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FEEDBACK - DEFtv #51

SenorJames

DEFIANT Grandpa
Joined
Jan 11, 2013
Messages
1,098
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http://www.defiancewrestling.com/results/98

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What did we do right?

What did we do wrong?

Match of the Night?

Segment of the Night?

Top Face of the Night?

Top Heel of the Night?

On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

Favorite Quotes?

Mark-Out Moments?

How was the overall reading experience?
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
Sep 11, 1997
Messages
4,815
Points
36
Age
48
Location
Katy, TX
Well, the first thing obviously done right is that meme.

Because poverty = comedy.
 

Evan H.

DEF Director of Fun & Good Humor
Joined
May 7, 2012
Messages
1,263
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0
Location
South Tejas
Website
myundertaking.tumblr.com
Just going to write as I read the card...


Good rundown. But ooooooooooooooh two of my favorite characters stepping up and opening the show with the thing I love with all my heart, a kick ass heel promo. The alliteration of his theme music at the start with the booms and snaps was a nice touch. There’s so much good in this segment… some of the words Dante uses paint a perfect picture of the guy. (Sobriquets, lol, great word) His character lives in his voice. Mushi though, he’s almost this abstract idea that lives in these killer descriptions of his bulk and his power that you do.


Eddie Dante:
And when the names of Frank Holiday and David Noble are eroded by the ravages of time, history will learn to revere and respect the eternal name of Minami no Kyojin… the “Giant of the South…” The Golden Goliath… the Japanese Juggernaut… THE GOD-BEAST! MU! SHI! GI!


[Rather than escalating in pitch as Darren Quimbey is wont to do when introducing the God-Beast, Eddie lowers himself to a cackley whisper.]


Eddie Dante:
...Haaaaaaaa-raaaaaaaaaa.


[Mushi then follows up by stripping the SoHER title from his waist and raising it above his head with both hands, before bellowing out a wild…]


Mushigihara:
OSU!!!


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!


Add to that the already well told emotional grey area that lives between Holiday and Noble. Like… Frank is an asshole. He and Noble are both these sort of mean, rowdy rebellious assholes rubbing into each other. I’ll say this, if both of you stick around DEF for the long haul the Generico/Steen-esque long drawn out tale of Holiday could be an absolutely killer story to tell. I think Noble has the bones to be the best heels in DEF, given the chance. Out of the two of them Holiday needs to skew a little more traditional babyface and Noble needs to find his dark side, just imo.


Great segment.


Had some funsies cutting promos with Damien. This was a really fun card for me top to bottom. I got a little avantgarde with this one, I hope it reads okay. Damien assured me its fine, but I’m still paranoid I got to artsy fartsy.


Good to see Penn back, I know RL has gotten in the way of Penn’s ascension but dude is still one of my faves.


[In Ty Walker's left hand is a corn dog, his right hand holds a Big Gulp full of a thick purple drank.]


LOL… racist. The dramatic shifts from cheeky shenanigans to bloody hardcore mayhem that’s totally Team Danger’s calling card fucking lives in Ty Walker. Can’t wait to see where this goes, lol. I dig heel Donovan, love the Malachi / Donovan connection. Multiple exclamation points, if you’re going to do it do the same number on each line. Just looks better visually. Good match, I like Donovan’s arc so far.


Someone should try for one of these multi-part segs on every card if they have the time, makes everything feel very organic and pulled together. Nice to the point promo from Harmony. I like that you’re not overloading us with information. You and K-Free are both doing fantastic jobs of introducing your characters. They remind me a lot of Holiday and Noble when they were introduced. Not bad company to be part of, if you ask me.


Same sort of slow burn with Malachi and his “followers”, can’t wait to see where this all goes.


LOL this match was so much fun to read. The thuds and whumps and bamfs and what have you, fuckin’ fantastic. Both Turner and Penn have such a great humor about them but both have in the past established how badass they are. Makes for fun matches, both of them. Turner has looked so good in the DEFmax, I hope Chris has a dance partner lined up for the next arc because heel Turner has serious legs with the right arc buddy.


Speak of the devil. LOVE the transition here between the end of Turner’s match and the segment with Logan afterward. Chris and Blue are doing some great work.


Ryan looks up as the door opens and Tyrone Walker walks in drinking a Slurpee. Ryan looks down at something in Ty’s hand.]


Dan Ryan:
What’re those?


[Ty tosses some DVDs off in the corner like he doesn’t give a shit (because he DOESN’T) and shrugs.]


Tyrone Walker:
Nothin’ important.


[Ryan nods as Ty sets down the slurpee on the table.]


This sort of attention to detail, show spanning bits that make DEF / angled feds as a whole just the tits when it comes to storytelling and character development. Just that tiny reference to an unrelated series of segments. Nom nom nom, this is the sort of word building I eat up like cake. I’m digging these Walker / Troy / Ryan segments a lot, seeing the unit really gel. The work Brunk and Lindz have done together has really been so subtle and great. As defensive and sort of dickish and in your face as both characters are in action, seeing a sort of personal side, exploring their relationship as friends, family. Can’t say enough good about it. Good work guys.


Good promo from the Matthews’... lol, what a fantastic basis for a feud.


Angus:
And I was this close to banging Miss Louisiana 2009 the other night - there’s a big, long distance between “almost” and “did it”, Keebs.


DDK:
...I don’t want to ask. That poor girl.


The amount of legitimate laughs this place gives me, good lord…


Good if not a little short match here between Keyes and Troy. This one could have been padded a little I think? But with a tourney like this not every match has to drag on forever.


LOL, Jesus it’s an emotional roller coaster with you two. You never catch EugeBox hugging it out, nope. They’re REAL men. Heh… anyway, yeah. Like I said before, the eventual re-explosion of Holiday and Noble will be fantastic. I still say Noble has a heel pedigree, I can just feel it. The continuation of the Matthews’ segment was a perfect example of a little doing a lot. Great job guys.


Great match, huge win for Noble. Our version of Owens beating Cena clean. Both characters come out looking good. It’s matches like this that make me sure we’ll do DEFmax 2 next year. This mixes things up so well, elevates on the cusp characters. Just smart booking.


Damn that Walker. Penn will get his revenge… keep the change… or… some other more funny money based pun, fuck you…


Nice exchange between Keyes and Troy, lol. “Is it something you wear? Like a glove?”


All props to Dames for the match, I wrote an entrance, he did the rest. Dude is a machine.


I’ll let everyone else who didn’t watch you put this puppy together massage your ego. Fantastic job dude.


I really really liked this card. Couple really really strong matches, some killer multi-part segments.
 

SenorJames

DEFIANT Grandpa
Joined
Jan 11, 2013
Messages
1,098
Points
0
Location
The Land of Cheese
THE RUNDOWN
Done did what it needed to do.

WAR, BITCH. YOU KNOW IT?
Haaaah, nice little screw you to people saying you said the fuck word too much last show, jerks! Very nice, loved Noble coming out, no words whatsoever, just goes HAM on Mushi. Perfect.

ORIGINAL DEFIANTS
So much win going on here. Loved it start to finish.

DOUBLE UP
Jon and I have talked about doing something with Penn & Ty, so we wrote this and the other two segments involving Penn and Ty. Kind of a random idea for fun that will turn into something of a “subplot” next arc and beyond.

JAKE DONOVAN v KENNY FREEMAN
Jake as a heel 8(Freeman gets some plucky rookie offense and doesn’t come off weak against a newly minted veteran heel with a chip on his shoulder. Dig Jake using the Canadian Destroyer for a finish, keep doing that, Blue.

MONEY… MONEY… MONEY!
More from me and Jon, who did most of the writing on these with my stepping in to edit here and there.

BRUISED
This maybe should have been the cold open, but I liked it as a follow up to what went down “at the end” of DEF50.

WELCOME TO DEFIANCE
I believe this is the first time I’ve ever read your writing, Tracey, good stuff. Won’t lie, I basically heard your voice while reading Harm’s dialogue, hah.

DEF*MAX - CURTIS PENN v SAMUEL T. TURNER II
Hah, Nazi Bob references for the win… I think STT2 should have been a little more dominant in the striking exchanges being much larger than Penn, but it’s not bad, just me being a little nitpicky… Like that you kept time and didn’t just have it end all of sudden with a time limit draw, allowing you to use and play up the panic of time running out… A stiff brawl, Penn cheated some, Turner was a brute, so it played well IMO. Well done, guys.

LITMUS TEST
Oh yeah, this is leading to a fight at the PPV, w00t, ULFRIC IS BACK! Gonna have to get with ya Blue on some segment fun with Dare & Ty, burying hatchets and such.

ART APPRECIATION
Brunk had the initial idea, then I put a spin on it, and we added some Lindsay Troy for fun.

WHAT’S IN A NAME?
Liked this segment a lot with the callbacks to things that are more than a year old now. It’s always good stuff when you can mesh the past with the present.

DEF*MAX - LINDSAY TROY v HENRY KEYES
Liking that you guys played up the mismatches in this one to begin, LT being the quicker, savvier veteran versus Keyes being stronger, younger, and more aggressive… Hah Angus’ loyalty for Keyes require payment in the form of BELL CLAPS, nice… Love that you guys wrote the SELLING of Keyes’ arm, little details… I like that you kept up with the arm and didn’t just move on to something else… BOOM! Outta nowhere with the BELL CLAP for the win, nicely done… Keyes gets to show his guts again, but this time gets his big win of the tournament, making all of this a worthwhile experience for the character.

THE BROMANCE IS REAL
Awww… One nitpick, he retires from stuntwork because of injuries and then goes into professional wrestling? #LOGIC! (I kid-ish, hah). Beautiful, also explains where MLM has went. Outstanding stuff, got a lil’ heavy here, a lil’ light there, some laughs, some serious bee, good, good stuff.

FALLING FOR IT
Gotta admit, I was kind of hearing Handsome Jack’s voice on Ryan Matthews’ part of the dialogue here, which is a good thing! Short, sweet, just another spot where RyMa is fucking with Dave.

DEF*MAX - DAN RYAN v DAVID NOBLE
I really appreciate that you wrote in Noble’s selling of the ladder match, that’s good detailing… Hah HEY-O line Angus scores on Lindsay Troy is funny… Good run of quick hit offense for Noble with the logical snapping back from Ryan with the suplexes and more methodical pace… Dan Ryan going straight Brocky Kong on David Noble with all these suplexes… HAH Crank is an AWESOME movie… Excellent match that PROPERLY plays out the underdog vs the odds that are stacked up against him. Even the look they share after the bell was nice.

ROBIN OF DA HOOD
Last one from me and Jon, who again did most of the leg work. I stepped in with some edits.

HAND GRENADE
Funny stuff with this segment. Keyes holding on to KAYFABE with white knuckles not knowing what a Hand Grenade is, hah. Good stuff, saw most of it as Lindz was writing and clipping it to me on AIM.

DEF*MAX - EUGENE DEWEY v BRONSON BOX
ALLLLLLLLRIGHTY THEN, here we go… Has nice shot at people who don’t post feedback… Not saying much because this match has me hooked, good stuff… EXCELLENT MATCH, guys… Loved how back and forth it was, with a handful of nifty counters sprinkled throughout. The way the finish was designed was outstanding, absolutely loved how that worked with Box capitalizing on a HUGE error in judgement by Euge to score the Bombasto out of the 10 count punch in the corner.
 

Alex Smiley

League Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2015
Messages
34
Points
6
Location
Somewhere in SoCal
Gonna try to do the blow by blow on feedback this time 'round.

Rundown/Minami no Kyojin
I love Eddie Dante as Mushi's mouthpiece, and this promo really drives home the attitude they both have about Mushi's rightful place as SoHer champ. Getting comeuppance by Holiday and Noble seemingly on the same page was brilliantly done. If this means all three are in the hunt for the belt, I'm all for it.

Original DEFIANTS
There is possibly nothing scarier than two very dangerous entities recognizing their commonality and forming an alliance. I love the idea that Box and Dewey aren't buddy buddy, just recognizing the "nonsense" they believe DEF has given them over the years. How it plays out in the DEF*MAX tourney is just as brilliant.

Double Up
Outside of Angus-isms, I think Ty Walker is my favorite comedic element in the fed right now. Love the interactions between him and Penn, and the vendor. Some real gold here.

Donovan vs Freeman
Big props to Blue for handling this match. Since I didn't have a hand in it this time, I get to leave some feedback I think haha: I love Angus' near 180 turn on Donovan, and the story of this angle continuing throughout the match (Kenny and Jake arguing, etc). Question re: Jake's theme tune...is that "Fire It Up" by Thousand Foot Krutch, by any chance? If it is, I'm sure I'm not the only one finding hilarity in both guys using the same band for themes. Funny how that works, lol.

Money...Money...MONEY!
Love the shock from Curtis on how well Ty is doing with merch sales. I'm about 90% sure I know where this is going, but the great thing about comedy is when you see the punchline coming and then anticipate it. Great segment to keep this story going on the show.

Bruised
Bronson's response to what happened last show was interesting, but almost expected given his previous promos to this point. Interesting to see both sides of Bronson's attitude here.

Welcome to DEFIANCE
Definitely digging this intro segment for Harmony, and am looking forward to how this plays out in what appears to be a possible angle with Malachi to an extent.

Penn/Turner
I just need to get this out of my system, first:

DDK:Well Angus you might want to turn your eyes away from the DEFItron because your good friend Curtis Penn has put together another video package for his match against STT.


Angus:

IF you ever say something like that again… I’ll hire someone to slit your wrists for you. In fact I’m going to start an Angus Relief Fund so that I can raise money to knock off that smile from Curtis Penn.

Angus:Kill that punkass Penn, Samuel!


DDK:
Why don’t you tell us how you really feel, Angus.


Angus:
Fuck that motherfucking Curtis Penn, he’s nothing but a low down piece of shit that deserves to be castrated. I hate you so bad that I think you’re mother was a crack whore who sucked dick for beer money like Peter Gilmour did ‘cause he was 30 and smarter than us all.


DDK: [sarcasm]

I’m glad that’s out of your system.

...BWAHAHAHA...

Okay, great match here. The reminders of the time limit were nice, you could feel that sense of urgency near the end.

---

I gotta take care of some stuff, but I will come back to this after.
 

CraigM

Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2007
Messages
351
Points
16
Age
38
The Run-Down
Yep.

War, bitch, You know it? (Or: Minami no Kyojin)
Just wanted to say this. This is the end of the Noble/Holiday feud and it has been a BLAST doing it. Thank you Ken for allowing this crazy guy to join up with you and do something that is up there in my favorite things I’ve ever done in this crazy hobby of ours.

Original DEFIANTS
Gotta say… this was pretty amazing. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. One of the most unique segments I’ve read in a long time, honestly. We finally figure out what kind of ‘relationship’ these two have and it is one not of friends or bros, but of strength in numbers. They still have no problem beating he hell out of one another. Great, great segment.

Double Up
Interesting segment as Ty Walker keeps floating around out there. Not sure what Walker has in mind with Penn tonight, but it should be interesting, nonetheless.

Donovan vs. Freeman
Solid opening match. The new Jake Donovan is worth seeing now ;-). Donovan really embracing the heel side and letting Freeman have it, the fans have it, and even giving it to the ref before picking up the victory here. Nicely done.

Money…Money…MONEY!
Still not sure where this is going?

Bruised
Picking up the pieces from the end of DEFtv50. The pure anger from Box here is great and it leaves you wondering what he will do to Ty as a result of what Walker did.

Welcome to DEFIANCE
Welcome!

Penn vs. Turner
Like Keebs said, a very good back and forth match. I think one of my favorite things this arc is the amount of physicality being shown by Turner in his matches. He is just going out there and walloping people. That has been great to watch and the trend is continuing match after match. A draw adds some more intrigued as we go into the final week of the DEF*MAX tournament.

Litmus Test
Nice short segment that continues to build this story with Turner/Warner, which is great honestly the amount of use this particular NPC is getting if you ask me.

Art Appreciation
I laughed HARD at this segment. So much fun in this segment. Though I am left to wonder who is manning Penn’s merchandise table. Still, hilarious segment through and through.

What’s in a Name?
I’m really enjoying the feuds that are with folks not being wrapped up in DEF*MAX as it’s allowing these players to come in and shine (Harmony, Freeman, Ryan Matthews). Solid segment here to continue to progress the feud. Nothing stand out, but solid.

Troy vs. Keyes
I love this match because of how tight and short it is. The Bell Clap coming out of NOWHERE and ending a match just like that? That is unbelievably believable and amps up the importance of the Bell Clap even further. Definitely one of the upsets of the tournament here.

Bromance is Real
I loved doing this seg with Ken. It was like riding a bike!

Falling For It
Short and sweet.

Noble vs. Ryan
Yep.

Robin of Da Hood
Funny? Yes. Still not certain what the point of it was?

Hand Grenade
I thought ‘Art Appreciation’ was the funniest segment of the night. Nope. I was wrong. This was great. Who do I have to write to to make this a weekly thing? Because it NEEDS to happen as of yesterday.

Dewey vs. Box
Tame ending for sure. Chinks have been shown in Dewey’s armor as he’s now lost to Box + Troy. Being the man? Now he has to show why he is the FIST and that’s going to be a much more interesting story in my opinion. Really good match. Match of the Night actually. Good stuff.
 

Justin

Da BAWS
Staff member
Joined
Jun 26, 2009
Messages
2,466
Points
36
Age
42
Website
www.defiancewrestling.com
The Run-Down
Solid work, I always love these as they help set the tone of the show.

War, bitch, You know it? (Or: Minami no Kyojin)
I wanna take a second here to commend Rob for really figuring it out and "getting it" with Eddie and Mushi. These two are probably my favorite reads right now. And a big part of that also goes to Ken and Craig who have played opposite Rob with Frank and Noble, two character who have come into their own and are really, really killing it week in and week out. This was a great segment where the faces got over and the heel showed ass and everything was as it should have been.

Original DEFIANTS
Leave it to Damien and Evan to knock it the fuck right out of the park. Once again they've found a way to write a segment that stands out for being original and puts the story together perfectly. I can't suck the cock of this segment enough.

Double Up
I like it. I know it's going somewhere, and it's just good funny TV.

Donovan vs. Freeman
Donovan is coming into his own as a true heel, and Freeman showing that young babyface fire that gets over so easily. This was a solid opener.

Money…Money…MONEY!
While I do get the point of these and I did enjoy them all, there sure were a lot of them...

Bruised
So, is it Jane's fault that Box got a pipe wrapped around his head, or that the video got out? That's my only question about this segment: What's Box so mad about?

Welcome to DEFIANCE
Easy Peezy "getting to know you" segment. I have no qualms. I'm interested to see how Harmony fits into DEF as a woman who has to follow in Heidi, Claira, and LT's footsteps.

Penn vs. Turner
Jesus, these dudes just beat the shit out of eachother. Fun match, and a great finish. Kudos, fellas. I would like to see some of the hardcore cussing for cussing's sake cut down in the future though.

Litmus Test
Some day Derrick "Don't call me Ulfric" Logan and Eric Dane are going to cross paths in DEF. That is going to be an interesting day.

Art Appreciation
I LOL'd.

What’s in a Name?
I don't know that I like this as an in-ring, as in-rings are usually scheduled for top talent and top angles. Nothing wrong with it mechanically though, glad to see Ryan and Rob working together and putting out solid work week in and week out.

Troy vs. Keyes
Great match, great finish! I'm so glad we got it booked so there would be intrigue all the way through this tournament on both sides of the board. It makes me feel good that I made this decision when I see it played out properly.

Bromance is Real
Finally, a babyface moment for these two that you can really sink your teeth into.

Falling For It
Formulaic, but nothing wrong with that!

Noble vs. Ryan
Another good match! The ending seemed wonky somehow, can't place what exactly but something. Anyhow, to further gush about the tournament the whole idea was to put the spotlight on new and interesting characters and dynamics, and this surely lived up to that mission statement.

Robin of Da Hood
I LOL'd again. I hope this heats up sooner rather than later.

Hand Grenade
I LOL'd a lot! Excellent character building segment.

Dewey vs. Box
Another fantastic main event! Also another person with a win over TEH CHMAP! That's always interesting to have floating about, and what's this I hear about ZOMG YOOJEAN IS OUT OF TEH TOURNAMENT? Say it ain't so, Casey, say it ain't so!

Personal Thoughts:
The show was an easy, smooth read. I really am digging the 15 minute time-limit matches and we may just switch to that in the funeral and start saving the big stuff for the big shows. I can't get over how well everything is coming together, either. It's always great watching plans that you helped book come to fruition!

Speaking of, I've taken a backseat the past few shows but it's getting that time again, so anybody who needs me to help figure out their end-games or their next steps, get at me.

All in all I love this show, I give it an 8 out of 10 easily.

MVP:
David Noble

Top Face:
Lindsay Troy

Top Heel:
Bronson Box
 

Evan H.

DEF Director of Fun & Good Humor
Joined
May 7, 2012
Messages
1,263
Points
0
Location
South Tejas
Website
myundertaking.tumblr.com

Thanks for the kind words, sir. And, it was the video. He was mad she didn't swoop in and nix that before it got out. Sort of a "this is what I pay you for / remember I can still hurt you" segment. It's also my attempt to push the idea of this crazy building spanning security camera network that can be accessed, pulled from, used to do "unaware" backstage segments.
 

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