(Diego en Fuego steps up to a microphone. His eyes dart back and forth from underneath the mask.)
DIEGO: Hermanas y hermanos...
(CUTTO: All white crowd.)
DIEGO: Hola! Mi llamo es Diego...Diego en Fuego!
(SFX: Crickets!)
(CUTTO: Diego glances behind him and to the right, locking eyes with short, pudgy man wearing a pair of Coke-bottle glasses. He shrugs. Diego pinches the bridge of his nose. He shakes his head and turns back to the suddenly hostile y confused crowd.)
DIEGO: My bad, y'all. I got some whack stats form the man in the back. He said y'all would looooooove the authentic language of my people. But really...who wants to listen to some guy, standing up here, and brag about being fluent in three languages - yeah, three! Ebonics counts - [/question] ?
Not me, no way. No mas, I say! Shall we get down to business? Truth be told, I have a big time gig coming up. I don't want to dive into details but...it's for the FMLL.
(SFX: Crickets.)
(CUTTO: Crickets, eating popcorn, and laughing at Diego en Fuego.)
DIEGO: Come on, you serious? You didn't hear? The finest luchadores from around the world are coming together to prove once and for all...who is the greatest? Which brings me to why I'm here...
(SFX: Studio laughter! hahahahahahahaaaaaa)
(CUTTO: All white crowd...with crickets eating popcorn and laughing at Diego en Fuego.)
DIEGO: The answer?
(CUTTO: Coy, sexy grin from underneath Diego en Fuego's mask. He props his fist under his chin.)
DIEGO: Watch FMLL Uno. Watch el Lucha Triangular. Watch me...become campion! That's how I roll! Now... can anyone validate my parking, por favor?
(CUTTO: All cricket crowd, laughing at popcorn, and eating the white people. Diego walks from the podeum, through the curtains, and jerks them open. He finds the pudgy man holding a trash can over his head in hopes of not being spotted. Diego en Fuego quickly grabs it and launches it into orbit at first sight.)
PUDGITO: (el sigh) Dios mi.
FTB