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FRIDAY NIGHT VULGAR 05

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LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
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ii. Knives Out

(FADEIN: Sitting on a locker room bench, leaning toward the camera, is YUTAKA MAEDA. His bleached blonde hair sits still atop his head, and he’s rubbing his hands together while giving a menacing look to the camera)

MAEDA: You look at me…and you see a bad film. You hear broken English; a generation of overfed, unemployed internet marks clamoring to love me not for what I am, but because of who they want me to be. (pauses) I’m not here to earn a five star write-up. Not here to pull off acrobatic stunts, or share with you my favorite tentacle rape scenes. You sure as hell can’t kill me with a back bodydrop. I’m here to take your best shot…your very best shot…and then I’m gonna beat you, and humiliate you. You wanted Puroresu? You’ve got me…and I’m gonna take all your gold back to Japan. Easy!

(STATIC-CUTTO: ‘The Watertown Wrecking Ball’ VIC GRAVENDER sitting at a buffet table. He’s got three plates in front of him that includes: General Tso’s, rice lo mein, chicken chow mein, happy family #3 box, egg rolls, macaroni and cheese, boneless spare ribs, corn on the cobb, and sushi)

GRAVENDER: (words are inaudible due to a full mouth)

(STATIC-CUTTO: ‘DANGEROUS’ DUKE MACKEY at the Manhattan Center entrance, with a sleazy city stripper on both arms. He’s wearing a “Staff” t-shirt, and the ladies are rubbing his arms and shoulders)

MACKEY: I’ve been watching these guys come out here, every night, WHINING and CRYING about some bullsh[BLEEP]t racism. Look pal, if ya can’t make it on your own merits, you need to step outta the way and let the real men handle business. Yeah I’m talkin’ ta YOU Canyeta, and your little friend in a mask. Things are gonna be different, ‘cause TONIGHT, RA hired personally hired ME to watch the door and make sure you two jerk-offs don’t get anywhere NEAR the ring. I’ve been handling mooks like you at the front door at Scores for YEARS. Anyone touches the girls? BAM! I throw ‘em out into the street like yesta’day’s garbage. And tonight, you come around here, that’s EXACTLY what you’re gonna be.

(Grins as the ladies continue touching him)

(STATIC-CUTTO: Side-street, night time. ARCANGEL IV stands there in his black and gray moth mask, next to CARLOS CANYETA in street clothes)

ARCANGEL: My baby daughter was watching cartoons on the television yesterday. I sat down with her, brought her a bowl of cereal, and I almost threw up when I saw what she was looking at. It was a cartoon about a Mexican hero and his Princess, defeating the outlaws and saving the day. Except…the hero and the Princess and all the good guys were fair skinned and Anglo as the skin on Mickey Rooney’s ass, and nonna them sounded like vatos to me. And all the villains…they was the brown ones, dark brown. They sounded like they was livin’ in tha barrio, like REAL vatos. And they was stupid as hell, CRIMINALS, BAD GUYS, THUGS. See that’s how they view us, and that’s how they want us to view ourselves. Take a guy like Carlos here. He a true vato- brown, proud, don’t play by no white man’s bullsh[BLEEP]t rules, and that’s why he been blackballed from every promotion in the country. You wanna be accepted into their society, you gotta dress the part, ACT the part, be their slave, talk their language, sound like you f[BLEEP]kin’ Ernie Anastos from the 12 o’clock news or some sh[BLEEP]t. That makes you one of the GOOD GUYS. Well guess what, NLW? The bad guys are here, and we’re pissed off. Your rules made us loco. Your society made us ANGRY. And if you don’t start dealing on OUR TERMS, essay? It’s gonna be LIGHTS…OUT!

(Canyeta drags his thumb across his neck)

(STATIC-CUTTO: Camera moves up from the feet, to the legs, to the spiked padded shoulders of an intense, heavy breathing MAGNUS DESTRUCTO, who slowly looks to the ceiling and belts out triumphant laughter)

(CUTTO: STATIC)
 
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LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
Jul 3, 1997
Messages
2,073
Points
36
Age
40
Location
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iii. Intro (Sans red-light nudity)

(FADEIN: The black lettering of the ‘NLW’ logo with red underline moves closer over a white background to the front of your screen; the closer it comes, the louder we hear the sound of screeching over subway tracks.. As it comes forward, it begins revolving 180 degrees. When it turns, the back of the logo features MAGNUS DESTRUCTO throwing up a spike-shouldered arm inside the logo lettering. It turns two more times, this time featuring a cross-armed BOBBY JACK WINDHAM looking down at the camera. Turns two more times, and we see a pan shot of a packed crowd at the Manhattan Center as the logo flies through the screen, transitioning to a full screen shot of the crowd)

(CUEUP: “Redneck” by Lamb of God)

(CUTTO: BOBBY JACK WINDHAM bouncing off the ropes and slowing down as he circles his arms forward in preparation for a match)

(CUTTO: MAGNUS DESTRUCTO swinging around a mace at center ring with two hands, before dropping it and beating his chest with one hand)

(CUTTO: JEEBUS MCFARK flexing a bicep, showing off his William Wallace portrait tattoo)

(CUTTO: STRAWBERRY B*TCH, red hair flowing over her shoulders as she leans her DOUBLE D cleavage over the guard rail and winks)

(CUTTO: ‘ELECTRIC’ EDDIE PATTON climbing the last turnbuckle before leaping off to hit a frogsplash on WANDERLUST)

V/O: “THIS IS A MUTHA-F*CKIN INNNN-VI-TAY-SHYYYOOOON!

(CUTTO: Camera moves from the boots, to the knees, to the obvious pitched tent, chest, and eventually a front view of WANDERLUST gripping one of his taped wrists and throwing a knowing look to the crowd)

V/O: “THE ONLY OOOOONNNNE YOU COULD EEEEEVER NEED!”

(CUTTO: VIC GRAVENDER hitting the BOMB DROP on some poor bastard)

V/O: “THIS IS A MUTHA-F*CKIN INNNN-VI-TAY-SHYYYOOOON! YOU TRY ME…”

(CUTTO: YUTAKA MAEDA ambushing MAGNUS in the locker room area; MAEDA firing a brass knuckled fist at TERENCE’s forehead until he lets go of the ropes and falls to the floor)

(CUTTO: CHIEF BIG BET hitting a rolling fireman’s carry slam on a much smaller opponent)

(CUTTO: ZESTY MORDANT beating up an opponent; the referee tries taking the rum and coke from his hand and gets shoved to the ground)

(CUTTO: IMPULSE hitting EDDIE PATTON, bandage around a broken jaw, with a second SUDDEN IMPACT superkick!)

V/O: “BUT I AIN’T ONE TO CALL NAMES!”

(CUTTO: RORY HENDERSON losing his g*ddamn SH*T and choking someone out in THE RELAPSE)

V/O: “OR THROW STONES IN A HOUSE OF GLASS! YOU TRY ME!”

(CUTTO: ELI SCHEINBERG ducking a right and a left from an opponent, turning around and clocking them with an elbow before bowing to the crowd)

(CUTTO: A wild fan running into the ring at BOBBY JACK WINDHAM before getting PASTED with a SWEETWATER DREAMS clothesline from hell! WINDHAM gets up and wipes his hands up and down like he just took out the trash)

V/O: “THIS IS A MUTHA-F*CKIN INNNN-VI-TAY-SHYYYYON!”

(CUTTO: STRAWBERRY B*TCH promptly removing JIMMY MYLDE’s arm from her shoulder, curling her lip and walking off camera)

V/O: “THE ONLY OOOONNNE YOU COULD EEEEVER NEED!”

(CUTTO: ELI SCHEINBERG stumbles before boldly grinning in IMPULSE’s face after taking a big hit)

V/O: “THIS IS A MUTHA-F*CKIN INNNN-VI-TAY-SHYYYON!”

(CUTTO: MAGNUS DESTRUCTO blindfolded, riding a giant Russian circus bear to the ring)

V/O: “JUST. ONE. TYYYYYYYYYME!”

(CUTTO: IMPULSE throwing up a fist to the crowd; hitting J1D with a SUDDEN IMPACT superkick)

(CUTTO: In front of SCORES strip club in Manhattan, DUKE MACKEY, wearing a “STAFF” t-shirt, throws JIMMY MYLDE out of the club and onto his ass in the street)

(CUTTO: EDDIE PATTON tied up in the tree of woe; BOBBY JACK WINDHAM repeatedly stomps him in the face before getting into his face with a microphone)

(CUTTO: WANDERLUST grins as a thirty-something female strokes his chest. She smiles at the camera and flashes her wedding ring; TRASHY ROMANCE looks on studiously)

(CUTTO: TERENCE holding up a fan-sign that reads “F*CK THIS SAUSAGE PARTY!”)

V/O: “JUST”

(CUTTO: VIC GRAVENDER hits a diving headbutt!)

V/O: “ONE”

(CUTTO: WANDERLUST clotheslines ELI SCHEINBERG over the ropes and immediately drops to his knees in exhaustion)

V/O: “TYYYYYYYYME!”

(CUTTO: ZESTY MORDANT throwing up a bottle of Old St. Croix, pouring it over his face amongst a throng of rabid fans…as the ‘NLW’ logo fades back onto the screen)

RA PALAZZO V/O: “Welcome…to the NEXT LEVEL!”
 

LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
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Messages
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Points
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Age
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Location
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iv. Prologue (DEATH WISH)

(CUEUP: “Headhunter” by Front 242)

(FADEIN: Standing in front of the black and white NLW backdrop are BRIAN OBERSTARR and JIMMY MYLDE. Oberstarr is wearing a black with pinstripes suit, while Jimmy’s rocking the earth tones, hair slicked back and eyes covered by Aviators as usual)

MYLDE: (mid-sentence) –for 20 years, and I don’t care what you, or any of those all-boys Jesuit Academy homosexuals, sword-fighting with each other’s dicks, have to say about it: Charles Bronson is a MAN’S MAN, always was, always will be.

OBERSTARR: OK Chaminade isn’t Jesuit number one, and number two…

MYLDE: Hey are we on right now? Come on kid, pay attention when the red light’s on, will ya?

OBERSTARR: (immediately turns to the camera as if nothing happened) HELLO AND WELCOME to another edition of Friday Night Vulgar! I’m Brian Oberstarr along with Jimmy Mylde…

MYLDE: No, I’M Jimmy Mylde, and you’re weighing me down. So let’s cut to the chase, shall we? Hype the matches, sweetheart.

OBERSTARR: Fans, we are approximately ONE SHOW away from the company’s first pay-per-view, “EYE FOR AN EYE.” And tonight, you’ll be getting a taste of what’s to come when the KING OF ALL MONSTERS himself, MAGNUS DESTRUCTO takes on up and comer Jeebus McFark.

MYLDE: Look, you want me to stand here and act like the kid’s got a shot at ‘The Monster’ just ‘cause we’re paying him to be here? (Mocking tone) Yeah OK, fine, anything can happen when you step in that ring blah blah blah blah blah LOOK…

(CUTTO: Camera moves from the waist up of MAGNUS DESTRUCTO, standing at the turnbuckles with his arms crossed)

MYLDE: …this ain’t just any man we’re talking about here. This is the BIG MAN. The guy who’s been impaling heads left and right like his name was Vlad Tepes. Nobody’s been able to stop him, ONE MAN’s been able to dent him…

(CUTTO: YUTAKA MAEDA firing away elbows at a blind and blindfolded MAGNUS)

MYLDE: …and even then, he had to cripple his eyesight with an ambush to do it. And he STILL LOST. I hate this guy as much as the next self-respecting color commentator, but you think I’d say that to his face? I’m not sure there’s anybody who can beat Magnus Destructo- it ain’t Impulse, and it DAMN SURE ain’t some Scot mook named Jeebus MacIntyre the third!

OBERSTARR: That’s McFark, and while Magnus has certainly been a force, you CANNOT underestimate the tough as nails Scotsman after the performance he put on at the Golden Boy Grand Prix. Now you brought up Yutaka Maeda, so let’s talk about him because he’ll be in action tonight against ZESTY MORDANT!

MYLDE: This match will answer the age-old question: what happens when a Jap Kamikaze runs into a drunken Canuck? Who knows these things! Personally, my money’s on the Jap, ‘cause those people are shifty, but it’s like my wise old Uncle once told me: never underestimate a man when he’s got Jack Daniels running through his veins.

OBERSTARR: ELI SCHEINBERG, the Brooklyn Brit that made a name for himself when he almost pulled the upset of the century over Impulse at the Golden Boy, returns to action tonight when he meets RORY HENDERSON!

MYLDE: Apparently you can buy any old nutty fruit loop from a psych ward, and he’ll make all kinds of crazy grunts on television. But what you CAN’T BUY, Ober-wan, is ATTITUDE, and the Jewboy’s got it in spades! I’m talking about Shabbat Shalom getting shoved so far up Rory’s ass, his breath’ll smell like dreidel residue from now til the Sabbath.

OBERSTARR: Alright alright, but remember the big size advantage Rory has over him. It’s a two inch and almost 90 pound difference between them, and Eli’s technical prowess may not be good enough to overcome that. Finally, in what will certainly be MATCH OF THE NIGHT, we’ve matched up two guys who I personally feel will be the top two contenders for the Open Weight Title once it’s decided. It’s going to be EDDIE PATTON versus VIC GRAVENDER in our main event tonight!

MYLDE: You could certainly make the argument that the winner here deserves the first crack at the new champion, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. They both have a lot to prove coming off tournament losses, and there are plenty of other men out there lurking…LIKE Maeda…LIKE Scheinberg…LIKE Bobby Jack Windham…

OBERSTARR: Windham, who will be speaking to us tonight about well…just about anything he wants, which has been his custom as of late.

MYLDE: That boy is on a mission from GOD to deliver us from non-Windham-name-havin’ jabronies, and I can’t WAIT.

OBERSTARR: And before the night is done, I WILL speak to both Impulse and Magnus Destructo in the ring, when I conduct a joint interview with the two men who will vie for the inaugural NLW World Open Weight Championship on pay-per-view this month. DO NOT miss that, and don’t change the channel either…because this is VULGAR!

(CUTTO: STATIC)
 

LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
Jul 3, 1997
Messages
2,073
Points
36
Age
40
Location
The Silk Road
v. Jewish Guy versus Crazy Guy

(CUTTO: Entrance way where RORY HENDERSON makes his way out the curtains wearing blue jeans and a straight jacket. Behind him is his supervisor from the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, DR. ALAN SANDERS. ‘The Murder’ from the Psycho soundtrack plays as the fans pelt the restrained Henderson with food, soda, and all kinds of other sh*t. What’d you expect was gonna happen when a bunch of metalheads see a guy locked up in a straight jacket?)

SIREN: MMMMMMaking his way to the ring! He stands SIX FOOT TWO, and weighs in at TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY EIGHT POUNDS! FRRRRRRROM the CEDARS-SINAI MEDICAL CENTER IN LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA! RRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HENDERSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

(Both men stop in front of the apron- Dr. Sanders undoes Rory’s straight jacket, and watches him quickly pull himself into the ring)

(CUEUP: “Supersonic” by Oasis)

SIREN: ANNNND HIS OPPONENT!

(Chorus of boos)

(The bushy haired ‘MANCHESTER MAULER’ ELI SCHEINBERG walks out, slowly, confidently, wearing black MMA gloves and tights- right leg is the British Union Jack, left leg is the Israeli Star of David flag)

SIREN: He stands FIVE ELEVENT weighing in at ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY POUNDS! FROM MANCHESTERRRRRRR ENGLAND! THE MANCHESTER MAULER! EEEEEEEEEELLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIINNNNNBEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!

(Scheinberg slides underneath the bottom ropes into the ring and circles Henderson quickly)

(SFX: Bell rings)

OBERSTARR: Interesting matchup we have here; the smallest competitor in NLW versus one of the largest. Though for his size disadvantage, the tough Brit Scheinberg has an amazing tolerance for pain as evidenced by painful armbar and shoulderlock submissions Impulse applied on him, both of which looked to be on the verge of crippling him. But Eli didn’t tap, which I still find amazing.

MYLDE: No kidding. I thought we were gonna see the first broken bones in NLW television history, and I don’t mean the kind you only hear about the next day. I’m talking about the bone snapping clear as day, right in front of you.

OBERSTARR: Scheinberg goes to hook up but Henderson SMASHES HIM with a big right to the forehead! ANOTHER right! ANOTHER! Eli’s on one knee, and Henderson hits him AGAIN!

MYLDE: He’s exploiting that power advantage already- real smart.

OBERSTARR: Henderson grabs him by the hair, and there he goes! TO THE OUTSIDE! Hendo sent Scheinberg to the mat, and this crowd loves it! And gutsy as he is, they still haven’t warmed up to Eli Scheinberg here in New York City, due in part to his cavalier attitude toward Impulse when they met at the Golden Boy.

MYLDE: Eli’s one of those guys where they boo him, but they love to watch him wrestle all the same. Unlike you, Oberstarr- they just boo you, period.

OBERSTARR: Back up on the ring apron is Eli. Here comes Hendo, but Eli sunset flips over the ropes! Does he have him for the rollup?! NO! Henderson drops down on one knee and is PUMMELING Scheinberg with lefts and rights! This is NOT a good position for the Manchester Mauler!

(CROWD: “KICK HIS ASS, SEA-BASS, KICK HIS ASS!” clap-clap!)

MYLDE: Only New York City would cheer for a man in a straight jacket. But then again...there's always East LA.

OBERSTARR: Here we go! Henderson throws Scheinberg into the turnbuckles- wait! Eli leaps up! FLYING CROSSBODY! NO! HENDO CATCHES HIM! OH MY! BACKBREAKER! THIS COULD BE ALL! ONE! TWOOOO AND- NO! JUST TWO!

MYLDE: Eli’s spine cracked so loud, I thought I heard someone yell “L’CHAIM!”

OBERSTARR: Henderson with a sleeper hold applied, trying to wear down that non-stop energy of Eli Scheinberg’s. And really, that’s the difficulty Hendo or any of our top big men face when matched with Eli, as we see him to his feet trying to escape…these guys are so quick, so agile, you really have to wear them down-WAIT A MINUTE! ELI PUSHES OFF THE ROPES AND ROLLS BACKWARDS! THE HOLD IS STILL ON! WHOSE PIN IS IT?! ONE! TWOOOO! THREE! HE GOT HIM!

MYLDE: Who got him?! Who got him?!

(SFX: Bell rings)

SIREN: HERE IS YOUR WINNNERRRRRR…EEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIII SCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIINBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!

(CUEUP: “Supersonice” by Oasis)

OBERSTARR: Can you believe it? Eli Scheinberg pulls off a Houdini escape act and leaves with the victory tonight!

MYLDE: That right there is full proof: the bigger they are, the dumber they come. Sure, Scheiny was taking a beating there for a while, but he had a gameplan, and took advantage of the inferior wrestling ability of the big man. Better luck next time, Chief.

(Scheinberg immediately flees the ring as Henderson gets up in anger. He stops in the entranceway to throw his hands up and mock the crowd, but turns to run as he sees Henderson come after him)

OBERSTARR: There he goes! We have a chase on our hands!

MYLDE: Henderson was too slow for Eli in the ring, but now he thinks he’s gonna beat him in a race? Yeah good luck with that.

OBERSTARR: Stick around, we’ve got more action!

(CUTTO: STATIC)
 
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LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
Jul 3, 1997
Messages
2,073
Points
36
Age
40
Location
The Silk Road
vi. Invaders must die

(CUTTO: ‘DANGEROUS’ DUKE MACKEY standing in front of the doors at the Manhattan Center, arms folded wearing a black with white lettering ‘Event Staff’ t-shirt. The voluptuous redhead STRAWBERRY B!TCH stands next to him, squeezing one of his biceps and flirting)

StrB!TCH: …that’s what I hear, anyway.

MACKEY: Definitely, it’s a tough job. You’ve gotta realize, when those girls are up there, shaking their ass, doing full-splits in heels and whatnot…they’re in a very vulnerable position. And if there ain’t a guy like me to step in when customer’s get a little rowdy, try to get up on the stage even- (looks off camera) HEY, listen guys, I was told not to let you in. Let’s not get stupid now…

(CARLOS CANYETA and ARCANGEL IV walk into camera view, wearing street clothes. Angel’s in his black and gray moth-imprint mask)

ARCANGEL: Stupid? Who’s getting stupid around here? Huh? Pendejo? Who’s getting stupid?

MACKEY: I’m telling you ONE time-(SFX: THUD!)

StrB!TCH: AHHHH! STOP IT! STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

(Canyeta and Angel are throwing rapid fire punches at Mackey, bringing him down to his knees. Canyeta kicks him in the face, sending him to the ground and laying in the fetal position. Angel begins to stomp him; Canyeta follows suit)

StrB!TCH: LEAVE HIM ALONE!

ARCANGEL: Shut the f[BLEEP]k up, Puta.

(Canyeta grabs a trash can, empties all the waste onto Mackey- papers, wrappers, half-eaten food, banana peels- and proceeds to BEAT HIM with it!)

ARCANGEL: YEAH! F[BLEEP]k him up, holmes!

(A few more shots with the garbage can, and Canyeta tosses it aside. He kneels down in front of a bloody, half-conscious Mackey and speaks to him)

CANYETA: You think I don’t belong here? I’m a WORLD CHAMPION- and you tell that brown-hating boss of yours, Palazzo, that I’m not going ANYWHERE. He’s gonna give me my shot…or I’m gonna cripple his talent.

(He backs off, but not before giving Mackey another kick for good measure. Angel quips, “Motherf[BLEEP]ker” and spits on Mackey, and both men leave. Strawberry, looking shocked and scared, kneels down by him)

StrB!TCH: OH MY GOD! Are you OK?

(CUTTO: STATIC)
 

LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
Jul 3, 1997
Messages
2,073
Points
36
Age
40
Location
The Silk Road
vii. On this night, a God

(CUTTO: Overhead shot of the Hammerstein Ballroom. All of a sudden, the lights fade to black)

(CUEUP: “Conquer All” by Behemoth)

(HUGE POP! Spotlights hit the entrance curtain and a red mist billows around the stage as a figure emerges. The spotlight reveals DOMINATRA BOZOTH, who's black lips curl back into a SNEER as her wild eyes gaze over the see of miscreant HEATHENS as far as the eye can see. She holds up a mic that is shaped like a man's skull, yanked violently from his shoulders)

DOMINATRA: Worthless, squirming, VILE MAGGOTS!!

(POP!)

DOMINATRA: PREPARE YOURSELVES for the glorious coming of the LORD OF DESTRUCTION!! KNEEL, you putrid swine! KNEEL before the WRATH of MAGNUS DESTRUCTO!!![b/]

(The spotlights hit the curtain as they are violently ripped aside, and a living monster -- the KING OF ALL MONSTERS -- charges onto the stage like a raging bull set loose into the ring, looking for the matador to gore, gut, and disembowel. The crowd POPS a few extra decibels, as MAGNUS DESTRUCTO thrusts BOTH arms high into the air! His armor is looking rather Satanic themed, with a dark red helmet bearing two massive black bullhorns... shades of Tim Curry's portrayal of Darkness from Ridley Scott's legend. The shoulder pads look as though demonic bones are protruding from leathery crimson skin. His face -- an absolute HORROR to look at right now -- is painted up like an insane Gene Simmons... and he even drops out the tongue to give it the full effect. On either side of him, bursts of fire SHOOT into the air, likes geysers bursting hellfire from cracks in the earth)

OBERSTARR: That right there, ladies and gentleman, might be the most intimidating figure in professional wrestling today. Truly, this man is a monster in every sense of the word.

MYLDE: No question, Ober-wan. His fans are a bunch of metalhead idiots whose mommy’s still bug them to clean their rooms or find a job, ‘cause g*ddamn it they’re 31 years old…but that doesn’t change the fact that Magnus has been running through the NLW roster like a hot knife through butter.

(More figures emerge from the curtain... and Magnus has elected to bring alond the entire entourage for this conference -- Gollomoch, the faceless, bloated horror, steps out with death-like patience, while Dulak the Defiler slinks to the shadows. Magnus Destructo, the Lord of the Carpathian Mountains, strides with grisly intent down the rampway to the ring. He looks like a predator smelling a fresh kill)

(Suddenly, his wild black eyes catch something. Hanging right over the barrier is a garishly hot pink sign -- something so ******* blasphemous in the presence of the Dreaded Devourer that it just can't simply be PASSED BY! In big black letters, the front reads "IMPULSE IS THE NEXT LEVEL!" One would note by now that the fan's head looks a tad strange, with his face fixed in a single, odd expression- it’s obviously a mannequin. Snarling with bloodthirst, Destructo LUNGES to the barricade... not ripping the sign out of the fans' hands but instead, ripping the fans' "head" OFF his shoulders and throwing it into the crowd where a pack of rabid fans immediately break into an all-out melee fighting over it. A fresh geyser of fake and bright red blood SPRAYS over the audience, earning shrieks of many emotions -- terror, disgust, and, sickeningly enough, even DELIGHT)

MYLDE: Alright, who brought the mannequin?

(Magnus steps over the ropes, into the ring, and throws his arms and head up in glory to the heavens above, rousing the crowd into a “MAG-NUS! MAG-NUS!” chant)

(SFX: Bell rings)

OBERSTARR: Here we go, THE BIG MAN! 2010 King of All Monsters, MAGNUS DESTRUCTO set to take on the up and comer, JEEBUS MCFARK, who pulled a major upset over Wanderlust at the Golden Boy Grand Prix before coming up short against Eddie Patton.

(CROWD: “MAG-NUS! (F*CK-HIM-UP!) MAG-NUS! (F*CK HIM UP!)”

OBERSTARR: These fans can’t get enough of the Baron of Brutality! And he’s eating it all up! HERE COMES JEEBUS DASHING IN WITH RIGHTS AND LEFTS! HE’S NOT WASTING ANY TIME!

MYLDE: There ya go, kid, GET AFTER IT!

OBERSTARR: Magnus is sent back a few steps, and now Jeebus comes of the ropes! CLOTHESLINE! NO! Magnus isn’t even on his heels! He tries again- CLOTHESLINE! Magnus wobbled, but he’s still on his feet. ONE MORE TIME!

(BIG POP!)

OBERSTARR: NO! NO! HE HAS JEEBUS BY THE NECK!

MYLDE: You see that? He couldn’t hurt him, Oberstarr!

OBERSTARR: LOOK OUT! (POP!) Magnus tosses Jeebus McFark into the turnbuckles, BY HIS NECK! WHAT STRENGTH! Jeebus charges out- he’s FEARLESS! OOOH MY! Boot to the midsection! WAIT A MINUTE!

(BIG CHEERS!)

OBERSTARR: HE’S GOING FOR IT! MAGNUS IS CALLING FOR THE DESTRUCTO BOMB! LOOOOOK OUUUUUUT!

(SFX: THUD! CROWD POPS!)

OBERSTARR: AND DOWN HE GOES! MAGNUS MAKES THE COVER WITH HIS FOOT! ONE! TWO! THREE! IT’S OVER!

(SFX: Bell rings)

SIREN: AAAAAND YOUR WINNER! MAGNUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS DEEEEEEEEEEEEESTRUCTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

OBERSTARR: Without a doubt, Magnus’ most impressive performance to date, and that’s saying a lot!

MYLDE: He’s the man to beat right now. Impulse has fought some wars already against guys his own size. When he meets Magnus, the size differential might just be too much, as it was here tonight.

OBERSTARR: Speaking of which, I won’t keep the man waiting any longer. Keep my seat warm, Jimmy, because in a few moments I’ll be interviewing both Magnus and Impulse RIGHT HERE on Friday Night Vulgar!

(FADEOUT)
 

LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
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viii. …but you will blow me first

(FADEIN: WALT DISNEY PICTURES logo. Cuts to an animated scene of POCAHONTAS and JOHN SMITH embracing in the woods)

V/O: Walt Disney Pictures presents…

POCAHONTAS: Let me show you the colors of the wind…

SMITH (voice is familiar): Oh yeah?

V/O: The re-dubbed, re-animated, re-vamped re-make of one of Disney’s most BELOVED animated classics…featuring MEL GIBSON reprising his role as John Smith, 15 years later!

SMITH: Is that what you say to all the English settlers? DRESSED LIKE THAT?!

(SMACKS HER!)

POCAHONTAS: UGGGH!

V/O: It’s POCAHONTAS: MELTDOWN REDUX!

SMITH: Get up! You look like a pig in heat!

V/O: We put the MEL in MELTDOWN!

SMITH: Are those breasts real? You have foreign bodies in you, don’t you? Take them out…you look STUPID! You look like some Vegas *****!

POCAHONTAS: John, PLEASE! I thought you were one of the good ones? I thought you understood our culture?

SMITH: Look at how you’re dressed, with all those provocative, exotic feathers in your headband, and those sequins! If you go out in the New World looking like that, you’re gonna get raped by pack of n*ggers! And it’ll be YOUR-FAULT!

(SMACKS HER!)

POCAHONTAS: No John, stop! Please, I beg you!

SMITH: Are you recording this? HUH?! ANSWER ME YOU C*NT! Are you recording this for your Jewish masters?

(SMACKS HER!)

V/O: Coming soon to theatres…POCAHONTAS: MELTDOWN REDUX!

SMITH: I’m gonna come over there and BURN YOUR F*CKING TEE-PEE DOWN! But you will blow me first.

V/O: Also featuring CHRISTIAN BALE reprising his role as THOMAS!

(CUTTO: THOMAS aiming his gun into the wilderness)

THOMAS: Don’t F*CKING walk in front of me when I’m trying to do this, man! I swear to God! No! NO! NO! I don’t need no f*cking five minutes, let’s shoot the f*cking scene already. Me and you are DONE professionally, man.

V/O: Coming in the fall.

(FADEOUT)
 
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LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
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Messages
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Points
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Age
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Location
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ix. Words make war

(FADEIN: BRIAN OBERSTARR standing in the center of the run, microphone in hand, next to a man who towers over him at 6’7- MAGNUS DESTRUCTO)

OBERSTARR: I’m here with the WINNER of the King of All Monsters Grand Prix, and the winner in record time tonight- MAGNUS DESTRUCTO. Magnus, congratulations on your…

(Oberstarr is interrupted by dueling chants of “MAG-NUS!” (clap clap) “IM-PULSE” (clap clap). Magnus turns from the mic and throws his arms up to his supporters)

OBERSTARR: (takes a moment to compose himself) As fate should have it, the two most popular wrestlers in NLW will meet at Eye for an Eye to decide the FIRST EVER World Open Weight Champion. This match has split the crowd into two factions, Magnus. And if I could bring out the leader of the OTHER HALF right now, I’d like to call to the ring the 2010 GOLDEN BOY Grand Prix winner! Impulse, would you please meet me in the ring?

(HUGE POP!)

(CUEUP: “Revolution Baby” by Queen V)

(CUTTO: Entrance curtains. Red and white lights flashing all around. We wait…then wait some more. Still waiting on Impulse…the crowd is worked into a fever pitch. Crowd chant of “IM-PULSE! IM-PULSE!” begins. Finally, someone walks through the curtains! AND IT’S…RA PALAZZO? Crowd immediately boos out of sheer disappointment. The NLW President, Palazzo, steps through the ropes and takes the mic from Oberstarr. Music stops)

PALAZZO: Hey guys, what’s happening? Listen…

(CROWD: “WE WANT IM-PULSE!” clap clap clap-clap-clap)

PALAZZO: I know you want Impulse, and believe me, I want him out here too. Unfortunately, Randall Knox, the man you know as Impulse, has sustained a sustained a serious injury to his vertebrae and is rehabbing as we speak.

(LOUD BOOS!)

PALAZZO: Guys, believe me, nobody’s more pissed about this than me. Impulse has other commitments, and his schedule is pretty brutal. Eventually, he was going to run into some injury problems. If it were up to me, he’d be with us full-time, but it doesn’t work that way. Does this mean he won’t be there for the pay-per-view? As a friend, I told him I’d find him a replacement, but you know what he said?

F[BLEEP]K NO!

(CROWD: “YEAAAAAAAHHHHH!”)

PALAZZO: He knows how much this match means to you guys, and it means a lot to him too. So despite his injuries, he WILL be there at Eye for an Eye to take on this behemoth right here, and you’ll GET your money’s worth. However, Impulse won’t be here TONIGHT, and for that I apologi-(Magnus rips the mic from him)

MAGNUS: WHAT COWARDLY POMPOSITY IS THIS?! THE INSIGNIFICANT FLEA THAT IS IMPULSE ISN'T MAN ENOUGH TO STAND FACE TO FACE WITH THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS?!

(Dueling Impulse/Magnus chants begin to ring through the crowd again. For a moment the Impulse chants begin to win out, and Destructo's eyes flutter briefly into the seats, and his booming voice almost immediately drowns them out)

MAGNUS: SILENCE, YOU WORTHLESS RAT-DICKS!! YOU FOLLOWERS OF A WEAK AND WORTHLESS COWARD THAT YOU SO ADORINGLY CALL YOUR GOLDEN CHILD!

(“Impulse” chants grow louder)

MAGNUS: AND WHERE IS YOUR DAMNED GOLDEN CHILD?! WHERE IS THE CHILD THAT THE DREADED DEVOURER HAS COME TO EAT!?

PALAZZO: He’s in the hospital with a concussion and a side of C2 vertebrae fracture. And that’s a meal not even you could choke down, Magnus. But to make up for it, I’ve added a little stipulation to two of tonight’s matches. The winners of Zesty Mordant versus Yutaka Maeda, and Eddie Patton vs. Vic Gravender, will meet at Eye for an Eye in a NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS BOUT to determine who gets the first shot at either your or Impulse’s brand new World Open Weight Title! So sit tight, be cool, ‘cause you’re gonna get your shot, and when we get to the pay-per-view, I expect you to be at your best and give these people the greatest show they’ve ever seen!

(POP!)

(Destructo's SNARL becomes a torturous grin.)

MAGNUS: ...I'LL TELL YOU WHERE THAT MAGGOT IS!! HE'S AT HOME... HIDING UNDER HIS BED... FOLDING HIS HANDS TOGETHER AND PRAYING TO HIS WEAK AND NONEXISTANT GOD TO SAVE HIM FROM THE INEVITABLE MASSACRE THAT AWAITS HIM!!

(POP! The Magnus fans are UP and making themselves heard!)

MAGNUS: YOU CAN HIDE FROM ME NOW, YOU PATHETIC LITTLE FLY... BUT THE BARON OF BRUTALITY WILL GETS HIS HANDS ON YOU ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, COME THE FEAST OF ‘EYE FOR AN EYE’!!!!

(CUEUP: “Conquer All” by Behemoth)

(Magnus THRUSTS the mic back into Oberstarr hard enough that it nearly knocks him over, then does victorious double fist pumps as though all that clout and clamor was his career highlight. The crowd breaks out in "MAG-NUS! MAG-NUS!” chants, as RA and Oberstarr leave the ring)

(CUTTO: STATIC)
 

LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
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x. Bottle service

(CUTTO: Stumbling out of the entranceway is ZESTY MORDANT, as “Everything Goes to Hell” by Tom Waits plays over the loudspeaker. He’s got a liquor bottle in each hand- one is Wild Turkey, the other is Beef Eater. He starts marrying the liquor into each bottle as he says to the camera, “Gonna make me a little mixy mix!” only to trip over his own feet, stumbling backwards and onto his ass, spilling liquor on his tattered button down shirt)

MYLDE: Who is this clown?

OBERSTARR: You’ve seen him here before, Jimmy. That’s Zesty Mordant, with a chance tonight to earn his way into the number one contender’s match at Eye for an Eye.

MYLDE: Jeez, you think he has enough alcohol there? Doesn’t he know I’m a recovering addict? This is hard for me to watch. I might need to call my sponsor soon.

OBERSTARR: And who might that be?

MYLDE: Well it just so happens to be Strawberry B!TCH, and unfortunately I just got a new cell phone and lost her number. You wouldn’t happen to have it on you?

OBERSTARR: I’m not giving out her number, Jimmy. If she’s your sponor, you can ask her yourself.

MYLDE: Come on Oberstarr, I have a problem! You wouldn’t want old Uncle Jimmy to relapse now, would ya?

(CUEUP: “Wild Thing” by The Troggs)

(Crowd begins to boo as YUTAKA MAEDA makes his way out. The bleached blonde Tokyo native stalks through the entranceway in black boots and a black vest, shooting hard glances at the American fans he despises so much)

SIREN: AND HIS OPPONENT! He stands six foot five, two HUNDRED and EIGHT POUNDS! From TOKYO…JAPAN! YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

(Boos grow louder as Maeda steps into the ring, seemingly on edge. Zesty picks himself up from the corner and takes a last swig from each bottle before dropping them in the ring)

(SFX: Bell rings)

OBERSTARR: Fantastic match we have here between two big men, both roughly equal in size. Zesty, the six foot four, 283 pound bruiser from Nova Scotia. Maeda, six foot five, 280 pounds from Tokyo, Japan. They love to brawl, they’re both unorthodox, and the winner will have his shot at the number one contendership live on pay-per-view!

MYLDE: Both these guys need to step their game up if they hope to have a prayer against either Impulse or Magnus.

OBERSTARR: They lock up, and immediately Zesty falls to his knees! What is going on?

MYLDE: He’s sloshed, Oberstarr. Completely sloshed.

OBERSTARR: Maeda throws up his arms and mocks him for being inebriated!

(Maeda uses his boot to shove the forehead of Zesty)

OBERSTARR: Has Zesty drunken himself into a stupor? This never seemed to be an issue before. HOLD ON! ZESTY’S GOT MAEDA BY THE LEGS! HE’S LIFTING HIM UP!

MYLDE: Who knew he had the brain cells to play mind games?

(CROWD: OOOOOH!)

OBERSTARR: HE JUST DUMPED MAEDA OVER THE TOP ROPE! That’s almost three hundred pounds crashing to the floor! Zesty’s off the ropes now- what’s he gonna do?

MYLDE: Oh man. OH MAN!

(Zesty makes the sloppiest fat-man dive you’ve ever seen through the ring ropes, right at Maeda. It looked pitiful, like someone might’ve seriously gotten hurt doing it)

OBERSTARR: UNBELIEVABLE! Zesty’s pulling out all the stops, and we’re only a few seconds in!

MYLDE: Two hundred and eighty pounds of Canadian lunch meat was not meant to fly through the ropes like that.

OBERSTARR: Zesty takes Maeda’s head and goes to slam it into the guard rail, but is blocked! Maeda slams ZESTY into the railing! And again! Zesty turns away, and he might be split open now. Double axehandle smash to the back of Zesty Mordant! Maeda’s energized, and he’s PISSED! Here we go, Irish whip into the rail!

MYLDE: Maeda’s like one of those Kamikaze pilots the Japanese hopped up on PCP before sending after us in W-W-2! Except this time they’re attacking Canada.

OBERSTARR: BIG elbow from Maeda! HEADBUTT! He won’t relent! Irish whip into the other side of the railing- NO! REVERSED! Zesty follows up with a VICIOUS running knee to the sternum of Yutaka Maeda!

(CROWD: “YOU-AIN’T-SH*T! YOU-AIN’T-SH*T!”)

OBERSTARR: This crowd giving Maeda their EXACT opinion of him. Zesty has him set up now. If he hits this, it could be the beginning of the end for Maeda! PILEDRIVER! HE SPIKED HIM ON CONCRETE, JIMMY!

MYLDE: I think that helmet made of blonde hair might have protected him.

OBERSTARR: Zesty rolls Maeda back into the ring. He hooks the leg! COULD THIS BE ALL?! TWOOOOO! THR-NO! Maeda’s out, just in the nick of time! Right away Zesty grabs that bottle of Wild Turkey- I guess he needed a swig?

MYLDE: This guy thinks he’s a drunken Kung Fu master or something. The bourbon is his source of power!

OBERSTARR: Maeda rolled himself to the outside, and now it seems he’s back on his feet and looking around for something. Looks like he’s grabbing…yes, he’s grabbing a chair. And things may be getting ugly here- Zesty sees him and readies his bottle, meanwhile it’s all pouring out from the end.

MYLDE: Great, the ring’s gonna stink like bourbon all night. Thanks a bunch, YOU BUM!

OBERSTARR: Both men in the ring, weapons in hand, and it looks like an Old West standoff here! They’re circling each other, waiting for the other to make a move. Zesty’s got that bottle raised, ready to throw! Maeda’s got the chair cocked back! ZESTY TOSSES THE BOTTLE! (SFX: CLANG!) MAEDA SWINGS AND BELTS THE BOTTLE RIGHT BACK AT HIM! IT WENT RICOCHETED OFF ZESTY’S SHOULDER, AND NOW HE FALLS TO THE GROUND!

MYLDE: That’s what they say about those Japs- sound baseball fundamentals.

OBERSTARR: Zesty quickly recovers the other bottle, and Maeda holds his ground! Zesty’s shoulder must be in EXCRUCIATING pain! ZESTY THROWS THE OTHER BOTTLE! (SFX: CLANG!) MAEDA BELTS IT RIGHT INTO HIS STOMACH! ZESTY TO HIS KNEES! (SFX: THWACK!) CHAIRSHOT TO THE BACK! Zesty grabs a hold of Maeda’s leg, and charges him into the corner! Maeda’s pummeling him, trying to break the hold!

MYLDE: This is a desperate move by Zesty- he may be finished!

OBERSTARR: Zesty circles and whips Maeda to the ground with that single-leg! (Crowd cheers!) HE’S GOT THE CHAIR! Maeda to his feet!

(SFX: THWACK!)

OBERSTARR: MAEDA TAKES ONE TO THE HEAD! His feet buckle, but he’s still standing!

(SFX: THWACK!)

OBERSTARR: ANOTHER ONE! BLOOD’S LEAKING DOWN HIS HEAD! BUT MAEDA STAYS UP!

(SFX: THWACK!)

MYLDE: Christ almighty, what’s his head made out of? Bionic steel?

OBERSTARR: Maeda’s on one knee! His face is a crimson mask, but he’s screaming at Zesty for more! Zesty obliges!

(SFX: THWACK!)

OBERSTARR: HE’S-STILL-STANDING! MAEDA’S, HALF-CONSCIOUS, AND NOW HE’S FLIPPING OFF THE CROWD AND ZESTY! ZESTY WITH A BIG WIND UP!

(SFX: THWACK!)

OBERSTARR: DOWN GOES MAEDA! DOWN GOES MAEDA! THE COVER! (Crowd counts along) ONE! TWO! THREE!

(SFX: Bell rings)

(CUEUP: “Everything Goes to Hell” by Tom Waits)

SIREN: THE WINNER OF THE MATCH! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZESTY! M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-MOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRDAAAAAAAAANT!

OBERSTARR: It was ugly, it was brutal, it was SICK! But it was effective, and now Zesty Mordant heads to the pay-per-view with a win over Maeda and a chance to become the number one contender for the NLW World Open Weight Title!

MYLDE: Maeda’s gotta learn that having a giant set of brass balls will only carry you so far in life. Somewhere along the line, you’ve got to WIN. I mean hey, it’s nice that you can take five chairshots to the head, but your only consolation prize is brain damage, maybe a concussion.

OBERSTARR: More on the way. Don’t change that channel! It’s VULGAR!

(CUTTO: STATIC)
 

LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
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Age
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xi. He’ll have his turn again

(CUTTO: BOBBY JACK WINDHAM walks out from the locker room – black/red amateur-style head gear with interlocking TT Texas Tech logo, blackout under his eye with “CORINTHIANS 4:11” written in white, a black/red Texas Tech singlet, black/red boots and black/red elbow and kneepads. He also has a microphone in hand as he stands near the top of the ramp.)

BOBBY JACK: Why, God, why? That’s the question have been forced t’ASK these long weeks. Because the last time I stepped foot in this arena… I… (he looks down, shaking his head)… I WAS BEAT. I was handed a pinfall loss at the hands of some NONAME by the name of Eddie Patton. Me – a member of the most famous family in professional wrestling. Me – a two-time Lubbock Avalanche-Journal West Texas Athlete of the Year. Me – a man who lost ONCE in four years of collegiate wrestling and won numerous Big 12 and NCAA championships.
This loss… came… this loss came despite me testifyin’ to Christ… to PREACHING the Good Book. To using my God-given athletic talents and my God-given superior intellect to serve as a role model to the folks in this arena and at home who NEED someone such as me in my life. And it made me ask… why… And the only way to do it… is through the call of PRAYER.

(Bobby Jack gets on his knees at the top of the ramp and bows his head as the crowd boos.)

BOBBY JACK: Dear God and Christ… I ask you one more time… to provide me with the answer… to the question of WHY I was struck down with a humbling loss to inferior competition. Of WHY you punished a man who has devoted his life to you… a man who has devoted his life to spreading the word of The Gospel… a man who has preached against the sins of homosexuality and liberal politics while also making sure he is virtuous … God… I have not heard your answer yet… Are you there, God? It’s me… Bobby Jack Windham…

(Bobby Jack stays on his knees, nodding his head, and then he starts to tremble and then excitedly gets up to his feet.)

BOBBY JACK: DID YOU JUST HEAR HIS VOICE? DID YOU JUST HEAR THE VOICE OF CHRIST? (The crowd boos as Bobby Jack smirks.) Because I did… and I heard his message of why I was punished by suffering a loss at the hands of Eddie Patton. Because the pain I suffered from losing due to a referee’s fast and unjust count… is to be felt TENFOLD…

(Bobby Jack gets to his feet.)

BOBBY JACK: It’s to be felt TENFOLD… by YOU.

(Bobby Jack starts to walk towards the ring, slowly.)

BOBBY JACK: Because YOU ALL will fell this punishment… for your sins are many and plentiful. For YOU (he points to a teenager at ringside.) have taken me for granted. FOR YOU (he points to a retarded guy in a wheelchair) have not heeded my call for salvation! FOR YOU (he points to a fat woman munching on popcorn) have not known the joys of total surrender to God and Christ.

(Bobby Jack stops one more time.)

BOBBY JACK: What you endured the last time I stepped foot in this ring was the worst tragedy this city has seen since 9/11… in fact, some may say that it was an even BIGGER tragedy than that awful day when so many righteous Christians elsewhere in this country watched the sinners of this city burn. But today… today we will not endure tragedy. Today, we will PAY WITNESS… to a miracle.

(Bobby Jack turns to a woman at ringside. She’s your typical skanky female wrestling fan – big hair, chomping gum. Bobby Jack sees her, looks up to the sky, and nods. He then puts his hand on her forehead, which she tries to swap away.)

BOBBY JACK: Through my hand, ma’am, may you feel the power and enlightenment that only a life dedicated to Jesus Christ can bring you! For, ma’am, I am here in this promotion to be the one to CLEANSE you of your sins. For, ma’am, I can tell just by looking at and smelling you that you lead a life of promiscuity… a life of going to bars with cheap shot specials and going home with the first piece of street trash you see… a life of putting your scabby lips around a man’s organ in order to find the attention your father never gave you.. What you need, ma’am, is for me to TEACH you virtues by SHOWING you the path. Ma’am, I… I lead a virtuous life of promiscuity and abstinence. I know I could quell any and all sexual desires I may have with your right now, even if it is in public… (he takes his hand off her)… just as I could have my sexual way with any woman in this arena… but there is no way in hell I will lose my virginity to you… or to any other lady of the night who lives in this city… Not until, ma’am… not until you repent for your sins…

(Bobby Jack stares at her.)

BOBBY JACK: Which I demand you do right here in public. Right now. Get on your knees, right here, before the Lord, tell him of your whorish ways, ask for his forgiveness… and become SAVED.
(Bobby Jack stares at her.)

WOMAN: F*CK NO! I ain’t no whore!

(She throws a beer at him, which gets all over his face. Bobby Jack angrily wipes it from his face and then reaches over the guard rail in anger. The woman screams as she flinches back. Bobby Jack then smirks at her, points to her… and then kneels again. His head is bowed.)

BOBBY JACK: Why, God… why do you not allow me to save this woman in your name… for, God, if you let her COME to you… she will not be condemned with the HIV virus she will no doubt contract if she continues on this path of moral ineptitude and prostitution…

(The woman curses at Bobby Jack some more, throwing ice at him. Others join her, pelting him with sodas and beer. Bobby Jack kneels there in silence, keeping his head bowed. The boos cascade as he’s pelted with more garbage.)

BOBBY JACK: That’s okay… Jesus was persecuted, too…

(The boos grow louder as people take this as an invitation to throw even more garbage at him. Bobby Jack continues to kneel… and then finally he nods his head up and down and rises to his feet and starts to walk to the ring again.)

BOBBY JACK: The reason why God has not allowed me to perform a miracle tonight and to SAVE you… is because the pulpit I have been using is not nearly large enough. Despite being a member of the most famous family in professional wrestling… despite being, by far, the biggest superstar in this promotion… I have yet to have a main event match.

(Bobby Jack now climbs up the ring steps and is on the apron, facing the ramp. He points towards it.)

BOBBY JACK: Eddie Patton, Christ forced me to lose that match so we could have a REMATCH. And one that will HEADLINE the pay-per-view. But not just any kind of match, Eddie Patton. This match… will take place… in a 20-foot STEEL CAGE. There will be no distractions, Eddie Patton. There will be no excuses, Eddie Patton. There will just be you… and I… and Christ… and, in this match, Eddie Patton… surrounded by iron and steel… I will punish you into submission…

(Bobby Jack bows his head again and mumbles something and then looks up.)

BOBBY JACK: Because THESE people need to be punished into submission… and they will all submit to Christ the King… and I will be the one to SAVE them… Now, please bring me my next opponent…

(SFX: Bell rings)

(CUEUP: “Twist the Knife (Slowly)” by Napalm Death)

(CUTTO: Entrance curtains- out steps a metalhead looking dude with shoulder length brown hair, black ‘F Your System’ t-shirt, cutoff jean shorts, and combat boots. His legs have evil looking tattoos all over them)

SIREN: His opponent, FROMMMMMM QUEENS, NEW YORK CITY! He stands SIX FOOT ONE, and weighs in at TWO HUNDRED AND TWELVE POUNDS! PLEAAASE WELCOME! DEVLIIIIIINNNNN RAAAAAAANES!

(RANES has an intense look on his face as he high fives fans on his way to the ring)

OBERSTARR: OK, you heard it here- Bobby Jack Windham challenged Eddie Patton to a steel cage match moments ago. And if Eye for an Eye couldn’t get any bigger with the Open Weight title on the line, that one might steal the show! Alright, Ranes and Windham hook up, and WINDHAM…look at the power! Shoves him right on his back!

MYLDE: This a pumped, motivated Bobby Jack we’re seeing right now. Believe me, I’VE TALKED TO HIM, and losing to Patton in the Golden Boy Grand Prix has made him a better wrestler. His eyes are on the PRIZE Oberstarr!

OBERSTARR: It’s a shame the loss didn’t make him a better man. Windham into the corner with Devlin Ranes. OOH! Did you hear that shot? His chest is gonna have a mark after that one. And again! Another chop!

MYLDE: Better man? Haven’t you been listening to a word he’s said? Bobby Jack’s a man of God, he’s already as good a man as you’re gonna find. But what he WASN’T- was careful. He let Patton back into the game, and it cost him. Well, it ain’t gonna happen twice. The sun don’t shin on the same dog’s ass twice.

OBERSTARR: Windham, irish whips Ranes into the opposite turnbuckles. Catches him- LOOK OUT! Belly to bellt suplex! He just RAGDOLLED him over with that combination of power and wrestling ability.

MYLDE: He’s a real athlete, this one. Pure bred, born and raised in a household of wrestling LEGENDS.

OBERSTARR: Well that’s nice, Jimmy, but he’s still avenging a loss. And if he’s going to continue to underestimate his opponents…

MYLDE: What, you think he’s underestimating this bum right here?

OBERSTARR: Well I don’t know, maybe he is.

(Windham has Ranes in a scorpion deathlock)

MYLDE: So you think Ranes actually has a chance?

OBERSTARR: I don’t know, maybe he does!

MYLDE: See that kids? See what happens to your brain…when you put it on drugs…

OBERSTARR: Windham releases the deathlock, and now he’s got his arm in the air, calling for Sweetwater Dreams! This could be all! Windham with the Irish Whip, no he’s reversed! Ducks a clothesline from Ranes, FLYING SHOULDERBLOCK! And Ranes is back on the mat!

MYLDE: Not feeling so confident now, are you?

OBERSTARR: Windham again calling for it. Here we go…Irish Whip...THERE IT IS! SWEETWATER DREAMS, AND THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE! ONE! TWO! THREE! That VICIOUS clothesline from hell will put any man away, as Devlin Ranes lays there unconscious.

(SFX: Bell rings)

SIREN: HERE IS YOUR WINNNNNNNER! BOBBY! JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! WIIIIIIIIINDHAAAAAAAAMMMMM!

(CUEUP: “La Grange” by ZZ Top)

MYLDE: Take a good look, ‘cause that’s what Eddie Patton’s gonna look like live on pay-per-view in front of a hundred thousand people.

OBERSTARR: No doubt at all, Bobby Jack Windham is one of the up and coming stars in this sport, and it’s going to be something when he meets Eddie Patton for a THIRD TIME, this time in a steel cage, at Eye for an Eye. Back after this.

(FADEOUT)
 

LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
Jul 3, 1997
Messages
2,073
Points
36
Age
40
Location
The Silk Road
xii. Big Bob will get you there

(FADEIN: Big fat guy standing in front of a bunch of Hyundai cars)

BFG: HEY THERE New York City I’m Big Bob of Big Bob’s Hyundai in Queens and BOY…have we got a deal for you!

(CUTTO: BIG BOB next to a Hyundai Sonata)

BIG BOB: NO MONEY DOWN! That’s right oh my God did you just hear that NO MONEY DOWN! Well OK maybe a LITTLE money down and when I say a little money down I mean A LITTLE MONEY DOWN!

(CUTTO: BIG BOB in front of a white Hyndai Sonata)

BIG BOB: FIFTEEN DOLLARS! Fifteen dollars and a job, who doesn’t got that? And if you’ve got fifteen dollars and a job I’VE…got a Hyundai…Sonata…for…YOU!

(CUTTO: BIG BOB inside a Hyundai, driver’s side window rolled down)

BIG BOB: Look folks, I’m gonna be honest with you. I ain’t making SQUAT selling these cars at these prices. I just wanna get you into a sweet, sweet Hyundai at an affordable price. Is that so wrong?

(CUTTO: BIG BOB in a Jacuzzi, two skanky women on either side)

BIG BOB: Fifteen dollars and a job, and I don’t even care where you work! It could be McDonald’s, Sam’s deli, pizza shop, supermarket, selling oxies on the corner of Union and 115th, WHATEVER! If you can show income, I can show you a BEAUTIFUL Hyundai Sonata!

(CUTTO: BIG BOB in his office)

BIG BOB: OK, truth of the matter is this: RA Palazzo came to me, said “BOB we need another commercial. We need a commercial to stretch out the hour we got on TV,” and I said RA it’s no problem I’ll sell these Hyundai’s at an embarrassingly low price just to get you there, and because I love to see people happy, and Hyundais, BELIEVE ME, make people hap-(STATIC INTERFERENCE)

(CUTTO: Gigantic mythological winged creatures attacking a ship full of men)

V/O: JASON…and the Argonauts!

(STATIC INTERFERENCE)

(CUTTO: BIG BOB in front of his dealership)

BIG BOB: …when I get you there, and believe me folks, it’s gonna happen, I’M gonna get you there, when you come down HERE…and let me put YOU…in a brand new Hyundai TODAY!

(Number and address flashes on-screen)

(FADEOUT)
 

LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
Jul 3, 1997
Messages
2,073
Points
36
Age
40
Location
The Silk Road
xiii. Now you see us

(FADEIN: West 34th Street, NYC, right in front of the Manhattan Center. ZESTY MORDANT, bruised and beat up from his match earlier, clad in a tattered button down shirt, black track pants and a wide assortment of vomit and drink stains, staggers down the sidewalk to his apparent destination: the hard brick wall of a building)

ZESTY: Gadamat, Corey! Corey!

(The anorexic giraffe, COREY TREVOR, comes running to Zesty’s side)

COREY TREVOR: What is it, Zesty?

ZESTY: Huh? What’s what, Corey?

CT: What?

ZESTY: God, you’re shtupid.

(Zesty takes a flurry of steps, the sort that a drunk takes with his head leading the way and the rest of his body angled behind; ya know, the sort that doesn’t last long and he trips over himself, falling to the pavement)

ZESTY: Corey!

CT: Yeah, Zesty?

ZESTY: I won, right?

CT: I don’t know yet Zesty. I didn’t watch.

ZESTY: Fack. Help me up.

(Corey does so, with great effort. As they stand and plot their next move, Zesty spies a wheelbarrow in an alley across the street)

ZESTY: Corey, see that? The red thing there. Fetch!

(Corey nervously runs into the clogged city street- taxis, limos, and others vehicles beep at him and a couple narrowly miss ending his life on the spot. Eventually he makes it to the other side, grabs the wheelbarrow, and repeats his run across the street. One taxi actually tags him, but he gets back up and makes it to the side where Zesty awaits)

(CUTTO: Zesty in the wheelbarrow, ass firmly entrenched with arms and legs akimbo. Corey pushing with all his might)

ZESTY: Ya know, Corey, ssso fackin’ much depends onnn red wheelbarrowsh and things like rain and watering chickens. Like, uah, ya know I thinksh thish Chink isha chicken, a Chinken yaknoamean?

CT: No, Zesty. Am I going the right way?

(Camera gets a quick shot of Mordant’s face, staring directly up at the sky)

ZESTY: Looks good so far, bud.

(Just then Corey hits a crack in the pavement. The wheelbarrow spikes upwards and Corey runs face first into the back wheel as Zesty crashes out in a heap, splayed across the curb with his head into the street and legs dangling next to the now overturned wheelbarrow. Never down for very long, Zesty stumbles to his feet and finds a miraculously unharmed nip of Red Stag)

ZESTY: Corey, get up!

(He downs the nip)

ZESTY: Get up, Corey, I got a nip a Stag for ya.

(Corey doesn’t budge as Zesty finds the second nip, its top broken off and drinks down the whiskey, holding the broken little bottle above his mouth. He belches, spits out some shards of glass)

ZESTY: Good stuff.

(CUTTO: Front entrance to the Manhattan Center. There’s a small crowd of wrestling fans gathered in a semi-circle, a few of them smoking cigarettes. They have no idea that Zesty is coming straight at them, full speed)

ZESTY: FAAAAACK!

(He (accidentally?) releases the wheelbarrow, which now houses a still unconscious Corey Trevor and it crashes into the crowd, sending one or two bodies flying and the rest scattering to safety. Zesty shoves past anyone who hasn’t already cleared out until he’s just a few feet away from the door. Suddenly, he bumps into a man who seemingly came out of nowhere- CARLOS CANYETA)

CANYETA: Going somewhere, Zesty?

ZESTY: Soorry, bud, sh*t.

(He pulls a quarter out of his underwear and flips it to Canyeta, motions towards the overturned wheelbarrow)

ZESTY: Keep it close for me, eh? And see if you can find my Bastard costume, I got no fackin idea where it is. Maybe check the crapper, I donno. Got some smokes?

(ARCANGEL IV now appears in the shot, and start shoving Zesty HARD)

ARCANGEL: What the f[BLEEP]k you just say? You wanna get your teeth smashed tha F[BLEEP]K out? This ain’t no valet service, holmes. Now get your WHITE, RACIST, OPPRESIVE, stupid gringo American piece of sh[bleep]t face outta here before we crucify you, homie.

ZESTY: You can f[BLEEP]k right off with exampling me as an American, bud, I’m Canadian. But if you’re not gonna park my ‘barrow and find my Bastard I’m gonna need that twenty-five cent piece right the f[BLEEP]k back, pronto.

(Canyeta throws the quarter in Zesty’s face and immediately him and Angel start socking him in the head with punches, eventually getting Zesty to the ground. Zesty though, more powerful than the both of them, reverses Arcangel and gets on top of him. Before he can do much damage, Canyeta comes into the scene with a 2x4 and smacks it over Zesty’s back)

ARCANGEL: Thas’ right Carlos! End his f[BLEEP]king career! CHINGA A TU MADRE, MARICON!

CANYETA: (on top of Zesty, choking him with the wood plank) You go to your boss, and you tell him what I did to you. Got it, white rat? (spits in Zesty’s eyes)

ARCANGEL: YO YO! Get tha f[bleep]k outta here, holmes! We gotta move!

(Two NYPD officers come charging in as Canyeta and Angel make a run for it. Instead of chasing after them, the cops restrain Zesty and Corey Trevor)

COP#1: That’s it, that’s enough! Cuff these two idiots.

ZESTY: Whoa, hey wait, take her easy there fackin Turner and Hooch, I’m an innocent man here.

(Zesty stops to belch and massage his throat)

ZESTY (cont): I’m just tryin’ to get to work here, ya know. I got mouths to feed and clothes and roofs to put over things and this guy jumps me. He’s jumping my entire family here man. I’m wanting to push charges and things, sh*t just look at him, you know he’s guilty! With his black clothes like a robber and you know he’s Mexican, that can’t be good, no offense, it’s just human naturalities. Like Gypsies, you know they’re gonna steal something.

COP#2: I don’t give a sh[BLEEP]t who started it. You’re all disturbing the peace, now get the f[BLEEP]k outta the road- MOVE!

COP#1: Go back in there with the rest of the wrestling sideshow. And if we see any more of you idiots out here taking the show to the streets, we’re gonna take you in and book you.

(Zesty’s eyes enlarge with shock and fear as he looks down to his crotch before he lets out a big sigh and tracks his skull with his left hand, eventually finding marks they left on the back of his head)

ZESTY: Just another Friday night, officer. We’re leaving, thank you!

(CUTTO: STATIC)
 

LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
Jul 3, 1997
Messages
2,073
Points
36
Age
40
Location
The Silk Road
xiv. MAIN EVENT (One goes one way, one goes the other)

(CUTTO: The entrance way as “The Wall” by Heet Mob is playing. VIC GRAVENDER standing midway down the aisle giving the crowd a hard look as they jeer him. Gravender is wearing a black sleeveless shirt, black tights and ring boots, his hands wrapped in his mis-matched tape.)

SIREN: THE FOLLOWING…COOOONTEST…IS SET FOR ONNNNE FALL! ON HISSS WAY TO THE RING…*FROM* WATERTOWN…NEW…YORK…CITY!!!...WEIGHING IN AT FOUR HUNDRED…AND…FIIIIIFTY POUNDS…THE WATERTOWN WRECKING BALL…VIIIICCCCCC….GGGGGGGGGGRAVENDERRRRRRR!!!

OBERSTARR: Vic Gravender looking to get himself rolling and pick up a win here tonight over a man who really impressed a lot of people with his grit in the Golden Boy Grand Prix, fighting two matches in spite of the fact that he suffered a broken jaw after his round one victory over Bobby Jack Windham.

MYLDE: Well as great as it might have been, Patton is in for a beating tonight AND a beating if he has the nerve to take up Windham’s challenge for a match in a steel cage.

OBERSTARR: And of course, the winner here goes on to meet Zesty Mordant at Eye for an Eye to determine the number one contender for the World Open Weight Title.

(CUEUP: “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC. The crowd pops loud as Eddie Patton comes through the curtain. Patton wearing dark blue tights, with yellow lightning bolts on each leg, and blue ring boots with yellow lightning bolts on them as well.)

SIREN: AND…HISSSS OPPONENT…FROM GARY…INDIANA…WEIGHING IN AT TWWWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE POUNDS…EEEELETRIC…EDDIE…PATTON!!!

(Patton high fives the fans as he makes his way to the ring. A solid “ED-E! ED-E!” chant breaks out in the crowd.)

OBERSTARR: These fans really seem to have taken to Eddie Patton, we’ll see if Eddie is able to use his new found popularity to good effect in this match…

MYLDE: Nothing like having a bunch of unemployed losers rallying to your cause to fire you up…Fat load of good it’ll do him when he’s getting crushed by 450 pounds of wrecking ball…

(David Nolan calls for the bell and we’re under way!)

OBERSTARR: Patton circling and trying to avoid the much larger Gravender…Patton avoids a charge and catches Gravender with a series of right hands to the chin…Gravender stumbles into a corner and Patton quickly hops onto the second rope and (fans counting along!) connects with TEN STRAIGHT RIGHTS TO THE HEAD OF GRAVENDER! Patton whips Gravender out of the corner…Reversal by Gravender…Patton hits the corner…AVALANCHE BY GRAVENDER…PATTON OUT OF THE WAY!

MYLDE: He sure as hell needed to avoid that or he was gonna be smashed flat as a pancake by that giant monster.

OBERSTARR: Patton catches Gravender staggering out of the corner and sends him to the mat with a drop toe hold…Patton gets an armbar and turns it into a hammerlock, trying to keep the big man on the mat…

MYLDE: He’s not going to keep this guy down, that’s like fly trying to hold down a polar bear for crying out loud.

OBERSTARR: Well he’s making the big man use some energy to get back up…Gravender has been known to tire…Gravender does power his way quickly to his feet and catches Patton with an elbow and spins into him…PATTON CAUGHT IN THE BIG MAN’S GRASP…BELLY TO BELLY BY GRAVENDER!!

MYLDE: I think saying that turned the tide might win understatement of the year, the tides CHANGED on that move for crying out loud! We might have a monsoon hitting the coast.

OBERSTARR: Patton rolls to the floor trying to get himself some distance from Gravender...Gravender follows him to the outside and picks him up…DRIVES Patton’s lower back into the apron…AND AGAIN…Gravender now hooks him…HUGE BIEL THROW ON THE FLOOR!! PATTON SPLATTERING ON THE CEMENT!! Gravender back into the ring now and he tells Nolan to give Patton the ten count and get this thing over with!

MYLDE: Might take him a day and a half to get back into the ring…He’s being mauled by Gravender...

OBERSTARR: Nolan up to 5 on the count (Six!)…Patton trying to get to his feet, (Seven!) he’s staggering towards the ring (Eight!) PATTON BEATS THE COUNT! (Cheers!) Gravender rushes over…Drops an elbow…PATTON MOVES…Gravender and Patton both scramble to their feet…Patton with a dropkick! Gravender staggers…ANOTHER DROPKICK! Gravender trying to stay on his feet…THIRD DROPKICK IS THE CHARM! Gravender hits the mat like a ton of bricks! Patton to the outside…He’s up top…PATTON WITH AN ELBOW OFF THE TOP ROPE! RIGHT INTO THE CHEST OF THE WATER CITY WRECKING BALL…(One!) PATTON WITH A COVER!! (Two!) A BIG WIN FOR PATTON…NO!

MYLDE: He’s gonna need a bit more than that to keep this monster down…Gravender might look like a blob of guts, but he’s not a wimp.

OBERSTARR: Patton abandoning his technical wrestling for a more strike based offense as he stomps away at Gravender, trying to just beat the big man down…You know Patton wants that chance to fight Zesty and be the #1 contender to the NLW Open Weight Championship… Gravender getting back to his feet…GETS NAILED BY A DROPKICK TO THE KNEE! Patton now viciously kicking the leg of Gravender trying to chop the big man down…

MYLDE: Sure thing kid, good luck trying to damage those tree trunks Gravender calls legs.

OBERSTARR: Patton drops Gravender to his knees…Patton jumps on his back and gets a SLEEPER! Gravender trapped in the middle of the ring...It doesn’t matter how big you are, you don’t have blood going to your brain you go to sleep!

MYLDE: Well it does matter how big you are if you can carry the other guy around like he was a child…Which is what Gravender is doing now!

OBERSTARR: Gravender has Patton on his back…He’s got Patton’s legs hooked….FALLS BACK AND CRUSHES PATTON!! Gravender just lays on him for a cover (One!) He doesn’t have any weight (Two!) On the shoulders and Patton escapes! (Cheer!)

MYLDE: Well he might not have needed to get a real cover there, as all the wind was knocked out of Patton…He didn’t know where he was.

OBERSTARR: Gravender slowly gets himself back to his feet and grabs Patton…Patton lifted up…HERE COMES A SAMOAN DROP…BIGTIME IMPACT!!

MYLDE: Gravender might not be the prettiest of wrestlers but he knows that being a lard ass and falling on you repeatedly will be effective…

OBERSTARR: Gravender now puts the boots to Patton…Picks him up and SLAMS him in the center of the ring…Gravender now coming off the ropes…BOOM SPLASH!! NO!! PATTON MOVED!! Patton saved the match there!

MYLDE: Match?! He saved his life! Vic was going to crush him into a pulp!

OBERSTARR: Gravender trying to get to his feet…Patton catches him with a clothesline…Gravender staggers…Patton off the ropes with another clothesline…Gravender staggering backwards…Another clothesline and Gravender through the ropes to the floor! Gravender trying to get back up…PATTON WITH A SLINGSHOT SPLASH OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR ONTO GRAVENDER! Both men crashing to the ground…Patton continues to fire the right hands to the head of Gravender, giving the big man a beating on the outside.

MYLDE: Patton might be getting an edge here, but he has to know he can’t let this end in a draw, he has to think about that #1 contender’s match…Of course he’s too busy trying to impress the fans by finding new and inventive ways to kill himself…

OBERSTARR: Patton back into the ring, waving Gravender back into the ring…Gravender slowly pulls himself up…He gets back into the ring to beat the count…Patton catches the dazed Gravender coming back in and hits him with rights and lefts…Patton sends Gravender into the ropes…Gravender with a reversal…Patton ducks a clothesline, comes back…FLYING HEAD-SCISSORS TAKEDOWN!! He got the big man over! Patton with (One!) a cover! (Two!) Two annnnd…NO! Gravender gets out just in time…Patton still pressing the attack…Patton drops a leg on Gravender and now he’s going back to the outside…Patton going up top once more…PATTON WITH A FROG SPLASH…GRAVENDER OUT OF THE WAY!!!

MYLDE: That’s what happens when you gotta risk so much on every move, sooner or later it catches up to you, and Patton just crashed and burned!

OBERSTARR: Patton and Gravender down on the mat…Gravender getting to his feet…Now just STRANGLING Patton on the second rope…David Nolan now backing Gravender off…WAIT A MINUTE!! THAT’S BOBBY JACK WINDHAM!!! HE JUST CAME OUT OF THE CROWD!! HE HAS THE RING BELL!!! (Loud booing!) WINDHAM JUST CRACKED PATTON WITH THE RING BELL RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!

MYLDE: He should have aimed for his jaw!

OBERSTARR: You’re sick Jimmy…Patton’s out of it…The ref didn’t see any of that…Gravender pulls Patton to the middle of the ring…Oh you have to be kidding…BOOM SPLASH…There’s no call for this…Patton is out…(One!) Gravender with a cover…(Two!) He should be REALLY Proud of this (Three!) win…and now it’s going to be VIC GRAVENDER meeting Zesty Mordant at the pay-per-view in a number one contender’s bout!

(Bell rings, “The Wall” by Heet Mob plays as the crowd chants”Bullsh*t!”)

SIREN: HERE IS YOUR WINNNERR!!! VIIIIIICCCCCCC!!!! GRAV!!!!! ENNNNN!!!! DEEERRRR!!!!

(The crowd continues to jeer as Gravender celebrates his ill gotten win.)

OBERSTARR: Well I hope Vic Gravender can live with himself and the way he’s won this match…And I really hope Eddie Patton takes up Bobby Jack Windom on his offer of a steel cage match, because Windham needs a beating in the worst possible way!

MYLDE: And it won’t be this kid to give it to him…Windham’s a cut above these bingo hall rejects…Patton needs to learn to respect his betters!

OBERSTARR: And like it or not, Vic Gravender has earned himself a chance to fight for the right to be the #1 contender to the NLW Open Weight Championship…but tonight leaves us with more questions than answers. Will Patton meet Windham in a steel cage? How hurt is Impulse, and can he perform at a high level against Magnus at the Eye for an Eye? What of Canyeta and Arcangel- what will be Palazzo’s response to the acts committed tonight? Stay tuned for the after hours show with Strawberry, where the owner of NLW himself will answer many of these questions and more! But for now…WE’RE OUT OF TIME! For Jimmy Mylde, I’m Brian Oberstarr...WE’LL SEE YOU IN HARTFORD! IT’S ‘EYE FOR AN EYE’, THIS MONTH!

(FADEOUT)

Copyright: 2010 ESEN/All rights reserved
 
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