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Greenie's Draft Analysis

The Great Eye

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(FADEIN: Green Machine in a blue suit jacket, white shirt and blue/white striped tie looking into the camera, his hair is done up in an absurd manner like Mel Kiper Jr.'s)

GREENIE: Round 1 of the fantast draft is in the books, how do I see things?! Well I'm glad you asked.


1. Astral Wrestling Alliance (Nova, Hyperspace Kid) - "The Wolf" Mike Randalls


GREENIE: Solid pick, Randalls is a legend in this industry, clearly one of the all time greats, you can't go wrong with Randalls here, a great grab hy AWA.



2. J.A.M.F. (TSiegel, The Dangle Bros.) - "Queen of the Ring" Lindsay Troy

GREENIE: A reach here I think at 2, there's so many great talents in the history in this sport, while I know Troy may be historic for her success as a woman in a man's game, but I'm not feeling it, you got the whole history of this industry to reach into, and I'm not feeling Troy as #2.

3. Porkchop Sandwiches Wrestling (J_A, Cheezburger Cat) - "The Ego Buster" Dan Ryan


GREENIE: PSW takes the Ego Buster and who can blame them? All around legend in the industry, won everything there is to win, founder of EPW, more of an impact on this sport then just about anybody.


4. UWL:WCFW (WestPREZ, The Great Kabuki) - "The Epitomé" Troy Windham


GREENIE: Another solid pick, Troy Windham is clearly one of the ultra elite of this business, you do yourself a huge favor taking him.


5. Ultra-Leftist Wrestling (The Great Eye, Whale Wars Capt.) - Joe the Plumber

GREENIE: The hottest man on the market today, a more 'recent' pick if you will, but I'm still liking it.


6. Willow Palin Wrestling (LQJT86C, Willow Palin) - "The EagleSTAR" Nova


Nova is a huge huge star in this business. Getting him at 6 is a bit of a steal. I'm loving WPW's opening move.

7. Oliver Copp Championship Wrestling (fugginVOSS, TNM7) - Dos Equis


GREENIE: I have to be honest, I had Dos Equis rated way lower then this, this is a stunner, a real reach if you ask me.


8. Pro Wrestling ZOMBIE (CuseTroy, "Mitch") - Hornet

GREENIE: And this is what I mean, look at this, the man who defines CSWA, which some would argue, defines this industry, and he's gift wrapped at 8 to PWZ...Amazing.

9. Jesus Fighting Championship (ShawnHartXXX, Chip Christ) - Michael Manson


GREENIE: And clearing out the first round is another excellent pick, Manson owned just about every league he was in and is a clear first round pick. Big ups to JFC for getting this guy 9th.

Stay tuned for continuing coverage of each and every round, cause this is the time of year I live for!

(FADEOUT)
 

TH

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Re: Draft Discussion

[FADE IN: Jericoholic Anonymous wearing a t-shirt that says "I BEG TO DIFFER" on it at the TEAM desks in West Chester, PA.]

JA: Lindsay Troy, a reach at #2? Get back on your rocker, Greenie, because you just fell off it with that statement. Let's forget gender for a second, mkay? A wrestler who was the driving force behind the biggest swerve of the last five years, if not of all-time, who held the Ee-Pee-Dubya World Championship, the PRIME Universal Championship and the TEAM Championship of Championships for varying lengths of time and with dominance, who peforms at an elite level wherever that wrestler goes and who struck gold in two different wrestling circuits, two circuits that are about as different as my promo style and the style of one Promo Bot 2000, is a reach? Man or woman, those are upper first-round credentials any day.

Lindz didn't get a pass because there ain't a low-hanging apparatus between her legs. She earned what she earned through hard work, and she's done stuff that most men can't achieve having to overcome the stigma that girls can't play with boys in this business. Don't give me reach. Lindz belongs.

Although, I do have to say that Cheezburger Cat made a fine selection at number three. Yes, yes he did.

[Fadeout]
 

The Great Eye

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(FADEIN: Greenie sitting back at the studio.)

10. JFC - "Superstar" Vince Jacobs

GREENIE: I don't have this guy listed, I really don't know who he is...I'd like to think I know this stuff, but I'm clearly stumped here, a good amount of the crowd cheered this pick...I'm confused...

11. PWZ - Dennis Edward Mayfield


A man who makes playing a DS a giant furnace of heat, clearly a solid selection, Mayfield has value, big value.



12. OCCW - Shawn Jessica Bubbles Hart, PhD


This is a weird choice, on the one hand Hart's done so much in this business somebody's got to take him, on the other hand, I just think there's more productive people out there then Hart...It's a pick that can lead to a lot of debate I think.


13. WPW - Shane Southern

A big time face who was a big time heel at the end, Shane Southern is iconic...You can't go wrong with him and clearly WPW didn't.


14. ULW - "Triple X" Sean Stevens

Stevens has been a break out star over the last 2 years in EPW, again, this is a more recent pick then historic...It's a roll of the dice in some ways...


15. UWL:WCFW - Felix Red

Felix is huge over, and I feel like what happens in WFW will show us where this pick really ends up being, as Felix has another chance to run with the ball as World Champ in a company with a solid roster.

16. PSW - "Total Elimination" Eli Flair


Eli Flair pretty much owns the world and we're all just paying rent, he's done just about all you can do, so PSW, you nailed this pick...Good on you...

17. JAMF - "Hurricane" Eddy Love

CSWA mega star Eddy Love, a great pick up at 17. JAMF with a keen eye on this one.


18. AWA - Lowell Dot Com



Lowell Dot Com brings the value and end to round 2...A solid selection by AWA to get us into round 3, I still have a few sleepers on my big board and we'll see who's able to find the buried treasure as we get into the later rounds.

(FADEOUT)
 

TH

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[FADE IN: Jericoholic Anonymous wearing a t-shirt that says "AGREEING ISN'T AS FUN AS DISAGREEING IS" on it at the TEAM desks in West Chester, PA.]

JA: ...Yeah, I got nothin'.

[Fadeout]
 

TH

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[FADE IN: Jericoholic Anonymous wearing a t-shirt that says "Willow Palin Wrestling RULZ!!!1" on it at the TEAM desks in West Chester, PA]

JA: Now, I know this would be the time to start showing my biases, because I'm good friends with Big Dog and Marcus... well you know my feelings on him. I should be happy that Paul was the first Aye-One-Ee lifer taken, right? Well, I am happy for him, but since I have to pretend to be a journalist in this seat, I'm a bit baffled as to why he was selected over the big Furball.

Despite my issues with him, there's no denying that Beast rose to huge heights in two feds, whereas Paul did in just one. It's not like Marcus was a slouch in Ee-Pee-Dubya.

But it's all irrelevant because Willow Palin Wrestling wins the draft. Kudos to you, Dave. I'll never watch Conan again.

[FADEOUT]
 

The Great Eye

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(Back at Draft Central with Greenie)

19. AWA - "Cocky" Craig Miles


He's big time player with a huge impact on this sport, getting Miles in the third round is a steal in my book.

20. JAMF - "The Lost Soul" Mark Windham

You go Windham you can't go wrong, another solid selection.

21. PSW - Joey Melton


Some say he hung around to long, I say he left us to soon, get back here Joey Melton! Another great pick.

22. UWL:WCFW - "The Strongest Arms in the World" GUNS


Leader of the jWo, brought the controversy and the big crowds wherever he went, GUNS continues what is a star studded and amazing third round.

23. ULW - Big Dog

The man who saved A1E and is pretty much the man in that company, Big Dog is a huge score here.

24. WPW - Doc Silver

Do I need to comment?

25. OCCW - Sonny Silver

About the only pick I have a problem with this whole round, I can't say as I know Sonny Silver, heard legends, but never saw anything.


26. PWZ - "The Mecca" Marcus Westcott/Beast

Call him whatever you like, he's been big time everywhere he goes, and he's got his shot at the next EPW PPV to become the 2nd man to hold the EPW World Title twice.

27. JCF - Yori Yakamo, Jr.

Yori is insanity incarnate and the masses loved every second of his dildo wielding craziness. A great pick to finish off a round of blue chippers.
 

The Great Eye

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(FADEIN: Green Machine in the studio, he doesn't know he's on air. He's in mid conversation with somebody talking to him through his ear piece.)

GREENIE: What? You want round 4? I thought you had other people to cover these rounds, I dunno enough about this crap to keep going, my contract said only the first three...What's that? How much money if I stay through the tag rounds? OK I can do that, but I'm done after that, you hear me?!

28. JFC - Ice Tre

One of the most over men in EPW, perhaps ever, a nice grab to kick off round 4.


29. PWZ - "The Inhuman Being" Tchu


I've never heard of him, but his nickname and real name sound like something from Lovecraft, so I assume he's scary and good.


30. OCCW - "The Pulp Hero" Alias

Alias is good times, and more importantly, I knew about him, so I can rate this pick as being solid, instead of having to make references to Lovecraft.

31. WPW - "The Anglo Luchador" Jericoholic Anonymous


A1E champ, EPW champ, a track record of success, JA is clearly an excellent addition to the WPW roster.

32. ULW - "The God of War" Ares

Ares may be remembered by many as Michael Manson's sidekick, but I prefer to remember him as the guy that killed Tyr, and allowed the jWo to thusly make Bogus Undead-Tyr, for that I salute you Ares.

33. UWL:WCFW - "The Juggernaut" Kodiak Vic Creed

Creed's somebody I always here about but I've never seen a match of his, I'll take everyone else's word and say this was a good selection.

34. PSW - "The Neighborhood Lunatic" High Flyer

High Flyer has dominated in other places and is now upping his game in NFW. Clearly PSW has an eye for talent.

35. JAMF - Cardigo Mysterian

An old school selection...I'm down with Mysterian.

36. AWA - Garbage Bag Johnny

A lot of war-rooms were grumbling and complaining when this guy came off the board, bad move waiting till round 5 for GBJ guys.

I'll get to round 5 after this break (Pauses...Thinks he's off air)

I want this in cash, you hear me? I ain't taking a check for this.

(FADEOUT)
 

The Great Eye

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(FADEIN: Greenie, drinking from a shot glass. There are 6 such empty shot glasses on the desk.)

GREENIE: I can't believe this is still going on...And I'm not sure...I think somebody's putting vodka in my Red Bulls...I'm feeling kinda punchy really..

37. AWA - "The Life of the Mind" Rook Black

He's supposed to be great...Yeah, he's Rook Black...OOOOOHHHH He's so mysterious and emo...Whatever dude...Last night I ate a spicy chicken sandwich to see if I could feel anymore.


38. JAMF - Copycat


Copycat...There's an orginal name...BWAHAHAHAHAHA....Oh geez, I'm sloshed...Get it together Green man...We gotta get paid for this...(Takes a deep breath) OK...He's good...I mean...Well...I was gonna make an Anthology dig here...But I'm gonna be professional.

39. PSW - The Spoiler

Oh man, I don't know this guy, normally this is where I try to hide my limited knowledge of old school wrestling or non 'mainstream' leagues by talking about 'value' or something, but no, really I got nothing

(Takes another drink of his vodka Redbull)

Get me another one of those! I got like 5 more rounds or something...


40. UWL:WCFW - Evan Aho


This guy was a workrate machine and a real star in his day...I mean all of that, you the man Evan...I LOVE YOU BUDDY!!


41. ULW - Armando Montezuma

This guy was a total fraud, a hack, a sham...A disgrace of a pick really...ULW sucks! I have no idea what their bonehead eco-terrorist leader is doing, but it ain't drafting coherently!


42. WPW - Rocko Daymon

He now goes by the nickname "The Undying" which is a title you get clearing 10 man Naxx without anyone dying. How do I know that? Well Doc made a Shirley Manson blood elf rogue named "Supervixen" but then couldn't figure it out and rolled a friggin' Night Elf Huntard on Alliance...Cause Doc SUCKS AT WARCRAFT...So I had to get her up to 80 and get the phat epix, cause I wasn't gonna let her down...No Shirley, I'm the one that's good to you, I ain't gonna leave you in some friggin' inn in Brill...No way no how! Oh, and good on WPW for taking Rocko, he's very good...

(A new Vodka Redbull is given to Greenie, he slams it down)

Don't stop, they gotta keep rolling!

43. OCCW - Jason Snow

Nope, don't know this guy...Sure he's AWESOME...YEAH MAN...

44. PWZ - Housefly

He's been champ in A1E a buncha times, and his name is goofy...I love the pick...I wonder if he ever feuded with Venus Fly Trap or The Spider or something. Good move PWZ! Good on you sir...GOOD ON YOU!


45. JCF - Boogie Smallz


BOOGIE! You da man! JCF is the best league ever...(Gets bug eyed) Oh lord...GO TO COMMERCIAL...

(Greenie scampers off set, and can he heard throwing up off camera.)

(FADEOUT)
 

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