"I stand before you today a frustrated man."
[His voice is subdued, for now.]
"In nineteen years in this business as a professional I've seen a lot of things happen to a lot of people, and it's been my experience that the vast majority of my so-called [finger-quotes] "peers" have been gullible, lazy schmucks who couldn't see the forrest for the g*ddamned trees.
Schmucks like Joey Melton. Speaking of, didn't he just get his arm broken in EPW like fifteen minutes ago, and now he's all of a sudden gonna go and win the ULTRATITLE again? Yeah, whatever.
Moving right along...
I've won every title I've ever chased, you know. I've put down every challenger to my legacy, and I've lorded over everything from bingo halls to domed stadiums. You can go ahead and tell me how you've never heard of me, if you were too narrow-minded to watch any wrestling that you weren't directly involved with, that's not my fault. I've headlined more Pay-Per-Views than most of you have ever wrestled on, and I've got the bank statements to prove it.
I am an institution, and I will not be denied."
[FADEIN: Standing in the trophy room safely ensconced inside of his New Orleans office complex is The Only Star, ERIC DANE. He's become a familiar face on ESEN over the past couple of years as both the owner of DEFIANCE Wrestling, and the current self-proclaimed number one contender to CASTOR STRIFE's NFW World Title.]
Eric Dane:
I've been to as many places and gained as many accolades as any man left standing in this business. Eddie Mayfield sent a contract to my office because he knows who I am, but all I ever hear is "what have you done for me lately?"
You may be asking yourself why I'm wasting your time with this little spiel, and the answer is actually pretty simple. I'm telling you all this so you understand that I came to this New Frontier with all of its history and I started at the bottom, just like everyone in this business is supposed to. I didn't use my legacy as an excuse, I never demanded any preferential treatment or start barking for title matches because of something I did in 1997 or 2001 or 2003 or 2006 or at any other point over the past couple of decades...
No.
I earned my spot. The less-initiated of my fellow competitors will be quick to shout it from the mountaintops that I've lied and cheated and hustled my way into the position that I'm in, but let's be honest now, is there really any other way?
[He nods, confirming that there indeed is not.]
Eric Dane:
If you think for one second that plotting and scheming your way through a wrestling company is even one iota less physically or mentally draining than muscling your way through it, or even honoring your way through it, then not only are you the classic definition of the word "idiot," but you're not even on the shortlist of people in this tournament who have a chance to make it past the second round.
I find myself presently booked to wrestle another man of similar stature to myself smack dab in the middle of a glorified house show in the New Frontier.
Dan Ryan, I'll get to you in Philadelphia.
As for those of you who think that I'm just another loud-mouth on the list of people who ride through here and act like an asshole for a year and then piss back off to the bottom side of whatever rock that they crawled their sorry asses out from under, I want you to pay special attention to me for the next two minutes.
[He stands between two very large trophies. Draped over the trophies are six very big, very expensive looking World Title belts, and behind them in cases and arranged around the room are several dozen smaller, regional titles. Some of the belts are replicas, some of them are the real deal, but all of them are representative of a very long, very successful venture into the wrestling business. There are magazine covers and promotional posters decorating the walls along with framed photos from his personal collection. It's everything a man's personal trophy room could ever want to be.]
Eric Dane:
I didn't come here to brag, well maybe just a little, but in fact I came here to make a point. I'm not a man who should be overlooked, and I'm certainly not someone who can be taken at face value. You all think you know so much...
[He chuckles.]
Eric Dane:
As I said, I stand here frustrated. I am a decorated champion so many times over that I've lost count. However, out of respect, I haven't spent any time on jamming that fact down anyone's throat prior to this very moment. I haven't blathered on about either hall of fame that have entire wings dedicated to me, and what has it gotten me?
It's gotten me stunning 5-star matches with the likes of Barry Lawler and P. King Duk.
It's gotten me Rook Black, shaving off my valet's eyebrows.
It's gotten me a rookie schmuck named Alex Austin trying to convince himself that he can carry my boots.
It's gotten me Dan f*cking Ryan in a mid-card nothing match in a dirty town that I can't f*cking stand. Plus Cancer Jiles is from there, that should tell you enough.
[His teeth grind as distaste washes over his face.]
Eric Dane:
But not anymore.
Now I have the ULTRATITLE.
I have yet another validation that there isn't and wasn't and will never be another man who brings to the table what I do. I don't just win championships and tournaments, I revolutionize everything I touch. This is serious business to me, gentlemen, not just a reason to dust off the ol' gimmick and see if I can get into the same arguments with the same people that I did fifteen and twenty years ago, Eli Flair.
Yeah, I'm lookin' at you.
You're not here to do anything more than give yourself another in a long line of pats on the back. You and Melton are two peas in a pod, acting like it's still nineteen-ninety-whenever it was that you two both last mattered concurrently.
Why don't you just get out of the way, give the paying fans a Legends Match that they can argue about, and let the actual legitimate contenders wrestle for the accolades.
[His sneer widens into a satisfied smirk.]
Eric Dane:
I'm going to tear through this tournament like an outbreak of plague through the middle ages, and when it's all said and done and all of the broken bodies have been burnt and the air has gone acrid with the smell of eighty or ninety dead careers, you can all go back to telling me how much you think you understand about me.
Give me Dan Ryan.
Give me Eli Flair.
Give me Joey Melton.
Give me The Deacon.
Give me Sean Stevens and Jack Harmen, Anarky and Troy Windham.
I want Joe the Plumber in a Streetfight, and I want Cancer Jiles in a Ladder Match. I want everybody who's ever sniffed that old Unified World Title, and I specifically want everyone who's ever even thought about contending for the ULTRATITLE.
I want nothing more than to crush them all.
[XTREMECLOSEUP: His eyes are bluer than blue, his teeth perfect and white. The look on his face tells you everything that you'll ever need to know about this man, this Only Star.]
Eric Dane:
I'm telling you all now.
I'm telling Chad Merritt and I'm telling the brass at ESEN, just like I'm telling every single one of you unlucky pretenders that think you're going to share a bracket with me and come out anything but disapointed.
The ULTRATITLE 2012 Tournament has been bought and paid for, booked and scheduled, advertised and insured, all so that I can do the one thing I've ever done consistently in my career.
Win.
[Slow fade.]
"Don't ever say I didn't warn you."
[FADE2BLACK]
[His voice is subdued, for now.]
"In nineteen years in this business as a professional I've seen a lot of things happen to a lot of people, and it's been my experience that the vast majority of my so-called [finger-quotes] "peers" have been gullible, lazy schmucks who couldn't see the forrest for the g*ddamned trees.
Schmucks like Joey Melton. Speaking of, didn't he just get his arm broken in EPW like fifteen minutes ago, and now he's all of a sudden gonna go and win the ULTRATITLE again? Yeah, whatever.
Moving right along...
I've won every title I've ever chased, you know. I've put down every challenger to my legacy, and I've lorded over everything from bingo halls to domed stadiums. You can go ahead and tell me how you've never heard of me, if you were too narrow-minded to watch any wrestling that you weren't directly involved with, that's not my fault. I've headlined more Pay-Per-Views than most of you have ever wrestled on, and I've got the bank statements to prove it.
I am an institution, and I will not be denied."
[FADEIN: Standing in the trophy room safely ensconced inside of his New Orleans office complex is The Only Star, ERIC DANE. He's become a familiar face on ESEN over the past couple of years as both the owner of DEFIANCE Wrestling, and the current self-proclaimed number one contender to CASTOR STRIFE's NFW World Title.]
Eric Dane:
I've been to as many places and gained as many accolades as any man left standing in this business. Eddie Mayfield sent a contract to my office because he knows who I am, but all I ever hear is "what have you done for me lately?"
You may be asking yourself why I'm wasting your time with this little spiel, and the answer is actually pretty simple. I'm telling you all this so you understand that I came to this New Frontier with all of its history and I started at the bottom, just like everyone in this business is supposed to. I didn't use my legacy as an excuse, I never demanded any preferential treatment or start barking for title matches because of something I did in 1997 or 2001 or 2003 or 2006 or at any other point over the past couple of decades...
No.
I earned my spot. The less-initiated of my fellow competitors will be quick to shout it from the mountaintops that I've lied and cheated and hustled my way into the position that I'm in, but let's be honest now, is there really any other way?
[He nods, confirming that there indeed is not.]
Eric Dane:
If you think for one second that plotting and scheming your way through a wrestling company is even one iota less physically or mentally draining than muscling your way through it, or even honoring your way through it, then not only are you the classic definition of the word "idiot," but you're not even on the shortlist of people in this tournament who have a chance to make it past the second round.
I find myself presently booked to wrestle another man of similar stature to myself smack dab in the middle of a glorified house show in the New Frontier.
Dan Ryan, I'll get to you in Philadelphia.
As for those of you who think that I'm just another loud-mouth on the list of people who ride through here and act like an asshole for a year and then piss back off to the bottom side of whatever rock that they crawled their sorry asses out from under, I want you to pay special attention to me for the next two minutes.
[He stands between two very large trophies. Draped over the trophies are six very big, very expensive looking World Title belts, and behind them in cases and arranged around the room are several dozen smaller, regional titles. Some of the belts are replicas, some of them are the real deal, but all of them are representative of a very long, very successful venture into the wrestling business. There are magazine covers and promotional posters decorating the walls along with framed photos from his personal collection. It's everything a man's personal trophy room could ever want to be.]
Eric Dane:
I didn't come here to brag, well maybe just a little, but in fact I came here to make a point. I'm not a man who should be overlooked, and I'm certainly not someone who can be taken at face value. You all think you know so much...
[He chuckles.]
Eric Dane:
As I said, I stand here frustrated. I am a decorated champion so many times over that I've lost count. However, out of respect, I haven't spent any time on jamming that fact down anyone's throat prior to this very moment. I haven't blathered on about either hall of fame that have entire wings dedicated to me, and what has it gotten me?
It's gotten me stunning 5-star matches with the likes of Barry Lawler and P. King Duk.
It's gotten me Rook Black, shaving off my valet's eyebrows.
It's gotten me a rookie schmuck named Alex Austin trying to convince himself that he can carry my boots.
It's gotten me Dan f*cking Ryan in a mid-card nothing match in a dirty town that I can't f*cking stand. Plus Cancer Jiles is from there, that should tell you enough.
[His teeth grind as distaste washes over his face.]
Eric Dane:
But not anymore.
Now I have the ULTRATITLE.
I have yet another validation that there isn't and wasn't and will never be another man who brings to the table what I do. I don't just win championships and tournaments, I revolutionize everything I touch. This is serious business to me, gentlemen, not just a reason to dust off the ol' gimmick and see if I can get into the same arguments with the same people that I did fifteen and twenty years ago, Eli Flair.
Yeah, I'm lookin' at you.
You're not here to do anything more than give yourself another in a long line of pats on the back. You and Melton are two peas in a pod, acting like it's still nineteen-ninety-whenever it was that you two both last mattered concurrently.
Why don't you just get out of the way, give the paying fans a Legends Match that they can argue about, and let the actual legitimate contenders wrestle for the accolades.
[His sneer widens into a satisfied smirk.]
Eric Dane:
I'm going to tear through this tournament like an outbreak of plague through the middle ages, and when it's all said and done and all of the broken bodies have been burnt and the air has gone acrid with the smell of eighty or ninety dead careers, you can all go back to telling me how much you think you understand about me.
Give me Dan Ryan.
Give me Eli Flair.
Give me Joey Melton.
Give me The Deacon.
Give me Sean Stevens and Jack Harmen, Anarky and Troy Windham.
I want Joe the Plumber in a Streetfight, and I want Cancer Jiles in a Ladder Match. I want everybody who's ever sniffed that old Unified World Title, and I specifically want everyone who's ever even thought about contending for the ULTRATITLE.
I want nothing more than to crush them all.
[XTREMECLOSEUP: His eyes are bluer than blue, his teeth perfect and white. The look on his face tells you everything that you'll ever need to know about this man, this Only Star.]
Eric Dane:
I'm telling you all now.
I'm telling Chad Merritt and I'm telling the brass at ESEN, just like I'm telling every single one of you unlucky pretenders that think you're going to share a bracket with me and come out anything but disapointed.
The ULTRATITLE 2012 Tournament has been bought and paid for, booked and scheduled, advertised and insured, all so that I can do the one thing I've ever done consistently in my career.
Win.
[Slow fade.]
"Don't ever say I didn't warn you."
[FADE2BLACK]
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