You know you want to.
Heritage TV 05 Feedback
- Thread starter Justin
- Start date
BigPimpin
League Member
Reserved for more thorough feedback later, but so far my favorite match is Light/Jiles and my favorite seg is Dewey/Jiles. Face of the night would be Claira and heel of the night Jiles. RPs I really don't remember.
AngerManagement
League Member
There were quite a few things that I liked about this show.
1) Christian Light does the pure face thing better than anyone else in e-wrestling.
2) My favorite segment was, believe it or not, the announcers actually talking about who had the best chance of winning the next match and why. That felt real to me...and it made me more invested in how the match actually progressed.
3) I loved the fact that there was a reaction to the Diamond Shazam promo, which acknowledged the fact that assault and battery had occurred. When there are real world ramifications to actions, it makes the whole thing better connected.
4) The "compromised ref" angle is a good way to keep heat for both Jiles and Light.
I would have liked more reaction after the second pinfall...but other than that, a thoroughly enjoyable show that provides a lot of story hooks for the future!
1) Christian Light does the pure face thing better than anyone else in e-wrestling.
2) My favorite segment was, believe it or not, the announcers actually talking about who had the best chance of winning the next match and why. That felt real to me...and it made me more invested in how the match actually progressed.
3) I loved the fact that there was a reaction to the Diamond Shazam promo, which acknowledged the fact that assault and battery had occurred. When there are real world ramifications to actions, it makes the whole thing better connected.
4) The "compromised ref" angle is a good way to keep heat for both Jiles and Light.
I would have liked more reaction after the second pinfall...but other than that, a thoroughly enjoyable show that provides a lot of story hooks for the future!
1. Congrats to the wiener's.
2. I thought the main event was spiffy.
3. I don't remember too much rp wise, I know we had a **** week all together. Meh, as is the case when you lose steam. No matter.
4. Agree that the show provided a good launching off point for some new stuff to start brewing.
5. The unknown debut was a nice read, and the ensuing comments after it were spot on.
6. The banter in the booth is the glue of these shows, and it always sticks. Good work there.
7. I liked the bullet points to start the show. Giving a lil preview of what the show holds, adds to the excitement of things to come.
8. Cosmetically the show looked fine. I like the seg titles, being blunt and straight forward works.
9. I really liked working with Damien. First time we collaborated on a seg together, thought it turned out nice.
2. I thought the main event was spiffy.
3. I don't remember too much rp wise, I know we had a **** week all together. Meh, as is the case when you lose steam. No matter.
4. Agree that the show provided a good launching off point for some new stuff to start brewing.
5. The unknown debut was a nice read, and the ensuing comments after it were spot on.
6. The banter in the booth is the glue of these shows, and it always sticks. Good work there.
7. I liked the bullet points to start the show. Giving a lil preview of what the show holds, adds to the excitement of things to come.
8. Cosmetically the show looked fine. I like the seg titles, being blunt and straight forward works.
9. I really liked working with Damien. First time we collaborated on a seg together, thought it turned out nice.
SpookyDoom
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2012
- Messages
- 207
- Points
- 0
I'm tired and so busy right now which is why I'm not posting on these forums (all of them) as usual...
1) Rereading my own segment, I notice how I wrote "au naturale" and freak out. I mean, I know I'm out of touch with my written french but please tell me I didn't write that! Checking through my inbox, I notice that I indeed did not write that. Yeah, I appreciate the sentiment but there's no need to proofread my segments.
2) So all you need to piss off the boss is send a few flowers with some meek burns attached? Chill your pill, man.
3) FDJ reads like a... 0.6 on the Mateo scale. Basically, big angry redneck guy?
4) Appreciating how Light puts others over.
5) Great main event with the stalling and the crowd work and the announcers pre-match selling everything as if it were MMA. Real cute.
1) Rereading my own segment, I notice how I wrote "au naturale" and freak out. I mean, I know I'm out of touch with my written french but please tell me I didn't write that! Checking through my inbox, I notice that I indeed did not write that. Yeah, I appreciate the sentiment but there's no need to proofread my segments.
2) So all you need to piss off the boss is send a few flowers with some meek burns attached? Chill your pill, man.
3) FDJ reads like a... 0.6 on the Mateo scale. Basically, big angry redneck guy?
4) Appreciating how Light puts others over.
5) Great main event with the stalling and the crowd work and the announcers pre-match selling everything as if it were MMA. Real cute.
JeffOLW
League Member
You sent me a novel-style seg in a federation that hasn't once posted a novel-style anything, so clearly at least some proofreading is required.
And dont ever compare FDJ to Siegels garbage again. PLZNFANX
SpookyDoom
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2012
- Messages
- 207
- Points
- 0
You have your terms mixed up: script is when you have bracket narration and speaking parts preceded by the name-colon, novel would be more like... a novel, with speach worked within the narration. What any of these have to do with proofreading is beyond me; I proofread myself and am a native French speaker.
JeffOLW
League Member
Yes, I'm aware of the difference between script and novel. You sent me a segment in novel format, I changed it into script, and if you have the original seg in your inbox you are aware of this.
Jonathan Todd
New member
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2012
- Messages
- 249
- Points
- 0
Do we have the format for segment for the card on these boards like we did on the last one?
JeffOLW
League Member
We haven't posted it yet, no, it's lost on the old boards.
Here's the bottom line.
Don't question Jeff about his segment modifications.
Ever.
That is all.
Now if we could get back to the original topic at hand, that'd be super awesome.
Don't question Jeff about his segment modifications.
Ever.
That is all.
Now if we could get back to the original topic at hand, that'd be super awesome.
lsnow777
Spooky's Doomed.
spooky i hope you die on christmas.
SpookyDoom
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2012
- Messages
- 207
- Points
- 0
The fuck?
JeffOLW
League Member
Cut that shit out and don't do it again.
There is a difference between opting out of the enforced superficial politeness that so many places have, and starting shit for no reason. We don't tolerate the latter here, not even a little bit.
Last edited:
Also, LRN2CAPITAL.
lsnow777
Spooky's Doomed.
sorry, was meant as dark humor and i did a poor job of implying that. no offense spooky.
Damien
Member
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2012
- Messages
- 515
- Points
- 16
</Derailment>
BEST SINGLE RP: I don't know, it's been so long, so I don't remember.
BEST RP BATTLE: See above
MATCH OF THE NIGHT: Eugene/Claira was well written and got both characters across well. Jiles/Light was good as well, but the abruptness of the ending hurt it a little in my opinion. I'd rather have read about Jiles stewing in the middle of the ring as Andrews ginned like some kind of smug bastard until the fade.
SEGMENT OF THE NIGHT: You gots to go a long way to beat anything George writes imo. He did most of the work on our seg, so I'm gonna plump for that. I don't even care if I collaborated. If I'm not allowed to do that, or anyone thinks I'm being egotistical, Christian Light's segment.
BEST STORYLINE/ANGLE: Andrews/Jiles
SURPRISE OF THE NIGHT: Honestly, St. Sure winning. I understand it now, but at the time I thought I'd done enough to beat Lee.
MOMENT OF THE NIGHT: Jeff restarting the match.
FACE OF THE NIGHT: Light - How can you not pick him after that interview seg?
HEEL OF THE NIGHT: I want to say Diamond Shazam beating up some poor schmuck for no raisin get him the award, but, personally, I didn't like it.... Not in a heel way though, more like a 'that makes no sense' way. I don't think I've ever seen a debut segment where the guy almost kills somebody. For that reason, I'm gonna go Cancer Jiles.
SHOW MVP: Claira St. Sure extends her lead yet again. It's going to take a lot to catch her.
SHOW RATING: 7/10
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER: This record has been on so long it's reached the end of the track.
MISC. THOUGHTS: FDJ is readable, while at on occassion being difficult to understand. Just like he's supposed to be. Eric Mateo reads like he's written in a different language. Writing with a drawl is difficult to perfect, but FDJ hits the back of the net more often than not.
Also, this thread activated my hilarity unit. But I was laughing more at the absolute ridiculousness of half of the complaints than anything else.
BEST SINGLE RP: I don't know, it's been so long, so I don't remember.
BEST RP BATTLE: See above
MATCH OF THE NIGHT: Eugene/Claira was well written and got both characters across well. Jiles/Light was good as well, but the abruptness of the ending hurt it a little in my opinion. I'd rather have read about Jiles stewing in the middle of the ring as Andrews ginned like some kind of smug bastard until the fade.
SEGMENT OF THE NIGHT: You gots to go a long way to beat anything George writes imo. He did most of the work on our seg, so I'm gonna plump for that. I don't even care if I collaborated. If I'm not allowed to do that, or anyone thinks I'm being egotistical, Christian Light's segment.
BEST STORYLINE/ANGLE: Andrews/Jiles
SURPRISE OF THE NIGHT: Honestly, St. Sure winning. I understand it now, but at the time I thought I'd done enough to beat Lee.
MOMENT OF THE NIGHT: Jeff restarting the match.
FACE OF THE NIGHT: Light - How can you not pick him after that interview seg?
HEEL OF THE NIGHT: I want to say Diamond Shazam beating up some poor schmuck for no raisin get him the award, but, personally, I didn't like it.... Not in a heel way though, more like a 'that makes no sense' way. I don't think I've ever seen a debut segment where the guy almost kills somebody. For that reason, I'm gonna go Cancer Jiles.
SHOW MVP: Claira St. Sure extends her lead yet again. It's going to take a lot to catch her.
SHOW RATING: 7/10
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER: This record has been on so long it's reached the end of the track.
MISC. THOUGHTS: FDJ is readable, while at on occassion being difficult to understand. Just like he's supposed to be. Eric Mateo reads like he's written in a different language. Writing with a drawl is difficult to perfect, but FDJ hits the back of the net more often than not.
Also, this thread activated my hilarity unit. But I was laughing more at the absolute ridiculousness of half of the complaints than anything else.