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Heritage TV 05 Preview Podcast

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JeffOLW

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Heritage TV 05


Roleplay Deadline: Friday, April 27th, 2012; 11:59pm PST
Segment Deadline: Sunday, April 29th, 2012; 11:59pm PST
Roleplay Limit: None. Go nuts.


Main Event
Christian Light vs Cancer Jiles

So Cancer Jiles wasn't injured after all. And he came away from the ladder match with 10 points through elimination and a slew of bonuses. But he didn't win. Light did. And now they fight. Wooooo~!


Semi-Main
Claira St. Sure vs Eugene Dewey

Claira St. Sure may have been denied entry to the TLC match, but she still proved her caliber by defeating Heidi Christenson by submission. She now looks to protect her status as league leader by defending against one of her closest challengers, Eugene Dewey.

Bodyslam Challenge
Jan Gin Xiao vs Jack Cassidy


JGX and Jack Cassidy have both seen mixed success in Defiance so far and are near the middle of the points rankings. So now they wrestle. The bodyslam challenge is in effect, with 5 points for Cassidy if he can pull it off.


Michel LaLiberte vs Nakita DuBov

Both these wrestlers have been struggling after some initial success. One of them will snap a losing streak here.


Diamond Shazam vs Vagabond

It's debut vs debut, as Diamond Shazam, who introduced himself at the interleague show, takes on Vagabond.
 

Hell_Fighter

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[FADE IN]

(The scene opens as the cut from the shower spout directly over head turns on and water begins coming down.)

(The camera follows the water down as it sprinkles of Defiance female wrestler, "The Fem Phenom" Nakita DuBov standing under the shower water quiet and somber as the water cascades over her body. She remains quiet and reflecting as she thinks back on her match that transpired from Defiance ESEN Interleague special that just transpired not to long ago.)

(Cut to: Jonny Booya picking Nakita DuBov up into the air the start of The Booya powerbomb. It starts fast but then as Booya comes down with DuBov in his arms everything slows down feeling the emotion.)

(V/O of Nakita DuBov)

I'll show you how great I am.

(Slow motion of Booya coming down with Nakita toward the mat in the Booya Bomb.)

I am The Baddest ***** on the Planet.)

(Slow motion of Booya getting closer with Nakita toward the mat.)

Painting the picture and telling the story

(The slow motion ends as Booya finishes off Nakita DuBov as the powerbomb completes it's motion with DuBov hitting the mat and Booya makes the cover as the referee makes the final count and the echo of his hands hitting the mat that reverberates inside of Nakita head.)

One...

Two...

Three....

Ding...

Ding...

Ding...

"I lost again, now what?"

(Back in the shower as Nakita feels the pain on her back and neck trying to massage her wounds before she has to begin, lick her wounds and fight next week against Michael LaLiberte. The steam strategically censors and covers the risque parts from her naked body. She hangs her head down visibly upset and frustrated at herself over the past month here in Defiance as everything is beginning to take her toll on her mentally and emotional. Nakita slams both of her fist into the cement wall as the sound echos throughout the entire shower.)

WHAMMMMMM

(Nakita pauses for a moment as she removes her fist from the wall as she sees traces of blood on the wall from where she punched it. Sprinkles of water begin to hit where the blood is and cause it to wash off as Nakita watches it drip off of the wall and go down the drain. She looks at her knuckles as she see the broken skin where the bloody knuckles are shown. Nakita moves her fingers in observation to see if everything is alright. After seeing that there is no permanent damage. She cracks her knuckles and continues on with her deep thought.)

Nakita's voice: "How can I win? What is left for me after losing four straight matches in a row? How do I push myself to get back up now?"

Male voice: "Simple, go back to the beginning. Go back to painting the picture and telling the story. Tell us your story Nakita."

Nakita: "Oh my god, Kevin?"

(Nakita turns around as she sees a literal ghost from her past as she starring face to face with her very first manager, Kevin Edward LeBrock, back when she first started in the New Frontier Wrestling. He is wearing an all white suit and carrying a gold cane with a gold cross around his neck.)

Kevin LeBrock: "I always loved that saying. It embodied you Nakita. Paint the picture and tell the story. I was your voice but I think that I was your heart, but when I died I think that all that died with me. I mean kind of makes sense Nakita now doesn't it? I mean did you really mourn me after I died. I know that you did but at the same time you didn't. Its kind of a paradox isn't it. A real conundrum. The show went on for Nakita DuBov and you pressed on without me but at the same time died more and more everyday without me in your corner. Even now you still continue to die as you go through these motions week in and week out. Do you even remember what I taught you in the ring?"

Nakita: I never forgot.

Kevin: Do you remember what I taught you when the cameras weren't rolling or when the photographs weren't being taken?

(No words from Nakita as her silence says it all.)

Kevin: It makes sense, like how you entered the EPW and didn't even use your really name, adopting the name Dark Phenom Dahaka. That wasn't you. That was just some caricature of who you were, to disguise and take away from the pain of what you were feeling at that time.

Nakita: What did you wanna hear? When you died in that car accident. I tried to separate the ring from my real life. I felt that it was the only thing that had to do to deal with the pain and all of the good times that we shared. I ****ing loved you. I still do.

Kevin: "Enough to carry me around like an anchor and not give you peace in your own life. That is sad and tragic and you're better than that Nakita. Here is the cycle that you go through. You push yourself to utter perfection, then when things don't go your way and you lose. You do beat yourself up but then you push yourself even harder and wrestling with an even bigger chip on your shoulder than before thinking that no matter what you always have something to prove. You never take the time to enjoy the passion and joy that performing in that wrestling ring would give somebody. Even if you did win and was on top of the world you would never find time to rest and be thankful for that win, you would be driven to be that much more perfect the next match and the next match after that. That is no way to go Nakita. I was your voice, I was your heart, I was you passion, I was your joy so you didn't have to be and when I died in that car accident all of that died with me. When will Nakita LeAnna DuBov stop fighting just to prove you can and start wrestling simply because you love it? You wanna claim that you are for the fans that's fine then show them each and every night you step out from behind that curtain and into that ring. But if you wanna be the baddest ***** on the planet. Live it, Love it, Become it, BE IT! Never just say it."

Nakita: You don't think that I have tried? I done it and right now I have failed. There is nothing left for me. What is keeping me from hanging it all up and just walking away forever?

Kevin: Because that's not you. You have never been a quiter. Why should you start now. Because you are a woman. You may be the biggest woman in this company but you are still a woman nonetheless. You will always have something to prove and fight to prove yourself. You will always be an underdog. You may lose but you always keep fighting. Life will always finds ways to knock you down and even try to keep you down but it is not how hard you hit and yes you do hit damn hard not just for a girl but almost more than most men, but it is never gonna be about how hard you hit but how hard you get hit and keep getting up. You can take the hit Nakita. I know you can. Don't stop taking the hit just because you've lost a few matches. You wanna succeed in Defiance then show them all that four losses and a powerbomb won't keep you down. You will get back up. I know that you will. Troy Matthews, Jack Bryant, Dan Ryan, and now Jonny Booya did infact beat you but are they really better than you? I don't think so and I know that deep down, even at the source of all of your pain and agony you don't believe that. So don't give in to all that now.

(Kevin moves in closely to Nakita.)

Kevin: There will always be one more stroke needed for the picture in order to make it that masterpiece or one more chapter to that story that needs to be written and told. Don't you ever stop telling it Nakita. When you feel like that you have lost your way, just think on me and the basics of where it all began. Fight with joy and passion. Do it because you love it. Don't worry about just trying to hurt someone and if you should lose then keep getting up and keep figthing because like the rain it doesn't fall everyday and the sun will shine in the morning. Your time will come Nakita I promises you. Feel free to cry every now and again. It will be alright. It is not just girlie, it is also...HUMAN.

(Kevin leans in and gives Nakita a kiss on the cheek. Soon enough Nakita looks around and he is completely gone. With only her and the water and steam around her in shower room. Nakita then suddenly that through all of the water pouring down on her she feels something that is not from the shower spout as she feels a tear running down her cheeck. She brushes it off with her cheeck and smiles.)

Nakita: Thank you Kevin. Thank you. I will remember the basics. I will never forget you. And next week on Heritage I will be ready for Michael LaLiberte.

[FADE OUT]
 
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SpookyDoom

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FADE IN... to Diamond Shazam's dressing room. Well, not actually his dressing room; first match rookies don't exactly have dressing rooms but such issues are rather irrelevant to anyone who repeatedly offers backdrop drivers to those who stand in his way. Right, fade in to Diamond Shazam, powdering his nose in front of the mirror. Nevermind the fact that his face is all painted up in gaudy colors and diamond patterns, the man insists on looking his best regardless of the occasion. The DEFIANCE film crew hesitates but Diamond Shazam invites them in with a slight falsetto in his voice.

Diamond Shazam: "Enter, enter my darlings, you're just in time! Isn't it just too peachy? My first match, my first opponent... Maybe even my first blood! Oh, it's enough to make an old girl blush!"

Diamond Shazam giggles madly, feverishly stamping the blush all over his face. Then he eats the lipstick.

Diamond Shazam: "Right, so ... Vagabond? My, I'm so sorry but I've just never heard of his works. Was he in Hollywood? The Sundance festival? Rotten Tomatoes? I try to keep up but there's so much happening all at once! Who is Vagabond? What did he ever direct? Can I eat him, and what does he taste like? I really wish DEFIANCE would inform us better but in their absence, I guess I'll provide all the relevant details after an intimate relation with the man"

"Oh don't look at me like that, homophobia is the one thing I just won't stand for. Sex and violence are merely two sides of the same coin; we love to hate about as much as we hate seeing ourselves as loving! Provoking screams in the ring and in the bedroom alike; I care deeply about my performance so that every man I'm with suffers more than the last. You merely are the baseline, Vagabond. My first in DEFIANCE."

The name of his promotion causes Diamond Shazam to break, changing his voice from the previous falsetto speeches into a deeper, more plainspoken manner.

Diamond Shazam: "Speaking of which, what's up with this "scoreboard" bullshit? I want poets to sing of my glory, not some bloody accountant. It's not as if wrestling were this... "competitive sport"; how much points would I get for wearing Vagabond's skin as a frilly tutu anyhow? You can't put value on that! Keep your points, I'm here to snort the powdered bones of my opponents off a slut's backside. Not to brag or anything but it's the latest thing in Hollywood- you've got to try it! Not like you'll ever get the chance BUT I'M SUCH A TEASE!!!"

"So I hope to hear all about you, Vagabond. I want to know everything about you, the better to torture you, my dear. Forget about the scoreboards, think only of the titanic battle we'll share, just you and I, alone in the ring with thousands of perverted little deviants watching over us. I promise to be the greatest lover you'll ever have, or at the very least, your last. Indeed, jealousy has always been my greatest fault and I just couldn't STAND to see you in the grappling arms of a lesser man, offering you second rate pain and suffering. Nobody causes suffering like Diamond Shazam!!! Which is why I'll be repeatedly stomping up and down on your skull until it explodes when TV time comes."

And now he's back to giggling again like an idiot, dropping off his chair, laughing his ass off. Near 300 pound heavyweight trained in the demanding strong style school of professional wrestling and he's rolling around the room like a giddy schoolgirl. When he returns to his feet, he's a mess of powdered rouge, misaligned lipstick and feather boas stuck to his sweaty skin... but looking back at the mirror, Diamond Shazam seems fairly satisfied with himself.

Diamond Shazam: "But I digress and ramble while putting off this new chainsaw dress I've been designing. The life of an artist keeps me eternally occupied: I'm a painter, a sculptor, a musician... all using the same material: YOU! Your pain and your suffering fuels all of my art! Your screams and your blood will be all that I require to become famous. But I'm not greedy, I'll share the wealth, you can ALL be pieces in my glorious expo!"

"I'm also a wrestler too, if that matters. I never got to what DEFIANCE was about before signing my contract but I'm certain it's not important. I remain DIAMOND SHAZAM. That's important."

FADE OUT, to girlish pirouette as Shazam makes his exit.
 

Damien

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I'm going, going, back, back to Stormwind, Stormwind

Wayne and Eugene Dewey were never known for their outdoors-i-ness, so to see them out of their basement and away from their battle stations, well that was a sight as rare as Halley's Comet. Today, though, would be that once every seventy-six years occurrence of said phenomenon.


Don't go expecting the brothers to be hanging in the VIP section of 'Persephone', or some other den of chest thumping meatheads all trying to score on the nearest waxed tangerine though. They're not venturing that far out of their comfort zones, no, instead they're simply checking out the pre-owned section of GameStop in Sheridan, just a forty minute drive away from their home in Buffalo, Wyoming.

As usual, their mom sat next door in Starbucks awaiting the return of her sons so that she could head home and begin preparing their dinner.

"Seriously, dude, I think 'Mists of Pandaria' is going to completely refresh WoW." Said Wayne as he picked up a copy of 'Mass Effect 3' and turned it around to check out the price. "Hey you could trade in your copy and get back some of that cash you handed to Bioware in repayment for this two disc case of disappointment. Looks like they'll pay you a fair amount judging by what they're reselling it at."

Eugene just shook his head at both of his brother's ideas. Firstly, It wasn't his style to trade in games, who knew when they may come in handy, either as coasters or for a long awaited DLC pack. And secondly, who the hell gives a crap about being a panda?

"Meh," replied Eugene, summing all of his feelings up in one syllable, "I'm not sure if I'll bother. ToR is still pretty much all I need right now."

"How can you say that?" Asked Wayne as he shook his head, "After all of the assistance and training Warcraft has provided you since you came into Defiance, how can you say you won't bother with Pandaria?"

"Because we haven't played WoW in ages..." Eugene replied quite bluntly.

"That doesn't mean it can't come in handy." Said Wayne, clearly sifting through his brain for a nugget of gold to back up that statement.

Finally he caught sight of one.

"When was the first time you died in The Old Republic?" Wayne asked.

Eugene thought for a second before replying, "Probably level eight or nine. When those noobs completely abandoned me in that heroic area."

"Exactly, and you were still on the starting planet, weren't you?" Wayne said, knowing he'd picked the shiniest chunk of precious metal he could have done, "And when did you first die in Azeroth?"

"Level eleven or twelve I think." Replied Eugene obviously trying to work out what his brother was getting at. "Those god damned Murlocs came out of nowhere."

In the background a kid that could have been a third Dewey brother had been eavesdropping. He nodded in agreement to Eugene's obituary for his fallen warrior.

"Well, don't you see what's going on in Def right now?" Asked Wayne, sounding slightly annoyed that Eugene hadn't twigged it by now. "This first part of the season, that's been Elwynn Forest, easy mobs, no real dangers, no problems. Sure, some people can't make it through Fargodeep Mine without having to repair their gear dozens of times, but others make it out unscathed."

Eugene stared blankly at his riddle spouting brother.

"Claira St. Sure is one of those that has come through unscathed." Said Wayne, finally getting to the point he was making. "But that doesn't change the fact that she's still a noob and doesn't have a clue what's coming as she makes her way into the next region. She's about to head into Westfall and come up against a whole host of murlocs!"

Wayne slapped the Mass Effect 3 case against Eugene's chest.

"And you are going to be those Murlocs." Added Wayne to wrap the explanation up in a bow. "Claira St. Sure won't know what hit her when you step foot in that ring with her. Somebody's got to show her she can't make it all the way to the post season undefeated. Who better to do it that you?"

Eugene’s head wobbled from side to side after hearing his brother's notion.

“But I know guys that made it past those murlocs.” He responded sounding slightly worried. “What if Claira St. Sure is better than you think?”

“Well then,” Replied Wayne, “You’re just going to have to be the rivermaws, the kobalts, the harvest reapers, whatever you can be to make sure she doesn’t make it through this week undefeated. You’re going to have to go out there and take her places she’s not been taken yet.”

It was difficult, but Eugene resisted the urge to leap in with any sort of lewd comment.

“Right now, Claira St. Sure is the person to beat in Heritage.” Wayne added, “She’s the league leader and she’s undefeated.”

Eugene nodded, albeit worriedly.

“But that’s because she’s not come across you yet.” Said Wayne jabbing the game case into his brother’s chest. “She’s not going to stand a chance going toe to toe with Eugene Dewey.”

The confidence Wayne had just injected him with made Eugene puff out his chest and smile proudly. He was so proud in fact that he completely forgot about the ‘come across’ joke that had popped into his head seconds earlier.

“I don’t want you to go counting your chickens, Dude,” Said Wayne as he put the case back on the shelf, “But I think you’ve got a fantastic chance this week... Now, are you getting anything or not? Because I got a text from mom about twenty minutes ago asking if we’re ready to go.”

Apparently their taxi was waiting.
 

CCJ

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[It’s a nice day.]

[Not too hot.]

[Not too cold.]

[Birds dance gracefully in the wind, and people walking the streets do so a little slower; enjoying the serenity of the sunshine upon their faces.]

[Yet, not King COOL.]

[The wrestler, not the singer.]

[Say it real fast and maybe you’ll get it.]

[You see, instead of basking in the wonderful outside world, Cancer is hermitting away within the surprisingly cozy confines of his hotel room.]

[That said, alone King COOL rests with his ass sunken through a plush chair cushion. His feet are lazily resting atop a coffee table, and his fingers are snugly interlocked in such a way to support the back of his always styling hairdo.]

[From the look of it, seems as if the Philly native has forgone with the Holiday Inn’s no smoking policy, being a cloud of smoke created by not smoking cigarettes lingers about him.]

“Like. A. Fiddle.”

[King COOL whispers with poop-grin agape.]

“I didn’t even win, and I won anyway.”

“_That_ COOL.”

[The formerly homeless Defiance star begins nodding his head in self righteous agreement.]

“Guess it’s safe to say The Conquistador of COOL is back to his old tricks.”

[You can’t see it, but said Conquistador raises up a good seven eyelashes due to his head filling with hot air.]

“HA! NO JEFF, why don’t YOU join ME for the main event!”

[POP! His head explodes.]

[Just kidding.]

“AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. HAHAHAHAHHAHA.

[The COOL as CANCER T-shirt wearing, always T-shaded up donning, Slayer of ALLLLLLLLLLLlllllllllllllllllLLLLLLLLL Mongoloids chokes for air between breath-stealing gasses.]

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA.

“HA.”

“OHMAIGAWD is he a doltapotamus~!”

[New word alert.]

“NOT_ ONLY did he get tricked into basically becoming my doorman, BUT then his precious little vixen gets handed her walking papers, too.”

“BAD?”

“NIGHT?”

MUCH?”

[Lord COOL shakes his head, almost feeling sorry for his arch nemesis.]

“I think so.”

[A shrug.]

“Oh well.”

[With that, any feeling of remorse towards his arch nemesis is now erased.]

“That’s what you get when you play with COOL.”

[One of Cancer’s old/brand new slogans.]

[In the midst of all this shameless esteem-boasting, a gentle knock is heard at the door.]

“Who is it?”

“It’s Whammy.”

[For those who don’t know, Whammy, aka Whammy Jammy, was once King COOL’s manager/lawyer/assistant/confidant/butler/great grandfather figure.]

[Okay, maybe not great. But the dude is old. And extremely precise. And humble. And for some reason believes in Cancer Jiles.]

[Also, you should know Whammy gets paid for what he does.]

“Don’t you have a key?”

“No, remember you insisted I leave it in the room.”

“Oh... I did? Well, I’m kind of laying down right now, so it might take a while.”

“Okay, but you’re never going to believe who’s in the Heritage main event.”

[Overly excited, The Mongoloid Slayer springs from his chair, almost pulling a hammy in the process. He scorches his way towards the door, and abruptly stops just millimeters away from a violent collision.]

[Ripping open the door, Whammy is revealed in all of his three piece suit wearing glory.]

“IT BETTER BE FOCKING ME.”

[Whammy cracks a smile.]

“It is.”

“AND WHO DOES THE GREAT KING COOL FACE?”

[Seconds, that seem like hours, pass.]

“Christian Light.”

[Wincing like he bit into an onion, Cancer responds.]

Who?”

You must be stoned. He is the guy who won the TLC match.”

[A scowl comes over The Count’s face. Unamused with Whammy’s unwillingness to play along, he slams the door shut before his old pal could enter.]

“That’ll teach him.”

[Whammy, after a beleaguered sigh, turns and starts heading towards the elevators. While waiting for his ride he receives a text.]

[It reads: need more beverages]

[Whammy sighs again.]

[Indeed it would seem so... that Cancer the COOL is back up to his old tricks that is.]
 

DEF_Vagabond

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"How She Met He" and DIAMOND SHAZAM is a biiiig boy.

- VAGABOND (Voiceover) -
"Lotta people like to start with a joke, or a recap of their most recent victory--or to complain about a loss that wasn't their fault--and then move into discussion about what they plan on doin' next; whose ass is gonna get handed to whom, and all that good stuff. And then they'll probably finish with a rant on how stinkless they think their sh!t is, because they'd never admit they're so totally full of it. Everybody's got an ego. Everybody's got an a-hole, too, and they all stink.

"So where does that leave humble me? Well, I spent the first couple of years wrestling in high school gymnasiums, friends' backyards, at fundraisers, etc. I've stocked shelves, flipped patties, unloaded and reloaded delivery trucks, painted houses, cleaned offices and class rooms, and basically whored myself out to any Tom, Dick and Harry who had a few bucks to float my way while I trained in the ring four nights a week and particpated in eight or more shows per month. I got tired... so when the opportunity to move up came along, I took it. I quit my job, packed my duffel bag, hit the road, and now I'm here. Ta-da!

"But where is here?

DEFIANCE WRESTLING
Employment Terms & Conditions


"... is what the contract said. But that's as far as I got. I have adult-ADHD. Nobody reads TOS agreements anyway... right? Well, they then gave me a few instructions, told me where I needed to be and when I needed to be there, and then they sent me on my merry way. Problem is: I have no way of getting there. They didn't mention an airplane would be waiting for me... They didn't tell me where to pick up a rental car... Not a word about the hotel I'd be staying at. You know, I'm starting to think it's up to me to arrange that stuff. And to think I'd been dreaming about the thousand different ways I was gonna blow my sign-on bonus. Guess I'm gonna have to use it for boring stuff instead. Le sigh. I might as well hire an unattractive personal assistant while I'm at it.

"Speaking of unattractive assistants, my friends DUNCAN BRENNAN and "BABYFACE" BAXTER are--... Wait, where was I going with that? Oh, right--they'll be tagging along with me to my debut in the Dee-Dub. Well, actually, I just need DUNCAN to let me borrow his ride. But since he won't let me drive it, he's coming along. Anyway, I hear I'll have my hands full right from the start. Some three-hundred-pound behemoth named DIAMOND SHAZAM is gonna be my first opponent on LIVE television. Take that and add my buck-fifty, there's gonna be over four-hundred-and-fifty pounds rollin' 'round in that ring. You wouldn't see THAT at a high school fundraiser. Shoot, half the time the places we wrestled couldn't afford a legit set-up and we wrestled on floor mats instead. But aside from the chance that the ring might implode, I'm not that worried. Though the bigger they are, the harder they fall... God, I sure hope that's true. In which case I'll just have to out-maneuver him till he's depleted. Then, one solid Roundhouse Kick to the temple should finish 'im off.

"But I don't wanna talk about that right now, because right now I'm at the beach, and I swear on my dead mother's grave I just saw the best ass I've ever seen. Man, you gotta love bikinis and 90-degree weather. I know this guy does."

----------
SCENE ONE: "How I Met My Booty Call"

Location: @ the Beach

Featuring: VAGABOND and a Potential Piece of Ass
----------

Target spotted, VAGABOND stands up from his beach chair, readjusts his broken sunglasses, and "swags" after the girl with the "best ass he'd ever seen." "Just Can't Get Enough" by the Black Eyed Peas blasts from the speakers of a parked Jeep nearby, but it's not so loud that we can't hear VAGABOND break the ice with the girl once he catches up with her.

[Vagabond]
"Are you real, or am I having an hallucination from all this hot weather?"

"Nope, I'm pretty sure I exist," she smiles shyly. "Is there something I can help you with?"

[Vagabond]
"Actually, there is. I heard there's a new restaurant a few blocks away, just opened up. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"I dunno, does this restaurant have a name?"

[Vagabond]
"That's the part I was hoping you'd know."

Vagabond smiles all wide and innocent. Whatever effect he was hoping to have on this girl, it seemed to be working.

[Vagabond]
"My name's Tim. Friends call me Vagabond."

"Vagabond? As in, a drifter? A wanderer?"

[Vagabond]
"Pretty much. It was the best I could come up with when a few buddies and I got together and started a backyard wrestling federation. Silly kid stuff."

"I think it's cute," she smiles. "My name's Alex. Friends call me Lex."

[Vagabond]
"And that's short for Alexandria?"

[Lex]
"Nope. Alexanndra, pronounced exactly as it's spelt."

[Vagabond][/B
"People getting confused?"

[Lex]
"Oh, you better believe it."

LEX bends down to retrieve a volleyball at her feet. V-BOND takes his sunglasses off and tosses them in the direction of his sunbathing equipment. This is all completely irrelevant, but some people like a little scene description.

[Vagabond]
"So that restaurant I mentioned earlier..."

[Lex]
"I think you might be talking about my daddy's new diner."

[Vagabond]
"No way."

He knew all along.

[Lex]
"Yep, Lee's Diner. If you'd like, I'm actually headed there now. I'm closing tonight."

[Vagabond]
"What a terrible waste of such a beautiful day."

Says the man still waiting desparately for the sign-on bonus from DEF to clear the bank because he hasn't had work in nearly a month.

[Lex]
"I think daddy's hiring. Would you like to put in an application? I can get you one."

Right away VAGABOND realizes her angle.

[Vagabond]
"Now, now... No need to take pity on me. In fact, I have a job, I just--"

[Lex]
"--Oh, that's not what I was--"

[Vagabond]
"--It's all right, really--"

[Lex]"
--You're still more than welcome to come see the place."

LEX smiles, VAGABOND'S knees start to buckle...

[Vagabond]]
"Sure! Just lemme grab my things and I'll meet you over there."

VAGABOND points toward the beach entrance.

[Lex]
"K."

Speaking of which, don't you hate when people text that one letter? Like, seriously. Anyhow, our video is cut short as the intent of which has come to a conclusion. Cheerio!
 
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SpookyDoom

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Diamond Shazam in: a video review

FADE TO... a director's chair, "Diamond Shazam" stenciled on the back in filigree. Sitting on the fold-out chair, of course, is Diamond Shazam. We find the self-proclaimed Mastodon of Fashion carefully studying a video package presented via 35mm movie projector. Seriously old school equipment, the soft whirl of spinning reels fill the air and frames skip every so often on the screen, colors appearing in faded sepia tones... which is all rather strange considering the video in question is that of the Vagabond's latest interview for Defiance Wrestling.

A close-up reveals Diamond Shazam deep in thought, eyes severe and brow furrowed pensively underneath a ridiculous black beret, the former cinema student obviously fancying himself some sort of movie director. Imperiously raising a small remote to the air, Diamond Shazam puts a stop to the projection and rises to his feet. With arms folded behind his back, he suddenly turns towards the camera, addressing the audience directly.

Diamond Shazam: "I have a question... Vagabond, why didn't you murder the woman?"

What follows is more pontificating from the gaudilly painted puro-trained sociopath in the plaited hakama skirt. Self-assured in his demeanor, Diamond Shazam carefully explains himself like some manner of university professor dressed up like a circus freak (with a little beret), waving the remote like a wand, expounding on every little detail of his discourse.

Diamond Shazam: "You see, I've recently received this memo from a "Jeb Andrew" stating that what I had actually signed up to was a wrestling company. Of all things! Now that's just peachy keen but with that comes the matter of whether or not I'll be facing actual wrestlers."

"You see, I know wrestlers. I've seen wrestlers before. Some people even said that I look like a wrestler! They're big and strong with huge bulging muscles and not at all like you, but most importantly of all they're mean and all about hurting everyone in their way."

"Like that nice woman you met on your way to the beach."

"So unless the continuation of your video involves you suplexing that young woman on her head, then I'm afraid we just cannot be friends. That would be sad. I don't want to say a bad word here, but I HATE people who don't take their roles seriously. Embrace your destiny, I say: crush the btch and make her suffer, break her supple back across your knee and humiliate her for all to see! Show me that you're as excited about this match as I am, because I can't wait to do all these things to you once we meet in the ring, darling!"

Diamond Shazam breaks out in maniacal laughter, hooting uproariously, fitful giggles choking up in his throat. A wanton, terrifying display of insanity serving as abrupt change to the previous scholarly display. He steadies himself on the fold-out chair, lifts it up as a weapon (against who? who knows!) but is unsatisfied by its lack of heft. So he decides to use the chair for a novel purpose. He decides sitting on it. Crossing his legs, Diamond Shazam faces the camera and regains his senses.

Diamond Shazam: "Oh I don't want to hurt you, Vagabond; I want to help you! And hurt you! And crush you, decapitate you and smear you all across my feet; but that doesn't mean I hate you! Well you do come off as some skinny ass little hipster but I can help that too! Proper diet, for instance: when was the last time you swallowed a steel chair? I say, not long enough!"

"Now I want you to drop everything you were doing and concentrate only on ME. I'm the star, darling, not that painted up little hussy of yours. Unless... wait, you think she's prettier than I? YOU HORRID SKINNY ASS LOTHARIO! My make-up is in far better taste! Tell you what, I'll go find her, interrogate her in my own special manner, and after a while I'll look just like her! Oooooo, hoo hoo hoo; the things I do to keep my opponents happy!"

And then just to prove a point, he uncrosses his legs, revealing the "space" between his legs underneath his hakama skirt. Sharon Stone he is not.

Diamond Shazam: "I just wanted to show you the kind of person I was, Vagabond. I'm a consummate professional no matter what role I play: artist, director, destroyer... I'm just perfect in every way! So let's make the night perfect, Vagabond. We'll beat each other senseless, bath the arena in blood and make everyone suffer. Starting with those around us. Can't wait to see the next video!"

The camera slowly fades out as Diamond Shazam continues to giggle madly in anticipation. For him, the day of his television debut cannot come soon enough. END.
 

BigPimpin

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Taking Care Of Business

"I won."

[Fade up.]

[This site should look awfully familiar. Black background with a Heritage logo smack dab in the middle of the camera shot. Not much else...if it was the same set Cancer Jiles used for his promo, the plant is now gone, replaced with a wooden stool whose top can barely be seen at the bottom center of the screen.]

[After a second, walking in from stage left is The Last Nighthawk. He’s got a black Heritage logo T-Shirt on, and he’s carrying a briefcase. Said briefcase should look familiar; it’s the same one that was pulled down from the ceiling at the end of the ESEN mega show.]

“The Last Nighthawk” Christian Light:
I don't think it hit me right away. Be it shell-shock from such a hellacious beating or adrenaline from standing atop a ladder for the first time in my career, holding aloft the object of victory, it really didn't sink in fully. It wasn't until I went home the next day...until I was watching my kids try to pack each other in this briefcase...

[Light holds the briefcase up...well, briefly, for emphasis.]

Light:
...that I finally realized the magnitude of my accomplishment.

Six men stood before each other, each claiming to be the best Defiance had to offer. And at the end, I was the last man standing.

For that night, I truly was the best Defiance had to offer.

Take a moment to absorb that, because with all the operational problems we've had delaying the next show, the sheer magnitude of that statement may get a little lost. Heck, I was there, and it didn't occur to me until the next day.

As I reflect back to that night I can't help but feel humbled by the magnitude of the feat I had accomplished. I feel like I've set the bar very high for myself going forward if I want to match this on a consistent basis, and I hope I can make myself, the Heritage League, and the great fans of the Heritage League proud.

[A moment’s pause.]

Light:
But now...back to reality.

[Light leans over, setting the briefcase on the stool before stepping in front of both and refocusing on the camera.]

Light:
On to the next show and some new business. Unfortunately, not all of it is glamorous, but it’s gotta get done, right? Today we're going to handle our business in size order.

Alceo.

Really, I thought you'd be over it by now. I thought you'd be too busy picking splinters out of your own skin to worry about getting under mine, even if it just happened to be some kind of warning for the future.

I guess I was wrong.

Should we meet again sometime in the future, the song will remain the same. You'll threaten my family...my wife, my kids...and the only thing it will get you is laid out in the center of the ring in agonizing pain. The only big difference is that there will be no chairs to swing, no tables to tumble through, and no ladders to climb.

It'll be just you and me.

Promise.

[Pause.]

Light:
I've got myself a tall task this week. I'm facing off against the one man in Heritage League that gained more points than I did this past supershow...

...even if he needed some lawyers to hide behind.

He is one Cancer Jiles, the other man that went rear over teakettle at the end of the TLC match.

I suspect that now you know, Cancer, why I cut loose on you in your "hospitalized state" last show. I found it very hard to believe that an athlete of your conditioning, no matter how vapid in personality, got your face so viciously broken, even if it was the notoriously tough Jeff Andrews channeling all his hate into each and every punch.

So I made a guess.

I figured you were playing us...or were trying to at least. I figured you'd come in at the most advantageous time for you and you'd come out to try and claim what you believed to be yours. And as it turns out, my guess was right. Only thing I missed was that I figured you'd be milking some kind of broken nose and wear some protective headgear to swing around like another weapon.

You did everything in your power to try and steal that win out from under the rest of us.

You came pretty close to succeeding, too.

Jack Bryant...Eugene Dewey...ten tough points to you. You may have had Alceo, too, had you not been interrupted by Eugene.

But when the time came to grab the briefcase, guess who was there to trip you up?

[FLASH: ESEN Footage: Christian Light reaches through the ladder and pulls Cancer’s legs from off the ladder, causing him to fall and get caught.]

Light:
Guess who was there to send you for a fall?

[FLASH: The ladder containing Alceo and Cancer Jiles falls, sending both men out of the ring and through several tables stacked on top of one another on the floor.]

Light:
And guess who was the one to stop you just short of winning it all?

[FLASH: Christian Light retrieves the briefcase, ending the match.]

Light:
One inch closer, one more second, and you may have claimed all of 25 points on your own.

But it didn't quite work out, did it?

And now it's you and I, one on one.

The COOL one versus The Last Nighthawk.

Two of the big guns in Defiance, mano a mano for the first time ever anywhere.

I'm ready. I hope you are, too.

Or it’s going to be a very short, disappointing main event.

[End.]
 

The Great Eye

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Re: Taking Care Of Business

Ryoko and JGX were walking along a path on Ryoko’s estate. “Why the bodyslam challenge?” JGX asked in Japanese. “I thought you didn’t want me fighting in these side show attractions, I thought you wanted me to be fighting one on one matches with people to prove my worth.” His tone was a bit animated for him. He didn’t understand why he’d been taken out of a crazy handicap match and now put into a silly test of strength for his opponent.

“This is a way to showcase how big and massive you are, to truly begin marketing you the way you were meant to be marketed, as a giant monster, a force that can not be dealt with. And more importantly than that, this is something safe and easy for you to do. I’ve seen your knee giving you trouble, you’re a big man and on a grueling schedule in Defiance, you need to be able to do things to keep your body in working order before the playoffs, this body slam challenge won’t result in any injuries, except maybe for maybe Jack Cassidy’s lower back. You show up, look imposing, he fails, you celebrate, and that’s it.”

“What he if he comes after me after failing to slam me?” JGX replied, looking for holes in this plan. “Get into a fight with him until security breaks it up, then I’d guess you’ll fight him on the next show and beat the hell out of him for being dumb enough to take a shot at you after he failed to slam you, either way this won’t be as much of a danger as a real match.”

“The ring is always dangerous. He gets angry he can go get a chair, or something else handy to go to work on me.” JGX replied, he felt like he was gaining his footing in this relationship, that Ryoko wasn’t some great person ruling from on-high, he did understand her reasoning and he even accepted her idea as being a good one, but he wanted to push her to test her and see where her head was as, the last thing he wanted was to have spent all this time seeking her out and then finding out she’s just another Rebecca, another fan in over her head.

“You got the same access to the weapons at ringside as Cassidy does and if you want me to be your second, I can be out there, I’ve done this before, and my husband has more than taught me in the art of a cheap shot. Tasers carry the same punch wielded by a man or a woman.” Ryoko replied. She was cool and unemotional, JGX loved this reply, he felt like she has thought things out and did understand things, and he needed somebody like this.

“So I just hit the ring and let this poor fool struggle to try to lift me off the mat.” He now wanted to see her view on the challenge itself. “Maybe on the first couple of tries you should completely deadweight him, let him know what he’s got to try to get off the mat is more weight than he really thought there was, then on maybe the third or fourth try you can give him a little help at the start, let him start to get you up, then deadweight him right away, odds are once you’re a few inches off the ground and he’s really working for it, he’ll be unable to hold you if you don’t lean into him at all, and then you’ll just fall on top of him and crush him like a bug.” Ryoko flashed a devious smile as she said this, she seemed to relish in the idea of this man getting hurt in the attempts to slam JGX. JGX nodded and thought about this, it would be fun to do this to the guy, to get his hopes up for that one split second before having it all fall apart on him and also giving him a brutal impact into the mat for added insult.

“The key is to always remain in control, never help him if you feel like he’s honestly about to slam you, this is about showmanship, you have to give the crowd a little something or it’s boring and nobody will care, but you can’t give them too much or else you could put yourself in a spot where you could be slammed by this man and humiliated. If you ever feel like he could really slam you, fight it, shift your weight, do all you can to throw him off balance.”

JXG nodded “I have to put myself in danger to give the people a show. I guess this is the nature of the industry, one does not merely have to win in wrestling to be successful, one has to win in a manner that engaged the crowd.”

“Yes!” she replied she turned and gave him a piercing stare. “You’re starting to learn. You’ll figure this out soon enough, till then, eat some more food tonight, wouldn’t hurt to pay on 5-10 pounds before the challenge.

Ryoko walked away and JXG stood there thinking about what was said, and then he agreed, maybe he could pack on a few extra pounds just to seal the deal against Jack Cassidy. Never did he think eating would help him win something, but in this case it was the clear road to victory.
 

JeffOLW

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Re: Taking Care Of Business

[Fade up to Jack Cassidy at a Defiance backdrop.]

Jack:
You know, when I came to Defiance, one of the things I pretty much based who I was gonna be and what I was going to do here on, was on having a positive attitude. And I'm not going to just back off it. But I am going to say, real openly, that my Defiance career has been real, real trying. Everything I do collapses out from under me and turns into ****. And I've won a couple matches, I'm still in the game, but cos it hasn't been consistent, I'm not... no one thinks of me when they think about the people who could have an effect on the game. I'm not a free win, but I'm not important either. I just fill space.

And that was supposed to end this week. But, Jeff Andrews had to go sign up for an Ultratitle tournament. And somehow, even though I haven't even said 'hi' to him since I joined Defiance, that caused me to be too tired to get my game straight, and now I've got this bodyslam challenge, and I don't know who decided to put me in that. I weigh 188 pounds. Unless I weigh 204. I forget which weight I decided to come in here as, and I'm too tired to go check. Either way, I'm not scoop slamming a sumo wrestler, and I'm smart enough not to try.

But you know... I came real damn close to upsetting Dan Ryan a couple weeks ago. And I'm not gonna go emo mode. I'm going straight at JGX, I'll pretend to try and slam him if that's what the boys at the top want, and then, I'm unleashing the Ripper. And no, that doesn't mean I'm going to paint my face or use spooky music or start having a gimmick. Just that I'm gonna start putting a little more effort in. And then I'm gonna win matches. Just watch.
 

Lee R.

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Apr 18, 2012
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When Claira St. Sure had arrived backstage after her match and win against Heidi Christenson, Jonny Booya had been waiting behind the curtains. He’d picked her up in a celebratory bearhug and spun around, robbing her triumph of its dignity. Luckily the cameras hadn’t been filming, and Kai Scott had quickly rescued his client from his other client. He’d sent Claira back to the womens’ locker room to shower and soak, and then sat with Booya and Diane Parker and watched the TLC match that she didn’t get to be in on one of the backstage monitors.

“She could’ve had some of them there points.” Booya had said.

“She’s still the league leader at this time. Don’t get me wrong, she got robbed, but she’ll be alright. So far, no one’s been able to touch her, and that win over Heidi’s going to be good for her.”

Jonny briefly recalled when Kai was setting the Truly Untouchables up, when he and Claira were calling themselves LAREDO and RED respectively, Kai was playing emotional games with Jeff Andrews and arguing with him over the rights to the Untouchables name, and he’d been training Claira to be Heidi’s evil counterpart.

Every now and then he still got a little twinge across the back of his neck. But… he’d know exactly what Kai was the whole time, and he’d still gone along with it. It wasn’t his place to start playing the morality card.

Right?

An hour or so later, the TLC was over, Claira had soaked and showered, and Kai was walking her through the arena hallways. He always liked to be one of the last ones out of the building.

“I’m proud of you, you know.” He said to her quietly.

“Thanks…” She almost whispered.

Even now she could be difficult to read.

“So, how’d it feel.”

Claira stopped walking.

“Weird.”

Kai stopped, stood next to her, waiting to see if she was going to continue the thought. Whether she decided on her own or just thought he wanted her to and did, he didn’t know.

“You been telling me for so long how great Heidi Christenson is. And then to just beat her like that. I don’ know. But when I got her in that leg lock and she tapped, I did not hate her anymore. An’ I know she had a injury before. I did not want to hurt her… well not more than enough to win the match.”

“So you dropped the hold immediately and then asked if you’d injured her.” Kai finished the sentence.

“Yeah. Then she said she was ok. I helped her up, and then she hugged me. “

“Heidi Christenson…” Kai said, “is a good person, no matter what Elijah Goldman and Alceo Dentari want to say about her. She’s proven herself many a time, to people who actually matter, and all she’ll ever have to do to make the fans care again is say ‘Hi I’m back’ and tap some dude out. But I wouldn’t expect her back in time to finish the tournament. She’s endorsed you. Now don’t let it go to your head and don’t waste it.”


=-=-=


“Wayne, Eugene, I’ve got a little issue with your take on Claira.”

[Open up to Kai Scott. He doesn’t require anything more than the backdrop of a cinderblock wall to talk.]

Kai Scott:
To call Claira St. Sure a ‘n00b’ is to completely not understand what she has on her side.

[He leans back against the wall.]

Kai Scott:
I quit gaming when I took up pro wrestling in the late 90s, but I used to be a bit of a gamer. I was working on Final Fantasy 3 low level games back then, back long enough ago that it was before they changed the number to 6. Haven’t ever played World of Warcraft. I tried one MMORPG, Everquest 2. Jeffro talked me into creating a character, I made a ratman Brigand named Raykor. I got him to level 15, and when I looked up, it had gotten dark. I played that damn game 11 hours straight and didn’t even realize. So I said to myself, “No more MMORPGS, ever, ever again”, and that was it. But I learned the words pretty well. And here’s where you’ve gone wrong.

[Smirk.]

Kai Scott:
First of all, Claira is not a n00b. At most, she is a newbie. And she’s only new to Defiance. She started wrestling at the end of 2008. She was a newbie during her WfWA days, when she was mistreated. So then she spent a couple years in Mexico. I suppose you could call that ‘ragequitting the server’. And now she’s in Defiance. If you must call her a newbie to high end content, do so, but calling her a newbie is factually incorrect.

[He bounces his crutch in his right hand.]

Kai Scott:
And the other thing to keep in mind about Claira St. Sure is that she most certainly does have a clue what’s coming. There’s a difference, in fact, between a mere newbie, and a newbie who’s being coached, and when necessary powerleveled, by the guy with the third highest melee DPS parse on the server, and in the top 50 gamewide.

[Nod.]

Kai Scott:
Also, I don’t let her get overconfident. Bronson Box, he probably refused to take Eugene seriously no matter how many times he lost, because to admit that Eugene was a threat was to admit that his lifelong quest for Violent Perfection was misguided and useless. Claira doesn’t have any such preconceptions. All she knows is that Eugene doesn’t know the first thing about mat wrestling, that he’s got no defense against her leg kicks, and that if she puts him in a triangle choke he might have a heart attack.

[Laugh.]

Kai Scott:
By the way, I specifically suggested she avoid any moves that might give Eugene a heart attack. You can thank me later. …Or never. Whichever.

[End.]
 

Damien

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Apr 6, 2012
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Nice and simple. Eugene and Wayne's slapdash 'Definace' banner, yes that's correct, Eugene's spelling can be pretty atrocious, hung over the old wardrobe that sat in the back corner of their mom's basement. In front of it stood our heroes, Eugene was a little too focused on his iPhone, which he held sideways and gawked at gormlessly with his tongue stuck out of the side of his mouth. Wayne on the other hand, cracked his knuckles and shook his head.

"I wondered when you guys would be showing your faces." Wayne said as though he would have given Kai Scott a little fist bump on the shoulder to say 'well done' had he been stood next to him, "We had to set this up for our ULTRATITLE put down of Troy Windham, and it seemed a shame to let it go to waste, so we thought we'd utilise it on Claira as well. Is that OK, Kai?"

With a wave of his arm Wayne gestured to the setup behind them. He turned back with a smug grin and nodded as if to say "Chyeah, *****es."

"You're not going to go taking too much of an issue with that are you?" He said through the aforementioned grin.

Wayne mimed bouncing something off the floor before failing to catch it.

"Guess I'm not as slick as some people, huh?" He said with a laugh, "And I guess I'm not as smart as some people either. What was your nickname when you were competing, Kai? It wouldn't happen to be Kai 'The Walking Urban Dictionary' Scott, would it?"

Wayne looked to his brother out of the corner of his eye before turning his head slight. But Eugene was still far too engrossed in whatever he was playing on his iPhone to laugh at what his brother was saying. Not even a sharp elbow to the ribs could break his concentration.

"Anyway..." Continued Wayne as he rolled his eyes and looked back to the camera in front of him, "You’re right, calling Claira a newbie would be factually incorrect. It’s just a good job we didn’t do such a foolish thing. We called her, as you were so kind to point out, a noob. Now, I could prattle on and on for days about the differences between a noob and a newbie, but I really don't have time for that. I will say, however, it does seem to me that you don’t have a complete grip on the lingo you claim to have mastered in half a day."

He flicked his wrist to check out his watch and raised his eyebrows as he read the time.

"Oh shoot, like I said, limited time and all, so I'd better get a wriggle on. But there is something I would really, desperately, like to point out..." Wayne added with a smile, "And that’s that thanks to guys like Jimmy Cole, and Brandon Marsh, My boy here...”

A loud clap rang out as Wayne hit his brother on the shoulder much harder than was neccessary. Still, he didn’t remove his eyes from the phone in his hands.

“Has had so many dead legs over the years that he's lost almost all feeling in them.” Said Wayne, “Claira can throw those kicks all day and all night without even making a dent in Eugene's defence. But, seeing as I don’t have a chubby for underestimating people either, I’ll have to acknowledge what would happen if through some miracle she does manage to take Eugene off of his feet and apply that triangle choke..."

Pause for effect.

"Well that's just it..." He said, "If."

Wayne headed into the camera, quite satisfied with his output, but stopped in his tracks and walked back to his brother's side.

"Oh, and one more thing..." Said Wayne doing his very best Columbo, "I don't suppose you have a video of Claira's shower and soak, do you? If you do, could you forward it on to us? It would be very much appreciated."
 

CCJ

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Apr 8, 2012
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[Cancer Jiles.]

[T-shades engaged.]

“Okay.”

“Technically, you won Mr. Light Box Twenty. Congrats, you deserve it. It was a big match. A big spot. A big shine. The fans love you even more now, and since skyrocketing to the tippy-tops of their feeble hearts, maybe you’ll go on to rid the world of this deadly disease.”

Maybe.”

[Pondering the many mysteries, Cancer scratches at his chin.]

“Not one to hand out due respect, but even I must say that’s quite thee accomplishment.”

“...being you’re new and all.”

[A grin.]

“Remember, bring your Beginner's Luck charm when coming into my ring, on MY show, in MY main event, you Mongoloid.”

“...a big gun.”

[Cancer shakes his head in disbelief.]

“Focking clown.”
 

DEF_Vagabond

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Apr 9, 2012
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StylingVagabondFullyDressed.png
(In a room all by himself)​

The 24-year-old Vagabond is shown sitting behind a simple fold-out table as our feed comes to life. On cue, Vagabond pulls out a pouch of some kind. He unzips it and starts pulling out what appear to be pill bottles. He sets them up evenly across the table. There's at least a dozen of 'em. He folds the empty pouch neatly and sets it down on his lap. Done with that, Vagabond looks up at the camera and it seems he's ready to talk.

[Vagabond]
"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Social Anxiety Disorder. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Bi-Polar Disorder. Depression. They've all got the word 'disorder' in them. Except the last one, which is more like an end-result of having the other five chemical imbalances. How one man can have so much chaos goin' on inside his head and still manage to live a semi-normal life is beyond me. But that's why I've got more perscriptions than Carter's got pills.

"I'm on Paxil to help me cope with the anxiety I feel whenever I'm in a room with more than five people. Wellbutrin to treat the depression. I'm also on a fistful of other medications that help me... be me. If I stop taking them, I get a little hostile. But the great people at the clinic tell me it's not my fault. It's because I had a rough childhood, they say. Phew! If they weren't able to confirm that I wouldn't know what was goin' on inside my head.

"I'm being sarcastic, of course. I know what happened to me. I was a mama's boy, through and through. When she got sick with pneumonia and didn't go to the hospital to be treated... well, let's just say the last thing I ever asked my mother for was a bowl of freakin' ice cream. I like to tell myself the last thing I ever said to her was 'I love you, mommy.' But thirteen years later, it's hard to remember right. It's hard to remember anything.

"She's gone. That's the only thing I know for certain."

Vagabond leans forward in his chair and picks up one of the perscription bottles.

[Vagabond]

"A pill for this, a pill for that. I'm even on blood-pressure medicine. Can you believe that? I'm 24-years-old, for cryin' out loud! But they say I'm at risk for heart disease because--lucky me--it runs in my family.

"If they'd just legalize marijuana already I wouldn't need all these pills. Oh, but Uncle Sam knows best. Marijuana is a no-no. Coming from the same people who denied me when I tried enlisting in the military because I'm on Wellbutrin. Now it's a crime to get the help you need, I guess. Supposedly, you can't 'feel okay' and serve your country at the same time. Need I remind them that Wellbutrin is not a hallucinogen? Those dumb f*cks. I would've done my country proud."

Vagabond sets the pill bottle back down in its place on the table.

[Vagabond]
"The reason why I'm tellin' you all this is because it's about damn time I did. There's a lot of sh!t I've kept bottled up inside me tighter than the child-proof lids on these pill bottles. I don't wanna end up like some of the other 'nutsy-coo-coo' people I've seen or read about. But if they keep pumpin' these pills into me, who knows?

"DIAMOND SHAZAM seems like a guy who might understand where I'm coming from. He seems a little... odd. Not that I have a problem with that, and I'm certainly not going to make fun of him for it. It's obvious that he needs help. So I'll offer him some. I don't know what I can do for him, but anything's better than feeling like you're all alone. You're not alone, DIAMOND. I'm right here.

"But I must warn you, I'm gonna have to hurt you first. It's outta my control, man. DEFIANCE wants all-star athletes, not a wounded-warrior project. And since they're the ones who sign my paychecks, I must do what they tell me. But if it's any consolation, I'll try to go easy on ya', all right?"

Vagabond looks down at the table with his head held low. It's almost like he's meditating.

[Vagabond]
"My best is all I can do. My best is all I can do. My best is all I can do."

By now he's started rocking himself back and forth in his chair, his head still hung.

[Vagabond]
"My best is all I can do. My best is all I can do. My best is all I can do."

Suddenly he 'snaps out of it' and lifts his head up, but his eyes are still closed.

[Vagabond]
"My best is all I can do."

His eyes open.

[Vagabond]
"And that's exactly what I'll do."

Vagabond unfolds the medicine pouch and starts to put the bottles away.

[Vagabond]
"Why do they even call it a 'disorder'? Isn't that what life is? Chaos and disorder. So if you've got a 'disorder,' aren't you just like everyone else? Which would make you 'normal.' Except there's no such thing as 'normal.' But we do have a bunch of pills we can throw at ya'.

"Hahahaha! It's all about what makes you good enough to get by, man. When that doesn't work anymore, there's always another combination of drugs your doctor can perscribe. You'll be better in no time."

Vagabond zips the pouch and stands up.

[Vagabond]
"But what do doctors know?

"DIAMOND, if you could ask them when you're in the emergency room after our match, I'd greatly appreciate it. I help you, you help me. We might have a friendship in the works.

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Laughing like a hyena, Vagabond struts over to the camera and our feed gets terminated.

 

Lee R.

Banned
Joined
Apr 18, 2012
Messages
127
Points
0
[CUTTO: Kai Scott and Claira St. Sure.]

[They're sitting at a computer, and on the computer monitor Wayne Dewey is talking, and Kai Scott pauses the video a second before it would have ended.]

Kai Scott: [speaking to Claira St. Sure]
And that is what we call 'being wrong about everything'. What we learned from all that is that Wayne Dewey has a flawed understanding of professional wrestling, gaming, and every day physics, and that he doesn't know how to construct an argument.

First point of order. Being a newbie, newb, noob, n00b or nub indicates a lack of knowledge and varying degrees of willingness to improve said knowledge. It can generally be assumed that a veteran of four years in the middle of a winning streak is none of the above, however.

Second point of order. If your legs are numb, you can't walk or balance, and you're more prone to being easily toppled and suffering permanent nervous damage.

Third point of order. It seems that Wayne has already forgotten that you knocked out and choked out the sumo wrestler who defeated his brother.

Final point of order. The jokes that people directed at Heidi that caused them to be branded 'stupid, uncreative motherfuckers' are no less stupid and uncreative when directed at you.
 
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