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Impulse/Cruise

TSiegel

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(Sudden static fills the screen halted by a black screen with white lettering that reads 'The following announcement is brought to you by the Dangle Brothers.' The screen goes static for a second before going to black and white, focusing on Cameron Cruise, dressed in slacks and a light sport coat and a darker undershirt, he wears his trademark Anarchy-style shades.)

CRUISE: Lemme get this straight....you're wearing the very same title that was around my waist and STOLEN from me....TWICE...and you're worried because I might show up to a match that YOU asked for....

(Cameras cut in close on him.)

And "assist"....Jared??

(Cameras cut back.)

THIS...is what's become of the guy who's held the Intercontinental Championship title??

THIS...coming from the NERD who won't use weapons to fend off....

(Camera cuts back in and Cruise uses finger-quotes)

"Evil-doers"....

(Camera cuts to a quick angle with Cruise laughing his ass off, slowly at first, then to another angle where his face lights up with laughter, and then finally to a third angle with Cruise doubled over laughing, before the camera cuts back.)

Gimmie a break....jeez.

Tell ya what, 'Pulse....

Jared told me earlier that he was serious when he said he was ready go after the Intercontinental Championship title....so you got your wish.

Jared Wells versus Impulse is GONNA happen.

And I'm gonna be at ringside to back him up.

And I'm still getting my title shot.

If I should decide that I don't like the way that the referee is making calls...I'm still going to be there to back up Jared.

And I'm STILL getting my title shot.

And afterwards...ya know...the part where YOU NO LONGER MATTER....

I'm still going to be there, and I'm STILL going to get my title shot.

Don't like it??

Tough.

(Camera cuts in.)

Don't be a LITTLE BITCH, be the Intercontinental Champion.

The Dangle Brothers don't answer to you and your little stipulations or anyone else's for that matter; remember Impulse...

YOU asked for it to happen.

Don't like HOW it's going to happen??

Gonna cry all the way home into your pillow like the KOOL-AID SIPPER YOU ARE??

Then you just go back to what your doing and take on Reeves.

Otherwise...we'll see you soon.

Sipper.

(Sudden static returns followed by 'The preceding announcement has been brought to you by the Dangle Brothers', followed by more static.)
 

User Poets

The Shadow Pope
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Re: Aggression 65: Detroit, Michigan

Hmmm.

Sorry, Cammy. Deal's off. Impulse has an open contract on the table for a title defense against anyone but Jared Wells.

Why? Because Cameron Cruise doesn't realize he's my co-worker, not my boss. Matter of fact, I don't care what the situation calls for. Unless Cameron Cruise agrees to my terms, Jared Wells will never get a shot at the Intercontinental Championship.

Thank your brother, Dangler.
 

TSiegel

I spoil things.
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Re: Aggression 65: Detroit, Michigan

Then as your "Co-Worker"...I choose not to work with you.

Not that I planned on doing anything during that match but watch Jared's back.

Just like Jim Irsay decided not to work with Peyton Manning, I'm putting this as amicably as possible:

You're a liar, a thief, a sipper and last if not least...a BITCH; but you go right ahead and do what you will, Impulse.

For someone that swears he's not afraid of ANYONE who wants a shot and will offer ANYONE a shot at the Intercontinental Championship...looks like the Dangle Brothers finally found an exception to the rule.

And that's too bad....because that puts you right up there with The First.

A Coward.

In every sense of the word.

As for Reeves??

Good luck, kid, I hope you pull it off.

Because if you do...maybe you'll have more balls than Impulse to offer Jared the first crack at it.

In the meantime...we'll just wait and see.
 

User Poets

The Shadow Pope
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Cameron Cruise eats Jared Wells' boogers

There's no graphics or fancy letterbox images to start this off, since the special effects don't do much but say 'I don't think what I say can hold your attention EXPLOSIONS!'

Sorry, Cammy.

"Let's run the list, Cameron."

"Liar."

"I think I need to call you on that. I told you what the stipulations would be for Jared Wells getting a shot at my Championship, and you said 'What eva, I do what I want!' So since you're such a rebel that you won't agree to the very simple condition by which I offer a match to Jared Wells, then the deal is off."

"Can we agree that by saying You get a match, if--' and you don't agree to the 'if,' that the match was never really signed to begin with?"

"I'd think that a man like you, who was apparently robbed of the Intercontinental Championship twice, would appreciate the fact that I want this title to change hands without outside interference. Or can the last danglers of Anthology only win matches when they're helping each other?"

"Or do the rules simply not apply to you because you don't want them to?"

"Say what you will about me, Cammy - everyone does - but have you noticed that the same standards I apparently force on everyone else, I hold myself to?"

"Thief."

"I think we can agree that you're just making up words. I've never stolen anything in the wrestling business."

"Seriously. Do you really expect anyone to take you seriously when you start saying words that you think make you powerful and influential but actually mean nothing?"

"Sipper."

You can't see this, but I took the glass of water in front of me and sipped from it. Refreshing.

"Sure."

"Is that like when something suspicious happens and Rosie tells me that it was 'hexed'? If nobody understands your slang, nobody cares what you're saying. Just something to think about."

"The real tragedy, Cameron, is that I actually believe you. I think you'd go out there with your boy Jared Wells, and you'd sit there and watch the match and cheer when he's doing well and boo when he isn't, and as long as I don't break the rules you'd let the match roll out as it will, even if your boy lost."

"But your actions over the course of the past few weeks necessitated my taking some precautions, because I don't want anyone to steal this Championship. If your boy, Jared, can win this belt without your help, why would it matter if I said I don't want you to help him?"

"I notice you said you'd assist him all you want when you thought he had a match, and turned around to say that you were just going to watch as soon as I took it back. Who's the liar, Cameron?"

"I repeat: please let your boy know that he had a title shot on the table and waiting for him, but that your stubbornness caused it to disappear."

Good luck against The First, though - you're going to need it.

"Two final thoughts, Cameron. You called me a nerd."

l.jpg

"Nerds are hot."

"You also called me a b'tch. Considering the fact that this entire back and forth over a title shot for Jared Wells took place without a single syllable emerging from the voice of Jared Wells... well..."

"Who's the b'tch, Cameron?"

"I have a mirror for you to borrow if you can't figure it out."
 

The Great Eye

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(FADEIN: The First standing in a doorway, face painted like The Crow. First is wearing all black with his personalized EPW World Title Belt over his shoulder.)

FIRST: You know that scene where The Crow walks into the room and says "Gentlemen" and then jumps on the table...Well, this is sorta like that...Only in this case the part of Skank is being played by Cameron Cruise. You feel like a little worm on a big fucking hook now don't you Cammy? You couldn't let your title shot be good enough for you, had to get a swelled head and an ego about everything and had to start telling people what they were going to do and how they were going to do it.

Man alive I think Impulse has even more sense than I do because he was smart enough to pull his offer off the table from Jared Wells and thus doesn't have to get himself anywhere near the vortex of insanity that is your pathetic life...He gets to fight Stalker who's just a run-of-the-mill cut your throat and laugh as you bleed out maniac...

There is a reason I called him "The Lunatic" when I was wearing the mask.

But you...You Cruise are like a child on a sugar high, I gave you the attention you wanted with a title shot and it's all gone right to your head, got you all bent out of shape...Now you're puffing out your chest, now you're the tough guy...

Cammy, give me a break...You're not a tough guy, you're an object lesson to the locker room, you're a warning and a symbol of what happens to people who mess with me...

They get hurt.

They get BADLY hurt.

This isn't about you winning the EPW World Title Cammy. This is about the rest of the boys in the locker looking at what I do to you and asking themselves if they really want to get in the ring for the title and risk having THAT happen to them...This is about you being the canary in the coal mine warning everyone that it's getting REALLY unsafe and that they all better get out of town right quick or else things are gonna go from bad to worse.

So you back off the esteemed IC Title holder and you come at me with your babbling and gibberish, and we'll have our little war of words, and then we'll get in that ring and let me make this simple for you.

I'm going to change your life forever.

And not in a good way.

(FADEOUT)
 

TSiegel

I spoil things.
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Impulse is a WANNABE.

(Sudden static fills the screen halted by a black screen with white lettering that reads 'The following announcement is brought to you by the Dangle Brothers.' The screen goes static for a second before going to black and white, focusing on Cameron Cruise, dressed in slacks and a light sport coat and a darker undershirt, he wears his trademark Anarchy-style shades.)

CRUISE: Like the CHILD he begs to be...

"Let's run the list, Cameron."

(Camera cuts to Cruise hanging his head for a split second before cutting back.)

CRUISE: Really?? Already?? I label you EXACTLY what you are...and you can't accept it for what it is??

(Camera cuts back in for a second.)

Some "Champ".

I mean, let's be honest here, 'Pulse....

(Camera cuts to Cruise adjusting his coat, dusting off his shoulders)

Do I look like an animated fatass from Colorado to you??

No...well...you might be, however I really could careless where YOU came from, the fact is that I'm in the best shape of YOUR life.

(Camera cuts to Cruise, mockingly making a stern look on his face.)

So let's run the list.

I called you what I called you because you're ARE what I called you.

You're a liar, Impulse because for someone who likes the idea of defending a title AS significant as the Intercontinental title, not just on an occasional basis, but EVERY WEEK....you won't defend it against Jared Wells.

Not a pretender, as you seem to be, but a CONTENDER like Jared IS.

See, Jared said he was ready to go after that title....but you're the one that offered the challenge for it before Lesbian could make a judgement call on just what Wells had to go through to GET the shot.

And you won't give him a shot because you're afraid that I might step in and kick the **** out of you??

What's the matter, Impulse??

(Cruise holds up both hands and shakes both his hands, mocking what may or may not be the Intercontinental Champion's fear.)

You "scurred"??

(Camera cuts to a side view of Cruise)

I mean, who's to say I'm not willing to hang out with the fellas at the announcer's table, why must it be that you think I'm going to "get involved" somehow??

Am I the one competing for it?? Not hardly...I've got MY shot at changing history, this one WAS supposed to be Jared's.

Until you stole it, that is, taking away the one thing that every person sitting in those seats "watching you compete" that wants to see SOMEONE ELSE get a shot at putting the world on its' ass other than the same SIPPERS over and over again.

(Camera cuts back to a frontal view)

And that makes you a THIEF.

(Cruise wags his right index finger toward the camera)

And osh-osh-ba-gosh, Impulse...everyone knows that you just CANNOT have that.

NO-sir.

Jared?? He's been winning titles on his own for YEARS, just as I have myself, especially against Troy Douglas and Donovan Astros, the former milestone being WHILE Jared and I ran Anthology.

(Camera cuts to a view with Cruise crossing his arms across his chest)

Or are you THAT ignorant to the league history that holds records of the very title you have in your possession??

(Cruise pokes himself in the chest with his right thumb)

EYE...am telling you that you DON'T hold the same standards you claim you do, because if you DID...you wouldn't mind my being at ringside.

(Cruise points at the camera)

Wouldja??

I'm taken seriously because people know that they're gonna watch someone in the beginning stages of MORNING-AFTER-SORENESS get a beating from either yours truly or Jared Wells.

(Camera cuts in)

Seriously.

Here's something to think about; the Dangle Brothers single-handedly REVOLUTIONIZED this business.

When Anthology was born...it was the Dangle Brothers that made it happen.

When Anthology was full-steam ahead...

(Cruise makes a 'horn-honking' fist pump)

It was OUR doing.

And when Anthology broke up....the world as YOU know it, screeched to a halt.

People stopped caring.

Hell, outside of when I was on television, but ESPECIALLY when you were on television, people stopped WATCHING, as a matter of fact, there's strong rumor that there was an uprising in "tic-tac-toe bean-bag toss" in Wyoming.

I mean...first off...does anyone even KNOW what they do for entertainment in Wyoming?? I mean, I overheard that there was afew markets that way....but once Anthology quit...which is interestingly enough...right after Sean Stevens "joined" the group....

(Cruise whistles an imaginary plane "crashing".)

Bad news.

In the mean time...why does it matter that I'm even there for support??

Have I ever said anything about you not having any support on your end...I mean...you could say what you want about doing things on your own... we don't even care if you call up Phil Collins to watch the match.

(Camera cuts to an overhead shot as Cruise shrugs)

That's about as much as you intimidate us.

(Camera cuts back.)

Everytime I've said to someone that I'd do something...when have I ever backed out, Impulse??

How about when I whipped Sebastian Dodd from pillar to post, winning the title the FIRST time?? Maybe you'd like to watch the tapes of when I told Douglas that his time with the title was over?? Or even when I told Astros that he COULDN'T POSSIBLY DESERVE to hold that title in his possession, to begin with??

But you??

You backpedal quicker than Manny Ramirez when he figured out that he couldn't get past the TRUTH when he was busted for performance-enhancing-drugs.

You were great about things when you heard that you had a new challenger, but once you heard I was gonna show up and watch his back...

(The camera cuts to Cruise pulling a "Macauley Culkin" face)

DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN!!! NOT UNLESS CRUISE IS LEFT IN THE LOCKERROOM I WON'T!!!

(Cut to Cruise tilting his head to the right, scratching his head)

And you wonder why we lump you in as a Sipper with the rest of those fools??

Really??

(Camera cuts back)

Yeah...that's part of why you're a bitch, 'pulse.

You wanna talk about my looking into your mirror??

Why would I look into something that you use on an everyday basis instead of a powered-laxative to get the stick out of your ass??

Don't you worry about my going up against The First though....I whipped his ass before, I can surely do it again.

(Camera cuts back)

No, First...I don't feel like a worm on a hook, the fact is that I'm the hunter that shoots the prey, and then when I check on my kill....punches the bastard in the back of the head in case he's wiley enough to try and escape.

But don't you worry, First...I'll get to you eventually, you snarky little shit, believe me...I have no qualms about punching you in the head. As for the title shot offered to Jared...

Why shouldn't I be there?? Why SHOULDN'T we both have title shots at Aggression??

Is it my fault that Reeve's is too slow to take his shot at the WORLD title, settling for what Impulse is offering instead and you can't find anyone original enough to face in the ring, someone that would actually BRING interest to the television??

Not a chance.

What happens to people REALLY when they mess with you, First??

Do you have to think about it first, while having stupid LITTLE GIRL TEA PARTIES?? Or do you have to hide behind masks, hiding behind the fact that you YOURSELF were alittle crazed with lunacy when it came to the World title??

I've never been badly hurt by you, in fact...just the fact that I've defeated you in front of the entire world before tells me that you've nothing really different than anyone else here.

As for you, I already know that I *AM* better than you, hell, my resume is better than yours, and so is Jared Wells.

But it's too bad you're too bitch-made to prove us wrong.

(Camera cuts in, showing Cruise shaking his head in disappointment)

You, just like The First....just might break a nail.

(Sudden static returns followed by 'The preceding announcement has been brought to you by the Dangle Brothers', followed by more static.)
 

User Poets

The Shadow Pope
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Impulse didn't lose his belt after zero successful defenses.

FADEIN: 'The following was put together by Randall Knox and a ton of dedicated EPW production employees who have earned a well - deserved break from the rantings of Cameron Cruise.'

And cut to a black screen, where you hear one thing.

IMPULSE: What-evaa, I do what I want!

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: Do I look like an animated fatass from Colorado to you?

Cut to Impulse, sitting in a chair.

IMPULSE: Did Cameron Cruise just call me out for making... one... pop culture reference?

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: Your mission will self-destruct in five seconds.

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: There's only one Trilogy, one "Return of" and it's not "The King", it's of "The Jedi".

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: Just win, baby.

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: He's AT HOME...washing his tights!

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: It's all in the hips...

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: I don't like you...not in the least, but much like Walter Sobchak, Hornet you should know better. This isn't 'Nam, this is WRESTLING; there are rules.

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: Yippee-Kay-Yay Mother-f---er....here we go again.

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: But much like you...he doesn't understand at times that even though its 3 am in Minnesota, in the middle of inclement weather...he can't have a camel.

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: Cry me a river, build a bridge, and go F--K YOURSELF.

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBOpmDFACXQ

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: If you don't know me by now, you will never never never know me.

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: WERE YOU BORN THAT STUPID OR DID YOU HAVE TO WORK AT IT?

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!

Cut to file footage of Cameron Cruise.

CRUISE: F--k, F--k, f--kity-f--k-f--k.

Cut to Impulse.

Sitting in a chair.

He gestures with his hands like he's going to say something.

Shrug of the shoulders.

IMPULSE: I don't even have the words.

(FADEOUT)
 

DBrunkGXW

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Re: Impulse didn't lose his belt after zero successful defenses.

My Buddy... awesome.
 

DBrunkGXW

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Re: Impulse didn't lose his belt after zero successful defenses.

FROM THE DESK OF DAN RYAN:

"Yep, I'm back. Thanks for the concern.

First order of business. Cameron Cruise managed to get himself a World Title shot. Congratulations, Cameron. Just what I need, another sneaky bastard worming his way into the World Title scene. Make the most of it.

Secondly, I'm booking Impulse vs. Jared Wells for the Intercontinental Title at Aggression 65.

Here's the thing. All of this negotiating and back and forth is cute and all, and Randall, thanks for the entertainment, but I'm the owner, I'm the booker, and I'll make the final decision on matches. I do, however, have to thank Randall Knox... Impulse, for a wonderful idea.

Therefore it will be Impulse vs. Jared Wells for the EPW Intercontinental Title, and if Cameron Cruise interferes in any way, then Cameron will not only forfeit his title shot against First the same night, but he will forfeit all future World Title shots as well, because he has annoyed me. And that, dear children, is the number one cardinal rule of EPW.

As for Stalker and the subsequent planning of giving him a match instead?

**** Stalker.

I owe you a World Title match and nothing more, Reeves. Pray that you don't get booked to set up the ring this week."
 
Last edited:

JLevinson

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Re: Impulse didn't lose his belt after zero successful defenses.

That's not a nerd, that's an extremely hot chick in glasses.
 

User Poets

The Shadow Pope
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Re: Impulse didn't lose his belt after zero successful defenses.

I'm sure Juliya would describe herself as at least part nerd. Mainly posted that to get Siegel's goat.

My buddy, indeed. :)
 

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