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Interview With The King

Zezu

League Member
Joined
Sep 9, 2004
Messages
166
Points
0
[TODAY]
The Griphouse, Miami, Florida

Mr. Keller, I will start off with introducing you for anyone who doesn’t know you and then I’ll ask you some questions about the tournament?

Being the latest recruit to the eWtorch staff, William Gates wanted to make an impression on his first interview for the magazine.

"Refer to me as the King **** of **** Mountain."

He had zero chance of that happening today.

"Mr. Keller, with all due respect, I can't begin my very first taped interview with a nickname riddled in profanity... is there anything else you would like to be referred as?"

...

"OK then. Start the tape Johnny."

As the red light on the top of the video camera flicked on the picture became a clear and vivid one. Khristain Keller stood in the middle of a ring surrounding by various boxing, MMA and weight lifting equipment. Dressed in a simple black hooded top, he peered to the right hand side of the camera were Gates no doubt was standing.

"I am here with Khristain Keller... aka the "King ****" as he prepares for the upcoming Ultratitle tournament. Mr. Keller, your career has seen you compete in All-Star Championship Wrestling, the fans Wrestling organisation, Legacy of Champions as well as the notorious Asylum. So the question that many fans have is; why at this stage in your career are you competing in this tournament?"

"Boredom. What is that phrase again? Familiarity breeds contempt.

I'm bored of seeing the same old haggard faces at the top around here and I'm bored of seeing the same old vomit being spewed and called a promo with it being lapped up by these peons. The hope for change is what brings me here... and my fists and my right boot is what is going to spring that change into action."

"Looking at the list of potential opponents, you could come up against a host of world class competitors in just the first round. Why do you think this has brought so many athletes back into competition?"

"The Ultratitle is shiny. It's new and to some it's exciting. It's something that every man with an ego like me wants and needs to make themselves validate why they are such a bad excuse for a human being. It's something bright and shiny that these crows have came flocking to. It's something that these guys would wreck their rusty and crippled bodies to try and win... and I intend to take every advantage of that."

"What do you mean?"

"It's simple moron. For the past ten years I've been sitting at the top of the Mountain, battling the worlds baddest assholes who have tried to take it away from me. What have they been doing? Bringing up their ugly brats and having an affair with the maid? Drowning their sorrows in a bottle of ol' Jack and wishing for the return of the good old days? The good old days are right here ****o. You are looking at them."

"Some people say your style might not suit this tournament given how long you have been out of this environment. How do you react to that?"

Keller sneered.

"There are many ways to skin a cat. Just like there are many ways I could take you down and wipe you clean of any oxygen you might be needing for the next lifetime."

That meant next question.

"To wrap things up Mr. Keller... so far we have seen various stars 'calling out' others in the tournament. There are a few names in this list that you have battled before. Do you intend to try and antagonise any of your old foes or any new names you want a shot at?"

He shook his head coupled with a petted lip.

"I don't have time for Twatter wars or Facebook funny business. I couldn't even tell you who most of these guys are, what they do or even what they look like. The only guy I will be calling out is my first round opponent. Then I'll call out the next guy... then the next. Until the only guy I need to call out is my buffer to make sure that Ultratitle is gleaming on my mantlepiece."

"Well Mr. Keller, thank you for speaking to us today and good luck in the tournament."

...

"Sack this. Eat crap and die the lot of you."
 

TH

Active member
Joined
Jun 18, 2004
Messages
2,953
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Age
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Location
Philadelphia
Website
wallsofjerichoholic.blogspot.com
GOP: KING? RISE UP! TYRANNY! GET YOUR MUSKETS! Our forefathers fought so that kings couldn't come in and rule over us with totalitarian authority, and now, there's a king in this tournament? Clearly, my work is cut out for me to clear this place of all the rabble threatening the moral fiber and soul of this tournament.

This message has been approved by the Phantom Republican for ULTRATITLE '12 campaign
 

Zezu

League Member
Joined
Sep 9, 2004
Messages
166
Points
0
KELLER: I'm impressed that you could make a statement like that with Zimmerboys nuts in your mouth.
 

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