iTunes or GTFO! #5: Fly Me to the Moon Results

[fugginVOSS]

[FADE-IN: Before an Intergalactic backdrop, made of silver with awesome little Space Invaders running along the bottom, stands the Executive Director for the Intergalactic Championship Commission, MORTON MURPHY. Wearing a shiny silver IGC polo shirt and blue jeans, MORTON stands there holding his hands in front while he awaits his cue. To his left, wearing a strangely adorned blue and silver mask with what appears to be a book lodged between his eyes, is IGC Touring Roster member BOOKFACE who is wearing a horrid pink and purple neon Hawaiian shirt that features little surfboards all over it. He is wearing his wrestling tights to cap off his outfit.]

[CUT-TO CLOSE-UP: of MURPHY and BOOKFACE, as the latter turns to MURPHY to allow him to introduce the happenings of what would unfold.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Folks, welcome to iTunes or GTFO! I’m Morton Murphy and I’m here wi-“

BOOKFACE: (arrogantly)

“The GREATEST Social Phenome-NOM-NOM-NOM!

“Since ya mother’s gapin’ gape-hole. ME! BOOKFACE!”

MORTON MURPHY: (embarrassed)
“That’ll certainly impress the folks at Apple and our video podcast rating. Thanks, Booker.”

BOOKFACE:
“Don’t sweat it, Morty. That’s, like, totally why I’m here. I’m here because I’m the 6 o’clock News Lead Story, Morty. I’m trending worldwide RIGHT as we speak.”

MORTON MURPHY: (confused)
“Um... this is pre-recorded.”

BOOKFACE:
“I know, right?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Getting to why we’re here, and I can assure you, it’s not this numb nut here... Folks, we’re here to RE-CAP what went down at Fly Me to the Moon, some sort of card that ANYBODY who’s ANYBODY in the wrestling world could not HELP but stop and stare as it all unfolded.”

BOOKFACE:
“The touring roster, like, TOTALLY brought it in first half of the card, Morty.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“But that second half of the card, Booker... can you believe what went down? We had ACW versus INFINITE Wrestling tag team eliminator match. It all gets so much it’s hard to know what’s what.”

BOOKFACE:
“So... like, HOW do IGC tag rules roll, Morty?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“It’s really quite simple, Booker. You tag your partner in OR... if you exit or are forcibly thrown out of the ring, your partner can simply step in and become the legal tender.”

BOOKFACE:
“How many pinfalls?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Well, it’s normally one but the ACW versus INFINTE Wrestling tag match unfurled JUST a little differently. See, the winning team, after one pinfall, would turn on the other to see just WHO WOULD go on to become the qualifier.”

BOOKFACE:
“I’m not sure I even, like, KNOW what you’re talking about.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Well, why don’t we take a look at the action unfurl from the tag match, BookFace. We’re cutting half-way where Max Hopper has Kenjiro Ito in the ring and the INFINTE Team has the momentum. I’m joined at the commentary booth by none other than the Toast of Baton Rouge, pain GRILLE...”

TAG TEAM QUALIFIERS MATCH
FIRST FALL!
KENJIRO ITO & JACK HARRIS (All-Star Championship Wrestling) vs. MAX HOPPER & “Unfortunate” PHIL ATKEN (Infinite Wrestling)
​

[FADE-IN: from the graphics of the encounter to KENJIRO ITO doubled over in the centre of the ring with MAX HOPPER bouncing off the ropes and charging forward, slamming a kick right into ITO’s face.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“BAM! Max with a big kick to Ito’s face. Infinite is starting to take charge after Harris dominated so viciously earlier.”

PAIN GRILLE: (smugly)
“Ito is just zee old man trying to keep up with zee kids zese days, Mortimer. Zere is nussink he can do except go back to his retirement village and drink tea and eat crumpets.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“I’m sure ITO is more than capable, pain. He IS in ACW after all. Hopper off the ropes and drops with a knee drop into Ito’s face. That’s GOTTA hurt.”

[HOPPER makes a cover on ITO quite loosely. The referee drops and slaps the canvas.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“There’s the coverrrr.... and ITO kicks out on two.”

PAIN GRILLE: (scoffing)
“Hopper is zee idiot. Even zhough Monsieur Ito is nearing octogeneric proportions he can easily kick out after such SIMPLE offense.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Max pulls Ito to his feet – rope whip. Ito bounding back and he flies with a clothesline as Hopper tries to ground him with one of his own. DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!”

[HOPPER and ITO both roll around on the canvas, trying to muster their strength up as ITO rolls onto all fours to crawl toward HARRIS. But HOPPER grabs him by the leg and pulls him back into the centre of the ring.]

MORTON MURPHY:
”Max Hopper putting an end to Ito’s escape. Tags in Atken and lifts Ito to his feet and holds him while Atken wails away with a couple of punches.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Unfortunate is zee good description of Atken. Unfortunate his mother never chased her womb with zee coat hanger.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Folks, please send all letters to pain GRILLE, care of the Intergalactic Championship Commission. Referee breaks the holds and Atken drives the knee into Ito’s guts as Hopper takes his exit.”

[ATKEN applies a front face lock and lifts him up for a stalling vertical suplex that reverberates around the arena.]

[CUTTO: JACK HARRIS slapping the top of the turnbuckle and reaching over the top rope as if ITO could tag him in.]

[CUTTO: PHIL ATKEN flipping HARRIS the bird before unmercifully stomping away at the back of ITO’s head.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken trying to crush the skull of Ito. Pulls him to his feet – rope whip. SPINNING ELBOW! COVER!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zoot alors! Monsieur Atken turning zee tables and ITOooo – kicks out near three.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“That was a close three. Atken heaves Ito to his feet, ties up. Rolls his body into Ito and there’s a snap mare. Tags in Hopper and hits the ropes. Rebounds... DROPKICK! Hopper up top!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“HOPPER WILL FLY LIKE ZEE BIRD!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“FLYING SPLASH! COVER! ONE!


“TWO!


“THREE! NO! SHOULDER UP!”

[HOPPER slaps the canvas and rises to his feet, reaching out to tag ATKEN back in. Boots ITO in the belly and applies an arm wrench as ATKEN leaps off the second rope driving an elbow into KENJIRO’s elbow joint.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Those Infinite guys – despite their differences – are really working well together to get that victory, pain GRILLE. And it does NOT look good for ACW.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Monsieur Harris is chomping at zee bit to get inside zee ring, Mortimer. He is ready to tear zem zee new asshole, oui?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Uh... oui. I mean, yes. Atken applying a sleeper on Kenjiro Ito. The fans getting behind the ACDubster to keep this match going. Harris is slapping the turnbuckle screaming for Ito to muster a tag.”

[ATKEN shakes his head as ITO holds a fist in the air. The fans chant “AY-SEE-DUBYA! AY-SEE-DUBYA!” as they clap in unison. HARRIS is jumping up and down like a mad man on the apron.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Kenjiro Ito is LOCKED in to that sleepe- ELBOW TO THE GUT! That rocked Atken’s ribs. AND ANOTHER! Phil broke the hold and Kenjiro mounting an offense. He’s throwing rights like they’re on sale for a dime and Atken has no choice but to eat them. Atken backed into the ropes – ROPE WHIP! DROPKICK! TAG! HERE COMES JACK HARRIS!”

[PHIL ATKEN bounds to his feet as ITO rolls under the bottom rope and out. HARRIS steps through, charging like a bull. ATKEN charges right back at him walking straight into a BIG uppercut that near takes ATKEN out of his boots. HARRIS turns around as ATKEN bounces to his feet and walks straight into a big boot that clears him over the top rope, making MAX HOPPER the legal man.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Jack Harris is CLEEEEAAARING house right now. Hopper charges – SHOULDER BLOCK TO HOPPER! He bounces to his feet but- OH NO! MASSIVE RUNNING KNEE LIFT INTO THE FACE AND HOPPER IS DOWN!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“SACRE BLEU! Jack Harris is zee man possessed and he will make sure zese Infinite Wrestlers know zat his is in zee control!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Harris, tugging Hopper to his feet. SHORT ARM KNEE STRIKE! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND HOPPER DROPS TO THE CANVAS AND IT DOES NOT LOOK GOOD FOR INFINTE!”

[HARRIS lifts MAX HOPPER up and drives him down over his knee with a massive back breaker slam and simply kneels beside him with his hands on his chest to make the cover.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“WHIRLWIND BACKBREAKER! COVER! ONE!


“TWO!



“THREE! PIN BROKEN BY PHIL ATKEN!”

[ATKEN, now in the ring, rains stomps onto the back of JACK HARRIS, aimed specifically at the big man’s lower back. HARRIS breaks the hold and is trying his best to no-sell the kicks but they begin to overcome him and he finds himself belly down in the centre of the ring as PHIL tries to stomp a mud-hole in him.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Phil Atken wants to PROVE to Jack Harris ACW made a mistake with what they did to him. Atken into the ropes- DOUBLE STOMP TO HARRIS’ BACK! MY GAWD!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Phil Atken has zee MONGREL about him, Mortimer. Jack Harris is looking worse for zee wears!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken heaving the behemoth Harris to his feet and tries to whip him into the ropes. REVERSAL! Atken sent hurtling to the ropes- BACK ELBOW! LOOK AT ATKEN’S HEAD BOUNCE OFF HARRIS’ POINTY ELBOW! YEEEEE-OUCH!”

[SMASH CUTTO: REPLAY! as ATKEN rebounds from the ropes toward HARRIS. His face contorts as he awaits the impact of HARRIS’ elbow and it smashes him right in the forehead. ATKEN’s legs flip out from underneath him as HARRIS follows through and he makes a full rotation before landing on his belly in the centre of the ring.]

[SMASH CUTTO: JACK HARRIS lifting ATKEN to his feet and pulling him over to the corner, smashing that sore forehead into the top of the turnbuckle.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Jack Harris is making an example of Phil Atken-“

JACK HARRIS: (screaming like a mad-man into ATKEN’s face between turnbuckle smashes)
“HOW’S YA ****ING DADDY NOW, WANKSTAIN? HUH?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“... and he’s seemingly claiming paternity rites to Phil Atken.”

PAIN GRILLE: (confused)
“If zee Atken is zee wankstain and Monsieur Harris is asking if he is his daddy... doesn’t zat make him zee wanker?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Don’t over think it. But yes. Harris running a thumb across his throat... he’s LOOKING to end this right now. Setting up for a pump handle...

“EXECUTION I! EXECUTION I! PHIL ATKEN IS NOT MOVING IN THE CENTRE OF THE RING!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“PHIL ATKEN IS DEAD! LOOK AT HIM!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Jack Harris just MURDERLISED Phil Atken in the centre of the ring and there is NO comi- MAX! OH MY GOD!

“HOPPER CAN RANA! HOPPER CAN RANA!”

[HOPPER drives HARRIS into the canvas as he turns around with the top rope hurricanrana he’s become so famous for. He pulls PHIL ATKEN to his feet, cups the back of his head and tosses him out of the ring as HARRIS, dazed and confused, rises to his feet.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Max Hopper just tossed Phil Atken over the top rope, making him the legal man, and Jack Harris doesn’t know if he’s ARTHUR or MARTHA in the ring there.

“WELCOME TO FANTASYLAND! POPULATION: JACK HARRIS!”

[HOPPER nails his patent rolling cutter on JACK HARRIS to a MASSIVE pop from the fans as he clambers on and hooks the leg tight. The referee falls to the canvas and begins to hit the three counts.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“MAX HOPPER MAKES THE COVER! ONE!


“TWO!


“THREE!



“HE’S DONE IT!”

***DING! DING! DING!***

MORTON MURPHY:
“Max Hopper has come through with the victory on the first fall for Infinite Wrestling which eliminates Kenjiro Ito and Jack Harris from competition. The second fall starts immediately where he and Phil Atken go head-to-head to see who qualifies and goes through to the ULTRATITLE finale to become the first INTERGALACTIC CHAMPION!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Max Hopper had better stop zee celebrations, Mortimer. Phil Atken is right behind him!”

[MAX HOPPER jumps around, fists in the air, celebrating the victory he’d just gotten over JACK HARRIS. PHIL ATKEN stalks him like a tiger would a gazelle... awaiting his moment to victory.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken is stalking! Stalking! Stalking! STAAAAAALKIIIIIING! Hopper turns around... BOOT TO BELLY! SHINBREAKER!”

[The fans gasp as HOPPER’s shin is driven down onto the knee of PHIL ATKEN and he rolls around the ring, thrashing in agony as ATKEN hurriedly rushes him, grabbing his legs and beginning to cross them and step through.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“ATKEN LOOKING TO APPLY HIS FIGURE FOUR! IT’S A FIGURE FOUR! HOPPER IS LOCKED IN!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zee Figure Four leg lock is one of zee most PAINFUL submissions holds. Atken has warmed up zee pain with zat shin breaker moments ago.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Max Hopper is shaking his head, grimacing as Atken leans back as far as he can go to make the hold hurt all the more. It does NOT look good for Max Hopper.”

[In the centre of the ring, perfectly positioned, ATKEN leans backs on his elbows as HOPPER rolls around, trying to roll the hold over and break free. The referee checks in on him again. He shakes his head. He does NOT want to tap.]

PHIL ATKEN:
“SUBMIT YOU STUPID SONOFA*****!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken DEMANDING Hopper tap out. That hold looks EX-CRU-SHEE-ATING, pain GRILLE. I don’t know HOW MUCH LONGER Max can hold out.”

[ATKEN continues to lean back as far as he can, attempting to lift his legs to put more leverage on the hold. HOPPER’s thrashing begins to subside as the pain continues to course through his shins and the agony really begins to set in.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“This does not look good for Ho-HE’S TAPPING! HE’S TAPPING! MAX HOPPER TAPPED!”

***DING! DING! DING!***

MORTON MURPHY:
“Phil Atken has come back after a hiatus on professional wrestling, attempting to qualify for the GRAND POOBAH FINALE of the Ultratitle to become the FIRST Intergalactic Championship and here, in Greensboro, in front of all these people... he’s made MAX HOPPER tap out to his Figure Four leg lock and become the FIRST qualifier to the go through to Championship match!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I cannot believe it! Phil Atken’s head was nearly taken off be zee monster Jack Harris. He had zat elbow driven through it and he survived. Hopper hit his cutter on HARRIS, got zee pin, zhen he walked RIGHT into zee awaiting clutches of Monsieur Atken.”

[Inside the ring, PHIL ATKEN has climbed the turnbuckle and beats his chest like Tarzan while MAX HOPPER rolls around on the canvas clutching his shin in agony.]

[SMASH CUTTO: ringside where JACK HARRIS seethes, staring up at PHIL ATKEN who proudly plays to the fans. ITO pats him on the back, only to be shoved away by HARRIS who slides into the ring behind PHIL ATKEN.]

[SMASH CUTTO: a wide shot of the ring, capturing HARRIS grab a handful of ATKEN’s tights and pull one arm into a wrist clutch.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“JACK HARRIS IS NOT HAPPY! NOT HAPPY AT ALL! EXECUTION III! OH MY DAMN GAWD! HARRIS JUST PULVERISED PHIL ATKEN WITH THAT SITOUT SIDE POWERSLAM AND ATKEN IS NOT MOVING INSIDE THE RING!”

[MAX HOPPER rises to his feet to catch a boot in the belly from JACK HARRIS. He applies a front face lock and lifts him for what would appear to be a vertical suplex but he drives HOPPER into the canvas with another sit out side powerslam that leaves the Special Events Centre booing loudly at ACW’s HARRIS.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“This SOLD OUT arena is showing their discontent for the actions of Jack Harris. FIRST he smashes Atken into the canvas with the Execution III. Hopper stirs and is DESTROYED by the Execution II. Jack Harris has made a COMPLETE mockery of the Infinite Wrestling team and look at that snarl as he heads to the back. The damage has been done. Jack Harris has stamped his NAME onto the IGC Qualifier, Phil Atken, and something tells me this won’t be the LAST of JACK HARRIS and the Intergalactic Championship Commission.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zoot alors! Zee destruction! Zee carnage! ...

“I like it!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“I bet you do.”

[SMASH CUTTO: the studio where MORTON MURPHY stands alongside BOOKFACE. MURPHY’s face is one of discontent whereas the mouth cut-out of BOOKFACE’s mask displays the ****-eating grin of a man impressed.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Jack Harris TORE Infinite Wrestling a new one as Phil Atken became our FIRST Intergalactic Championship qualifier in the HISTORY of IGCC.”

BOOKFACE:
“Jack Harris is TOTES genius, Morty. That man was, like, left high and dry by that decrepit old windbag Ito and left to, like, TOTALLY fend for himself. Atken and Hopper TOTES deserved what they got.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Whether they deserved it or not I’ll leave that up to the folks at home to decide. The IGCC is YET to make its verdict regarding Harris’ unprovoked actions and we will hear more as time comes to pass.”

BOOKFACE:
“Unprovoked? The man just, like, LOST his chance to become the Intergalactic Champion, Morty. What don’t you understand about that, numb nuts?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Booker – there are ways to go about things and callously attacking TWO men at an Intergalactic Championship Commissioned event is NOT the way to go about it.”

BOOKFACE:
“And that’s why you, like, push your pen around and never got in a ring. Douche!”

MORTON MURPHY: (ignoring BOOKFACE)
“So as Phil Atken advances we come to our second competition to find our SECOND qualifier. Defiance’s Dragon Jones goes into competition with Sabre, from Right On! Wrestling. Set to be a fantastic contest between two up-and-comers in the FWrestling circuit.

“We pick up with myself and pain GRILLE half-way through the action.”

SINGLES QUALIFIER MATCH
ONE FALL!
SABRE (Right On! Wrestling) versus DRAGON JONES (Defiance)
​

[FADE-IN: away from the graphic to DRAGON JONES pulling an arm wrench downwards, attempting to pull SABRE’s arm from its socket.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Dragon Jones in control, trying to take that right arm’s strength away from Sabre. Sabre is powerful and fast – a combination MANY superstar would struggle to deal with. Dragon Jones is not ANY everyday superstar.”

[JONES pulls him in with a short arm and spins toward him, catching him on the chin with a back elbow, never relinquishing the hold of SABRE’s arm.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Jones showing his ingenuity against Sabre, still holding that arm. Pulls him to the ropes, steps onto the middle rope and JUMPS OVER ONTO THE APRON! He brings Sabre’s shoulder down HARD onto the top rope.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“How do you combat a man who is fast AND powerful? You remove zhose attributes ONE at a time. Jones is concentrating on zee power. I would not be surprised to see him begin to concentrate on zee speed soon.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Colour commentary and in-ring insight brought to you by pain GRILLE of the French Foreign Legion. Dragon Jones, still holding that arm, DROPS FROM THE APRON TO RINGSIDE! THAT’S GOTTA HURT!”

[SABRE snaps back from the impact, clutching at his shoulder in agony as DRAGON slips back into the ring without any issue. He takes the wrist of SABRE and begins tugging that arm downwards hard trying to hyper-extend the joint. He lifts a foot, putting it into the armpit of SABRE and drops back with an inverted foot stomp to the shoulder that extends that joint further.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Dragon Jones is REALLY trying to take that right arm out of the equation, pain GRILLE. Sabre is favouring it tremendously.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zat inverted foot stomp was PERFECTION, Mortimer. Dragon Jones is now NOOB to zis industry. He is tried and true.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“European uppercut from Jones. Rope whip –LEG LARIAT! He makes the cover! Sabre kicks out on two.”

[JONES turns to the referee and holds up three fingers before shouting something about bringing an abacus to the ring with him for future contests. He turns and walks straight into a European uppercut from SABRE. Hits the canvas and bounces back up to receive a second one for his troubles. He bounds to his feet again and SABRE takes him by the arm for a rope whip but his right arm is too weak and JONES easily reverses it sending SABRE hurtling toward the ropes.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Sabre’s right arm can’t force Jones to the ropes and Dragon reverses- SABRE JUST RAMMED INTO THE REFEREEE! Bounces off the ropes – LEAPING SHOULDER BLOCK! DOWN GOES JONES! Sabre is clutching that shoulder!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“The referee is down for zee count, Mortimer. He is not sure where he is.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Sabre slips out of the ring – HE’S GOT A STEEL CHAIR!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“My interests just perked for zis match.”

[JONES rises slowly to his feet as SABRE slides back in behind him. He turns around and-]

[XXXTREME CLOSE-UP: steel chair coming down onto the head of DRAGON JONES.]

[CUT-TO: wide angle view of the ring as SABRE drops the chair to the canvas. He heaves DRAGON JONES to his feet.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Sabre SMASHED that chair over Dragon Jones’ head and things are getting interesting as the referee is unaware of the goings on inside the ring. Sabre wrapping up with Dragon Jon- BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX RIGHT ON THAT DAMN CHAIR!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“SACRE BLEU! He just smashed zee Dragon into zat steel and NOW HE COVERS!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“But there’s no referee to make the call. The referee is seeing little birds flying around his head and Sabre has MORE THAN gotten a three-count after driving JONES into that steel chair. Regardless to say... Sabre kinda had it coming that there is no fall count.”

[Realising the situation, SABRE gets to his feet and marches over to the referee. He tries to get his attention but the referee isn’t aware of the situation. He rolls out of the ring and snatches a bottle of water from a fan before re-entering and splashing the contents of the bottle onto the referee’s face, awakening him from his dazed state.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Sabre is trying to get the referee’s attention. I think he’s got it... to some extent.”

PAIN GRILLE:
”Dragon Jones is stumbling around punch drunk... he stumbles right into Sabre!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Sabre with a hard right. And another. And anoth- NO! DRAGON BLOCKS IT! EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zis cannot be good for Sabre.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“AND ANOTHER ONE! SABRE FALLS ONTO THAT STEEL CHAIR!”

[DRAGON JONES looks at SABRE, with his back laying across the steel chair before turning to look at the corner, more specifically at the top rope. He begins to climb and the fans, regardless of their feelings toward Deej, cheer his ascent.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Dragon Jones going UP... UP... UP!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“OH MY GOD!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“DEEJSAULT! DEEJSAULT! THAT STIFF MOONSAULT ONTO SABRE! SABRE WHO LAYS ON THAT STEEL CHARI! REFEREE AWAKE! OH MY GAWD!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“DRAGON JONES FOR ZEE WIIIIIIIN!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“ONE!



“TWO!



“THREE!



“NO! SHOULDER UP! The referee groggy from his collision with SABRE earlier makes that call EVER ... SOOOO... SLOWLY and Dragon Jones’ opportunity to advance to become the champion has slipped through his fingers.”

[JONES, clutching his chest in agony curses without being able to finish words. SABRE laid there, hands by his side, gasping like a fish out of water. To sore to even clutch at his damaged ribcage.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“It's like a massacre scene in there, pain GRILLE. Dragon Jones just destroyed Sabre with a Deejsault and took himself out with it. Both men are desperately trying to advance forward to become the Intergalactic Champion and both men are tearing themselves apart.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zis is what battle is all about, Mortimer. Every man and his dog trying to tear each other limb-from-limb!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Both men trying to get to their feet. Even the referee is trying to get to his feet. Three men down in the centre of the IGCC ring and only ONE MAN will advance to have a shot at becoming the Champion, pain GRILLE.

“Sabre to his feet. JONES to his feet. They meet, centre stage, trading blows. SABRE rocks JONES’ world with a hard right. JONES with a European uppercut. SABRE with a European uppercut. JONES. SABRE. JONES. JONES. JONES! BOOT TO THE BELLY!”

[SABRE’s doubled over as JONES locks a double underhook onto SABRE, preparing for his signature To Hell but SABRE locks his arms tight to his sides and stands upright, turning JONES upside down and he sits down hard, driving DRAGON JONES into the canvas with a double underhooked belly-to-back piledriver that leaves the whole arena in perfect silence.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“HOLY CRAP!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“**** ZEE DUCK!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Language please, pain. Sabre, someway and somehow, just turned the tides on Dragon Jones and drove him into the canvas with that... that... what I could only describe as a double underhook modified piledriver of some description and Dragon Jones looks like his lights have been turned out.”

[SABRE, on his knees, smiles sadistically as JONES slowly begins to move around on the canvas, clutching the crown of his head. SABRE rises to his feet and stomps his foot on the ground. The fans begin to boo. He stomps it again as JONES pulls himself up to his feet using the ropes.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Dragon Jones getting to his feet. Shaking the cobwebs. Walking RIGHT into a trap – WRATHFUL STRIKE! SUPERKICK! WRATHFUL STRIKE!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“HE NEAR KICKED HIS HEAD OFF!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“COVER! ONE!





“TWO!



“THREE!”



***DING! DING! DING!***

MORTON MURPHY:
“SABRE DID IT! He drove his foot right through Dragon Jones’ head with that super kick and I’m surprised we didn’t see teeth fly through the air!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I’m still in shock by zee piledriver.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“It ALL looked said and done when Deej was strapping Sabre in for a ride TO HELL but Sabre turned the tables and drove him skull first into the canvas with that modified double underhook piledriver FROM HELL. Then he put the cherry on top with the WRATHFUL STRIKE and its curtains for Dragon Jones. Hello Intergalactic Championship match. Sabre advances!”

[CUT-TO: MURPHY and BOOKFACE in the studio.]

BOOKFACE:
“That piledriver... Where on EARTH did that come from?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Your guess is as good as mine, Booker. I am STILL in shock. Dragon Jones put up a fierce fight but Sabre was just TOO GOOD in the end of what was an amazing battle between the pair.”

BOOKFACE:
“I’ll say... in my experience it would be, like, gnarly to see them both go through. But, like, Dragon Jones is a MASSIVE loser and he, like, sucks balls. So he gets no bikkies from the IGCC.
(waving) “Bye, Deej!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“While BookFace here goes all PLAYGROUND on Dragon Jones we’ve come to our FINAL match of the night. The OPEN CHALLENGE thrown out by Hornet. The challenge accepted by the IWF Emerald City Champion... VIZIER TA SETI!”

BOOKFACE:
“When the new age meets the dinosaurs. This is like Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park. That was a sweet movie.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Despite Booker’s disrespect to Hornet it is the veteran meeting the up-and-comer and ta Seti has already made some name for himself in Seattle. And from the battle that ensued between he and Hornet... it seemed ta Seti wasn’t the ONLY one with a point to prove.”

!!MAIN EVENT!!
SINGLES MATCH
ONE FALL!
WINNER GETS INTERGALACTIC CHAMPIONSHIP SHOT @ LATER DATE!
HORNET (CSWA) versus VIZIER ta SETI (IWF)
​

[FADE-IN: camera’s swinging around the arena at the various fans in attendance. Capturing fans holding signs high above their heads. A tall buxom blond holds a sign high and shakes her shoulders - “STING ME, HORNET!” CUT-TO: Sign: “By the moon and sun, ta Seti FTW!” CUT-TO: “I Wish I was at Reloaded” CUT-TO: “For sale: 2 Used IGCC Tickets”]

[CUT-TO: The stage as “Do You Call My Name” by RA hits the PA system. Immediately, the fans begin to boo loudly as VIZIER ta SETI emerges from the backstage area, IWF Emerald City Championship wrapped around his waist. He snarls and heads down toward the ring.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Here comes the challenger. The man who answered the legendary Hornet’s challenge three weeks ago. The man who looked a legacy in the eye and came forward in the name of the IWF. Zizier ta Seti. The IWF Emerald City Champion.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zis man is fearless. He will take zee fight to Hornet and fight TOOTH and nail.”

[ta Seti rolls under the bottom rope and cross to the far-side of the ring, handing his Emerald City Championship to a ringside tech before turning, standing in his corner and folding his arms across his chest. His music fades and he sets his feet as if bracing himself. “Like the Sun” by I Mother Earth]

[CUT-TO: the fans by the guard rail throwing their fists into the air and screaming their approval.]

[CUT-TO: two guys wearing throw-back Hornet t-shirts giving each other double-handed high fives.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“It would be rude to ignore the fact his hometown have come in droves to fill this arena but HERE comes the hometown hero... HORNET!”

[CUT-TO: HORNET emerging from the backstage area to a massive pop from the fans. He begins storming down toward the ring.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“Ve are about to witness zee PASSING of zee guard, Mortimer.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“I’m sure these guys are going to battle hard with TWO different agendas. The wily veteran to prove a point he is STILL the best in the world. And the up-and-coming superstar looking to SOLIDIFY himself as one of the biggest names in the business today.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“And what better way zan to beat zee biggest name in zee world, no?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“I would suggest that beating Hornet would DEFINITELY go a LONG, LONG way to having that kind of mantle.”

[HORNET steps inside the ring where ta SETI eyeballs him. HORNET climbs the turnbuckle and looks out over the fans in attendance who cheer loudly at his presence.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“We’re MOMENTS away from this contest getting underway and the buzz in this arena here in Greensboro is electric.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Referee calls for zee bell.”

***DING! DING! DING!***

[Immediately, HORNET and ta SETI collide centre stage, tying up collar-and-elbow forcing one another back and forth across the ring as a “HORNET!” chant begins to boom around the stadium.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“The fans here are DEAFENING, pain. Listen to them getting behind their hero.”

[HORNET forces ta SETI into the corner, breaks the tie-up and stings his chest with a knife edge chop. The fans in Greensboro “WOOOO!” like another North Carolina legend. He stings with another devastating chop.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Hornet trying to slice through ta Se- TA SETI REVERSES! THROWING HORNET INTO THE CORNER! OUCH! KNIFE EDGE CHOP! AND ANOTHER!”

[Trying to cover up, HORNET up pulls his arms up to cover his chest. Ta SETI whips him across the ring into the opposite corner. He charges after HORNET and leaps with a big shoulder block for a boo from the fans. HORNET staggers out of the corner right into VIZER’s clutches and driven into the canvas with a belly-to-belly suplex. Ta SETI scrambles over and hooks the leg.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“COVER! ONE!



“TWO!






“THREEE! NO! SHOULDER UP! Wow. THAT was close.”

[Ta SETI continues about his business, guiding HORNET to his feet by a grasp on the back of his neck. Forcing him into the ropes, he whips him across the ring. HORNET drops the shoulder into ta SETI’s chest and he drops to one knee. HORNET hits the ropes behind ta SETI and rebounds before smashing him face first into the canvas with a bulldog.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“The veteran DRIVING Vizier’s FACE into the canvas with that bulldog.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Both of zese men have suffered serious neck injuries, Mortimer. I wonder how long it will take zem to take advantage of zee obvious weakness.”

[HORNET rises to one knee, eyes illuminated like he forgot the experience of the rush. He pulls ta SETI to his feet and drives a knee into his gut, doubling him over. Lifts him up for a vertical suplex and drives him into the canvas before rolling into position to hook the leg.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“HORNET WITH THE COVER! ONE!


“TWO!


“THR-SHOULDER UP!”

[Without missing a beat, HORNET carries on, mounting ta SETI’s chest and driving some punches into his face as the referee begins a count. HORNET finishes with counts to spare before getting himself and ta SETI to standing positions.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Irish whip into the corner. HORNET CHARGING IN! HORNET SPLAAAA-“

PAIN GRILLE:
“NO! Vizier rolls out of zee corner and Hornet gets a sternum full of turnbuckle.”

{Staggering out, gasping for breath, HORNET walks straight into a boot from VIZIER, but HORNET catches it. The fans groan as ta SETI rolls through with an enzuiguri that doubles HORNET over. VIZIER charges at the ropes.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ta Seti, into the ropes. Rebounds. TORNADO DDT! That’s gotta hurt.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zee move is all zee more difficult to recover from with zee giddying twirling and whirling, Mortimer.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Vizier ta Seti applying a Full Nelson onto the grounded Hornet, putting pressure on his neck which he broke so many years ago. The fans in Greensboro are vocally displaying their displeasure in ta Seti’s pin-pointing of Hornet’s neck.”

[Ta SETI drives a knee into the side of HORNET before getting to his feet and heaving HORNET to his feet.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Vizier ta Seti taking control of the situation. T-BONE SUPLEX! DRIIIIIIVING Hornet on that neck and that’s SURELY got to spark some old fires in the old spinal column.”

[Rising to one knee, ta SETI looks out over the fans who boo loudly as HORNET clutches his neck in agony.]

[SMASH CUT-TO: A shot of ta SETI locking up with HORNET like he was about to perform a side slam until he grabs the leg and hoists him up and over, with the slo-mo kicking in before ta SETI raises HORNET above his head.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zee execution is perfection, Mortimer.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Hornet HAS to be in some significant pain driven onto his shoulders and neck and upper back like that.”

[CUT-TO: ta SETI pulling HORNET to his feet, taking HORNET’s head and forcing him to turn around to execute a neckbreaker on the veteran.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Unrelentless on that neck and ta Seti is taking control of this match.”

[HORNET writhes in pain before heaving himself up to his feet by use of the ropes, leaning against them as he rubs furiously at his neck. Ta SETI comes charging across the ring and hits him with a dropkick, knocking him over the top rope to the outside of ring.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“A dropkick and Hornet finds himself outside. Vizier rolling underneath to greet him. Hauls him up-“

PAIN GRILLE:
“BAM! Introducing Hornet to zee crowd barrier.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ta Seti SLAMS Hornet’s face into the barrier. Pulling him over to the ring post: SAY HELLO! Introduction to the steel post.”

[VIZIER spins HORNET around, delivers a stiff belly knee and HORNET is doubled over. Facelock applied and drives HORNET’s skull into the ringside area with an evenflow DDT as the fans rain their boos down on VIZIER.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ta Seti’s trying to crack his skull open to. Rolls Hornet back into the ring and clambers on top with the cover...

“ONE!



“TWO!



“THREE!




“NO! SHOULDER UP! Hornet pulls something out from deep down and the Emerald City Champion has more to do to get past the experience of Hornet.”

[Ta SETI slaps the canvas and gets to his feet, heaves HORNET to his feet and whips him into the ropes before hitting the ropes on the opposite side.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“FURY OF ZEE FAAATTT- NO! Hornet catches zee ropes.”

MORTON MUPRHY:
“Vizier snickers to himself and charges at Hornet- FLAPJACK! HORNET JUST FLAPJACKED TA SETI AND HE LANDED ROPE HUNG ACROSS THE TOP ROPE!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“SACRE BLEU!”

[Ta SETI staggers around, gasping for air as HORNET shakes the cobwebs and meets VIZIER in the centre of the ring, grabs him by the legs and pulls them out from under him for a massive pop from the fans.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“SCORPION DEATHLOCK! HERE IT COMES!”

[But ta SETI manages to free a foot and catch HORNET on the chin with a stray boot, sending HORNET reeling. He rises to his feet and drills HORNET with a big clothesline. HORNET bounces back up to his feet for ta SETI to drill him with a second clothesline. Rises to his feet again and this time he ducks the clothesline from ta SETI, linking one arm in and applying a full Nelson on his opponent.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Hornet LOCKING ta Seti into the full Nelson after Vizier avoided one of the most famous holds in professional wrestling.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Which was going to be applied by one of zee most famous names in professional wrestling.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“You got that right, pain.”

[HORNET swings his own legs out and pulls ta SETI back with a full Nelson slam. HORNET bursts to his feet with a Tiger Woods fist pump of awesome (minus the hooker in front of said fist?) and quickly grabs ta SETI by an arm forcing him to his feet.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“With NEW LIFE coursing through the veins of the legend, Hornet looks to have taken control of the match. Whips ta Seti into the cornerrrrr – HORNET SPLASH! HORNET SPLASH!”

[HORNET backs away from the smooshed ta SETI and crosses the ring to slap the top of the turnbuckle three times before rolling ta SETI over onto his back by his ankles.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“SCORPI- NO! Ta SETI rolls over and grabs the ropes and Hornet has to let go of his ankl- HORNET DRAGGING TA SETI INTO THE CENTRE OF THE RING!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zee referee will not have ANY of zis.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Our official prising Hornet’s grip off of ta Seti’s ankles and gets in Hornet’s face. SCHOOL BOY FROM TA SETI!



“ONE!



“TWO!



“THREE!



“NO! KICKOUT! OH MY GOD!”

[Ta SETI punches the mat before getting to his feet. He drives a stiff boot into HORNET’s belly before forcing him to his feet. He drives a knee into HORNET’s belly and then shouts at the referee.]

VIZIER ta SETI:
“YOU! Get your ass ready!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ta Seti barking orders at our officials... belly-to-belly tie-up- CAN IT BE THE THIRD EYE? CAN IT?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“NO! HORNET BLOCKS!”

[Ta SETI drives a stiff knee into HORNET’s belly, winding him momentarily and he hits the ropes. The fans begin to buzz anticipating the Fury of the Fates only for HORNET to flip him through the air with a BIG back body drop. The fans pop loudly.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“BIG back body drop. Ta Seti up... charges and HIP TOSS! OVER GOES VIZIER!”

[Ta SETI rises to his feet a third time and charges a third time for HORNET to link arms with the IWF Emerald City Champion and throw him across his body with an armdrag as the fans roar loudly. HORNET starts hulking up with double fist pumps of awesome in the centre of the ring.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ta Seti gets to his feet for a fourth time and this time HORNET greets him with a stinging right. Takes him by the hand but no docey do... Irish whip into the corner. Hornet in the opposite corner an- HORNET SPLASH! THERE IT IS AGAIN!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Vizier ta Seti has taken control and when he’s not been in control he has fought bravely and he keeps fighting and battling and Hornet CANNOT break him.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Hornet has GOT ta Seti by the ankles and he’s rolling him over and he’s hooking legs and looping through and squatting! HE’S GOT THE SCORPION DEATHLOCK CINCHED ON AND VIZIER TA SETI IS VISIBLY IN PAIN!”

[HORNET, maniacally nodding, screams for ta SETI to tap out of the hold but ta SETI’s face is one of pure concentration, trying to put the pain in another place as the veteran applies that hold viciously to the challenger.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Hornet mounted an offense and it looked as though ta Seti were coming back to take control and then the next thing you know, Hornet has ta Seti locked into tha-“

***DING! DING! DING!***

MORTON MURPHY:
“HE TAPPED! VIZIER TAPPED!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“ZOOT ALORS!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Hornet locked him into the Scorpion Deathlock and there was no escape. None whatsoever. There was NO escape and the wily veteran, with thousands of titles under his belt...”

PAIN GRILLE:
“That’s an obvious exaggeration.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“...and Vizier ta Seti has SUCCUMBED to the Scorpion Deathlock and tapped and the cherry on the top of the cake means that HORNET will get an Intergalactic Championship shot at a time of his choosing at a later date. When he likes. WHO he likes.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Like zis guy needs another title. What could it possibly mean to him?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“What does a man who has it all need? Respect. He told us HE chooses his brass ring and he alone and here... today... Hornet’s brass ring was showing Vizier ta Seti to learn some respect. The next brass ring... it could quite possibly be the Intergalactic Championship.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“You have created zee monster, Mortimer.”

[In the ring, standing on the second rope, HORNET has his arms extended from his sides like he were an extra on the Titanic film. The camera slowly draws closer and closer until it has a tight shot of his face before slowly fading to...]

​