(FADEIN: THE ODESSA TRAINING DUNGEON. With the lights off, it’s easier to tell that this basement has absolutely no windows. Not a sliver of light slips through the buildings cracks.
SFX: A generator FIRES up. A hum sound echoes off the walls. After a few moments, a light switch flickers, turning on two spotlights that illuminate the ring.
ANGLE ON: Jack Harmen stands near the entrance. He wears the newest NFW t-shirt of his tandem, the “Superfly Express.” He looks over his empty gymnasium and smiles.
In the corner, a single punching bag gently sways from its hook. Most people would mistake the cause of this as a light breeze. Harmen, however, knows that his basement is air tight.)
JACK HARMEN: Alright Squatter.
(Harmen paces around his gymnasium. His boots clank as he steps.)
JACK HARMEN: Reveal yourself before I reveal my BOOMSTICK!
(After a moment, the tarp surrounding the ring rises. Out from underneath peaks the young rookie Ken Day. Day is wearing a nice collared shirt and khaki slacks. Ken smiles, and slowly exits from underneath. He looks back under the ring, before dusting himself off.)
KEN DAY: Guru.
JACK HARMEN: Candy.
(Harmen nodes, and walks over to a small mini-fridge behind Mary-Lynn’s desk.
KEN DAY: Can I first start with the fact that I am severely sorry for my transgressions here.
JACK HARMEN: Transgressions huh?
(Harmen opens the fridge and pulls out two beers. Jack goes to close the fridge but doubles back, noticing a small half-drunk bottle of wine.)
JACK HARMEN: When did you learn three syllable words?
(Jack smiles and turns back to his student, who stands right next to the training ring.)
JACK HARMEN: Listen, Sweettart.
(Harmen tosses Ken a beer. Ken isn’t ready, and almost drops it. Harmen walks over by ringside and uses the ring apron’s edge to open his drink.)
KEN DAY: My name is Ken, Mr. Harmen. Ken Day.
(Harmen laughs. He tosses back his beer.)
JACK HARMEN: Your name is what I want it to be.
(Harmen wipes off a little dribble from his lips.)
JACK HARMEN: Besides. I wasn’t talking to you.
(Jack leans on the ring apron. Ken’s eyes go wide as he can’t help but glance to his feet.)
JACK HARMEN: There’s only two ways for you to get into here after hours. One, is you hide under that ring like Fake Sting for fifteen hours. Two? You have a little help from a plucky red M&M.
(Harmen lifts the apron to his ring and reveals the plucky tiny attorney, Mary-Lynn Mayweather. She smiles up to her sensai. Otherwise, her eyes and the rest of her expression does not change.)
MARY-LYNN MAYWEATHER: Jack.
JACK HARMEN: May.
(Mary-Lynn steps out from underneath. She’s wearing an Ice Cream Fire tank top and her trademark red skirt. She dusts herself off, and sneezes.)
MARY-LYNN MAYWEATHER: It’s dusty under there.
JACK HARMEN: My custodial crew’s been pretty lazy since I fired them.
(Mayweather tenses up. Ken awkwardly puts his beer on the ring apron and steps to Mayweather. He grabs her hand. Mayweather smiles)
JACK HARMEN: Bout time. Here. Why don’t you take her out on a real date. My treat.
(Harmen pulls out his wallet and hands Ken a fifty. He pats him on the back and leads them to the entrance of the Odessa Dungeon.)
KEN DAY: You… You understand?
(At the entrance, Harmen smiles as he opens the door.)
JACK HARMEN: Hey. You take what you want. I respect that.
(Day smiles. Mayweather leans in as Ken wraps his arm around Mayweather’s shoulders.)
MARY-LYNN MAYWEATHER: Thanks Jack.
(The two exit. Ken turns around on the narrow staircase.)
KEN DAY: Oh. Congrats on beating Windham!
JACK HARMEN: Thanks. And don’t ever use my gym for this again Red, or I’ll turn your new boy toy into a crimson shade of your favorite color.
(Harmen smiles as he closes the door behind. After a moment, Jack sighs, and turns back to the ring.
CUTTO: A montage. Harmen on the punching bags. Harmen lifting weights. Harmen bouncing off the ring ropes from side to side. After, Harmen wipes sweat from his forehead and smiles to his nearby security camera.)
JACK HARMEN: Young love. It’s a precious thing. Most people wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
(Harmen tosses the towel over the middle rope.)
JACK HARMEN: I traded it for my career. For a legacy like no other. Former IWO Champ. Former WWR Champ. Former Thousand Day FWO Champ. The man who eliminated Troy Windham.
(Harmen cracks his neck to his left side.)
JACK HARMEN: I really like that last one.
(Harmen cracks his neck to the right.)
JACK HARMEN: And I’d do it all again. Years from now, a man in middle America working a temp job for ten dollars an hour will only be remembered by his children. The winner of the 2012 Ultratitle? He’ll be remembered by wrestlers and fans all over the globe.
(Harmen lowers his head. His eyes continue to look into the camera as he does.)
JACK HARMEN: I’d argue I’m already at that level. World renowned and respected, a pinnacle example of what it means to be a professional wrestler in the twenty first century. And yet, I’m still here, working on the basics, making sure my skills are as sharp as ever. Three AM and I’m here in this ring. I’ve got a class to train in six hours. Young pupils hanging on my every word because they KNOW I’m an expert at the craft. A true SHAMON, not like the fake that’s out of this tournament, when it comes to the art of professional wrestling. And this is how I celebrate defeating an icon like Troy Windham. A single beer and a training session.
JACK HARMEN: I wouldn’t have it any other way.
(Harmen shrugs. He uses the top rope to lift him so he sits on the top turnbuckle.)
JACK HARMEN: Pat Gordon Jr. might be wise to learn a few things from me. The plucky underdog, the little engine that could that no one thought would. I must say, he’s been quite impressive. Dedicating his victories and his conquests to all those who failed throughout the Ultratitle tournament. A second generation wrestler much like myself, who’s doing everything he can to prove he belongs among the elite of the elite. It’s truly a Cinderella story.
JACK HARMEN: But I’m sorry Gordon. It’s midnight, and you’re faery godfather can’t save you. Beating Suicide, August Joyce and Jeffrey Roberts was certainly a challenge, but none like the one you’ll face in the sweet sixteen. I see a lot of myself in you Gordon. I can see, fifteen years from now, you having the career I’ve had. I can see it in the marquee…
(Harmen uses his hands to frame an imaginary marquee.)
JACK HARMEN: Pat Gordon Jr… 2020 Ultratitle winner.
(Harmen shakes his head from side to side.)
JACK HARMEN: But 2012 is not your year. In the Chinese calendar, it is the year of the Lunatic. The mayans had it right.
(Harmen smiles. Jack drops to the canvas and falls to his knees.)
JACK HARMEN: This is how your world ends Pat Jr. Your story ends with a BANG, as the Locomotive STEAMROLLS over you. You fall to the mat, and you faintly hear three SLAPS on the canvas.
(Harmen slams his hand on his wrestling ring.)
JACK HARMEN: SLAP.
(SFX: of Harmen’s hand hitting the mat. The camera fades out.)
JACK HARMEN(O.S.): SLAP.
(SFX: Harmen’s hand hitting the mat as the picture completely goes black.)
JACK HARMEN(O.S.): SLAP.
(SFX: Harmen’s hand hitting the mat one final time.)
JACK HARMEN(O.S.): Just TRY to prove ME, and EVERYONE ELSE, wrong.
Pat Gordon, Jr. walked past the buildings. Brick. Nothing too pretty. Boston was an “ugly” city, after all. It was the fourth of July. Fireworks exploded, lighting the night sky in brilliant colors, giving enough light to see him in his INFINITE Wrestling t-shirt and jeans and still sporting a bandage just under his hairline, above his right eye. But the Boston Bruiser barely took notice, only indulging himself in the briefest glimpse before gritting his teeth.
PGJr: “So, it‘s going to be that easy, is it? One kick and I’ll be on my back, staring at the headlights while the referee counts to three. I have to say, Jack, I expected much better from you. I thought you were smart, a scientist type. Hell, you made yourself that H.G. Wells style time machine so you could run around and play with the damn Morlocks or whatever. Seven times world champion in seven different promotions. And yet you still don’t pay attention.”
He tapped his finger against the side of his head.
PGJr: “If you had paid attention like you should have, then you’d know what happens to guys who think Pat Gordon, Jr. is some easy pushover just because he hasn’t been World Champion of fifteen different defunct promotions. If you had paid attention like you should have, then you’d know better than to underestimate me, to think I’m some free pass into the Elite Eight and a match against the winner of Freddie Sagawa and Deacon. If you had paid attention like you should have, then you would know that I’m ready to rise up to any challenge - whether it be a knock down, drag out fight with Suicide, a straight up wrestling match with August Joyce, or having Jeffrey Roberts LITERALLY try to bite my face off. That’s how I got this...”
The Celtic Scrapper ripped the bandage from his head. More fireworks lit up the sky, revealing the cut. Still healing. Just a little bit of puss left over.
PGJr: “Do you really want to go down this road, Jack? Do you really want to make the same mistake that three other people have made before you? Maybe your scientific mind doesn’t register it as a law yet. Maybe you need more trials before you see it’s more than ‘just a theory.’ Or maybe you’ve suffered too many concussions in your career to get it. But you’re about to find out first hand... BEATING A GORDON AIN’T EASY! Seven times world champion and you’re just now getting into the fight of your life. And you don’t even understand it... yet.”
He stopped underneath a street lamp. Hello.
PGJr: “Now, I’ve really had to get here the hard way. I started out with Suicide, a wrestling legend in his own right, and each and every round has just gotten harder ever since. And I can clearly see that this is going to be the toughest match yet. Hell, it’s the Sweet Sixteen. THE SWEET SIXTEEN, JACK! Do you really expect there to be ANY slouches - even just one - in the last sixteen out of a hundred and twenty-eight of the best wrestlers in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD?”
Paddy shook his head.
PGJr: “You want me to prove to you that I can beat you, that I’m the one who ought to be hoisting the UltraTitle high above my head? You want me to prove it to everyone else? I'll do it. Gladly. Every match I’ve wrestled in this tournament, the odds-makers pointed to someone else and said, ‘That’s the winner.’ Everyone has wanted me to prove myself to them. And each and every time, I proved that I wanted the UltraTitle more than the other guy. Because that’s what it’s all gonna come down to, Jack. This is the sweet sixteen; now it’s a question of who wants it more.
Gordon tapped his thumb on his chest and then pointed his fingers where he imagined High Flyer to be.
PGJr: “Now I want you to think back. Think back past all of those seven world titles. Think back past all of those main events and silly antics, and remember. Remember the first time you were in a main event. Remember what it felt like. And remember the first time you won a world title. Remember how much you wanted it, how hard you worked to win it. Remember what it meant to you when you won it. Because that’s what I’m going through right now. My first time in a main event match was against Suicide in round one, and it was the best feeling of my life. I have a chance to compete for the biggest honor of them all - the UltraTitle. Ice the cake by tossing in a match with a seven time world champion, and that means one thing: I’m gonna try even harder to beat you.”
The Boston Bruiser was back on the move in and out of the lights. Fireworks still boomed in the sky, but less often. He walked with more purpose. Got to make up for lost time.
PGJr: “That UltraTitle means the world, not just to me, but to my family. It means the world to my father and uncle. It’s my chance to start my career by doing what they never could do - what they never got a chance to do - and win the biggest championship of them all. Because if you add up your seven world titles, Jack, take them and roll them all into one, it still doesn’t come close to the UltraTitle. There’s nothing I want more.”
The Celtic Scrapper pointed to his eyes and then eye level with where Harmen would be standing, if he were in standing front of him.
PGJr: “You know, it’s funny. When you fought Troy Windham, you wanted his respect. You wanted to ‘see eye to eye’ with a man who had done so much in this sport. But now that the situation is reversed, now that you’re the favorite facing the dark horse, you don’t want to extend that respect to me. I was going to show you respect. I was going to tell you how much I was looking forward to facing a seven time World Champion, how tough I knew the match would be. But if you’re going to give me that same old song and dance, the same song of the three men I’ve already eliminated from this tournament, the same song of the man YOU eliminated... Then forget it.”
Pat Gordon, Jr. swiped his hand through the air in a “no way” gesture.
PGJr: “And I’ll tell you what, Jack, we definitely won’t see eye to eye. See, through my eyes, wrestling is a sport. I look at wrestling and I see men and women competing to prove they’re the best at what they do. You on the other hand, you see it as ‘entertainment.’ You ‘do it for the LULZ.’ It’s all a frigging joke to you, isn’t it?
“I heard a joke once. A man goes to the doctor. Says he’s feeling depressed. Says he just got beat up by Pat Gordon, Jr. and something important was taken away from him. The doctor says the cure for the depression is simple. ‘The famous comic wrestler High Flyer is in town,’ the doctor says. ‘Go see him. That’ll cheer you up.’ The man bursts into tears. ‘But Doctor,’ he says, ‘I am High Flyer.’ Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.”
Pat Gordon, Jr. reached his destination. He grabbed a metal handle and pulled a door open. In he went. It was the South Boston High School gymnasium.
(FADEIN: An Ultratitle banner sways in the background. Stepping into the foreground is your friendly Neighborhood Lunatic, the snow selling veteran of this sport, Jack Harmen. He wears his “We are all Mad Men” NFW t-shirt with the silohette of him falling from grace, much like the iconic opening theme from the AMC show “Mad Men.” He's dressed in his trademark baggy felt snow-like pants. He stares directly into the camera He takes a few seconds before he opens his mouth to speak.)
JACK HARMEN: I am NOT High Flyer.
JACK HARMEN: High Flyer was a WEAK individual seeking the approval of the fans and the dirtsheets. High Flyer is the name of my former self, the man I pretended to be because I didn’t think the wrestling world would accept ME for who I am. I spent 15 years of my life playing a character, A SLAVE, meant to appease everyone BUT myself.
JACK HARMEN: But that’s not who I am anymore. I’ve relinquished those shackles that I placed upon myself and haven’t felt so free in AGES. I am so fly and on fire like a phoenix wing. I have been REBORN.
(Harmen smiles. He jerks his head to his side as if pointing to someone off screen.)
JACK HARMEN: You, Pat Gordon Jr., have just been BORN. You’ve hatched out of your little family nest egg and are awaiting your first meal, your first championship. You want your first accolade to be the greatest that a professional wrestler has. The Ultratitle.
(Jack holds his head high as if he were standing for a propaganda statue made of his own image.)
JACK HARMEN: Pat Gordon Jr…. Champion of the world.
(Harmen returns to his normal posture.)
JACK HARMEN: The greatest of victories that’d show your father and your uncle, wherever they are, “Hey, Pat Gordon Jr. IS awesome.” He’s BETTER than his father. BETTER than his Uncle. A fatal flaw, I see? Pat Gordon wants to win this championship not for the glory, but for your family to say ‘Hey Pat. You served the family name well, and all you had to do was win seven matches outta your first twenty in this sport.’
(Harmen scoffs. He sneers and snarls.)
JACK HARMEN: Deny it if you want, but you don’t KNOW what the Ultratitle is REALLY worth. You may have been told about it all your life. You may have grown up around this sport like I have, but until you’re in that ring, twenty, fifty, a hundred times, ONE THOUSAND PLUS, you have NO IDEA what it REALLY means to be the GREATEST, in the WORLD. You say you want the Ultratitle after what? Twelve matches in your career? I want it after THOUSANDS! Multiply your want by hundreds and then ADD INFINITY because THAT’S how much more I want it than you. You Pat? You’re gonna have another chance. You’re gonna be the 2020 Ultratitle champion, I can feel it. But until you get more than ten matches under your belt, how can you TRULY understand the WEIGHT and VALUE of the Ultratitle? I mean, you’d freak out if someone handed you the CSWA’s Greensburo Championship. Hell, I’m pretty sure if you beat me in the Sweet Sixteen, your HEAD would LITTERALLY explode.
JACK HARMEN: THAT’S the type of respect I COMMAND! And I know, you think I sought the same type of respect from Windham like a 20 something valley girl looking to get her thirty five year old player boyfriend to say I love you. See, I just wanted him to ADMIT it. I KNEW he respected me, but he wouldn’t SAY it. When I pinned him and he whined and *****ed, called the entire tournament invalid. There? He said it WITHOUT saying it.
JACK HARMEN: I earned it from Windham. Everyone else at this point in my career, YOU INCLUDED, HANDS me their respect right out of the gate. Cause I spent twenty years EARNING it. And honestly Pat, that’s what this sport is about. RESPECT.
JACK HARMEN: I’ve EARNED a lot in my career, and people expect a lot from me. People hype themselves up to face me. They think it’s a privilege to see themselves on the other side of that ring from me. Even YOU are treating me like I treated Windham.
(Harmen scoffs. He raises his chin to look down at Gordon.)
JACK HARMEN: You? You’ve earned being a WHIPPING post in Infinite. Have you won a match there yet? Thirty thwacks with a Shillelagh, that’s your role.
(Harmen shrugs, and cracks his neck.)
JACK HARMEN: Listen, I respect the Gordon family name. And if you think I failed to show respect for a man who’s been able to get to the sweet sixteen, well, it wasn’t intended, but I won’t apologize for it. You’re LUCKY to be here. YOU know it. I KNOW it. The FANS know it. And to get past me in the Sweet Sixteen, you’re going to have to have more luck than a riverboat gambler counting cards at blackjack. You’re going to have to carry eighteen rabbits feet, eat fifteen bowls of Lucky Charms, wear horseshoes on your feet, paint yourself in SEVENS and find all the four leaf clovers that EXIST IN THE WORLD. Then, MAYBE THEN, it’ll be enough to beat me.
(Harmen smiles before deeply inhaling.)
JACK HARMEN: I know what you’re going through. The stars have to align, the cards have to fall perfectly, everyone discounts you. I know what it’s like. I spent the first ten years of my career as THE underdog. It’s kind of freeing, isn’t it? I mean, just last round I was the underdog to Troy. Now I’m the favorite again. And there’s a simple reason. It’s not because I was able to beat Troy Windham on my way to the Sweetest of the Sweet. It’s because I can end a match in a SINGLE moment. I never meant to say beating you would be EASY Pat. You’re a solid competitor who’s been able to survive this far. You’re young, talented, and hungry. I see a lot of myself in you.
(Harmen leans forward, a serious look on his face.)
JACK HARMEN: I just meant it would be QUICK. One mistake is ALL it takes. Boyd, McDonough and Windham have all seen that happen. All it takes is for one slip, one mess up, and while you recover slightly dazed and confused, knowing you screwed up, I’ll be charging toward you with a full head of steam… 3:10 Locomotive to Yuma straight through your cranium.
(The corner of Harmen’s lips curl upward in a half smile.)
JACK HARMEN: And sorry for the concussion you’ll inevitably have. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you don’t fall asleep after our match. It’s the least I can do.
(Harmen shrugs, and steps toward the camera. He frames himself in a close up, grabbing the camera by its edges.)
JACK HARMEN: Maybe I was a little soft out the gate. Young love is a sobering reality. I made my name through anger, chaos and vengeance and all those feelings are the OPPOSITE of love.
(Harmen’s grin rivals that of the Cheshire Cat.)
JACK HARMEN: But you made one fatal flaw.
You called me by my slave name. And I HATE my past life. Using it warrants a sentence WORSE THAN DEATH!
My name is High Flyer? NO! THWACK with a shillelagh.
(Harmen SLAPS his palm as he says the word ‘Thwack.’)
JACK HARMEN: No. No. No! My name is JACK HARMEN. THWACKED with a shillelagh.
(Harmen slaps his palm again. His eyes bulge.)
JACK HARMEN: MY NAME IS JACK HARMEN! And I will RUN you the F*CK over! All it takes is one mistake.
(Harmen laughs and walks away. The camera remains filming the slightly swaying Ultratitle banner in the background.)
JACK HARMEN (O.S.): Here's a penny for the wishing well. Maybe it'll help.
(A CLINK of a penny being flipped in the air. The penny falls and clatters on the floor. The camera zooms in on it as it lands tails up. FADE OUT.)
(FADEIN: A local RADIO STATION in GREENSBURO, North Carolina. A fast taking DJ is currently on the air, a red blinking light shining over his shoulder. He speaks into a large microphone with a wind screen while sitting behind a large control panel. A large ESEN banner is over his other shoulder. He wears a brown tweed jacket and an ESEN t-shirt.)
DJ: I hope you all enjoyed L-M-F-A-O, but today on the Afternoon Annoyance, I’ve got a very special guest. You may know him as the voice of the Grand Inquisitor on the Venture Bros. Maybe you know him as the cameraman from Pawnee Today on Parks and Recs. You probably know him as professional wrestler High Flyer. Today, Jack Harmen, a man of many faces is in our studio. Jack. How you doing today?
(Jack Harmen sits on the other side of the control panel wearing a headset. He has his feet kicked up on the desk and is wearing his “Superfly Express” NFW t-shirt with khaki pants. Harmen smiles and nods.)
JACK HARMEN: I’m doing great. Yourself?
(Back to our DJ, who shifts through numerous notes written on loose stacks of paper.)
DJ: Better than most. Jack’s here today to promote the return of the CSWA. Blue Moon, but he’s also got quite a few other projects in the works. The one that’s been getting the most attention is the Sweet Sixteen of the Ultratitle tournament. Now, this trophy is something that’s been in the annuals of professional wrestling for what, seventeen years now?
JACK HARMEN: Longer. I’d wager 20 if I were a betting man.
(Our DJ buries his head in his notes.)
DJ: Created by the CSWA, the Ultratitle is the pinnacle of professional wrestling. The last winner in 2007 was Nova, your current tag team partner in the New Frontier Wrestling circuit. And while you’ve been able to outlast one hundred and twelve of professional wrestlings best and brightest, you’re not even halfway through this thing.
JACK HARMEN: It’s a marathon, not a race.
(The DJ lifts his head and leans back in his chair.)
DJ: But before we get into that, Jack, let’s get into some basics. For those of our listeners who may not know who you are, care to give us all a quick Primer?
(Harmen smiles and clears his throat.)
JACK HARMEN: Sure. I’m a twenty year professional wrestler who’s traveled all around the globe. Headlined shows in Mexico and Japan. Made my name in the IWO and FWO here in the states. Not many people know I own the library rights to IWO these days.
JACK HARMEN: Won seven World Championships across seven different promotions. Been on the F-Dub circuit the past few years in EPW and NFW. Been doing a lot of voice work and bit parts in movies and TV. Had scenes cut from the Wrestler, Funny People and the Avengers. So if I get my face on camera in Hollywood, it looks like I’m more likely to be cut on the editing room floor than any other actor. I feel like I’m Johnny Drama sometimes.
DJ: The Avengers huh?
JACK HARMEN: Yeah. Been a Whedon fan for decades. Extra’d on Dollhouse just because. Asked for a bit role. I was in the diner scene that got cut. It’s why that girl at the end is talking about Captain America like she knows him really well. I expect to see myself on the DVD in the deleted scene or HEADS WILL ROLL!
DJ: Plus I hear you’re in talks to finalize a deal for the “Team Viagra Variety Hour, actual run time twenty two minutes,” a reality show with sketch comedy elements?
JACK HARMEN: Well I’ve been filming my Gym, the Odessa Dungeon, on a twenty four / seven loop. We’ve followed me teaching these younger wrestling pupils during my stint in the Ultratitle tournament. We cut together some footage and got some great feedback. So, fingers crossed.
DJ: Nice. Nice. No guarantees in Hollywood OR wrestling these days, am I right?
JACK HARMEN: I CAN guarantee I’ll be ready and focused for my Sweet Sixteen opponent in the Ultratitle, young second generation wrestler and Infinite Superstar Pat Gordon Jr.
DJ: Now I’ve been doing this for a while on ESEN and the Gordon name is something I’ve heard whispered in the history of Fwrestling. This is the same wrestling family?
JACK HARMEN: It is. And while Gordon hasn’t had much success in Infinite so far, he’s really surprised people here in this Ultratitle tournament getting as far as he has.
DJ: I did look, had interns research predictions made by some of the experts of our circuit here at ESEN. Not many people had the youngest going over Suicide. Even still, most people predicting this tournament had whoever won Suicide/Gordon losing to NFW superstar and former champion Joe the Plumber in round two.
JACK HARMEN: Followers of the Ultratitle know what happened with the unstoppable Joe. Most of the leading experts had the bottom eight of their bracket 4 predictions cracked by Joe failing in the first round.
DJ: Opened the way to the newest superstar in Gordon, haven’t they?
JACK HARMEN: I wouldn’t say newest superstar. He certainly has as much of a chance of winning this as Cameron Cruise, Eli Flair or Castor V. Strife, without a doubt. But Gordon’s going to have his toughest challenges from here on out, and I don’t know if a man with thirteen matches under his belt has the experience and tenacity to overcome some of these veterans we’ve got left in this tournament. Myself included.
DJ: You have more years in your career than your opponent has had matches.
JACK HARMEN: Some of those years I’d be on the road 300 days, wrestling 200, 250 times in a year. Not to discount the guy, but anything Pat Gordon Jr. throws at me will be something I’ve seen at least a dozen times.
DJ: Can’t discredit anyone who’s made it this far…
JACK HARMEN: Oh God no. Guy thought I was too! I never meant it like that. But c’mon. I’ve been in this business as long as Troy Windham. All I need to see is one opening, one mistake, and POW. My charging boot called the Locomotive will run him over and give me the victory needed to move me on to Sagawa and Deacon.
DJ: Some may think you’re underestimating Gordon. Perhaps you’ve let the fact everyone’s picked you as the favorite in this match go to your head?
JACK HARMEN: The way I see it, I just gotta wait out until Gordon makes his first mistake. Whether it happens five minutes in or sixty, eventually, Gordon’s gonna flub. When I was his age, I made more mistakes in a single match than I have now in the past month. And as I’ve gained experience and worked in this business, I’ve had to go sixty minutes without making a single mistake. Hell, I’ve gone ninety minutes at times. I’m looking at the Shivaree in nbW and May Mayhem in IWO in particular. Both those matches I had to go over sixty and defeat thirty two or forty other individuals to be proclaimed the winner. Not to mention FWO’s Meltdown, where I beat Doctor Curiosity early in the show, then had to outlast 38 other superstars in a battle royal, before squaring off in an epic one on one contest with Rana Venenosa to gain a shot at the FWO Championship. Here? I only have to outlast ONE guy. One match in a night? I’m fairly confidant in my ability to do just that.
DJ: So, let’s get into Blue—
JACK HARMEN: I just wanna say one last thing to Gordon.
(A slight pause as we hear Jack inhale.)
JACK HARMEN: Pat Gordon Jr. The second generation star. You’ve already put your family name back on the map. I see great things ahead of you in Infinite and wherever you go. If you ever wanna attend one of my seminars consider it gratis. But, my friendly disposition here on this radio show will not be the Lunatic you see in the ring when we square off. When it’s you and me in the Sweet Sixteen, I have every intention of tearing your head clear off your body with my charging Locomotive. And as you stare up at the lights, knowing you’ll have to wait another year or two until you’re next Ultratitle opportunity, I’ll reach down, give you my hand, and pick you back up.
JACK HARMEN: And FYI. If you can find Keith Scott Zimmerman, it would be probably be wise to look him up. That guy has my number like no other.
DJ: Giving tips out to your competition?
JACK HARMEN: Hey. I want a challenge. I want Gordon to push me to my limit. Cause I know whoever wins Sagawa/Deacon is going to do just that, and I want to be prepared. I want Gordon to test me, and I want Gordon to put everything he can into defeating the time traveling, snow selling, friendly neighborhood Lunatic.
DJ: We’ve got to pay some bills Jack, but remember, CSWA returns here on ESEN with Blue Moon in the next few days!
JACK HARMEN: The CSWA debut of Team VIAGRA. Also, there’s New Frontier Wrestling preparing the next Reloaded for air. And PRIME is returning, as I square off against my NFW tag partner Nova in Revolution 248’s main event. And remember to check out the Odessa Dungeon for all your wrestling training needs?
DJ: You got all your plugs in?
JACK HARMEN: Hey! I’m a busy man.
DJ: That you are. We’ll be right back with CSWA superstar and Ultratitle competitor Jack Harmen, as we discuss the resurrected Championship Wrestling Association and their upcoming show, Blue Moon.
(The DJ runs some commercials as the red blinking “On Air” light turns off. The DJ leans in and smiles to Harmen.)
DJ: I think it’s going pretty well, don’t you?
JACK HARMEN: 'Cept you couldn’t get Gordon on the show so I could ***** slap him.
JACK HARMEN: It’s called heat! Look it up.
(The DJ smiles.)
DJ: I’ll have an intern do just that.
(As the two continue to converse over the commercial break, the camera pulls out on a dolly and fades to black.)
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