jediPREZ
Shadowboss
REAL NAME: Jon Katz Jr.
BORN: March 31 1982
HOMETOWN: New York, New York
HEIGHT: 6'1
WEIGHT: 165
VALETS: Cookies and Cream, the FW versions of Missy Elliot and Paris Hilton that like to screw the Jew till the sun turns blue.
THEME MUSIC: 'The Humpty Dance'
MANAGING: Shawn Jessica Hart
NFW ROLES: On-Show Interviewer/Backstage Instigator/Manager
BIOGRAPHY: The original pro wrestling universe Jon Katz first started out in the 1991 You are the Wrestler League PYRA. The 42 year old legend Jon 'Cruncher' Katz racked up a few titles there, before the fed disbanded. Late in 1993, Katz was hired by the CSWA as a Vice President.
It was around this time that Katz started heavily experimenting with drugs as life with a bratty, rich kid and a nightmare Jewish wife had all but eaten his soul and cut off his dick.
During a crazy acid trip in '95, Katz devised a scheme to launder millions of dollars from the CSWA. Succeeding w/ the infamous 'it's my evil twin brother' plan, Katz netted around 50 million dollars and took off for Northern California.
(EDITORIAL COMMENTARY: Its been rumoured that for the last 8 years, Katz has supplied 75% of California's finest sticky-icky.)
In this criminal venture, Katz left behind a 14 year old mensch of a little man in the harsh realities of upper-upper class Long Island, NY with a mother that wouldn't allow him to go out on Friday Nights because those were the rules of the Sabbath.
'MOM! YOU CAN'T EVEN READ HEBREW! WE READ PRAYERS IN ENGLISH!'
Deaf ears, challah bread shoved in his mouth and nothing more.
Obviously, by becoming the Kind Kingpin of California -- Katz supplied the family he left behind with millions upon millions upon millions of dollars, even built them a house on Huntington Beach for visits to the West Coast.
Even with this endless life of luxury, Jon Katz, Jr. grew to hate his father for leaving him with his mother. 'Why didn't he take me from that wretched woman!?!?!' he'd cry at night under his Star of David glow on the dark ceiling star set she bought for him as a child. Katz would tell his son 'that his new life as a middle aged hippie living the credo of Jerry wouldn't allow for such tie-downs and buzzkills.'
Katz, Jr. grew to hate the Grateful Dead that 16th birthday of his. His bagel and lox brunch ruined by the cold, hard fact that his papa was a rolling stone.
It was the late 90's at this point, the music scene of America was changing. The sounds of rock and roll reminded Katz, Jr. of the bong hit tokin' father that abandoned him.
Enter Warren G and Nate Dogg.
'REGULATORS! MOUNNNNNNNT UP!'
The music swirled in his years and ignited his soul.
The beat boomed in his soul...
'THIS MUST HAVE BEEN WHAT MOSES FELT!'
He cried out as Nate Dogg presented Warren G with 2 *****es of the finest ho selection in Compton, LA. It was from this day forward that Jon Katz, Jr. vowed to live his life according to the ways of the G-Funk, the B.I.G, and the Jay-Z's of the world.
HIP HOP.
RAP MUZAK.
Awwwwwwwww yeah.
With millions of dollars from his father, Katz Jr. has built a successful Hip-Hop musical distribution company. Co-founded with none other than 'DYNO-MIIIIIIITE!' Jimmie Walker, WHITEFISH RECORDS, Co. has been labeled as the 'future of hip-hop' by both JET Magazine and The Jewish Times.
(EDITORIAL COMMENTARY: Its a little known fact that Jimmie Walker got addicted to Jewish food when attending a Passover Seder at the Kravitz's house in the late 70's, when Jimmie was still a star on 'Good Times,' while Lenny's mother flourished on 'The Jeffersons'. Thus, Jimmie and Jon Katz, Jr. met randomly in a deli on the Lower East Side of NYC and a partnership was born.)
By the age of 25, Katz Jr. has become a hip-hop media mogul and had bagels with luminaries like George Clinton and James Brown all the way to 50 Cent and Snoop Dog.
...but he still can't forget what his father did to him. So, now he's going to try and top him in the arena where Katz made all his money in the first place.
WRESTLING.
(DISCLAIMER: The whole Jimmie Walker likes Jewish Food may or may not be true, but if it is that's DYNOOOOOOO-MIIIIIIIIIITE!)
BORN: March 31 1982
HOMETOWN: New York, New York
HEIGHT: 6'1
WEIGHT: 165
VALETS: Cookies and Cream, the FW versions of Missy Elliot and Paris Hilton that like to screw the Jew till the sun turns blue.
THEME MUSIC: 'The Humpty Dance'
MANAGING: Shawn Jessica Hart
NFW ROLES: On-Show Interviewer/Backstage Instigator/Manager
BIOGRAPHY: The original pro wrestling universe Jon Katz first started out in the 1991 You are the Wrestler League PYRA. The 42 year old legend Jon 'Cruncher' Katz racked up a few titles there, before the fed disbanded. Late in 1993, Katz was hired by the CSWA as a Vice President.
It was around this time that Katz started heavily experimenting with drugs as life with a bratty, rich kid and a nightmare Jewish wife had all but eaten his soul and cut off his dick.
During a crazy acid trip in '95, Katz devised a scheme to launder millions of dollars from the CSWA. Succeeding w/ the infamous 'it's my evil twin brother' plan, Katz netted around 50 million dollars and took off for Northern California.
(EDITORIAL COMMENTARY: Its been rumoured that for the last 8 years, Katz has supplied 75% of California's finest sticky-icky.)
In this criminal venture, Katz left behind a 14 year old mensch of a little man in the harsh realities of upper-upper class Long Island, NY with a mother that wouldn't allow him to go out on Friday Nights because those were the rules of the Sabbath.
'MOM! YOU CAN'T EVEN READ HEBREW! WE READ PRAYERS IN ENGLISH!'
Deaf ears, challah bread shoved in his mouth and nothing more.
Obviously, by becoming the Kind Kingpin of California -- Katz supplied the family he left behind with millions upon millions upon millions of dollars, even built them a house on Huntington Beach for visits to the West Coast.
Even with this endless life of luxury, Jon Katz, Jr. grew to hate his father for leaving him with his mother. 'Why didn't he take me from that wretched woman!?!?!' he'd cry at night under his Star of David glow on the dark ceiling star set she bought for him as a child. Katz would tell his son 'that his new life as a middle aged hippie living the credo of Jerry wouldn't allow for such tie-downs and buzzkills.'
Katz, Jr. grew to hate the Grateful Dead that 16th birthday of his. His bagel and lox brunch ruined by the cold, hard fact that his papa was a rolling stone.
It was the late 90's at this point, the music scene of America was changing. The sounds of rock and roll reminded Katz, Jr. of the bong hit tokin' father that abandoned him.
Enter Warren G and Nate Dogg.
'REGULATORS! MOUNNNNNNNT UP!'
The music swirled in his years and ignited his soul.
The beat boomed in his soul...
'THIS MUST HAVE BEEN WHAT MOSES FELT!'
He cried out as Nate Dogg presented Warren G with 2 *****es of the finest ho selection in Compton, LA. It was from this day forward that Jon Katz, Jr. vowed to live his life according to the ways of the G-Funk, the B.I.G, and the Jay-Z's of the world.
HIP HOP.
RAP MUZAK.
Awwwwwwwww yeah.
With millions of dollars from his father, Katz Jr. has built a successful Hip-Hop musical distribution company. Co-founded with none other than 'DYNO-MIIIIIIITE!' Jimmie Walker, WHITEFISH RECORDS, Co. has been labeled as the 'future of hip-hop' by both JET Magazine and The Jewish Times.
(EDITORIAL COMMENTARY: Its a little known fact that Jimmie Walker got addicted to Jewish food when attending a Passover Seder at the Kravitz's house in the late 70's, when Jimmie was still a star on 'Good Times,' while Lenny's mother flourished on 'The Jeffersons'. Thus, Jimmie and Jon Katz, Jr. met randomly in a deli on the Lower East Side of NYC and a partnership was born.)
By the age of 25, Katz Jr. has become a hip-hop media mogul and had bagels with luminaries like George Clinton and James Brown all the way to 50 Cent and Snoop Dog.
...but he still can't forget what his father did to him. So, now he's going to try and top him in the arena where Katz made all his money in the first place.
WRESTLING.
(DISCLAIMER: The whole Jimmie Walker likes Jewish Food may or may not be true, but if it is that's DYNOOOOOOO-MIIIIIIIIIITE!)
Last edited: