Random Interviewer: I'm standing by with Joe McManus, member of the RDJW team. Joe, how are you doing?
JM: I'm doing good. Doing good. Can't really complain now. Back in the states. Feels good. Y'know, haven't been here for five years. Yep.
RI: Oh, well, how does it feel to be back?
JM: I just answered that.
RI: Oh.
JM: Yeah. I mean... when you lived in a shanty owned by your local warlord who pitted people against each other in illegal pit fights... well, you know, well, you know, right?
RI: Nope, can't say I've ever been in an illegal pit fight.
JM: Well, let's just say it's hell. Like, this one time, I got gashed real bad over my eye, and umm, well, fire ants. Let's just say I was lucky that they didn't burrow far enough in to reach my eye sockets or else I might not be here today.
RI: Quite the harrowing tale.
JM: What? I just stood here and told you about how insects almost ate my brain adn all you can say is quite the harrowing tale? Dude, I should just rip your head off your shoulders right now. Right here, right now. Don't think I won't do it, because I have. Yes, I have. You know, you'll do some pretty desperate things when the 13 year old underage hooker you happen to be romantically involved in on the plantation is being held at gunpoint. But I will. I WILL! Oh yeah, honey, if you're watching and, you like still know I'm alive, well, I never actually did the 13 year old girl. So... love you.
RI: Oookay... so, any final words before your match?
JM: Well, now that I'm back in the states and free from the oppressive grip of that illegal fight ring, I think I'm gonna go have a burger, kick Turk's ass and then, y'know, maybe stay here and never go back to Brazil.
RI: Alright, you heard it here, Joe McManus slept with an underage hooker and he's going to get a burger.
JM: YOU ASSHOLE! I'LL KILL YOU!
[static]
