LVW High Stakes Battle Royal (11)

[The Great Eye]

(FADEIN: The ring inside the House of Blues at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino. Where JEFF MAYES and VIC WATERS are standing. Mayes has on a dark blue suit jacket, pants, a light blue button up shirt and dark blue tie. Waters has on a brown suit jacket and pants with a white shirt, no tie.)

MAYES: WELCOME TO LVW AND IT'S TIME TO CROWN A CHAMPION!!!! (Crowd pops loud! "L-V-DUB!" chants!) Tonight 30 men will put it all on the line in the High Stakes Battle Royal, and one man will walk out the NEW LVW CHAMPION!

WATERS: All I know is Mayes, is that I'm sick and tired of this mutant freaks marking out for Donovan and Olvir, and I'm hoping against hope that neither one of them are walking out of here with the belt tonight! (Crowd gives Waters some static)

MAYES: Speaking of the belt, let's get the camera on it!

(The camera cuts to a small table at ringside, where THE FLOOR is seated, wearing a black suit jacket, with a dark green shirt and no tie, in front of him rests the LVW Championship belt, it's strap cranberry red and the metal all silver or platinum, looking much like the old school NWA TV Title belt,except that the headplate has the letters "LVW" incrusted in diamonds on a spinner plate.)

MAYES: And that ladies and gentleman is what these men will be fighting for tonight, We got ourselves an extra 30 minutes tonight on KCLV! The High Stakes Battle Royal begins, NEXT!

 

[The Great Eye]

Re: LVW High Stakes Battle Royal

(FADEIN: The ring where JERRY HARWELL, wearing a black with white pinstripes suit with a white shirt and black/white striped tie stands, the bell rings.)

HARWELL: The following contest is the LVW...HIGH STAKES BATTLE ROYAL...The winner will be the LVW CHAMPION! The rules are simple, you must go over the top rope and have both feet touch the floor to be eliminated, last man remaining is THE CHAMPION! (Crowd pops!)

HARWELL: And here is the man who drew...NUMBER...ONE!

(MUSIC UP: "Jesus Christ Superstar" as BILL BELLMOTH, wearing his all black get up walks out to loud jeering from the crowd. Bellmoth shakes his head in disgust at his horrible luck...He looks to the camer and says "Number 1...Really? every time I get in the ring some donkey has to come and anally violate me like a 12 year old virgin...F*CK this SH*T I'm never wrestling again.")

MAYES: Bellmoth as usual is all cheer and good spirits as he enters the ring.

WATERS: It's such an injustice, I can't believe this legend of wrestling has been once again screwed by management...This is an outrage!

MAYES: Bellmoth is a worthless loser and he deserves every last bit of this...

HARWELL: And here is the man who drew NUMBER...TWO!

(MUSIC UP: "Never Gonna Give You Up" By Rick Ashley as the crowd boos RICH ANDREWS as he walks to the ring, looking less then happy, his blue wrestling singlet pulled snug over his frame.)

MAYES: And here's the man who lost the most from Big Risk, Big Reward as Andrews got stuck with the #2.

WATERS: I can only hope Bellmoth makes quick work of him, we need my man fresh here!

(Harwell leaves the ring, and the bell rings! A giant clock over the entrance ramp turns on, showing the countdown from 2 minutes)

MAYES: Bellmoth and Andrews circle...Andrews with a go-behind into a waist lock...Bellmoth sits out and now Andrews is on top and has him pancaked on the mat.

WATERS: This might be effective college wrestling but it's not going to get him where he needs to go here, he's got to get Bellmoth tossed out of the ring, big dummy!

MAYES: Andrews continues to control Bellmoth on the ground and now switches from a waistlock to a headlock on Bellmoth...Bellmoth yelling, I think those sunglasses are grinding into his skull...Andrews keeping the pressure on as Bellmoth now fighting to his feet...Bellmoth sends Andrews to the ropes...Bellmoth drops down and Andrews drops back on him with a headlock! Bellmoth pounds on the mat in anger! (Crowd pops for Bellmoth's misery)

WATERS: About all this idiot has done is milk the clock, now we're gonna get another man in this thing!

(Crowd counts down from 10 as Andrews continues to keep Bellmoth headlocked, the buzzer goes off and a non-descript man, maybe 6 foot, about 20 pounds overweight, wearing a white wife beater, and faded blue jeans heads towards the ring wearing a green mask.)

MAYES: And apparently the next man in the High Stakes Battle Royal is a man in a green mask...

WATERS: I think I got better odds of winning this thing then he does

MAYES: Given that they let him in, did you draw a number?

WATERS: No comment

MAYES: Green Mask now in the ring and he's kicking away on Andrews who gets up and the two men are trading punches...Andrews moves Green Mask towards the ropes and now he's got one leg on the top rope...And another...He's about to dump him! WAIT!! BELLMOTH FROM BEHIND GRABS ANDREWS!!! HE'S THROWN THEM BOTH OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!

WATERS: What a great move! Bellmoth comes through in the big spot!

MAYES: Wait a minute! Bellmoth rolls out of the ring, and he's grabbing the LVW TItle! What is he thinking?!

BELLMOTH: WHOO! I did it! (Bellmoth rolls back into the ring) TWELVE TIME CHAMPION BABY!!! (Bellmoth climbs onto the second rope, holding the LVW Title aloft, the crowd booing loudly!)

MAYES: The Floor now in the ring fighting with Bellmoth, telling him he's not the champion.

BELLMOTH: Look, can I get a ruling from somebody higher then you on this? I mean honestly, this is a joke. I'm the only man left standing, how can I not be the champion?

FLOOR: You're not the champion, and no, you can't go over my head on this...Give me the belt now.

(Bellmoth disgustedly hands the belt to the Floor, who gets a solid "Floor!" chant, the seconds tick down.)

MAYES: And our next entrant into the High Stakes Battle Royal!

(The clock hits 0 and the MASSIVE 1248 steps onto the entranceway, Bellmoth looking like he's seen a ghost! A loud "12! 48! chant breaks out!)

MAYES: Look who's here to clean up! The security force of the Mandalay Bay, it's 1248!

WATERS: What an injustice, from being robbed of the LVW Title to now having to deal with this monster!

MAYES: 1248 in the ring now, Bellmoth...Out of the ring, he's trying to stall, trying to get more people out here, but it's not working as 1248 now gives chase! Bellmoth being chased around the ring! HE TRIPS! 1248 now stomping away on the prone Bellmoth and now throws him into the ring. 1248 now motions for the chokeslam! He's got Bellmoth by the throat...BELLMOTH KICKS HIM LOW!

WATERS: What a smart move!

MAYES: What a dirty move you mean! Bellmoth quickly fires in a series of right hands to the face of 1248 who's staggering from the shots...And now Bellmoth has him in the corner and he's trying to muscle the big man up...That isn't working at all...And now 1248 just LAUNCHES Bellmoth across the ring...1248 trying to get his wits about him, and Bellmoth in the opposite corner, bleeding clock!

WATERS: We're only 30 seconds away from another wrestler to take the heat off Bellmoth

MAYES: Or somebody who wants to finish him off...1248 with a charge into the corner, Bellmoth sidesteps the move and now starts kicking to the mid-section of the big man....Bellmoth with an eye gouge and now he's backing off, as the seconds tick down, he's hoping for help!

WATERS: C'Mon, let Bellmoth catch lucky one time...ONE TIME!

(Crowd counts down and the buzzer sounds! Stepping out from the curtain is BORN AGAIN, wearing a black sports coat over a white shirt, black pants,cut a little above the ankle to show black wrestling boots with white crosses on them. In one hand Born Again has a collection plate, in the other is a bible. He walks to the ring slowly, finally putting the plate, and bible in a corner of the ring, and then pulling out a bottle marked "Holy Water" on it from the sports jacket, which he then takes off. He runs his hands over his flowing blond hair before finally entering the ring.)

WATERS: You know this guy might just give 7-10 a run for his money on the insane scale...

MAYES: Born Again, making his debut here in LVW, and I don't know if it's really correct to say this about a man of the Lord, but he appears to be armed to the teeth. Born Again not exactly rushing to Bellmoth's aid as Bill is being choked senseless in the corner...

WATERS: Dammit...Come on Born Again! Help out the master!

MAYES: Born Again now...Praying in the corner?! Oh you have to be kidding me...1248 seems to see Born Again's delaying from entering the fray and now comes over to him...BORN AGAIN CRACKS 1248 WITH THE DONATION PLATE! 1248 staggers...ANOTHER SHOT! 1248 drops to the mat, his eyes are rolling in the back of his head!

WATERS: That's one way to handle a big maniac! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE!

MAYES: 1248 and Bellmoth are down on the mat, Born Again now kneeling over 1248...He makes the sign of the cross...AND NOW HE PUTS AN IRON CLAW ON 1248!

WATERS: The laying of hands!

MAYES: Born Again, screaming incoherently! Is he speaking in tounges?! That hold is doing nothing, 1248 was out from the shots from that collection plate!

WATERS: How dare you question the ways of the Lord!

MAYES: When the hell did you become a Born Again mark?

WATERS: When he finally got off his ass and saved Bellmoth!

(Born Again finally releases the Laying On Hands after a few more moments and now begins shouting)

BORN AGAIN: What is thy will my lord?! You wish for me to remove these sinners from thy ring?! It shall be done! PRAISE THE LORD! (Crowd begins booing loud!)

MAYES: Born Again now trying to lift up the dead weight of 1248 as we're awaiting the next man in the Rumble and we know that's going to be A-Rod.

WATERS: Maybe, maybe The Captain switched with him out of a token of respect.

MAYES: I doubt that a lot

(The countdown hits 0 and A-ROD, in a white with black pinstripes uniform with an "E" over the breast makes his way to the ring,)

MAYES: A-Rod now making his way to the ring as Born Again is trying to get 1248 back to his feet...A-Rod grabs 1248 and just TOSSES him from the ring! Born Again looks horrified as he takes a couple big right hands from A-Rod...Born Again staggers...BIG BOOT BY A-ROD SENDS BORN AGAIN THROUGH THE ROPES AND TO THE FLOOR!

WATERS: He's not eliminated! He didn't go over the top!

MAYES: You're right about that! Bellmoth jumps on A-Rod's back and is trying for a sleeper...A-Rod CRUSHES him into a corner and now grabs Bellmoth by his jacket and TOSSES HIM OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!

WATERS: A-Rod cleaning house, if he can last long enough for the Captain to get out here, The Empire could have a strangle hold on this thing!

MAYES: A-Rod standing alone in the ring...Wait a second, Born Again crawling under the ring...You have to be kidding me...Fans we'll be right back!!

 

[The Great Eye]

Re: LVW High Stakes Battle Royal

(FADEIN: The ring where A-Rod holds the Green Masked Jobber from earlier in the show, only now he has a blue mask...A-Rod waits a beat or two before tossing him over the top and to the floor!)

MAYES: A-Rod with another eliminaton and now he's waiting for his next opponent as the clock winds down...

(The buzzer sounds and old school jobber G. I. Stink makes his way to the ring, looking order and more worn then normal, a graphic on the screen reads "G. EYE. Stink")

WATERS: How cute, we changed how the "I" was spelled so we can't get sued

MAYES: A guy who's been in the business forever, Stink hits the ring, and A-Rod CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!! That was a short night of work for Mr. Stink!

WATERS: I hope they cut his pay for that, what a joke!

MAYES: A-Rod getting the crowd behind him...I think some of them are trying to tell him that Born Again is under the ring, but he's not hearing it.

WATERS: Sometimes Kayfabe strikes a man deaf, it's tragic to see really.

MAYES: A-Rod pacing around waiting for the next man to finally show up...The clock under 30 seconds...This crowd buzzing...15 seconds...The countdown...THE BUZZER!

(Gomer Pyle, former flunkie of Doc Silver, shambles out to the ring, looking a good 40 pounds over his ring weight, wearing a blue wife beater and camo pants)

MAYES: It's Gomer Pyle! Who would have thought he'd show up here!

WATERS: I did, geezus Mayes, don't you read the net? The whole list of who's in this thing has been on-line for 4 hours...Man I can't wait for number -- Ow!

MAYES: I'm sorry for my smark partner who might be replaced by a trained monkey next week if he can't quit trying to get cred with the IWC. Pyle hits the ring and he and A-Rod start exchanging punches, the two men trading shots but A-Rod now getting the best of it and backs Pyle into the corner...Pyle sent to the other side and he staggers out...INTO A BIG CLOTHESLINE FROM A-ROD! Pyle down and the crowd is on it's feet for A-Rod!

WATERS: This kid is MONEY...He just has to come through in the clutch!

MAYES: A-Rod getting Pyle to his feet and now he SCOOPS UP THE BIG MAN...AND THROWS HIM OUT OF THE RING!

(Crowd chanting "EM-PIRE!" and "A-ROD!" off and on)

MAYES: A-Rod dominating...He's got to wait for his next opponent, who we know is going to be 7-10 Jack Hudgins.

WATERS: I'm worried about this one...

MAYES: Why? A-Rod's handled everyone up to this point.

WATERS: The insane have powers...Scary powers...

(The buzzer sounds and "7-10" JACK HUDGINS shambles out from the curtain, wearing a light blue blowing shirt with "Jack" written on the breast in cursive. in white. He has on tight fitting powder blue pants and has a brand new pair of Dexter Men's SST 8 black bowling shoes on...He has a bowling glove on his right hand which is holding his bowling bowling ball bag, which most likely contains "Super Freak")

WATERS: This guy is so far gone...

MAYES: The most likely not competent to stand trail Jack Hudgins now entering the ring...A-Rod giving him a little space here as he sizes up Hudgins.

HUDGINS: We playing on a Scorpion here or what? How you scoring so well?

MAYES: What the hell is he talking about?

WATERS: I really don't know...I wish I could do enough drugs to get into his head to see what he sees.

MAYES: I'm pretty sure that amount of drugs would kill you...Or make you just like him and lost to the world...A-Rod has had enough and he fires a right hand into 7-10 who fires back, the two men now trading shots...7-10 with a knee to the stomach and now stomping A-Rod into the ground in the corner...

HUDGINS: YOU SCUMBAG! I'M TRYING TO READ THIS LANE!!!! WALTER RAY IS COMING...AND HE'S GONNA GET HIS!!!

MAYES: Hudgins now backs off A-Rod...Is he...Pretending to bowl?

WATERS: Yes...Yes he is...Is it normal to be crying now?

MAYES: I think so...A-Rod trying to get back to his feet...7-10 grabs him and SLAMS him to the mat...Now Hudgins has A-Rod prone in the middle of the ring...And he appears to be having a nervous breakdown.

WATERS: How can you tell?

MAYES: Well he's screaming louder then normal...And now we have our next wrestler about to hit the ring!

(The buzzer sounds, and the jobber who had wore a green mask and a blue mask before, now heads to the ring in a red mask)

MAYES: It appears to be this man's name is Red Mask, a deadly Kung Fu master--

WATERS: (Cutting off Mayes) Oh gimme a break Mayes, it's the same friggin' guy who's already been eliminated twice!

MAYES: That's not what my notes say...Red Mask now in the ring and he's instantly swormed by an attack from 7-10 who's kicking and punching away on him...Red Mask thrown into a corner as 7-10 now goes back to beating up A-Rod...Red Mask now jumps on the back of 7-10 and tries to get him with a sleeper!

WATERS: I think it's for the best if someone were to put Hudgins to sleep...Perhaps to sleep...FOREVER...

MAYES: That's pretty morbid Waters...A-Rod getting to his feet slowly now and now putting kicks into the gut of 7-10 and now they have him in the corner and are trying to get one of his legs over the top rope...7-10 fighting both men as they struggle to try to muscle him out.

WATERS: Dammit, they better get him out quick or somebody else is gonna come in here and screw things up!

(THe clock ticks down and buzzes, out shambles old school LVW mid-carder LIVING DEAD, looking a little older, but still dressed in shabby clothes, covered in dirt and doing his best shambling zombie impression)

MAYES: It's Living Dead! Living Dead with a special appearance here in the High Stakes Battle Royal.

WATERS: Yeah I'm on the edge of my seat Mayes...

MAYES: Fans we'll be right back after this break!

 

[The Great Eye]

Re: LVW High Stakes Battle Royal

(FADEIN: The ring, where during the break FLINT M JACOBS has entered the ring and is kicking and punching away on Living Dead, while Red Mask is laying in a corner and A-Rod and 7-10 are paired off in another corner with A-Rod driving shoulders into the ribs of 7-10)

MAYES: We're back fans and FMJ has made his return to the ring...These five men filling the ring are battling it out as we're nearly half way through the High Stakes Battle Royal, so far the big event has been the early domination by A-Rod of the field...

WATER: But can he finish, that's always been the question for A-Rod!

MAYES: We're about 20 seconds away from getting another entrant into the High Stakes Battle Royal.

(The Red Masked jobber, who had been laying the mat for a while...Sees the clock and suddenly shoots to his feet...He grabs A-Rod, who turns and throws a wild punch that misses by a good few inches, and Red Mask sells it like he's been shot, jumping and landing with his stomach on the top rope...A-Rod gives him a put and Red Mask falls hard to the floor, he gets up clutching his shoulder as he staggers to the back, with his good arm he's ripping at the laces in the back of his mask.)

MAYES: Red Mask has been eliminated, we're only 3 seconds away from a new entrant!

(Red Mask escapes behind the curtain with 2 seconds left, the buzzer goes off. He returns back from the back, now maskless, clutching his injuried shoulder as he makes his way back to the ring, the crowd gives him a mild cheer.)

WATERS: If you try to sell this abortion I'm walking off the set.

MAYES: You're really pushing your luck with me Vic...Well we got a new guy coming into the ring...He seems to be favoring his shoulder a little as he gets in the ring...A-Rod grabs him...and quickly throws him over the top!

WATERS: I'm sure he'll need rest before he comes back out here again, maybe in a pink mask or something.

MAYES: 7-10 now hammering Living Dead in one corner while A-Rod and FMJ are fighting in another...A-Rod with a BIG hiptoss..Jacobs staggers back up...A-ROD GRABS HIM AND TOSSES HIM OUT! A-Rod continues to dominate!

WATERS: This is the potental A-Rod always shows uss...He's just got to make good on it!

MAYES: 7-10 and Living Dead now fighting it on near the ropes...A-ROD WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!! BOTH MEN OVER THE TOP! 7-10 HITS THE APRON WHILE LIVING DEAD HITS THE FLOOR!

WATERS: Dammit A-Rod, quit celebrating and get 7-10 out while you can!

MAYES: It's to late as 7-10 has rolled back into the ring and is A-Rod was celebrating, the countdown continues, and here's #15...Which will be J1D!

(The buzzer sounds and J1D, walks out barefoot as normal with his white board shorts with blue trim, he carries a surfboard with him to the ring and drops it off at ringside. J1D gets a solid pop, which seems to have more men cheering for him then women.)

MAYES: J1D now at ringside...Wait a second...He's going under the ring!

WATERS: What?! The nerve!

MAYES: J1D pulls Born Again out from under the ring! Born Again throwing a fit as J1D unloads on him with right hands and now rolls him into the ring under the bottom rope! J1D hops into the ring aand now he starts throwing big rights into the skull of A-Rod who's staggering under the attack! A-Rod sent to the ropes...BIG DROPKICK FROM J1D!

WATERS: Nice move tree-hugger, you gotta toss people to win!

MAYES: J1D now hammering away on 7-10...Everyone suffering the wrath of J1D who's just gotten into the match. 7-10 pulled up the corner J1D with a BIG hip toss on him! Now he grab Born Again, who was cowering in a corner and brings him over to A-Rod...Both men begging off...DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER!!

WATERS: Dammit, we need The Captain or somebody to get in here and break up J1D's momentum!

MAYES: Well #16 is Super Spade who defeated J1D last week. We'll see what he can do in a few seconds.

WATERS: Come on Super Spade!

(The action in the ring continues as the countdown goes, and then finally the buzzer sounds and Super Spade rushes from the entrace way in a full white body suit with gold trim and the red interlocking "SS" on the chest, the crowd boos the masked man loud!)

WATERS: Great the masked guy again...

MAYES: I don't think he's the same one.

WATERS: What makes you say that?"

MAYES: He's...Black...

WATERS: What do *you* mean you people?!

MAYES: What?!

WATERS: You haven't seen or heard of Tropic Thunder? You suck...

MAYES: Some of us have to work and stuff...Super Spade in the ring and he and J1D going right at it! Spade with rights staggers J1D into the ropes...J1D sent to the ropes...BACKDROP! NO J1D SLAMS SUPER SPADE FACE FIRST TO THE MAT! J1D measuring Super Spade now and rushes forward with a SUPERKICK! NO! 7-10 JUST BEHEADED J1D WITH A CLOTHESLINE!

WATERS: Is there a word in english that means 'more then stiff'?

MAYES: I don't think so...7-10 just MURDERING J1D there...Super Spade gives him no time to celebrate his moment as the superhero hammering away on 7-10 with right hands...Hudgins sent to the corner HARD...He staggers out and takes a BULLDOG! A-Rod now back with his wits about him and he gives 7-10 a kick to the stomach.

WATERS: All this time Born again has been skulking about on the outside of the ring, the refs are yelling at him not to go under the ring again!

MAYES: Born Again having no interest in fighting what-so-ever...What a shining example he'd make as LVW Champion.

WATERS: He's be better then a porn star Viking or a hooker screwing Cowboy, Born Again would give this company moral credibility as champion!

MAYES: You have to be kidding me. A-Rod and 7-10 now fighting in one corner and Super Spade and J1D have renewed their battle...We're closing in on another man entering the rumble!

(the countdown runs out and the buzzer hits. THE SPANIARD in a Red and White mask with black long tights with the spanish flag on both legs. His red boots look freshly polished as he heads towards the ring.)

WATERS: Oh man, not him again!

MAYES: Are you going to say this about every masked man?

WATERS: I'll be right most of the time!

MAYES: The Spaniard jumps into the fray, folks, we'll be right back, the battle for the LVW Championship continues!

 

[The Great Eye]

Re: LVW High Stakes Battle Royal

(FADEIN: The countdown as it finally it hits 0. The buzzer sounds and we see the poor Masked Jobber, this time in a purple mask shambling to the back. As he walks to the back, still holding his shoulder.)

MAYES: While we were away, Purple Mask was sent into the match and eliminated, we're still waiting for the next guy to enter.

WATERS: It's just that idiot getting another mask on.

(The curtain reveals a staggering, glassy eyed "BROADWAY" JOHNNY DOLL who's got one wrestling boot on, one off, no jacket or bowtie, only his black trunks. His face has something on that that may be puke or something just as unfortunate,)

MAYES: Oh...Oh dear...

WATERS: I would have thought somebody might have...Not let him out here like this...

(Doll enters the ring, J1D, A-Rod and Super Spade all quickly get over to Doll once he's in the ring,)

MAYES: J1D and Super Spade have one leg and A-Rod has the over...THey are lifting Doll over the top rope...And...OH...DOLL SPILLS AND HITS THE FLOOR HARD!

(Refs rush over to Doll who's laying on the floor after crashing hard.)

WATERS: I don't know if that swore me off from drinking or if I'm gonna get loaded after the show.

MAYES: Back to the action at hand and J1D has rolled to the outside to check up on Doll, but now he sees Born Again and gives chase! He catches him and throws him back into the ring! Born Again now in the ring pleading for mercy from J1D...I doubt he'll get any.

WATERS: Why should be attack a man of the cloth? What has Born Again ever done to him?

MAYES: He's trying to steal his way to the LVW Championship! And J1D is letting him have it now...J1D from the mount just DROPPING BOMBS ON BORN AGAIN....Meanwhile in the other corner 7-10 now has A-Rod up and is trying to get him out of the ring, The Spaniard helping out!

WATERS: It's...Learning?!

MAYES: I guess so...Super Spade now trying to help 7-10 with the removal of A-Rod...J1D FROM BEHIND GRABS SUPER SPADE AND DUMPS HIM FROM THE RING!!! SUPER SPADE IS ELIMINATED!

WATERS: Dammit! Man I got nothing to look forward to either, that giant freak is coming out next isn't he?!

MAYES: I can't believe you remember that...But yes...We are now mere 10 seconds away from one of the big favorites in this High Stakes Battle Royal...And the crowd is ready!

("OLVIR!" Chants get louder and louder until the buzzer sounds and OLVIR ARSVINNAR rushes to the ring, wearing his normal fur loin cloth over black trunks and knee high fur covered boots.)

MAYES: THE VIKING WARRIOR IS HERE! AND HE'S A HOUSE OF FIRE! J1D TAKES A BIG BOOT! A-ROD EATS A DOUBLE AXE HANDLE! 7-10 TAKES A BIG KNEE! THE SPANIARD ROCKED WITH A BIG RIGHT! And now look...Born again is in the corner, praying, hoping against hope to avoid the gaze of Olvir...(Olvir points at Born Again, getting a big pop from the crowd!)

WATERS: Don't! LEAVE BORN AGAIN ALONE!

MAYES: Oh dear....Oohhhh Dear...Olvir now heading over to Born Again...WAIT J1D WITH A SUPER KICK...OLVIR STAGGERS...INTO A SPARE FROM 7-10!

WATERS: Isn't that a spear?

MAYES: It's a bowling gimmick, I'm going with spare...

WATERS: OK crazy man...Just keep miscalling moves, I'll have a new play by play man in no time!

MAYES: Born Again's praying isn't working as J1D is now hammering away on him...Born Again now quickly latches himself to the bottom rope, wrapping his arms and legs around it, J1D just laying in shots, but he's not going to have much luck trying to move the man.

WATERS: Great game plan by Born Again, survival is everything!

MAYES: 7-10 now has A-Rod and he's trying to get him over the top...The countdown is coming...Who will be next?

(The buzzer sounds and THE CAPTAIN, comes through the curtain. He's wearing a white uniform with black pinstripes and the "E" on the breast like A-Rod, but unlike A-Rod he gets a solid pop from the crowd!)

MAYES: And it's The Captain! Both members of the Empire are now in the High Stakes Battle Royal!

WATERS: It would only be justice if they were final 2...Much better then having Donovan or Olvir!

MAYES: Your hatred of them is jarring. The Empire now quickly putting the boots to Born Again who rushes clutches to the bottom rope now they turn their attention to 7-10 and begin with double team right hands...Hudgins sent to the ropes and FLAPJACKED INTO THE MAT! J1D now charges and clotheslines A-Rod to the mat...The Captain now stomping away on J1D and now Olvir getting his wits about him and he is now working on the task of prying Born Again off the bottom rope. Now The Empire turn their attention to the Spaniard...They have him half way out of the ring...Spaniard over the top he's on the apron now taking a brutal series of kicks from the Empire and finally he falls to the floor!

WATERS: He just couldn't get anything going at all.

MAYES: I'm sure he didn't enjoy the double team at the end either

WATERS: Well that's what happens when the Empire is around!

MAYES: Olvir ripping the hands of Born Again off the bottom rope. Born Again now has been pried free of the ropes and now he runs from Olvir to the corner where he's got that bible and the holy water...He grabs that container of Holy Water and now he throws it at Olvir...THAT'S NOT HOLY WATER!!! IT'S RUBBING ALCOHOL! OLVIR CRUMPLES TO THE MAT BLINDED!

WATERS: How dare you make such a claim...Geez that stinks...

MAYES: Wait a second...Born again just left the ring...He's coming this way?!

WATERS: Hey who better to tell us what's going on the High Stakes Battle Royal then one of the men in it?!

MAYES: You're insane...And ummm...We are in fact being joined here by Born Again...

BORN AGAIN: Hello Gentlemen...You see as I smited that sinful giant with the water purified by the Lord...I heard a message...It said follow the voices...You are the voices...And so here I am...

MAYES: This is gonna end in tears...And we're getting our next man in the High Stakes Battle Royal...

(The buzzer goes off...And the GENTLEMAN OF LEISURE, looking sleepy, wearing a blue long sleeve sweater and blue shorts just below the knee walks out carrying a white blanket, he yawns repeatedly as he makes his way to the ring.)

MAYES: He's in this thing?!

WATERS: I'm telling you Mayes, I might have drawn a number, you could be sitting next to the next LVW Champion...Well, you may already be doing so since Born Again is with us...

MAYES: The GOL now in the ring, and...He's laying down in a corner and trying to sleep? What the hell?

WATERS: Hey, it was a lot of effort for him to get to the ring, he needs a little refresher nap.

MAYES: The Empire now not taking kindly to the GOL's napping on the job...A-Rod and The Captain pulling GOL to his feet and now have a leg each! GOL yelling at them to leave him alone and let him sleep...The Empire now have him and send GOL over the top to the floor!

GOL: You jerks! You're gonna pay for this!

BORN AGAIN: Another soul has his dream of being LVW Champion dashed...That ring is a cruel place...

MAYES: And you're supposed to be in it fighting for the title!

BORN AGAIN: The Lord has plans for us all...I shall return, as shall our Lord...

MAYES: The Empire now back to work on Olvir who's most likely still blinded by that attack from Born again...J1D and 7-10 in another corner going at it...We got two more commerical breaks...When we come back, We should be just in time for #25...The Cowboy Jimmy Donovan!

WATERS: Ugh...Enough with the Cowboy worship!

 

[The Great Eye]

Re: LVW High Stakes Battle Royal

(FADEIN: The ring where Olvir has DENTIST SILVER over his head in a press slam, he LAUNCHES the X-Pac Heat Machine into the crowd, to a loud roar!)

MAYES: And there goes that idiot! The less said about the last two guys in the ring the better!

WATERS: Why? Cause that jobber came back with another mask at #24?!

MAYES: You really just live to bury this company...You're a miserable little man Waters...But now you're gonna be really upset...Cause we're 10 seconds from the Cowboy!

(The crowd is buzzing loud, as the countdown finally hits 0 and "COWBOY" JIMMY DONOVAN bursts through the curtain, wearing black trunks with "COWBOY" in gold on the seat and black ringboots with "JD" in gold on them...The crowd gives a LOUD "DON-O-VAN" chant as he makes his way to the ring!)

MAYES: This place has lost it's mind! Jimmy Donovan is in the ring and hammering away on the Empire! The Captain and A-Rod sent to the mat...J1D now with HARD CHOPS to Donovan, who FIRES BACK!

WATERS: All these guys have been in there a while, Donovan's fresh, this is bad times all around!

MAYES: Donovan cleaning house in there...He grabs A-Rod and THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP! A-ROD LANDS ON THE APRON! The two men trading punches...A-Rod staggers Donovan...The Captain is tied up with J1D and is YELLING across the ring for A-Rod to get back in the ring...WAIT...A-ROD GOING UP TOP!

WATERS: What is he doing?!

MAYES: OLVIR WITH A MIGHTY DOUBLE AXE HANDLE SENDS A-ROD FLYING TO THE FLOOR! A-ROD IS ELIMINATED!

WATERS: Man you got to be kidding me...How does he manage to find a way to blow it...Every friggin time!

MAYES: Olvir now turns his attention to 7-10...Hudgins being beaten with right hand after right hand...J1D and Donovan now having at it...Born Again...Sitting here...

BORN AGAIN: The Lord has blessed me with sanctuary from these demons and sinners...I serve only His purpose.

MAYES: Well somebody else is hitting the ring in a couple seconds, and we'll see what purpose they serve.

(The buzzer sounds and BEN LERNER, looking like IRS, only if IRS hadn't showered or washed his clothes in 2 weeks, walks out to the ring.)

MAYES: Ben Lerner, local ambulance chaser, here to try to win the LVW Title...

WATERS: I'm rooting for him! Go Ben!

MAYES: Lerner hits the ring and OLVIR WITH A BIG BOOT! Lerner rocked...DONOVAN GRABS HIM AND TOSSES HIM! WAIT! THE CAPTAIN FROM BEHIND HAS DONOVAN...THE COWBOY IN TROUBLE!

WATERS: Yes! Dump Donovan!

MAYES: DONOVAN FIGHTING THE CAPTAIN...J1D COMES IN WITH A DROPKICK ON BOTH MEN!!! DONOVAN SENT FLYING AND HITS THE FLOOR!! WOW WHAT A SHOCKING ELIMINATION!!

(Crowd buzzing as Donovan gets to his feet and SLAMS his hands on the ring apron in disgust!)

MAYES: The Captain, with a little assist from J1D just put a big scalp on his mantle, this a real shocker, Jimmy Donovan has been eliminated!

WATERS: YES! Now get rid of Olvir and I don't care who wins?

BORN AGAIN: Why wouldn't you care who wins?

WATERS: Oh...Uhhhh...Well of course I want you to win sir!

MAYES: J1D, 7-10, Olvir, The Captain, in the ring, Born Again...Out here apparently having avoided the attention of the officals at ringside...And now up next will be Nate Dakota who drew the best number in last week's Big Risk, Big Reward show.

WATERS: More like he got handed it after the antics of Hudgins.

(The buzzer sounds and NATE DAKOTA rushes to the ring in tights with one leg black and one leg white and black ring boots.)

MAYES: Nate Dakota has just entered the fray, and fans, we have to take out last ad break, but right after this will be #30 and we WILL crown a new LVW Champion! Don't go anywhere!

 

[The Great Eye]

Re: LVW High Stakes Battle Royal

(FADEIN: The ring, where the poor jobber who's worn so many masks is now wearing a yellow mask and is being beaten up by J1D...Meanwhile legendary old school jobber PI KING DOOK is being hammered in a corner by Olvir, the clock ticking down to 0 for #30...The buzzer sounds...And then stepping through the curtain is the POLISH WAR MACHINE HANS NOWAK... Hans wearing an all red singlet and storms to the ring, getting a mix of boos and "Welcome Back" chants.)

MAYES: IT'S HANS! OH GOOD LORD!!! That mounain of a man hits the ring and just LOBS poor Yellow mask to the floor! PI KING DOOK SENT FLYING OUT OF THE RING!

WATERS: Hans is unstoppable!

MAYES: The whole ring full of men quickly turns on Hans! J1D, 7-10, The Captain and Olvir all grab his legs and now they are fighting...AND THEY MUSCLE HANS OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!

WATERS: NO!!!!

MAYES: Hans is out of here! And we're down to 5 in this match! 4 in the ring...And our unexpected color man out here...

BORN AGAIN: One does never know where the road leads...We merely follow the path the Lord placed in front of us.

MAYES: Olvir takes a right hand from 7-10 and now a kick to the gut sends him into a corner...Hudgins now goes to the other side...He's holding out his right hand...And now he's taking a few steps towards Olvir...Now he backs up...What's he doing?!

WATERS: He's measuring his approach...You want to get that timing down, hell you could committ a foot foul and that would be tragic!

MAYES: I think his madness is rubbing off on you...Hudgins...Having used the hand dryer in his mind and having set up his move now charges at Olvir...SPARE! NO! OLVIR SIDESTEPS...7-10 HITS THE CORNER HARD AND STAGGERS INTO A CLOTHESLINE BY OLVIR THAT SENDS HIM OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!

WATERS: NO!! DAMMIT!!!!

MAYES: We're down to FOUR now as Hudgins is staggering around the floor looking outraged...OH GOD NO!! HE JUST GRABBED THAT BOWLING BALL...HE CHARGES INTO THE RING AND BLASTS OLVIR WITH IT!! J1D...TAKES A SICK SHOT TO THE SKULL FROM 7-10...THE CAPTAIN GETS IT IN THE RIBS...AND NOW HUDGINS CRUSHES HIM IN THE HEAD!!!! SOMEBODY HAS TO STOP THIS!!!

WATERS: Why?! This is great!!!

MAYES: Hudgins has just DESTROYED the ring...Wait a minute...It's that guy Michael who's doing a story about 7-10's life...He's got a mic!

MICHAEL: 7-10! Walter Ray isn't here! He's not coming...But I have good word he'll be at the Orleans bowling alley giving lessons and telling stories tomorrow at 4 PM...We need to get ready to plan for your coming face to face with him!

(7-10 gets a far away look in his eyes as he drops the bowling ball and then BOLTS out of the ring...He can be heard screaming "FINALLY JUSTICE!! As he goes through the curtain to the back.)

MAYES: Well thankfully that kid got Hudgins out of the ring, but now everyone in the High Stakes Battle Royal is out cold.

BORN AGAIN: Not everyone my child...

MAYES: What? Oh no...YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!!

BORN AGAIN: I believe that troubled man and his bowling ball were the weapons of the Lord to strike down the unfaithful and to bring glory to the righteous...Now is the time to bring glory to the Lord...And bring hope the LVW Championship!

(Born again takes off his headset and heads to the ring.)

MAYES: NO! THIS CAN'T HAPPEN! EVERYONE IN THE RING IS MOTIONLESS AND THIS IDIOT IS GONNA STEAL THE TITLE!!

WATERS: How dare you...How dare you question the ways of the Lord...

MAYES: This has nothing to do with God and everything to do with this crazy man now picking the bones after he's hid from fighting this whole match! Born Again now in the ring...He's got The Captain...He's pulling him up...WAIT! THE CAPTAIN WITH A RIGHT HAND! AND ANOTHER! Born Again staggers back into a corner...He grabs that Bible he left here from back when he entered the match and BLASTS THE CAPTAIN WITH IT...THE CAPTAIN KNOCKED OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!!!

WATERS: Many are the tools of the Lord!

MAYES: That...That Bible...There's quarters falling out out it! It's loaded up with rolls of quarters! What kind of a holy man cuts out the pages of a bible and fills them up with rolls of quarters?!

WATERS: A man who wants a safe place to hide his money, anyone who'd steal money out of a Bible has gotta be like, triple damned...They burn in EXTRA hot hell!

MAYES: You're an idiot...J1D slowly geting up now...Born Again waiting on him, holding that loaded Bible in his hands...J1D now is up...BORN AGAIN SWINGS AND MISSES! J1D WITH A SERIES OF PUNCHES ROCKS BORN AGAIN! J1D WITH A DROPKICK SENDS HIM DOWN! That bible goes flying into the crowd who are now collecting all the quarters!

WATERS: Dammit, I could use that money!

MAYES: Born Again quickly rolled himself towards the ropes and is now clinging to the bottom rope for survival as J1D is stomping away on him, trying to pry him off the ropes...Olvir is now getting up...He makes his way over and both he and J1D now beating the hell out of Born Again...If he's out cold he isn't going to be able to keep holding the ropes!

WATERS: ugh, why does the surfer dude have to side with Olvir...This is way to close for comfort with Olvir winning this thing!

MAYES: OLVIR WITH A BIG DOUBLE AXE HANDLE ON J1D! And now a BIG BOOT!! J1D is down...Born Again is down.Olvir pacing...Waiting on them to get up...J1D is up...OLVIR WITH A CLOTHESLINE...J1D DUCKS!!! OLVIR CRASHES INTO BORN AGAIN...THEY ARE TOPPLING OVER THE TOP ROPE...J1D PUSHING...TRYING TO GET THEM BOTH OVER...Both Olvir And Born again land on the apron...Olvir and Born Again both punching away on J1D and he is staggered back from the blows...Now OLVIR WITH A BIG BOOT TO BORN AGAIN...BORN AGAIN SENT SAILING TO THE FLOOR AND HE'S ELIMINATED!!!

WATERS: It's so unfair! I never catch a break!

MAYES: J1D quickly back on Olvir not letting him get back into the ring...Olvir rocks him with a series of right hands...Olvir now hooks J1D, he's going to Suplex him out of the ring! J1D LIFTED UP...HE'S FIGHTING...HE GRABS OLVIR AND FALLS BACK INTO THE RING DROPPING OLVIR THROAT FIRST ON THE TOP ROPE! OLVIR TRYING TO STAY ON THE APRON!!! J1D OFF THE ROPES...FLYING DROPKICK!!! OLVIR STILL REELING!!!

WATERS: Get him down!!! GET HIM DOWN!!!

MAYES: J1D GOING UP TOP...THIS IS INSANE...HE LEAPS AT OLVIR FOR A HURRICANRANA OLVIR CAUGHT HIM...OLVIR GOING TO POWERBOMB J1D TO THE FLOOR!! NO! J1D GOT THE HURRICANRANA FLIPPING OVLIR TO THE FLOOR!! J1D LANDS ON THE APRON!! HE'S WON IT!!!

(Crowd buzzing, a mixed reaction that fan favorite Olvir has just been beaten but the J1D supports can also be heard...MUSIC UP: "Down" by 311)

HARWELL: THE WINNER OF THE LVW HIGH STAKES BATTLE ROYAL...AND NEW LVW CHAMPION...JAYYYYYYYYY ONE....DEEEEEEEEE!!!!

(J1D hops off the apron and walks over the table where The Floor is sitting with the LVW Title on it...The Floor shakes J1D's hand and then the two of them pose for a couple photos with the LVW Title Belt before The Floor hands it to J1D who returns to the ring, climbing up on the second rope, holding the belt high!)

MAYES: J1D...THE NEW LVW CHAMPION! This crowd is still beside itself!

(A mild pyro burst goes off near the entranceway, getting more of a pop from the crowd.)

WATERS: I ain't a fan of him, but at least it wasn't Olvir...Good on you J1D...

MAYES: J1D is the champ, who knows what's gonna happen next?! Tune in next week fans!!!

(J1D hops the railing and starts being mobbed by LVW fans...A loud "J1D!" breaks out. J1D and a ton of fans mug for the camera as the camera FADES TO BLACK)