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Magnus Destructo v. 'Normal' John Johnson

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LQJT86C

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Post all RP here. Deadline is Friday, January 8th at 11:55 PM EASTERN TIME. Standard 48 hour stack rules apply.
 

RStrawsma

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I will eat your face!!!

(We fade in on a stooge in what appears to be a pantsuit, greeting the fans watching at home with a smile that makes you want to kick him in the face for being that goddamn ugly. He's got a mic. By TV logic, that makes him a reporter.)

The Media Baron
Good evening, wrestling fans! Please allow me to formally introduce myself in you all -- I am the Media Baron!

(What sort of ass-hat calls himself "the Media Baron?")

The Media Baron
I'll be Next Level Wrestling's premier field reporter, and my duty is to bring you -- the FANS -- all the latest reports, updates, and interviews from beyond the NLW locker room.

For tonight, I have a special one-on-one with one of the most talked about names set to appear before the world at Friday Night Vulgar. To bring you this interview, I had travel all the way to the Carpathian Mountains...

(Right, dude. NLW just footed the bill to fly you halfway across the planet to an obscure Slovakian mountain range. In any case, his expression turns genuinely grim.)

The Media Baron
And the experience was, to say the very least, disturbing on many levels...

I should warn you, the fans... what you are about to witness may be a bit too extreme or intense for some viewers. If you are of the feint of heart or weak of stomach, I suggest not watching.

But, if you're courageous enough to handle it, then allow me to introduce to you... a personal interview with...

MAGNUS DESTRUCTO

(Abrupt cut to black.)

(CUE UP: Bach's masterpiece, "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor", blaring through the pipes of a cathedral organ. We fade in within the black stone walls of a hellish castle. Outside, we can hear the crash of thunder and the howl of a wolf.)

(Soft orange firelight pulsates from the depths of a darkened passageway. After a moment, the source of the fire enters the frame... revealed to be a flaming torch carried by a filth-covered wretch of a man. Clipping right at his heels is the Media Baron, eyeing the unsettling inner decorum with disgust. The uncouth, rat-like man, who earlier introduced himself as a "Dulak the Defiler", chortles with an odd sort of amusement as he his torch leads the way to the inner sanctum of this gothic house of horrors.)

Dulak the Defiler
We are so very pleased to have you come all this way to the Master's Keep of Eternal Darkness, Mister Baron...

The Media Baron
Ah, that's not a problem, uh... Dulak, was it?

(The servant grumbles an apparent affirmative.)

The Media Baron
Uh, anyway... is it really called the Keep of Eternal Darkness? I thought that was just a name given to this place by all those creepy locals in that village at the base of the hill...

Dulak the Defiler
The Master insisted on the name, on the basis that it would instill fear in the hearts of all who knew its horrific legacy...

(They enter a spacious throne room furnished in elaborately graphic and unsettling furnishings, many featuring a variety of spiked protrusions. Everything seems to be made out of black solid iron, ranging from simple cage couches to torture racks -- or something that could be both in one. Taking the focus of the room on a raised platform is a black metal throne bearing a large and detailed backrest with a horned-skull motif.)

The Media Baron
Lord above! This, uh... this is quite a place you've got here. I take it "the Master" has the upmost authority on the interior design?

Dulak the Defiler
That is correct. The Master takes great delight in watching the suffering of his guests.

(The uncouth torch-bearer continues toward a passageway leading into another wing of the castle.)

Dulak the Defiler
Please wait here. I will inform the Master that you have arrived... and he will deal with you shortly. I suggest not touching anything.

The Media Baron
Uh, alrighty...

(The creep wanders off, leaving the meager reporter alone in the throne room of horrible contraptions. He continues to eye the various disturbing sights that surround him... when suddenly, the whole room seems overcome with a far off rumbling. Without warning, a gust of wind extinguishes the torchlight lighting the room, and the reporter is left in complete black.)

(CUE UP: "Conquer All" by Behemoth. Red light emanating from a grill in the floor reveals the visage that is Dominatra Bozoth, her black-painted lips rolling back into a sneer as she raises a microphone shaped like a screaming skull.)

Dominatra Bozoth
Cringe in terror, maggots!! The DARK LORD of DESTRUCTION will soon be upon you!!

(His face just barely visible in the red light, the Media Baron stands in complete shock and horror. Meanwhile, a spotlight hits a huge set of red studded steel doors near the screeching siren.)

Dominatra Bozoth
Cower now in his unforgiving presence... for HERE NOW comes the Dreaded Devourer... the Baron of Brutality...

(The doors come SWINGING open, revealing the black shape of a GROTESQUE MONSTER standing before a wall of fire!)

Dominatra Bozoth
MAGNUS DESTRUCTO!!

(With a blood-thirsty ROAR, the monster steps forward to reveal himself to be a mammoth of a man.)

Magnus Destructo
[Size=big]RRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!![/size]

(He looks like a warlord that just walked straight out of hell... with a definite Mad Max thing going on with his black, spiky costume and leather cape. As he trudges into the throne room like a predator stalking its prey, his raging eyes find the first vulnerable thing in his immediate vicinity -- the dumb-struck Media Baron -- and presumes to LOOM over the meager reporter and scream at the very top of his lungs.)

Magnus Destructo
PATHETIC MORTAL!! STATE YOUR WORTHLESS NAME AND PURPOSE!!

The Media Baron
M-mother of Mercy!

F-forgive my intrusion, Mister, uh, Destructo, but... I'm the Media Baron, sent by way of Next Level Wrestling for an exclusive interview. Uh, it was my understanding that you were expecting me...

Magnus Destructo
WHAT?!

(Dulak wanders back into the frame.)

Dulak the Defiler
I, uh... forwarded the update to your Facebook account, Master.

(In response to this out-of-turn word, Destructo abruptly pivots around and BLASTS him with his spiked gauntlet, sending the frail manservant flying from the frame. As if nothing ever happened, he turns back to the reporter.)

Magnus Destructo
OF COURSE I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHY YOU HAVE COME!! YOU ARE HERE BECAUSE I ALLOW YOU TO BE HERE!!

The Media Baron
Well then, uh... should I call you Magnus?

Magnus Destructo
YOU WILL CALL ME DESTRUCTO!! MAGNUS IS MERELY THE TITLE OF POWER I CARRY HERE IN THE CARPATHIAN MOUNTAINS!!

The Media Baron
Ah, I see... I think. Well then, Destructo... would it be too much trouble to answer a few questions for the people at home?

(Without any regard for the reporter's well-being, Destructo RIPS the mic from his hand, and continues barking very loudly into the smaller man's face.)

Magnus Destructo
WRONG, WEAKLING!! I ANSWER TO NOBODY BUT MYSELF!! YOU WILL STAND THERE AND LISTEN TO THE BLACK PROPHECY SPOKEN FROM MY VOICE, AND THE WORLD WILL TREMBLE IN FEAR WHEN THEY SEE MY FACE!!

The Media Baron
...is it really necessary to be shouting all the time?

Magnus Destructo
SILENCE!! I TOLD YOU THAT I ANSWER TO NOBODY!! INSTEAD, YOU ANSWER TO ME!!

WHO IS THE FOOL THAT NEXT LEVEL WRESTLING HAS OFFERED UPON MY BLACK ALTAR FOR THE FIRST SACRIFICE AT FRIDAY NIGHT VULGAR?!

The Media Baron
Well... you're slated to meet "Normal" John Johnson... about the most average man you can find in the sport of professional wrestling.

Magnus Destructo
"NORMAL?!" HAH!!

LET ME GUESS... AVERAGE HEIGHT, AVERAGE WEIGHT... LIVES IN A SMALL TOWN WITH A WIFE AND KIDS...

The Media Baron
That's right.

Magnus Destructo
HAH!! WHAT A WIMP!!

I'LL FILL YOU IN ON A SECRET, PEON... NORMALCY IS WEAKNESS!! WHEN I COME TO FRIDAY NIGHT VULGAR, I WILL EAT JOHN JOHNSON'S FACE!!! WE'LL SEE THEN HOW FAR BEING "NORMAL" GETS YOU IN YOUR SHORT AND WORTHLESS LIFE!!

AS YOU CAN NO DOUBT SEE, I SHUN THE NORMAL LIFESTYLE... AND VERY MUCH EMBRACE EVERYTHING ABNORMAL ON THIS DARK PLANET!! ABNORMAL IS STRONGER THAN NORMAL, BECAUSE IT CANNOT BE PREDICTED OR UNDERSTOOD!!

AND NEITHER CAN I!!

The Media Baron
Frankly, I'm having quite a bit of trouble understanding you myself...

Magnus Destructo
BRAINLESS IDIOT!! YOU CALL YOURSELF THE BARON OF MEDIA?! I AM THE BARON OF BRUTALITY!! COME THE BLACK NIGHT OF FRIDAY, YOU WILL SEE JUST HOW BRUTAL I CAN BE WHEN I FLAY THE WEAKLING THAT IS JOHN JOHNSON FROM HEAD TO TOE!!

NOW RUN BACK HOME, WORTHLESS SLIME... AND BE GRACIOUS THAT I HAVE ALLOWED YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEAVE HERE ALIVE!!

The Media Baron
Oh, believe me, I'm QUITE gracious! Uh... which way to the exit?

Magnus Destructo
GOLLOMACH!!

(A corpulent man stuffed under a long black leather duster and bearing a deathmask suddenly appears behind the Media Baron, startling the reporter into yelping.)

Magnus Destructo
ESCORT THIS PATHETIC WASTE OF LIFE OUT OF THE KEEP!!

Gollomach
Yes, Master...

(The Media Baron stiffens up as the muscle of the malevolent warlord lifts him off the ground and carries him out of the throne room. Cackling sadistically, Magnus Destructo takes his seat upon his throne as Dominatra joins his side, handing him a wine goblet shaped like a human skull.)

(We slowly fade back to the grim expression of the Media Baron.)

The Media Baron
Upon leaving the Magnus' infernal keep, I promptly returned here to the states to share my story. And as promised, the Baron of Brutality will be LIVE at the Hammerstein Ballroom for NLW's inaugural show, Friday Night Vulgar! Be sure to tune it to see if "Normal" John Johnson can stand up to this absolute MONSTER of a man in the ring!

To be quite frank... I think he's got his work cut out for him.

Be sure to stay tuned for more updates!

(Cut to the NLW logo and theme.)
 

fugginVOSS

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(CUT-TO: STRAWBERRY B!TCH stands before the camera with a grin on her face. But you'd never know. You're too busy staring at her 84HH bosoms that seem to take up the bottom two thirds of the screen. Her hands are behind her back, pressing those jumbolayas forward all the more. The sheer veracity of her slap in the face to the laws of physics and gravity leave Newton, Einstein and da Vinci scratching their heads in confusion in their graves.)

StrB!TCH: "Hey there..." [valley girl giggle] "...I'm Strawberry B!tch here for Next Level Wrestling and it's like totally super to be here. You might have seen my collegg... collage... umm... workmate, the Media Baron, interviewing that like... TOTALLY nasty piece of work Destructo earlier and I've come over for a rebuttal..." [she stares blankly at the camera] "...is a rebuttal where you're doing it doggy and he pulls to far back and plugs you right in the as-OH MY! I SOOOooo totally forgot we were on the air... [valley girl giggle]... but here for his rebuttal is Mr. "Normal" John Johnson."

(CUT-TO: the screen being filled by the image of "NORMAL" JOHN JOHNSON standing to the right of Strawberry. His eyes are wide as he stares ahead at the camera. He looks slightly startled by the whole process. Strawberry turns to Johnson.)

StrB!TCH: "Hey there, John. It's nice to see you."

NJJ: "Hey to you, too, Straw-"[turns to look at here, immediately taken by the massive mammaries] "SWEET BABY JESUS SUCKLING THE MOTHER'S MILK FROM THE GOLDEN TEAT! I mean... er... wow. I lost my train of thought. Sorry. Where am I?"

StrB!TCH: "It's okay. I get it all the time."

NJJ: [muttering under his breath] "I'm sure you do." [clears throat] "I mean... get what? I dunno what you're talking about."

StrB!TCH: "You were staring at my chest."

NJJ: "At your chest?" [laughing nervously] "Why would I do that? I wasn't staring at your chest. No. Nuh-uh. No way." [turns to the camera, tugging his collar lose with one finger] "I SO wasn't staring at her chest. Jane. You gotta believe me, honey. I wasn't. I just... um... lost my train of thought by the thought of how nice Christmas was. You know... celebrating the birth of sweet baby Jesus suckling.... at... the golden... teat... of the virgin... mar... ry... fuck."

(John drops his head in shame, Strawberry rubs his back very seductively, not realising she's doing it. Instantly, John stands up straight, eyes wider than before. Immediately, his hands spring across his crotch, as if he were covering something.)

NJJ: "Please... please don't do that. I'll be in enough trouble for staring at your chest. Wait..." [eyes spring to the camera] "No! I WASN'T! Jane! Honey! Darling! I wasn't! I wasn't staring at her chest!"

StrB!TCH: "Ooooo-kay. I think you're a little nervous."

NJJ: "I am nervous, Strawberry. VERY nervous. I wee'd like three times before we did this. Maybe four."

StrB!TCH: "Uh, John?"

(Raises his eyebrows answering her silently. She nods to the camera.)


StrB!TCH: "The world doesn't need to hear about your potty breaks."

NJJ: "Dammit. Sorry. Sorry world."

StrB!TCH: "What they WANT to hear about is your thoughts on Magnus Destructo."

NJJ: "My thoughts? Um... gee, I really don't have any Strawberry. I mean... the guy is six feet friggin' seven and near on two-ninety. I'm a fart in the breeze compared to this guy. It's like David and Goliath or something else just as Biblically epic of short versus tall. I dunno. Basketball versus marbles."

StrB!TCH: "Basketball... versus... marbles?"

NJJ: "I dunno, Strawberry. I'm not good at this. Truth is... I've never been on television before."

StrB!TCH: "Okay. You've never cut a video promo before?"

(He shakes his head.)


StrB!TCH: "In-ring?"

(Shakes again.)

StrB!TCH: "Really?"

NJJ: "Really."

StrB!TCH: "Oh."

NJJ: "See... I just don't get it."

StrB!TCH: "Get what?"

NJJ: "The whole name calling thing. Threatening violence thing. It's just not... well... I dunno. It's not really... well... me. I don't want my kids to think that's okay."

StrB!TCH: "John... this guy could potentially murder you."

NJJ: "I'm sure he's taken a bigger crap than me, Strawberry, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna stand here and make him madder. Shake the red cloth in front of the God damn bull. Like I said... six and a half feet tall and a couple bucks short of three hundred. This man is a monster. Destructo by name and Destructo by nature. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna roll under the bottom rope and cower behind the fans in the front row."

(John shakes his head.)

NJJ: "See... the bigger they are the harder they fall. Cliché much? Yes please. I'll take two, thank-you. Big. Slow. Bumbling. Those are the words that come up when I think of someone so big. Sure, if he hits me my head might come clean off my body.

"If.

"Guys like that are big and strong and when they strike their impact lasts. And believe me... when you step in the ring with Jay Terror you understand what a stinger really is. But the trick is this... he can't catch me. As long as I keep on my feet. Keep moving. Keep thinking. Thinking is the key. Takes his brain a heck of a lot longer to send a message to his hand than it does to mine. My reflexes are super fast. I'm like a cat.

"I'm hoping this cat right here..." [shoves his own thumb into his chest] "...has nine lives. Yes, you're big. Yes, you might very well chew my face off or something. Maybe chew my fuggin jugular or somethin' while you're at it. Who knows. At the end of the day there's something of mine you can never take. That's my heart. It beats harder than your d!ck throbs everytime you see a splattered racoon on the highway roadside, Magnus. You can roar. You can pound your chest. You can sit up in your tree and throw faeces at me, you big... er... big... babboon! YEAH! TAKE THAT!"

StrB!TCH: "That was lame."

NJJ: "I know. But the message counts. I'll bring you everything I have, Magnus Destructo. Every little piece of me coming at you as strong and wild as it can. I'll bring every little bit of me to beat every little bit of you and just so you know... I won't be going light on you, either."

(With that, the Buzz of Buzzard's Bay turns and exits stage left, leaving the heaving bosoms on your screen for your delight.)

(At least, that is, until we...)

(FadeToBlack.)
 

fugginVOSS

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(CUT-TO: "NORMAL" JOHN JOHNSON in the gym, bouncing off the ropes in a ring as someone watches from outside. The man is in his early thirties, hands on hips and watching Johnson bound from one side to the other.)

Man: "You wanna beat this monster then you're gonna have to think like a monster."

(Johnson stops, staring down from the ring at the man on the outside advising him.)

NJJ: "Think like a monster? Isn't that... y'know... a little cliché there, Paddy."

PADDY: "I s'pose. I'm not very good at the pep talk stuff, Johnny. I had to say something. Y'know, with the cameras and all."

(The man, Paddy (as in Patrick Marshall of Marshall & the Mammoth fame. Fomerly Captain Obvious), thumbs over his shoulder at the camera and gives a shrug.)

PADDY: "We want this Destructo feller to take us seriously, right?"

NJJ: "I guess. But I don't think words are gonna do a damn thing. I'm gonna need a Christmas miracle or something going up against this friggin' beast, Paddy. What am I gonna do?"

PADDY: "Exactly what you said you're gonna do. Stay light on your feet. Keep moving. The minute this guy gets his hands on you he slows you down or worse."

NJJ: "It's the worse that worries me. [John runs a hand through his hair and sighs] What are NLW up to anyways? Putting someone my size in the ring with something... some big... friggin'... I dunno. Big, damn rhino of a man that could literaly tear me limb-from-limb. What's their plan, Paddy?"

PADDY: "Johnny, the whole damn roster are poster childs as to why they shouldn't 'roid up the KFC chickens. I tells ya, Johnny, you gotta keep focused, keep moving and keep hitting him. If I were you... I'd be blind siding him and I wouldn't dare fly. One false move and it's... [Paddy runs his thumb across his throat] ...it's curtains for you, Johnny Boy. You wanna leave Vulgar on your own two feet, instead of on a guerney, or in a G0ddamn body bag, then you'll do just that. Keep moving."

NJJ: "Right." [John sighs again] "Just keep moving."

(Johns looks at the ropes and then back at Paddy.)

NJJ: "He can't catch me he can't hurt me. Sounds like a good plan. I like that plan. The less of the hurting the better. MUCH better."

PADDY: "Aye." [nodding] "Much, MUCH better. You can do this, Johnny."

NJJ: "You think?"

PADDY: "Think? I know."

(A small smile wears across John's face and he hits the ropes, rebounding and bounding across time and time again. Paddy shies away from the ring and sighs.)

PADDY: "At least... I hope."

(He takes a fleeting glance at Johnson in the ring.)

PADDY: "God... I hope."

(FadeToBlack.)
 

RStrawsma

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I will rip your heart out!!!

(CUE UP: Sinister organ music as the camera slowly zooms on an exterior shot of the Magnus Destructo's Keep of Eternal Darkness, a black-stoned citadel nestled deep within the craggy peaks of the Carpathian Mountains. From within, we can hear a blood-curdling scream cry out...)

(Fade to inside as Dulak the Defiler as he enters the Dreaded Devourer's elaborately macabre throne room, bearing a haunch of boar leg so massive that it requires both of his hands to carry it. The meat looks red and gristly, and the hoof remains at the end. As Dulak approaches the black steel throne upon which MAGNUS DESTRUCTO sits, the Baron of Brutality bears a sadistic smirk as he watches some form of torture happening off camera.)

Dulk the Defiler
Your boar leg, Master...

(Perhaps irritated by the interruption, the skull-crushing right hand of Destructo lashes out and rips the leg out of Dulak's hands, causing the servant to make a painful tumble to the floor.)

Magnus Destructo
IT'S ABOUT TIME, WORM!!

(Taking the first bite of his leg, the towering form of the Magnus rises off the throne and approaches the center of his throne room. There, his trusted right arm Gollomach turns the wheel of an ancient black steel torture rack a few more degrees, causing the emaciated anonymous man strapped in to cry out in pain again.)

Rack Sufferer
AAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!

Oh God, why are you people DOING THIS?!

Magnus Destructo
HAH HAH!! THE FOOL STILL PRAYS TO HIS WEEK GOD...

(CHOMP! Sneering as blood and gristle leak from the corner of his mouth, Destructo nods to Gollomach, who gives the wheel another crank.)

Rack Sufferer
AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Why... what have I done to deserve this?!

(Without warning or provocation, Destructo SMACKS the poor soul across the face with his half eaten boar leg.)

Magnus Destructo
SNIVELLING BATH TURD!! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU'VE DONE THAT BRINGS YOU HERE TO A PAINFUL DOOM... BUT WHAT YOU HAVEN'T DONE!!

Rack Sufferer
Please... please, I'm BEGGING you, let me GO!!

(SMACK!! The victim receives another blow from the boar leg, briefly knocking him senseless as the towering mammoth barks more obscenities into his ear.)

Magnus Destructo
SILENCE!! YOU WILL NOT LEAVE HERE UNTIL I HAVE WHAT I WANT...

Rack Sufferer
W... what is it that you want... from ME??

Magnus Destructo
FROM YOU?! PAH!! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE BUT YOUR MEAGER SCREAMS OF TERROR AND PAIN!!

(Taking another blood-thirsty mouthful out of his boar leg, Magnus Destructo walks around to the other end of the torture rack and turns his attention directly to the camera, greeting the viewer with a sadistic smile that causes the spine to go cold.)

Magnus Destructo
WHAT I REALLY WANT IS THE EVER-ENJOYABLE SCENT OF FEAR IN THE VICTIM THAT AWAITS ME...

AND THAT IS YOU, JOHN JOHNSON... THE "NORMAL" MAN!!

YOU HAVE SEES ME FOR WHAT I AM... AND YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS I WILL DO TO YOU IN THAT RING... AND ALL YOU CAN POSSIBLY HOPE FOR IS DIVINE INTERVENTION TO STEP IN AND GRANT SALVATION TO YOUR WORTHLESS HIDE!!

IT'S TOO BAD FOR YOU THAT GOD IS DEAD!! I KILLED HIM MYSELF!! I RIPPED HIS HEAD OFF WITH MY BARE HANDS AND DROPKICKED IT HALFWAY ACROSS THE UNIVERSE!! THAT'S HOW FREAKING BRUTAL I AM!!

EVEN SO... YOU CLING TO THE FALSE PREMISE OF HOPE LIKE A PIGLET HIDING BENEATH THE FAT AND USELESS SOW AT THE TIME OF SLAUGHTER!!

SO HERE I HAVE BROUGHT THIS COMPLETELY INNOCENT AND UNASSUMING MAN TO MY LAIR, IN ORDER TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW RELENTLESS, SADISTIC, AND MERCILESS I AM!! I WANT TO SMELL THE UNIMAGINABLE TERROR THAT OVERTAKES YOU PATHETIC FORM!!

(As if trying to savor the sensation, the Magnus shuts his eyes and takes in a DEEP breath through his nostrils... only to RETCH unexpectedly.)

Magnus Destructo
BY BLACK CHERNOBOG'S HAIRY BUTTHOLE, WHAT IS THAT FOUL ODOR?!

DULAK!!!

(Into the frame pops the meager Dulak...)

Dulak the Defiler
A thousand pardons, exalted Master... but you insist that I only bathe in the innards and viscera of your dismembered victims. You claimed water wasn't "brutal" enough.

(Quite angrily, Destructo turns and chucks the boar leg as hard as he can, catching Dulak square in the face and sending the walking punching bag sprawling to the floor.)

Magnus Destructo
FOOL!! YOUR BLOCKING OUT THE SCENT OF FEAR!! TAKE YOUR WORTHLESS HIDE TO THE MOAT AND WASH YOURSELF!!

AND I HOPE THE SHARKS EAT YOU!!

(Huffing and puffing still, Destructo turns back to the camera.)

Magnus Destructo
WELL... NO MATTER. JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T SMELL YOUR FEAR DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T SEE IT IN YOUR EYES, JOHN JOHNSON!!

YOU HAVE NO INTENTIONS OF FIGHTING ME HEAD ON!! YOU SIMPLY WANT TO "KEEP AWAY"... HOPING THAT YOUR FRAIL JACK-RABBIT LEGS WILL BE STRONG ENOUGH TO ESCAPE THE REACH OF THE HUNGRY AND CUNNING BLACK WOLF!!

RUN AND HIDE IF YOU MUST, JOHNSON... BECAUSE I TAKE MUCH PLEASURE IN THE CHASE!! YOUR FEAR... YOUR ANXIETY... I THRIVE ON SUCH THINGS!! THEY PUSH ME TO HURT YOU EVEN FURTHER!!

(The sadistic smile reappears on his face.)

Magnus Destructo
AH... SIMPLY THINKING ABOUT THE HORRIFIC THINGS I HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU MAKES MY SIGHT TURN RED!! YOUR HOPES... YOUR ASPIRATIONS... YOUR CAREER... YOUR LIVE... ALL OF THESE AND SO MUCH MORE WILL BE TAKEN FROM YOU, SIMPLY BECAUSE I HAVE THE POWER TO TAKE IT!!

EVEN THAT WHICH YOU CLAIM I COULD NEVER TAKE FROM YOU!!

(He turns his attention back to the torture rack where the whimpering victim still hangs stretched to painful limits. Destructo sizes him up, and... BURIES HIS FIST into his chest cavity!)

Rack Sufferer
AAURRRGGHHHH...!!!

(When the Baron of Brutality pulls out his blood-soaked hand, the man's still beating heart is clutched in his homicidal fingers. As the pain leaves him, the victim looks at his organ quite peculiarly.)

Rack Sufferer
Oh wow... I didn't think it actually DID that.

Magnus Destructo
...WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!

Rack Suffer
Oh, my bad.

GAK--!!

(The man's eyes glaze over and his head rolls over to the side. As Gollomach carts the torture rack out of the throne room, the sinister grin reappears on Destructo's face as he turns back to the camera.)

Magnus Destructo
IT WOULD BE INTERESTING TO SEE IF YOUR HEART BEATS AS STRONG AS YOU CLAIM IT DOES, JOHNSON!! AT FRIDAY NIGHT VULGAR, I WILL RIP YOUR HEART OUT... AND WE'LL PUT YOUR CLAIM TO THE TEST!!

UNTIL THEN... SLEEP TIGHT, PEON!! ENJOY YOUR LAST DAYS WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!

(Magnus Destructo turns and throws the beating heart like a baseball, perfectly timed with Dulak the Defiler coming back to his feet and wiping a layer of pig fat from his face. The heart catches him square in the forehead and he is sent sprawling yet again. Cackling with sadistic glee, Magnus Destructo disappears through a set of double doors into a wall of fire. The doors slam shut behind him, leaving the footage to fade to black.)
 
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