MAIN EVENT: Tag Team Turmoil - Hart/Druid v Entertainment/First (c)

[TheOriginalSE]

All RP for the main event tag match between PRO WRESTLING's SJH/THE DRUID and MR. ENTERTAINMENT/THE FIRST (c) at Cyberstrike should be done in this thread. Any RP posted outside of the thread will not count.

The RP deadline is 11:59pm PST on TUESDAY, March 8th, 2011. Angles should be sent to neweraofwrestling@gmail.com ..

 

[TheOriginalSE]

Dear Diary...

* Shawn Hart RP for C05.

---

FADE IN:

Still sporting bandages all over his body (none of which were near the injuries he actually sustained), SJH is propped up in his faux hospital bed with a pen in one hand and what are undoubtedly his memoirs in progress in the other. As the Prime Minister of Gettin' Sinister writes, the former champion's own voice narrates his words as they're put to paper.

SJH (V/O): "Dear diary...

I'm not exactly sure how long it's been since that fateful night..."

Shawn grimaces and reaches for his knee before continuing on.

SJH (V/O): "The herpes was bad. Carnivale nearly killed me. Season three of Veronica Mars has quite possibly scarred my precious soul, but NONE OF IT-"

Yes, he actually wrote in ALL CAPS, as demonstrated by his wide pen-strokes, surly expression, and the growing wells of hate-slobber forming in the corners of his mouth.

SJH (V/O): ..so much as holds a CANDLE to the complete and utter atrocities that have beset me in New Era Wrestling! Between Chaos and the First, I've fractured my coccyx, suffered a torn right wenus, and jammed up my epoöphoron!!"

He pauses, then gazes upward pensively.

SJH (V/O): "Wait -- do I have one of those?"

Think, think, think...

SJH (V/O): "At any rate, to say I'm disappointed at what's transpired is a monumental understatement. Sure, I'm chillin' here in my fake room with my German porn star nurse-"

CUT TO: A nurse in a low-cut uni that may or may not be Luissa Rosso. CUT TO: SJH.

SJH (V/O): "..but the steak n' eggs of the situation is that I've been dealt deuce-seven off on a flop full'a face cards. And try as I might, ain't no bluffin' the fact that in a matter of days, I've gone from perhaps the longest running champion in New Era HISTORY, filled from top to bottom with MAGNUM force to a l'il, shriveled up Durex lying soiled on the shag-carpet flooring of an economy motel."

He shakes his head, as if in disbelief.

SJH: (V/O)"Call it a mockery, call it an OUTRAGE, my Magic 8-ball says it's the truth... and ever since the entire sordid affair went down, the JACKHOLES responsible have been crooning to the moon about the fact that it was they who pulled it off."

The Prime Minister of Gettin' Sinister pauses and grits his teeth.

SJH: "Assh(FCC)les."

He shakes his head once more, then resumes his writing.

SJH (V/O): "But ya know what? That's A-OK by me, 'cuz I'm gonna be out of here before they know it, and when I am... the BOTH of them are gonna know what it means to be ridden hard and put up wet - STARTING with that FAKE FRIEND the First! Call it a mockery, call it a..."

He scratches his head, as if having come to some sudden realization.

SJH (V/O): "Shoot. Already did that one."

Out of nowhere, the rage finds the Phenom.

SJH: "Ya know what? F(FCC)CK it!!"

He tosses his journal at his porn nurse's feet, hucks the pen the opposite direction, and flings himself out of bed. Seconds later, he rips a series of bandages off of his face, finds the hard camera and pulls it in against his mug.

SJH: "You know what, First? You really messed up. We could'a been great, you and me. We've had our fair share of crazy encounters already, and were WELL on our way to forging an alliance so epic, it puts the Voltron cats to shame, but instead you pissed it all away by cashing in on some BS technicality. So I tell you what -- even though I actually have a modicum of respect for Mr. Entertainment, he can kiss my ass and call it candy, because from this point on, I'm gonna do WHATEVER it takes to make things right by ME! And if a couple Mr. E's or even a ROZY happen to catch some of the shrapnel, that's too bad for them! Because that's what happens when you use a land mine of SUCK as your stepping stone!"

SJH nods in self-agreement.

SJH: "At Cyberstrike, it's yours truly and THE DRUID, set like a jet to work our own, personal brand of alchemy on your pretty patoots. I won't speak for my partner, but injured or not, you can bet your bottom dollar that THIS wizard is gonna bring the BLACK MAGIC, and I'm not talkin' about Norman Smiley!"

SJH chuckles at his insider joke, despite the fact that maybe three people would know what he's referring to.

SJH: "A few weeks ago, I was the New Era Champion.

A few weeks from now, I WILL... BE.... AGAIN!!!

And once I am, CHAOS, your ass is next!

The PHENOM has left the building!"

FADE OUT.

 

[TheOriginalSE]

It's the end of the world

* The First RP for C05.

---

(FADEIN: The First sitting on a bench near the Bewitched statue in downtown Salem, his face painted white with black diamonds covering his eyes. He has on a black hoodie and jeans, the New ERA Championship belt rests on his shoulder. Muse is seen walking down the sidewalk, wearing a sandwich board, the board on her back reads “The end times are nigh!”)

FIRST: Life is boring, you’re born, you stumble around, most likely find someone to make some children of your own, then you die…Then your kids get to do that…It’s what happens, I’ve lived it countless times, sometimes the story changes a little, maybe you don’t have the kids, but the plot for the most point, doesn’t change…

So we need to spice things up, add a little excitement to our banal and dull lives, we need to believe something important, something special is happening…So we invent religions…Now we’re avatars of Gods, now we’re following rules for a gift, for eternal life, for glory, maybe we kill other people who don’t worship our god the way they should…Now we’re fighting in our God’s name and when we win, it proves our God is bigger than your God, take that loser!

If religion isn’t your bag, then we can get into conspiracies…JFK, MLK, RFK, 9/11, fluoride in our water, gold, the fed, the Illuminati…Now you’re fighting THEM, some shadowy cabal who’s out to hide THE TRUTH from us, but you…You know better, you see through things…You know that powerful forces are what control this world, you are on to them, and now you’re the hero in the movie of your life, but instead of just fixing that copier or getting up the guts to ask that temp out on a date, you’re revealing the dark agenda of the Trilateral commission and how it’s undermining America’s freedoms!

Then of course is the mixing of those two…Of the Doomsday cult…Of the coming of the end of the World…Oh how exciting that is, you stand on the brink of world destruction! This whole planet shall be torn asunder, life as we know it will end, and those few who survive will have done so only with forbidden knowledge from dark places…

This idea is so radical…So new, that The Druid brings it to us and tells us it is the truth…Ignore the fact that it has been said and resaid countless times before… Armageddon, Apocalypse, Ragnarök, The Rapture, Judgment Day…No, this time, this time it’s real…This time the world really ends…

You know how long people have told this story? About since the time we’ve been here…Solar eclipse? Sun’s burnt out, world’s gonna end. The Black Death? God’s wrath made manifest, world’s going to end. Christianity was a doomsday cult…Do you know what the Messiah was supposed to be? He was supposed to be the man who led the forces of good into battle Vs the forces of evil at the end of days, at the final battle…Then Jesus got stuck to a cross and wasn’t in any shape to lead an army, so well, the Messiah became a redeemer, Heaven became not this earth, won from the forces of evil, but a place to go to as a reward after you die…

In this you come to me and tell me these stories, you speak of Elder Gods…You speak of Doom…While that’s all well and good to get stupid people to give you money, or if you’re going for the Koresh thing, a way to get laid by a lot of ladies…In the end, it never works out…Because the world doesn’t end…

You are the latest of an endless line of hucksters, carnival barkers, and con-men to pitch this lie, be it to scare people or bring them to heel…You wrap yourself in your mystical tomfoolery and preach your damnation…But it is all but meaningless babble…For even if this world did somehow end, it wouldn’t really change anything, we are eternal, we are forever, The Spiral is beyond this world and beyond really our understanding while we are in these bodies…

Even if this world ended, we would not…We are eternal, we are forever…

And so we’ll fight, and after it’s over, you can rant and rave about damnation, and I’ll just go on continuing to exist, as I always will…

Then there is you Shawn, my dear friend, the man who wanted to sell me down the river…The man who was going to take my three wins and flush them down the toilet. Maybe New ERA would have granted me a bye in a tournament to crown a new champion, or maybe they would have tried to find some other pathetic way to placate me. Truth is Shawn, it wouldn’t have mattered.

See I told everyone the truth, that I was obsessed with winning this title, that out of anyone in the locker room, I was the most determined to make it to the top, to be the man in this company. If the fans thought that meant I wouldn’t do something like what happened at Cyberstrike 3…Well they were not paying attention…

Now your supposed debilitating injuries vanish, oh you’ve found that fire to get back in the ring now once I took your belt from you…Oh maybe you’re risking your health and your career out of some misguided notion of revenge…But Shawn, we both know the truth, in our partnerships over the years you might have been the name and the guy that drew the causal fans, but it was always me that did the heavy lifting, it was always me that carried more of the workload…

And here and now, in my moment of glory, when I was going to finally fight you one on one in the main event…You tried to duck out…You knew what was coming and you tried to find the easy way out…You lost your belt last time…We get in the ring together and you’ll lose a lot more then that…
You won’t make it to Battlebrawl 3 if you get in my face Shawn…And you know damn well I have the ability to make it happen. You can’t get this back (points at belt) not at Cyberstrike, not at Battlebrawl, not ever…You’re the past Shawn…And I’m the here and now…

So move along, or pay a fell price…A fell price indeed…

(FADEOUT)

 

[TheOriginalSE]

Tales of Doom 1-4: Truth Revealed, Fate Sealed

* The Druid RP for C05.

---

New ERA of Wrestling Presents...
OOC: Edits coming tomorrow. Been busy all day schilling this to the masses.

TALES of DOOM

Featuring...
The Druid as Himself
and
Sam Baxter as The Reporter

Episode 1-4: Truth Revealed, Fate Sealed

(CUE UP: “Doom-Mantia” by Electric Wizard.)

(We fade into the familiar underworld setting of The Beyond. Around a pit of flame and in the presence of statues bearing the likenesses of bastard gods, the ORDER OF OBLIVION gather in ritual black mass to bestow dark praises upon the Elder Gods. Overlooking the ceremonies from the seat of his DOPETHRONE in the back of the room is THE DRUID. In his hands we can see his favorite skull-bong, which would undoubtedly explain the zoned and stone expression on his goat-like face.)

(Promptly emerging into the scene is New ERA of Wrestling mainstay SAM BAXTER, looking like he just realized he should have turned left at Albequerque.)

Sam Baxter
Thank you for joining me this afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I’m coming to you today from this simply GODLESS place the residents only refer to as “The Beyond.” Actually, the upstairs reminded me more of a head shop, but... I didn’t ask anything about that.

(He casts an insecure glance over his shoulder, not really knowing if the robed acolytes are going to sacrifice him in the name of some unspeakable horror or what.)

Sam Baxter
I can’t honestly say I know what’s going on right this second, but what is certain is that for the past several weeks, the federation has witnessed this unusual behavior brought about by the mysterious re-emergence of The Druid. My hope is to speak with “the Escape Artist” of professional wrestling here today in order to get to the bottom of this man’s motives and intentions... before this whole things gets WAY out of hand.

(Baxter turns and makes an approach to the DOPETHRONE, weaving uncomfortably between the faceless robed cultists that move in ritual patterns of evil worship. The reporter looks completely repulsed by them.)

Sam Baxter
Ah... excuse me... SORRY... sorry, uh... can I get through here? ...heh heh, thank you...

(Muttering several more strings of apologies, Baxter finally gets to the other side of the ring and approaches the Druid in the midst of a sizeable hit. The last TV Champion of New ERA coughs uncontrollably upon recognizing his visitor.)

Sam Baxter
Hi, Erik... it’s been a long time. Care to answer a few questions?

(The Druid regains his compusure and fist-bumps the reporter the way old bro’s do it when they haven’t seen each other in a while.)

The Druid
ESS-BEE, in the HOUSE... on the Borderland. Sup, honky?

Oh yeah... and there’s no more of this “Erik” business. From here on out, it is strictly the Druid.

Sam Baxter
Right, of course... my mistake.

The Druid
What brings you to this dark place of INFERNAL WORSHIP, Samwise? Has that mongoloid CHAOS finally scared you away with his monsterous drivel and blasphemies?

(Baxter rolls his eyes.)

Sam Baxter
You know, Chaos may not be much better company than the one I’m in now... but the former P©X Champion still weighed some heavy accusations on your overall scheme here in New ERA of Wrestling... specifically, your frequent claims that you are working to DESTROY this federation.

The Druid
...and?

Sam Baxter
Erik -- I mean, DRUID... this just begs the question... what’s your beef with New ERA? Why would you want to go as far as to DESTROY the long-standing legacy of New England’s premiere professional wrestling league?

The Druid
Are you serious? New ERA of Wrestling destroyed ITSELF long ago... and it should have stayed that way. But now, it’s an abomination in the eyes of the Elder Gods, living against the embrace of death.

Sam Baxter
What are you TALKING about, Druid? Explain yourself.

The Druid
Before I do that, let me ask YOU a question... to prepare your fragile conciousness for the revelations that await you when I bestow my dark knowledge on your sheltered mind.

Sam Baxter
Okay...

The Druid
Was there ever anyone or any THING in the course of your short life that you loved dearly and didn’t want to part with? Was it ever TAKEN from you, suddenly and without reprieve... never to be part of your life again?

(Baxter’s eyes go distant a moment as he reflects on his life...)

Sam Baxter
When I was eight years old... my dog, Scooter, got hit by a car. Ol’ Scooter survived the accident... but if left him in a lot of pain, and my dad had to take him to the vet to be put to sleep. I never thought I’d get over the heartbreak... and to be honest, I haven’t thought about him in a while. I’m not sure how I’m able to remember it today...

But what do my childhood memories have to do with New ERA anyway?

The Druid
Only to give you an example to relate to. You see, Sam... this federation was MY dog... and like ol’ Scooter, it got hit by a car. It got hit by the UNEXPECTED... the INEVITABLE... the END OF THE ROAD... the CRUSHING REALITY that is OBLIVION. And yet remarkably, it SURVIVED... wounded and limping... tormented and in agony.

And, just like ol’ Scooter, this federation needs to be PUT DOWN. It needs to DIE, and STAY DEAD... because sometimes, dead is BETTER.

Sam Baxter
You can’t honestly believe that, can you? I mean, if anything, you should admire the fact that the management of this federation have so valiantly fought for its longevity, keeping the legacy and tradition going for another generation.

(The Druid chuckles callously.)

The Druid
You pathetic sheep... every day, always FIGHTING to live forever against the fear of the unknown when we die... but it comes to everything, just the same. The only TRUE way to immortality is through DEATH. You think Jimi Hendrix would still be as great as he’s considered to be today if he had lived on for another thirty years, getting old and washed-up and tarnishing his legacy of being a rock and roll BADASS?

The truth is, Sam... New ERA of Wrestling should have DIED with The Druid vs. MR. ENTERTAINMENT.

Sam Baxter
...you mean last week’s main event?

The Druid
No... not last week’s... Last YEAR’S. I’m not talking about Cyberstrike 04... I’m talking about good ol’ Mr. E against Mr. D... FOUR-TWENTY FIVE, Year TWO-KAY-ECKS... in the HEART of Spud Government, the place they call Boise, Idaho... New ERA of Wrestling Television Championship on the line...

It was the perfect ending to a perfect story, Sam. Nobody assumed this insignificant STONER would go as far as he did. Nobody assumed he would go UNDEFEATED. And further still, none assumed he would dominantly secure one of the most prestigious titles in sports history to date. In that final battle at RAUCOUS 37... The Druid carried the scythe of Death, and carved the epitaph of a legacy that would be long remembered.

It could have been the crowning moment of my long and storied career... but as New ERA lay dying, somebody decided to plug in the life-support. What do we have now? A bingo-hall and high-school gym league that can’t even afford a halfway decent PROJECTOR to show off my BADASS Electric Wizard music videos!

Sam Baxter
Okay, so the budget cuts have had an impact... but I mean, look around. You’re still here... I’m still here... so are brand names like “THE PHENOM” SHAWN HART and JONATHAN MARX. You have to admit, the spirit is still alive in New ERA.

The Druid
It won’t be for much longer.

It’s not a matter of whether my motives are justified or not, Sam-wise. The Elder Gods are the ones in charge now. THEY decide who stays and who goes...

Sam Baxter
...how HIGH are you right now, exactly?

The Druid
On a scale of one to a thousand?

Sam Baxter
Let me guess... four hundred and twenty?

The Druid
NO, bitch! SIX-SIX-SIX!!

Sam Baxter
You’ve smoked yourself INSANE, Erik!

The Druid
I told you, Sam... Erik is GONE from New ERA. Only THE DRUID was left behind.

Sam Baxter
I think I’ve had just about enough of this...

Do you have anything to say about your match at Cyberstrike 05 or what?

The Druid
What really needs to be said from here on out?

Sam Baxter
Well... what about the recent comments made by the New ERA of Wrestling Champion... THE FIRST? Did you get a chance to watch his promo this week?

The Druid
...I tried.

Sam Baxter
What do you mean, “You tried”?

The Druid
I mean, I TRIED, Sam... but it was two in the morning, and I was really high, and the first five minutes sounded like a really bad sociology term paper... and all I can say is that I TRIED. But my ears refused to hear the words of the FOOL that thinks he represents this federation...

But what good are words at this point? Everybody’s convinced they’ve got me figured out. They think I’m nothing more than a FRAUD... a MANIPULATOR... and chances are, they’re probably right. And yet, in spite of the blasphemous venom that drips from their sore-scarred mouths, not a single one of them can figure out HOW TO STOP ME!

Take our ol’ buddy CHAOS... he thinks he can stop me? HA! The fool has yet to realize that every time he lashes out in violent rage, he only brings the inevitable DOOM one step closer to realization.

Now our Champion, THE FIRST, and resident clown, MR. ENTERTAINMENT, share the same corner this week in the main event. Two men of equally small and shallow minds... trying to stop the inevitability of OBLIVION by exposing the realities behind it.

(His blazing red eyes find the camera.)

The Druid
Fools...

Critics have been knocking my style for years... but it hasn’t stopped me from being what I am. It hasn’t stopped me from representing this sport how it SHOULD be represented, as opposed to the fucking SIDESHOW you divas have turned it into.

Sure... I’m a COWARD, or a FRAUD, or a CHEAT... Don’t like it? Well that’s too bad, because none of you seem capable of DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I keep going into the ring, busting out motherfuckin’ MIND-BLOWING MOVES, and coming out with the win. I don’t even have to TRY; all it takes is a hit from the bong and let the Elder Gods guide their will through my body as a vessel of doom and woe.

Speaking of...

(The Druid lights up and rips another one, sending a cloud of black haze into Sam Baxter’s face. The reporter retches and recoils from the dopethrone.)

Sam Baxter
That’s it... I’m out of here...

(Sam can be heard coughing as he tries to find his way out of the black and infernal place. The camera zooms out as the Druid fades behind a smokescreen while the Order of Oblivion bob in time to “Doom-Mantia”. Under everything, his evil cackle can be heard...)