MAIN EVENT: Triple Threat Special Guest Referee - MWG v Doe v Republican

[TheOriginalSE]

All RP for the triple threat match between JOHN DOE, MWG, and THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN at RAUCOUS should be done in this folder. Any RP posted outside of the folder will not count.

*World Champion Jonathan Marx acts as special guest referee! Elimination style *****ES!


The RP deadline is 11:59pm on Monday, July 24th. Angles should be sent to secandido@san.rr.com ..

 

[TH]

American flag backdrop, single podium on a solitary stage, empty at first. Moments later, The Phantom Republican, dressed in a three-piece navy blue suit, white shirt and American flag tie, enters from stage right and steps to the podium.

GOP: Now I know how it would have felt for George W. Bush if the 2000 election had been stolen from him like those damn, dirty Democrats had wanted. A sucker-punch to the collective gut of conservative, wholesome, God-fearing America. The only thing that gives me solace is that the Republican party, God's chosen party, is still in power in this great nation. Still, I am filled with a great feeling of dread now that DREDD, the godless, soulless Communists, have stolen my World Championship from me in what was the greatest travesty... robbery... CONSPIRACY that the wrestling world has ever known.

First, I must face the Communists, a well-oiled machine of lies, deceit, treachery and totalitarianism with a partner that I didn't even have the slightest idea of whom he'd be. That would have been fine if my tag partner had turned out to be someone on the right side of the spectrum, like Jason Payne, The Warrior or even Hoyt Williams.

But no, I was paired with Beau Michaels. BEAU MICHAELS! Some flaming homosexual who probably had just gotten back from sodomizing and being sodomized by every queer in a ten mile radius. Queering doesn't make the world work, and it certainly isn't conducive for winning wrestling matches. I was down even before I entered the match.

Still, I battled on valiantly, like our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, I fought the good fight. Like our troops in the Middle East, I had to scrimp and scrape for every advantage I could, only instead of a supportive government behind me, I had someone who was thinking about blowing every male in the arena on my side. Yet I still had the match in hand. I was on my way to an easy victory until I saw the theft of my Championship right before my eyes. I saw the queer tap out. I saw him throw away my title, no doubt part of an elaborate scheme by the left wing elements who run New ERA of Wrestling to snatch the Championship from the righteous hands of the Red State Renegade.

I lost my Championship without losing it. Now, people are going to pay.

The exact question is though, who exactly is going to pay? For starters, the Communists known as Jonathan Marx and John Doe shall pay, and pay dearly. This week, they stand in my way yet again. This time, it's Doe who is directly in my path while Marx will slant the match crookedly as the guest referee. Marx, you get off easy this week. I, like any good Republican, have a healthy respect for authority, even among those who have no business wielding it. You, however, will get your just desserts at BattleBRAWL, when I destroy you and take back what's rightfully mine.

But Doe... you shall pay for your transgressions this week. You shall pay immediately. You shall feel the iron fist of the Republican Party smash down upon you like the bombs raining upon al-Zarqawi before his grisly yet warranted death. Your demise will be similar. I shall punish you with every big gun I have in my arsenal. In fact, I won't even try to pin you until I've hit you with everything I have and than some. Your role in this travesty warrants such a devastating punishment. In fact, if you were some punk nation and I were the United States, I would be breaking out the nuclear reserves on you right now.

I bet you regret riding on Marx's coattails now, huh little boy? Because you decided you wanted to be a sheep like every single other little college kid hanging around campus with their hackey-sack and their weed listening to Phish while spewing their regurgitated garbage about how the President is evil, you will pay the ultimate price.

And as for your, MWG... well, let's just say you're going to get all my vicarious punishment that I would have levied on Beau Michaels for his crime of costing me my World Championship, for giving it away when it wasn't his to give. You two are cut from the same cloth. You're both flamboyantly dressing queers with a propensity for flagrant displays of immorality. Well, when I see your face, MWG, I will superimpose Beau's on top of yours, and you shall reap the whirlwinds sown by your immoral friend.

Because once I rid NEW of Communists, you queers and freaks are next. You're all alike, swimming with STDs, sticking your nose into places where it doesn't belong, demanding equal rights like you're some kind of real person. Well you're not. You're subhuman. You and every single one like you, MWG.

That's why you must be gone from this company in the long term. But in the short term, you're going to be my gay little punching bag.

They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but whoever said that obviously didn't know where the woman's place was. But I say to you, hell hath no fury like a conservative scorned. Because while women have their attitude, we have the nukes, the missles... the MOABs.

Prepare to have all those and more dropped on you, Doe and MWG. It's time for some shock and awe.

Fade.

 

[NotorisSTD]

Retarded politics

(CUEUP: “Destroy Everything you Touch” by Ladytron…)
(CUTTO: An Espresso Royale., somewhere in Boston…Sitting around a hand painted little blue and yellow table, we have last year’s Survivor winner, OLIVIA, in jean shorts, girly sized “Dresden Dolls T-shirt,” black hair back in a ponytail, Massachusetts Governor MITT ROMNEY in a “MWG: FAT POWER” T-shirt, and KRIST BLUE, who’s dressed like a star fu<king hipster like she usually is…The trio sip overpriced but delicious lattés out of glasses and converse, because they are intellectuals in a coffee shop…)

OLIVIA: Look, don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to finally find out my brother isn’t really dead, after all these years of thinking my family had basically abandoned me, and all that jazz, and I’m glad he’s gotten some success and happiness off what he does, but it’s….(sighs)

KRIST: What? Just be blunt. Be so blunt you’re being crass. It’s more shocking that way.

OLIVIA: It’s pro-wrestling, and his little persona within pro-wrestling especially.

MITTSTER: What? Are you some kind of homophobe?

OLIVIA: I just think most wrestling fans are.

MITTSTER: That’s not fair.

KRIST: No, she’s right.

OLIVIA: While we’re on the topic, I think a lot of them are misogynists as well.

KRIST: Lost me.

OLIVIA: Think about it. Most of the female characters in wrestling are these hyper-sexualized mindless bimbos. NEW, to it’s credit, does a little better by having women who are displayed as legitimate athletes-

KRIST: Yeah. The commissioner’s a chick. She’s a wicked inspiration to all of us.

OLIVIA: True. But nine out of ten times, the function of women in wrestling is to follow their men down to the ring, look pretty while he wrestles, and maybe do something catty now and again to keep things interesting.

KRIST: Basically like what I do.

OLIVIA: No Krist, because you’re always keeping things interesting.

KRIST: Aw, thanks. You’re a peach.

OLIVIA: My point is, women in wrestling are usually defined exclusively by their gender and sexuality, and all their actions are derived from those things. They’re like, what feminists don’t like about cheerleaders, times twelve.

MITT: Yeah. A lot of cheerleaders are male. Plus they all do flips and things.

OLIVIA: But Em’s marketed the same way. And so are all the other homosexual wrestlers. What’s pushed to the forefront about him isn’t that he’s a world class athlete, or a multiple time champion, or anything else about who he is as a person. Just that he likes to sleep with other men, and how unbelievably disgusting and freakish that’s supposed to be. You almost never see straight wrestlers make being straight their gimmick…So Em has to dress like a retarded drag queen all the time, and act like he wants to nail every man he sees. And that perpetuates outdated stereotypes and gives fuel for fear-mongering, opportunistic assholes like (points to Mitt) you who give legislative head to the lowest common denominator, hoping they’ll keep feeding your power addiction. You can get on TV, point to my brother and say, “See kids? Gays are all psychotic subhuman perverts after all.”

MITTSTER: What did I do?

OLIVIA: For christsakes Mitt, even with the gay marriage thing aside, you gutted funding for gay youth suicide and violence prevention. You’re selling out the better interests of the state that elected you, to make yourself a more appealing presidential candidate to rednecks, born agains, and sociopath lizards like Ann Coulter and Bill O’Reilly.

KRIST: And the Phantom Republican.

MITTSTER: Who?

(CUTTO: EM…DUBBAYA….GEE….spunky as eva in front of an NEW logo banner, massive pink feather boa draped over his shoulders, no shirt, leather pants, big fake eyelashes, purple lipstick. Hands clutching shoulders like he’s covering up the tits he doesn’t really have, staring just hard enough into the camera to make you a little uncomfortable…)

“the IT boy”
“the surreal”

Do you mean to tell me, Mr. Phantom…that you’ve never wondered what it would be like? Not once, has it ever crossed you mind, even for a teensy little milli-second?

I’m no mind reader. Maybe it never has. Maybe it does…All the time.

And that, my darling, more than anything, is what separates us. I never wonder. I just go find out.

We’re all going to be dead some day, my love. I’d prefer to regret things I’ve done than things I didn’t do.

It is a shame you lost your title. I lost mine too. It would make me very sad, except, well, these things happen, I suppose. But still. So sad. So very sad. Boo Hoo. (chuckles) But we can console each other. Just as friends of course. We can keep our underwear on, and you can feel my chest rise and fall against your back and not feel alone. It’s okay baby. And of course, Beau Michaels is a horrible, heartless, meanie bastard….As much as you hate him, I assure you, I hate him more.

John Doe’s been rather passé for quite a while. I care less than I used to, which wasn't a lot to begin with. And the other Johnny, angry Johnny and I….We have our “history,” but that’s all in the past now. I do hope he’s forgiven me, and that we can still be friends. 'Cuz I'm gonna need him to like, count when I'm pinning some one 'n stuff. Muah.

Because I shan’t fade away. If I was going to do that, I would have already. You can take my title, you can take my memory, you can send me to one of those Christian camps where they try to reprogram all the gay boys and girls by locking them together in rooms for extended periods of time with nothing to do….And I’ll still be back. Because I am utterly insatiable. And really, I have no idea what else to do with myself, but sing it to the tune of Faggot…fffffffffaaaagot…..(high pitched/soprano) FAGGOT!!!

(FTB)

 

[John Doe]

FADEIN….

DREDD backdrop, John Doe in front of it.

DOE:

Such hatred, such anger, such built up emotion. I can’t believe I am stuck in a match were two men are disgusted with my actions. I can’t believe that you two men are flapping your lips about me. It makes me seem like though I am all that more important.

When I started DREDD, well correct, when Jonathan Marx and myself started DREDD we had one goal in mind. That goal was to make Jean Rabesque’s life a living hell. It went from Jean to Chaos, from Chaos to whomever stood in our way of reasoning.

And through it all we have came to a point where we have proven that DREDD is the ultimate leading force in N.E.W. A force that none have separated yet. A force in which we work as a single unit. Sort of like an ARMY.

No, this ARMY is not being led by an ass , literally. This ARMY is not fighting for oil, this ARMY is fighting to conquer a territory known to man as wrestling. Once this army has completed its goal it will turn to an empire. We will have a stretching army so large that no man in his right mind would choose to reckon with it.

But that is on the contrary at the moment. I have to numb skulls hoping to seek revenge on me. Well, actually I have one man seeking for a faint grasp of revenge.

That’s you Phantom.

You might have been screwed over as a champion. But just think about it. You are now looking at a real champion, a true king. This king has multiple tools of weaponry to his disposal. He has me, and I have him. He holds all the keys to all the doors Phantom. And what do I posses?

I poses this Phantom.

[Doe points to his head]

I hold a brain. A brain that is telling me to show you why your blindly led battle of self righteousness will fall to the ever so glorious DREDD. Why don’t you tell those useless morons that we call fans that you are going to destroy John Doe to set an example for Marx. Tell them how much you thrive to be champion again, how you thirst for a title once more.

Lead them blindly into a battle like President Bush has. Led them to believe you have been cheated by the system like American citizens. Tell them you are superior like the Republican Party and that this crime will not go unpunished.

And I will stand here with a faint smile on my face knowing how full of **** you truly are. I will take your statements and expose you for the dirty rat you are. You are truly like the Republican Party. You weasel your way into power, you lie to the people. You know sort of like George W’s daddy did “No More Taxes!”. The rich will serve the rich, “Tax cuts for the rich”, the selfish will led the selfish, and the real heroes will be shown in their white light.

Hence DREDD.

Did you know that last weeks Raucous was the highest rating show of all TV. It blew all competition out of the water, not to mention it out ranked all other Raucous shows. The reason is because Jonathan Marx, Brandon Jacobs, and myself KNOW wrestling. We know what fans, even though they are like fish and bite at anything, we know what they like. We know the sport, we know the competition and we know what to expect. That’s what separates us from most wrestlers.

That’s why we are superior to you and all of New Era Phantom. You are nothing more than a man who was in the gym and saw a New Era truck stroll by then stated “I think I want to be a professional wrestler.”.

The Phantom Republican. I want you to think about that, something (as a specter) apparent to sense but with no substantial existence. That’s what your name means Phantom. You have no existence. You mean nothing. You meant nothing and now that you hold no title you have returned back to lower than nothing.

‘Nough about you. Let’s go to the dildo shoving MWG.

Now this man has been on a roll lately. He has gone from mid card to top dog. Although he is a bit queer it’s fine cause in the back he will pick your outfit. This man is a pure 100% FAGGOT and he is damn proud of it!

Through the eye liner and the nail polish this man is an entertainer. And an entertainer he will remain. Nothing more than to give those imbeciles in the seats their moneys worth. No talent, he pinches your ass you squeak and though your disgust you let him defeat you to get the hell out of the ring with him.

End of story.

Period, no mass. That’s Spanish.

I have seen almost everything. I have wrestled almost every name there has been. And yet there has been no real challenge provided for me.

Don’t let that infests your puny minds, you two are no different. This week I plan to get another raised hand.

FADEOUT.

 

[TH]

Same podium.

GOP: MWG, you sicken me. You and every single one of your ilk. You make me shudder to the very core of my body, thinking you can thrust your ideals onto us righteous, God-fearing conservatives like you thrust your loins into the AIDS-infested sphincters of your homosexual transvestite lovers, after you smoke your whacky-tobaccy and pop your whippets. Well, it's not happening, not on my watch. You're not going to subversively plant ideas into my brain. There will be no liberal brainwashings on my watch! The way you try to slyly imply that I have ever had an impure thought is reminiscent of 1950s Hollywood, how all those Communists infiltrated our moving pictures and turned a generation of Americans against the wholesome Republican adminstration. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to see you in league with the Red DREDD party.

Yes, I can see it now. One, huge, giant conspiracy! (Ed. note: This is not Bloodhunt under a mask... work with me here ) All the way from the top to the bottom, even the ring crew guys are on high alert to make sure I don't leave with a victory. Well, you're all going to be sadly mistaken, especially you, MWG. You think you're clever and witty, trying to turn it back on me. Well, I can tell you that I have never, ever had one homosexual thought in my entire life! Not even in my youth, when my mind might have been impressionable to the lies perpetrated by the liberal media and artists. NOt even for Joe Montana. Oh Joe, you led the 49ers to all those Super Bowls, with your strong, muscly throwing arm, your rugged good looks, your masculine charm. Sometimes, I just wish you'd take me in...

GOP catches himself.

GOP: THE HUDDLE! And call a play for me to score a touchdown! Yes! I AM NOT GAY!

Hyperventilation.

GOP: I can assure you MWG that a homosexual thought has never crossed this mind, but I can think of several thoughts that will cross yours. Like, "please, stop hurting me" and "I wish I had married Peggy Sue and registered Republican like my father had wanted." Because after I'm done with you, you'll see the error of not only choosing a filthy and immoral lifestyle, but trying to project it on myself as well.

As for you, Mr. Doe, it's odd that you talk about having a brain or being able to lead and think for yourself when your actions prove otherwise. If you're the leader of your pathetic little guerilla militia, then why is it you're not the one reaping the benefits as Champion? If you think for yourself, why is it that you've let the lead Communist, Mr. Marx, string you along at every turn? Why do you get the crap jobs of having do deal with hotheaded wrecking machines like Chaos? Why?

Because you're easily played and feeble-minded. Much like the students in a college campus are prone to be brainwashed by the traitors with doctorates who hold programming sessions thinly veiled as classes to hate the righteous Right, piss on America and light their joints with burning American flags, you show your inclination to ignorance through your speech. You hardly know a damn thing about your own stable; what makes you the authority about President Bush? You're pathetic.

While you lead your feeble army into a war you cannot win, even with the aid of the greatest conspiracy of all time, you do so under false pretenses. You only go into war thinking you can win, yet you are predestined to lose. You want to fight a war where you establish a kingdom and an empire. My forefathers fought a war against a kingdom and an empire. We won our freedom from a kingdom and we decimated an empire in World War II. Your rhetoric is no match for democracy, for what the people want.

Bask in your glory now, for it is fleeting. Because when I start dropping MOABs on top of you, you'll wish you never tried to incur the wrath of the Phantom Republican!

Fade.

 

[John Doe]

FADEIN….

DREDD HEADQUATERS
PRINCETON, NEW JERSEY
1859 HRS

John Doe is sitting on a couch drinking a water bottle. He sits up slightly and looks up at the camera. A smirk gliding across his face.


DOE:

You think you have one up on me Republican? You think that you are a step ahead of everything. That is why you failed in defending your title. That is why you were subject to the honor of passing the torch to a great wrestler such as Jonathan Marx.

You ask me why I am not the gold carrying member of DREDD? Well, every ARMY needs a leader and they also need a front man. I am that leader, Marx is that front man. I may not be the most talented wrestler but I can organize and distribute.

That’s the tools of destruction I use GOP. I have my wits to show for the victories I collect. Why you suck on the right nut of the most disorganized party in the history of politics Marx and I have a proven that DREDD is ahead of its time.

You called me out to say I am not leader. Let me pluck your brain here GOP. It was I who came with the idea to trick the ever so bright owner of this company to sign a wavier signing his very own show to ME. I created the matches at Raucous; I designed a way that no matter what MY team would walk out with a title.

Face the facts; I fully knew that there is NO ONE in the New Era locker room that would come to your aide as a special guest. The odds were against you, you have Marx and myself who don’t mind who comes out as a champion as long as the title is strapped on DREDD.

On the other hand you had a team member who wants to hump you if you pass out. And guess what if he pinned a man you lose. The odds were so stacked against you that they should have handed Marx the title.

Not only did you fail in defending your title at MY Raucous. But now you have me in a match with my own partner as the special referee. Think about it GOP, you think Marx will actually count a three count against me?

You think that the man I crowned as a champion, literally, is going to let me fall to you? Do you really think he will allow me to be defeated by the poster boy of San Francisco? You have a whole other thing coming. Marx is calling ALL the shots. He has the stripes on, I have the advantage. I have Marx, I have his sister, and I have Brandon Jacobs. ALL of which will allow me a straight victory.

Cheating is such a petty word.

I like to call it a slight advantage. I have a World Champion in my group; I have the worlds most genius manager in my corner. Not only that, I have a female who will do anything to secure a win.

It is my choice to have them there at ringside. Do I honestly need them? Against a man such as you GOP I give it a no. But for security purposes and to make sure you are not going to try and cheat by hitting me with a chair, I will have them at Ringside to make sure I am 100% safe.

I mean who knows what a political crazy such as you would do to prove a point. I mean Republicans have done all kinds of insane things to get a point across! You are just another government idiot fallen into the cracks in doing justice in the eyes of America! It’s all for the red, white and blue!

Get out of here. Nobody cares for your patriotism. The only reason you do it is to get the cheap pop when your stupid Darth Vader music hits the damn PA system.

Don’t worry; I’m ever so sure your Jedi powers will save you in this match. Maybe if you use to force Yoda will pop out of the turnbuckle and pin me down with his light saber.

And then we will all wake up and see you for the real pathetic loser you are. And when the fans finally realize what kind of man they had as a champion the will notice that we did them a service.

But as we all know fans will be fans, and GOP will be GOP.

These are the exact reasons I had to set up a way to strip you of the gold. And that is the exact reason I have to put you in check at Raucous.

FADEOUT.