CANE: “I guess I don’t have a lot to be excited about these days, do I?”
(The Camera opens up on “Total Carnage” Trevor Cane standing in front of a white backdrop. His face withdrawn from the Camera’s view.)
CANE: “It’s my own fault. I get it now. I go out there, stepping stool to the stars. People like Jeff Jorgenson get their shots at the Television title. But what do I get? What does Trevor Cane get? I get a worthless match against Mr. Entertainment. Where is he this week?”
(Cane moves his head, now looking directly at theCamera.)
CANE: “Well what a shock, he’s in the main event. Going after the Television Championship. I used to believe that the Lord worked in mysterious ways, but now I can see that these days, here in New Era, the Lord has kept his distance.”
(Cane spits on the ground next to him.)
CANE: “Now before people start getting all riled up, this isn’t the return of “the Messenger.” This is just the epiphany I needed to finally get past the streak of horrible luck I’ve been having. Everything seemed so promising coming back from Banned in the US. But lately I just can’t get a victory. Hell, I offered my first born child and still came up empty handed against Mr. Entertainment. What does a guy have to do around here?”
(Total Carnage wipes the beginnings of sweat from his forehead.)
CANE: “Even though I’m down in the dumps, I’m not giving up easily. I went from that nutcase Mr. Entertainment last Raucous to, well, another nutcase this week. Paddy McDowell. Solid Snake. I was tipped off as soon as I got the fax. If only I had thought ahead last week to bring a mirror or a tape recorder in my match, I would have easily had Mr. Entertainment at the disadvantage. He would have been so caught up in his own voice, or so distracted by seeing himself in the mirror, that I could have been driving nails into the back of his kneecaps and he wouldn’t have noticed.”
(Cane nods.)
CANE: “But I’m coming prepared this week. I’m bringing my Verizon MyFi. I’m bringing my PSP. And I’m going to have a wide array of titles for McDowell to drool over. This way, while he’s busy collecting gold rings and trying to save his friend Flipper or Princess or Knuckles or whatever these kids have for games today, I’m going to be pinning his shoulders to the mat.”
(Cane smiles.)
CANE: “Paddy. Don’t get me wrong. It’s nothing personal. You have just been put in the wrong place, at the wrong time. "Total Carnage" hasn't lived up to the hype. I think it is about time I did."
(Cane looks away from the camera as it goes dark.)
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