From Out of the Gutter....
((FADEIN: Michael Manson, wearing his "Mike Manson: Eat Fresh Daily" t-shirt and black jeans, stands in front of a table with a red cloth placed over it with a chalice and Darth ader pez dispenser on it.))
MANSON: I took the liberty of setting up an altar for you, Jared. Now I know the other Jarod is my biggest fan, but I take it's about time that you got down on your hands and knees and started with the worship. ventuall, you can graduate up to sacrifices and masses in my honor, and when you do, I have this altar all set for you.
And you, Jared Wells, above all....should bow to my glory. To rephrase the earlier question..Why? Because I went out of my way and I made this match myself. No one even considered you, Jared, to be anywhere close to me in a match.
Speaking of this grand comeback, how is it going so far? A loss and a continuing humiliation at the hands of the oh so cleverly named Larry Tact..and of course....Anarky made you feel like the new ##### in prison. Now, most people would call this a failure. In fact, I've seen you go on that you're "raging" against the machine, that hideous headless system that is the GLCW.
You see, Jared, managements don't like me because..well I'm me. ut at the same time, they have no choice but to put up with me at the same time because I am me. They like you Jared, you're a solid citizen. You don't rock the boat..you wave the American flag and get the unwashed to like you. That's why no one ever put you in match with me before, no one wants to see sch a nice guy get crucified.
But now, Jared, all you're amounting to is what I like to call, a bottom feeder. Going nowhere fast. It doesn't matter how well you did in whatever cesspool you were drowning in before, right now, you're opening match material...you know...right before the real stars come out.
But I...I dragged you right out of the gutter wth my all consuming generosity...after all virtue is its own reward...but you go on and on....you say I'm great, well at least you got one thing right. Unfortunately, the free ride on my name only lasts one night. You get the priviledge of being another victim...as faceless as a postal worker. Then it's back to bottom feeding.
For one night though, one night only, you're as big a star as you think you are..all because of me. And I will take the matter up of beating that "thank you" out of you...because once the dream ends....reality asserts itself when that bell rings. I control your life, your career..I am your salvation....and your ruin..all in one night..and for this..do not doubt that I am your God.