GreggG
Moderator
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2000
- Messages
- 810
- Points
- 18
(CUT TO: "The Original King of Cool" JJ DeVille-- hair permed, earring dangling, a FREE ALLEN half-shirt, jean shorts, fanny pack, nunchucks, stands in front of the CSWA FISH FUND logo.)
JJ: Fish Fund... the CSWA's premier Pay-Per-View event... an event that draws in hundreds of thousands of people from all over the trailer parks that dot West Texas... an event that millions of neo-maxie zoom dweebies order to feel better about themselves for a few minutes... and GUESS WHAT? (JJ shakes his head in disbelief and starts kicking the earth.) I'M NOT A PART OF IT!
Can YOU believe that? Consistently, I-- The Original King of Cool, The Human Weapon, the man with a Bod of a God with legs of lightning and hands of stone... the man who has drawn the biggest ratings in this league's history for television segments that do not feature Eddy Love, Troy Windham or the Sweedish Bikini Team... the man who is a hero to millions not just in in his adopted hometown of Greensboro, North Cackalacky... not just in the eastern time zone... not just in America... but in 42 nations, 14 protectorates and... (JJ twirls the chucks around.) EVEN CANADA.
So, why am I not on this card, you ask? Simple-- because as you MAY have seen, I was recently defeated by the man known as GUNS, THE STRONGEST CHARMS IN THE WORLD. GUNS THE STRONGEST ARMS IN THE WORLD... if that is indeed your real name... how LUCKY did you get? You needed to knock me out with an ether rag. Fireball my GQ-looks face. Hit me with an axe. AND put your feet on the ropes. And what you did, when you did that, was you took my livelihood away from me. You broke my heart. YOU STOLE MY WORLD GREENSBORO TITLE... a title that I earned and I title that I loved. And now... now because you CHEATED to beat me. I was told that the only way I can show up at Fish Fund is if I help install the ring. Well, GUNS THE WEAKEST BRAIN IN THE WORLD... JJ DeVille only installs equipment if his bestest friend in the whole wide world Hurricane Eddie Love asks him to... so GUESS WHAT? I'm not going to BE at Fish Fund... (JJ menacingly points the nunchucks to the camera.) AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
But rest assured, GUNS. You may have defeated me once. You may be seemingly impervious to my martial arts mastery. You may have thrown me towards the Third Row. But the thing is, you came up a little bit short. I'm still here, Mr. The Strongest Arms in the world... if that is indeed your real name. And no matter what you did to me in Oklahoma City, the fact remains that I'm still here and you still suck! And one day... it may not be tomorrow and it may not be the day after that... heck, it might not even be the day after THAT... but one day, my friend, you are going to eat Dark Chocolate... and you will once agaun be unable to avoid the noid. (FTB)
JJ: Fish Fund... the CSWA's premier Pay-Per-View event... an event that draws in hundreds of thousands of people from all over the trailer parks that dot West Texas... an event that millions of neo-maxie zoom dweebies order to feel better about themselves for a few minutes... and GUESS WHAT? (JJ shakes his head in disbelief and starts kicking the earth.) I'M NOT A PART OF IT!
Can YOU believe that? Consistently, I-- The Original King of Cool, The Human Weapon, the man with a Bod of a God with legs of lightning and hands of stone... the man who has drawn the biggest ratings in this league's history for television segments that do not feature Eddy Love, Troy Windham or the Sweedish Bikini Team... the man who is a hero to millions not just in in his adopted hometown of Greensboro, North Cackalacky... not just in the eastern time zone... not just in America... but in 42 nations, 14 protectorates and... (JJ twirls the chucks around.) EVEN CANADA.
So, why am I not on this card, you ask? Simple-- because as you MAY have seen, I was recently defeated by the man known as GUNS, THE STRONGEST CHARMS IN THE WORLD. GUNS THE STRONGEST ARMS IN THE WORLD... if that is indeed your real name... how LUCKY did you get? You needed to knock me out with an ether rag. Fireball my GQ-looks face. Hit me with an axe. AND put your feet on the ropes. And what you did, when you did that, was you took my livelihood away from me. You broke my heart. YOU STOLE MY WORLD GREENSBORO TITLE... a title that I earned and I title that I loved. And now... now because you CHEATED to beat me. I was told that the only way I can show up at Fish Fund is if I help install the ring. Well, GUNS THE WEAKEST BRAIN IN THE WORLD... JJ DeVille only installs equipment if his bestest friend in the whole wide world Hurricane Eddie Love asks him to... so GUESS WHAT? I'm not going to BE at Fish Fund... (JJ menacingly points the nunchucks to the camera.) AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
But rest assured, GUNS. You may have defeated me once. You may be seemingly impervious to my martial arts mastery. You may have thrown me towards the Third Row. But the thing is, you came up a little bit short. I'm still here, Mr. The Strongest Arms in the world... if that is indeed your real name. And no matter what you did to me in Oklahoma City, the fact remains that I'm still here and you still suck! And one day... it may not be tomorrow and it may not be the day after that... heck, it might not even be the day after THAT... but one day, my friend, you are going to eat Dark Chocolate... and you will once agaun be unable to avoid the noid. (FTB)