Raw deal.....
(Fade in on Dakota as he slowly paces back and forth within the confines of the ring… His methodical pacing only matched by his expressionless face and beaming eyes as he paces from corner to corner…. )
DAKOTA: So typical of you Lars, so predictable… Yea that’s what you are… You’re typical and you’re predictable… I knew that eventually I would get to jerk your chain and out would come the true Lars Magellan… A pathetic individual whose intellect rivals that of a jack ass…
(From the PA system, we begin to hear Lars’ last segment, Dakota slows his pace even more as he shakes his head and laughs)
DAKOTA: You seem to have an ass fetish Lars, it is obvious that somewhere along the line you must have dropped the soap and when you went to pick it up, the **** in you ass was rammed all the way up your brain… It has clouded your thinking; you actually believe that you have a snow ball’s chance in hell of taking me out…Now if you think that by coming out here, calling me names, and trying to insult my intelligence will get you anywhere, better think again my little idiotic amigo… You’re just full of assumptions, aren’t you Lars!? (Laughs) Well so be it, if all you can do is come out here and hurl asinine insults that don’t even make any damn sense and jabber on about how you are going to kick my ass, well I can’t stop you from assuming that and making a complete ass of yourself, however you are going down Lars, no if, ands or buts about it… It’s just that simple Lars
(Pauses; and starts to laugh again only this time in a sarcastic manner…)
DAKOTA: You’re a funny guy Lars, your antics have been amusing me since day one, but alas the time for playing games is almost over and you, my little unsuspecting amigo will realize too little, too late that you never stood a chance against me …. It’s real easy to have cojones when you are surrounded by your peers Lars, but let’s see how well you fare, when you are cornered and there’s no place to run, and no one to help you… And the only thing that gets shoved up anyone’s ass will be my foot up yours… So Lars, I suggest you come up with a different game plan than the one you have been using as of late, it’s old, it’s redundant and it isn’t going to work… But I’m going to cut this promo short, I know that your attention span rivals that of a jack ass and the last thing I want you to do is get bored… (Smirks) So Lars, before you go flying off the handle and make a complete ass of yourself yet again, think before you speak and make sure that you bring a big freaking receiving sack… It’s going to be a long damn night for you… Combat Episode 6 will be no different than the rest Lars, you’ll come down to the ring, thinking one thing but remember this, burn it into your memory cells; I am going to take you out, I am going to take pleasure in beating the crap out of you… I just don’t like you Lars, it’s nothing personal in fact it has nothing to do with business either, it’s just the way it is…
(Stares into the camera with a deadpan expression and without saying another word walks away… The camera is about to fade off, when a voice is heard…. “YO!!! Don’t even think of turning that thing off, I have a few things to say”… Focus in on none other than JC himself, dressed in a black Armani suit sporting a full goatee with his hair in a ponytail… A devious grin as he looks to make sure that Dakota has indeed left before he says anything else…)
JC: DAMN!!! It feels great to be back!!! I really missed the wonderful world of wrestling entertainment with its soap opera like stories, its heroes, its villains; its never ending rivalries, its actors, its performers, and its clowns… Which brings me to YOU Mr. Lars Magellan… What are you!? SUICIDAL!? There’s an old saying that goes something like this, “those who fail to comprehend history are doomed to repeat it”, and you must be their poster boy for the year 2004… I say that out of concern Lars, concern over your well being once you’re in the ring facing Dakota, you see Lars, I have seen you in action and believe me dude, your skills and talents leave a lot to be desired… But I do give you credit for trying… Only I feel compelled to warn your ignorant ass, that Dakota is not about soap operas, he’s not here for that nor is he here trying to win any damn popularity contest, the man just doesn’t care, he doesn’t give a damn about anything other than what Dakota wants… And at this precise moment, he’s looking at you as an obstacle standing in his way and that’s not the safest place to be Lars… Trying to antagonize Dakota is the last thing you want to do, but I understand, you’re different; you have Dakota all figured out, you have the answers to all the questions… (Bursts out into laughter…) I apologize for that outburst, it’s just that you really are a funny guy, dumb as hell but none the less a funny guy… I really like the way you stammer and stutter through your little promos… You don’t have a damn clue as to what is really going on, do you Lars!? Neither Shammy, nor Sammy and not even your mammy will be able to help you out this time Lars, you’re on your own this time around… Face it Lars, you got a raw deal and now you have to live with it... Now you can turn that thing off, I have said what needed to be said…
(Camera slowly begins to fade off as JC continues to smirk in a sinister fashion… Fade off into black…)