DoP Be Thuggin', Yo Diggidy
(The scene opens up in the local hood. On the steps of an apartment building, some homies be chillin, watching fly *****es walk by. Cracka's walk by, trying to hate, but some thugs put him down right. The recent Soul Train episode is showing outside on the Hood TV, with all the fly ladies dancing.
In the distance, phat blastin' beats come echoing. Down the block, a bright Pink Pinto, gold rims, fuzzy dice, furry seat covers, hydrolics pumping it down the street, "Rappers Delight" by the Sugarhill Gang drowning out any hopes of any other sound being heard)
DoPimp: What it is, jive turkeys? DoPimp be representin' da Midwest!
(Homies do be laughin they asses off at the cracka')
DoPimp: I come here to be wit muh homies, but dey do be late. So I be goin to go up to deir apahtment to get dem.
(He rolls with his bass-on-max-treble-on-no gangsta rap down the street, and stops in front of an old run down apartment. He jumps out, and struts on in.
After 20 fly *****es pass out from orgasm of seeing his dope white ass, he knocks on the door to Apartment 69)
DoPimp: Yo C-Note! Open up! It's D-Bomb!
(A wack Chinese guy opens the door)
C-Note: Yo dauwgue! What crackin'?
DoPimp: Ain't no thang but a chicken wang on a strang from Burger Kang.
C-Note: I dig. Where be Stink Masta Funk?
DoPimp: Sheeiitt, he be trippin'.
C-Note: No doubt.
DoPimp: No diggidy.
C-Note: Let go get *****es!
DoPimp: I feels dat, daeuawg!
(They strut back out to the Pimpin Pinto, where 69 fly hunnies are waiting for them)
C-Note: Damn! Dat be quick, yo. How you do it?
DoPimp: I have Axe on.
C-Note: Dat be wack, fly, dope, stupid, kickin, slammin', off da frame, hooked on a chain, *****in', and SUPER FLY!
(DoPimp and C-Note pop 17 of the biggest boners ever, the fly ladies swoon, and they pork, while DoPimp has the words "World Champ" written in permanent marker on his chest...in
GOLD)