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RE: On the firing lines again.

Hell_Fighter

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RE: On the firing lines again.

Hey fellow rpers of the GXW,

This is Patrick Shutt, who handles "HellFighter" Michael Patrick Shutt and True Living Colors. Every now and again I do this in order to find out how I am doing in the league, and as the 2001 GXW season draws to a close, I feel that it is that time again.

I am willingly putting myself on the front firing lines and allowing all of you to give me your thoughts on how I am doing in the league. You do not have to do this, but if you do it would be most appreciated if you could help me out at your earliest convenience after you all get back from your holidays. No rush, but if you have time just tell me what's going on with me.

In the past when I have done this, alot of you have given me some good remarks and some pointers on how to improve and I have done my best to improve in the best way possible, and I want to still beable to hear your comments on how I can improve as a rper in the GXW.

This is for both of my character units, both True Living Colors and HellFighter. How am I doing, what angle ideas or significant feud ideas do you see them in. What can I do with them going into the new year?

Now what I am asking is for you all to...when you have the chance is tell me what I am doing right, what I am doing wrong, what I need to improve on, how bad do I suck against all of you really good rpers. And lets face it...to alot of you, I stand no chance of taking you on because you are so good and I am so...well...you get the idea. But I want to get better and get to the point where I can compete against you. I want to strive to be perfect as an rper. Just please tell me what else I need to do to continually get better as a competitor in the GXW.

Now when doing this, please don't be all negative, please point out positives as well. I don't want this to be a bash fest on me...even though I probably deserve it at times. Be honest, but at the same time be thoughtful. I can take it, I am an actor and writer, so this is nothing. But we can all agree that the nagatives can turn into positives and that is what I want to do with this. So when you get the chance, please let me know how I am doing...both good and bad.

Well this is enough from me, I look forward to hearing all of your comments and what you have to say and seeing what else I need to improve on as an rper. I humble myself before your notes. As you put me through the fire, may I become stronger and sharper in the future to come.

Talk to you all again later. Have a safe and merry Christmas and a happy new year (to all of the politically incorrect) and to all of the PCs out there...happy holidays, seasons greetings, happy new year, etc. etc. etc. Okay I love you bye bye.

Sincerely,
God Bless,
Patrick M. Shutt
(HellFighter & True Living Colors)
 

SFZero

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Feedback

I don't have any real logical progression here, just thoughts that come to mind, though I'll divide it into Hellfighter and TLC.

Hellfighter

First and foremost, you have come a long way since the last time you asked this, back in EWI. As the cards go by, you seem to get more and more comfortable with your character and your surroundings.

You've tried to get innovative, throwing in the numerous Skillet references and appearances. Stop. They don't add anything to your roleplays, and if anything, they give you a tacky and clichéd image.

This goes for Hellfighter, TLC, Twin Phoenix, and anything else you do. One word: proof-read. Nothing turns me off from anybody's RP than tons of typos and poor grammar. If you're not big on writing on word processors, write your RP, then copy it out of FW and put it in Word real quick and spell/grammar check it and you'll be a lot better. However, please go through and check for names. You've a habit of hideously misspelling people's names, and it makes it hard to take you seriously at all.

We're both actors, so let's try and look at it from that standpoint. Were I you, I would seriously look into revamping the way you deliver your message in your roleplays. Would a propective director be interested in a long monologue that skims countless points, but addresses none? You need to work on developing Hellfighter's vocal and speaking style, because a lot of times he comes off as reading like stereo instructions.

Don't take that as you've done nothing right, I just touched on the negative side because it's easier to point out someone's faults than what they've done right, because true talent is in the eye of the beholder. Your dedication with all your characters is admirable, and I don't think I've yet seen you back away from a challenge.

True Living Colors

I won't have as much insight about these characters because I haven't spent as much time around them since I wasn't part of Nth, but I'll give you my two cents.

A lot of the things I said about Hellfighter apply here too. True Living Colors says a lot of words, but very little meaning gets across. We're aware they want to be the UNDISPUTED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD. Give us something more. Who are they? Where are they from? Why do they hang with Lillian? Give us some insight into the characters themselves, instead of making them two-dimensional cartoon-esque characters.

I hope this has been helpful,

JP
VP of Card Production
 

Hell_Fighter

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RE: Feedback...in my defense.

Thanks JP for the response.

I know that you are just sharing your opinions and it is always helpful. I said for you to be truthful, and I got it. But I think that I do need to clarify a couple of things on both HellFighter anad True Living Colors...from my standpoint what I was trying to do.

First off, about HellFighter. Since the birth of the GXW, I have been trying to keep HellFighter fresh and innovative with my style of rping. I try not to ramble on, but I have always tried to have a point. The point is that Me/HellFighter have always spoken from my heart. I have always tried to allow HellFighter to be transparent. He is human, he struggles, he does not put himself above everyone else. In fact, even he has put himself below everyone else. He is a Christian...(and many of you have railed me for playing this direction with my character, but I stand by with my convictions and I will not change it.) Now you are right in the fact that when I write from my heart, I do tend to ramble on and hence get lost in my themes and meanings...also causing me to have misspells. Now I know that I do not misspell as often as I used to. I type faster than I used to. But nevertheless, there is always room for improvement and the misspells are still there. I guess the reason why I don't proofread my work is because I get so busy with trying to finish my rp and send it off that I don't pay attention to the little details such as typos. Plus I sometimes have the dillusion of grandure that I few measly typos won't spoil the essence of the rp. The other reason why I don't write my rps on paper first is because my fingers type faster than I write, and I get discouraged when I write now. Plus in my mind I know what I want to say, but as I put everything on a board for an rp I sometimes forget. I will try and change.

Now you ask why I use the Skillet lines and so forth. I have felt that they have been very important in my rps. If you pay attention to the lines that I have submitted in the rps, they have all delt with going on, getting stronger, better knowing HellFighter's relationship with God, etc. The quotes I thought were all part of a new rp style that I started using when I was rping with Zeiba a few months back. Zeiba told me that the first rp that I wrote using his type of style actually worked and he was impressed, so I thought, if it works, keep using it. I guess somewhere...from the way you told me, that I missed the mark and screwed up everything. (Hence why I ws jobbed and got my butt kicked in the main event match at Fallout.) I thought that I did pretty well for someone that rped in less than two days. But I guess I didn't do that good afterall. Well it looks like I am back to the midcarder board waiting for another opportunity to get to the main event. Hopefully I will get there sometime in 2002, maybe 2003 if I am lucky eh?

But for True Living Colors. I think that maybe I have lossed touch of TLC since the Nthwa and I don't know how to really get them back up to contention status, and chances are they are dead and just waiting to be buried knowing my luck. But that is my fault. But if you are wondering why I kept using the whole UNDISPUTED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD gimmick thing is because at worlds collide they did become that and they were fueling their egos. They are incredibly cocky and like to run their mouth at everyone. They have the mentality of 'We're good and we know it.' They are supposed to be artists in the ring...no matter how graphic they are. The graphic the better. Since the merger, TLC has fell in the background and they have just been working to get by. Their edge that got them well known has fallen out of focus and they are not the same as they have been in the Nthwa.

As you asked those questions JP, you bought up some good points and I agree, but the point is I am lost by what you are saying. I mean I know what you are saying by revamping my stuff and everything. But I don't know where to begin. I am stuck...hence why I am doing this in the first place...to get the tools and the ideas that I need so that I can help HellFighter, True Living Colors, Twin Phoenix, or anybody else improve as characters. So I do not stay as either mediocre or just plain suck, which lets face it...compared to all of you...I flat out suck. But I want to get better. So I am inviting not just JP, but anybody else in the GXW to respond and help me out. You are right, this is a challenge. You say that I have never backed out from a challenge. But if I do not have the tools to improve then how can I know where to begin. Like give me an idea for a format in my rps. I thought that I had one with EZ's style of rp, but I guess I was wrong. Now I have to start all over again and climb my way back to the top. Everybody said that I didn't belong in the main event, and from the way that I rped, they looked like they were right, and I didn't belong. So when will I belong?

So if you have an idea on where I can begin, what angles I can fit in, what fueds to do, what direction, what rp style you all feel works for me. Please tell me because I am so lost. I know where JP is coming from, but still I have no idea where to begin or whatever.

Well I have said enough. Thank you all for your time, and I hope that you all can help a hopeless, mediocre rper like me to be compared to the likes of people like Les, Evan, Scott, JP, Chad, EZ, etc. I welcome any and all ideas and notes that you have for me.

Well thank you again, and God Bless, have a very merry christmas.

Sincerely,
God Bless,
Patrick M. Shutt
 
Y

youknowwho

Guest
RE: Feedback...in my defense.

Lemme give you my two cents on this, Patrick. I was discussing this with JP also not long ago.

Hellfighter-

There is a basic flaw in the design of the Hellfighter character that makes him unbelievable and therefore...doomed to fail. You're a man of convictions and that's all good. So, you insist on playing up the Christian side of Hellfighter. That's your right, but it's also a walking contradiction in professional wrestling. There is no place in Christianity for getting "payback" or any measure of revenge of any kind through physical violence. It is this contradiction that makes Hellfighter silly and a caricature of Christianity rather than a true example of it. If you want to witness to people in GXW, this isn't the best way to do it. Because what you want to get across is most definitely NOT getting across.

TLC-

These are your best characters. I've seen a damn fine roleplay come out of this team from time to time, probably because we don't have religion being bashed over our heads. All they need is a good angle or storyline to get them jumpstarted. That's all.

As for general details. Spelling, grammar and so on? If you're too anxious and too excited to do these things then don't get upset when you lose. Because those little details will kill a good RP every single time. It's the elite role players that pay attention to every little detail. That's what makes the role plays and the role players great. So if you want the tools to be elite, there you go. If you don't feel the need to make those changes, well...don't come back next year with one of these asking why you haven't moved up the card in 2002.

Dave
 

Hell_Fighter

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RE: Feedback...in my defense.

Hey Dave,

Thanks for the comments. Very straight forward and to the point. But I think I need to set the record straight on a couple of points that you made.

You said that HellFighter playing the vengance type of role. You are right. But I need to clear the air for you and everyone here. At genesis (Before the merger into GXW) and then at Worlds Collide, I got HellFighter away from the vengence persona because of those very reasons that you named off. I think that the reason why I played the vengence card on HellFighter is because I was trying to illustrate that HellFighter was human and that he makes mistakes, that I was allowing him to become transparent so that everyone could see that he had weeknesses. I also know that taking on someone such as HellFighter would be a huge undertaking. Because of those same guidelines and restrictions that give him fine lines that he as a character has to walk on. Also HellFighter is the type of character that is more like me as a person. I wanted him to be as close to me as possible...even more so. That is why at the beginning of the merger I chose to change his name so that he would be as close to me without being me. He is a personal character, but also without a doubt, he is also my hardest character to play because of those strict guidelines. I chose him because I wanted to do something that has never been done in wrestling and I know that I can see him through.

But I did get off of the vengence gimmick that was attached to HellFighter for so long. If you realized that in my rps before Fallout, he was getting back to why he came into this business to begin with. He was winning not for him but for God. That was his motivation. That was a sign that I was doing away with everything from the old ways with HellFighter. Remember in Marcus Johnson's first rp for that card, that he mentioned that HellFighter had a score to settle with Dan Ryan for putting him through the announcer's table on X-Perience, but in my rp...hellfighter said that his only way of settling the score was winning the world title, but not doing it for himself, but for God. So I am having HellFighter returning to the basics...his first love of why he become a wrestler in the first place. As you see that some of the stuff that you mentioned was stuff that I was already trying to do. But I guess it is really easy to get overlooked.

Now onto True Living Colors. I can see why TLC is my best character unit. And you have seen this from our time together in the Nthwa...even though we have had no run ins before, but you saw the birth and growth of TLC first hand, so you do know what you are talking about. But keep in mind, like HellFighter is my hardest character to play because of those restrictions, TLC is my easiest character unit to play because there are no restrictions. I will not bail on HellFighter because I am determined to see HellFighter through. But HellFighter must fall before he can fly, and this a season of falling for HellFighter.

If you remember in the Nthwa, I had a perpose for TLC and it worked for them. But since joining with the GXW, that same game plan for TLC has become old and routine. Now going into 2002, I do have a gameplan angle for them that will help them to branch out and evolve as characters. I want them to kind of go back to the old ways of the Nthwa with their egos and how they controlled the fans thought about them, but now I want to expand on that with a new angle to what you said jumpstart them in the right direction.

But again, back onto HellFighter, I have never tried to bash religion into anybody. In fact I hate the word. HellFighter is just a man who just so happens to have a relationship with God and desires to grow in him daily...or at least I try to. I have never tried to make HellFighter like another right to censor, and if anyone says I have, I will vomit my insides clear out of me. If I have done that, it was not intentionally and I am sorry. Please forgive me if I have offended. HellFighter is a man of past and has problems just like everyone else. The vengence thing was a direct result of those problems. I want people to look back and see what HF went through to get to where he is in the future.

Well I hope that this gives you all a better idea to what I was intending to do with HellFighter and TLC. I want to let you all know what I was trying to do to give you all the fully story. My whole goal for this putting myself on the front lines is so that I don't go at the end of 2002 why I haven't moved up any in the GXW. I am doing this so that can make HellFighter the best that he is and TLC the best they can be.

I agree that the best rpers are the one's who pay attention to the smallest of details, and that is what I will do in 2002, or at least try to do more of. I hope that this at least gives you a better understanding about me and my characters that I play.

No I will not do away with HellFighter for the simple fact that he is too personal, but he does need to change. But please know that your advice is stuff that I tried to do, but it was overlooked, so hopefully will help people to see more of in 2002.

Well thank you all for your time and again keep it coming. This is only the beginning. Everybody vent out your feeling about HellFighter and TLC. Please. Tell me these things so that I can make them better.

Sincerely,
God Bless,
Patrick M. Shutt
 

SFZero

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RE: Feedback...in my defense.

Patrick,

Alright look, I wasn't gonna say anything the first time, but this is the second time you've asked for a critique and then argued and debated when you got it. If want a debate, ask for one. You asked for critique, so just take notes, change what you see fit or don't. Case closed. Sorry for being so forward, but it's really rude when you ask for someone's opinion, then them they're wrong.

JP.
 

Hell_Fighter

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RE: Feedback...in my defense.

Sorry JP,

Your right, I was wrong. I was not trying to argue and tell that everybody was wrong. But from the way everybody was going at it. I thought an explaination on my point was in order. I was not trying to argue. And if that came across I do apologize. Please forgive me. I do still want a critique from everyone. My intention was just to show that I do hear what the people were saying, and there was some stuff that I was trying to do. The point being is that if i did it, then I wasn't very clear in my rps and people didn't see it. I need to be more specific and detailed, pay more attention to all of the smalled details like grammer and spelling, and not to lose focus of my characters and what they are about. Does that all cover what this critique was about about thus far.

Again I am sorry, and yes I do want more notes in the future. I thought I conveyed that in passed messages, but I just need to soak them all in and go from there. Please forgive me if I have offended. But I thought an explaination was in order. But i will stop with the explainations and just plain let notes come in like intended to do in the first place. Sorry, it won't happen again.

Sincerely,
God bless,
patrick m. shutt
 

Hell_Fighter

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RE: This Thread is now...closed

Hey everybody,

This is Patrick Shutt again. I want to take this time to inform you that this thread is closed. I have received all that I needed to hear and I am ready to put it all together. The consensus has come back and I know what I need and still need to work on. I want to thank Dave and JP for sharing your thoughts on how I can improve. Your words were a violation and a wound in my pride, but it was worth it. They still needed to be said in order for me to get better. I do plan on trying to get better with the advice that has come my way. There are things that I need to do less of (The quotes) and things that I need to pay attention to more (i.e. spelling and grammer) I can't take for granted that readers will still get what I am trying to convey even with a few errors. Too many spices spoil the broth...especially the wrong kind of spices, and errors are not on the ingredience for a successful rp.

But again, I do want to take one final moment to apologize to Dave and JP and everyone else for debating you when I just should have shut up and listened and soaked it in. I can say that I was trying to explain my side of things and show that some of the stuff that you all said I was trying to do, but the point is "don't just say it...do it." I need to just shut up and do it. So please forgive me. And if I did it before, then I didn't do a very good jo of conveying it. That is all entirely my fault. I will do that in 2002 as well as everything else.

Thank you to everybody for your thoughts on this matter, I will promise...no a vow that these comments will not be in vain.

Sincerely,
God bless,
Patrick M. Shutt
(Hellfighter & True Living Colors)

P.S.-no I will not ditch hellfighter, if he is doomed to fail, then I will make him a success. I am determined to make him a success, despite what other people may believe. Your right JP, this is a challenge that I will not back out of, and this is no different. See you in the funny pages and highlight reels.
 
I

InfernoDrop

Guest
My thoughts

I know this is closed and all, and you're not likely to recieve this, but I thought I'd voice my opinion.

Not to be mean, harsh, rude, etc, but I've never really payed to much attention to your characters or your RPs cause I've never found them interesting. Dunno, maybe it's just me.

And Dave, paying attention doesn't make a good RP. I have damn fine grammar and spelling, but my RPs still tend to be on the suck side.

Sorry, Patrick, for being so blunt. I dislike Hellfighter. Nuff said.

~Bob/Inferno
 
Y

youknowwho

Guest
RE: My thoughts

>>And Dave, paying attention doesn't make a good RP. I have damn fine grammar and spelling, but my RPs still tend to be on the suck side.>>

So true, Bob. But maybe that's just because you're a mentally challenged midget.

I dunno, just throwing things out there.

Dave
 
I

InfernoDrop

Guest
Brought to my attention

Hmm, it's been brought to my attention by Dave and Chad that I am blunt.

Dave said I should just say, "I hate you," and leave it at that. Sounds like a good idea at the time.

I hate you. *leaves it like that*.

~Bob/Inferno
 
M

Mason and Tate

Guest
Less Informed Opinion

Hey man, I'm fairly new to the GXW, having had short stints here and there with my other characters before, and just now arriving with a GXW-exclusively team that I can work on and mold to fit this federation... My point being, I can't honestly grade your work, but I can say this:

Waiting until the last minute to roleplay is selfish. It may help you - at least, in terms of bulk - but it's very selfish, and keeps your opponent from being able to have a fun, creative interacton - the point of this whole federation. If we wanted to write by ourselves, we would do it outside of this 'place'. Instead, we've come here to write and tell and create a story with other people, and last minute RP'ers (this goes for everyone) keep us from doing that.

With that being said, I'd love to see you throw up a TLC rp before the deadline.

<><>Mikey "Yes, Chad Dupree put my name on the roster and gave away my identity :)" P.<><>
 

Hell_Fighter

League Member
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Messages
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RE: Lasting comments??

Hey everybody,

Just for the record, I said that I closed this thread and I have indeed listened to all of your comments and I am thinking of ways of how to integrate them for HellFighter and TLC. No more comments are needed, but I guess I still need to touch base on some of the NEW comments that were said.

Bob...you are a great rper, and very good at paying attention to detail at that. But you say that you don't like HellFighter...All I gotta say is good. That's cool. You know why, because this makes me want to make HellFighter a success now more than ever. So think what you want, you have earned the right to have that opinion, and I hope that in time I can have that same right as you do. But for right now, I am still improving.

But for you to say that I will not receive what you have to say is wrong. The point is that I did receive it. Just like I received everything that was said to me. Just because I had to comment on it does not mean that I didn't receive it. I did in fact receive it. I am thinking of ways to of putting them to use. End of story.

Now...Mikey is it? Handler of Mason & Tate. You are correct on every level. It is selfish of me to wait until the last minute to rp. But please keep in mind that I have a life to and it has been very busy for me to put anything out. But mark my words, you will get a response from me as quickly as I can put them out...with all of the notes that I have received and hopefully put into affect. I have read your rps and they are very good. I been wanted to rp against you since I read your first one, but time has permitted me from replying. You really have sparked my creative side for TLC again, and I thank you. But I am trying to do so much with this Revolution card, I am trying to devise alot of behind the scenes work for my characters plus trying to rp for the both of them. So when this delay does happen. Please be understanding that I am trying my best to rp, but it is taking time and I will do it all. Please forgive me for any delays.

Well thank you all for your comments and extra comments after the thread has closed. You have all been heard and received, and I am putting it all to use (Bob). Thank you all and now, lets close this thread so I can put it all into work. Gotta go, talk to you all again later. If you have anymore comments about me, you like to get off your chest about me. Please ICQ, MSN, Yahoo, or AIM messenger me, or just plain email and I will be more than happy to talk with you.

Sincerely,
God bless,
Patrick M. Shutt
(HellFighter & True Living Colours)
 
I

InfernoDrop

Guest
Odd

Hmm...that is odd. I never said that you wouldn't recieve the message as in put it to good use. I just thought you wouldn't recieve it cause you said it was closed and probably wouldn't be checking it any time soon. At any rate.

If feelings were hurt, I didn't mean it, though my opinion still stands. If ever you have another character, I might like them, but the fact remains that I see no place in wrestling for religion or faith, specially with me being Athiest. Nothing against all you Christian guys out there. You're all like a second family to me. But anyways, you're a good RPer, Pat, but I still dislike Hellfighter. nuff said.

~Bob/Inferno

On a side note, how are people supposed to contact you if you don't have it in your posts? Mine are at the top of mine with the icons, but for you people that don't understand that, you can add me to AIM at USNBarton. Nuff said. Seriously, this time. :)
 
M

Mason and Tate

Guest
RE: Lasting comments??

Thanks, Patrick, for clearing that up. For all of you guys that don't have my AIM, it's pettingill420 and my MSN sn is pettingill_420@hotmail.com, and either Mikey Likes It! or Guitar Hero 2001 is the name that will pop up.

Mikey
 

Hell_Fighter

League Member
Joined
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RE: Odd

Sorry to confuse you Bob. I thought that you meant something that I got from JP...which he was in good right to say the things that he said to me. I just thought that you resaid what he may have said. Thanks for setting the record straight. No I was not offended by what you said. It makes sense. I just said that I am even more determined to make HellFighter work now more than ever, and this time I have a great gameplan to do it. So know that there is always a method to my madness. Also know that I have received everyone's comments and I am trying to put them all to use. Sorry for the debates and arguements that I have caused earlier in this thread, but I did think that I needed to clarify certain things about Hellfighter that everyone said because I felt I was doing those things, but like Dave said, if I did them, I wasn't very clear and precise about, which that will change the 2002 year of GXW. I must pay more attention to detail...even the smaller stuff.

But on that side note, you are right. I thought that I had my info to get ahold of me on the icons above, but I guess that is not very clear. So here it is again for everybody to see. If you want to talk to me one on one...man to man...then feel free to chat whenever you find it convenience for you.

pshutt@hotmail.com (MSN messenger is the same...yes I have that too)
ICQ: #110485987 sirRobinGoodFeather
AIM: shutt64024
yahoo messenger name: pshutt
pshutt@collegeclub.com
pshutt@yahoo.com


Is that enough Bob? Just checking. Okay that is enough from me, hope to talk to you all again later.

sincerely,
God Bless,
Patrick M. Shutt
 

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