Re: Price the poet
.: A look only described as shock mixed with disgust adorns the faces of both Landon Price and Razik El-Tazan. Grunts and groans fill the Crooked Smille MMA gym but it's obvious the sounds are not of a human source. Landon's face contorts as he pinches his nose with two fingers :.
Landon: "Well I hate to say it, but this may have been a mistake. I didn't know these things ate so much. And that smell..."
Razik: "I've heard of some crazy training techniques, but this one takes the cake Price."
Bugs: " You didn't know they eat a ****-ton? How about eating trainer's arms?? You didn't know that either you bumbling idiot! "
.: Bugs sits on a stool, his arm bandaged and iced. Not far from him sits a large steel cage containing an unusual training aid. A fully grown orangutan sits in the corner of the cage, covered in feces. Hanging from his mouth is a rather large piece of bugs' sleeve :.
Bugs: " What the hell were you thinking price!? I don't know why I let you talk me into this crap. Now I'ma hafta get a bunch of shots so I don't start foamin' at the mouth. "
Price: " Ohh gimme a break will ya. You've been foaming at the mouth for years. The dude on ebay said this fella was a heck of a grappler. If you can grapple with an orangutan, you can grapple with anyone!"
Bugs: "I coulda' brought in a brazillian, or even a wrestler or two. Who orders a damn primate!?"
Price: "Well sorry for trying something unorthodox. Have you seen my opponent? He's freakin' delusional! Creepo thinks he's some kind of angel of death or something. "
Bugs: " Callin' a man delusional and you're trying to spar with primates? That's like callin' the kettle black boy-o. "
.: The cage rattles suddenly and Bugs nearly leaps off his seat. The orangutang appears amused by the arguement and smiles deviously :.
Razik: "I thought my brother-in-law was weird but this ... thing ... puts him to shame. What do we do with it? "
Bugs: " Lemme grab my shotgun and we'll put two between it's beady little eyes!"
Price: " No way! C'mon, be rational. PETA would be all over us if we offed an innocent animal,"
Bugs: " He ain't innocent! The beast woulda' ripped my throat out if it got the chance. Besides, isn't that there Pamela Anderson a part of PETA? I wouldn't mind a bit of her all over me! Woooooo-ha!"
.: The orangutang slaps his hands together in approval :.
Price: " Well what do you know. Looks like the hairy bugger is a TnA kinda guy!"
Razik: "Hey bugs, the both of you smell alike and you've got the same taste in women. You should be the best of friends. "
Bugs: " Ha! Don't they execute comedians like you in Egyptizan or wherever the hell yer from?? I've had enough crap for one day. Get this gap-toothed **** machine outta my gym! And when yer done start lookin' over the tape of Liu Kuan I gave ya! "
.: Bugs pulls himself off the stool and mimics a punch at the steel cage. The orangutang screeches and flaps his tongue in retaliation as Bugs marches off towards his office :.
Price: " Well, back to square one I suppose. That's the last time I purchase zoo animals off the internet. "
Razik: " Let me guess, it wasn't the first time either? "
Price: " Well who hasn't ordered a parrot off ebay and named him crackers, then give him an eyepatch, then wear an eyepatch themselves and walk around town asking for booty while recieving several slaps to the face and one extremely painful kick to the groin which in turn leads to a most interesting visit to a doctor who also owns a parrot named crackers but neither of them wear an eyepatch which lead me to ask "where's your eyepatch?" *Taking a deep breath* BUT...I digress. You should probably give me the scouting report on this Liu kemia."
Razik: " You mean Liu Kuan."
Price: "What'd I say?"
Razik: " Liu Kemia."
Price: " Huh, how bout that! Hey, did I ever tell you about the parrot I had that was diagnosed with leukemia?"
Razik: *Shakes his head* "Yeah, his name was crackers, I got it. Anyway, this Liu Kuan is a karate expert much like yourself. He's 2-0, both by knockout so you might consider taking him to the ground and out of his element. "
Price: "C'mon Razik, have a little faith in the power of ninpo! I figure I'll stand and bang with him until he wilts like all those pretty little flowers he carries about with him. I mean, who the hell sits around twirling roses? Who does he think he is, Seal? "
Razik: " Well, he refers to himself as the 'grim reaper'. He seems to live up to the name in the cage. "
Price: " Last time I checked, the Grim Reaper was a boney bastard preying on old folks who break their hips and adrenaline junkies convinced they can survive a fall from a mountain top. I don't exactly fit the bill. I can't wait to rip this phoney's jaw off so my name never crosses his rotting lips again. "
.: Razik bangs his fists together with a grin and places his arm around 'The Prairie Samurai'. The two begin strolling towards the nearest heavy bag :.
Razik: " Now that's the intensity I've been waiting for! It's time to turn this camp up a notch."
Price: " Damn rights! Uhh...what do we do about my hairy friend in the cage? "
Razik: "Don't even think of it, I know a guy who's always looking to get his hands on some exotic animals."
Price: "Exotic huh? Hey, did I ever tell you about my exotic parrot? Heck, he even wore an eyepatch.... "
.: Razik can only roll his eyes in annoyance as Landon Price vigorously relives his parrot capers for the umpteenth time. A parrot known as crackers, sporting an eyepatch and suffering from leukemia... or so the story goes :.