Welcome to FWrestling.com!

You've come to the longest running fantasy wrestling website. Since 1994, we've been hosting top quality fantasy wrestling and e-wrestling content.

SEMI-FINALS IMPULSE VS JOEY MELTON

User Poets

The Shadow Pope
Joined
Jan 6, 1995
Messages
2,192
Points
36
Age
44
Location
Top of the Pile
Website
www.valeriansgarden.com
Inappropriate Age Jokes

(FADEIN...

On an old, battered copy of the CS Tribune. The cover shows Joey Melton, holding up the IntraContinental Championship belt.

Unfortunately, this is a scan of the cover, I don't have the actual article anymore: it was all about Joey being the longest reigning IC champion of all time.

Why am I scanning this? It's the first wrestling magazine I ever owned.

And...)

"Let's get this out of the way."

"When you won your first World Championship, I was just past my second birthday."

"I hope you feel comfortable with this match now, you're in a familiar place."

I'm glad I got that off my chest.

"Truth be told, in the Holy Trinity of Greensboro Elite, you were my favorite, Joey. You weren't the Greatest American Hero, winner of a hundred and fifty thousand championships and superhero galore who rose up to fight the good fight and get the victory just in the nick of time."

"You weren't the loyal sidekick of the Greatest American Hero, the flawed antihero whose talent was dwarfed only by his inferiority complex, capable of just as much acclaim if only he would let go of his jealousy."

I'm going somewhere with this, trust me.

"No, in a sea of Hornet and Mark Windham, I was always a fan of Arrogance, Joey Melton."

How can this be, you may ask. Isn't Impulse a goody two shoes boy scout? How can he be a fan of someone who bent the rules so far he nearly broke 'em off?

To those who would question, I say, 'Have some imagination, ya idiot.'

"Whether you were concerned with the World Title or not, Mr. Melton - you never outwardly showed it. Your only concern as far as I could tell was to go out, wrestle your guts out, turn in the best performance on the show, and go home. Sure, there was drama and posturing and the whole dog and pony show in and around what you did, but one thing you always did was give the fans their money's worth."

At least, you gave this fan his money's worth.

"I've taken a lot of that into my own career. I want the fans in every arena I wrestle in to leave after the final bell, knowing that I left everything I had in that ring. If I slay the dragon, win the World Title, and make the world safe for truth, justice, and apple pie - but the fans got up to get a beer while I was doing it, than I failed."

There was never an empty seat during your matches, Mr. Melton.

"I'm in a unique position in this tournament. The Prodigy Classic was filled with either veterans who were presumably past their prime, relying more on their smarts than their muscles, and relative newcomers who wanted to cut their teeth against the last real generation of trailblazers in this sport. While I'm one of the newcomers, I also have the veteran perspective due to my obsession with soaking up as much knowledge and history about this sport as I can handle."

"While another twenty five year old would know you as Mr. Lindsay Troy, or as the older half of the Cameron Cruise Project, I know you as the man who took the youngest UNIFIED Champion of all time to the limit; the man who stood without fear in the final cage of the FIREHOUSE; the man who banished Steven Flair from professional wrestling for sixty days."

Arrogance dictates that I say this is a dream match for me, but that it would be more significant if I could go back to when you were in your prime for this to happen.

Reality is a little different.

"Joey Melton in his prime? What would that be? 1988? 1990? 1995? 1997? Every year from 1999 to 2011?"

"Mr. Melton, your prime has been going strong for twenty five years."

"I'm not going to say I'm going to win."

"I'm not going to say I'm better than you."

Even if I believe both statements.

"All I'm going to say is that I'm currently in the prime of my career... and if you can give me even eighty percent of what you're capable of... this very well may be the greatest match in the history of professional wrestling."

And I don't say that lightly.

FADE
 

Steve

the EX-QUEEN of FW~!
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
916
Points
0
Location
Greensboro USA
(FADEIN: Melton in a hotel room sitting in a chair with one leg propped up on the bed. Adrian Evans stands beside Joey taping a giant bag of ice to Melton’s groin.)

MELTON: (sighs) Of all the wrestling moves in the whole world, why did it have to be the nuts…

EVANS: That was nothing, Joey. Face it, you’re not the man I knew ten years ago.

MELTON: It’s not the groin Adrian, it’s the mileage. (groan)

EVANS: It’s by an Act of God that thing hasn’t fallen off yet. That night in China eight years ago would’ve begroined a lesser man.

MELTON: You know, I did feel like I did some good work back there. I still don’t believe that woman got gonorrhea from riding a tractor. She had a past, she just didn’t want to admit to it.

EVANS: Of course she had a past you moron, she was a whore!

MELTON: If the swelling persists for eight hours am I supposed to call a doctor?

EVANS: Two years ago I could drop a cannon ball on your groin inside a steel cage and you’d shrug it off. Now, Achilles finally has a weakness.

MELTON: I think the fact that you DID drop a cannon ball on it may have started the chain of events that led me here…

EVANS: Hey! Those people were bored stiff. We needed something big to win them back.

MELTON: Anarky just proved when you have the Elder Wand everybody wants to take their shot…

EVANS: Really Joey? Really?

MELTON: Just start the video. I either need to go masturbate again or get in an ice bath.

EVANS: (Adrian grabs his cell phone and begins taking video) Sophia herself should have such a choice. In three, two….

(Melton winches, coughs and tries to appear as confident as he can.)

MELTON: Impulse…I don’t give a ****. Maybe that’s what I should’ve been signing on the cover of tribunes and headshots for the last twenty years. Maybe if I was upfront then, I could have saved hundreds of kids just like yourself who went out and bought something I was paid to sell and felt like they ‘got’ me.

They say there’s no accounting for good taste and maybe they’re right.

I was the best performer Merritt had, and has ever had to offer because my life choices to that point said I didn’t have any other options. I had no money next to my name, and there sure as hell wasn’t a college that’d look at my transcripts. They don’t put that on Tribunes, do they son? You don’t sell heroes and company men by advertising they barely made it out of high school. Life kicked the **** out of Joey Melton when he was younger, more than I’ll ever say, and I had to learn to hustle and fight to stay alive. But there have been hundreds of songs written about the mean streets of New York and what people have done to get off them. I’m no different. I did my share of character murders. Joey Melton’s no Saint, and I never let Merritt sell me as one.

So Hornet, the law student, the body, the ****ing charisma rolling off like sweat…if he wanted the Golden Ticket, it all fit for him to take it and I never looked back, because you can’t. I never worried about what another man was getting. I learned from an early age you only worry about your own.

People just have always seemed to believe what I say, kid. That works like magic with women, sans one… and it’s either made men want to follow my lead or bury me under stone. Showmanship let me survive. I loved every minute of it. I loved leaving the crowd never knowing what I’d do next. I loved outworking the guy in front of me, because so many have **** given to them they don’t know what to expect when the lemons no longer turn themselves into lemonade.

I’m a self made man, Impulse. What I’ve made myself into made it harder to get up some days, but I’m here…I’m breathing…I’m still selling. And while I performed for everyone in the stands, or at home watching, what I gained was solely for my own benefit.

I work alone, I always have. Merritt hated it. He hated that I’d decide who I pushed with me. He hated I came with no strings attached. And maybe I left millions on the table, but I know there are hundreds of puppets today on the shelves, and I know a show for me is and always will be just a phone call away.

The CSWA is Hornet’s legacy. It sure as hell ain’t mine. I respect the man for what he’s done, and he’s one of my better friends but his back is broke from the extra weight.

So if you’re gonna talk about primes and throw out dated issues of a dead publication, understand, Joey Melton’s never looked back.

I had hoped I’d have found something else in my life by now, but I’m enslaved to this stage. If I can still sell merchandise, wonderful. But really, Cameron Cruise has proven he can go door to door as well.

What does it all mean Impulse?

It means I’m not the Greatest American Hero.

And maybe I’m not more exciting than Jesus.

I’ve never sat back and thought of ways to package myself.

For over twenty years just the name has been enough.

I’m Joey Melton.

Please, try to keep up.

(FADEOUT)
 

Steve

the EX-QUEEN of FW~!
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
916
Points
0
Location
Greensboro USA
(FADEIN: Joey Melton in front of a black backdrop.)

MELTON
: Impulse what bothers me is you got into this business, inspired by the likes of Cameron Cruise and Dan Ryan, and Lindsay Troy. You may have unearthed a Tribune, or stood in line years ago, legs crossed so you didn’t wet yourself, in order to get my autograph, but you were no doubt inspired by lesser men to become what you are today.

That’s why I don’t respect you, kid. Not because you were once part of the great unwashed, but because you’re the kid who never heard the Beatles, but you know “Get Back” from some half-assed garage band cover at a club.

You were there when Lindsay Troy scaled new heights and became the first female to really rule this industry. You watched the Troy Windham reality show before it jumped the shark. And you’re the idiot on the internet defending Cameron Cruise.

“Guys, he’s relevant. And he’s a hard worker!”

So let’s not act like because you dug up a time capsule you understand the period. You don’t know Joey Melton. You don’t understand Joey Melton, and you’ll never be what I was and am to this industry!

Maybe…maybe I’ll admit I look at you and want to vomit because what you said was true. At this point in my career…I am Mr. Lindsay Troy. Or the other half of the Cameron Cruise Project. I would have laughed it off a year ago, but I picked up the phone recently and called Dan Ryan and asked him for a 90 day contract…and he told me...

“Joey if Cameron is cool with it, you’ll be given every opportunity together. I think it’d work again.”

So I waited for a week to hear back and I got nothin’ but a cricket ringtone.

“Dan this is Joey…I’m ready to sign.”

Days later.

“Melton…Cruise doesn’t want to do it. He doesn’t think he can get you over, today.”

Today.

Has the ****ing wrestling world changed that much? Is this bizarro EPW? The whole world watched me carry that sad sack to nose bleed heights…but now, as he’s cashing in, he doesn’t think the world’s ready for Joey Melton again…

I didn’t give a **** that you feigned to be a fan because I’ve had so many people just you like rub up against me like a lonely cat only to shut every door behind them as they left.

I gave Dan Ryan some of the best PPV buyrates he’s ever had, but now I come with strings attached.

I paved the trail for Troy Windham, but he’ll never admit to it.

I helped take Lindsay Troy as her career was stalling, and gave her the confidence and skill set she needed to slay not just men…but Giants.

And I walked beside Cameron Cruise as we became the greatest tag team in the last ten years and now, today, find out the Cameron Cruise Project has been turned in, that there’s no tomorrow.

So I understand where fandom, respect, and admiration gets you in this business! If I’m supposed to pat you on the back or sign headshots for you, I apologize kid. I have no interest in looking back or taking on extra weight again, because for the first time in my life I’m not just fighting the man across the ring…every day, every week, every show Joey Melton must face Father Time as well.

I understand one day I won’t be here. One day the knees will hurt too bad. The mind may be willing, but the back won’t. I realize there’s more moonlight in my career ahead than sun, but I’m at peace with that because I have always known something that Hornet, Michael Manson, Dan Ryan, Troy Windham, and so many others haven’t…that it’s not the wins that define your career…its how you get up.

Nobody ever made a joke out of the slogan, “Melton wins!”

I’ve never shot lightning out of my fingertips or raised zombies from Cruise or Jean’s career. No, kid, I’m afraid I’ve never been indestructible. I’ve failed to get off the mat in three seconds hundreds of times. But it’s never been an issue for me.

Once you know your limits, once you understand how this business really works Impulse…there’s nothing much else to it. I didn’t have to have the big title around my waist like Golem worshipped his ring. The only thing Joey Melton concerned himself was the show.

I realized there’d be a tomorrow. And unlike so many others who faded away, if need be I did what I had to do to find the next show.

Look at Troy Windham walking with a limp, the knuckles on one hand mangled to ****…

Randalls…unsure of where he fits today.

Hornet scared of coming back and getting into to the same addictive habits he once did before…

GUNS being served his balls on a silver plate…

I’ve seen the biggest and best.

I’ve faced every type of man there is.

And I’m still here.

I’ve seen men dropped off scaffolds and have their knees bolt in three different directions to end their career.

I had a friend I came in with all those years ago, die on 9/11.

This business isn’t about making friends Impulse. Its not a gentlemen’s club.

It’s survival of the fittest and so many of the best men have been eaten alive that it barely registers anymore.

Maybe you are different.

Maybe you’re the future and will lead this business ten years from now.

But it’s just as likely you’ll be dead or a trainer at a local gym as well.

So, no I don’t sport wood when some punk says “Joey I was a big fan!”

I just feel pity because you haven’t figured out what this business really mans yet. Maybe you will Impulse. I can’t even say I’m rooting against you, but I don’t have the time left to lead you by the hand and explain the birds and bees as they are…because while I’ve survived High Noon myself…I’ve been close to being a tragic tale. But here I stand…for the first time I know it’s not always about tomorrow.

Father Time will do what the Lions of this business couldn’t do for over twenty years, and that’s finish Joey Melton.

But for today Impulse…

I feel damn good.

You understand little and I’m afraid you don’t have the credit or coins to play another round of this game. This is my legacy we're writing.

I have few more chapters to be sure.

Whether I get to embarrass the Mindfreak or the greatest this sport has ever known means **** to me.

I will win this tournament.

And when I do I’ll call Dan Ryan and Cameron Cruise and tell’em they can go **** themselves.

I’m still here. And if anybody has forgotten just how great I can be…

My heart breaks.
 

User Poets

The Shadow Pope
Joined
Jan 6, 1995
Messages
2,192
Points
36
Age
44
Location
Top of the Pile
Website
www.valeriansgarden.com
Tabula Rasa

"Well, that was fun."

(FADEIN...

NFW banner.

Representing home.

Me, in front of it.

No frills or extras.

Go.)

"It's a rare talent, Joey, where you can completely miss the point of what I was saying."

"Then completely miss the same point a second time."

It's a little bit like Waiting for Godot. Nothing happens, then intermission, then nothing happens.

No, it's exactly like it.

"But I congratulate you, Joey - you've made the one thousandth reference to Cameron Cruise since this tournament of sixteen began."

For a man that people always use as an example of 'Terrible? At least I'm not as bad at (insert name of activity here) as Cameron Cruise, he's certainly on the tip of everyone's tongue.

Also, eeew.

"You paved the way for Troy Windham, only to be paid back via teabagging, and then Cameron Cruise chased him out of A1 because he was inferior."

It's the Circle of Life.

"You're as relevant as your work shows, Joey. If you're happy being Mr. Troy or carrying Cameron's bags, then be happy with it. But to give the two of them the boosts you said you gave them, raising them up at your own expense, don't be surprised when you end up tied to their legacies."

Like I already said, you were always the best at this.

"The irony of this match, Joey, is that you don't have to teach me anything."

"I win? Cool. I'm already really good at this, and a win over Joey Melton means a great deal, no matter who would disagree."

Because you're old and your penis doesn't work. Or something.

"I lose? Cool. You're Joey Melton. Like I already said, you're in the midst of a twenty five year long prime of your career, and I don't lose anything in the process."

"But I'd greatly appreciate it if you stopped talking at me like this is the old guard against the new, like you're the aged immortal against the feisty young upstart looking to make a name at the expense of yours."

"That was old and played out when you were the feisty young upstart."

"Here's the thing, Joey. I don't have a particular need to beat you. I don't have an underlying drive or desire to overcome the Goliath of Joey Melton except for my own ego, which never tortures me after losing a battle. Heck, there isn't even anything I can learn from you as it relates to this match."

Anything you could've taught me I already learned the practical applications years ago from someone you're very familiar with. Also, Miss Ivy thinks you should stop bringing her up every time you want to make a poop joke.

"What you should be doing instead of dissecting the path I took to enter this sport and to make it to the semis of the Prodigy Classic, is perhaps work on your wrestling. Work on your speed and stamina and imagination, because the only way you can actually get to the finals is by outdoing me on all three fronts."

"And that's a pretty darn hard thing to do."

"Instead of dissecting the path I took to get here with your own spin on history, maybe you should stop talking and listen for a change?"

Because not only do I know who the Beatles are, but you're coming off even more like Old Man River by complaining about how kids today don't understand what we had to go through.

So I'll talk slowly so it can download more easily to your 14.4 modem.

"I said you were my favorite of the Greensboro Trio. That doesn't mean you had anything to do with my decision to enter this business. That doesn't mean I ever looked at you as anything but a stellar match, every time you wrestled."

"What this is, Joey, is an ice cold dose of reality that I hope will make you realize that, as big as your ego is, this is not about you."

"Your first step toward making a real name for yourself was due to Ray Cornette bungling one of your bookings. Mine was donning a mask to make sure nobody knew who I was - more specifically so nobody knew where I learned my chops - and spending two hours without a time out making forty five thousand in Big Sur, CA, remember my name amidst the drug induced haze of the New Frontier, three years ago."

"While you call yourself a self - made man as if you're the first to attempt it, there are others of us who have also built our name on our own sweat and stubborn natures. While I'm sure you can't see it through your myopic hindsight, the fact that I can look in the mirror and know I never had anything handed to me."

"Naturally, you see the wrestling business in a different light. You see pre-Melton and post-Melton. And while I can't even fake dismissing your career as anything but legendary, it has never had any bearing on mine."

I smell burning, is that your brain trying to shift gears without a clutch?

"The only thing we have in common is our unwavering obsession with being the best."

And you like to drink tea.

"I'm currently on deck for a title shot in both the Empire and the New Frontier, the two greatest promotions running shows today."

"My victories have included legends such as Dan Ryan and Jack 'High Flyer' Harmen."

"I'm one of four men in the Prodigy Classic semi finals, which means my name is seen alongside Hornet, Mike Manson, and Joey Melton."

"And I did it all without a single helping hand."

Can you honestly say the same, mister self - made man?

Don't forget, I'm friends with everyone who knows all your skeletons.

"I think, what you're really afraid of is when your time finally is up... that you really will be forgotten by fall but the most die - hard of wrestling purists. I think, what you're really afraid of is that your time really is up right now, and you've just been waiting for someone with the skills to show it's true."

"When you tell me that I'll never be what you were and what you are to this industry, I think you're just afraid that I already am."

"Have I accomplished, in three years, what it took you twenty five to do? Of course not. But when you look at me, do you see the Joey Melton that could've been - focused on wrestling instead of showmanship, so that when the fans tire of the same old show, there's more options than to be stuck in a tag team for a decade before finding career rejuvination?"

As Mr. Lindsay Troy, or Mrs. Cameron Cruise?

"On one hand you're telling me that the next match is just a phone call away, and on the other, you're telling me Dan Ryan doesn't want you."

Which is it?

"For a wrestler... there's no choice. For a wrestler... if one of the top two promotions in the world didn't want me, I'd go where I was wanted and show the industry all over again that I was the best that the industry ever produced. I'd start at the bottom and become champion after champion after champion, and make so much noise that none of the players in this industry would be able to overlook me again."

What I wouldn't do is hold out until a tournament celebrating your era shows up, just because the Empire didn't want me.

Drama queen, what?

"I've beaten a lot of people in my short career, Joey, and I've been beaten a lot just the same. But it's always been on the path to something greater."

Brock Alyas pinned me soundly and cleanly in my first officially televised match. Where is he now?

"Whether you beat me, get knocked out, find yourself submerged in a trash can full of water, or seranade my girlfriend on the way to the ring, I'm still a fan of Joey Melton."

"I just hope you realize that this is going to be the hardest match you've had in years."

FADE
 

About FWrestling

FWrestling.com was founded in 1994 to promote a community of fantasy wrestling fans and leagues. Since then, we've hosted dozens of leagues and special events, and thousands of users. Come join and prove you're "Even Better Than The Real Thing."

Add Your League

If you want to help grow the community of fantasy wrestling creators, consider hosting your league here on FW. You gain access to message boards, Discord, your own web space and the ability to post pages here on FW. To discuss, message "Chad" here on FW Central.

What Is FW?

Take a look at some old articles that are still relevant regarding what fantasy wrestling is and where it came from.
  • Link: "What is FW?"
  • Top