(FADE IN: on the RED LINE WRESTLING green screen, showing comic book like footage of a CHICAGO alleyway. Standing before it, wearing a baby blue Batman t-shirt over a black long sleeve and black skinny leg jeans is a young, handsome man with a head full of blond curls girls would gush over. He beams a wide, proud smile.)
UNKNOWN:
“Red Line Wrestling. This world needs a hero. A hero to stand out amongst the crowd in light of hope, honour and righteousness. A dude that stands to kick butt for good.
“I'm all about kickin’ butt for good.”
(Grin.)
UNKNOWN:
“My name is Charlie Williams. I am the Blue Demon. I am here in Red Line Wrestling to stand up for the little dude. For my peeps. It'll be all-“ (shadow boxes) “Wham! Bam! Kapow! to the unrighteous jerkfaces that will dark the light of good.”
(CHARLIE points down the barrel of the camera as the green screen changes to images of Hellfire and brimstone.)
BLUE DEMON:
“FAFNIR… I'm gonna-“ (giggle spurt) “FAFNIR, when we-“ (snort) “FAFNIR, I'm loo-“
(He bursts into a full belly laugh, doubling over and wiping tears from his eyes. He stands, sucking wind to calm himself, holding his hands palms out to calm.)
BLUE DEMON:
“I'm sorry, but FAFNIR? Really? Like, that sounds like another word for a shart. Y’know? Like you FAF’ed and NIR mussed your breaches, dude. I can't take that name seriously. So, I'll call you…” (taps mouth with his finger) “…Shart Man! Hahaha! That's it! SHART MAN!”
(He turns around, grabbing an ass cheek with each hand and moves them apart with each word like his ass was talking Ace Ventura style.)
BLUE DEMON: (from his ass)
“Hello. I'm Shart Man. And I'm gonna CRAP all over you, Blue Demon.”
(THE BLUE DEMON spins, dramatically, landing in a superhero pose with his hands on his hips and chest puffed.)
BLUE DEMON:
“So, we finally meet, Shart Man. I've been expecting our battle and it will be one for the ages!” (fist pump) “Your evil ways have gone on long enough. The skid marks in the undies. The hurried rush from the conference room to the toilets. You wicked ways have seen no end.
“Until now.
“When we collide I will wipe you up and flush you away! The only lasting reminder of your horrid history will be the foul pong of your essence lingering. Lingering as a reminder for all other evil doers that their time before the swift hand of my justice is imminent. And I will dispatch you to which you came from.”
(He nods slowly, grinning proudly, eyes bugging.)
BLUE DEMON:
“Our battle shall be epic. And the people shall be entertained with our gladiatorial display of manliness. They shall turn their thumbs down when I ask them to take kindness on your soul. For justice takes no prisoners, Shart Man.
“And neither does the Blue Demon.”
(He begins to laugh, breaking the superhero character. Slapping his thigh.)
BLUE DEMON:
“Oh, dude! This IS gonna be SWEET! And I'm super proud to be wrestling in Chicago, my home town. I'm super stoked to be wrestling at De Paul, my college. And I'm super chuffed my Dad’ll be in the wings watchin’ me.
“I'm real tight with my Dad. He's my hero. And I'm going to do him proud. He's always let me be who I want to be and never asked a question. He's just supported me. He's a true humanitarian in that way. Let the people be what they wanna be.”
(His face goes blank and mouth slowly gapes, eyes wide.)
BLUE DEMON:
“Whoooaaaa! That’s DEEP! FA REELZ!” (slaps forehead) “Psshht! Who knew I had such wisdom lurkin’ up and about in the ol’ think tank.
“So, to Red Line Wrestling, thank you for this opportunity. I'm totally not gonna let you down. It's pure rad. So thanks!
“Chicago, thank you for housing this amazing company. You won't be disappointed! Especially when the Blue Demon defeats Shart Man.
“And Dad, thank you for being you and letting me be me. I'm gonna do you proud. You'll see.”
(Pounds his heart with a fist and gives a peace sign to the camera as we…)
(FADE to BLACK!)
