"hashtag LOLCOUS, amirite??"
(A luchador stands before an RLW backdrop, with a weird-as-hell and truly unique mask: a whole book appears SMASHED into the forehead, with "blood" trickling down his face. He has a smartphone out and is actively typing as he speaks, hardly breaking his gaze from the screen.)
BOOKFACE: "Haven't you heard, LOLcous? I'm the biggest social phenome-NOM-NOM-NOM since your MOTHER'S GAPING GAPE-HOLE! Hashtag sickburn, hashtag BETTERUSEBURNHEAL. We've been in the same Google Plus circles LOLcous, and I'm ashamed to say I've seen you even WIN in a wrestling ring. How sad for your hashtag-LOSER opponents! LOL! Like OMG, LOLcous - let's be real for a sec. Hashtag realtalk. Do you think you have a chance against me with your hashtag restingbitchface, or your hashtag fail life skillz? For realz??
Lolcous, I'm filled with hashtag TigerBlood and hashtag AdonisDNA. How could a guy like you POSSIBLY STAND A CHANCE against a guy like me?? Hashtag, winning. For the win. Eff tee dub.
Look at that - I'm already trending locally!"
(FTB)