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Southern Thunder vs. Major Impact

JonMayhew71

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Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
53
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0
Location
Statesville United States
The Game is Afoot!

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-14-03 AT 07:40 PM (EST)]ANNCR: And now, a few words from The General......

Now I'm not going to lie to you. Things have been pretty rough for Major Impact as of late in GLCW. We've had our share of victories...and losses....at the hands of some pretty good competition. We've totally destroyed The Oak Street Beach Patrol to the point that it bores Jon and Ric to no end to wrestle them. They're a good tune-up tag team and a way for MI to keep their ring skills fresh.....

However, there's a certain point and time where being preliminary gets to be old. There's a certain time where the killer instinct needs to kick in to the point where people start getting hurt and hurt bad. That time is now for Major Impact.

Southern Thunder, we don't know anything about you. You're getting your first shot here in GLCW as newcomers. Masks? This will be the first time in GLCW history, Black Heart and Cow Patty, that all participants in a match will be wearing masks, and the powers that be feel we're a good test....for....you. Let me point out that it is a test you will ultimately fail beacuse while your two lone-star lummoxes, we are a growing force to be reckeoned with. Major Impact is destined to become GLCW tag team champions in the future. Everyone in the territory can see that except....the....powers....that....be. It's not their fault, really, that they can't see past the nose on their face. They've had to watch as time and again, Major Impact has toyed with their opponents. Sometimes we've toyed with our opponents to the point where it's cost us a...victory.

The time for playing around has ended, and everyone in GLCW will see what we're talking about when we step into the ring with you. I or MI can't be responsible for what will happen to you during the match, except to say that you'll both be carried from the ring on stretchers while we're standing tall in the center of the ring.

I applaud you guys for choosing Great Lakes Championship Wrestling as the place to cut your teeth. Everyone needs a starting point. It's unfortunate, though, that this will be your ending point as well. Since you boys are from Texas, I bet you enjoy a good campfire at the end of a long day of rustling cattle. Yeah, sitting by the fire....the hot, blazing fire. Remember that feeling, because the hell you are about to experience will be hotter than anything you've ever seen before. We see the bullseyes that are painted on your chests and we're taking aim for what will be a "direct hit" for us.

As you've probably already noticed, there's no flashy interview set behind me. Major Impact is taking a little break from their rigorous training schedule so they're not here either. It's just me, The General, and the cameraman, and the camera. Southern Thunder, your career in GLCW will be memorable, albeit short lived, because Major Impact is going to do to you what we've should've donw with the Krymson Dragons and The Dogs of War in the first place....defeated them! We toyed with them, and with OSBP....yet the last time we met OSBP we annihilated them quickly so we could move on. Yet that wasn't good enough for the GLCW brass to recognize us to receive a tag-team title shot so they put us with a rookie tag-team......That's just fine.....for us. That's also good for the doctor you'll need to tell you how many of your bones we snapped like twigs. That's also good for your family to know how to take care of two invalid idiots. plus, your plastic surgeon will know how to try to put you back together, while your physical therapist will try to teach you how to walk. I hope I'm painting a clear picture for you boys. It's a picture of bad health....your bad health!

See, when we beat you....and please understand we will beat you.....we're not just going to hurt you bad enough to get the victory. No, the time for that is past. We're going to cripple you....we're going to break bones....we're going to make you feel pain and frustration that'll make hell seem like a resort vacation. Then, after your limp, lifeless bodies are lying in the ring, we're going to show you that choosing GLCW was a mistake! Your fledgling careers....your youthful reputations....hell, your lives are on the line. And we, Major Impact, will be your first....only....and last memory. One you can look back on as the attending nurse in the hospital we're going to put you in is feeding you soft foods because your entire body is crippled from head to toe. Southern Thunder, your future is going to come to a close in Wisconsin Dels when you meet defeat.....and your defeat is spelled "M A J O R I M P A C T."

(Cut to a promo for glcw.com)
 
D

Dusty

Guest
WaterHeads in Water World

(Scene starts on some rain soakened road as a Thunder storm roars thru the night.As lightning flashes across the sky the lights in the neighboring store windows the lights flicker then suddenly goes off. The wind whips the rain across the lonely road as storm gutters overflow from all the downpour. Suddenly down the road a sparkle is seen from far off.Again it is seen but this time a little closer. From the direction of the sparkle we start to see two silhouettes slowly comes into view. As the silhouettes gets closer it looks like something from out of an old western movie. Two men in cowboy hats and long black dusters come slowly walking up the street.Again the sparkle is seen and now we see it is coming from a huge belt buckle on the bigger of the two cowboys. As they get even closer we see these two men are not like the cowboys of old. These men are wearing mask. Wrestling Mask in fact. One is silver trimmed in blue and the other is blue trimmed in silver. Each man is carrying bull ropes in their left hands. As they get within 20 feet of the camera they stop and the smaller of the two tips back his hat just a little.)

Black Heart: Finally the day has come. Finally the team of Southern Thunder has recieved a match in GLCW.

(The bigger cowboy with the blue mask trimmed in silver tips his hat back a little and speaks.)

Thunderbolt:Unfortunely this match will not be seem on television from Wisconsin Dells at the Tommy Bartletts Water World. Oh no.They have seen fit to book to newcomers to GLCW in what they call a dark match, but none the less. They have booked us.

Black Heart: That's right! Southern Thunder will be in one of the first matches of the summer evening against a team called Major Impact. (laughs under his breath) Now we don't know much about this team called Major Impact but I have to tell you. We have seen their promo and it did not leave an impact on me. In fact I feel a little sorry for these guys.When we were told of the event taking place at Water World I could get the connection, but after hearing this team called Major Impact we understood the connection. Right T-Bolt?

ThunderBolt: That's right because like my brother here said, after hearing this team called Major Impact we came to the conclusion they are Water Heads!

Black Heart: That has to be it! I mean just listen to them talk. They are clearly suffering from pressure on the brain because they are talking as if they already have us beat. Listen here you brain dead losers!

ThunderBolt: Hey brother hows does he do that?

Black Heart: Hows does who do what?

ThunderBolt: The General, he has two puppets and they talk but I can't see his lips move.

Black Heart: (laughs) Well I'm sure he has his arms up their bootie T-Bolt but I don't think they're puppets. But when we get done with them, they might just end up rag dolls! Now General, I don't know where you found these guys but you better send them back to school. I mean come on man.....(talking like them) "We spell defeat Majorimpact" (laughs) Well boys tell me how you spell this! We are going to put de feet up your de a*s! My god man, "we are going to break you like twigs" Well boys you better stick with breaking twigs cause they can't fight back! You know T-Bolt, after thinking about it there is another reason this event is being held at Water World.

T-Bolt: What's that?

Black Heart: Cause these boys are all washed up. They did say they have been having a hard time of it.

T-Bolt: Well I got news for them. Their hard times are just beginning. I have been waiting a long time for this and they are not going to be slowing down the path we're on.

Black Heart: You got that right! Major Impact, saddle up boys cause you're about to go on the ride of your life. And boys, the ride for you will be right back down to the bottom my friends! There's no stopping the storm. Your best hope is for survivial!

(The two cowboyS walk away into the rain. FTB)
 
D

Dusty

Guest
GLCW?

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-22-03 AT 08:18 PM (EST)](Inside the elite Manador Restaurant just outside the Wisconsin Dells we find the two big Texans, Black Heart and Thunderbolt sitting at a table waiting on their food to come.)

Thunderbolt: Hey little brother, what was that you ordered?

Black Heart: It was a T-bone steak covered in onion and cheese.

Thunder: Cheese?

Black Heart: Yea, they put cheese on everything here in Wisconsin. Go figure. You know what T-Bolt, when I was ordering it and they told me it came with cheese it made me think of the Major Impacts last promo. That had to be the cheesiest promo I have seem in a long time.

Thunderbolt: I know what you mean. (Laughs) When that General fellow said, "Is every sibling tag team from Texas flaming.... or is it just me" I like to have fallen out of my chair. I mean we ain't flaming so I guess yes, it is just the General who is flaming then! Don't think I have ever heard a man come out of the closet like that before.

Black Heart: That would explain why they were hanging around the rear end of a horse watching him take a crap.

Thunderbolt: Hey, I just remembered something else that General dude said. Didn't he say that the GLCW has been screwing them ever since they got there?(makes a weird face) Hey brother I'm starting to get a real bad feeling here.

(Thunderbolt starts shaking his whole body and then stops.)

Black Heart: What's wrong... are you ok?

Thunderbolt: Little brother I think we make a bad mistake coming to this GLCW.

Black Heart: Why do say that?

Thunderbolt: Well if the General dude is gay,....the people running the place is screwing them.....put two and two together bro,..We have joined a gay wrestling federation!!!! Oh my lord!

Black Heart: Calm down just calm down! Your making an a*s out of yourself! Here comes our food,....Let's just eat and let me think a minute.

(The waiter sets their plates down on their table and turn to look at Thunderbolt. With a feminine voice the waiter ask.)

Waiter: Can I get you gentlemen any condiments?

(Thunderbolt jumps up and grabs the waiter around the throat and Black Heart quickly stops him from choking the waiter to death. The waiter runs off as Black Heart looks over at Thunderbolt.)

Black Heart: Man what the heck is wrong with you?

Thunderbolt: Brother we got to get out of here right now!

Black Heart: Why?

Thunderbolt: Didn’t you hear what that guy said… For Gods sake man he asked us if we wanted any condom mints! Is everybody around here gay! Dear brother please lets get out of here now before we turn into funny guys too!

Black Heart: Ok…. calm down,…. we will go.

(Black Heart pulls out his wallet and throws a hundred dollar bill on the table and the two big Texans start to walk out. As they are about to go out the door Thunderbolt stops Black Heart and looks at him.)

Thunderbolt: Brother, I know where we went wrong.

Black Heart: Where’s that?

Thunderbolt: Them Major Impact boys are gay and we didn’t join the Greater Lake Championship Wrestling, we are in the Gay Lovers Coming to Wrestle federation! Well I don’t know about you but I’m going home and looking over my contract to see if I can get out of this mess.

(Black Heart looks at Thunderbolt and shakes his head in discuss. As the two men get outside the restaurant both men start to laugh and Thunderbolt looks over at Black Heart.)

Thunderbolt: Did you see the GLCW Cameraman?

Black Heart: Oh yeah, I knew what you were doing. Good job Big Brother.

Thunderbolt: I thought so myself. If they want us to play the dumb Texan role fine, I love playing around every now and then. But come time to get in the ring with these boys at Water World, there is be no more playing.

Black Heart: And they better be doing a whole lot of praying. Now lets go get some real food brother!

Thunderbolt: Talks in a feminine voice) Would you like some condom mints with that?

(Both men laugh hard and starts to walk away as the camera fades to black)
 

JonMayhew71

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
53
Points
0
Location
Statesville United States
RE: WaterHeads in Water World

The camera fades into a horse farm on the outskirts of Louisville, Kentucky. The General and Major Impact are walking along a fence line, occasionally watching the horses run by....

JON SAVAGE (JS): What the heck are we doin' here, boss???

THE GENERAL (TG): Well, we're here to get an idea of how this Southern thing works. I mean, we're in another dark match with Southern Thunder....

JS: Who are they again???

TG: A couple of Texas-sized cow patties that think they wanna be "rasslers" so they decided to come to GLCW. I pity those two fools.....

JS: So do I....

TG: See boys, it's like this. Major Impact is an angry, angry tag team. We've been screwed by the GLCW front office....again in an attempt to try to make us frustrated. Well, front office, it hasn't worked. See, Major Impact is the type of team that's just like a Timex watch. We can take a lickin' and keep on tickin....

Now the brass of GLCW sees fit to put us up against two shower buddies who I'm sure would just love to ram something down our throats, if we'd let em. Haven't you two Texas cowpies seen what we did with The Oak Street beach Patrol???

JS: HOOT HOOT HOOT!!!!

TG: For God's sakes, Jon, your scaring the horses....

JS: Sorry....

TG: Yeah, we ran their pansy a$$e$ outta here on a rail. We were even able to ensure they would never....ever come back to GLCW. Now we've done that and you think our reward would be a tag team title shot? Well NNNNOO0OO.....it's against you two lone star losers. Tell me something. Is every sibling tag team from Texas flaming....or is it just me....

(All 3 start laughing)

RIC SAVAGE: (RS) Hey, boss. Look at that horse....

Camera pans around to a horse that has galloped to the trio. The horse turns around, tail pointing to the camera, and starts taking a dump right there in front of the 3some. Their faces become twisted in signs of disgust.....

JS: (covering his mouth) Holy crap, boss. What was that....

(At this point, the general pauses, removes his hand from over his mouth, and calmly answers Jon Savage)

TG: That's what we're gonna beat outta Southern "Shower Buddies" when we get' em in the ring. C'mon guys, let's get outta here. It smells foul.....
 

JonMayhew71

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
53
Points
0
Location
Statesville United States
RE: GLCW?

Camera fades into the GLCW interview set, where we see the dapper Rick Wiseman standing with a microphone. The floor producer points to him, and as a joke at first, Wiseman points back. Then the floor producer yells "you're on," and Wiseman begins.....

RW: Ladies and Gentlemen, it's a short time away from Wisconsin Dells, and it seems that a dark match featuring the new tag-team Southern Thunder facing the veterans Major Impact is raising eyebrows all over the fantasy wrestling world. I'd like to bring in The General and the tag team......

TG: (facing Wiseman and raising his voice) WHO????

RW: (nervous) I mean....uh....the future World Tag Team Champions in GLCW, Major Impact.

TG: That's better.

(The General grabs the mic from Rick Wiseman and shoves him off to the side....)

TG: It seems that Southern Thunder has written checks with their mouths that their a$$es can't cash. It's one thing to call us names and exhibit other second grade behaviors in front of a camera. But when you question an entire organization like GLCW that's been around forever, well, friend, that's a whole other can of worms.....

The only reason that Malec and his puppets in the front office even gave you an opportunity was because they knew we wanted fresh meat.....

JS: Uh, boss, don't say "fresh meat...."

TG: (irritated) Then what do I say....???

JS: How about...."fresh blood...."

TG: OK. The only reason that Malec and his puppets in the front office even gave you an opportunity was because they knew we wanted fresh blood. I get the impression that the puppetmaster, our fine president Scott Malec, wants to see more death and destruction before giving us the tag team title match we so richly deserve. And somehow he has convinced Cow Patty and Goat Lover that they're going to somehow beat Major Impact.

Gentlemen, surely you don't have your brains firmly planted in your butt. You must know that you don't stand a chance against Major Impact. We've already shaken up the tag team title scene so bad that Malec might as well just hand us the belts. But first....(sighs).....we've got to obliterate you two bunkhouse buddies in a dark match in front of an arena full of people.

Our work will be easy....your pain, though, will be forever. And you'll feel it from head to toe.....

JS: (interrupting) Uh boss, maybe you shouldn't say that.....

TG: (irritated) Say what?

JS: "Pain from heat to toe...."

TG: Are you worried about the gay connitation? Haven't you two goons been listening to anything I've said in the last few moments? Don't worry about it. We know that we're not gay....it's Southern Thunder that we're worried about. I mean, shaking in chairs and asking for condom mints? Purely second grade humor. All we're going to do is go out there and kick their collective butts back to Texass where they belong. Let's go, we've got training to do......
 

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