John Doe
The Anorexic Ethiopian
"Beep…Beep….Beep
...
..
…ba-beep, ba-beep, le beep.
…..
..
.
BEEP BEEP BEEP….
THERE WAS AN AWFUL LOUD FORKLIFT BACKING UP DURING YOUR PROMO SHOOT JIMMY!!!!!!!!!"
(Fade in. Raucous on a forward facing camera on some sort of mobile device, he is standing in some kind of secluded room. Mask on, per normal.)
"Now, when they said there was budget restrictions I simply shrugged my shoulders. I got a cell phone, I don’t need a cameraman. In fact…I have two cell phones…and no that’s not a joke, Jimmy, I actually got two!
But really…REALLY…really…you have a potty mouth. One that needs a little flushin’, a little floss…
AND A LOT OF SOAP!!!!!!
You want to talk about how you’re a big giant threat; you are as well-known as Todd Killings over there. How can you envy a person you are on the same level with?
Coooooommmeeeee OOOONNNNNN.
You don’t really….actually…believe you are that much better?
Well maybe you do…you keep calling yourself the main event…and we aren’t even the Main Event….
We aren’t even the pre-Main Event…
Jimmy…we aren’t even the Pre-pre-Main Event….
How can you be something you aren't even in!?"
(He turns his head facing the right)
"…Sir…we are locked on…."
(Fast twist to face left)
"FIRE"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(HEAD RIGHT!)
"Confirmed hit!"
(Finally, for the last time, left)
"Report to all sections…Ego has been shot down...Good job men."
(He looks down completely then back up)
"Do I look like a peasant to you? Pan handling?
Please sir…more pudding…I BEG YOU…please more pudding and don’t plow my butthole!
And you are like…
If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!
HOW CAN YOU HAVE MORE PUDDING, IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR MEAT!?!"
(He starts to fake cry hands covering his mask)
"….I just want some Tapioca…."
(Raucous lets out a wail of the banshees)
"But no! Here is Mr. Jimmy Hendrix, the biggest threat EVER in my career.
My two match career!
Well, I would certainly hope you are threat…as is everyone else.
I mean…really…Jimmy. Everyone is a big threat when you wrestle them….DERP-A DERP-A JIMMY NOT SO SMART-A.
Eh…That didn’t rhyme like I hoped for."
(Raucous shake the camera)
"WHAT I DON’T UNDERSTAND IS HOW YOU CAN HATE THIS MASK?!
This is beauty, this is a symbol, like Batman or Superman..Definitely NOT Aquaman. Or you for that matter.
One hundred titles in your career…PA-LEASE. If that was the case you’d be in CSWA not IGC. Pfft…
Stop lying…Jimmy…
Dan Ryan doesn't even have a hundred titles...stop...lying...JIMMY.
I don't even think Hornet has a hundred titles...but Jimmy Hendrix the IGC Popcorn Match King does!
STOP LYING JIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!"
(CUT TO:
)
(Patented iPhone text message tone, as Raucous fingers are see in brief playing with the screen.)
OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH…..
Frank Hendrix….
I knew they didn’t’ bring ol’ dude back to life….
FADE OUT
(OOC: I know it's a 2 rp limit. Just felt like posting to build character development.)
...
..
…ba-beep, ba-beep, le beep.
…..
..
.
BEEP BEEP BEEP….
THERE WAS AN AWFUL LOUD FORKLIFT BACKING UP DURING YOUR PROMO SHOOT JIMMY!!!!!!!!!"
(Fade in. Raucous on a forward facing camera on some sort of mobile device, he is standing in some kind of secluded room. Mask on, per normal.)
"Now, when they said there was budget restrictions I simply shrugged my shoulders. I got a cell phone, I don’t need a cameraman. In fact…I have two cell phones…and no that’s not a joke, Jimmy, I actually got two!
But really…REALLY…really…you have a potty mouth. One that needs a little flushin’, a little floss…
AND A LOT OF SOAP!!!!!!
You want to talk about how you’re a big giant threat; you are as well-known as Todd Killings over there. How can you envy a person you are on the same level with?
Coooooommmeeeee OOOONNNNNN.
You don’t really….actually…believe you are that much better?
Well maybe you do…you keep calling yourself the main event…and we aren’t even the Main Event….
We aren’t even the pre-Main Event…
Jimmy…we aren’t even the Pre-pre-Main Event….
How can you be something you aren't even in!?"
(He turns his head facing the right)
"…Sir…we are locked on…."
(Fast twist to face left)
"FIRE"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(HEAD RIGHT!)
"Confirmed hit!"
(Finally, for the last time, left)
"Report to all sections…Ego has been shot down...Good job men."
(He looks down completely then back up)
"Do I look like a peasant to you? Pan handling?
Please sir…more pudding…I BEG YOU…please more pudding and don’t plow my butthole!
And you are like…
If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!
HOW CAN YOU HAVE MORE PUDDING, IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR MEAT!?!"
(He starts to fake cry hands covering his mask)
"….I just want some Tapioca…."
(Raucous lets out a wail of the banshees)
"But no! Here is Mr. Jimmy Hendrix, the biggest threat EVER in my career.
My two match career!
Well, I would certainly hope you are threat…as is everyone else.
I mean…really…Jimmy. Everyone is a big threat when you wrestle them….DERP-A DERP-A JIMMY NOT SO SMART-A.
Eh…That didn’t rhyme like I hoped for."
(Raucous shake the camera)
"WHAT I DON’T UNDERSTAND IS HOW YOU CAN HATE THIS MASK?!
This is beauty, this is a symbol, like Batman or Superman..Definitely NOT Aquaman. Or you for that matter.
One hundred titles in your career…PA-LEASE. If that was the case you’d be in CSWA not IGC. Pfft…
Stop lying…Jimmy…
Dan Ryan doesn't even have a hundred titles...stop...lying...JIMMY.
I don't even think Hornet has a hundred titles...but Jimmy Hendrix the IGC Popcorn Match King does!
STOP LYING JIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!"
(CUT TO:
(Patented iPhone text message tone, as Raucous fingers are see in brief playing with the screen.)
OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH…..
Frank Hendrix….
I knew they didn’t’ bring ol’ dude back to life….
FADE OUT
(OOC: I know it's a 2 rp limit. Just felt like posting to build character development.)