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Superbowl: Unnamed Bastard vs. Hacker

PaulNJ21

I shunned a voodoo witch, decapitated a black cat
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(written by John Rivera)

Coming back from commercial break. Hack and Unnamed Bastard are in the ring. Hacker is stretching, Unnamed Bastard looking at Hacker.

JONATHAN MARX: Well, as we all know Hacker and Unnamed Bastard are to face off, they have already made their entrances during the long break

VIC WATERS: Hey! We have to extend the commercials…it’s money.

BRANDON JACOBS: It’s freezing is what it is!

SFX: DING DING!

JONATHAN MARX: And this one is under way as Unnamed Bastard walks up to Hacker and holds up his left hand.

BRANDON JACOBS: Test of strength, great way to start out.

VIC WATERS: Look at this Hacker holds up his right hand. Unnamed Bastard sighs and switches hand, Now hacker says to hold on and lifts his left hand up!

JONATHAN MARX: Unknown Bastard….with a kick to the gut! DDT! And Hacker rolls out of the ring holding his head.

VIC WATERS: Good tactic! Time to recover. Hacker Slides back in the ring, Unnamed Bastard with some boots to the head, he pulls Hacker to the corner,, he sets up for the chops….

CROWD: WOOO!!!!

BRANDON JACOBS: OUCH!!! Unnamed Bastard just whacked him! I mean…there is a hand print! AND ANOTHER!!!!

CROWD: WOOO!!!!!!

JONATHAN MARX: Let me tell you all something…those hurt….a lot.

VIC WATERS: NOT AS MUCH AS THAT! UNNAMED BASTARD WITH A KICK STRAIGHT TO HACKERS BABY MAKER!!!

BRANDON JACOBS: Oh dear. I feel his pain…I really do. Referee Michael Cabrera telling Unnamed Bastard to watch his kicks.

VIC WATERS: Unnamed Bastard continuing his assault as he swings left, now a right. Irish whip to the opposite corner….

JONATHAN MARX: Chest first hits Hacker! And he topples over to his back. Cover….1….2…rope break.

BRANDON JACOBS: That sucks. Unnamed Bastard Lifting Hacker up, scoop slam, off the ropes with the elbow drop.

VIC WATERS: No! Hacker moves, Unnamed sits up, drop kick to the back of the head from Hacker, Hacker lifts Unnamed up, Irish whip….sharp clothesline from Hacker.

JONATHAN MARX: Not that sharp, Unnamed back on his feet, and another clothesline…back up again, Hacker with a third…NO! Unnamed ducks, a beautiful neck breaker from Unnamed.

BRANDON JACOBS: COVER! COVER HIM! 1….2….faint kick out. I hate that.

VIC WATERS: You hate a lot of things.

BRANDON JACOBS: Do not.

VIC WATERS: Do to.

BRANDON JACONS: I DO NOT!!

VIC WATERS: You going to cry to mommy?

BRANDON JACOBS: Jonathan make him stop!

JONATHAN MARX: Stop. Now, back to the match at hand. Unnamed Bastard getting to his feet. He’s on his feet. Hacker with a drop toe hold into the second and first rope!!

VIC WATERS: This one is over!

JONATHAN MARX: Hacker bouncing off the ropes…here comes the 619!!

BRANDON JACOBS: NO!!!! Unnamed Bastard was playing possum! Unnamed Bastard just kicked the second rope and Hacker swung around like a monkey!

VIC WATERS: He sung around so much he tied his head in between the first and second rope!

JONATHAN MARX: That’s awesome! Hacker is choking himself out practically.

VIC WATERS: Unnamed Bastard is just sitting in the corner, I mean Hacker is turning red!

BRANDON JACOBS: Now Blue……
JONATHAN MARX: I see purple! Purple on his face!

VIC WATERS: I mean they can’t get a rope count because Unnamed Bastard isn’t technically using the ropes.

BRANDON JACOBS: Isn’t that like ring out?

JONATHAN MARX: No his butt is on the apron…

VIC WATERS: Hack has stopped moving…..

BRANDON JACBOS: There we go! Unnamed Bastard flips Hack over and undoes the ropes…here’s the cover. 1….2…3!!!

SFX: DING DING!

RING ANNOUNCER: The winner of the match.... UNNAMED BASTARD!

BRANDON JACOBS: Hacker put up one hell of a fight, but in the end, the Bastard couldn't be stopped. We will be back right after this with the BAD World Heavyweight Title match between Jared Wells and Steve Johnson! Will Steve Johnson be the one to put Well's title reign to end? STAY TUNED!

FTB
 

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