DizzaHizza
Official Unofficial FW Party Pimp
** Fade In: NFW World Champion, Kin Hiroshi, sits in front of an NFW backdrop as the camera crew makes final preperations for his promo. **
KIN HIROSHI: "So this thing on or what?"
* Hiroshi looks past the camera at the attending crew. He puts out his cigarette, and shifts the NFW World Championship a little higher onto his shoulder. Giving it a quick wipe, he makes sure that there is nothing tarnishing the moment. *
KIN HIROSHI: "Okay, we ready?"
* The Muffin Man clears his throat. *
KIN HIROSHI: "Gentlemen, and ladies, of NFW, we are fast approaching the dawning of a new epoch of the New Frontier Wrestling history, a new chapter in the epic tale of our company, and a new vision from our fearless leader. Yet, as we move forward into the future, reflect on the past, and move transdimensionally through the marvels of scientific advancements in quantam physics, I stand before you as YOUR champion.
"Moreso, I stand before you as your DEFENDING World Champion. Not only did I defeat Felix Red for this belt, but I also upset Jason Payne and Mittens T. Cat the next night during my first title defense. After the hellacious two-night struggle the catapulted my face onto every Wheaties box, and my d**k into every woman who knocks on my door, I simply needed some rest and relaxation to reflect on Season 2.
"Doing so allowed me to discuss with my agent, Michael LeQuan "Flash" Dove, what my agenda as your champion should be, and I have come up with a plan of action that will be more well recieved than keeping YOUR troops in Iraq. In fact, with a little help from one of the newest additions to the NFW tag-team roster, The NEW V.D., I should be able to maintain sanity and control in this company.
"Lord knows we need sanity here more than ever, what with giant dildo-bots, wrestling felines, and insane plumbers hellbent on destruction! I say, "NO MORE, NFW!" I say, "We take a stand now!" It's time to do away with the filth and the trash that the brass in the back seems to want to sign up as fast as possible, but what is really needed is a complete overhaul in the pecking order around here.
"So far, Joe The Plumber has already called me out for my championship, and I politely declined. In my eyes, Joe the S**t Shoveler doesn't compare to me, and shouldn't even be allowed to THINK about this title. Like I said a few days ago I will decide who gets the title shots, not some half-assed list of "competitors" placed in my PERSONAL lockerroom every week. Right now, I see four men who deserve shots at this title. Three of them were on the aforementioned list of names, and one of them wasn't even listed.
"First off is Nova, a man who needs no introduction and garners respect wherever he wrestles. Only, I'm not granting him a title shot yet. Why? Because he walked out of Wrestlebowl 2 Night 2 as the Ultratitle Champion, which means the two of us will be going toe-to-toe soon enough.
"Second is Jason Payne. Jason seemed to lose his step with me and Mittens on Night 2, but every loser deserves a shot at redemption, even if he has no choice but to be a martyr for the cause.
"Third is a...gentleman? Well, he was left off of my little scrap of paper all together: Mittens T. Cat. I don't understand why he was left of the list of contenders for the hottest title in professional wrestling, but he was. Mr. Cat pushed me to the breaking point, that only a few have pushed me to before, and Mittens would have walked away with the NFW World Championship if it wasn't for the fourth man worthy to challenge me for this title right now.
"Felix Red. The man who served as my personal savior and eternal executioner. The man who THOUGHT he killed me, but his will acted out against his ego and brought me back to life. Felix, I don't know HOW you walked out with Hatter during Night 2, but during the Ultratitle Championship I followed you out to find THE answer:
"Why? You drugged me worse than I could dope up myself. You broke my ribs. You punctured my lung. You killed me. Yet, something made you walk out on Night 2, slide into the ring with Cpt. America's shield and destroyed Mittens' face. Why did you save me, Felix? Why did you save me, for a second time? I swear to GOD, you should have let me die, because I will never be buried into the earth, or the mid-card, until I have EVERYTHING from you!"
* Hiroshi wipes his forehead, and gains a bit of his composure back. *
KIN HIROSHI: "Now, as for my plan of action as how the NFW World Championship will be treated, I would very much like to make that announcement right now, but, alas, I must wait. How about this: anyone on the list of competitors for my title should make their way to the ring at the inaugural Crash TV for the rebirth of NFW. At that time, I, as your honorable and benevolent World Champion, will make my anticipated announcement, and inform the world who the FIRST challenger for the NFW World Championship will be.
"Gentlemen, and ladies, thank you for your time, and I appreciate your prompt arrival to the ring before the Main Event at Crash TV."
** FADE TO MAUVE **
KIN HIROSHI: "So this thing on or what?"
* Hiroshi looks past the camera at the attending crew. He puts out his cigarette, and shifts the NFW World Championship a little higher onto his shoulder. Giving it a quick wipe, he makes sure that there is nothing tarnishing the moment. *
KIN HIROSHI: "Okay, we ready?"
* The Muffin Man clears his throat. *
KIN HIROSHI: "Gentlemen, and ladies, of NFW, we are fast approaching the dawning of a new epoch of the New Frontier Wrestling history, a new chapter in the epic tale of our company, and a new vision from our fearless leader. Yet, as we move forward into the future, reflect on the past, and move transdimensionally through the marvels of scientific advancements in quantam physics, I stand before you as YOUR champion.
"Moreso, I stand before you as your DEFENDING World Champion. Not only did I defeat Felix Red for this belt, but I also upset Jason Payne and Mittens T. Cat the next night during my first title defense. After the hellacious two-night struggle the catapulted my face onto every Wheaties box, and my d**k into every woman who knocks on my door, I simply needed some rest and relaxation to reflect on Season 2.
"Doing so allowed me to discuss with my agent, Michael LeQuan "Flash" Dove, what my agenda as your champion should be, and I have come up with a plan of action that will be more well recieved than keeping YOUR troops in Iraq. In fact, with a little help from one of the newest additions to the NFW tag-team roster, The NEW V.D., I should be able to maintain sanity and control in this company.
"Lord knows we need sanity here more than ever, what with giant dildo-bots, wrestling felines, and insane plumbers hellbent on destruction! I say, "NO MORE, NFW!" I say, "We take a stand now!" It's time to do away with the filth and the trash that the brass in the back seems to want to sign up as fast as possible, but what is really needed is a complete overhaul in the pecking order around here.
"So far, Joe The Plumber has already called me out for my championship, and I politely declined. In my eyes, Joe the S**t Shoveler doesn't compare to me, and shouldn't even be allowed to THINK about this title. Like I said a few days ago I will decide who gets the title shots, not some half-assed list of "competitors" placed in my PERSONAL lockerroom every week. Right now, I see four men who deserve shots at this title. Three of them were on the aforementioned list of names, and one of them wasn't even listed.
"First off is Nova, a man who needs no introduction and garners respect wherever he wrestles. Only, I'm not granting him a title shot yet. Why? Because he walked out of Wrestlebowl 2 Night 2 as the Ultratitle Champion, which means the two of us will be going toe-to-toe soon enough.
"Second is Jason Payne. Jason seemed to lose his step with me and Mittens on Night 2, but every loser deserves a shot at redemption, even if he has no choice but to be a martyr for the cause.
"Third is a...gentleman? Well, he was left off of my little scrap of paper all together: Mittens T. Cat. I don't understand why he was left of the list of contenders for the hottest title in professional wrestling, but he was. Mr. Cat pushed me to the breaking point, that only a few have pushed me to before, and Mittens would have walked away with the NFW World Championship if it wasn't for the fourth man worthy to challenge me for this title right now.
"Felix Red. The man who served as my personal savior and eternal executioner. The man who THOUGHT he killed me, but his will acted out against his ego and brought me back to life. Felix, I don't know HOW you walked out with Hatter during Night 2, but during the Ultratitle Championship I followed you out to find THE answer:
"Why? You drugged me worse than I could dope up myself. You broke my ribs. You punctured my lung. You killed me. Yet, something made you walk out on Night 2, slide into the ring with Cpt. America's shield and destroyed Mittens' face. Why did you save me, Felix? Why did you save me, for a second time? I swear to GOD, you should have let me die, because I will never be buried into the earth, or the mid-card, until I have EVERYTHING from you!"
* Hiroshi wipes his forehead, and gains a bit of his composure back. *
KIN HIROSHI: "Now, as for my plan of action as how the NFW World Championship will be treated, I would very much like to make that announcement right now, but, alas, I must wait. How about this: anyone on the list of competitors for my title should make their way to the ring at the inaugural Crash TV for the rebirth of NFW. At that time, I, as your honorable and benevolent World Champion, will make my anticipated announcement, and inform the world who the FIRST challenger for the NFW World Championship will be.
"Gentlemen, and ladies, thank you for your time, and I appreciate your prompt arrival to the ring before the Main Event at Crash TV."
** FADE TO MAUVE **