To Terrence, From Hardbody: <3

[DWoods]

(FADE IN: "THE ANIME ADONIS" HARDBODY is once again chillin' with some Jews… this time in a mattress store. HARDBODY and the Jews bounce up and down on a bed, whacking each other with pillows, until feathers EXPLODE into the hair and float slowly to the floor. HARDBODY plunks himself down on the edge of the bed, while his Jew friends continue to carry on in the background. It should be noted that HARDBODY is wearing only a pink g-string, and it's riding so far up his ass crack that you've got to wonder – seriously wonder, now – if he's actually wearing anything at all…)

HARDBODY: "Heeeeey fweeennndddz!" (Waving) "Oh m' gosssh, it's so STUNNING to see you all again! You're looking GREAT, bee-tee-dubble-u! Especially YOU, Terrence… positively MMMMM! You're like a widdle rockstar supernova of lovvve… can Hardbody see your "blackhole"?

:-D

"Ground control to Major Tom: Hardbody's ah-ready to be SHHHH-(long slurping noise)-UCKKKED into the abyss!!"

(HARDBODY fans his bosom…)

(EXTREME CLOSEUP: HARBODY's left pectoral, on which "TERRENCE" is tattooed.)

HARDBODY: "Hardbody ADORES YOU!! He thhhinks your whole "hard to get" strategy is working… :-D Oh, and Hardbody can girl-it-up if that's what gets your nuts ah-boilin'! Anyfing for you, Terry-Terr-Terr-Terrrrrannnce~! Hardbody'll ah-swing by Winners and pick up a couple V-necks and maybe a skirt with a conservative cut! Hardbody'll be "Sandy" and Terrence can be "Danny Zuko"! We can sing songs and roll in the saaand! And if the T-Birds get jealous, Hardbody doesn't mind providin' the "communal cum receptacle"!!

"Beee mine, Terrennnce! <3<3<3<3"

(FT<3)

 

[terence]

somebody get this dude the f*ck away fro m me.

 

[DWoods]

(FADE IN: "THE ANIME ADONIS" HARDBODY smiles into the camera.)

HARDBODY: "Heeeeeey Terence... Hardbody just got back from Fraaaance, and he brought back a widdle summin'summin' for his baby boi Terence... one sexxx..."

(HARDBODY reaches down into the back of his pink g-string, his tongue stuck out and twisted as he roots for... something...)

HARDBODY: "Ah ha!! PAY DIRT!"

(HARDBODY pulls a...

...

...used tampon out from behind his back and dangles it in front of the camera...

P.S. It's stained brown.)

HARDBODY: "Hardbody'll be sure to give this to you when we finally meet... You can ssssshhh(long slurping sound)uck my mange juishes from it and tell me how it tastes -- a widdle sour? Tee-hee! LOVE FROM HARDBODY! SEE YOU SOON, TERRY!! CROTCH-TOUCHING HUGS AWAIT!"

(FTB)