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TWW: Newington, NH House Show aka TERENCE RULES


Jan 1, 2000
Troy Windham Wrestling made its debut on the New Hampshire Seacoast by hosting a card at ROLLER SKATE NEWINGTON, a roller rink outside of Portsmouth. A ring was set up in the middle of the rink surrounded with bleachers. Tickets included roller skating sessions pre AND post match. The crowd was 300 strong (out of 300 seats!) and decently loud.

EL GORDO GRANDE vs. "The Stick Up Kid" John Davies

In this classic battle between big and small, the fat Mexican took on the scrawny kid from nearby Portland. The Stick Up Kid came out with a new look as a new BLONDE streak runs down the middle of his black permed mullet.

This match lasted about two minutes. Davies hit some elementary offense to start with, but with little-to-no effect. Grande hit Davies with a slap to the face, a snap mare takedown, a shoulderbreaker and then whipped him hard into the ropes. He then charged and rammed his ass into Davies' skull in a move he calls LA CHUPACABRA and had an easy 1-2-3.

WINNER: El Gordo Grande

After the match, El Gordo Grande was slowly going back to the dressing room as he recieved jeers from the crowd. But coming out to start his next match was THE JUDGEMENT CALLER, one of the TWW's many big men. The Judgment Caller and Grande stared at each other eye-to-eye before JC picked up his elongated cell phone and said, "EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A CALL" before walking away from Grande.

THE JUDGMENT CALLER vs. The White Mountain Kid

The White Mountain Kid is another in a host of young New England-area trainees who have made their pro debuts in TWW. He hails from upper New Hampshire and, after graduating from a vo-tech program specializing in HVAC repair, he decided to follow his dreams as a wrestler. He's about 6'4 in height and an undersized 195 pounds but has a frame indicating he could develop physically. He also has a blonde rat tail, shaved shides and naturally black hair and, for some reason, wore a Confederate flag T-Shirt.

The WMK stomped on the mat to start the match to rally the fans behind him. He showed some initial spunk and energy by attacking with a dropkick the Caller's knee, and then tried to take the Caller down with a single leg takedown. This was the beginning of the end as TJC hoisted The WMK by his neck, headbutted him, and then hoisted him up to his shoulder in powerslam position, but then swung him into gorilla press position, where he then hoited WMK into the air, jumped and splashed the rookie at the same time for the impressive 1-2-3. The crowd went "ohhhhh" at this impressive display of strength and agility and applauded afterwards.

WINNER: The Judgment Caller

After the match, The Judgment Caller began walking to the back. Then, Big Daddy, not scheduled for a match but obstensibly there to sell Poloroids during intermission, came out and got in The Judgment Caller's face. Both are two of the largest men in professional wrestling today. Then El Gordo Grande came out and all three stared each other down as a host of teenaged refs came to break up any potential violence. Then the following conversation occurredL

TJC: Excuse me. I have to make a phone call!
BG: That'd a good idea! Walk away. I have to sell Poloroids, anyway.
EGG: (undistinguishable street Spanish.)

Then there was intermission.

"The Dallas Maverick" Roscoe Riley vs. "Iceman" Kevin Kearns w/ Lady Veronica

Riley came to the ring first wearing a vintage Dallas Mavericks MIKE IUZZILINO jersey matched with green sh*tkicking boots and an angry snarl. Kearns came out next, limping as Lady Veronica tended to him as he grabbed the mic.

KEARNS: "I just want to apologize to all these fans here tonight. I never want to let the fans down. I was a big star once and held the North Georgia Wrestling Alliance's TV title until my life and career fell apart due to several addictions. I didn't hear YOUR cheers for years while I battled my way through my battles. But, unfortunately tonight... MY DUMB WHORE OF A WIFE got in a fender bender and I banged my chin up as a result. So, I can't wrestle you tonight, Roscoe. BUT SHE WILL!"

Kearns then grabbed his wife by the hair, as she begged for mercy, and threw her in the ring. Roscoe at first tried to not wrestle the woman but then punched her in the face and hooked her in THE MAVERICK MAKER choke-style Reverse DDT. Kearns applauded Roscoe and then dragged his wife to the back.

WINNER: "The Dallas Maverick" Roscoe Riley

Next entering the ring was "Tragic" Terry Aucoin, the TWW's hardest luck sad sack.

Then the lights went out and the introductory power chords of "PEACE SELLS" cued up. The crowd went BALLISTIC and immediately broke out with the chant sweeping all of New England.


Terence came walking out in a sleeveless Megadeth AFFLICTION T-Shirt including linked chains on the back! The chant continued as Terence kept his eyes dead set on the ring. He hopped up onto the ring apron, stepped over the ropes and immediately kicked Aucoin in the stomach. Aucoin was set up in PowerBomb position.

The crowd yelled along with Terence


Whomp. Hoist.


Terence then pinned Aucoin with ONE finger. He then went to all four sides of the ring, shaking the ring ropes violently as the crowd loudly cheered. And he walked out to the chant one more time.


On his way out, TWW's latest signee THE MIGHTY IMPALA -- An alleged African prince with black hair and a chubby build, walked past ducking from Terence who snarled at him. TMI went to the ring for his first match in four years.

Then, cued up over the scratch 10-watt speakers...

"ONCE MORE I'LL SAY GOODBYE TO YOU" and the crowd went from Terence chants to a loud POP! as at the top of the ring entrance area stood TWW World Troy Windham Champion CAMERON CRUISE, wearing a sleeveless REALITY CHECK T-Shirt showing off a faded barbed wire tattoo around his left bicep.

Terence stood at the side and stared at Cruise. Cruise looked up and down at Terrence and nodded his head up and down. The crowd was ELECTRIC -- some chanting TERRRR ENNNNNCE. TERRRRR ENNNNNCE. Others chanting "Let's Go Cruise! Let's Go Cruise!" Terence pointed at Cruise's title and then made the "I want the belt around my waist" hand gesture, raised his fist one more time as the crowd chanted his name as he left to go rock out at an assfag-free metal bar up the highway some.


The Mighty Impala is a ring veteran with close to 20 years experience. At one point, he was a rising star on the circut but injuries, a large ego and a career as an African soccer team bus driver distracted him from his career. But now off of a government watch list, he's back and able to wrestle.

Cruise started the match strong with several quick moves -- sliding underneath the sloth-like TMI and hitting him with a reverse crescent kick, hopping up to the middle turnbuckle and off with a dropkick and then an old-school FRANKENSTEINER. But TMI then hit Cruise with a nutshot. Cruise went down and TMI started to choke Cruise viciously. Referee Bryant Grant (16-years-old with a big thing for Ashley Simpson) was about to DQ TMI when TMI pulled out a paper from his crotch.

Bryant then explained to Cruise and to the crowd that as TMI was a foreign dignitary, he had DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY from standard wrestling rules and was allowed to cheat while his opponent was not.

TMI then wrapped Cruise in a reverse chin lock and sat down, using his 115-pounds of weight advantage to drain Cruise's strength. But Cruise kicked on the mat, getting the crowd to chant "Let's Go Cruise!" Cruise and TMI got up at the same time and TMI again went down low. He then attempted to hook Cruise in DIPLOMACY IN ACTION, his cross-face chicken wing finisher, but Cruise dropped down, grabbed his ankle and hooked TMI in THE CRUISE CONTROL STF to the crowd's massive approval.

WINNER: Cameron Cruise

The ring and bleachers cleared and the fans enjoyed roller skating and pop-punk afterrwards.

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