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ULTRATITLE ROUND 3 POSTED!

Spike Saunders

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*I believe Spike Saunders does not qualify for the 'newcomer' prize, but I could be wrong.
That'd be up to Chad. Before the UT I posted the random (given our schedule) ndub card for the other guys exposure. But he also was trying to get me on board for ages :p
 

Aaron

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If I somehow, manage to win this tournament or any other prize, I'd like it donated to charity. I'm not doing this for money I don't need. So any monetary prize therein is of zero value to me personally, I'm thinking Children's International is a good enough cause for me.
 

LQJT86C

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If I somehow, manage to win this tournament or any other prize, I'd like it donated to charity. I'm not doing this for money I don't need. So any monetary prize therein is of zero value to me personally, I'm thinking Children's International is a good enough cause for me.

You're a nice guy. I absolutely need the money, and will spend it on cornchips and 99 cents Golden Bear Lemonade.
 

Aaron

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You're a nice guy. I absolutely need the money, and will spend it on cornchips and 99 cents Golden Bear Lemonade.

A worthy pursuit. Would anyone believe I totally spaced that there was actual money at play here?
 

jayshort

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Great job to all involved. I had a ball being in this thing, but the truth of the matter is, I never, ever under any circumstances do well in any of these tournaments. I knew this coming in, and I wanted to reverse the curse, so to speak... and, ended up putting way too much pressure on myself. In each of my character's losses, I thought the guys that I competed against deserved the win.

Great job, and best of luck to all that are still in this thing. Hope to see alot of you all stick around... Preferably in EPW so that we can see each other again. :)
 

Ford

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I want to echo Jamar's statements above.

But just a heads up, the Ultratitle Challonge brackets have Windham going over Harmen. Scared me for a little bit and had to re-read the results! :)
 

SavonarolaPRW

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The results were and excellent read, I'm astounded by the amount of effort being put forth in this tournament. I have never been a part of anything like it. As I read through the matches and the roleplays I previously missed, an old feeling comes over me. It is the excitement I used to feel when first beginning as an efedder.

Ultratitle has been fun to be a part of, wish I could have gone a bit farther, but you know better luck next time. Better effort is the key, really. Congratulations to Deacon, I wish you luck. It was fun. I will be looking in to some of the affiliated feds here in case anyone is interested in the One Man Italian Battalion.

Thanks again for the fun. I look forward to reading Round 4.
 

Ford

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Any judge's feedback yet?

Yeah. You sucked and I ruled! Wait. No. Usually that's the other way around. I still can't believe I bet you :)

Here's the notes I sent Chad, with some corrections made since I typed them on my ipad.

Melton over showtime 5-5. - Best rps in round three for bracket one. Showtime lost because Melton took some nice creative liberties and Showtime's second rp was bogged down with a match I didn't feel there was any REAL consequence to. Hated voting against Showtime here but had to in the end.

Andrews draws Stevens 5-5. Tough match to call. I honestly didn't like most of the material from either man. Not that it wasn't solidly written, I just felt it was redundant. Andrews had better ideas but Stevens had better wordplay. If Andrews changed up and varied his dialogue to not be so repetitive I'd have given it to Andrews. Ultimately, both guys seemed "eh" to me and neither really stood out.

Cruise over Douglas 7-3. 2 rps vs 3, Troy coulda maybe had a shot. I was looking forward to more from Troy. Cause Troy's first seemed like a good start and it made him seem motivated. Cruise's material was solid. 1 rp vs. 1 rp, I may have given it to Troy. Cruise's three vs. one though was an easy pick for Cruise, since his quality remained consistent across those three roleplays.

Saunders over Zero 5-5. Zero's writing was stylistically better but I just couldn't get into reading someone's thoughts while they stare at postcards. Show don't tell was the big rule I felt Zero failed at in my eyes. Plus Spike kept things focused on ultratitle, and I felt he had the more solid relevant roleplays for this tournament. Still, it was close, cause Andy is a great at the technical writing aspects of the narrative style. Perhaps if I had been reading all the hype roleplays, I may have been drawn in more to Andy's work than I was Dusty's. As it is, I'm only focusing on the roleplays done in the bracket threads. That's my decision and I'm sticking to it!
 

Deacon

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Any judge's feedback yet?

Since you asked... wait, I didn't judge your competition. Oh well, here's my notes for Bracket 3. As you'll notice, I end up missing the victory as often as I actually agree w/ others so I would guess I'm the minority. And not to paint the obvious, but I'm out of judging anyway until Deacon's done so take this as any other feedback. My opinion and little else - oh, and at least the reasoning I used in judging the matchups.


Boogie Smallz vs. Kiyomori

Boogie 1 – In the description, you told us Boogie was mocking Kiyomori after describing what he was wearing. Not to be irritating, but we should be able to figure this out from your other writing. If not, it’s a poor job on your part. Rough segue into making fun of his name. It was abrupt and didn’t flow at all from the “seeking out info on him” bit. I don’t have any further specific notes – but this is an inauspicious beginning. Given, Boogie is in the ring first and I always give some bonus for jumping out of the gate, but this also read as an attempt at doing everything in one, a cluster, and lacked flow.

Boogie 2 – I’m not sure how long Kiyomori had to respond (didn’t get the date stamp on 1), but I’m guessing Boogie gave that initial offering before Monday. This went up about 3 days later, and it was like a different Boogie. Without a response. WHAT?!!! You knocked this one outta the park. I laughed. I gave that “EWWWW” response. It was everything I’ve come to expect. The only crit I have is – you had one descriptor that said he mean mugged for the camera and glared at it like he was speaking directly to the opponent. He is speaking to the opponent, and by the dialogue, it was about as direct as you can get. Let your dialogue do most of the talking – it’s your strong suit by FAR, better than most anyone else in this little dance. I love the fact that you don’t do descriptors that often also. I may be in the minority, but when writing Deacon's stuff, I find myself adding things to break up the dialogue at times, and do it in a way that’s not necessary. I much prefer your style. KUDOS!

Kiyomori 1 – Another nice opening. That really defines Kiyomori and sets him apart. After Boogie’s 2nd one, you’re gonna need it! One descriptor you added was “the last few words were spoken with disdain” and it was in regards to the samuri outfit from Boogie’s first RP. A better way to do this would be to break the dialogue off before mentioning the outfit, adding your descriptor (a sneer, growl, whateva), and then giving what he’s angry about. I don’t like to read something as I read it and then find out I read it wrong. Give it to me up front. The dialogue was crisp, though you’re omitting some words needed for clarity (be sure to read your work, out loud if necessary, before posting). You answered Boogie quite well and gave yourself an even keel in your own style. Another KUDOS!

Kiyomori 2 – What? Boogie didn’t response? In less than a day? I get the tact, but it felt pretty hollow unless you do something unexpected as I dig into this RP. Sharpest tool in the shed? They have that cliché in Japan as well? I feel accomplished looking at the inside of a dojo? Wow… that’s a unique feeling (uhm, I don’t like that). In fact, where the last RP had a good deal of strong moments, this one had 2 that actually got a reaction other than, “just stop already!” This was long, rambling, and barely went anywhere. Anytime you follow your own RP, the fear is this will happen, but where Boogie improved and added, yours rehashed and was much less clean.

Boogie 3 – This one wasn’t as good as 2, but it was better than 1. A decent response, but it read point by point, something that irritates me a bit when it’s obvious. Again, I do the same thing but honestly try not to. Favorite moment was the MLK response. Not much else stood out to me.

Kiyomori 3 – If I don’t like point by point, I like even less the missed point by point (mockingly stated). This 3rd repartee dropped Kiyomori as it was dull, uninteresting, and frustrating to read. Omitted words and other problems in comprehension on my part (largely due to failed grammar – commas are great for giving us a pause). I had to do a good deal of re-reading to get your meaning (at least, I think it was your meaning). The highlight would’ve been asking why Boogie didn’t respond to your question about him being a man. That was the best tactic, but as w/ Boogie’s highlight, it was only one among the throng.

To both – this wasn’t the matchup I’d anticipated. It ran too long and didn’t build to anything. If I tore into Codine for some of these errors during Round 1, this was miles worse from both guys. I know both can do better.
Right now, I’d give a very slight edge to Boogie pending the segments.

Boogie Segment – Not bad usage of a reporter, so that’s a plus. It wasn’t great, but certainly had some personality, though the “Whoa, you really don’t like him line” that Smilek said was… silly. This was probably the best of the segments I’ve read so far w/ only Kiyomori left to read.

Kiyomori Segment – This was comparable to Boogie’s so though your battle on the boards was less than expected, this particular part is the strongest section for you guys.

Judge Score – Boogie 6-4. I had Boogie with a slight lead going into the on-show segments and I think you both improved equally in the segments, so Boogie carried his edge forward.


Codine vs. Massacre

Codine 1 – Nice hit out of the gates. Best line was the things a woman can do well – sexist, sure, but as long as he doesn’t back off of it later, should be interesting. Which makes me wonder, what would Codine’s wife say? Tell me you’re going to go THERE!

Massacre 1 – Nice hit too. I won’t go as far as to say either of these are home runs, but both were solid. Mikey’s one of my fav types of characters, the ones that underestimate themselves and don’t really care. You played that well and did it in a way that brought everything out you wanted, at least to me. And, I laughed several times. The only crit is the closing cell phone bit that didn’t really do anything aside from setup something, and if you don’t pay off in the RP or at least segment for the show, it’ll be a death. I’d give a slight edge to Mikey at this point (a triple to Codine’s stand up double), but I have a feeling this is a long way from over.

Codine 2 – Strong retort w/o some of the weaknesses I’ve seen in this tourney. Solid, Blade style work that put him across and over well. As w/ Mikey, the closing segment is cool IF you deliver a payoff. If you don’t… death.

Massacre 2 – The opening section in the toilet was funny, but otherwise pointless unless moving into the CSWA is somehow important. Good retort, but it needs some transition between points – see earlier comments on going “point by point” in a response. Blade did that part better. The verbal punchline was nice – looking in the mirror. The thing w/ the wife or whoever, not as much, and actually stole some heat from your punchy ending (pun intended).

Codine 3 – The descriptor that explained why Blade was saying no to Lecompte was useless. Let the dialogue do the talking. Telling us why or whatever doesn’t add to the narrative. If you do want to throw those things in there, I’d suggest switching to prose style. In fact, this would’ve been a great scene done in “Zero’s style” . The laughter was a bit much, or the amount of it. If we were to be watching this, it would’ve looked odd, like 2 evil masterminds laughing every few moments at one another’s torts.

Massacre 3 – The RP itself was fine, not stellar, but not bad. The biggest problem right now is this mystery you have going from RP 1, “who is Brian” and then nothing else w/ it. Maybe it ties into the pill bottle, but again, this is another mystery that, w/ no payoff, could send you home. I’ll hope to read the show segments to make a final call but the strength you started with has been whittled down significantly.

Codine Segment – Eh, it was passable, but I was hoping for a bit more given that you had two people writing it out. It didn’t add anything to what you’ve already done so…?

Massacre Segment – I didn’t mind the pill segment. It was a hair better than Codine’s, not great, but not bad either.

Judge Score: Massacre never did explain the mystery from RP one, and in fact, we never heard anything else from Brian. For me, that took some strong work and diminished it. Not finishing it, actually not even mentioning, left me frustrated. Never a good thing for a reader. At the end of the day, that minus put Codine over. Both of you started strong and stayed neck and neck, but not in the way one would expect – it seemed as this went along, the worst the RPs got ending w/ an anticlimactic segment on the show.

Codine 6-4


Flair vs. Dane

Flair 1 – Diabolically Insecure, TEE HEE. Nice line. Nice segment, bringing it in the initial offering. That alone gives you some bonus points, but not as much given even if Eli doesn’t know Dane, Pete does and can pull from that history. Nice work!

Dane 1 – Excellent, excellent opening. It’s rare to see Dane w/o much dialogue and you did well w/ it. Loved the use of the secretary not recognizing him and how that bugged him – nice touch to put Dane over, or at least that part of Dane. As strange as this sounds for me to say (or type), the “promo” spot was the worst of it. Now, it wasn’t bad, not by a longshot, but it lacked the punch your opening had. Fortunately, that initial was strong enough to keep this more than a game.

Flair 2 – Decent opening segment w/ Ivy, not stellar, but not bad either. Solid, crisp writing. The promo bit had me chuckling several times, but don’t worry, even if I said if Eli makes me laugh, you lose… I was lying. It was all solid Eli stuff, w/ the promo putting it over the top. We’ll see how Dane hits because this was a homer.

Flair 3 – This was a letdown, not comparing to either of the first 2 Flair promos. It lacked the punch and rehashed a lot, something that seemed unneeded.

Flair Segment – Eh, alright segment. I’m wondering if these on-show promos were such a good idea because I’ve yet to read one that is solid.

Dane Segment –

Judge Score – The workhorse carries it out. Flair’s 1st and 2nd promo easily matched Dane’s one, and adding some extra work never hurts. OK, maybe it can hurt, but only in certain situations. Flair over cleanly.

Flair 7-3

Edmunds vs. Phantom Repulican

Phantom 1 – Opening segment was alright from a historical perspective. I’ll be more interested to see where you take it from here. This is a rough one to start with w/o giving anything to Edmunds to work w/, but we’ll see how it goes from here.

Edmunds 1 – “Not to take anything away from” Sean Edmunds… that was brilliant! One of my favorite things is to see someone take RL and plug it into character pieces seamlessly, and that made my day. Even if I was the one who said it. Oh, and don’t call me a pundit. It’s MR. Pundit to you! The on screen segment was good enough. Not great but certainly not bad. It kept things moving, but last round you built so this round I expect the same. The ending segment was once again strong.

Phantom 2 – Nice classic promo work using the gimmick. Not stellar, but not bad.

Edmunds 2 – Solid, solid work. I’d say this promo was much better, save for the forced ending “I’m that sensational”, and it’s hard for me to grumble about that because, well, it’s his gimmick. Nice work so I don’t have anything negative to add.

Edmunds 3 – Just like against Jiles, you save your most biting promo for your last. I wouldn’t say it worked as well, but it was certainly a home run. This is going to be challenging for Phantom to pull anything out in the show segment part.

Phantom Segment –

Edmunds Segment – OK, I liked the premise of the handheld filming the actual DVD and such, but the actual verbage was… meh. I am Quebecior? Really? And this means something… why? Anyway, this didn’t add anything to it and I REALLY wish you would’ve ended w/ Edmunds 3 – that would’ve been great for a viewer to see! Oh, and you used a crappy reporter type who asked asinine question(s) that only pushed the angle w/o having any personality of his own.

Judges Score – Edmunds must love doing this to me, but he took Phantom out. Phantom’s first was good, his 2nd was alright. Edmunds continues to build to strong endings, even if the on-show segment was a bit lackluster. He did so again and now, if my votes hold true, will have to do it again against Eli Flair. I was eagerly anticipating a Phantom Republican vs. Eli Flair matchup but Edmunds delivered. He’s earned his spot and can now change his name to Simply Sweet Sixteen Sean Edmunds.

6-4 Sean Edmunds.
 

scotto

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Melton over showtime 5-5. - Best rps in round three for bracket one. Showtime lost because Melton took some nice creative liberties and Showtime's second rp was bogged down with a match I didn't feel there was any REAL consequence to. Hated voting against Showtime here but had to in the end.


Thanks for this. When I hit "submit" on that RP, my thought was "I think I just f**ked myself." It was a risk, but I would have regretted not trying it. I wasn't going to win by going toe-to-toe with Steve in promos, so I wanted a mini-angle that would show a bit more of what Showtime is "about" in the ring. In the end it ballooned so much that a lot of the original meaning of the "match" was watered down. Still worth it for the line about Spider being blacklisted for using a porcupine in a match.

In fact I have serious criticisms of all my RPs in this round, but I stand by them anyway. They were as good as I was going to do at the time. Three weeks later, of course, I'm thinking "Oh, I could've done this and said that" but when I was agonizing over my keyboard that week, I didn't post anything if I thought I could do it better. Proof of this is in the ungodly number of drafts I ditched before finally posting any of those.

Part of me thinks moving on in this tournament would have just wrecked me, haha. Not that I wouldn't want to. Those RPs, win or lose, were the most rewarding writing I've done in some time.
 

User Poets

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Bracket 1 Round 3

Zero vs. Spike Saunders

Spike's first post was pretty much exactly what it would have to be: his opponent has not given much in the way of direct access over the first two rounds in the sense of things he's said that any opponent (even though he didn't have one in round two) could really work with. Spike's use of the talk show to get over his character, mentioning Zero in passing and really just pushing the Ultratitle as a whole. I like the fact that it was the nBW set, reminding people that the Ultratitle is a separate entity, and that a lot of the participants have other jobs they need to to focus on. Obviously from a non-kayfabe standpoint we know the use of Zero as the 'number ten' was planned to bring it back to the Ultratitle and the match in general. Also liked Callie Urban's end-spot cameo.

He followed it up with another decent post, I thought. With no opponent to play off, he did what he had to do and got himself over, showing Spike as a wrestler who trains hard and works hard to get what he wants. The low battery chorus was a clever analogy toward time ticking away (at least, that's how I took it.

Zero's posts... I'm not sure where to begin.

I try to be fair when I judge these things and focus on the thread at hand. You might be writing an epic miniseries but when you're RPing for a match I shouldn't have to have read the first ten parts from another forum just to understand who everyone is. Looking solely at this thread and the match RP that it contained, I don't know who Dougie is, who Robert is, who Carenthia is, or why we should care about either of them. I can speculate that Dougie is Zero's son and Robert is married to Carenthia and he doesn't know.

Spoiler alert, by the by.

DECISION: From the start, I had been saying that what I wanted to see from the matches I was going to judge was good character, good dialogue, and a focus on the Ultratitle. It doesn't have to be all - encompassing, but when I read your stuff, I should know that I'm reading about a professional wrestler who is involved in the Ultratitle and has an opponent that's on his mind.

One of the participants in this match did that.

I understand and appreciate travel issues - I had them in the first round. But I feel like Spike is the only one in this match that actually remembered that he's writing about a wrestler. Zero and his universe is filled with a decent narrative but I would've preferred to have seen one post where we remembered Zero was a wrestler than two posts that are parts 16 and 17 of a long and drawn out story that has nothing to do with wrestling, one of which featured none of the characters anywhere remotely connected to the Ultratitle.

Zero is a character that would do well in angle feds, but the style that he's been sporting does not translate itself well to a single elimination tournament. Taken with the entire picture in mind the writing on both sides was quality, in my opinion, but when read through the eye of a tournament match, unfortunately, this wasn't even close.

VOTE: Spike Saunders wins. (9-1)

Troy Douglas vs. Cameron Cruise


Like Cloverleaf/Roberts in the last round, I enjoyed the fact that these two had a history. I also enjoyed the fact that Troy Douglas didn't shy away from it: he's never beaten Cruise. And I like the way he's attacking it, like "I keep losing to Cameron Cruise, when can I wrestle him again?" Tenacity, thy name is Douglas.

Cameron Cruise has himself in an unusual circumstance this round: he's the favorite. That might be mean to say, but Siegel spends a lot of his time arguing his way out of a hole he digs for himself. It's nice to see him strut with attitude in a match where he's got legitimate reason to have it. I think both Douglas and Cruise set up a really nice story for themselves with their first two posts where an arrogant man attempts to prove continued dominance over a scrappy underdog.

Of course, Cameron Cruise continued to add to the story while Troy Douglas stayed in neutral.

I may have to take back everything I've ever said about Siegel after his unnecessary and totally awesome shot at the Elimination Squad in his second post.

And then, Cruise piled it on some more.

DECISION: If the RP stopped after Cruise's first post, I would've had a hard time with this. They went back and forth in their opening salvos, painting what I thought was a good story on both sides from the get - go, and were pretty much even. Then Cameron Cruise pulled ahead and showed how much he cared about the UT and how much he wanted to be there.

I'm a firm believer in quality over quantity, but when you have quality X 1 against quality X 3, I think it's pretty much over.

VOTE: Cameron Cruise wins (8-2).

Sean Stevens vs. Jeff Andrews


Stevens' first RP prologue was probably the best storyline summation so far that I've read. It's a quick and easy recap of the highlights of his career that give an insight over where he's been without bombarding the reader with facts, and immediately I knew the midset of Triple X. When he moved into the promo section of the post, I was also happy to read what I read. He was still arrogant and confident, but he was also subdued enough to say "I want you focused."

I would say Andrews' first promo was focused, but it was also a little arrogant and ignoring of the facts. While everyone knew about the Lucky Loser, we tried to have an in - character explanation for it with a questionable finish to Stevens/Murray match, that hardly translates to a phantom battle royal in Rio and an implication that he only got there because his wife is helping to organize things. I was also not a fan of the last line: "You're stupid, you're a bad wrestler, and you've already lost once," etc. Am I nitpicking? Maybe, but there are ways to acknowledge Triple X's accomplishments, weigh them against the fact that he already lost in the first round, and still get yourself over.

Case in point, Sean Stevens' second post. He started off with a show of apprehensive respect, Jeff Andrews threw it back in his face, and Stevens responded by smashing him for the entirety of a posted promo. Sean Stevens is second to none in this arena, and I think he proved it. It wasn't a promo filled with "You suck, you're a loser, and your shirt is stupid," it was "You're terrible at this and here are the reasons why. Trip's second promo was trash talking with style.

Andrews' second promo hit a lot of the points a lot better than I thought he did in his first. He successfully shut down Stevens' entire argument that he didn't have any respect for the wrestling business, in my opinion, and his calm demeanor gave off a confidence that simply said "You won't beat me and you won't do anything to me because I said so." I enjoy that in a promo.

Trip's final promo was a continuation of what he'd done so far, I think. Creative and curbstomping trash talk with just as much emphasis on the things he didn't say.

Andrews' final - like Trip's final, was a continuation.

DECISION: This was tough, because I thought both guys wrote well and got their characters over well. It really became a matter of who did a better job of getting their point across than the other.

In that respect, it really came down to who was the most consistent. On one hand, Triple X is better than just about anyone else in the realm of trash talking, but his posts were little more than scene: talk: go. On the other, Andrews had varied and well - written replies all the way through, with confident and concise sound bytes, but he was a little 'too hip for the room' for my taste.

For me, it really came down to the little things and my own interpretations.

1: While Triple X did say 'F'k your promotions, this is the big time,' my interpretation was that he was saying "Your promotions are quaint, but this is the Ultratitle, where things are serious." Andrews' response was "F'k all my feds? Well f'k all your feds," and I think he missed the point.

2: Andrews 'Neutral Observer' comments at the beginning of his second post read to me like he was complaining "How dare you not hit these specific points that I talked about and already had ready made replies written!" You can't write an RP based on what you think your opponent will say and get upset when they don't say it.

3: “The thing that’s been going on here the entire time with Sean Stevens is that not only is he hypocritical through and through, but he’s so full of himself that he’s the only one who can’t see it.” from Andrews's third post might be tit - for - tat, but it's also one of the biggest pot-kettle-black things I've read so far.

DECISION: Triple X wins (6-4).

Joey Melton vs. Showtime


Melton is still the man.

He started off with his usual self - depricating babble, only with Melton it isn't babble, you need to read between the lines to see what he's saying. It takes a special character to be able to tell you all about his weaknesses and shortcomings, but still give off the aura of 'This is something special.' It's a by-product of twenty four years of history to refer back to, but Melton does it with style. I really liked his breakdown of how 'his' backyard was destroyed by the subsequent generation but that the promoters all still call him up to get their talent over. The legend of yesterday who can still go but doesn't much get the opportunity is an archetype very rarely seen these days, but it was done very well here.

Juxtaposed with Showtime, still the wide - eyed rookie who I get the sense he's making it up as he goes along. I enjoy the commentary with Penny and how she's become part of the show against her will. However, his comments about a legend being same old, same old ring hollow when it comes to Melton; the former Ultratitle Champion and CsWA World Champion has been nothing if not chameleon-like in the past few years, and he's been far from the same old thing. Still, that was a minor point.

It was, however, a point that took center stage after Melton's second post. I was all ready to throw the book at him for using Penny in his post after she had been fairly well established as a proprietary character for Showtime, until I got to the end and it was clear that Adrian was messing with Melton. Genius, but it isn't really match RP since nothing happened to further the narrative of the match.

However, Showtime's second post was also storyline building, so they even each other out. The training montage is always a crowd - pleaser, and I think it got over the fact that he's serious about what he does and that he wants to beat Melton on his merit, not assuming any kind of "You're old" advantage. Aces.

Eternal love for Tard for "I'm 14 and I can't run" said Jarrett in his third post.

Showtime's third was also high quality, continuing the story that he started rounds ago, and I am highly entertained by his merry band of misfits.

DECISION: This was the tough one. On one hand, Showtime has been writing a consistent, entertaining character for the entire tournament so far, and he's been keeping a pretty cohesive narrative running. On the other, Melton has been writing a consistent, entertaining character for the entire tournament so fa,r and he's been keeping a pretty cohesive narrative running despite taking some incredibly risky chances with his posts that keep on paying off.

Somewhere in this tournament Steve is going to make a fatal mistake, but it's not here.

VOTE: Joey Melton wins (5-5).


Bracket 4

Vincenzo Savonarola vs. The Deacon

Deacon started off with a powerful passage by Chris Shepherd. This is literally the first time that there is an opponent for Deacon, and he does the predictable (for his character) but the entirely appropriate thing in acknowledging it. It was a powerful opener that I think got over both Deacon's aura and his practical ability, combined with the fact that he most certainly has divine intervention on his side.

On the flipside, Savonarola was a counterpoint responder to Deacon, and I don't know that it worked the way he was hoping it would. The character is "Godfather" Vincenzo Savonarola, but there wasn't really anything in the writing that pointed to that. It seemed to me like the character was focused more on rebutting Shepherd's commentary point by point than actually getting his own stuff over. The promo, in its purest form, could have been filmed by anyone, there was no actual stamp of character on it.

With Deacon holding a clear advantage after the first round, the second was where he could either run away with it or give it away. He didn't do either, but he posted what I thought was a competent rebuttal - again, by Shepherd - that got over Deacon's psychology effectively and concisely.

Since neither man posted a third RP, everything hinged on Savonarola's final offering. And, while he posted a competent rebuttal, it was, again, a generic piece that could've been posted by anyone.

DECISION: A lot of this tournament has come down to character. Who is your wrestler, what does he do, and why does he do the things he does? Part of that is inherently, how does your wrestler portray himself?

Even if I had no idea who Deacon was before the Ultratitle, his RPs to date, including Chris Shepherd's promos for this round, gave me a clear understanding.

I can't really say the same for "Godfather" Vincenzo Savonarola. I understand the gimmick: an Italian type gangster type who can make us an offer he can't refuse. Unfortunately, Savonarola was so focused on rebutting everything that Chris Shepherd said on behalf of Deacon that I lost the gimmick entirely, and in my opinion, Savonarola didn't say anything that any other generic wrestler couldn't have said with just as much believability.

VOTE: Deacon Wins (8-2).

Pat Gordon Jr. vs Jeffrey Roberts


I think Pat Gordon has the perfect disposition to be a plucky underdog that we can all get behind: he's dedicating the rest of the tournament to all the underdogs who beat a top name, as well as all of the guys that were already eliminated. The enthusiasm outpaces the talent, which in turn raises the talent. Classic. I especially enjoyed him saying he'd be the next Dan Ryan considering who handles his opponent. Not sure if that was a subtle jab or a happy accident, but it was a cool little touch.

Roberts, on the other hand, eviscerated him from the get - go. He accused Gordon of not being serious enough and ran down all of the might've been matches that were lost because of no-shows or upsets, seeming almost disappointed that he had to 'settle' for this underdog who has won exactly the same number of matches that matter: two.

Which made it a touch of class that Gordon's second post started with making fish sticks. I was a fan in general of the way he turned from the underdog into the intense, focused wrestler who was determined to get his due at any cost, but I felt like it was kind of a departure from the established character in his first post.

Unfortunately, Roberts capitalized with a flawless post. I loved the Kevin Bacon game he played and mocked, which I thought was the high water mark of the thread.

Last licks for everyone followed suit: Roberts was crazy and taunted Gordon with visions of things that he would do to him, while Gordon asked a logical question: why are you here?

DECISION: Both wrestlers asked the only question that matters through their RPS without really coming out to say it.

"Do you think you can survive?" asked Jeffrey Roberts.

"Why are you a wrestler if you're a fan of chaos?" asked Pat Gordon Jr.

Both men did what they do as well as they could, and I honestly don't think that either of them made any mistakes that I could point to as 'That's why they lost.' I think there was a subtle shift in personality between RP 1 and 2 for Gordon, but I also believe that it was a logical extension of the lessons he learned from his father juxtaposed with a last minute defensive adjustment against his opponent. I think Jeffrey Roberts went a little far with his threats which took me out of the story since there's literally only so much you can do in the arena of professional wrestling, but he was also calm, creepy, and convincing enough to make me say 'Well, maybe.'

In the end, all I can really say is, once again, I hate you all for making me judge this bracket.

I have to give it to the one who seemed to want the ULTRATITLE more.

VOTE: Pat Gordon Jr. wins (5-5).

Freddie Sagawa vs. Shamon


Shamon starts off with the Disco Midget?

Shamon wins.

But seriously, starting things off with a press conference to transition from Dylan to Sagawa, between two completely different types of opponents, is probably a good idea. Shamon got himself over at Dylan's expense but also got Dylan over and got Sagawa over in their respective roles: that's the trifecta.

He doubled up, which should be a big boon, but it included Shawn Hart and Felicia Hart, and since they lost to Sagawa, what could they do? It wasn't a bad post but it involved character that have not endeared themselves to me, so we're left with a positive and a neutral as we move into Sagawa's first post.

The interview is a lost art form, and I thing Cameron Lee Waubash showed why it's a tragedy: the radio show pushing Sagawa was a great idea for a RP and I think he got over what he wanted to get over: Sagawa is a killer, and he remains so despite the wildly disparate comments that the interviewer brought up.

And there's the man.

You get doubled up, what's your ace in the hole? Freddie Sagawa himself, talking. So he's talking gibberish that we don't understand. He's still there, and that's more than anyone else has brought in.

Of course, his next RP happens on Friday, June 5, 2012 when June 5, 2012 was a tuesday. I'll forgive him but the next thing I hate about his RP will cost him the match. The interview was realistic and powerful: I felt his purpose through the computer screen.

Last licks for all, which is interesting when you figure both guys got to double up. Shamon hedged his bets with guest stars, unfortunately, SJH, Felicia Hart, and Phoebe Cates' boobs will not have his back against Sagawa. I think he had an opportunity to put the nail in the coffin here and he missed the mark.

Sagawa's last, however...

CLW: 'Donkey Show.'

Sagawa wins.

But seriously, the setting and the opening were classic CLW. He has a point, between Hart and Shamon, Freddie Sagawa is getting all of the freakshow opponents in this tournament, and it's a smart move to respond appropriately. It's also really dangerous to pigeonhole an opponent, so this move could either work out beautifully for Sagawa or blow up in his face. I liked the idea that Waubash locked his boy up in the hotel while he goes out on the town - it shows the very high disparity between wrestler and manager and while I'm sure CLW cares about his charge, it's very much a BUSINESS relationship. Subtlety, who knew you could show up like this? But of course, things took a turn when Sagawa escaped and, I don't know, busted up the donkey show, banged the woman, ate the donkey, and ran off into the night?

Kinky. And troublesome when it comes down to it.

DECISION: Sagawa is the next FWC legend, and Shamon is so so so so so so so SO much better than he has any right to be.

I think both characters are incredible, which is why it's so hard to juge.

In the end, I had to go to the RPs themselves. Sagawa stuck to his strengths and did some new things with the old choruses that he's been working since round 1, while Shamon has continued his build to the top with guest stars and competent commentary.

However, it is probably a bad idea to take a wrestler that your opponent crushed in the previous round and bring them in as an expert witness. That's up there with robbing a bank and going back the next day to open an account because you know the teller.

Even still, this was painful to have to judge.

Freddie Sagawa wins (6-4).

Troy Windham vs. Jack Harmen

I love the way Troy describes his blackberries - he has three, one for each compartment of his life. It reminds me of a post that Dan Ryan did a while ago where he described his mansion as being so large that the entire state of Texas was contained therein.

HOWEVER...

Troy was right on when he said he had no idea what Jack Harmen had ever done. Troy is an egotistical jackass and it's completely within his character to not care who he has to wrestle. He's the Epitome - he's automatically better than anyone. But when he says that he had one of his agents check out Harmen's previous round interviews, you get the idea that the agents would have wanted to go the extra mile for a Windham Clan bonus and get as much info as they could on Jack Harmen. They would've found more than just the NFW National Title, they would've found a career with comparable accomplishments to Troy Windham, just in another circuit. Took me out of the moment a bit, if only because I know the whole story. And Jack Harmen is a bigger name overall than any of the other Ultratitle winners in the past, save perhaps Joey Melton. Troy and his flunkies either need to do the research or not do the research.

On those coattails, Jack Harmen posted what I think was the only reply that could really be directed at Troy: a complete lack of caring about anything he said, coupled with every single incorrect fact. And I think he pulled it off perfectly. It's true that Harmen has dominated every promotion he's wrestled for, and while he hasn't been NFW World Champion, he hasn't seriously pushed for it.

Also, Troy's bragging of owning half the NFW is spurious since this isn't an ownership match, it's a wrestling match.

Speaking of which, we return to Troy and his entourage that has its own entourage. I love how effortlessly Troy takes all of Harmen's accomplishments and reduces them to nothing: "You won titles? So did I, and I didn't have to carry them. You wrestled everyone everywhere? So did I, and I'm making just as much money saying a promotion's name as I am wrestling in one." Harmen handled Troy's arrogance as well as anyone ever has, and Troy turned it around with more arrogance that shouldn't have worked, but it did.

So did Harmen's audit.

I'll be honest, my natural instinct would've been to tear down the House that L Ron built. Harmen went the other way and gave it the ol' college try, and that was a stroke of genius. So was his breakdown of the real difference between them: Jack wants to die after selling out the Tokyo Dome, Troy wants to die on the red carpet. So to speak.

Only one of them is giving off the aura of being a legitimate wrestler as opposed to a "Wrestling Superstar" here.

The last two were a little different since they were posted so close to each other, but they both put a nice and different cap on the thread and made me hate the fact that it had to end.

DECISION: On one hand, Troy Windham showed us why he's such an amazing character. He's at the point where he can do anything he wants anywhere he wants, and he's the rare breed that is both a mainstream celebrity and a World Champion.

On the other, Jack Harmen's professional accomplishments are comparable to Troy's, and he has the in-tournament advantage of being much more in the wrestling world than the celebrity world.

Troy name drops everyone he can to let us know he's fancy, while Jack name drops nobody to let us know he's serious.

Troy promotes Scientology to let us know he's an insane celebrity type who jumps up and down on Oprah's couch, while Jack humors him because he thinks/knows he's better than him.

I hate all of you for making me judge this one.

VOTE: Jack Harmen wins (5-5).

And I hope Troy wins now, just so I can be assured of not having cast the deciding vote.
 

Steve

the EX-QUEEN of FW~!
Joined
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Scotto,

As I told you if i had lost it would've been an honor.

I too was proud of what I did. You brought out the best in me. If i lost, awesome. I would've been happy with the final Melton rps.

Hope to see Showtime and Penny keep going.
 

MikeyMassacre

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Codine vs. Massacre

Codine 1 – Nice hit out of the gates. Best line was the things a woman can do well – sexist, sure, but as long as he doesn’t back off of it later, should be interesting. Which makes me wonder, what would Codine’s wife say? Tell me you’re going to go THERE!

Massacre 1 – Nice hit too. I won’t go as far as to say either of these are home runs, but both were solid. Mikey’s one of my fav types of characters, the ones that underestimate themselves and don’t really care. You played that well and did it in a way that brought everything out you wanted, at least to me. And, I laughed several times. The only crit is the closing cell phone bit that didn’t really do anything aside from setup something, and if you don’t pay off in the RP or at least segment for the show, it’ll be a death. I’d give a slight edge to Mikey at this point (a triple to Codine’s stand up double), but I have a feeling this is a long way from over.

Codine 2 – Strong retort w/o some of the weaknesses I’ve seen in this tourney. Solid, Blade style work that put him across and over well. As w/ Mikey, the closing segment is cool IF you deliver a payoff. If you don’t… death.

Massacre 2 – The opening section in the toilet was funny, but otherwise pointless unless moving into the CSWA is somehow important. Good retort, but it needs some transition between points – see earlier comments on going “point by point” in a response. Blade did that part better. The verbal punchline was nice – looking in the mirror. The thing w/ the wife or whoever, not as much, and actually stole some heat from your punchy ending (pun intended).

Codine 3 – The descriptor that explained why Blade was saying no to Lecompte was useless. Let the dialogue do the talking. Telling us why or whatever doesn’t add to the narrative. If you do want to throw those things in there, I’d suggest switching to prose style. In fact, this would’ve been a great scene done in “Zero’s style” . The laughter was a bit much, or the amount of it. If we were to be watching this, it would’ve looked odd, like 2 evil masterminds laughing every few moments at one another’s torts.

Massacre 3 – The RP itself was fine, not stellar, but not bad. The biggest problem right now is this mystery you have going from RP 1, “who is Brian” and then nothing else w/ it. Maybe it ties into the pill bottle, but again, this is another mystery that, w/ no payoff, could send you home. I’ll hope to read the show segments to make a final call but the strength you started with has been whittled down significantly.

Codine Segment – Eh, it was passable, but I was hoping for a bit more given that you had two people writing it out. It didn’t add anything to what you’ve already done so…?

Massacre Segment – I didn’t mind the pill segment. It was a hair better than Codine’s, not great, but not bad either.

Judge Score: Massacre never did explain the mystery from RP one, and in fact, we never heard anything else from Brian. For me, that took some strong work and diminished it. Not finishing it, actually not even mentioning, left me frustrated. Never a good thing for a reader. At the end of the day, that minus put Codine over. Both of you started strong and stayed neck and neck, but not in the way one would expect – it seemed as this went along, the worst the RPs got ending w/ an anticlimactic segment on the show.

Codine 6-4

Very fair, thoughtful critiques. (Not just my match, but the others as well.) The Brian thing was supposed to be a CSWA agent recruiting Mikey. I honestly thought I mentioned it again, but it must have got lost somehow in one of my edits. It wasn't supposed to be a huge deal, but yeah, I definitely left it hanging. The idea was that Mikey's career was really beginning anew, yadda yadda, but like you said, I dropped the ball.
 

KRobinson

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Jan 1, 2000
Messages
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Codine Segment – Eh, it was passable, but I was hoping for a bit more given that you had two people writing it out. It didn’t add anything to what you’ve already done so…?

Honestly Warren, I'm not a big fan of the segment due mainly to the fact that this is a one shot tournament, as opposed to a storyline building federation. I was attempting to provide some backstory in to Codine's past by bringing in his long time friend to train with (thanks to Paul for helping out), but for those unfamiliar with him, it most likely made absolutely no sense. Nor does it make sense to build a story through roleplays when your roleplay is limited and should focus on the topic at hand.

If I had a vote, I would say no more segments.

Overall, thanks for the critique and you said exactly what I expected, thus providing me with some info to work with in the next round.

And by the way, Codine's wife left him during his tenure in the SCW (she was a wrestler too, rp'ed by a female handler). Now you know why :).
 

Aaron

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Feb 24, 2009
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If anyone who judged my bracket would like to PM me any feedback(segment included), I'm always interested in reading such things.
 

Seymour Almasy

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If anyone who judged my bracket would like to PM me any feedback(segment included), I'm always interested in reading such things.

Ditto for me. Would like to at least see one bracket two judge post here.
 

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