UNLEASHED: Blitz & Leonard Johnson vs. The Highland Park Social Club - EPW World Tag
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MrWest
League Member
Re: UNLEASHED: Blitz & Leonard Johnson vs. The Highland Park Social Club - EPW World Tag
(Chip Friendly is in the HPSC locker room getting interviewed by his personal interviewer, Ed D'Enteviouer.)
ED: So Chip, it looks like The Highland Park Social Club's chance to grab some gold here in EPW has finally arrived.
CHIP: That it has, Ed. That it has. It's just a pity that the chance has come against a team so utterly undeserving of the gold that they carry.
ED: But Blitz has dominated pretty much every team they have stepped into the ring against.
CHIP: That doesn't matter. What makes them so undeserving is the fact that they are such horrible sports.
ED: What do you mean, Chip?
CHIP: What I mean is that in all of my time as the Nicest and Friendliest Man in Sports, I have seen a pair of worse losers than this pair. I mean, first Jecht comes in and phycically (and criminally) assualts me with a chair from behind because I had the audacity to defeat him fair and square in a wrestling contest. And then....
ED: Chip. People get attacked from behind with chairs all the time in our business.
CHIP: And people hit over 60 home runs all the time in baseball when they have there bodies pumped full with Beef-roids and Human Growth Hormone. That doesn't make it right.
ED: But Chip, you have been known to take a chair to a foe yourself in the past.
CHIP: Are you calling me a drug user, Ed?
ED: Um.... No...
CHIP: Good. Now let me get back to my point. So not only does The Jechtster balantly attack me because he can't defeat me in an honest and sporting fashion; but, then - after Dickie beats his swollen pal in a fair fight as well - they have to come running out while the Club is pulling double duty in the main event battle royal and illegally steal the World Title from us too.
ED: Don't you think that's a bit of a stretch. Even if one of you had won the Battle Royal (which was by no means a given), you still would have had to defeat Troy and four others this week at Unleashed to take the World Belt.
CHIP: Oh come on, now Ed. You've seen the competition here in EPW. (And I mean competition in the broad sense of the word). As world class as they might be in less talent circles, none of them but Kenny C is anywhere close to Clubworthy.
ED: I'd say that's probably up for debate....
CHIP: I am sure you would say that. But you'd also most likely say that "The Greatest Show on Earth" deserved to win the Oscar over "High Noon" back in 52.
ED: I have no idea what that even means Chip.
CHIP: It means that it would take a full scale consiracy of almost McCartyan to keep the Tag Belts off of us this week.
ED: Oh.
CHIP: I was a Twentieth-Century American History major in college.
ED: Oh. So what brought you into wrestling?
CHIP: I like to make people smile. So Blitz, shine up your teeth and take a nice big grin at all the boys down at Muscle Beach. Because next time they see you, you two will be about 15 lbs (of gold) lighter.
And Lenny Baby, you might want to go out and win yourself a title before bell time. Because the way I figure it, you all owe us one more golden for the one your boys cost us at the Battle Royal last week. And if you don't deliver the good, I might have to tell Slammy to collect his 7.5 pounds of gold from your teeth.
(Chip Friendly is in the HPSC locker room getting interviewed by his personal interviewer, Ed D'Enteviouer.)
ED: So Chip, it looks like The Highland Park Social Club's chance to grab some gold here in EPW has finally arrived.
CHIP: That it has, Ed. That it has. It's just a pity that the chance has come against a team so utterly undeserving of the gold that they carry.
ED: But Blitz has dominated pretty much every team they have stepped into the ring against.
CHIP: That doesn't matter. What makes them so undeserving is the fact that they are such horrible sports.
ED: What do you mean, Chip?
CHIP: What I mean is that in all of my time as the Nicest and Friendliest Man in Sports, I have seen a pair of worse losers than this pair. I mean, first Jecht comes in and phycically (and criminally) assualts me with a chair from behind because I had the audacity to defeat him fair and square in a wrestling contest. And then....
ED: Chip. People get attacked from behind with chairs all the time in our business.
CHIP: And people hit over 60 home runs all the time in baseball when they have there bodies pumped full with Beef-roids and Human Growth Hormone. That doesn't make it right.
ED: But Chip, you have been known to take a chair to a foe yourself in the past.
CHIP: Are you calling me a drug user, Ed?
ED: Um.... No...
CHIP: Good. Now let me get back to my point. So not only does The Jechtster balantly attack me because he can't defeat me in an honest and sporting fashion; but, then - after Dickie beats his swollen pal in a fair fight as well - they have to come running out while the Club is pulling double duty in the main event battle royal and illegally steal the World Title from us too.
ED: Don't you think that's a bit of a stretch. Even if one of you had won the Battle Royal (which was by no means a given), you still would have had to defeat Troy and four others this week at Unleashed to take the World Belt.
CHIP: Oh come on, now Ed. You've seen the competition here in EPW. (And I mean competition in the broad sense of the word). As world class as they might be in less talent circles, none of them but Kenny C is anywhere close to Clubworthy.
ED: I'd say that's probably up for debate....
CHIP: I am sure you would say that. But you'd also most likely say that "The Greatest Show on Earth" deserved to win the Oscar over "High Noon" back in 52.
ED: I have no idea what that even means Chip.
CHIP: It means that it would take a full scale consiracy of almost McCartyan to keep the Tag Belts off of us this week.
ED: Oh.
CHIP: I was a Twentieth-Century American History major in college.
ED: Oh. So what brought you into wrestling?
CHIP: I like to make people smile. So Blitz, shine up your teeth and take a nice big grin at all the boys down at Muscle Beach. Because next time they see you, you two will be about 15 lbs (of gold) lighter.
And Lenny Baby, you might want to go out and win yourself a title before bell time. Because the way I figure it, you all owe us one more golden for the one your boys cost us at the Battle Royal last week. And if you don't deliver the good, I might have to tell Slammy to collect his 7.5 pounds of gold from your teeth.
BigDaddy
League Member
Re: UNLEASHED: Blitz & Leonard Johnson vs. The Highland Park Social Club - EPW World Tag
Inside the southern headquarters of the Highland Park Social Club, Richard Farnswirth sits behind his desk. The Wall Street Journal is splayed out in front of him, and he sips a cup of coffee while reading it. As the camera gets closer, he folds the paper over and moves it aside.
Farnswirth: Several months ago now, when Dan Ryan first approached me about coming in to bolster his sadly lacking tag team ranks, he assured me that though the overall talent level were wanting, the champions themselves were a step above.
"They are towering men", he said. And coming from Ryan, that's indeed saying something since he's been known to bump his head on low-hanging chandeliers and to rip shirts open at the shoulder blades when he stretches out for a handshake. *cough*muscle-bound fat head*cough*
"They have dominated the other teams in the division like no other", he also said. Where? When? We have been in this federation for months now, and the only time I've seen them in the ring was them getting their asses handed to them by your friendly neighborhood HPSC. Any other time, they merely stand at the top of the ramp looking all imposing.
Sure, up there at the top of the ramp, with that weasly little mouthpiece of theirs in between them, they could be mistaken for a formidable team. They certainly do project a wonderful illusion. But bring them down to the ring, and between those ropes they are just another pair of chumps like the rest of the vermin we've run up against here so far.
I told Dan Ryan the day we put our names on his contract to consider the tag team belts ours. I hope he took me seriously. Because, you see, when Richard Farnswirth tells you what's going to happen, it is indeed money in the bank.
Richard turns and gets up out of his chair, stepping around to the front of his desk and leaning against it.
Farnswirth: And so, here we are, gentlemen.
The last time the cameras were rolling, the Chipster and I made the two of you look like fools. So much so, that you had to come after us during the battle royal when our attention was diverted.
I don't fault you for that. Quite honestly, it was probably your best chance at ever getting one up on us. You saw how soundly you were defeated one on one, and you just knew that it was only going to get worse. So, you tried to take a shortcut and strike first. Like I said, I don't fault you. It was a good plan.
But it's the execution that was off. You see, when you execute an attack like that, you must make it count. I simply can't stress that enough. Because when you leave us standing, like you have, all you've really done is ensure that taking your titles is no longer the only thing on our minds.
I'm sure by now you realize the stipulation this match will be fought under. Your little puppet master will not be outside the ring orchestrating your motions. He will be right up on that apron with you. At this point, he is probably sitting in a corner somewhere, curled up into a ball, and trembling. The cat not only has his tongue, but his manhood as well.
So far, he only has nightmares of the kinds of horrors that Slambo could possibly inflict upon him. After Unleashed, he will find out that the nightmares didn't even scratch the surface.
The tag team titles belong to the Highland Park Social Club now. Do be good little children and bring them to us nice and clean.
Inside the southern headquarters of the Highland Park Social Club, Richard Farnswirth sits behind his desk. The Wall Street Journal is splayed out in front of him, and he sips a cup of coffee while reading it. As the camera gets closer, he folds the paper over and moves it aside.
Farnswirth: Several months ago now, when Dan Ryan first approached me about coming in to bolster his sadly lacking tag team ranks, he assured me that though the overall talent level were wanting, the champions themselves were a step above.
"They are towering men", he said. And coming from Ryan, that's indeed saying something since he's been known to bump his head on low-hanging chandeliers and to rip shirts open at the shoulder blades when he stretches out for a handshake. *cough*muscle-bound fat head*cough*
"They have dominated the other teams in the division like no other", he also said. Where? When? We have been in this federation for months now, and the only time I've seen them in the ring was them getting their asses handed to them by your friendly neighborhood HPSC. Any other time, they merely stand at the top of the ramp looking all imposing.
Sure, up there at the top of the ramp, with that weasly little mouthpiece of theirs in between them, they could be mistaken for a formidable team. They certainly do project a wonderful illusion. But bring them down to the ring, and between those ropes they are just another pair of chumps like the rest of the vermin we've run up against here so far.
I told Dan Ryan the day we put our names on his contract to consider the tag team belts ours. I hope he took me seriously. Because, you see, when Richard Farnswirth tells you what's going to happen, it is indeed money in the bank.
Richard turns and gets up out of his chair, stepping around to the front of his desk and leaning against it.
Farnswirth: And so, here we are, gentlemen.
The last time the cameras were rolling, the Chipster and I made the two of you look like fools. So much so, that you had to come after us during the battle royal when our attention was diverted.
I don't fault you for that. Quite honestly, it was probably your best chance at ever getting one up on us. You saw how soundly you were defeated one on one, and you just knew that it was only going to get worse. So, you tried to take a shortcut and strike first. Like I said, I don't fault you. It was a good plan.
But it's the execution that was off. You see, when you execute an attack like that, you must make it count. I simply can't stress that enough. Because when you leave us standing, like you have, all you've really done is ensure that taking your titles is no longer the only thing on our minds.
I'm sure by now you realize the stipulation this match will be fought under. Your little puppet master will not be outside the ring orchestrating your motions. He will be right up on that apron with you. At this point, he is probably sitting in a corner somewhere, curled up into a ball, and trembling. The cat not only has his tongue, but his manhood as well.
So far, he only has nightmares of the kinds of horrors that Slambo could possibly inflict upon him. After Unleashed, he will find out that the nightmares didn't even scratch the surface.
The tag team titles belong to the Highland Park Social Club now. Do be good little children and bring them to us nice and clean.
EpyonMarx
New member
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- Nov 16, 2003
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Re: UNLEASHED: Blitz & Leonard Johnson vs. The Highland Park Social Club - EPW World Tag
Baby finally got his bottle.
[FADE IN. Leonard Johnson is sitting behind his desk. He’s wearing an immaculate suit, and strangely, is smiling]
LJ: It seems all the whining and crying has finally gotten you want you want, Farnswirth. And don’t you feel proud, getting a tag-team title match at a major Pay Per View, as opposed to a single’s title shot in some dime-a-dozen feeder promotion where the tickets are all given out as complimentary. And look at you – all puffed up and proud that you’ve managed to string together a semblance of a plan, asking Dan Ryan to give you an advantage going into this match by pitting the three members of your little tree-house club against two of the best in the world and a man who would be making his debut as an active wrestler.
Am I supposed to be impressed, child? You think that after almost twenty seven years in this industry, I didn’t see this coming?
Yes, Richard. I knew you’d ask Dan Ryan to put Slambo and myself in this match. It makes perfect sense. But, let me explain, in simple terms naturally since it’s the only way your “Me Farnswirth” mind will grasp what I have to say.
You see, as soon as I first saw you, I knew we would be facing you. I knew what would happen – that you would constantly harass Ryan’s office until he gave you the match to shut you up. I also knew from your match against Shane and Cloverleaf that you would try and weight the encounter with Max and Jecht in your favour. You see, having gone through six of the people who were in contention for the TV title, a belt that’s got more prestige than anything you’ve ever held, in the same match, Blitz proved their dominance. They proved that there was not a team in this industry who could win a war against the power, speed and teamwork they have perfected over the past few years. Thus, it became clear to me that, although it was yourself and Chip Friendly who were billed as the tag-team, you would again harass Ryan’s office until he put Slambo in the match.
Of course, you’re not stupid enough to think that that would be enough. You knew full well that even the three of you, as great as you are in the minor leagues, could not defeat Max and Jecht. Therefore, logic dictated that you’d ask for something else, and the most obvious thing you could harass Ryan about?
Getting a man closer to fifty than he is forty to make his debut as a wrestler. You guessed that if you could get me in the ring, I’d be no match for you. And you’re right – I gave up my dreams of winning world championships years ago. Instead, I’ve made it my job to manage champions. So, to say I’m not in a fit state to wrestle would be an understatement.
But, the one thing I do have, that you so obviously don’t, is the ability to plan ahead. I knew before Aggression what you would pull, and planned accordingly.
What is the plan? Still in motion. Only a fool makes a plan for the short-term. Only a greater fool makes the mistake of thinking that an attack has to cripple. You see, Farnswirth – unlike you, Max and Jecht know what they’re doing.
Of course, there’s the question of your regular partner, Chip Friendly. A man who claims not to be a drug user, but makes such outlandish statements that no man not high or tripping could be making them. The only shred of truth to come out of his mouth since his debut is that Ken Cloverleaf is the only member of the Empire Pro Wrestling roster who is worthy of his group – everyone else on the roster is simply too talented.
And then there’s Slambo. I have nothing bad to say about the pawn in Farnswirth’s game of chess. If anything, I pity him – because he is going to be an innocent victim of the most ruthless form of warfare that has ever been devised.
Yes, Blitz have a plan. Yes, it is effectively a handicap match at Unleashed. And yes, Max and Jecht will be walking away with their titles still intact. Because we know exactly what we’re doing.
But, Farnswirth, Slambo, and Friendly, ask yourself this – who is more the fool? The fool, or they that follow the fool?
[FADE OUT]
Baby finally got his bottle.
[FADE IN. Leonard Johnson is sitting behind his desk. He’s wearing an immaculate suit, and strangely, is smiling]
LJ: It seems all the whining and crying has finally gotten you want you want, Farnswirth. And don’t you feel proud, getting a tag-team title match at a major Pay Per View, as opposed to a single’s title shot in some dime-a-dozen feeder promotion where the tickets are all given out as complimentary. And look at you – all puffed up and proud that you’ve managed to string together a semblance of a plan, asking Dan Ryan to give you an advantage going into this match by pitting the three members of your little tree-house club against two of the best in the world and a man who would be making his debut as an active wrestler.
Am I supposed to be impressed, child? You think that after almost twenty seven years in this industry, I didn’t see this coming?
Yes, Richard. I knew you’d ask Dan Ryan to put Slambo and myself in this match. It makes perfect sense. But, let me explain, in simple terms naturally since it’s the only way your “Me Farnswirth” mind will grasp what I have to say.
You see, as soon as I first saw you, I knew we would be facing you. I knew what would happen – that you would constantly harass Ryan’s office until he gave you the match to shut you up. I also knew from your match against Shane and Cloverleaf that you would try and weight the encounter with Max and Jecht in your favour. You see, having gone through six of the people who were in contention for the TV title, a belt that’s got more prestige than anything you’ve ever held, in the same match, Blitz proved their dominance. They proved that there was not a team in this industry who could win a war against the power, speed and teamwork they have perfected over the past few years. Thus, it became clear to me that, although it was yourself and Chip Friendly who were billed as the tag-team, you would again harass Ryan’s office until he put Slambo in the match.
Of course, you’re not stupid enough to think that that would be enough. You knew full well that even the three of you, as great as you are in the minor leagues, could not defeat Max and Jecht. Therefore, logic dictated that you’d ask for something else, and the most obvious thing you could harass Ryan about?
Getting a man closer to fifty than he is forty to make his debut as a wrestler. You guessed that if you could get me in the ring, I’d be no match for you. And you’re right – I gave up my dreams of winning world championships years ago. Instead, I’ve made it my job to manage champions. So, to say I’m not in a fit state to wrestle would be an understatement.
But, the one thing I do have, that you so obviously don’t, is the ability to plan ahead. I knew before Aggression what you would pull, and planned accordingly.
What is the plan? Still in motion. Only a fool makes a plan for the short-term. Only a greater fool makes the mistake of thinking that an attack has to cripple. You see, Farnswirth – unlike you, Max and Jecht know what they’re doing.
Of course, there’s the question of your regular partner, Chip Friendly. A man who claims not to be a drug user, but makes such outlandish statements that no man not high or tripping could be making them. The only shred of truth to come out of his mouth since his debut is that Ken Cloverleaf is the only member of the Empire Pro Wrestling roster who is worthy of his group – everyone else on the roster is simply too talented.
And then there’s Slambo. I have nothing bad to say about the pawn in Farnswirth’s game of chess. If anything, I pity him – because he is going to be an innocent victim of the most ruthless form of warfare that has ever been devised.
Yes, Blitz have a plan. Yes, it is effectively a handicap match at Unleashed. And yes, Max and Jecht will be walking away with their titles still intact. Because we know exactly what we’re doing.
But, Farnswirth, Slambo, and Friendly, ask yourself this – who is more the fool? The fool, or they that follow the fool?
[FADE OUT]
Re: UNLEASHED: Blitz & Leonard Johnson vs. The Highland Park Social Club - EPW World Tag
Slambo the Clown tugs at a leather collar that he has been fitted with. There is a black box of some sort on one side of the collar that appears to be causing him some discomfort. He is riding in the back of one of the limos from Richard Farnswirth's fleet and staring out the window. He sees something that catches his attention and slams his face into the glass to get a better look.
Suddenly a plasma screen lowers from the cieling in the car. This grabs the clown's attention and he looks at it curiously, cocking his head to the side. The screen clicks to life and we see Richard Farnswirth sitting behind a massive oak desk. Slambo claps and waves at the image of his friend but gets obediently quiet as Richard begins to speak.
RF: Hello there Slambo. I'm sorry that I won't be able to join you on your field trip today, but I did want to remind you that this is not meant only as a recreational day for you. This is also a day for you to think about our upcoming match against Blitz and Leonard Johnson - you remember them don't you Slambo? So, as much as I want you to enjoy yourself today, I also want you to be thinking about your friends in the Highland Park Social Club and how Blitz and Mr. Johnson attacked us and how they don't want us to have any fun at all. And I especially want you to think about how happy the EPW Tag Team Championship Belts would make Chip and myself and how thankful we would be if you could find it within you to help us take them from Blitz. Alright Slambo, I'm very busy, so I will have to go now. But I'll see you when you get back and you can tell me all about your day.
The screen clicks to black and raises once again to the ceiling of the limo, which is now slowing down and pulling over. The car stops and Slambo cranes his neck back and forth, trying to get a good view out of the tinted windows. The door opens and light poors into the car. A large hand reaches in and grabs Slambo by the arm, dragging him out into the light. Slambo sheilds his eyes against the sun and allows them to adjust to the outdoors. When they do his eyes light up and the corners of his mouth curl up in a childish grin. Slambo looks around and sees Mr. Fikes. He then looks back in front of him but before he can make a motion forward Fikes grabs him by the shoulder and holds a finger up. He moves to the back of the limo motioning for Slambo to follow him which the clown does. Fikes opens the trunk and Slambo's mouth drops open. His eyes flash and he reaches greedily into the trunk. Fikes shakes his head as Slambo pulls out the rainbow painted sledgehammer and cradles it to his chest. He lets out a giddy squeal and then takes off running.
The camera shifts and we see the clown barrelling full steam towards a construction sight...or rather...a destruction sight, as the building that stands there now is clearly being gutted and prepped for demolition. A sign on a nearby chain link fence reads "Future Sight of Another Farnswirth Enterprise."
A commotion can be heard from inside the building as grown men scatter at the sight of Slambo. One of them yells that this is a hardhat only area only to turn and see the maniacal, hammer weilding Clown making a b-line right for him. The foreman dives out of the way as Slambo drives his hammer into what used to be a decorative column. Back at the car Fikes closes the trunk and starts to walk towards the site, then snaps his fingers and turns around, retrieving a small remote control from the front seat. Just in time too as when he turns he finds that Slambo has discovered the bulldozer. Remembering his boss's orders Fikes breaks into a jog, aiming to stop Slambo before he has too much fun.
A large construction worker stands in Slambo's way as he heads for the dozer, but Slambo quickly dispatches him with a kick that hyperextends his knee and leaves him rolling on the dusty ground in agony. The bulldozer operator sees this and leaps from the vehicle, turning it over to the clown voluntarily. Slambo smiles and approaches the machine. Fikes waits patiently. Slambo reaches out to touch the tread and just as his fingers make contact Fikes presses a button on the remote sending a pulse of electricity through Slambo's body via the collar on his neck. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to make him notice. Fikes smiles as Slambo falls to the ground and cries out involuntarily.
Slambo shakes off the jolt and gets back to his feet...looking at the bulldozer suspicously. He takes a cautious step towards it, then one back. He looks at his hand, then looks around. He approaces the bulldozer and once again, slowly puts his hand out towards it. And again at just the right time Fikes shocks him. This time Slambo maintains his footing and lets out a cry filled more with anger than pain. Slambo looks around at all that is to be destroyed. He longs for the bulldozer, but understands that it just isn't worth it. He turns his back on it and runs back towards the building picking up his hammer along the way. As he enters through a hole in the side wall Slambo screams in abject joy as Mr. Fikes once again shakes his head, disappointed that the lesson was learned so quickly.
Slambo the Clown tugs at a leather collar that he has been fitted with. There is a black box of some sort on one side of the collar that appears to be causing him some discomfort. He is riding in the back of one of the limos from Richard Farnswirth's fleet and staring out the window. He sees something that catches his attention and slams his face into the glass to get a better look.
Suddenly a plasma screen lowers from the cieling in the car. This grabs the clown's attention and he looks at it curiously, cocking his head to the side. The screen clicks to life and we see Richard Farnswirth sitting behind a massive oak desk. Slambo claps and waves at the image of his friend but gets obediently quiet as Richard begins to speak.
RF: Hello there Slambo. I'm sorry that I won't be able to join you on your field trip today, but I did want to remind you that this is not meant only as a recreational day for you. This is also a day for you to think about our upcoming match against Blitz and Leonard Johnson - you remember them don't you Slambo? So, as much as I want you to enjoy yourself today, I also want you to be thinking about your friends in the Highland Park Social Club and how Blitz and Mr. Johnson attacked us and how they don't want us to have any fun at all. And I especially want you to think about how happy the EPW Tag Team Championship Belts would make Chip and myself and how thankful we would be if you could find it within you to help us take them from Blitz. Alright Slambo, I'm very busy, so I will have to go now. But I'll see you when you get back and you can tell me all about your day.
The screen clicks to black and raises once again to the ceiling of the limo, which is now slowing down and pulling over. The car stops and Slambo cranes his neck back and forth, trying to get a good view out of the tinted windows. The door opens and light poors into the car. A large hand reaches in and grabs Slambo by the arm, dragging him out into the light. Slambo sheilds his eyes against the sun and allows them to adjust to the outdoors. When they do his eyes light up and the corners of his mouth curl up in a childish grin. Slambo looks around and sees Mr. Fikes. He then looks back in front of him but before he can make a motion forward Fikes grabs him by the shoulder and holds a finger up. He moves to the back of the limo motioning for Slambo to follow him which the clown does. Fikes opens the trunk and Slambo's mouth drops open. His eyes flash and he reaches greedily into the trunk. Fikes shakes his head as Slambo pulls out the rainbow painted sledgehammer and cradles it to his chest. He lets out a giddy squeal and then takes off running.
The camera shifts and we see the clown barrelling full steam towards a construction sight...or rather...a destruction sight, as the building that stands there now is clearly being gutted and prepped for demolition. A sign on a nearby chain link fence reads "Future Sight of Another Farnswirth Enterprise."
A commotion can be heard from inside the building as grown men scatter at the sight of Slambo. One of them yells that this is a hardhat only area only to turn and see the maniacal, hammer weilding Clown making a b-line right for him. The foreman dives out of the way as Slambo drives his hammer into what used to be a decorative column. Back at the car Fikes closes the trunk and starts to walk towards the site, then snaps his fingers and turns around, retrieving a small remote control from the front seat. Just in time too as when he turns he finds that Slambo has discovered the bulldozer. Remembering his boss's orders Fikes breaks into a jog, aiming to stop Slambo before he has too much fun.
A large construction worker stands in Slambo's way as he heads for the dozer, but Slambo quickly dispatches him with a kick that hyperextends his knee and leaves him rolling on the dusty ground in agony. The bulldozer operator sees this and leaps from the vehicle, turning it over to the clown voluntarily. Slambo smiles and approaches the machine. Fikes waits patiently. Slambo reaches out to touch the tread and just as his fingers make contact Fikes presses a button on the remote sending a pulse of electricity through Slambo's body via the collar on his neck. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to make him notice. Fikes smiles as Slambo falls to the ground and cries out involuntarily.
Slambo shakes off the jolt and gets back to his feet...looking at the bulldozer suspicously. He takes a cautious step towards it, then one back. He looks at his hand, then looks around. He approaces the bulldozer and once again, slowly puts his hand out towards it. And again at just the right time Fikes shocks him. This time Slambo maintains his footing and lets out a cry filled more with anger than pain. Slambo looks around at all that is to be destroyed. He longs for the bulldozer, but understands that it just isn't worth it. He turns his back on it and runs back towards the building picking up his hammer along the way. As he enters through a hole in the side wall Slambo screams in abject joy as Mr. Fikes once again shakes his head, disappointed that the lesson was learned so quickly.
EpyonMarx
New member
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- Nov 16, 2003
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- Nottingham, England
- Website
- www.karl-brown.co.uk
Re: UNLEASHED: Blitz & Leonard Johnson vs. The Highland Park Social Club - EPW World Tag
[FADE IN. Leonard Johnson is standing in front of an EPW UNLEASHED! backdrop. Max and Jecht are standing either side of him, Max in denim, Jecht in a black T-shirt and leather trousers. Each has their Empire Pro Wrestling World Tag Team Championship belt over their shoulder, as Leonard stands dressed as always in a suit]
LJ: And again, I’m made to feel sympathy for Slambo the Clown. Getting shocked and not being left to play happily with the bulldozer – I know Richard tries to be your friend, Slambo. He tries hard, and he didn’t want to see you plunging into the building on top of a piece of machinery without protection adequate enough for you. But the least he could have done is asked his lackey to leave you alone to play. Or he could have told you he wasn’t going to let you play with the bulldozer. Then again, given something he’s said before
[CUTTO: footage from the promotional segments for the HSPC vs. Priest and Eisenkreuz match from Aggression]
Farnswirth snaps his fingers, and Fikes appears in short order.
Farnswirth: Go downstairs and check on Slambo. It's critical that he believe Kenny has abandoned him for the plan to work properly. Make sure he understands that.
The camera fades as Fikes disappears.
[CUTBACK to Leonard and Blitz]
LJ: I’m not surprised. Maybe it’s because he knows if he were to ever get on your bad side, you are more than capable of destroying him and his tree-house club. If I were in his position, I’d certainly want to make sure you knew I was your friend, and had only your best interests in mind.
[Leonard leans forward into the camera, coming across, surprisingly, as very sincere – almost fatherly]
LJ: Which is why I’m sorry for what Max and Jecht are going to have to do at Unleashed, Slambo. You see, Max and Jecht, they enjoy being the champions. They enjoy competing in the ring. They enjoy winning matches. And, as much as it pains me to say this, they’re going to have to make sure on the night that Richard and Chip don’t have any fun. It’s not that Richard and Chip are bad people – it’s that Max and Jecht want to have fun and stay champions. I’m sorry – but afterwards, you’re more than happy to come and join in the celebrations with them. Bring Richard and Chip along too – the six of us can go out and have all the fun you want after the match. We can all be friends.
[He stands back up, straightening his jacket and reverting to a more business-like tone]
LJ: During the match, it’s all business. The smart money, if you ask Las Vegas, is to bet on the team with the numerical advantage. To bet on the team that is known for storming right the way through a bottom-of-the-barrel league, for getting their own way, and for using their numerical advantage to beat down anyone who gets in their way. Unfortunately for them, they have never come across a team as cohesive as Blitz. They’ve never come across two men this size and with this speed. They’ve never come across the PERFECT combination of power and speed in this industry. The only things Chip Friendly has come across are the eight year old boys Farnswirth keeps in his attic.
Max: Herr Johnson?
LJ: Yes?
Jecht: There’s no need to stoop to his level.
Max: Ja. There is auch no need to be anything more than direct.
Jecht: They have no chance in hell of beating us for these titles. All that Farnswirth and Friendly are going to get are casts if they even try to take these belts from us.
Max: Und Freund Slambo? He gets to have fun afterwards, doing whatever he wants. Farnswirth is not going to be able to stop him having as much fun as he wants for a while.
Jecht: It’ll be hard for him to stop Slambo whilst he’s taking food in through a drip.
LJ: True. Highland Park Social Club – you think you have us figured out. You think you have us beaten. Bring anyone you want – they still won’t be enough. The question you should be asking is not how the title belts will look around your waists.
It’s can you survive the Blitzkrieg.
[FADE OUT]
[FADE IN. Leonard Johnson is standing in front of an EPW UNLEASHED! backdrop. Max and Jecht are standing either side of him, Max in denim, Jecht in a black T-shirt and leather trousers. Each has their Empire Pro Wrestling World Tag Team Championship belt over their shoulder, as Leonard stands dressed as always in a suit]
LJ: And again, I’m made to feel sympathy for Slambo the Clown. Getting shocked and not being left to play happily with the bulldozer – I know Richard tries to be your friend, Slambo. He tries hard, and he didn’t want to see you plunging into the building on top of a piece of machinery without protection adequate enough for you. But the least he could have done is asked his lackey to leave you alone to play. Or he could have told you he wasn’t going to let you play with the bulldozer. Then again, given something he’s said before
[CUTTO: footage from the promotional segments for the HSPC vs. Priest and Eisenkreuz match from Aggression]
Farnswirth snaps his fingers, and Fikes appears in short order.
Farnswirth: Go downstairs and check on Slambo. It's critical that he believe Kenny has abandoned him for the plan to work properly. Make sure he understands that.
The camera fades as Fikes disappears.
[CUTBACK to Leonard and Blitz]
LJ: I’m not surprised. Maybe it’s because he knows if he were to ever get on your bad side, you are more than capable of destroying him and his tree-house club. If I were in his position, I’d certainly want to make sure you knew I was your friend, and had only your best interests in mind.
[Leonard leans forward into the camera, coming across, surprisingly, as very sincere – almost fatherly]
LJ: Which is why I’m sorry for what Max and Jecht are going to have to do at Unleashed, Slambo. You see, Max and Jecht, they enjoy being the champions. They enjoy competing in the ring. They enjoy winning matches. And, as much as it pains me to say this, they’re going to have to make sure on the night that Richard and Chip don’t have any fun. It’s not that Richard and Chip are bad people – it’s that Max and Jecht want to have fun and stay champions. I’m sorry – but afterwards, you’re more than happy to come and join in the celebrations with them. Bring Richard and Chip along too – the six of us can go out and have all the fun you want after the match. We can all be friends.
[He stands back up, straightening his jacket and reverting to a more business-like tone]
LJ: During the match, it’s all business. The smart money, if you ask Las Vegas, is to bet on the team with the numerical advantage. To bet on the team that is known for storming right the way through a bottom-of-the-barrel league, for getting their own way, and for using their numerical advantage to beat down anyone who gets in their way. Unfortunately for them, they have never come across a team as cohesive as Blitz. They’ve never come across two men this size and with this speed. They’ve never come across the PERFECT combination of power and speed in this industry. The only things Chip Friendly has come across are the eight year old boys Farnswirth keeps in his attic.
Max: Herr Johnson?
LJ: Yes?
Jecht: There’s no need to stoop to his level.
Max: Ja. There is auch no need to be anything more than direct.
Jecht: They have no chance in hell of beating us for these titles. All that Farnswirth and Friendly are going to get are casts if they even try to take these belts from us.
Max: Und Freund Slambo? He gets to have fun afterwards, doing whatever he wants. Farnswirth is not going to be able to stop him having as much fun as he wants for a while.
Jecht: It’ll be hard for him to stop Slambo whilst he’s taking food in through a drip.
LJ: True. Highland Park Social Club – you think you have us figured out. You think you have us beaten. Bring anyone you want – they still won’t be enough. The question you should be asking is not how the title belts will look around your waists.
It’s can you survive the Blitzkrieg.
[FADE OUT]