Re: WFW Great Expectations: Cameron Cruise Project vs. Troy Douglas & Bryan Storms
(CUTTO: Darkness.)
“Just let him straddle your head.”
“Cameron you’re in enough trouble as it is, do yourself a favor and say not a word more.”
“Would you stop emasculating Cruise? Please? Can you do that for me honey? It’s taken me a year to get him to understand people aren’t supposed to walk over him at will. Don’t need the dominate wife routine outside of the bedroom adding to our troubles.”
“Oh right. Joey Melton. He saved every one of us, ah ah!”
“Quiet you fools. Somebody make this b**** bend down so I can mount her. And hurry up, I’ve gotta ****.”
“I hate every one of you!”
A second passes, but it seems like oh so much longer.
“Cruise hand Adrian the camera. Swing your other leg around---yeah that’s it. How’s that feel?”
“Like the back of my neck’s being held at gunpoint.”
“Okay, that’s just not right.”
“You’re a trooper, baby. You know I love you, right?”
“Start filming this damn thing so I can get this dick off me.”
(CUTTO: A camera view of Joey Melton, and Cameron Cruise standing in front of a door.)
“Count down Adrian, let’s keep a mode of professionalism here.”
Mercedes laughs sarcastically, “You’re not going to be able to dig your way out of this one in another minute, at this rate.”
“In five, four, three, two…”
“Hello WFW fans, this is Joey Melton…”
“And I’m Cameron Cruise!”
“And yes he seems strangely happy about that. Just kidding Cameron. See, an example of the non-threatening humor that plays so well between us,” Melton feigns a deep laugh.
Cameron chuckles, with a strained look on his face as if he’s pondering why he dreams in first person. “That’s why we work so well together. Start and end the day with a smile, right Joseph?”
“Today, the Cameron Cruise Project’s on the trail of Troy Douglas, and the name he drew out of a hat!”
“Bryan Storms,” a low voice off screen offers.
“No…that’s not it. Anyway, Mr. Douglas and his boyfriend have chosen not to help the Cameron Cruise Project promote, and market their upcoming first round tournament match.”
A scattering of boos off camera.
“As you can imagine, neither Cruise or I are happy about this shocking turn of events. Despite the record gates, the merchandise, the World Titles, Awards, the women…the women Mercedes knows about, the plastic molded replicas of our dicks, and free and easy access to prescription drugs Cammy and I are most proud of two things.”
“Staying drug free in an era where men like Dan Ryan and Beast have adult teeth, and hair spawning from the sides of their necks due to anabolic steroid abuse. And…”
“Never being afraid to answer the bell.”
“Well, except for that one time when you left me in the middle of the match to chase tail.”
Melton seems caught off guard. “True. And I thought we moved past that?”
Cruise shrugs.
“But, fans, don’t worry. I’m currently ****** that piece of ass, so all is well. At least one of us got the job done that night, eh Cruise?”
Cameron forces a grin, “Ancient history now, as we’re both here, and pulling our own weight. Novel concept, I know Joey.”
“Pulling our own weight. Right. Which is exactly what Troy Douglas and…”
“The name he drew out of a hat…”
“Aren’t doing. What the Project hates more than anything is being taken for granted. Co-workers just assuming that we’ll do all the grunt work and make them look like a million bucks.”
“While it’s true, Joey, that if you’re not the Project, you’re in the rough…only one in ten of you are potential diamonds.”
“I’m tired of making other people look good. Yes, I am your Wrestling God. Yes, partners of mine have gone on to win the UNIFIED WORLD title, or bed Kelly Ripa in a moment of marital weakness. In my best years, I created a clone army strong enough to conquer the Separatists battle droids. Men in the CSWA locker room have screwed my sister Teri for years just to have a taste of the same DNA. And men like Troy Windham and Eddy Love know all the notes I laid down back in the day. But, it’s never the same.”
“Can we focus please?”
“Which brings me back to Troy Douglas. A Greensboro native. A kid who grew up idolizing yours truly. Someone who should’ve taken pleasure in having his ass kicked by the Cameron Cruise Project.”
“But, Douglas and the name he drew out of a hat, have closed the doors to the WFW cameras.”
“Not today. We’re at the childhood home of Troy Douglas, in Greensboro. Rumor has it, he may be inside, HIDING from the Cameron Cruise Project.”
“I’d love to get inside and make him cut a promo, but…chances are, Joey, the door is locked!”
“Right, Cruise! Lucky for us, the Mayor of Greensboro gave me a key to the city, in 1998!”
Melton reaches behind him and pulls out a giant, yellow key.
(SLOPPY CUT TO: Melton and Cruise with stupid grins on their faces, standing inside “Troy Douglas’ living room.”)
“Wow, what do you know, Cameron, the key really worked.”
“Hey, it’s the key to the city. There’s no door in Greensboro you can’t open!”
Cruise and Melton are startled at the sounds of glass breaking.
“What the?”
“That came from the back bedroom, last door on your right, I think…wild guess…”
They take off running down the hall. “Let’s investigate team, shall we?”
(CRUDE CUT TO: Bed room. Melton and Cruise stand in bewilderment at “Troy Douglas’ old bed room.” The walls are covered with Melton posters, articles, autograph pictures, and Polaroids taken without his consent.)
“Wow. Geez, Douglas, obsess much?”
“I’m in Psycho Ville and Douglas is the Mayor,” Adrian quietly chimes in.
“Hey look at the window! Is that Troy Douglas and the name he drew out of a hat?”
The camera zooms out of the broken window, and catches two men fleeing on foot into the wilderness.
“Troy!” Melton sticks his head out of the window and screams, “We just want a word!”
“Joey Melton!”
The camera cuts to the closet where a woman, dressed in a CSWA Melton T-shirt, cut-off jeans, and her hair done in pigtails steps out. Her face glows.
“Joey Melton!!!”
“This can’t end well.”
“You’ve finally come back to see me! You promised you’d call! But, over ten years later…you’ve done the next best thing. You’ve come to my home, to make me a woman!”
“That’s it, I’m gone.”
Mercedes throws Adrian off her back, and storms out. Evans hits the floor with a thud, and the camera crashes with him. Miraculously it’s still filming, albeit with a slanted view.
“My, it’s Troy Douglas’ deranged kid sister, who I mistakenly bedded some years ago. Yes, Cumdeana, it’s really me.”
“Joey, baby, I love you!”
Cumdeana attacks Melton, throwing him on her bed.
“I’m a wildcat, hear me roaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar.”
“No way we’re still filming…”
(FTB)