NotorisSTD
League Member
Hi kids. Here’s an interview conducted over a telephone by the journalistic supermen of www.wrestlingeek.com...
GEEK: So I um, guess I’ll start off with a question you’re probably sick of answering…
MWG: The sex change thing?
GEEK: Right.
MWG: (sighs)…A phase, really. I mean, I never really wanted to be a woman, to tell you the truth. I sort of figured, if maybe if I wasn’t 100% happy with the person I was, then I should do the worst thing I could possibly imagine to myself, and then I’d be able to rebuild from scratch.
GEEK: Mkay.
MWG: But after about a year of what they call “real life training,” where you take the hormones and get the ##### implants and what have you, right before I was supposed to go in for the final surgery, I realized being a woman was actually wonderful. I got into clubs for free, and People bought me drinks when I got there, and held doors for me, and I could watch Gilmoore Girls with other people in the room without getting laughed at, and all I had to do was flash somebody to get frickin’ ANYTHING I wanted. So if I really wanted to follow through with an identity reassignment, which was infinitely more intriguing to me than living the rest of my life as a swingin’ chick, what I should Really do is return to wrestling, which is what pretty much like, destroyed my life originally. That’s where all my less noble qualities are rewarded with loads of money, and amazing sex, all the booze and drugs I can hold down, and ah, the constant attention! Splendid it is…
GEEK: A lot of homosexual organizations wanted you lynched, feeling that your persona equated homosexuality and insanity. You’ve always denied this?
MWG: Absolutely. It’s not my responsibility to represent an entire sec of humanity just because I’m on television. I happen to be eccentric and sexually ambiguous. It’s not like Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo’s last gimmick was like, MY fault or something. If wrestling fans come off as homophobes everyonce in a while, it’s because they’re aware that they’re watching guys in their underpants snuggling each other. I always figured it was more about, y’know, keeping the sport from turning into a big ole gay prono….If only it could stay in a happy medium somewhere. (cackles good naturedly)
GEEK: So like, what is your deal now? You were Bisexual, then you were almost straight, then you were wicked wicked gay, and so like….what now?
MWG: Y’know what? Labels bore me. It’s ridiculous how we feel this need to classify everyone into little groups. I’m M.W….and you’re whatever your name is…and that’s enough.
GEEK: Yeah, you’re going by M.W. Grossard now instead of Madonna Wanye Grossard? Why’s that?
MWG: The um…old drummer from Marilyn Manson threatened ah, y’know, like, legal action.
GEEK: Huh. That’s odd. Twiggy never sued that one wrestler who was using his name.
MWG: Right. Well Twiggy’s in a Perfect Circle now, and Madonna Wayne Gacy has probably been living in his parents basement since he left Manson. So, s’like, y’know, guess which one is running out of coke money.
GEEK: Ah, yes yes. I’ve got one last question, and then I’ll let you go.
MWG: You can’t stump me, baby. Let the good times roll…
GEEK: Certain peoples within the wrestling industry, some wielding considerable power, have criticized you, stating the reason you never won over the American audience is you were basically a bump taking gimmick. They say you’re a flake, with little work ethic, and a giant ego in spite of how little you actually contributed to the industry. That you’re an alcoholic and a pill popper, who’s sexual deviation and lack of restraint has probably loaded you up with STDs yet to be discovered. They’ve asked, on the record, why you really bothered returning? If not 5 years ago when someone might’ve cared, why not never? You maybe did beat Maelstrom once, but They say you weren’t really anything special in the ring, except maybe for the bumps and all the showmanship, but now that your body’s been hacked to pieces and abused god knows how many other ways, people are surprised you can walk and digest food at the same time, forget wrestle. According to sources close to Scott Malec, even the man who green lighted your return has worried out loud that this might be a more ill-conceived comeback than Jake Roberts’s born again Christian fiasco and the last 5 returns of the Ultimate Warrior put together. How do you respond to all this?
(brief silence)
GEEK: M.W?
MWG: Oh, whu?
GEEK: how do you ah, respond to those allegations?
MWG: Oh. I’m sorry, hun, I wasn’t listening. What’s all that again?
GEEK: So I um, guess I’ll start off with a question you’re probably sick of answering…
MWG: The sex change thing?
GEEK: Right.
MWG: (sighs)…A phase, really. I mean, I never really wanted to be a woman, to tell you the truth. I sort of figured, if maybe if I wasn’t 100% happy with the person I was, then I should do the worst thing I could possibly imagine to myself, and then I’d be able to rebuild from scratch.
GEEK: Mkay.
MWG: But after about a year of what they call “real life training,” where you take the hormones and get the ##### implants and what have you, right before I was supposed to go in for the final surgery, I realized being a woman was actually wonderful. I got into clubs for free, and People bought me drinks when I got there, and held doors for me, and I could watch Gilmoore Girls with other people in the room without getting laughed at, and all I had to do was flash somebody to get frickin’ ANYTHING I wanted. So if I really wanted to follow through with an identity reassignment, which was infinitely more intriguing to me than living the rest of my life as a swingin’ chick, what I should Really do is return to wrestling, which is what pretty much like, destroyed my life originally. That’s where all my less noble qualities are rewarded with loads of money, and amazing sex, all the booze and drugs I can hold down, and ah, the constant attention! Splendid it is…
GEEK: A lot of homosexual organizations wanted you lynched, feeling that your persona equated homosexuality and insanity. You’ve always denied this?
MWG: Absolutely. It’s not my responsibility to represent an entire sec of humanity just because I’m on television. I happen to be eccentric and sexually ambiguous. It’s not like Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo’s last gimmick was like, MY fault or something. If wrestling fans come off as homophobes everyonce in a while, it’s because they’re aware that they’re watching guys in their underpants snuggling each other. I always figured it was more about, y’know, keeping the sport from turning into a big ole gay prono….If only it could stay in a happy medium somewhere. (cackles good naturedly)
GEEK: So like, what is your deal now? You were Bisexual, then you were almost straight, then you were wicked wicked gay, and so like….what now?
MWG: Y’know what? Labels bore me. It’s ridiculous how we feel this need to classify everyone into little groups. I’m M.W….and you’re whatever your name is…and that’s enough.
GEEK: Yeah, you’re going by M.W. Grossard now instead of Madonna Wanye Grossard? Why’s that?
MWG: The um…old drummer from Marilyn Manson threatened ah, y’know, like, legal action.
GEEK: Huh. That’s odd. Twiggy never sued that one wrestler who was using his name.
MWG: Right. Well Twiggy’s in a Perfect Circle now, and Madonna Wayne Gacy has probably been living in his parents basement since he left Manson. So, s’like, y’know, guess which one is running out of coke money.
GEEK: Ah, yes yes. I’ve got one last question, and then I’ll let you go.
MWG: You can’t stump me, baby. Let the good times roll…
GEEK: Certain peoples within the wrestling industry, some wielding considerable power, have criticized you, stating the reason you never won over the American audience is you were basically a bump taking gimmick. They say you’re a flake, with little work ethic, and a giant ego in spite of how little you actually contributed to the industry. That you’re an alcoholic and a pill popper, who’s sexual deviation and lack of restraint has probably loaded you up with STDs yet to be discovered. They’ve asked, on the record, why you really bothered returning? If not 5 years ago when someone might’ve cared, why not never? You maybe did beat Maelstrom once, but They say you weren’t really anything special in the ring, except maybe for the bumps and all the showmanship, but now that your body’s been hacked to pieces and abused god knows how many other ways, people are surprised you can walk and digest food at the same time, forget wrestle. According to sources close to Scott Malec, even the man who green lighted your return has worried out loud that this might be a more ill-conceived comeback than Jake Roberts’s born again Christian fiasco and the last 5 returns of the Ultimate Warrior put together. How do you respond to all this?
(brief silence)
GEEK: M.W?
MWG: Oh, whu?
GEEK: how do you ah, respond to those allegations?
MWG: Oh. I’m sorry, hun, I wasn’t listening. What’s all that again?