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World Tag Team Championship: Jack n' Hoff v Cruise & Problem Child (c)


Jan 1, 2000
San Francisco, CA
All RP for the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP match between JACK n' HOFF and CAMERON CRUISE & PROBLEM CHILD (c) at New ERA Destrucity II should be posted in this thread.

* For storyline purposes, this match is happening on the same day as EPW Aggression 50 and Sin City Showdown.

The RP Deadline is JANUARY 31 @ 11:59pm PST.

All angles should be sent to neweraofwrestling@gmail.com

... enjoy!


League Member
Jan 11, 2006
Cape Cod
(Jack bounces up and down.)

“Let’s DO this!”

(Jack throws a left hook through the air.)

“You know you want to!”

(He throws a right and another left.)

“Dude, get away from me.”

(Hoff walks by him. As he does he pushes him. Jack stumbles, tripping over his own two feet, and falls onto the couch.)

“Oh! You’re gonna get it, biaaatch!”

(Jack flings himself off the couch and flies at his tag team partner. Hoff sidesteps him and Jack goes running into the chair.)

“Dude, we have a match to prepare for. The big match.”

(Jack pushes himself up and brushes himself off.)

“I know! That’s why we should spar!”

(Jack puts up his fists and playfully pokes Hoff. Hoff looks at him.)

“What we need to do is sit down and come up with a fool proof plan.”

(Jack puts his fists down.)

“You’re no fun, man.”

(Hoff sits down in the chair that Jack got out of.)

“Oh well. Now listen, Cruise and Problem Child aren’t just going to roll over and play dead like Benjamin and Maxwell.”

(Jack laughs.)

“The Saviors of Wrestling. They couldn’t even save themselves!”

“Well, this is different. This is a title match, man.”

“Oooo, big match.”

(Jack walks over to the fridge and takes out the orange juice. He pops the top off and takes a swig.)

“We got this! Problem Child didn’t do jack to get the title. He and Cruise haven’t even wrestled together. You think we need a gameplan for that?!”

(Hoff gets out of the chair and goes over to the kitchen. He takes the juice bottle out of Jack’s hands and puts the cap back on.)

“Yes. And stop doing that. By the time we get to the bottom all it is is your backwash.”

(Hoff puts the orange juice back in the fridge.)

“Now listen, please, for the love of God, listen.”

(Jack begins to walk out of the kitchen but Hoff grabs him and pushes him into one of the bar stools.)

“Cruise is ripe for the picking. He’ll most likely be focused on the Television title match. Problem Child is who we have to look out for. He’s the wild card.”

“What is this, Uno? Am I going to have to Draw Four?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Is idiot a Skip or a Draw Two?”

(Hoff throws his hands in the air.)

“Problem Child went through some good guys to get the title. Even if he doesn’t deserve it.”

“All he had to do was wrestle by himself! He didn’t have to work with anyone. Does he even know the intimacies of tag team wrestling?”

(Hoff looks at Jack.)


“Yea, that.”

“I don’t know. We’re going to find out though, and we have to be ready.”

“I would be ready if you’d spar with me.”

(Hoff breathes in slowly, trying not to punch his partner in the face.)

“Find out what you can about Problem Child.”

“He’s a problem. And he was last popular when I was a child.”

“You still are a child.”


(Jack gets up and smacks Hoff across the face.)

“I resemble that remark!”

(Instead of planting his tag partner in the face, Hoff begins to laugh. Jack steps back confused.)




(Hoff falls onto the chair holding his stomach.)


(The camera fades out to the sound of Hoff’s laughter.)


I spoil things.
Jan 1, 2000
Merced, California USA
"So let me get this straight...."

(Fadein on a New Era "Destrucity II" backdrop, Cameron Cruise dressed in black jeans and a black New Era "Destrucity II PPV" T-shirt with a pair of black Anarchy Shades. Wearing the New Era Television Championship title strapped on one shoulder and one half of the New Era Tag Team Championship titles strapped around the other shoulder Cruise holds them to his shoulders as he slowly he paces back and forth in front of the backdrop.)

CRUISE: In the last month or so....I've dealt with a man with no master, a man who's moniker implies that he doesn't even know his real name...but then acts as if we're old friends playing cards at the local pub.....I've watched a tournament come about with the winner my new partner a little more thick in the wallet, but shallow in the head.....

(Cruise sighs)

....it's bad enough that Marcus LaRoque, the New ERA President, deemed it a necessary evil to take place in that I face both John Doe AND Erik Black in rapid succession....but to make matters worse....

My first defense of the New Era Tag Team titles with a man in my corner NOT named Joey Melton....and it's against a couple of kids named.....

(Cruise shoots out "Finger quotes".)

"Jack 'n' Hoff ".

I'm going to say it one more time, though I might phrase it differently.....

I've been competing in this business for almost 15 years.

I've competed against a man who's driven a wooden stake through another man's knee in order to make a point.

I've competed against a man who had himself restrained while he had his mouth sewn shut so he wouldn't be able to say the words "I Quit".

I've wrestled in Triple Flaming Table matches.

I've wrestled in Boiler Rooms.

I've even wrestled an Alligator in the 'glades and then three days later perform in a Charity show for sick Billy Cundiff in his parents back yard.

But ya know....I just don't think I've had any problems with "Jack n' Hoff".

Now, believe me when I tell you that I've made myself successful enough that I never had a worry about it to begin with, but then again....the opponents that myself and Problem Child have to face are barely even legal enough to vote or purchase tobacco, let alone able to set foot in a Gentleman's Strip Club or Topless bar.

I will let you fellas in on a secret however; as much as I've been successful as of late in singles competition, Tag Team wrestling...as much as it's become abit of a "lost art" recently....is not just a specialty of mine.

It's what I do BEST.

So you boys go ahead and take turns playing "Tickle Monster" and "Patty Cake" and "Grab Ass", that's okay with me.

In the meantime, I'll be in the Gym preparing for the biggest night of YOUR wrestling lives.

Whether or not you believe it....well then I guess that's just a REALITY CHECK that you just...won't like.



Where's my money, Chad?
Jul 3, 1997
The Silk Road

PC: Damn it Cammy, you're out of your element! You leave the Jack 'N Hoff to me! By the way, that's the catchiest name since Problem Child; gotta love when the setup IS the punchline. I used to think of myself as the biggest dick joke in wrestling, but clearly I've been one-upped, er- two-upped? Double-teamed? Alright, enough! You two dingleberries need to STOP PLAYING F*CKING PATTYCAKE AND GET SERIOUS! You're about to face the team of Problem Child and Other Guy. I'm innit ta winnit, ya know what I'm talking about here?

I'm a GREAT tag team partner. You don't gotta worry about a thing with me, dude. I'm definitely NOT gonna walk out on you mid-match.

Man, you know you're terrible when Cameron Cruise is verbally b*tch slapping you. Feel the shame boys, FEEL THE SHAME! You're gonna job out to me and Cammy like you've never jobbed before, and then you're gonna suck each other's dicks or somethin' in the back. Trust me, I'm like the f*cking Nostradamus of wrestling; when I say sh*t, it comes true 500 years later through liberal interpretation and stuff.

Ok cool, later.


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