WRESTLEVERSE III - Crimson Calling vs. Mystery Opponents
- Thread starter DBrunkGXW
- Start date
(Fade in from black, to the interior of Nathan Fear's private residence, specifically in his private gym. It's a very upscale, expensive, and Rocky IV-ish looking room with notable Soviet and Communist athletes to have emerged during the Cold War.)
(No Dolph Lundgren, though. That kinda sucks.)
(Anyhoo, standing there in the middle of the gym are none other than "The Former ESCAPE ARTIST" Erik Black and "The Ex-RAGING RUSSIAN" Ivan Dalkichev, looking rather casual. Black is unshaved, wearing a floral print shirt so atrociously loud, it practically stings the eye. Dalkichev is clad in his mesa-toned "Dude" poncho. They both bear the obvious stoner smirks, and happen to be holding a pair of gifts.)
Erik Black
Happy Four-Twenty, 'Van the Man!
(Erik hands over his present.)
Ivan Dalkichev
Oh, far out, 'Rikki-Tikki-Tavi!
(Dalkichev removes the wrapping, and finds...)
Ivan Dalkichev
A BONG?! That is SWEET, bro!
Happy Four-Twenty, 'Rik Master Flash!
(Ivan hands over his present.)
Erik Black
Much obliged, 'Van Hammer!
(Black removes the wrapping, and finds...)
Erik Black
AN OUNCE?! Freakin' AWESOME, dude!
Ivan Dalkichev
Yo bro.
Erik Black
'Sup?
Ivan Dalkichev
I've been thinking. I mean, like, lightning just literally struck my head.
Erik Black
WHOA.
Ivan Dalkichev
I know, right? So like... with it being Four Twenty and all, why don't we take YOUR bong and MY ounce, and smoke the sh*t out of them!
(Erik glances at his and his partner's hands, checking up on just who has who.)
Erik Black
Dude, don't you mean YOUR bong with MY ounce?
Ivan Dalkichev
That's exactly what I said!
Erik Black
No, dude... you said MY bong with YOUR ounce.
Ivan Dalkichev
That's not what I said, bro. Verbatim, that is not what I said.
Erik Black
...but it's what the words IMPLIED, dude!
And how do you know the word "VERBATIM"?!
Ivan Dalkichev
Where did you get that shirt?
Erik Black
Hey, don't change the subject!
...and I got a whole wardrobe of them for DIRT CHEAP after the Daymon estate went up for auction!
(Interrupting this confused exchange is a red flashing light buzzing over the doors.)
Erik Black
Oh crap! It's the boss!
Ivan Dalkichev
Hide the **** and look like we're doing something important!
Erik Black
Right...
(They simultaneously bounce out of the frame. A second later, they're back, Erik now without floral shirt and Ivan without the poncho, instead clad in their ring gear. Black comes toting a massive medicine ball as the doors open and NATHAN FEAR steps in.)
Nathan Fear
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
Erik Black
GGGRRRAAAAARRRGGHHH!! YOU READY, HAMMER!
Ivan Dalkichev
HOO-HAH!!
Erik Black
YOU READY??
Ivan Dalkichev
HOO!!
Erik Black
YOU READY??
Ivan Dalkichev
HAH!!
Erik Black
OH YEAH, YOU READY!!
(With the force of a coked-out Ultimate Warrior clothesline through a fucking window, Black FLINGS the medicine ball into Ivan's chest as he stands tense and ready. The giant Dalkichev takes it with full force and doesn't budge as the ball falls to the ground.)
Ivan Dalkichev
GRRRAAAAAAAHHH YEEEAAAAHHH!!!
Erik Black
Oh yeah, man, we're so PUMPED!!
(Nathan Fear observes this with a keen interest.)
Nathan Fear
It's relieving to see the two of you down here, hard at work. Preparing yourselves for Wrestleverse III, I take it?
Ivan Dalkichev
Oh, you KNOW IT, Boss! I've got the FURY of my Soviet ancestors flowing through my CRIMSON VEINS!! I'm ready to go out in that ring and show those Capitalist FOOLS that COMMUNISM is the only way to go!
Erik Black
Yeah, and we're gonna get that point across by BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF PEOPLE!! The system's holding us down, and we've gotta FIGHT THEM in order to TAKE THE POWER BACK!!
Ivan Dalkichev
That's right, man! This country has to SETTLE FOR NOTHING and WAKE UP!!
Erik Black
We're gonna show them FREEDOM with a FISTFUL OF STEEL!!
Ivan Dalkichev
BULLS ON PARADE!!
Erik Black
TESTIFY!!
Ivan Dalkichev
SLEEP NOW IN THE FIRE!!
Erik Black
GUERILLA RADIO!!
Nathan Fear
GOOD.
This is all... very strange, all though PLEASING to hear. I think the two of you are finally beginning to understand my vision, and I must admit... that makes me anticipate your match at Wrestleverse III even more.
(Ivan and Erik exchange a brief glance.)
Ivan Dalkichev
Uhm, Boss?
Erik Black
What's with the whole "mystery opponents" thing? Kinda puts us at a distinct advantage when we don't... KNOW YOUR ENEMY!!
Ivan Dalkichev
OUR enemy.
Erik Black
No, I was still quoting Rage songs...
Ivan Dalkichev
Yeah, but it's OUR enemy we need to know. Not HIS enemy.
...although, you know, since we're on the same side, I guess we could automatically assume that HIS enemy is OUR enemy by the same token.
Erik Black
(*******it, dude)
So yeah, Boss, what gives with that?
(A smile spreads across Fear's face.)
Nathan Fear
Gentlemen... I'm pleased to say that after much thought, I've decided to take the Crimson Calling into a new direction. Your victory or defeat at Wrestleverse III shall decide how we enter that new direction. As such, I've set the both of you up with opponents that would make this transition beneficial in either outcome.
Erik Black
Hmm... so you set us up in a match that's like a win-win situation?
Nathan Fear
That's one way of putting it. But rest assured, gentlemen... this match will be the most important match of your careers, and you must fight as such.
Ivan Dalkichev
So why not tell us who we're up against?
Nathan Fear
Relax, gentlemen... that knowledge is irrelevant. I don't want you drawing any quick assumptions and coming to false conclusions. Walk into this match with an open mind, and if you compete to your fullest potential, everything will go perfectly.
Well, comrades... I'll leave you back to your training. Good luck at Wrestleverse III. I'm counting on the both of you to do a good job.
(With another smile, Fear dismisses himself and exits through the doors whence he came. Almost as soon as he's gone, Erik and Ivan reach off-camera and retrieve their paraphernalia, cooperatively packing the bong.)
Erik Black
The Boss sure has been acting funny lately.
Ivan Dalkichev
True, bro. But if we stick to the Plan, we won't have to put up with that kind of funny any more.
Erik Black
That's right. You still know what to do?
Ivan Dalkichev
Yup. Two vials of Blue Cheer, in his Pomegranate Vitamin Water.
Erik Black
Right. Then I'll coax him out to the ring and put a mic in his hand. When everybody sees him TRIPPING in the middle of the ring, there's no WAY he'll be allowed in the wrestling business again!
The perfect form of revolution, my man...
Ivan Dalkichev
Right on, bro. Revolution of the MIND from the BODY!
Erik Black
Happy Four Twenty, Ivan.
Ivan Dalkichev
Happy Four Twenty, Erik.
Ryan Strawsma
Happy Four Twenty, America.
Odin Bless Us... EVERYONE!
(Fade out to the sounds of "Holy Mountain" by Sleep.)
(No Dolph Lundgren, though. That kinda sucks.)
(Anyhoo, standing there in the middle of the gym are none other than "The Former ESCAPE ARTIST" Erik Black and "The Ex-RAGING RUSSIAN" Ivan Dalkichev, looking rather casual. Black is unshaved, wearing a floral print shirt so atrociously loud, it practically stings the eye. Dalkichev is clad in his mesa-toned "Dude" poncho. They both bear the obvious stoner smirks, and happen to be holding a pair of gifts.)
Erik Black
Happy Four-Twenty, 'Van the Man!
(Erik hands over his present.)
Ivan Dalkichev
Oh, far out, 'Rikki-Tikki-Tavi!
(Dalkichev removes the wrapping, and finds...)
Ivan Dalkichev
A BONG?! That is SWEET, bro!
Happy Four-Twenty, 'Rik Master Flash!
(Ivan hands over his present.)
Erik Black
Much obliged, 'Van Hammer!
(Black removes the wrapping, and finds...)
Erik Black
AN OUNCE?! Freakin' AWESOME, dude!
Ivan Dalkichev
Yo bro.
Erik Black
'Sup?
Ivan Dalkichev
I've been thinking. I mean, like, lightning just literally struck my head.
Erik Black
WHOA.
Ivan Dalkichev
I know, right? So like... with it being Four Twenty and all, why don't we take YOUR bong and MY ounce, and smoke the sh*t out of them!
(Erik glances at his and his partner's hands, checking up on just who has who.)
Erik Black
Dude, don't you mean YOUR bong with MY ounce?
Ivan Dalkichev
That's exactly what I said!
Erik Black
No, dude... you said MY bong with YOUR ounce.
Ivan Dalkichev
That's not what I said, bro. Verbatim, that is not what I said.
Erik Black
...but it's what the words IMPLIED, dude!
And how do you know the word "VERBATIM"?!
Ivan Dalkichev
Where did you get that shirt?
Erik Black
Hey, don't change the subject!
...and I got a whole wardrobe of them for DIRT CHEAP after the Daymon estate went up for auction!
(Interrupting this confused exchange is a red flashing light buzzing over the doors.)
Erik Black
Oh crap! It's the boss!
Ivan Dalkichev
Hide the **** and look like we're doing something important!
Erik Black
Right...
(They simultaneously bounce out of the frame. A second later, they're back, Erik now without floral shirt and Ivan without the poncho, instead clad in their ring gear. Black comes toting a massive medicine ball as the doors open and NATHAN FEAR steps in.)
Nathan Fear
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
Erik Black
GGGRRRAAAAARRRGGHHH!! YOU READY, HAMMER!
Ivan Dalkichev
HOO-HAH!!
Erik Black
YOU READY??
Ivan Dalkichev
HOO!!
Erik Black
YOU READY??
Ivan Dalkichev
HAH!!
Erik Black
OH YEAH, YOU READY!!
(With the force of a coked-out Ultimate Warrior clothesline through a fucking window, Black FLINGS the medicine ball into Ivan's chest as he stands tense and ready. The giant Dalkichev takes it with full force and doesn't budge as the ball falls to the ground.)
Ivan Dalkichev
GRRRAAAAAAAHHH YEEEAAAAHHH!!!
Erik Black
Oh yeah, man, we're so PUMPED!!
(Nathan Fear observes this with a keen interest.)
Nathan Fear
It's relieving to see the two of you down here, hard at work. Preparing yourselves for Wrestleverse III, I take it?
Ivan Dalkichev
Oh, you KNOW IT, Boss! I've got the FURY of my Soviet ancestors flowing through my CRIMSON VEINS!! I'm ready to go out in that ring and show those Capitalist FOOLS that COMMUNISM is the only way to go!
Erik Black
Yeah, and we're gonna get that point across by BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF PEOPLE!! The system's holding us down, and we've gotta FIGHT THEM in order to TAKE THE POWER BACK!!
Ivan Dalkichev
That's right, man! This country has to SETTLE FOR NOTHING and WAKE UP!!
Erik Black
We're gonna show them FREEDOM with a FISTFUL OF STEEL!!
Ivan Dalkichev
BULLS ON PARADE!!
Erik Black
TESTIFY!!
Ivan Dalkichev
SLEEP NOW IN THE FIRE!!
Erik Black
GUERILLA RADIO!!
Nathan Fear
GOOD.
This is all... very strange, all though PLEASING to hear. I think the two of you are finally beginning to understand my vision, and I must admit... that makes me anticipate your match at Wrestleverse III even more.
(Ivan and Erik exchange a brief glance.)
Ivan Dalkichev
Uhm, Boss?
Erik Black
What's with the whole "mystery opponents" thing? Kinda puts us at a distinct advantage when we don't... KNOW YOUR ENEMY!!
Ivan Dalkichev
OUR enemy.
Erik Black
No, I was still quoting Rage songs...
Ivan Dalkichev
Yeah, but it's OUR enemy we need to know. Not HIS enemy.
...although, you know, since we're on the same side, I guess we could automatically assume that HIS enemy is OUR enemy by the same token.
Erik Black
(*******it, dude)
So yeah, Boss, what gives with that?
(A smile spreads across Fear's face.)
Nathan Fear
Gentlemen... I'm pleased to say that after much thought, I've decided to take the Crimson Calling into a new direction. Your victory or defeat at Wrestleverse III shall decide how we enter that new direction. As such, I've set the both of you up with opponents that would make this transition beneficial in either outcome.
Erik Black
Hmm... so you set us up in a match that's like a win-win situation?
Nathan Fear
That's one way of putting it. But rest assured, gentlemen... this match will be the most important match of your careers, and you must fight as such.
Ivan Dalkichev
So why not tell us who we're up against?
Nathan Fear
Relax, gentlemen... that knowledge is irrelevant. I don't want you drawing any quick assumptions and coming to false conclusions. Walk into this match with an open mind, and if you compete to your fullest potential, everything will go perfectly.
Well, comrades... I'll leave you back to your training. Good luck at Wrestleverse III. I'm counting on the both of you to do a good job.
(With another smile, Fear dismisses himself and exits through the doors whence he came. Almost as soon as he's gone, Erik and Ivan reach off-camera and retrieve their paraphernalia, cooperatively packing the bong.)
Erik Black
The Boss sure has been acting funny lately.
Ivan Dalkichev
True, bro. But if we stick to the Plan, we won't have to put up with that kind of funny any more.
Erik Black
That's right. You still know what to do?
Ivan Dalkichev
Yup. Two vials of Blue Cheer, in his Pomegranate Vitamin Water.
Erik Black
Right. Then I'll coax him out to the ring and put a mic in his hand. When everybody sees him TRIPPING in the middle of the ring, there's no WAY he'll be allowed in the wrestling business again!
The perfect form of revolution, my man...
Ivan Dalkichev
Right on, bro. Revolution of the MIND from the BODY!
Erik Black
Happy Four Twenty, Ivan.
Ivan Dalkichev
Happy Four Twenty, Erik.
Ryan Strawsma
Happy Four Twenty, America.
Odin Bless Us... EVERYONE!
(Fade out to the sounds of "Holy Mountain" by Sleep.)