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SINGLED OUT: LOTB FIRST ROUND- Justin Evitable v. PTSD

Yori Yakamo jr

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Jun 4, 2005
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161
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Location
Nutmeg State
This is a first round match in the 2007 Lord of the Boards Tournament. The winner will face the winner of Onan/Mason in the semifinals at Wednesday Night Warriors.

Promos go here.

Promo deadline is August 3rd at 11:59 PM.
 

Linguistic

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Sep 24, 2005
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1,075
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43
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Lebanon, MO
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joshrayhub.com
“Damn that General Mayhem. Damn him to hell.”

Those two sentences had been on Petey’s mind for the last few days. Since his loss to the pompous, falsely aggressive British General, Petey hadn’t really thought of anything other than those words and ways to maim the man the next time he saw him. He knew that they’d eventually cross paths again.

Petey didn’t feel all that great after losing his first match, but he was starting to understand the therapeutic qualities of wrestling professionally. He found that through all of his confusion and all of the mental problems there was a certain calm… a certain spiritual and emotional release from dishing out and receiving punishment legally. He couldn’t wait to get in the ring and do it all over again. The realization was starting to settle in that he didn’t really care whether he won or he lost, just as long as the other guy got hurt just as much as he did. That was all that mattered. He wanted his opponent to suffer just as he suffered on a daily basis.

Message Board Entertainment had put him up in motel room for down time in between shows, so he was currently lying in bed staring at the ceiling. His clothes were the same clothes as he had worn to the ring a few days ago, and they were the same clothes that he had worn for months now. He was sure that MBE set the other wrestlers up with better accommodations, but that didn’t really concern him. He understood that after the incident a week ago where he broke into that nice families home and took every drop of cash they had in the place – while they were still in it – that he could be the MBE World Heavyweight Champion and still be stuck in a motel exactly like this one. He smelled badly and had violent tendencies, so it kept him out of the way so that he wouldn’t be getting into nearly as much trouble as he could in much nicer neighborhoods or surroundings.

He thought back to the match that he had with general Mayhem. Were the wrestling fans really cheering for him? It was hard for him to believe that anybody could cheer for him, knowing that he was such a messed up guy with a strange, somewhat demented personality. The more he thought about it, the more he believed that it had something to do with people wanting to believe that he could change. People had to believe in their hearts that a formerly honorable man such as Petey could redeem himself and return to former glory.

Wasn’t that why he was wrestling?

He didn’t know, and most of that was because his mind was starting to cloud again. He took some medication that he was given by one of the wrestlers backstage after his loss. He didn’t have a clue what this medication was, but the man had told him that it would calm his nerves and give his mind some focus, which was definitely what he needed at the moment. He wasn’t the type to take drugs of any sort, but the wrestler had seemed genuinely concerned so he figured he’d take the man at his word.

Minutes later, his mind began to focus again, just as the wrestler had suggested the drugs would assist in doing. The clouds in his mind rolled away and he started thinking about what was next on his path to redemption. A piece of paper had been slipped underneath his motel room door earlier in the day that told him he had a match in the first round of some sort of tournament. It would be against a man by the name of Justin Evitable.

“Clever name,” chuckled Petey. He honestly thought it was a clever name. He hadn’t been a big wrestling fan, so he had never been subjected to names such as Justin Sane, Justin Credible, or Justin Evitable. To him, the man he would be squaring off against would be witty, if nothing else.

He read the words that were typed in italics underneath the match announcement:

“Two men coming off of losses at TIN HAT will try to get back on the winning track.”

He laughed again, but more audibly this time. A motel neighbor pounded on the paper-thin wall separating the two of them, screaming for Petey to shut the hell up.

Petey complied by trying to keep the volume down, but thought to himself about the hilarity of the announcement he had just read. Didn’t the phrase “get back on the winning track” insinuate that he had been on a winning track to begin with? It must have been somebody’s way of hyping the first round match, but Petey still found it insanely funny.

Petey was sure that he would be losing this match, as well. He hadn’t shown much in the way of offense or a winning attitude in the beginning of his MBE career, so he was sure that he was seeded dead-last in this tournament. That put Justin Evitable as the top seed, if Petey had done his math correctly. These days, he couldn’t be so sure about his computing or reasoning skills… but he still thought he was right.

“I guess that means my therapy this time around will be much more cost-effective,” thought Petey.

Things were looking up once again for the traumatized war veteran. He had another match, which meant that somebody had confidence in him, and he felt better than he had felt in a very long time. The whole hurting people and getting hurt thing seemed to help out quite a bit. The MBE had promoted him as being on his path to either redemption or prison, and at this stage in his life he could see himself heading in both directions depending on upcoming circumstances.

After all of this thinking, he eyed the bathroom and the shower stall that was practically begging him to enjoy it. The dead cockroach that was settled on the shower’s drain seemed to call to him as well…

He hadn’t taken a shower in God knows how long, and he wasn’t about to start. It might ruin his mystique.

He realized that he had actually believed a dead cockroach was calling to him… that was all the reason he needed for him to take some more medication. It was definitely time for more drugs…

*END*
 

Justin Evitable

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Jun 29, 2007
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Justin rides into camera view, he stops his Hayabusa and kicks it into neutral before parking and getting off his ride, he appears to be on a bridge somewhere near New York City, city lights in the background.

So this is what it comes down to, Lord of the Boards, a chance to prove to the millions of fans nationwide what Justin Evitable is made out of, another opportunity to prove that I am a contender for the World Heavyweight Championship, and all I have to do is reach the top of yet another tournament. Well the track record is looking pretty good for the "True Face" on this one, I seem to preform quite well when it comes to these little MBE tournaments, and this one is going to be no differant from the last, because it is going to bring me another step closer to holding that big gold belt.

Last week may have been a loss for your "True Face", but apparently I was misinformed as to how important that match would have been, only until after the match did I find out that it was going to be for a bye in this little so called tournament. Now, lets not start saying "Justin, does that mean you were taking your match against Jeff Roberts lightly?" You damn right I did, he's mentaly unstable, and that usualy means he's prone to ridiculous amounts of mistakes, ones I could have capitalized much more efficiently if I had been in the right state of mind knowing that my destiny would have been easier to achieve if I had been paying attention.

Now, lets just review the facts, Jeff only just barely beat me and I wasn't even giving it my best performance, only to prove a point, that if Jeffery Roberts is going to get a bye into the semifinals, that not only am I destined to face him again and attain the rank of #1 contender, but that I am going to make short work of him in the progress of attaining that esteemed title once more.

Woah woah woah...I can hear the fans asking questions now, I know they are curious, and the "True Face" is going to let them in on what Justin Evitable is thinking, yes, I did change my music again, so what, nothing wrong with that, I like alot of music, and this little diddy is a representation of the violence I can cause in the ring, so if you hear "Enjoy the Silence" on your little Sirius Stiletto's, or if you have a stripper's stilleto in your face while the DJ is playing this very song, always remember the "True Face", your people's champion and your savior, the man who will achieve the highest pinnacle of MBE, and that being its World Heavyweight Champion, and forcing Doc Silver to finaly retire and start collecting Social Security.

With that out of the way, I can now move on finaly.

The Inner Sextum....they've always been kind to me and I am in Yori's debt, but from now on I have to make my own way, I can no longer stay in the shadow of an organization, because much like Barry Bonds' predicament, becoming world heavyweight champion while associated with Yori will only lead to contreversy, and whether or not I was on any sort of preformance enhancing, mind altering, or any other substance that may or may not have anything to do with my ability to succeed or not. I'm sure our paths will cross again in the future, but this time I do this alone.

First Round, Lord of the Boards, a chance at becoming #1 contender...Petey Esteedee, or whatever other inflamatory condition of the testicles he was named after, you seem to be of the confused variety much like Jeffery Roberts, and if my concentration was elsewhere last time, focusing on you is going to be a walk in the park, much like a Manny Ramirez home run. I'm going to send your head flying 480 feet to center feild, or at least you will feel like its that far away from your body when the first round is done, then you can go back to the drawing board in your cardboard box and figure out what you are going to do with your life or try and come up with a diddy to play on your little guitar to make a few extra dollars in your little coffee can on the side of the road, or maybe choke out a stranger for their money, whetever your favorite past time may be. Lets not forget, Petey, that you are facing off against THE QUOTE! TRUE FACE, ENDQUOTE! And much like the Bee Gees, you're going to be singing about staying alive when all is said and done, cause you'll be back in the 70's in those jungles of vietnam singing Creedance Clearwater Revival in your little Huey, which I hate to break it to you, isn't controlled by an empty Big Mac box, and not very bio degradable either, which reminds me, the crap I almost stepped in on the way to the arena today may or may not have been your own, but let me just tell you, Petey, that Lord of the Boards is my time to shine, and when its finished, and you lay with blood splattered, and the fans cheering for me to finish you off, you'll wake up with the sports section wrapped around your body on the corner of 5th and main, and the first thing you're going to see is

"True Face beats Hobo at MBE Arena"

And when it comes to putting the homeless in their place, your QUOTE! TRUE FACE, ENDQUOTE! is a certified professional in that field. So get comfortable, Petey, grab that empty TV box and make a new addition to your home, start begging for those quarters that are going to be needed to pay your next trip to Walgreens to buy your G.I. Joe bandaids and gauze, because the bronx is burning Petey Esteedee, and so is your crotch, its going to need to be itched, and you may be able to afford a cheap handjob to "relax" those muscles when the job is finished and I move closer to the goal, and you are sent back to the unemployment line, or maybe the shelter, wherever it is you do end up, its going to be because you were the unfortunate victim of life, and life has a name, Justin Evitable....welcome to the jungle, YOU'RE GONNA DIE! BANG BANG! hope I didnt trigger any flashbacks there buddy, I'd hate for you to miss the ten count to get in the ring because you were out strangulating a helpless jogger because you thought he had a flamethrower or was in league with the viet cong.....

Now I know you haven't eaten today, or yesterday...or anything other than the comics section recently...but still, it's a question that is on my mind, and all the fans want to know....petey.....do you....like....sausage? That's right Petey, the QUOTE! TRUE FACE, ENDQUOTE! has a nice big, plump, juicy helping of his specialy made ball park franks...and he's ready to share some with you, maybe some ketchup? some diced onions? you like diced onions right? maybe a little mustard? or perhaps some of that sweet sweeeeet relish...you like that right? making you hungry? giving you that funny feeling deep down in your gullet?...


....



Well you can take that ball park frank and all its condiments and stick it straight up your ass because if you think you're going to get past me this week, you are sorely mistaken, the fun and games are over my friend, you completely forgot that you are going to be in my house this week, and I never invited you, so its time to take out the trash and send you home, to said trash I was refering to, behind the MBE arena, and luckily for me, they don't take it til monday, which gives me plenty of time to dispose of you and your hopes of being Lord of the Boards before you have a change of address.

A sausage cart is being walked by, Justin stops the cart and orders a foot long frank with ketchup and onions, hands the man a 5 dollar bill and begins chomping down on it....

Mmmmm...now that's good sausage....

Justin tosses the empty holder and napkins before hopping on his Hayabusa and riding off into the night.
 

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