CSWA SHOWTIME in Santa Fe -- September 10, 2000

CSWA SHOWTIME in Santa Fe
September 10, 2000

Featuring Deacon vs. Hornet for the CSWA World Championship!
First, however, there's the little matter of a certain sack on a pole...

(The U-62 logo gives way to the patented CSWA intro of lights and pyro, as well as the capacity crowd of just over 18,000 here in the Santa Fe Coliseum. As the SHOWTIME logo fades, we find CSWA commentators Bill Buckley and Sammy Benson at their usual places near ringside. Buckley appears to be preoccupied by something coming across his headset, as there's a moment of awkward silence.)

SB: Well, since he won't do it...welcome to CSWA SHOWTIME in God's forsaken country, Santa Fe, New Mexico...where no one, I repeat, NO ONE, will bring me some appropriate refreshment.

BB: It's not their fault that Merritt has ordered the "Benson ban" back into effect, Sammy.

BB: Fans...there's something crazy going on in the back...I don't exactly know how to describe it. I've been told in my headset that Merritt and Thomas had a confrontation in the back. They didn't quite come to blows... but, apparently some of the people with them did. I need to get some additional corroboration before I say anything else...

BB: Things are already taking a wild turn tonight, folks, and there's no doubt that it's just the beginning. We've got five scheduled matches for you tonight, with all five either having titles up for grabs, or having bearing on the title situation leading into ANNIVERSARY 2000. In possibly one of the oddest matches we've had in a while, six contenders have been thrown together with the winners given promises of championship title shots at ANN2K. Alex Wylde defends his Presidential Championship against Cameron Cruise, while Cruise's tag team partner Bobby Jackson gets a shot at the enigmatic Cardigo Mysterian and the Greensboro Title. And in two matches with direct bearing on the World Title situation for ANNIVERSARY, Steve Radder meets Mike Randalls in a top contenders match. In the Main Event, CSWA World Champion Deacon takes on former four-time World Champ Hornet, in a match that many of us thought would never happen.

SB: Hoped, I think is the better word. It's sickening. "Faith" this, and "I'm sorry" about that. Good grief.

BB: Commissioner Merritt gave this shot to Hornet at PRIMETIME. And while it's great to see Hornet back in title contention, I think everyone, including Hornet, agrees there are others who are ahead of him in line for this title shot. But on the other hand, none of those athletes are being threatened with this tonight being their last match...which is exactly what Merritt has told Hornet, if he continues to refuse to sign a new CSWA contract.

BB: I've told you about four of our matches tonight, folks. The match up next could have bearing on the Unified Tag Team Title situation....

Sack on a Pole Tag Team Match
Strictly Business vs. Hip Hop Express

BB: Coming up now folks is our first ever ‘sack on a pole’ match between Strictly Business and the Hip Hop Express!

BB: Attached to one turnbuckle is a pole and hangin from it is a…. err….sack. Whichever team grabs it first is the winner.

BB: The CSWA in no way, shape or form would advocate the taking of illegal drugs.

(Strictly Business's music plays and Cisco and Davis make their way out to a decent reception from the crowd, they jump into the ring and try to work the crowd and have some success.)

BB: Cisco and Davis look ready to go, I hope the Hip Hop Express are up for it too!

(As if on queue, HHE's is played as Ice and Smalls run to the ring, slide under the ropes and charge at Strictly Business.)

BB: WE’RE OFF ALREADY, THIS LOOKS LIKE THE SORT OF MATCH WHERE THE REFEREE MAY AS WELL PUT HIS FEET UP!

BB: John Cisco and Inferno Ice are beside us slugging away at each other while Mark Davis and Boogie Smalls are rolling around the ring trying to hurt each other! Ice whips Cisco into the railings…REVERSED BY CISCO AND INFERNO ICE HITS HARD!

SB: Inferno Ice…Boogie Smalls…how can you dis people with names like that?!?!

BB: Cut the chatter, Sammy. Anyway, hearing a fifty-plus year old man say 'dis' is ridiculous. Smalls with a body slam on Davis before dropping a leg across his throat, now he’s up for the sack! He’s on top of the turnbuckle and is inching towards the sack, that pole must be at least ten feet tall. Smalls nearly at the top….CISCO SPOTS HIM….CISCO ON THE APRON……GOOD GOD…SPEAR BY CISCO THAT KNOCKS SMALLS OFF THE POLE AND BOTH MEN CRASH TO THE ARENA FLOOR! ARE THEY STILL CONSCIOUS?!?!

BB: The censors love you, Sammy. Davis is dragging himself up as Ice makes his way into the ring, hard right hand by Davis before he whips him into the ropes, clothesline and Inferno Ice hits the canvas hard! Davis drags him up, scoop slam…floated over by Ice…thumb to the eye by Ice….SWINGING NECKBREAKER AND DAVIS IS IN TROUBLE! Smalls and Cisco are getting up on the outside and are battling up the ramp way as Ice starts to lay the boots into Davis. He whips Davis into the ropes….BIG TIME POWERSLAM AND MARK DAVIS IS IN A WORLD OF HURT!

BB: Smalls has Cisco by the head and is ramming him into the metal supports by the entrance curtain, I think Cisco is bleeding as he drops to the floor!

BB: True…….Smalls with a roundhouse right, ducked by Cisco….BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX ON THE METAL RAMP AND BOOGIE SMALLS IS HOLDING HIS LOWER BACK! Meanwhile Ice has Davis outside the ring and is choking him with some mic cable, the referee is telling him to stop but there’s nothing he can do about it.

BB: Inferno has left Davis and is now climbing up the turnbuckle to try and get to the sack, he’s on the top of the turnbuckle and is reaching up that pole, the Hip Hop Express must really want the contents of that bag.

SB: Oh yeah I forgot about that Buckley…mind if I borrow your rose-colored glasses for a minute?!?!

BB: ICE IS NEARLY TOUCHING THE SACK…WAIT…DAVIS IS UP AND HE HAS A STEEL CHAIR! HE’S ON THE APRON…HE LEVELS ICE WTH A CHAIR SHOT TO THE BACK! AND ANOTHER, AND A THIRD! INFERNO ICE DROPS FROM THE TURNBUCKLE INTO THE RING AS DAVIS CLIMBS THE TURNBUCKLE HIMSELF…HE’S TURNED AWAY FROM THE POLE, HE HAS THE CHAIR IN HIS HAND, HE LEAPS OFF……CHAIR SHOT TO THE HEAD OF INFERNO ICE! ICE IS BUSTED OPEN FROM EAR TO EAR AFTER THAT SHOT AND HE LOOKS OUT OF IT!

BB: From out of date lingo to U2...Sammy Benson's a regular Max Headroom folks. Cisco and Smalls are fighting on their way back to the ring as Davis staggers towards the pole that has the sack on it. Meanwhile Smalls grabs Cisco….DOUBLE ARM DDT ON THE STEEL STEPS! OH MY LORD I THINK JOHN CISCO IS OUT COLD! SMALLS IS RUNNING INTO THE RING AND IS BRINGING TOO INFERNO, NOW THE PAIR CLIMB THE TURNBUCKLE AND GRAB DAVIS’S ANKLES! DAVIS IS ABOUT TWENTY FEET ABOVE THE RING AND MAYBE THIRTY FEET FROM THE GROUND! GUT SHOTS TO DAVIS BY THE HIP HOP EXPRESS, NOW THEY GRAB HIM…….DOUBLE CHOKESLAM TWENTY FEET TO THE CANVAS! THE HIP HOP EXPRESS HAS DECIMATED MARK DAVIS!

BB: The Hip Hop Express are slowly making their way to the top of the pole, Davis isn’t moving….

BB: John Cisco is staggering up onto the apron as the Hip Hop Express get closer to the sack….CISCO WITH A DROPKICK….OH DEAR GOD…..HE CONNECTS WITH BOOGIE SMALLS AND SENDS HIM OFF THE POLE AND THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCERS TABLE! I think Manuel Juarez may have taken the brunt of that one.

SB: Poor bastards….they always seem to get it! Wait a minute...MANUEL JUAREZ is commentating?

BB: You don't read any of the memos I send out do you? CISCO GRABS HOLD OF ICE’S LEG, SPINS HIM AROUND…THE MOTHER OF ALL RIGHT HANDS BY JOHN CISCO…ICE FALLS FROM THE POLE…SNAKE EYES ON THE METAL GUARD RAIL AS CISCO FOLLOWS HIM! INFERNO ICE IS BLEEDING FROM THE MOUTH AS CISCO TRIES TO PSYCHE HIMSELF UP!

BB: I don’t blame him! It looks like a car accident out here at the moment! Slowly John Cisco drags himself onto the ring apron and towards the turnbuckle and he starts to climb, he’s now on top of the turnbuckle and is starting to crawl up the pole. He’s at the top, and is a few inches from grabbing the sack and winning the match….

BB: CISCO HAS STOPPED! HE’S GOT HIS HANDS ON THE SACK BUT LOOKS UNDECIDED WHETHER TO GRAB IT OR NOT!

BB: Cisco is still thinking about it, wait….ICE IS MOVING….SO IS SMALLS, THEY ARE STARTING TO GET IN THE RING AND CLIMB THE TURNBUCKLES, CISCO BETTER MAKE A MOVE SOON!

SB: What is this kid's problem? Come on kid, grab the sack and go have yourself some fun!

BB: SMALLS AND ICE ARE UNDERNEATH HIM AS DAVIS STARTS TO STIR! DAVIS IS ON HIS FEET AND IS STUMBLING TOWARDS THE TURNBUCKLE, ICE AND SMALLS GRAB CISCO…THEY THROW HIM OFF THE TOP OF THE POLE….ONTO DAVIS! BOTH MEMBERS OF STRICTLY BUSINESS ARE DOWN WHILE THE HIP HOP EXPRESS ARE AT THE TOP OF THEPOLE……THEY GRAB THE SACK, THEY’VE WON THE MATCH!

BB: It's NOT weed Sammy, the Hip Hop Express climb down the turnbuckle and look at the fallen figures of Strictly Business…..they toss the sack at them…they don’t want it anymore!