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Back
to the TRIBUNE
"The
Ivy League" returns with Ivy's first comments
since the kidnapping and rescue of her daughter!
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Updated 8/10/00
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Do I have to tell you people every
single time?
You can't keep Poison Ivy down.
You can't keep Team Extreme down.
Hasn't the world figured this out
yet? Even with Eli still recovering from his injury. Even
with my dear Susan kidnapped. Even with Johnny Fizzbin's
former business burned to the ground by Damien Xeno/The
Insider/Whoever the hell he was.
And we're back on top. If not on
top of the rankings, then at the very least, we're
emotionally as good as we've ever been.
I mentioned Johnny Fizzbin. Isn't
he amazing? This is going to be one of the biggest
adjustments of my professional career. Not managing
Johnny.... because managing is simply what I do. But
looking to my left and seeing his trainer, Eli Flair,
standing outside the ring watching him amaze the crowd.
Eli's a tough teacher. He's hard
on Johnny when it comes to exercise and training....
but the look in his eyes tells a different story
altogether.
He's proud.
Keep watching, CSWA fans....
because Team Extreme has a new lease on life, and as the
old saying goes.... you ain't seen NOTHING yet!
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Carnival
of Knowledge
Updated 8/11/00
Controversy. Something that
everyone experiences at least once in their lives unless
you compete in the CSWA. If you compete in the CSWA then
you experience it everyday in your life. So can be said
about the events that occurred at Indy 2000 held by
the CSWA.
With three teams fighting for
survival in the Stairway to Hell match, it was Kevin
Powers who reached for the titles and claimed victory ...
or so The Dark Carnival though. It is true that Kevin
Powers and Michael Hardy of Simply Stunning grabbed the
belts, but it was Powers who had control first.
Yet the CSWA ... Merritt ... had
turned a blind eye to the situation and has created
controversy yet again. Now nobody knows who the tag team
champions are. Perhaps if they asked Michael Hardy the
would get a true answer cause deep down inside he knows he
is the false hero to the cause.
So would that match explain the
assault of Steve Radder? Perhaps it would, but never look
into the situation when the answer stares you right in the
face. Kevin Powers attacked Steve Radder because he felt
like it. Radder has had an unseen headlock on the CSWA
which cannot be explained and now Kevin Powers will
release that once and for all. In Phoenix Kevin Powers and
The Dark Carnival will prove that only one team runs this
league .... we do and nothing .... nobody ... can stop us
from our complete and utter control.
So when you, the fans of the CSWA,
buy your tickets to the next event be ready for The Dark
Carnival and ... Enjoy the Ride.
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Gentleman's
Club
Updated 8/4/00
Greetings to you, the
great unwashed, and welcome to the greatest column ever to
feature in ‘The Tribune’, why you ask? Because it is
penned by the greatest wrestler ever to step foot in the
CSWA and professional wrestling in general – "The
English Gent" Lawrence Stanley. I was approached by
the editor of this magazine and asked to give my views of
the CSWA in a regular article, the opportunity to voice my
opinions and the substantial financial offer he made me
were too good to turn down so here I am. As my column
becomes more regular I will look as specific topics as
well as cards that have just happened, for the sake of my
debut piece I will look briefly at the comings and goings
of the CSWA recently.
Let us start in the tag
ranks, never have I seen a finer collection of tag teams
in all my days wrestling, at the moment the tag title
chase is one of the hottest and most watched in all of
wrestling. The champions the Dark Carnival have shown that
they deserve to be champions with displays of brute
strength and domination that remind me of myself. Take a
look down and you see a wealth of talent who want to knock
the champions off their pedestal, the SWAT Team,
"Simply Stunning", Strictly Business, Bobby
Jackson and Cameron Cruise and that is just the tip. You
may also take into account the team of Lawrence Stanley
and Serf, granted serf may not yet be up to such
competition but under the tutelage of Alfred and myself I
feel he may soon be able to make his mark on the singles
and tag scene. As it is we are happy to sit back and see
what takes place in the tag team scene over the next few
weeks, from the talent that is on offer it would not
surprise me if the tag titles swapped hands frequently,
however let us leave the tag ranks and look at the bigger
picture that is the singles division.
Like the tag ranks the
singles division is hotting up immensely, with a fine
mixture of young up and coming hopefuls to the renowned
veterans who have seen it all before. I for one like the
mixture in the CSWA, it is not made up of young 16 year
olds but at the same time the card is not dominated by
people in their mid 50’s like some federations, that’s
what makes the CSWA the worldwide success it is. Of course
the other reason is that near the top of the rankings is
yours truly, the US champion. Take a look at the
Greensboro champion, the Presidential champion, the US
champion and the World champion, quality wrestlers all of
them, now look at the people who are vying for those
titles, strength in depth all the way. The CSWA is so
competitive that you need only slip up once and you may
find yourself way down the rankings, without a title shot
or even worse, without a title that you once held. This is
what brings people to the CSWA, the opportunity that such
competition can bring, for one person’s ill fortune is
another person’s break and there are plenty people who
are itching to get into the main event limelight.
This brief glimpse into
the CSWA will suffice until I feel the urge to pen another
breathtaking column for ‘The Tribune’, where I shall
be able to pin-point a specific topic as oppose to merely
discussing the wider picture. Either way be sure to pick
up the next issue of ‘The Tribune’ so that your
worthless lives can be temporarily enriched by reading the
sacred words of "The English Gent" Lawrence
Stanley. However until that time comes I feel it is time
to bid all the members of the great unwashed a good day.
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| Kneel, and bow before me. Don’t be
shy. My name is Sammy Benson, your constant example of morality. I understand,
you’ve waited a lifetime. Come my son, and walk with me through the gates
of Happy Hour. |
Updated
7/12/00 |
I just want to start by
saying how much I despise Canadians. I know I've
mentioned it before in this column...but after some 'time
off' due to the CSWA's internal bickering between the big
C and S, I thought I'd remind you.
And that includes Steve
Radder. The Canadian of Canadians. While
Canadians babble on about his clean air and water...while
they try to convince us that their Canadian beer is a true
import and better than the American stuff...while they
goes on and on about providing health care to everybody by
taxing everyone excessively...I know the truth.
It's all a gimmick.
Radder and Canada both. They're all gimmick.
Just like Radder sticking his nose into what could have
been the greatest combination since America's Team...the
Powers of Love. But no, Powers had to let the
Canadian stick his nose into things... and so we get
"PLR"...and the rest, as they say, is
history. Then the Canadian proceeds to turn on
Powers, the guy that got him *in* the in-crowd, while
ragging on Eddy Love.
Typical Canadian
blather. He talks about how great he is...how he
deserves a title shot... how he deserved better from
Powers and Love. Please.
You want some respect,
Radder? Get up off your behind and show us that you
can hold a candle to the former CSWA World Champion Eddy
Love and the Unified World Tag Champ Kevin
Powers.
You didn't deserve to be
with them then...and you're not in their league now.
Get over it...and go back to Canada to raise your kid in
the socialistic little society your crave.
Like I said before:
"Canadian: Australian
for Gay".
(Comments
expressed in "Happy Hour" do not necessarily represent the
CSWA or CS Enterprises On-line, Inc.)
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Point/Counterpoint
Updated post-TWS
"Factions.....From
one extreme......."
These days, everyone and their mother is
banding together as a group. Personally I don't see the point to some
of them, but you can't argue with the logic. Back in the day, the old
saying "A real man stands alone" held true, in fact, it was
admired, now, it's just stupid.
True, you have more room for debate in a
group. You know, "Who's the leader?", "So and so would
have lost if he didn't have his group", and so on. However,
today, it isn't necessarily "What" you know....it's
"Who". Take a look at some feds outside our realm. You have
"Triple H", if he wasn't involved with Shawn Michaels at one
point, he would still be genuflecting in the ring. Jeff Jarrett, if he
didn't make goody good with Kevin Nash, he would still be talking
about the stroke he wasn't getting. These days, you NEED people around
you.
There is a flip side to this as well. Say for
instance, you get jumped, you think people are gonna back you up, just
because "It's the right thing to do"? Back in the day, maybe
that would happen. Nowadays, the only ones helping you are the
referees, and they don't help at all. There are also those friendships
that can happen in a group. No one can get a tag-belt by themselves
you know.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying there isn't
a kindred nobility in standing on your own. Just let everyone else
know when you stop living in the past, we'll bring you up to speed.
You don't like it?
Live with it.
".....To the other."
Why is this culture so enthralled with
bandwagons, and fads? One day it's cool to wear JimmyZ, the next day
it's cool to wear FUBU, clothes are clothes. It's "Cool" to
be a Yankee's fan, so, you know what, everyone is, it's
"cool" to have an S.U.V. so every car manufacturer is
involved, whether they should be or not. I mean, really, does an
offspring of a Jeep, REALLY need to be luxurious?
A few years ago, you would see a faction here,
a stable there, nowadays, I swear they should form their OWN fed.
somewhere, why? Because it's "Cool". Just like the
plight of a teenager, come on, you know the words "Iwant to be
judged for what I do, not what everyone my age does."
Meanwhile the kid who says that is wearing the EXACT same kind of
clothes as the three kids next to him. I know all about "fitting
in", so don't say it.
I'm not saying that if you are following the
trend, and jumping into a faction, that you are a sheep. Not at all,
what I AM saying, is, where's the challenge in it? Isn't that what
life is supposed to be about? Isn't that why we have extreme sports?
Because the average athlete wanted to be challenged beyond his known
limits? Sure, a stablemate is good in a pinch, he's got your back, but
can you say any accomplishment you make is REALLY yours?
Take a look at some of the legends that this
sport has to offer. Mike Randalls, now when have you seen him with a
faction? Hornet, maybe a buddy here, a buddy there, but that's about
it. There are many more, but I'm not going to get into too much
detail, it's not necessary. Do you have any inkling as to why these
men are of legend? They know that "A warrior without his weapons,
is a warrior still". What that means is, they don't need
anybody around them. Sure, they may get their butt handed to them by a
group of thugs, but that doesn't change things. Take a look at the
returning Swat Team, they knew that they were becoming nothing more
than lackeys, so what are they doing? They're going on their
own.
These four men are warriors, no I'm not
plugging an upcoming pay per view, this is coincidence.
Does your being in a faction make you a wimp?
Not necessarily, but you will have to prove that alot more than a man
on his own. If you have yet to realize that, then wake up, this dream
is over.
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