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#1 Contender's Match: Doe v Borden

John Doe

The Anorexic Ethiopian
Feb 2, 2004
Chicago, IL
The Doe Flex

VOICEOVER: The following is a paid presentation of the Doe Flex home gym system.


With John Doe and some girl standing with a machine behind them, the machine says “Bow Flex” but with a large red X over the Bow and Doe wrote under it. John looks at the camera and gives a cheap smile as Sean Edmunds a WFW sits on the “Doe Flex.” John seems to be outside on some kind of pavement where people can see him.

Doe: Tired of being weak and unable to lift like some of stronger alpha males, are you sick of walking down the beach looking like the insignificant whimp you are? Well I have designed the perfect workout machine the “Doe Flex”!

Sean: I use to go to a regular gym every day but with the “Doe Flex” I get regular gym results with only using the machine three times a week.

Sean stands up as he turns around to set resistance to the machine, on his white tank top the red pain that was on the Doe Flex to cross out Bow soaked into Sean’s ****

Doe: Sh*t

Doe notices the mark on Sean shirt but doesn’t say anything, he grabs a can of spray paint and redoes the X over Bow.

Doe: Well, some people really need to use this machine in order to beat me in a match. You need to work out hard! That’s why Alex Borden needs to buy the “Doe Flex”, for three certain reasons…Sean if you will be so kind to explain.

Sean turns around seeing the red blotch on his new white tank top. He growls, as he becomes angered.

Sean: What the f*ck is on my tanktop! I just bought this crap yesterday.

Doe: SEAN!

Sean: What!

Doe: See, Sean is not from NEW people he is a WFW superstar and sometimes wonders off the subject, now if since Sean bought the “Doe Flex” I guarantee in weeks he will be a World Champion, plus he is my new friend. So Sean, If you will tell the lovely people the three reasons why Alex Borden can not beat me in a match without using the “Doe Flex”.

Sean looks at the “Doe Flex”. Then tilts his head a bit looking at the big red X over Bow.

Sean: Hey bro this is a Bow….

Doe cuts off Sean become angered.

Doe: Just tell them god d*mn it! Use the cue cards if you need to.

Sean looks at the cue card in front of him and begins to read off it.

Sean: In orders to defeat John Doe you need to use the Bow Flex…


Sean: Oh yeah, you need to use the “Doe Flex”. See the “Doe Flex” is a state of the art work out home gym that enables you to perform diffecult tasks..John you spelled difficult wrong on the cue card.

Doe: Are you serious?

Sean: Yeah, want me to fix it?

A cameraman rolls his eyes at Sean and John.

Cameraman: Listen you morons can we just get this done my daughter has a birthday party and I need to get there, rather than have you two idiots try to read and spell, ok?

Doe and Sean look at each other.

Doe: Are you kidding me?

Cameraman: …no

Doe: Sean can you hand me that spray paint can?

Sean: Sure why not.

John chucks the spray paint at the head of the cameraman. The cameraman falls to the ground knocked out John and Sean laugh as Sean runs his finger against the red X.

Sean: Hey the paints dry.

Doe: I THINK WE NEED A NEW CAMERAMAN. Ok get on the “Doe Flex” Sean.

A little kid is walking by the shot and John stops him in his tracks.

Kid: HEY! Your John Doe!

Doe: Yeah, what’s your name?

Kid: My name is Kyle.

Doe: You know how to work a camera?

Kyle: I saw it on…

Doe cuts the Kyle off.

Doe: Ok your hired (he points to the empty camera) you stand there and record me and Sean using the “Doe Flex”. Got it.

Kyle looks at the “Doe Flex”

Kyle: Hey my dad has that at home you just crossed out Bow and put Doe.


Kyle looks as though he is going to cry

Sean: Kids these days have no respect.

Doe smiles as he looks at the camera.

Doe: Now this machine is made for wimps like Alex Borden. Since his name is so long we are going to call him AB ok. Now as some people have tolled me AB is a very good wrestler. This Man loves to take cameras on the road with him. Hmm that is weird, Alex that’s why man inveted a studio, and a thing called The Promotion.

Sean: That’s a good one John.

Doe: Thanks, now back to you AB and not your stupidity that is you. Alex, if you owned the “Doe Flex” home gym you would be able you beat me. I take that back…even if you had the “Doe Flex” you couldn’t beat me.

Sean: (pointing at the camera) Because Alex is weak like all the rest of you out there!

Doe: To be as strong as Sean Edmunds WFW superstar you need the “Doe Flex”! How do you think Sean became so strong? Let’s take a look shall we.

CUT TO: Sean sitting on a couch looking at the camera. He smiles.

Sean: I use to be weak and not a good wrestler. Now with the “Doe Flex” I am stronger and faster, the “Doe Flex” changed my whole life and it can change yours too. You can own this wonderful machine with four easy payments of $95.99. This easy home gym can go anywhere in your house. If you want to be like Alex Borden then don’t buy the “Doe Flex” be weak and pathetic like the rest of the world, and just like Alex Borden. I tell you that if you buy this machine you will see results in two weeks!

FADE: Back to John Doe and Sean who is on the “Doe Flex” using the machine. His muscles are bulging out of him.

Doe: Even Sean Edmunds is having trouble using the “Doe Flex” see he is only on sixth resistance level, this is out of eight I would say that is about 310 pounds he is pulling. Not even AB himself can do that, and do you know why.

Because, AB is at a normal gym using free weights, he is most likely curling only 15 pounds, that little wimp. Why go from weight to weight, when with only a couple seconds you can change your desired weight with only a pull of the hooks. You can even buy this AB you can use the level one resistance, that may be too much for you, but hey who knows.

Sean stops working out as he looks at the camera.

Sean: Now even you can own this home gym, just call us at 1-800-GODOE11

Doe: once again that’s 1-800-GODOE11

Thank you for staying for us now here is my promotion…



NEW backdrop, that simple.


Wow, that “Doe Flex” commercial really has me beat. Now, time to actually talk to you Alex, now I really have had fun here at NEW, my whole run for the TV Title before has me sparked up for this match and all. I heard you are a very good wrestler. I mean I just noticed that most of the guys LaRoque hands me are just the rookie start off guys, well let me tell you this AB, that my record is going to have another win to it, I plan to make it another point up and rise in the rankings. I understand that you are a superb wrestler one of the few good ones in this industry. Let me say couple things before I go on a ransack of words that probably will not go through that think head of yours.

Now, I have been here a couple dozen matches and I plan to stay here for a while, hopefully this will not fail like the WWE or WCW, but hell most of these fans are coming to NEW to see me. The can careless about The truth hurts Alex, the truth can make a man break in tears, now I know you fear our match, don’t care for a man named Alex Borden, a name half these people won’t remember by the time Raucous is over.

Now enough about your stupid name let’s talk for real.

I am under the impressing that most people around here hate me. I love that, hate me Alex, all you want, frankly I love the fact you hate me. So, let me take the time out of my busy life to introduce myself.

In case you don’t know I am John Doe, I am a great and I will beat you. That’s all you need to know Alex, is the last intro and since you probably have a hard time hearing me cause your brain functions a bit slower than an average person, maybe a bit shy of 23 chromosomes, so I will say it slow I….WILL….BEAT…YOU.

There, all said and done with. Now as for our match well that has been decided already my immigrant friend. See I plan to walk out as we say on top, I plan to win. That is what I live for the win. I plan to dominate this match up one way or another. I don’t like rules, so if I have to win by cheating so be it, I don’t consider it cheating, I call it, the upper hand. And that is what I have Alex, the upper hand advantage.

More than likely you dislike me, or you want to kick my teeth in or something, ya you do whatever is going to get you pumped up for this match up, Alex. I want you to be at your best when you face off with me, not your worst.

Above and beyond anything else, do I actually think I am going to be able to defeat you? Answer - yes, beyond a shadow of a doubt, with all my heart - I believe it to be true, and my instincts have never failed me. Now, let me ask you a question - tell the truth. Search your soul and your demented inner-being for the answer, because it may well surprise you.

Out of all the opponents you have faced in your somewhat short career, do you realize that you have not won against a great? Yes, it's true, Alex. You are wimp. And, as much as I love to say it you are going to lose to one person - me.

Your entire career here in NEW is about to be focused around me right now, and that thought just eats you up inside, doesn't it? Don't get me wrong, now - in my view, I am not the type of person to model one's self after. I have my faults and flaws - hell, everyone does. But Alex, it looks as though like you don't have any sense of knowledge in that peanut you call a brain, and I have to point out how bad and idiotic you are. I'm saying it once - who are you trying to convince of your “greatness”? I still say it's you.

Look at yourself. Going back to your old stomping ground, basking in what you believe to be the remnants of your own "greatness?" You are living in the past, Alex, and that is not a good thing. It is not healthy, mentally or physically. Though, you're not mentally healthy, , to begin with, so no major loss for you there.
Oh by that I mean you’re brain dead.

I'll give you credit for one thing, Borden - you are good at fooling people with your wrestling ability. I'm almost impressed... but not quite. You see, disregarding the fact that I've been wrestling REAL greats while you have been wrestling some scrawny loser, I've just about seen it all. I've seen jokers like you, trying to make a name for themselves at someone else's expense. Hell - I tried the same when I was first breaking into the biz. But I learned, the hard way, that more times than not, it backfires against you in the long run. And for you, it will backfire when we face off. You are not unbeatable, and neither am I. Anyone who says differently is trying to sell you beachfront property in Wyoming.

But I can promise you one thing, and one thing only - and it is the only thing I can: when we face off against each other, there will be a winner - a decisive one. I will make sure of that. Will it be me? I believe in my heart that it will. However, if you do manage to bribe the right people and pull a fast one and get the victory, then so be it. I don't cry about getting beaten or not being able to beat someone - as you are so good at doing. That's why I am the true professional that I am. And that is why my quest for the gold goes through you at Raucous.

It doesn't matter to me what you "think", Jean Rabesque, Travis Smith, that man that wanted to face me so bad then decided to bail out and run away from our match. Now, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. I am no longer playing games with you. You will lose. Period.

By the way, when the hell have you ever done to DESERVE a match with me? Is Marcus and the others sure they want you to be in a match with me, are you sure you want to go in the ring with me? Because if you're not, you're in bigger trouble than I thought you were.

Alex, I am here for one reason, that TV Title, that belt has been calling me ever since I set my eyes on it, you are just another fool in my path of glory, see my glory is about to shine, I am going to shine. Let’s say I am the new SUPERSTAR in the night. I am the one everyone is looking at. What about you? What have you done here in NEW? You beat a couple guys so your ego tells you can defeat me? Guess again, it’s fools like you that I beat everyday, fools like you that I love to pin, and fools like you that give me wins. I plant to show you what wrestling is all about Alex, at Raucous you are going to truly know the full definition of pain.

Allow me the time to tell you the truth Alex. See the truth is I don’t care about you one bit. My question is how long have you been wrestling Borden? Me, I have been in this game for about 2 years and I have wrestled greats and have came close to beating them. Tell me who you have wrestled? Who have you beaten? No one. You will not be able to beat me, this match has already been decided it is unavoidable. The match is coming Alex, the match is coming I can taste your fear in the air. I like a shark in the water, and your fear is blood. My time is now, yours has already past Alex, it is my time in the big light, and they are cheering for me to win.

Alex, what do you think the outcome of this match is going to be? You think I am going to let you walk out walking on your own will? No. you are going to suffer. See Borden, I am not a man that likes to watch another man win, I hate that feeling when I lose. Do I know the outcome of this match up? Yes. I can feel it in my body that I am going to pin you 1…2…3.

But the truth does hurt Alex, the truth can make a man break in tears, now I know you fear our match, don’t EVEN deny it, I just thought I would use your sense of knowledge. Boren I fear no one, and I especially don’t fear you, I don’t fear this match because I know the outcome and you know the out come deep inside you…I will win.

Alex it has been fun and it will be a great match.

Yes a great match for me Borden, and a great learning experience for you. Ta-ta Alex Borden…



League Member
Apr 20, 2004
Cleveland, Ohio


Alex Borden roared off of Interstate-90 up exit 280. Cleveland. East German Village. Alex Borden’s hometown. He rode through the streets of the inner city with a heavy heart. Rumbling between his legs was a FLSTF Harley Fat Boy; a machine of power and energy that gleamed with chrome and sleek gunmetal. He raced down Fleet Street, through the familiar blocks that held a memory everywhere he looked. The city hadn’t changed- it just got uglier.

Alex traveled the main vein of the city- a four lane street lined with places of business and places to eat, supplying the local populace with anything they might need. The hanging signs and flashy advertisements thinly disguised the jungle that lay beyond them- in the blocks.

It was evening and the sun was beginning to sink past the R&D Steel factory on the horizon. Orange street lights clicked on in the fading daylight. Minutes later all the lights in the city lit up in preparation to take the plunge into another night. The bright darkness brought Alex back even more. The utter reality of where he was and where he was heading reverberated in his head. But through the quiet anxiety and hate he felt inside there was something underneath that warmed when he visited his boyhood neighborhood. Just as urban decay scars the face of this place, the happiness and freedom of his nights out still remained. It was those memories that Alex held on to. Those memories are what brought him back here.

Alex took Fleet until he came to East 140th and turned left into the blocks. He rode through long streets of duplex low-rent housing past the heavy glow of white streetlights. The sun was gone.

Motoring past the houses, Alex saw small assemblies of local black youths packed in front patios and balconies here and there. The blocks were speckled with groups of five to fifteen lounging outside, almost always accompanied by some thudding rap music. The various crews represented themselves that way- by being seen with the people they wanted to be seen with- which was a common sight. As expected, Alex was stared at. This was not only because he was a white boy on a cycle, but because by now just about everyone of them knew who Alex Borden was.

After a few more minutes of navigating the blocks, he arrived at his destination: a two story red house with a square of shaggy green grass surrounded by a cyclone chain-link fence. He came to a slow stop in front of the house and placed his feet on the road. Alex gazed over at this old residence, so much like all the others and yet so beautifully special and unmistakably unique. This place, this street, was home.

Alex took a moment before cutting the engine. He got off, took a deep breath, and started up the driveway. He walked up the stairs to the front door and knocked on the screen door. About ten or twelve seconds later, a slim woman with deep lines in her face answered. She lightly gasped and brought her fingers to her lips in surprise.

“Alex.” she said with disbelief in her voice.

“Hey, Ma.” Alex smiled.


Earlier that day...

Alex was arguing with his manager, Greg Birel inside a Hilton Hotel room in Jacobs County, Indiana.

“How could you not discuss it with me first?!” Greg demanded. “You completely violated everything we agreed to!”

“I didn’t think it was such a huge deal! Jesus, it was just some dumb merchandising thing!” Alex shouted back.

“They were T-shirts!” Greg cried. “The single most important staple in a professional wrestler’s career!”

Alex agreed to a merchandising deal the night before over a phone conversation with the NEW Head Offices. They said they needed final authorization on something called the “Borden Rep 24” marketing bundle. Alex assumed it was one of the many common merchandising decisions that hes been faced with lately. Greg handled most of it, but Alex figured he could take care of this one. He’s a grown man, after all. The next day, the travel schedule was interrupted and the bus deviated to Jacobs County, where Birel was waiting at a hotel. Alex was told this was because he needed to meet with Birel in person for an emergency ‘consultation’. Alex ended up getting an earful from his manager. It turns out, that marketing bundle he greenlighted over the phone was a major T-shirt deal.

“A ten thousand dollar investment! Its this kind of crap thats been ruining business since the depression- insubordination!"

“So you stopped the buses planned route and completely f*cked our promotional schedule to piss and moan about some phone call I received?”

“What, are you slow?! Due to that phone call my blueprint to market Alex Borden is going to be derailed in unrepairable ways! Thanks to your incompetence, those promotional dates will have to be put off!”

“Watch your f*ckin’ tone, Birel. First of all, I’m not going to lose sleep over some t-shirt design you don’t like. Second, this entire tour you have me running ain’t doin’ jack-sh*t for me! I’m just going in circles!”

“Of course its not working!” Birel scoffed. “I’m amazed anything works with a client that completely resists my guidance at every opportunity!”

Guidance?! HA! That’s a laugh. I saw what your ‘guidance’ accomplished in the ring! What good is a man on the field looking out for me when he only makes a bad situation worse?” he asked.

“The interference wasn’t my idea, Alex.”

“So you say. But what am I supposed to believe? Is every important match I have in NEW going to be ruined by interference from anyone who feels like rushing in? First a white ninja comes out to help me, then a black ninja runs out to completely screw me over! Its like some f*cked up Spy vs. Spy comic!”

“We will deal with them- whoever they are. We’ll unmask them and take every legal action.” Birel assured.

“When we deal with them? What the hell happened to Mr. Big-man-in-control? Now that there’s some real threat that actually threatens bodily harm, you want to hand me the reins?”

“That’s your job; you do the grunt work. That’s what you do. You’re the brawn, I’m the brains, get used to it. I let you do your job, and I’m going to do mine. Remember just what your station in this partnership is, Alex. You’re the instrument, I’m the player!” Birel snapped angrily.

“You’re so full of sh*t, Birel. You just watch yourself, asshole. ‘Cause unless things turn around right f*ckin quick, I won’t let you get away with this disrespect any longer. Then I think it’ll become clear just whose in charge here.” Alex ominously threatened.

“Thats already clear as crystal to me, Alex.”

“Yeah? Well f*ck this, I’m out of here.” Alex muttered and started for the door.

“Yeah, alright go! Leave just like before! Go run along and start another bar room brawl!”

“Eat sh*t.” Alex said and stepped out of the room.

“I hope you break your neck.” Birel said under his breath.

And so Alex left his seething manager behind as he had done before and started for some destination that was still a mystery to him. It wasn’t until he was on the road headed northeast for about thirty minutes that he made the decision to go home.


Richard and Sarah Borden’s home
1717 West 129th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
10:00 PM

For the first time in nearly ten years, Alex sat at his old kitchen table with his mother sipping a cup of coffee. She was a slender woman with pale skin and gray-green eyes. Her hair still flowed down her blue robe as smooth and silky as it ever had been. She rested her hand on his.

“Oh, sweetie, its so good to see you again. I keep hearing about you on the television. You made it.” Sarah Borden smiled. “I’ve been getting your letters.”

“Yeah. Things have been going real good for me, Ma. I’m wrestling in NEW. Thats the New ERA of Wrestling. Its pretty tough competition but I got a nice set-up over there. I have a manager and everything. Uh, have you... seen any of my shows?” Alex asked.

“No, hun. Things haven’t changed too much here. You know, with your father and everything.”

“Yeah.” Alex lowered his eyes.

“You shouldn’t have come, Alex. You could be arrested.” Sarah said, concerned. “You have to leave before your father gets back!”

“I know. But I had to see you again, Ma.”

A short lifetime ago Alex was kicked out of his house by his father and a restraining order was placed, forbidding him from ever returning. It is a known fact in Alex’s history, that he was tried for the attempted murder of his father, Richard Borden. Though the verdict was not-guilty, the circumstances leading to Alex attacking him with a crowbar are dark, sinister and unseen. To the uninformed collective, what he did made him a criminal of the most common and classic type. However, what has been and remains to this day so very well hidden is the secret truth that Richard Borden beat his wife and child mercilessly for years... until Alex did something about it. He sought retribution and found it in his fathers broken, bloody face.

“Where is he?” Alex asked.

“Your father should still be down at the mill. His shift ended a few minutes ago. You should go, son.”

GOD!” Alex cried out, exasperated. “Hasn’t that piece of sh*t been a burden on our lives long enough?! He hurt you, Ma. He hurt me. Dad is whats been keeping us apart all these years. Why do you allow it, Ma? Why don’t you leave him?”

“Oh, Alex we’ve talked about this too many times before already! I can’t divorce your father! I love him!” Sarah choked up. “You can’t ask me to do something like that! Richard is a good man, Alex. He works hard and he cares about me. He- he just gets overwhelmed sometimes and he lost control in the past. He hasn’t hit me in so many years. We’ve been going to consoling every week for a couple of years now, its been helping a lot. He has changed, Alex. Please believe me. He really is different.” she looked at her son with a heavy weight in her eyes, almost pleading with him to just stop trying to save her.

“Thats bullsh*t, Ma. You still make excuses for him.”

“Damn it, Alex, he didn’t deserve what you did to him! You smashed his face in! Thats unforgivable! Hes your own father, for God’s sake!” Sarah exclaimed, her voice quivering. “You almost killed him... I think sometimes that that was your intention all the time.”

“It was- and I’m sorry I didn’t.” Alex replied coldly.

“You broke my heart that night. I love you, Alex, I love you so much but you betrayed me and I still haven’t forgiven you.” Sarah removed her hand from his and frowned.

He felt as if he had been stabbed in the chest. As if he too had just been betrayed, spurned by what his mother said. “You haven’t... Ma...” Alex was at a loss for words.

“I will always love you son, but you almost killed the man I love the most in the world. You beat him half to death and things can never be right again.”

Alex closed his eyes for a moment, swallowed, and stood up before his mother.

“Alright, Ma. I guess I needed to come here tonight to understand something- that you haven’t changed. And believe me, neither has Dad. But you can fool yourself as much as you need to in order to support this f*cked up bizzaro world illusion of yours. I managed to escape him, I was able to make a life for myself outside and away from being under his thumb like you. And you’re still here, in this house, living the same delicate fantasy you’ve been living last time I saw you. My life is wearisome, and at times, its f*cking impossible, but at least I have a life. I pity you, Ma. Because you’re weak. I love you too, but as far as I’m concerned, I’m finished caring about you. You obviously don’t give a rat’s ass about me. Good-bye.”

Without speaking another word, Alex walked out of the house and out of that old life forever. Behind him, his mother bawled.

Coming there, he wished for a reconciliation with his mother. He longed to be a part of her life again, to make her proud. Now, having proved herself to be a hopeless case, he was ready to forget about her and move on.

As he walked down to the tree-lawn where his bike was parked, a red pick-up truck pulled into the driveway and came to a squealing stop in front on Alex. Sitting inside, with eyes bugged out in surprise, was Richard Borden.

“What... the... f*ck?!” The door swung open and Alex’s father jumped out and started walking toward him. He hadn’t aged very well. His hair was all gray now and receding down the middle of his head. He wore the same blue collar steel worker’s outfit and yellow hiking boots. “ALEX! What the hell are you doing here?!” he demanded, getting in his son’s face.

“Hello, Dad.” said Alex mockingly.

“You aren’t to come here, understand?! Never! You aren’t a part of our lives anymore! We don’t know you!” said Richard. His mother’s sobs still drifted from inside the house. “Oh my god, Sarah! What have you done to her?!” he ran past Alex inside the house.

A few seconds later, he appeared again from inside the front door. “I’m calling the police! This time, they’ll lock you up for good, you miserable punk!”

“Yeah? Tell Sheriff Tarigowski I said hello.” Alex taunted.

He laughed again in that odd way of his. When things got really heavy in his life, he never failed to feel some base sence of amusement from the sheer brutality and calamitous events in his life.

“The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Alex said to himself.

He got on the bike and revved it back to life. Without looking back, he tore down West 129th for the last time.


League Member
Apr 20, 2004
Cleveland, Ohio
Is that all you got?

Alex Borden is at the site of the latest promo in his young career, inside the United Civic Center. Like last time, he sits in one of the seats on the upper levels. The ring and set of Destrucity, the first Pay-Per-View in NEW history is in pieces below. A big crew of people bustle around, working tirelessly to put everything together. Alex is wearing black jeans and a White Zombie band T-shirt. His nappy brown hair is down, his bangs hanging slightly over his face. His feet are kicked back on the seat in front of him and his hands are resting behind his head. The camera slowly pans from the top of the Civic Center straight toward Alex lounging there. When the camera gets close enough to fill the screen with Alex’s form, he shifts his position to upright and attentive. The camera slows to a stop and Alex prepares to speak.

“Hello, society, this is addressed to you. The last thing anyone wants to hear is another promo like John Does’ . Not necessarily because you deserve better but because nobody deserves to listen to mindless blather, unless of course they decide to listen to it of their own free will, in which case, they do deserve it. The point is, I don’t intend to posture and talk trash. I’m just making a few declarations to help John understand his opponent a little bit better. Not that it matters of course, but still, I do this as a professional courtesy.”

Alex crosses his arms and begins.

“John Doe is one more example of how much potential our people have to embrace second class, processed cheese. This is what separates the wrestlers from the flavors of the month. John Doe, if that indeed is his real name, which it’s probably not, is just one of the few hackneyed, bumbling amateurs that we see cavorting around feeding off of applause, managing to make it in the business out of sheer novelty. They get as far as they do because they’re the local comedy relief. They make people laugh by telling jokes; they amuse the masses by stupidly launching themselves at their opponents.”

Alex frowns and shakes his head.

“Thats your value, Johnny. I’ve seen your whole act, and you are no different then any of the other Jeff Hardy wanna-bes I’ve seen.” Alex said, changing his focus to Doe himself. “For all your acrobatics and theatrics, you are no more immune to my right hook then Travis Smith was, who was an Edge wanna-be. I made an example of him, now look where he is- on vacation. Pay attention, John! You can not be a clown in the ring with me without suffering the price. I am not like the bucking horse at a rodeo; you can not get away from me.”

“I think I’ve already learned as much about you as I need to know. After I saw the commercial you made and the promo you released, the only fear I felt was that I’d never get the five minutes of my life back that you robbed me off with your neophyte CRAP that was nothing more then the regurgitation of what you’ve spouted so many times before! You said, in that embarrassment, that you have been in this business for two years, making you the veteran of the two of us. But in your bio it says that you lost your memory one year ago. Care to explain, John? How can you tell me how experienced you are IF YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MEMORY?!? You can because you got your head up your ass, and out of your mouth comes nothing but sh[bleep].”

Alex’s face twists into an expression of utter disgust. His upper lip curls as if he just smelled something repulsive. He frowns and looks straight into the camera.

“You make me sick. It doesn’t change anything though. Its of no consequence how many years experience you have on me. I’ve done my training, I’ve done my share, I’ve paid my dues and I’m not done paying them. I have fought all my life. I’ve been in some real wars, John. The life I’ve lived forges strength in the soul, or it breaks it down and annihilates it. I’ve survived my piece, [bleep]hole. You don’t even have a life before one year ago... if we’re to buy into your amazing tail... and by that I mean its a crock of bullsh*t.”

“So keep on flapping your gums, mystery man. No one expects to hear anything real come out of your stinking sewer anyway, so you can pretty much prattle on all you want. Hopefully, people will know by now to change the channel when a John Doe promo is on the air. Or just turn the sound down and concentrate on other, more intelligent activities like breaking beer bottles over each others heads or lighting themselves on fire.”

Alex smirks.

“I am so looking forward to beating your face bloody, I can’t stand it. I’m just hanging around Chicago trying to kill time till I finally get my hands on you. I keep running into twits like you in New ERA. I guess my work isn’t finished. I’m going to keep destroying people like you and I’ll keep going as long as I have to. I’m going to wrap my hands around your throat and squeeeeeze it till you stop moving and your face goes white.” Alex smiles. “Hey, who knows? Maybe the beating I’m going to put on you will cure your amnesia! Wouldn’t that be nice, John? To remember who you are? To remember your real name once again? Ah, but perhaps not, the gimmick would end and then where would you find work?”

Alex chuckles and sighs.

“Don’t worry about me, John Doe. From now on, you need to know that you must worry about yourself, whoever you are. Because I have very, very bad intentions, stranger. I want to hurt you.”

“Live on Pay-Per-View, the nation will see what Alex Borden is capable of and my message will finally become one step closer to being received- that Alex Borden deserves to face real superstars, not some bottom-feeding piece of garbage like John Doe. I should be in the main event, I should be facing Larry Tact! In a fair fight, I would always overcome him. I am cut from the stuff of true legends and my presence will be felt by everyone in attendance and by anyone watching at home. Destrucity will be Alex Borden’s night!

Alex leans in and pounds his fist against his hand with a dull smack. He laughs ominously and gets up from his seat. “See you in the ring.” Alex says mockingly and turns his back on the camera.

The camera begins to pan back up to the top of the arena as we watch Alex walk out of the aisle and down the concrete stairs toward the ring. Fade to black.


League Member
Apr 20, 2004
Cleveland, Ohio
Suck my dick, you lazy, rotten, b*tch!!!

(Fade in)

(We are on the set of a game show called ‘LAZY ROTTEN B*TCH’. The name of the show is spelled out all across the set in huge gray letters. The set is backlit with blue lights. The whole thing is obviously modeled after Jeopardy. Two booths rest next to a giant wall of monitors. Waiting behind the booths are our contestants. House lights are dimmed.)

(Theme music cues)

(The camera flies over the applauding studio audience while the house lights come on. The camera shoots around the set, getting extreme close-ups of the contestants.)

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to LAZY ROTTEN B*TCH!! Heres your host, ALEEEEEX BOOOOOOORRRRDEEN!!!

(The audience screams and hoots as Alex Borden walks in from the back and takes his place behind the host’s podium. He is dressed in a fine business suit and he has a gray wig on. A big smile is plastered on his face.)

BORDEN: Welcome to Lazy Rotten B*tch, the show where knowledge is put to the test, skill is honed and Lazy B*tches are brought to the limelight! Let’s introduce our contestants. First, from Crankshaft, Missouri, Todd Koontz!

(Shot of the smiling Koontz. Hes a skinny white man with a Burt Reynolds mustache. He waves to the camera.)

KOONTZ: Hey, Sheri!!

BORDEN: Nice to have you on the show, Todd. Saying hello to the wife at home?

KOONTZ: Err.. no. Sheri is my dog. I’m a veterinarian, I run the third best animal hospital in Crankshaft! See, I saved Sheri’s life once in a serious carnival ride accident, rust gears, you know. Anyway, since that day, Sheri’s been my best friend and dearest companion. In fact, every once in a while we’d grab some peanut butter and--

BORDEN: No, haha, its okay you don’t need to share. This gameshows only ten minutes long. Next, from Sulphur, Oklahoma, we have the lovely Kelly O’Toole!

(Shot of Kelly giggling and waving. She is an attractive blonde woman in a black dress.)

BORDEN: Now... O’Toole... is that Irish?

O’TOOLE: (stops smiling, confused) Uhm... no.

BORDEN: Oh no? Is it Scottish?


BORDEN: Where does your name come from then?

O’TOOLE: I... uh.. I don’t know. My mom’s bulimic.

(Borden just looks at her for a minute.)

BORDEN: Okay, moving on. Let’s hear our categories!

(CUTTO: The top row of the wall of monitors. The camera pans over each one as they are listed.)


(CUTTO: Borden and the contestants)

BORDEN: Todd, you’re first.

KOONTZ: Okay, uh... I’ll start out with THINGS THAT RHYME WITH ‘DOE’ for 100, Alex.

BORDEN: Okay for 100 dollars: This poet gained notoriety for his grim poem, “The Raven.”

(Koontz buzzes in, his booth lights up.)

KOONTZ: Who is Poe?

BORDEN:Correct. The board is yours, Todd.

KOONTZ: Okay I’ll take THINGS THAT RHYME WITH ‘DOE’ for 200, Alex.

BORDEN: This Mexican delight is the chief source of revenue for a major fast food chain.

(Koontz buzzes in.)

KOONTZ: What is the Taco?

BORDEN: Correct.


BORDEN: This plant can be found in South American cultivation plants.

(Kelly O’Toole buzzes in.)

O’TOOLE: OH! (giggles) Umm... what is grass?

BORDEN: ............Incorrect.

(Koontz buzzes in)

KOONTZ:What is Cocoa?

BORDEN: Correct!


BORDEN: This is the defining characteristic that best characterizes New ERA superstar John Doe.

(O’Toole buzzes in.)

O’TOOLE: What is... his great Ego?

BORDEN: No, I’m sorry, that is incorrect.

(Koontz buzzes in.)

KOONTZ: Uh, what is Shallow?

BORDEN: No, that is incorrect. The correct answer is ‘Ho’. John Doe’s defining characteristic is that he is a whiny ho. Todd is still in control of the board.

KOONTZ: I’ll take PLACES for 100, Alex.

BORDEN: This is the capital of the state of Wyoming.

(Koontz buzzes in.)

KOONTZ: What is Cheyenne?

BORDEN: Correct.

KOONTZ: PLACES, for 200, please.

BORDEN: This is the worst place to be in the event of an explosion.

(Koontz buzzes in.)

KOONTZ: What is... uh... a city park?


........................ Time has expired. The correct answer is inside John Doe’s pants, because unless you’re lucky enough to catch him during one of his herpes flair-ups, there is no adequite shelter for miles. Todd, the board is still yours.

KOONTZ: Uhm, COMMON SCENTS for 300, please.

BORDEN: This common kitchen herb grows wild all over North America.

(Koontz buzzes in.)

KOONTZ: What is Basil?

BORDEN: Incorrect.

(O’toole buzzes in.)

O’TOOLE: What is Chive?

BORDEN:Why...yes. Thats right!

O’TOOLE: Oh, yay! (She jumps up and down) I’ll take COMMON SCENTS for 200, Alex.

(The words DAILY DOUBLE flash over the screen and laser sound effects are cued. The audience hoots.)

BORDEN: And thats our daily double!!!! You each have sixty seconds to write down the correct answer. You may wager points from your current score, get it right, and win that amount in points! Get it wrong, and that amount is deducted from your total! Here is the answer-

This hideous creature produces a noxious stench so foul, even dogs and mesquitos will not touch it.

(The house lights dim and the classic thinking music plays. The contestants are bent over their booths writing. While we’re waiting, the camera pans over the audience.)

(The music stops and the lights come on.)

BORDEN: Okay times up. Lets see what you put, Todd.

(CUT TO: A blue screen with Todd’s handwriting in white. It says- What is The Mexican Farting Skunk of Omaha?)

BORDEN: Ooh, I’m sorry but that is an INCORRECT response! How much did you wager?


BORDEN: Ouch, that takes you down to 500. You may still be in the game though. Lets see what Kelly wrote.

(CUT TO SCREEN: What is John Doe’s mama’s vagina?)


(The audience cheers.)

BORDEN:How much did you wager?


BORDEN: She wagered her entire score! And that brings her to 600! Kelly O’Toole wins the game!

O’TOOLE: Oh yay!!!

(The audience cheers and the theme music plays.)

BORDEN: Well, thats our game, everyone! Thanks for watching! See you next time and remember, unless you want to get punked out by Alex Borden, you best try not to act like a....


(CUT TO: High shot of the audience clapping while credits roll. Fade out.)

John Doe

The Anorexic Ethiopian
Feb 2, 2004
Chicago, IL
Three Words Borden...Go F*ck Yourself

V/O: The Following Presentation is TV MA

Mature Audience:

Adult Language

Adult Content


John Doe looks at the TV monitor to his right, which is off camera. John gives some blank stares and shakes his head for a little bit. John looks at the camera then at the TV, which is playing Alex Borden’s latest promotion. The promotion finishes with no reaction from John whatsoever. John merely shows a bit of anger in him as he turns to a cameraman who is off screen.

Doe: What the f*ck was that?

CM: That was his promotion John.

Doe: That was his promotion?

CM: Yes sir.

Doe: That f*cking piece of sh*t is suppose to scare me?

CM: I guess so.


CM: Mr. Doe we are live in 3…2…1.


That was a waste of my time, this whole match up is a waste of my time. This has to be a pure utter joke seriously. Mean I just sat here and watched a f*cking life story. Alex get this straight, this is New Era of Wrestling, not f*cking Days of Our Lives or all My Children. No one cares about your mom, no one cares about your dad, and surly no one cares about you. Listen to me ok, I really don’t understand how you of all people got into New Era ok, seriously I mean I got in because I am that damn good, you my friend are a joke.

Do you know why I got STUCK in this match up? I will tell you because Travis Smith was too much of a p*ssy to face off with me. Do you understand that you are just a replacement for him? I mean, I was the original man to face off for the TV Title, it was me Vs Jean Rabesque, and I almost beat him, he had the upper hand he was the better opponent.

You understand I beat every man that came in my path in the TV Title Tournament. I beat them, and then I walked out with no title. I am not in this promotion to give you a sob story, like you like to do. But let’s think here. I have to beat you to become the #1 contender? No problem, easy as said. You are nothing, frankly I have no clue why they put you in a match with Larry Tact, the man with a true title. This TV Title is just a pit stop to my day of glory.

Ok, your mom is not your opponent, your father is not your opponent, I AM YOUR ENEMY. Get it straight, this isn’t let’s run around the god d*mn nation, you didn’t even address the real deal in your promotion, me. Now I hate to take lines from other wrestlers, but I quote the great Adam Benjamin “Right Down the Middle Baby!” That’s how this match is going to go a win for me. Why, because all you seem to care about is talking about your damn mom and dad!

F*ck your crack head mom and f*ck your mother f*cking dad. I don’t care about them so don’t talk about them. I am talking to you, not other people Alex. This match is all about me. Nothing about you, I am getting sick of hearing people crying over spilt milk, get it straight son, I f*cking don’t give two sh*ts about your family. All I care about is this match, this win, that #1 contendership.

But hell, I can’t stop you from talking about your parents.

See if I knew who my family was I would blab my mouth off about them, but I don’t. Alex, there are certain reasons that I give off why I will beat you, allow me this time to address these reasons.

V/O: Reason One: The irony of John Doe is that John Doe does not care. He is a vile human being with no justification for his actions.

Doe: Alex I will hunt down your family and gut them like the pigs they are and you know what, I won’t care. Understand that I do stuff without thinking of the consequences. Why because there are no consequences in the world of professional wrestling, especially when it comes down to a win or a loss.

V/O: Reason Two: Angered when others are not on the same thin line as him, narrow mind man, with ideal principles.

Doe: Whatever the hell that means I agree with it. See here in New Era I believe the only greatness is…well…me. I am great I am the almighty, you worship me, Alex. If you don’t agree with me, then I will hand your ass to you in a match. Let me tell you something about morals and ethics when I am finished ok.

V/O: Reason Three: He is John Doe.

Doe: Hell yeah! That’s the one I was waiting for this whole time! I am John Doe Alex, I am that good that I know I can beat you in a split second, that I can beat you around until you feel like you can’t live any more. Get this straight Alex, I really don’t care what you have to say. I really can care less about your life, about your feelings, all I care about is one person, me, and it will stay that way until I decide for it to change. So shut your mouth and you listen to me god d*mn it. You will be my opponent and you WILL lose to me.

V/O: Morals and Ethics.


Ethics is a main portion of our lifestyles as well as morals, moral values contribute, some do not like it, but it is a fact you have to face sooner or later in your life. So, let us talk about this issue more at hand.

Many people who talk about ethics use the term when referring to the most general codes by which humankind lives; that is, the code is behavior. So, let us talk about behavior for a minute, I will use myself and you Alex as an example to more define and give you better aspect of what I am coming across.

If you take me for example, I am a very troubled man, which is ironic if you think about, they but a troubled man, more troubled than you Alex to talk. It is very ironic, but non-the less, I stand here Alex. I wrestle, it is true, and I enjoy every minute of it. When I see the ring I become happy and excited. Since I know I am going to face off with you, my behavior has changed, is it my ethics? Or is it my morals that change me to become more aggressive and angered when I see you. Now it is not you that makes me angry it is the main fact that in my mind I think you are better than me.

For the most part, ethics is the study of people’s concept of right and wrong.

Therefore, we use the word “ethical” when we are speaking of that general code of right and wrong, so we say “Was that act or decision ethical?” we are asking if it meets the test of what is accepted as universally right.

But exactly is right? Is it me beating you, Alex, or you beating me. We generally have to accept what decisions we make are ethical. If I make a decision in the ring, I can alter the match, if I do something against the rules of wrestling it is considered wrong, but I seem to try and test the points of right and wrong, is the universe correct on certain rights? I believe so, some things are not right, take me for example I am mentally not right.

So, we move to the term moral. The study of morals also concerns itself right and wrong but more directly in terms of specific groups of people. The groups of people do not matter; it is the person in fact that does. Take me my morals differ from yours, yet they are in fact similar. I wish to have a title, you wish to have the title as well. Yet they are the same points, it revolves around the title. So what is the main aspect? The title that is what it is all about. So Alex, your morals and ethics vary form your decisions and what you choose to make it.

Now Alex, since you understand me better, and the morals and ethics of wrestling I thought I would get to know you a little bit better see I went to your hometown whogivesa****. Now if we can cut to my experience at whogivesa****.

CUTTO: John Doe walking into a village a sign next to him says Welcome To WhoGivesA**** Population. No gives a sh*t. John smiles as he walks into the town. It’s like one of those towns you always imagined with the little general store and whatnot. We CUTTO John sitting on a bench with a girl next to him. The girl is in her early twenties and is extremely sexy. John checks her out then clears his throat noticing the camera was recording.

Doe: Hi, Ashley correct?

Ashley: Yes, Hi Alex!

Doe: I’m John smart ass.

Ashley: No I was talking about Alex cause I know he is going to watch this.

Doe: Are you f*cking kidding me, we don’t care about Alex Boredom we care about me, John Doe!

Ashley: Oh, well whatcha wanna know ‘bouts Alex?

Doe: What do you think about Alex Borden VS John Doe?

Ashley: I think Alex will win!

Doe gives a blank look.

Doe: Is this town f*cking retarded, Alex how do you live here? Anyways that’s one Alex zero for John, so I guess we will just have to hit home won’t we.

Doe walks around for a bit then sees a big house. He walks up the stairs and knocks on the door, out comes ‘Mrs. Borden’ (it’s not really Mrs. Borden though, just looks like her). John smiles.

‘Mrs. Borden’: Yes? How can I help you.

Doe: Hi ‘Mrs. Borden’, I am John Doe and I have come for your opinion of Alex.

‘Mrs. Borden’: Alex, where’s my little baby boy at?

Doe: (to the cameraman) Momma’s boy. (turns back towards ‘Mrs. Borden’.) Well, on New Era your son is going to have to face off with me! And since I know you don’t watch the show I thought I’d visit you in person.

‘Mrs. Borden’: Oh no, no, no. You must of heard me wrong John, I said I don’t watch HIS matches, I most certainly watch yours, you are a grand wrestler!

Doe: Why thank you ‘Mrs. Borden’ now let me ask you a question. Who is going to win this match. Alex or myself John Doe!

‘Mrs. Borden’: Well, I certainly believe you can beat Alex.

Doe: That’s one Alex and one Doe.

Doe walks off the porch and skips towards a big mill he walks right in and stops in front of what seems to be ‘Mr. Borden’ (not really Mr. Borden though.)

‘Mr. Borden’: You’re John Doe! God I hope you whoop my son into his place, maybe his dumb ass won’t comeback to my home.

Doe: Why, I most certainly will ‘Mr. Borden’, now since I have your attention who do you want to win the #1 contendership for the TV title. Alex Borden or John Doe!

‘Mr. Borden’: As I see it I am 100% Pro Doe! And by the way John I bought the advancement in exercise. Ladies and gentlemen I have shed 18 pounds in 5 days, how you ask. Well all I did was buy the “Doe Flex” home gym system. For only four easy payments of $95.9 9 you too can own this wonderful system!

Doe: That’s right ‘Mr. Borden’ if you love New Era and you are pro Doe like ‘Mr. Borden’ here, than you need to order the “Doe Flex” home gym.

‘Mr. Borden’: Just dial 1-800-GODOE11 that’s 1-800-GODOE11! Don’t miss out. Get in shape now!



John Doe and Sean Edmunds sitting behind news anchor desks. Cameras turn to John Doe first.

Doe: We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring your this special new update.

Edmunds: Alex Borden is full of sh*t!

Doe: you took the words right out of my mouth Sean, Alex Borden has been setting the air waves with ignorance for the last 72 hours. Due to technical difficulties this studio has not been able to send a message back, well here were are. You think that I am just a plain joke? Here to amuse the fans?

Edmunds: Duh, that’s what we are all here for dumbsh*t, John at least gets the fans out of their seats, what do you do?


Sean: Exactly, you just bore us half to death. I watch New Era ever week, all you do is the same moves over, and over, and over. Like a little puss would do.

Doe: I am the man with talent. And yes John Do ei smy real name idiot, at least I learned to except what has happened to me, just like you are going to have to except what is going to happen to you at Destrucity.

Edmunds: Oh, don’t forget John, he’s seen your whole act!

Doe: Kiss my ass Alex! Edge? Who the hell is Edge? Are you talking about the WWE Alex? As far as I am concerned the WWE doesn’t exist anymore. Why doesn’t exist because federations such as New Era, Empire Pro, and The National Wrestling League are under Fwrestling circuit, whom has killed the WWE with ratings, so get it straight…..there is no WWE. And if I was a Jeff Hardy wanan be I would be a hell of a lot better.

Edmunds: He’s not the bucking horse in the rodeo John, you can’t get away from Alex Borden.

Doe: Yeah he’s not the horse, he’s the ass, the little ponies that they little the little kids ride. You Alex are nothing compared to me.

Edmunds: He wants to besat you bloody John, he wants to beat ya live on Pay Per View.

Doe: To Alex Borden I have to say one comment to the that….


Edmunds: (trying not to laugh) John dude that’s a lot of swearing….

Doe: Yeah I know…

Edmunds: ladies and gentlemen, this news has to tell you something.

Doe: What Alex is saying is just lies, on top of lies, he can’t beat me ladies and gentlemen. He can say he will, he can even think he will, but he won’t. See there is reasons for this that I explained, Alex is just another sh*t head wrestler that thinks he is the best int eh damn business, but truly is nothing great. Look at me ladies and gentlemen, you are look at the greatest wrestler alive to this date, f*ck Beast, f*ck Sands, and f*ck Alex Borden, John Doe is the future of this company. You know why Marcus signed me to New Era, because he knew I was that f*cking good, he knew that the minute he signed the contract that I was going to bring money in, what have you done around here Alex? Nothing….you have done nothing for the good of this company. Me, I am the company.

Edmunds: What is the future John? What is the future for Alex Borden?

Doe: His future is quire simple it is a future that involves a series of multiple beatings brought in part by me. Alex, keep that mouth we call a sh*t machine running because in the end that’s all you are all talk no walk. You say everything you want, that’s what the 1st amendment is for, frankly when we step in the ring I am going to show you why people never step back in for weeks, I retired “The Wolf” I retired Rage O’ Fire, where are they now? They are gone, I ended them. You are just next Alex, you are just another no good loser that is going to have to endure the suffering of losing. You ask me what is the future Sean? The future is quite simple, I am going to win, I am going to advance I am going to be the TV Champion. Get yourself in line Kid, you are just another no good loser that thinks he can step up to the plate, when you get to the bottom line you rae just another man that thinks he can fly. The only thing that is going to fly is your body across the ring when I toss you around like the ***** you are. The future is set for you Alex, the future is coming so quick it is going ot be a ***** to handle it. What you will see are Destrucity is only what is going to come for other superstars from me. Alex all I have to say to you is you doom is coming quick. You go ahead, you dig your grave, because at Destrucity that’s exactly what you are going to end up in. I am going to end your career, I am going to show you the true power of John Doe. You think you are the f*cking best thing to happen here, you are far from the truth, get it straight pal, I AM THE BEST GOD D*MN THING TO HAPPEN HERE ON NEW ERA! Your future is almost at it’s end, my future is just beginning, Alex, I can taste victory right now. Victory is in the are, your loss is in the air as well. I am not going to lay down and let you pin me, no, you are going to bow to me, you are going to beg for my forgiveness Alex Borden. So you just be ready for your end, you be ready for the ass whooping of your life. And that is going to be proudly brought to you by me. Alex…….

Edmunds: The future is coming…..

Doe: Can you feel it?

CUTTO: John Doe back in the studio laughing a bit.


God I love that commercial. Well, Alex let me tell you a little something. In all my months here in NEW I have never seen a man that acts just like me. See Alex we have a lot in common. Me I rose to the top quickly just as quickly as you have. See Alex, I think that you and I are the perfect combination and even though I am going to knock you around senseless at Destrucity I will give you the option of being my tag team partner once Marcus opens those again.

Now, back to me making fun of you.

This is way too easy, listen Borden, I don’t need another sob story I heard to many of them, I don’t need to know about your stupid promotion of T-shirts all they want is the “Doe Flex”. Alex until you truly understand my power then will you be able you defeat me, so good luck, Alex.

HA you thought I was done, hell no you stupid f*ck.

Let me let you in on a little secrete Borden, are you ready…ok. The TV Title is the title I first set my eyes upon, it was the first title I competed for. I always want to win it. I always wanted to beat the champ. You Alex are in my f*cking way, you and everyone wants to bring me down from a goal, you and the rest of NEW want to attempt to destroy me…

Good f*cking luck.

Because frankly I think I have this on in the bag Alex, I have this win in my grasp you my friend are not in my game plan. I will once again rise to the TV Title, and I will win that title if it is the last thing I do in this life. You have no clue how it feels to be inches from the gold, and with this match, you will NEVER feel it in your life, or as long as I stay here in New Era. Get it straight Alex, my time has come, yours is still on the way.

The system is beautiful if you actually think about it. See I get to beat you, see if I get to beat you I get a shot for the TV Title will be mine Alex. That title should have been mine weeks ago at the TV Title Tournament, but now this is my chance to show once again that I am able to win, that I John Doe am champion material.

This match has already been decided each time verbal puke comes out of your mouth Alex, it in fumes me with anger. Then once we face off in the ring a true winner will be crowned Alex, that winner shall be me, one way or another I will walk out with fans chanting my name above yours. Alex, this match, means a lot to me, this match is my only way to get back on top, to reach the title once again, you are just a roadblock, not even a good one just a little orange cone. I will merely drive past you laughing.

You really want to beat my face in? Go ahead try and do it, you can try and beat me senseless, I’d love to see you final in your quest to defeat me. Your anger is filling ou do it get mad, do whatever it takes to get mad, if that what brings you to the your full level of wrestling then so be it only proves more that I can beat you at your best. Your fate is about to come in one swift pin, you think I am a Jeff Hardy wanna be? Well you keep saying that because all you are is a man that believes he can wrestle but the whole world can see that he is a fluke, a man that just was a lucky on the. Your luck has run out Alex, this is my spotlight, you just have to be the shadow right now. Make sure you think before attacking a great such as myself with words it’ll come back and bit your in the as* son.

You think you really deserve a shot at the TV Title, think again. You don’t deserve sh*t. I’ve seen dogs bigger than you. And I surly have wrestled mush better men than you ever will. See Alex you are nothing compared to me, you can yap all you want. Blah…blah…blah…I’m gonna kick your teeth in…blah…blah…blah...I’m gonna beat ya to a bloody pulp. Do me a God d*mn favor and shut the f*ck up. I never want to here your pathetic mumbo jumbo ever again. Frankly I thought the talk with your family was boring but Alex you crossed the line. See you can come over here and try to hit me, if you do hit me, it’s because I let you.

You are not a worthy opponent you will never amount to me, honestly you not in my league. Get it straight Alex, you are not good at all, you will never be good. You are just a man that they picked to fill in a roster spot. You think you can beat me?

I’m gonna beat you, I’m going to crucify you, I’m gonna beat ya really bad. Get that Alex, what’s my prediction for this match?


Yes pain for you Alex, the pain of knowing you lost, the pain of knowing you’re not as good as you thought. Get real Alex, you are looking at a man that has a goal, and you are just in this to see how far you can make it. I am in this game to win, you are just a man, I am a great man. See the difference? There is a fine line separating me from you Alex, what is that line? That line is the one that shows the willing to the unwilling, I will put my life, career and body on the line to win this match, you will just go until you feel it is unnecessary to continue. It seems Larry Tact didn’t end you in that match, well now it is my time to step up to the plate and end your pitiful reign.

Thus Alex, I need to defeat you, I need to kill you in this match. You think you are going to bust me open?! (John breaks into laughter) Are you serious? Your over confidence in yourself will bring your final downfall. In the end I plan to pick you up from the canvass, I plan to shake your hand, and my arm will be raised declaring my victory over you. Can you feel it Alex? Can you feel my victory coming in full speed. This PPV is not about you, nothing will be surrounded around you. Everything is surrounded around me. The Earth is revolving around me, Alex. Understand what I am saying? When I walk down to the ring and they announce my name that’s the name the fans will remember and you will remember it to. You will remember all of your life.

Think about it Alex, at least you are going to face off with a great, at least you w ill be able to tell your kids, I lost to John Doe. And your children will say, John Doe is my favorite wrestler, you will hold your head in shame, knowing you were not good enough that your proving to be the loser you are deep down inside of you. Hell is going to be unleashed upon you at Destrucity. You are just going to have to bare the dishing I am going to release on you.

Alex you better be ready for the loss of your life, I will laughing your face when it is all over Alex, I am going to tell you, I told you so, that I was right, that you really are a joke. Then you can go home and go cry to your mommy about how you got your ass whooped by me.

This match is about to show who the true wrestler is and who the joker is. Alex in case you haven’t noticed, I am the Ace in the deck you are the joker. And in this game Alex the Joker has no place. I am wild card, I can pose as anyone I want, and soon enough Alex I will be the King. I will reign above the rest. I am going to prove to the world that I am not just a man who decided to wrestle and had a couple lucky matches no Alex. I am a man with a vision and that vision is the TV Title around my waist with my name plat on it, and all i have to do is beat you and Chaos for that belt. This match is mine, this industry is mine, and soon enough the TV will be mine.

So why am I still here, why am I still in promotion. Because f*cking idiots like yourself need to here the message 2 three times before they understand it. Well Alex Borden understand this….


That’s why I am going to beat you. That is why I am going to win, and that is why you will not beat me. This match is not my base. I really careless what happens to you after this match. But as a close friend of mine Larry Tact said to you: “Hell this is a free country if you want to be a wrestler so be it.” You go ahead be a wrestler, me I am just going to whoop your ass like I am paid to do. This is what I am paid to do, I am paid to win, people beat on me. I am going ot give these people the show they paid to me. At the end I am going to get everyone’s attention, and they are going to cheer as I go on to wrestle for the TV Title. You my friend well you can continue your quest on being a “professional wrestler” but you will fail. I don’t give a flying f*ck who respects you, if Larry Tact respects you that is fine. Me I would sh*t on yoru grave and use your moms hair to wipe my a** get it now? I don’t care about you, Chaos, or anyone in New Era, all I care about is numero uno John Doe.

My destiny is coming, Alex. My title is in the air. It is close enough for me to taste it. You think you deserve to be the #1 Contender? You make my laugh, you are a joke, you are the loser, you are going to feel my wrath. Next time you decide to promote make sure it isn’t a f*cking soap opera for it doesn’t bore the hell out of me Alex Borden.

Alex in couple days you will see what happens when you step toe to toe with me in the ring, you will see what happens to people whom are in my way. You are the rung in the ladder, just one more step Alex and I will be crowned the TV title champion. Alex I am gong to shoe you the pain that other superstars had to endure when they went toe to toe with me, be prepared Alex for a match that you will learn from and I will achieve from.

Time is ticking Alex, time is ticking till we face off. Alex I wish you the best of luck even though it will fail you no matter how much luck you have.

Oh and Alex, I hope you remember that…

“ I Am Not Just Anyone…I Am John Doe”


V/O: The promotion bloopers…


A backdrop that is playing the John Doe entrance over and over. John walks in from the left of the screen, He halts turns and gives the middle finger. Then walks off screen.

Director: John Doe promotion take two.

John walks in from the right this time dressed in Alex Borden’s attire and looks somewhat like him.

Doe: Well, I’m Alex Borden and I suck d*ck.

Director: (Laughing) John promotion take 3.

John comes in dog crawling into focus. John acts like he’s shooting a gun.

Doe: Cover me soldier! Under fire!

All of a sudden Sean Edmunds hops into focus and jumps next to John.

Edmunds: Cover FIRE! Soldier!

Doe stands up then acts like he’s been shoot six or seven times with the twitching and all.

Doe: Tell Sally (fake cough) that I love her.

Larry Tact walks past the shoot.

Tact: Whoops wrong studio. Hey you guys are playing soldiers again! Oh man! (Larry acts as though he is shooting a guns as well. BAM! Ha I got you!

A Cameraman hits the ground acting as though he is dead.

(everyone in the studio starts to laugh)

We are know at a sign that says Welcome To River Grove, John sneaks into focus with a spray paint can. A bit later it reads Welcome to WhoGivesA****.

Doe: This a spray paint can. That is Alex’s home town…

Director: And that’s a cop!

A cop pulls up and gets out of the car. John runs.

Doe: F*ck you piggy!

Director: John Doe promotion take 4

Doe is in what seems to be some bushes. He crawls in them looking as what seems to be ‘Alex Borden’(it’s not really but hey)

Doe: (in the crocodile hunters voice) As you can see this animal thinks he is the predator of the jungle, but he really isn’t. See Alexanderian Bordeninum is a rare animal and should be extinct oh I’d say by Destrucity, lets look at in it’s natural habitat.

‘Alex’ starts to pick his butt and then sniffs his finger. He licks the finger smiling.

Doe: As you can see he is to poor to by food and is to lazy to do anything but pick his butt and eat his own sh*t. ‘Alex’ is what we call in the animal classification of Idiot-moronic.

All of a sudden Larry Tact walks past into focus.

Tact: Didn’t I whoop your ass already boy!

‘Alex’ Gets up and runs

John Doe and Sean Edmunds on a black backdrop that says “Doe Flex” in big red print.

Doe: Are you sick of being fat!

Edmunds: Is you whole life centered around food and watching the tube.

Doe and Edmunds: Then buy the “Doe Flex” Home Gym System!

All off a sudden John is walking into a guys living room. The man looks like ‘Alex’ he is chomping on Burger King and some other junk food.

Doe: Don’t be like ‘Alex’ here!

Sean comes in from the left of the screen.
Edmunds: If you’re a fat piece of blubber then get the “Doe Flex”

Doe: If ‘Alex Borden’ bought the “Doe Flex” he would be like Larry Tact!

Cut to Larry Tact sitting on a stool.

Tact: Well I bought the Doe Flex and now I am the world Champion! And I am going to whip your ass in shape Jean Rabesque!

Doe jumps into the picture.

Doe: Yeah and I am going ot beat your ass Alex Borden!

Sean Edmunds jumps on the other side of Larry Tact and appears in the shot.

Edmunds: And if I had an ass to whoop I’d whoop it until his momma felt it.

The three of them fall into uncontrollable laughter.

Director: And cut.


OOC: I apologize fully for leaving you hanging Alex with this R/p my Winword was broken and I just got a new pc and had to reinstall everything you’re a good opponent and it has been a pleasure R/ping against you. GO E-MACHINES!
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