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A Day in the Life of Gene Snitsky

Sean Taylor

League Member
Sep 3, 2004
Kingston, Ontario
(Gene Snitsky is standing in WWE Headquarters filming a promo for next week's Raw.)

Gene: But Kane, you losing your baby was (eyes go wide) NOT . . . MY . . . FAULT!

(Gene ends his promo and walks off. He goes to his car. He drives home and is met by his younger brother.)

Hey man.

Brother: Hey.

Gene: Hey sorry about my boss, Eric Bischoff, yelled at you at Ta-Boo Toosday.

Brother: It's no problem. At least I got my face on TV.

Gene: Yeah that's cool.

Brother: Hey I wanted to talk to you about that case of imported beer you gave me yesterday.

Gene: You like it?

Brother: Well, it was kinda thick. I don't think it was made right. Did you make it yourself?

Gene: No.

Brother: It tasted kidna like that beer you made in basement a few years ago. That stuff was terrible.

Gene: Hey I already told you. That was (eyes go wide) NOT . . . MY . . . MALT!

(Gene leaves in a huff and heads to his part time job at the bank. He puts on his name tag and stands behind the counter. His boss tells him that he and the rest of the staff are going to lunch and that Gene will be alone in the bank. A few minutes later, a man wearing a black ski mask runs in and pulls a gun on Gene.)

Gimmie all the money in the bank right now.

(Gene, following bank policy, opens the register, and starts piling moeny into a bag.)

I want all the money. Go over there and get that moeny outta there too.

Gene: I can't.

Robber: What do you mean you can't? Just open it up and gimmie the money!

Gene: I can't.

Robber: Why not?

Gene: It's (eyes go wide) NOT . . . MY . . . VAULT!

(Police sirens are heard and the robber takes off. After the incident, Gen goes home and joins his family for a home cooked dinner.)

Brother: Hey, Gene, how was your day.

Gene: Same old, same old.

Mother: Well sit down at the table and have something to eat.

(Gene reaches into his mouth and pulls out the two ping pong balls from his cheeks. He sits down and starts eating.)

Brother: Hmmm. These potatoes are a little bland. It needs something. Gene, can you pass that over?

Gene: I can't.

Brother: Why not?

Gene: (Spitting food on the table) Becauseff it'sf (eyes go wide) . . . NOT . . . MY . . . SALT!!

Brother: Just do it.

(Gene stands up and throws his utensils on the table and puts the ping pong balls back into his mouth.)

I don't have to take this! I just beat Kane in a Weapons of Choice match at Ta-boo Toosday. I'm not some monkey with an accent that's a combo of Razor Ramon and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I don't need this!

(Gene walks to the front door.)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to baby sit for the Johnsons down the street.

(Gene leaves.)

Danny Collins

League Member
Sep 4, 2004

:D LMFAO! Jesus Derek that was funny as hell! I laugh every time Gene comes on screen anyway.

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