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A women's work....


New member
Jan 1, 2000
Boldon UK
(OORP: I know this is after deadline but I had some internet problems last night!)

Jane Smithfield leant back in her chair and rubbed the back of her neck, she had been working on her PC now for an age and she needed a break. She looked out the window of her hotel room at the blue sky and wished she were out there enjoying the fresh air. She had jumped at the chance to become PR to Simply Stunning, it was her first real major job, the money is great, the travelling is fantastic, and they aren’t bad looking men either. She always knew that it would be a hectic job, and it has certainly lived up to the expectation.

With the tag team champions being so marketable they are in constant demand, from public functions to charity days, from autograph signings to interviews, everyone wants a piece of Simply Stunning. Quite simply there aren’t enough hours in the day and Jane was struggling to please everyone, especially the boys. She knew they needed time to train and prepare, as well as time off to relax and get away from the hustle and bustle. If she could help it she kept the out of ring duties to a few hours a day, not that the boys minded though, but she could sense that their spirits were flagging after the three hundredth autograph was signed.

Jane pushed herself away from the table and walked over to her veranda and stepped out for a bit of fresh air, it was colder than she expected and she hugged herself as she perched herself on a table. As she watched the world go by she thought on to the match her newest employers faced, their training schedules were heavy and she hoped that she hadn’t put too many extra activities in their road. She knew that the CSWA expected their wrestlers to visit functions and so forth, but Jane was wary that she had asked too much of the young champions. As the wind started to blow a collection of leaves blew onto the veranda and Jane swept them off her pants before kicking them away with her sandals before returning back to the comfort and warmth of her hotel room.

Back inside she kicked her sandals off and sat cross-legged on her bed with her PC in front of her as she checked the schedule she had made for Simply Stunning. As she did so thoughts of them filled her mind, and in particular that of Simon Wilcox. He was one of the main reasons she’d taken the job, she’d always liked him, Michael was nice, but Simon was gorgeous. She tried desperately not to make her feelings known, and she tried to make sure she treated them the same but she couldn’t help but think of him. She knew it was unprofessional, and that if she were to come clean about her feelings she would have to resign but she couldn’t fight those feelings.

Jane was aware that Michael was taken an interest in her, and in her heart of hearts she was hoping Simon would as well. She had even contemplated coming onto Michael in the hope it may stir Simon into doing something but she felt such a brazen approach might be too much. At the moment all she could do is try and help the boys hold onto the titles the only way she could, by spreading out their workload as evenly as possible. She knew she would eventually get her man, it was just a question of when and how, but she would have him, and there is nothing that can stop her.

Calamity Jon

League Member
Jan 1, 2000
What Women Want ...

(FADEIN to the mighty MEN OF ADVENTURE, "IRON JOHN" WAITS and BENJAMIN "BIG TOM" REMUS, decked out in full trapper regalia and sitting around a campfire in the middle of the woods. Tom holds a stick with what appears to be an unskinned, half-burnt squirrel in the fire, John has one as well but is leaving it laying half in the fire as he presses his hands to his temple and sways side to side, humming an even monotone.... Tom stares in astonishment)

Tom: "...friend John?"

John: "Hrmmmmmmhrmmmmmmmyyyyes friend Tom?"

Tom: "What in the bloody blue hell are you doing?"

John: "Well, friend Tom, I'll tell you" (he drops his hands from his temples and stops humming, but continues to sway side to side) "It may be this half fermented Corn Mash
or the seventy-eight Poison Oak you had me eat on a dare, but I ... SEEM ... to have developed ..." (the camera zooms in as John's face is dramatically underlit) "STRANGE PARANORMAL POWERS!" (pause) "Hrrrmmmmmmmhrmmmmmmm..."

(Cut back to John and Tom sitting by the fire.)

Tom: "And it may be the Corn Mash on my part as well, but I feel compelled to ask: What kind of paranormal powers, John? Does it have something to do with spirits? And haintings?"

John: "Tom, I appear to be seeing ... INSIDE A WOMAN'S MIND!"

Tom: "You mean, you can see what women want, friend John?"

John: "Surprisingly, I'd always thought all they wanted was d(BLEEP)ck, but this one hasn't thought about it ye - oh, wait, there we go. D(bleep)ck."

Tom: (in a very animated fashion) "Can you see into her mind at the part where she steps out of the shower and maybe sees herself in the mirror and then maybe she decides to self-examine her breasts but she can't tell anything from that angle so she calls a supermodel friend of hers, or three, to help? Or seven?"

John: "No, but I'll damn sure be PRETENDING to see that later! No, Tom, sadly I'm seeing the boring mental perambulations of some wearisome whore by the moniker of ... Jane ... Sm ... Sm ... Smith .. field .... ted ... jen ... son."

Tom: "You mean Jane Smithfieldtedjenson, the world famous PR Agent for CSWA Tag Champs Simply Stunning!? AMAZING! Tell me, what's it like in the dainty and perfumed shoebox that is a woman's brain!"

John: "It's ... have you ever seen General Hospital?"

Tom: "No."

John: "Ever read a Harlequin romance novel?"

Tom: "Just the parts that are thinly veiled and overwritten descriptions of f(BLEEP)ing."

John: "Good man. I don't know where I was going with this, but I was mostly testing to see if you'd gone F(BLEEP)G on me when I wasn't looking! Real Men of Adventure only watch television shows where someone gets hurt! And Books is for sissies! And yet, Tom, I suspect that General Hospital and romance books are much like what I have seen of the lives of the current CSWA World Tag Team Champions through the eyes of one Miss Jane Smithfieldfredtedjenson, for it is an emotional, dandified world of perfumed panty liners and custom knit doilies ... FOR CUSTOM CAT RECLINERS!"

Tom: "It's horror beyond comprehension!"

John: "Such as it is, friend Tom, but then again it is OPPORTUNITY. Surely in such a world of tender emotions and romantic intrigue as live the current world champs, the burly and back-haired BRUTE TESTOSTERONE-PACKED PHALLUS-SWINGING STINKING ARMPITTED MIGHT of the MEN OF ADVENTURE will BATTER THEM to pink, rose-scented FRAGMENTS even as we RIDE AWAY ON HAIRY, LARGE-TESTICALLED HORSES upon ODIN'S very SPUNK STORM ITSELF, bearing as our banner of triumph THE CSWA TAG TEAM TITLES! Can it be doubted? We have seen in this woman's mind the DOWNFALL of the CSWA Tag Team elite!"

Tom:" Ho HO, Friend John!"

John: "To victory, HO HO, Friend Tom!" (They swig another big draught of Corn Mash) "Oh, wait, screw telepathy, now I think I'm picking up EPSN 2 ... Hrrmmmmmmm hrrmmmmmm ..."

(As the Men of Adventure roast squirrels around a campfire - and who here doesn't share that precious memory - the camera pans back and FTB ...)


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