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Where's my money, Chad?
(CUEUP: “Thief’s Theme” by Nas)
(FADEIN: Fans crowded around a restaurant bar area, drinks in hand, cheering and yelling in front of the camera. Some are sticking their fingers out, “#1!” Others are pulling on their NLW t-shirts and pointing to their hats of various NY/NJ sports teams. The NLW logo appears on screen next to graphic text that says, “After Hours w/Strawberry B!TCH” The camera then fades to the main stage, front of the bar, where STRAWBERRY B!TCH is standing with a microphone. The busty redhead is wearing a black mini-skirt, matching knee-high black boots, and a white button-down short sleeve with enough buttons undone to reveal her 36DD implant job. Damn!)
StrB!TCH: Welcome to NLW After Hours, coming to you LIVE from the brand new ESEN bar and grill in MANHATTAN! (cheers!) I’m your host, Strawberry, and tonight we’re bringing you a hot 15 minutes of backstage info, interviews, and anything else we can cram in.
(Camera zooms out slightly to reveal NLW President/Owner RA PALAZZO standing next to her in expensive denim jeans and a tight black polo. He’s also holding a microphone. Next to RA is ‘DANGEROUS’ DUKE MACKEY, looking PISSED with a huge black and blue mouse under his eyes, and bruises along the side of his face)
StrB!TCH: Right now, we have a couple of special guests in the studio. Please welcome NLW Owner RA Palazzo…
(CHEERS! Crowd begins to chants, “R-A! R-A! R-A!”)
StrB!TCH: …and NLW wrestler, and part time Scores nightclub attendant, ‘DANGEROUS’ Duke Mackey! (More cheers!) So let’s get down to it guys. A LOT happened tonight at Vulgar, and people are wondering how it’s all gonna impact the pay-per-view. First and foremost, can you tell us…what THE HELL is up with Carlos Canyeta, and what the fallout from tonight is?
PALAZZO: (clears throat) Sure. Basically, when I started NLW, we had a rule about who would be put on the payroll and whatnot. What happens is, a lot of these independents start up with limited budgets, as is the case with us, and they overpay big industry stars to come and work for them thinking it’s going to drive ticket sales and they’ll profit. What ACTUALLY winds up happening, is ticket sales see a moderate, temporary spike, and long-term profits aren’t enough to keep the ship going. They spend all their money on these big stars, and meanwhile the young guys who are there for the long haul and are the ones who your company should be built on, there’s not enough money to keep them around. Our goal was to build a roster of young, up and coming athletes, and if a deal came around that made financial sense for us in terms of bringing in a ‘name’ athlete, we’d consider it. Perfect example: Impulse gave us the hometown discount.
StrB!TCH: And that wasn’t the case for Canyeta?
PALAZZO: Well here’s the thing- Canyeta isn’t on our payroll. And man, I really, REALLY didn’t wanna go into this, because I hate giving this guy any more free publicity than he deserves, but it’s gotten to the point where I have to address it. Anyway, his little buddy there, Arcangel IV, that’s the guy I signed to a contract. He asked if we would consider bringing in Canyeta, who once upon a time was a big star but fell totally off the map. And I said yeah, I’ll talk to him. Fast forward, past our meetings…and this guy’s asking for f*cking money like it’s still 1998! Not only THAT…but he wants a guaranteed title shot.
StrB!TCH: Ouch.
PALAZZO: Right? This guy’s out of his f*cking mind. Then he ambushes our television tapings to accuse me of being a RACIST, which anyone who knows me knows what load of BULLSH*T that is. Arcangel’s been refusing to wrestle until we sign Canyeta to the contract he’s demanding, so I tried firing him. Problem is, he got his lawyers involved, and to be quite honest, with all the legal fees, I just don’t have that kind of money right now. Not while we’re trying to get this thing off the ground. So we just stopped booking him altogether and were hoping the two of them would just go away.
StrB!TCH: Lemme stop you right there, RA. Now, you know I love ya, babe, but you saw what the two of them did tonight. I was there and saw them attack Duke, and they even threatened me! No joke guys (looks at audience), I was scared…like, scared as hell! But there’s gotta be something you can do, ‘cause we can’t just have them beating people up every show. They even beat up Zesty later on in the show!
PALAZZO: OK, here’s the scenario. In light of what happened, I contacted Arcangel’s management and said, “Look, this can’t happen anymore. If they keep showing up, I’m gonna have to hire more and more security, and the situation’s gonna get uglier. This doesn’t get them through the doors any quicker, and it doesn’t make my life any easier.” So I proposed that we set up a match at the pay-per-view. Arcangel IV gets in the ring with this man, Duke Mackey, and we make it a lumberjack match. (CHEERS!) The stipulation is going to be that if Mackey wins, Arcangel stays with us for the duration of his contract, but agrees to stay away from the building, Canyeta too. If Arcangel wins, not only will I let him back into the building, but I’ll allow Canyeta to appear in taped segments. (BOOS!) And he can state his case to the NLW fans, why he’s too chicken sh*t to come in here on a standard contract and fight the best new talent in the world.
(Fans begin to cheer; DUKE MACKEY takes the microphone from RA)
MACKEY: Y’know, I just wanna say one thing. And Carlos Canyeta, I HOPE YOU’RE WATCHING THIS, BRO! Because WHAT YOU DID TONIGHT…attacking me two on one, like a P*SSY, it doesn’t take guts. But if you wanna prove you’re a man, you wanna prove you’ve got the balls to hang with OUR lockerroom, then your buddy Arcangel’s gonna meet me in Hartford, at Eye for an Eye. And bro, it ain’t gonna be like it was in the street tonight. I’m gonna have all my boys surrounding the ring, keeping YOU OUT, and keeping your girlfriend IN. There’s not gonna be a quick victory, I’m gonna TAKE MY TIME with him. Make sure he leaves with a hospital bill bigger than the one he left me, and beat him so badly he wouldn’t come back if RA invited him through the FRONT F*CKING DOOR!
StrB!TCH: Don’t let ‘em get to you Duke, I saw-(interruption)
MACKEY: No Strawberry, they got to me…THEY GOT TO ME! And man, I want you so f*cking bad, Arcangel, I CAN’T WAIT! It’s not a brown thing, or a white thing, it’s a black and blue thing…(crowd cheers!)…because that’s what color YOU’RE GONNA BE when we get to Hartford, bro. You just wait…you just f*ckin’ WAIT!
PALAZZO: (looking at Strawberry) He’s fired up. He’s pissed, and I don’t blame him- I’m pissed too. But I’m fully confident, all debts are gonna be settled at Eye for an Eye.
StrB!TCH: Speaking of Eye for an Eye, we now know it’s going to be Zesty Mordant versus Vic Gravender in a number one contender’s match. Bobby Jack Windham cost Eddie Patton his shot to get in on that, and also challenged him to a steel cage match in Hartford. Is that match going to happen at the pay-per-view as well?
PALAZZO: We weren’t sure what was going on with that, but I talked to Eddie at the end of the night, and he accepted the match. (BIG CHEERS!) You know, they’re both 1-1 against each other- Eddie thought all scores were settled at the Grand Prix, but obviously Bobby Jack felt differently. But at Eye for an Eye, in a 20 foot steel cage, the score will FINALLY be settled, and hopefully both men can move on after that.
StrB!TCH: Cool. Any word on upcoming shows, pay-per-views, special events…?
PALAZZO: Yes, we’re already in talks to broadcast another pay-per-view on DirecTV from the Izod Center in New Jersey. What’ll happen is, we’ll do four more Vulgars after Eye for an Eye, and hopefully get that next big event on PPV sometime in the fall. I’m thinking October, November at the latest.
StrB!TCH: And for all the fans inquiring about Eye for an Eye, tickets are still on sale, and that event will be on Saturday, August 7th, from the XL Center in Hartford, Connecticut. RA, we’re all pretty concerned for Impulse. How is he holding up, and will he be 100% for his match with Magnus?
PALAZZO: I can’t say he’s gonna be 100%. Probably not, given the severity of his injury. Honestly, I’m surprised he’s even going to wrestle, and I told him, personally, that he shouldn’t. I was gonna re-book it as a threeway dance, between Magnus, Zesty, and Vic Gravender, given tonight’s results. But Impulse swears he’s good to go, and I believe him. Sort of (laughs). That’s a tough injury to come back from.
(Smarky fan yells out: “YOUR BROTHER DID IT!”)
StrB!TCH: We have a minute left, so real quick: is there another championship title in the works?
PALAZZO: (smiles) There is, but it’s a little ways off. We’re still naming it, and I can tell you the path to winning it will be different from what we did with the Open Weight Title. But after that, no more singles titles (laughs). At least until we become a national company, which isn’t even a thought at this juncture.
StrB!TCH: OKAY, THAT’S OUR SHOW! I wanna thank RA Palazzo and Duke Mackey for stopping by, and remember to check out the ALL-NEW NLW shop! We’ve got a ton of merchandise already available including…(someone throws her a t-shirt from off-camera)…THIS ONE!
(She unrolls the white muscle tee to reveal a picture of herself holding a strawberry above her lips, looking sideways provocatively. The shirt reads, “I wanna eat Strawberry”)
(HUGE CHEERS!)
StrB!TCH: (laughs) I’m Strawberry B!TCH! ‘Til next time, NLW! PEACE OUT!
(CUEUP: “Thief’s Theme” by Nas)
(PAN-OUT from the crowd, roll credits)
(FADEOUT)
Copyright: 2010 ESEN/All rights reserved
(FADEIN: Fans crowded around a restaurant bar area, drinks in hand, cheering and yelling in front of the camera. Some are sticking their fingers out, “#1!” Others are pulling on their NLW t-shirts and pointing to their hats of various NY/NJ sports teams. The NLW logo appears on screen next to graphic text that says, “After Hours w/Strawberry B!TCH” The camera then fades to the main stage, front of the bar, where STRAWBERRY B!TCH is standing with a microphone. The busty redhead is wearing a black mini-skirt, matching knee-high black boots, and a white button-down short sleeve with enough buttons undone to reveal her 36DD implant job. Damn!)
StrB!TCH: Welcome to NLW After Hours, coming to you LIVE from the brand new ESEN bar and grill in MANHATTAN! (cheers!) I’m your host, Strawberry, and tonight we’re bringing you a hot 15 minutes of backstage info, interviews, and anything else we can cram in.
(Camera zooms out slightly to reveal NLW President/Owner RA PALAZZO standing next to her in expensive denim jeans and a tight black polo. He’s also holding a microphone. Next to RA is ‘DANGEROUS’ DUKE MACKEY, looking PISSED with a huge black and blue mouse under his eyes, and bruises along the side of his face)
StrB!TCH: Right now, we have a couple of special guests in the studio. Please welcome NLW Owner RA Palazzo…
(CHEERS! Crowd begins to chants, “R-A! R-A! R-A!”)
StrB!TCH: …and NLW wrestler, and part time Scores nightclub attendant, ‘DANGEROUS’ Duke Mackey! (More cheers!) So let’s get down to it guys. A LOT happened tonight at Vulgar, and people are wondering how it’s all gonna impact the pay-per-view. First and foremost, can you tell us…what THE HELL is up with Carlos Canyeta, and what the fallout from tonight is?
PALAZZO: (clears throat) Sure. Basically, when I started NLW, we had a rule about who would be put on the payroll and whatnot. What happens is, a lot of these independents start up with limited budgets, as is the case with us, and they overpay big industry stars to come and work for them thinking it’s going to drive ticket sales and they’ll profit. What ACTUALLY winds up happening, is ticket sales see a moderate, temporary spike, and long-term profits aren’t enough to keep the ship going. They spend all their money on these big stars, and meanwhile the young guys who are there for the long haul and are the ones who your company should be built on, there’s not enough money to keep them around. Our goal was to build a roster of young, up and coming athletes, and if a deal came around that made financial sense for us in terms of bringing in a ‘name’ athlete, we’d consider it. Perfect example: Impulse gave us the hometown discount.
StrB!TCH: And that wasn’t the case for Canyeta?
PALAZZO: Well here’s the thing- Canyeta isn’t on our payroll. And man, I really, REALLY didn’t wanna go into this, because I hate giving this guy any more free publicity than he deserves, but it’s gotten to the point where I have to address it. Anyway, his little buddy there, Arcangel IV, that’s the guy I signed to a contract. He asked if we would consider bringing in Canyeta, who once upon a time was a big star but fell totally off the map. And I said yeah, I’ll talk to him. Fast forward, past our meetings…and this guy’s asking for f*cking money like it’s still 1998! Not only THAT…but he wants a guaranteed title shot.
StrB!TCH: Ouch.
PALAZZO: Right? This guy’s out of his f*cking mind. Then he ambushes our television tapings to accuse me of being a RACIST, which anyone who knows me knows what load of BULLSH*T that is. Arcangel’s been refusing to wrestle until we sign Canyeta to the contract he’s demanding, so I tried firing him. Problem is, he got his lawyers involved, and to be quite honest, with all the legal fees, I just don’t have that kind of money right now. Not while we’re trying to get this thing off the ground. So we just stopped booking him altogether and were hoping the two of them would just go away.
StrB!TCH: Lemme stop you right there, RA. Now, you know I love ya, babe, but you saw what the two of them did tonight. I was there and saw them attack Duke, and they even threatened me! No joke guys (looks at audience), I was scared…like, scared as hell! But there’s gotta be something you can do, ‘cause we can’t just have them beating people up every show. They even beat up Zesty later on in the show!
PALAZZO: OK, here’s the scenario. In light of what happened, I contacted Arcangel’s management and said, “Look, this can’t happen anymore. If they keep showing up, I’m gonna have to hire more and more security, and the situation’s gonna get uglier. This doesn’t get them through the doors any quicker, and it doesn’t make my life any easier.” So I proposed that we set up a match at the pay-per-view. Arcangel IV gets in the ring with this man, Duke Mackey, and we make it a lumberjack match. (CHEERS!) The stipulation is going to be that if Mackey wins, Arcangel stays with us for the duration of his contract, but agrees to stay away from the building, Canyeta too. If Arcangel wins, not only will I let him back into the building, but I’ll allow Canyeta to appear in taped segments. (BOOS!) And he can state his case to the NLW fans, why he’s too chicken sh*t to come in here on a standard contract and fight the best new talent in the world.
(Fans begin to cheer; DUKE MACKEY takes the microphone from RA)
MACKEY: Y’know, I just wanna say one thing. And Carlos Canyeta, I HOPE YOU’RE WATCHING THIS, BRO! Because WHAT YOU DID TONIGHT…attacking me two on one, like a P*SSY, it doesn’t take guts. But if you wanna prove you’re a man, you wanna prove you’ve got the balls to hang with OUR lockerroom, then your buddy Arcangel’s gonna meet me in Hartford, at Eye for an Eye. And bro, it ain’t gonna be like it was in the street tonight. I’m gonna have all my boys surrounding the ring, keeping YOU OUT, and keeping your girlfriend IN. There’s not gonna be a quick victory, I’m gonna TAKE MY TIME with him. Make sure he leaves with a hospital bill bigger than the one he left me, and beat him so badly he wouldn’t come back if RA invited him through the FRONT F*CKING DOOR!
StrB!TCH: Don’t let ‘em get to you Duke, I saw-(interruption)
MACKEY: No Strawberry, they got to me…THEY GOT TO ME! And man, I want you so f*cking bad, Arcangel, I CAN’T WAIT! It’s not a brown thing, or a white thing, it’s a black and blue thing…(crowd cheers!)…because that’s what color YOU’RE GONNA BE when we get to Hartford, bro. You just wait…you just f*ckin’ WAIT!
PALAZZO: (looking at Strawberry) He’s fired up. He’s pissed, and I don’t blame him- I’m pissed too. But I’m fully confident, all debts are gonna be settled at Eye for an Eye.
StrB!TCH: Speaking of Eye for an Eye, we now know it’s going to be Zesty Mordant versus Vic Gravender in a number one contender’s match. Bobby Jack Windham cost Eddie Patton his shot to get in on that, and also challenged him to a steel cage match in Hartford. Is that match going to happen at the pay-per-view as well?
PALAZZO: We weren’t sure what was going on with that, but I talked to Eddie at the end of the night, and he accepted the match. (BIG CHEERS!) You know, they’re both 1-1 against each other- Eddie thought all scores were settled at the Grand Prix, but obviously Bobby Jack felt differently. But at Eye for an Eye, in a 20 foot steel cage, the score will FINALLY be settled, and hopefully both men can move on after that.
StrB!TCH: Cool. Any word on upcoming shows, pay-per-views, special events…?
PALAZZO: Yes, we’re already in talks to broadcast another pay-per-view on DirecTV from the Izod Center in New Jersey. What’ll happen is, we’ll do four more Vulgars after Eye for an Eye, and hopefully get that next big event on PPV sometime in the fall. I’m thinking October, November at the latest.
StrB!TCH: And for all the fans inquiring about Eye for an Eye, tickets are still on sale, and that event will be on Saturday, August 7th, from the XL Center in Hartford, Connecticut. RA, we’re all pretty concerned for Impulse. How is he holding up, and will he be 100% for his match with Magnus?
PALAZZO: I can’t say he’s gonna be 100%. Probably not, given the severity of his injury. Honestly, I’m surprised he’s even going to wrestle, and I told him, personally, that he shouldn’t. I was gonna re-book it as a threeway dance, between Magnus, Zesty, and Vic Gravender, given tonight’s results. But Impulse swears he’s good to go, and I believe him. Sort of (laughs). That’s a tough injury to come back from.
(Smarky fan yells out: “YOUR BROTHER DID IT!”)
StrB!TCH: We have a minute left, so real quick: is there another championship title in the works?
PALAZZO: (smiles) There is, but it’s a little ways off. We’re still naming it, and I can tell you the path to winning it will be different from what we did with the Open Weight Title. But after that, no more singles titles (laughs). At least until we become a national company, which isn’t even a thought at this juncture.
StrB!TCH: OKAY, THAT’S OUR SHOW! I wanna thank RA Palazzo and Duke Mackey for stopping by, and remember to check out the ALL-NEW NLW shop! We’ve got a ton of merchandise already available including…(someone throws her a t-shirt from off-camera)…THIS ONE!
(She unrolls the white muscle tee to reveal a picture of herself holding a strawberry above her lips, looking sideways provocatively. The shirt reads, “I wanna eat Strawberry”)
(HUGE CHEERS!)
StrB!TCH: (laughs) I’m Strawberry B!TCH! ‘Til next time, NLW! PEACE OUT!
(CUEUP: “Thief’s Theme” by Nas)
(PAN-OUT from the crowd, roll credits)
(FADEOUT)
Copyright: 2010 ESEN/All rights reserved
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