AGGRESSION 45: The First vs. Shawn Hart
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The Great Eye
I came to cut you up
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(FADEIN: The First looking at the camera. His face is painted white with a black X through the eyes and cheekbones and a final black stripe going down the middle of his face from forehead to chin. He's wearing his brand new T-Shirt that reads "Painted Up Freak" and black gi pants. Behind him is the little girl, now playing with a dollhouse. Princess Sparkle Pony is near the girl with a little black veil covering her plush doll face.)
FIRST: Had to try to do it again...Isn't it always the way Shawn? I mean, we could have let Anthology have their fight with The World Champion and little old me, best team wins and all that but no...No you had to go and try to ruin everything for me yet again...Thankfully somehow your efforts backfired and instead of the glorious victory you tried to bring to Anthology...The first blow against them in EPW was truly struck...But so many more must be landed, so much more must done...
And you, you're the one who's got to pay for this. If I have to beat you all, and then line you all back up and beat you all again and again...AND AGAIN...I'll do it...Whatever it takes to crush Anthology...This is what must be done...
However foolish my quest may be...No matter how much it may delay me from my goal of winning the EPW World Heavyweight Championship...I know what I must do...Anthology must fall...
And I shall destroy it...That is what shall come to pass...For now I believe...For now my eyes are open...For now I have hope...And my hope fills me with a purpose...It motivates me to do what may be impossible...And yet I shall do it anyhow...
Now then, I've got to attend to far more important matters...Princess Sparkle Pony is in a bit of a depression with the death of her boyfriend...And we're trying to get her out of it with a fun time playing house.
Pax Vobiscum
(FADEOUT)
FIRST: Had to try to do it again...Isn't it always the way Shawn? I mean, we could have let Anthology have their fight with The World Champion and little old me, best team wins and all that but no...No you had to go and try to ruin everything for me yet again...Thankfully somehow your efforts backfired and instead of the glorious victory you tried to bring to Anthology...The first blow against them in EPW was truly struck...But so many more must be landed, so much more must done...
And you, you're the one who's got to pay for this. If I have to beat you all, and then line you all back up and beat you all again and again...AND AGAIN...I'll do it...Whatever it takes to crush Anthology...This is what must be done...
However foolish my quest may be...No matter how much it may delay me from my goal of winning the EPW World Heavyweight Championship...I know what I must do...Anthology must fall...
And I shall destroy it...That is what shall come to pass...For now I believe...For now my eyes are open...For now I have hope...And my hope fills me with a purpose...It motivates me to do what may be impossible...And yet I shall do it anyhow...
Now then, I've got to attend to far more important matters...Princess Sparkle Pony is in a bit of a depression with the death of her boyfriend...And we're trying to get her out of it with a fun time playing house.
Pax Vobiscum
(FADEOUT)
ShawnHartXXX
The Phenom
Viva La Vivi!
FADE IN:
Lake Cunningham, CA - 8 P.M.
Standing at the podium and overlooking a plethora of grief-stricken mourners is LoC Champion SHAWN JESSICA HART, PhD. It's the Viva la Vivi Candlelight Vigil, and dozens have gathered on the shores of Lake Cunningham to pay their respects.
So, with a heavy heart, Muff Daddy adjusts the microphone, lowers his head, and speaks to his fellow grievers.
SJH: "We're here to honor a woman..."
Gulp.
SJH: "We're HERE.... to HONOR a woman.... who touched the lives of all she encountered."
Again, SJH pauses.
SJH: "Though her time with us was far too short, her impact on all of us will be felt forevermore..."
JON KATZ JR. steps out of the crowd, pointing at his groin.
JKJ: "YO... I gots da rashes on my asses to prove it, dawg!"
The mourners let out a collective chuckle. SJH can't help but smile at his friend.
SJH: "Heh, like habanero hot sauce, it was IMPOSSIBLE to taste the Vivi without feeling the burn. When you... spent time.... with her, she always left you with the lagniappe... a little something extra!"
Katz nods his head in agreement.
SJH: "But now, she's gone... NO LONGER will we see her wandering these banks on spring break; topless and drenched in ambergris. Heh, what was it she used to say to the boys? "You come outhouse. I meet inside. Make sexy time with hand, baby."
Hart looks up to the skies, pointing to them as he fights back the tears.
SJH: "Well Vivi, I think its safe to say that there will be a LOT more sexy time up in Heaven! We will remember you for your words, your computer hacking skills, and your eternal search for the one that would become your baby tommy. But in our hearts, we know you live on!"
The crowd cheers. Hart nods approvingly.
SJH: "This week at Aggression, I've been challenged by the First..."
Again he looks to the heavens.
SJH: "And Vivi.... I'm winning it for YOU!!!"
YES!!
SJH: "The Phenom has left the building!"
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
Lake Cunningham, CA - 8 P.M.
Standing at the podium and overlooking a plethora of grief-stricken mourners is LoC Champion SHAWN JESSICA HART, PhD. It's the Viva la Vivi Candlelight Vigil, and dozens have gathered on the shores of Lake Cunningham to pay their respects.
So, with a heavy heart, Muff Daddy adjusts the microphone, lowers his head, and speaks to his fellow grievers.
SJH: "We're here to honor a woman..."
Gulp.
SJH: "We're HERE.... to HONOR a woman.... who touched the lives of all she encountered."
Again, SJH pauses.
SJH: "Though her time with us was far too short, her impact on all of us will be felt forevermore..."
JON KATZ JR. steps out of the crowd, pointing at his groin.
JKJ: "YO... I gots da rashes on my asses to prove it, dawg!"
The mourners let out a collective chuckle. SJH can't help but smile at his friend.
SJH: "Heh, like habanero hot sauce, it was IMPOSSIBLE to taste the Vivi without feeling the burn. When you... spent time.... with her, she always left you with the lagniappe... a little something extra!"
Katz nods his head in agreement.
SJH: "But now, she's gone... NO LONGER will we see her wandering these banks on spring break; topless and drenched in ambergris. Heh, what was it she used to say to the boys? "You come outhouse. I meet inside. Make sexy time with hand, baby."
Hart looks up to the skies, pointing to them as he fights back the tears.
SJH: "Well Vivi, I think its safe to say that there will be a LOT more sexy time up in Heaven! We will remember you for your words, your computer hacking skills, and your eternal search for the one that would become your baby tommy. But in our hearts, we know you live on!"
The crowd cheers. Hart nods approvingly.
SJH: "This week at Aggression, I've been challenged by the First..."
Again he looks to the heavens.
SJH: "And Vivi.... I'm winning it for YOU!!!"
YES!!
SJH: "The Phenom has left the building!"
FADE OUT.
The Great Eye
I came to cut you up
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2004
- Messages
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(FADEIN: The First sitting Indian style in front of a doll house where the little girl is currently playing with some tiny dolls. First is still wearing the same face paint and get up as last time.)
FIRST: We all make choices...I've made mine...It seems to have been in error...I followed the path...It was a mistake...
Copycat interfered, so I went after him...It led to the greatest victory against Anthology in it's history...Finally a true rebuke of them...The first time they entered into a main event...And were repelled...Driven back into the shadows where they belong...Such was the nature of that match, that battle...But they regrouped and returned...A 6 man tag now...
And I see it and I fear for EPW...Stevens...Stevens is most likely bored by Cruise, bored by Anthology...Mercurial in nature he is...But I'd have expected more from Westscott, more from Ice Tre..From my hand they took the baton to fight Anthology, from my hand they took up the cause to protect EPW from this plague of wrestlers banding together out of fear and cowardice...
And they are failing...Their silence is deafening...What happens if Anthology rips through the three of them...What if Champion and #1 Contender are run out of the ring by Anthology? What happens then...Lindsay Troy's hand may be forced...Cameron Cruise would get to do what he claimed was his ambition all along, to put himself into the main event of the next PPV...Who could say otherwise...What with his leading Anthology to such a crushing victory...
I have been side tracked, sent away, diverted from the true battle by Shawn Hart...A man who makes light of all things, who tells jokes and entertains...Who kills with kindness...Like many of the huckster poker players I see on TV who know a winning smile and a glib personality lead to endorsement deals away from the poker table and to an easier life at it...Who doesn't want to chat with Daniel Negreanu and pretend like they are pals while he picks their pocket...That is Shawn Hart...The lying smile, the false embrace...This time...He's done ever better then that...
Just by meddling in the main event, even failing in that attempt, he's done what was needed, dragged away the one man who truly seeks to end Anthology...Away from that objective.
So Shawn, while you talk of women, of love, of loss, you play me as a fool, for you already have played me...Already I have done all you wanted, I'm out of the way of the main strike, the real plan...Win or lose, you can report back to Cruise that the mission was a success, that he, Wells, and Edmunds have nothing but smooth sailing in front of them as they seek to atone for last week's loss, and to truly make a name for themselves...
Anthology's grip upon EPW tightens...Like a python wrapping itself around it's prey...I say all these things, lament this plight, yet here I am, playing dollhouse, I'm not doing anything true, anything real to stop Anthology...I'm just going in, fighting my match, leaving...I expect the big picture to somehow change from these little actions...
CHILD: Everything effects the big picture, nothing is without meaning...You know nothing of the future...Your victory over Shawn Hart could be the downfall of Anthology...You have no idea what one event can do in the scheme of the universe...
FIRST: To think such a thing, that defeating Shawn Hart matters truly in the grand scheme of things is madness...It is trusting to hope...
CHILD: Hope will destroy Anthology...You said it yourself...There is no hope in them...They all exist not to rock the boat, not to aspire, not to seek more...They are dead to the world...Hope is beyond them...Cruise is craven, weak, a leader due to circumstance rather then design, he curses the crown upon his head more then Sean Stevens enjoys the one he wears...But even in his weakness he is a menace...Even the most timid of souls can be spurred to action...Yes, his possible victory is bad for everyone involved...But it isn't the end of this story...
FIRST: So how does it all play out, she who entertains herself with dolls?
CHILD: That's the joy of all, living through the events, what fun would it be if everything was known? And what's wrong with playing with dolls?
FIRST: Oh nothing I guess...So tell me about this little family here.
[The child starts explaining in great detail the life and times of the doll family, the camera pans back.]
(FADEOUT)
FIRST: We all make choices...I've made mine...It seems to have been in error...I followed the path...It was a mistake...
Copycat interfered, so I went after him...It led to the greatest victory against Anthology in it's history...Finally a true rebuke of them...The first time they entered into a main event...And were repelled...Driven back into the shadows where they belong...Such was the nature of that match, that battle...But they regrouped and returned...A 6 man tag now...
And I see it and I fear for EPW...Stevens...Stevens is most likely bored by Cruise, bored by Anthology...Mercurial in nature he is...But I'd have expected more from Westscott, more from Ice Tre..From my hand they took the baton to fight Anthology, from my hand they took up the cause to protect EPW from this plague of wrestlers banding together out of fear and cowardice...
And they are failing...Their silence is deafening...What happens if Anthology rips through the three of them...What if Champion and #1 Contender are run out of the ring by Anthology? What happens then...Lindsay Troy's hand may be forced...Cameron Cruise would get to do what he claimed was his ambition all along, to put himself into the main event of the next PPV...Who could say otherwise...What with his leading Anthology to such a crushing victory...
I have been side tracked, sent away, diverted from the true battle by Shawn Hart...A man who makes light of all things, who tells jokes and entertains...Who kills with kindness...Like many of the huckster poker players I see on TV who know a winning smile and a glib personality lead to endorsement deals away from the poker table and to an easier life at it...Who doesn't want to chat with Daniel Negreanu and pretend like they are pals while he picks their pocket...That is Shawn Hart...The lying smile, the false embrace...This time...He's done ever better then that...
Just by meddling in the main event, even failing in that attempt, he's done what was needed, dragged away the one man who truly seeks to end Anthology...Away from that objective.
So Shawn, while you talk of women, of love, of loss, you play me as a fool, for you already have played me...Already I have done all you wanted, I'm out of the way of the main strike, the real plan...Win or lose, you can report back to Cruise that the mission was a success, that he, Wells, and Edmunds have nothing but smooth sailing in front of them as they seek to atone for last week's loss, and to truly make a name for themselves...
Anthology's grip upon EPW tightens...Like a python wrapping itself around it's prey...I say all these things, lament this plight, yet here I am, playing dollhouse, I'm not doing anything true, anything real to stop Anthology...I'm just going in, fighting my match, leaving...I expect the big picture to somehow change from these little actions...
CHILD: Everything effects the big picture, nothing is without meaning...You know nothing of the future...Your victory over Shawn Hart could be the downfall of Anthology...You have no idea what one event can do in the scheme of the universe...
FIRST: To think such a thing, that defeating Shawn Hart matters truly in the grand scheme of things is madness...It is trusting to hope...
CHILD: Hope will destroy Anthology...You said it yourself...There is no hope in them...They all exist not to rock the boat, not to aspire, not to seek more...They are dead to the world...Hope is beyond them...Cruise is craven, weak, a leader due to circumstance rather then design, he curses the crown upon his head more then Sean Stevens enjoys the one he wears...But even in his weakness he is a menace...Even the most timid of souls can be spurred to action...Yes, his possible victory is bad for everyone involved...But it isn't the end of this story...
FIRST: So how does it all play out, she who entertains herself with dolls?
CHILD: That's the joy of all, living through the events, what fun would it be if everything was known? And what's wrong with playing with dolls?
FIRST: Oh nothing I guess...So tell me about this little family here.
[The child starts explaining in great detail the life and times of the doll family, the camera pans back.]
(FADEOUT)
ShawnHartXXX
The Phenom
Rebuttal: Hart Style
FADE IN:
A backdrop - Some time.
LoC Champion SHAWN JESSICA HART, PhD. is interacting with his environment in a way that promotes laughter and provokes thought. After doing or saying something particularly clever, he takes a step forward, looks into the camera, and breaks into spontaneous promo.
SJH: "Heh...HAH!! And might I add HAAAAAAH!!!"
He waggles his finger in a manner most admonishing, a la Dikembe Mutombo.
SJH: "Y'know, for a guy called the FIRST, you're probably the LAST guy around here one would expect to have a GODD(FCC)MN clue what's going on, nnnnnnnndaddio!!!"
He laughs to himself.
SJH: "Here you are, hollerin' to the Heavens about the misfortune that's beset you in your quest to BANISH Anthology and dispense henceforth with their BASTARD antics. Going so far as to claim that you've been detoured to some sick side-road where yours truly lies in wait, a cleverly-devised distraction designed to keep you from debunking the Dangle Brothers of the world!"
Hart raises his left eye brow suspiciously.
SJH: "I can't help but wonder... is this REALLY what you think?! Do you HONESTLY believe that you've been sent here like some kind of Messiah to right the wrestling world's wrongs and win back the masses that have UNDOUBTEDLY fled in an attempt to save themselves from the utter perversion that me and my comrades disperse?! MOREOVER... are you SERIOUSLY soooooooooooo out of touch with reality as to think that me, the MUFF DADDY, the Prime Minister of GETTIN' SINISTER, is nothin' more than a side-show act, set in your path to keep you busy while the BIG BOYS roam free?!"
He grits his teeth in an effort to stave off the rage that builds within him.
SJH: "Well LISTEN here, you SNOT-NOSED son of a B(FCC)TCH!! You may THINK you have some greater purpose in this sport... that you're the shining beacon of all that is bold and beautiful in Empire Pro Wrestling, but in the end... all you'll be is another name on a long list of poor unfortunate souls who were STUPID enough to get caught in the tracks of the freight train Anthology!!"
He cracks an impish grin.
SJH: "And as for ol' SJH being nothing more than some kind of second-rate diversionary tactic.... heh.... all I've got to say is that if you think that's the case, you're delusional to the point of hopelessness, bro. Cuz IN CASE you've been stuck under a rock for the last TEN YEARS, you're talkin' to Shawn Hart, the HEAVYWEIGHT CHAAAAAAAMPIIIIIOOOOOOON OF THE UNIVERSE!! And despite the recent miscues with my Antho-mates... n' REGARDLESS of the fact that I served as opening act on the last pay-per-view, the cold, hard fact remains that SJH is the HOTTEST thing to hit this dirtball since Global Warming!!
I don't give a ding-dong-DAMN where I'm booked on the card or whether or not the powers that THINK they be refuse to recognize my numerous titles. I AM, WAS, and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalways WILL BE the BADDEST mo fo EVER to grace a wrestling ring! Call it an outrage, call it a MOCKERY, my Magic 8-ball says it's the TRUTH!! And the truth of the matter is that while you sit there on your high horse talkin' about DISTRACTIONS, the only thing you've been DISTRACTED from is the fact that I'M the MAIN ATTRACTION here!!
NOT Wells, NOT Tact...
Not Cameron Cruise, not the new guys and CERTAINLY not YOU!!"
Hart licks his lips.
SJH: "So my advice to you, FRIEND, would be to get smart to the situation with which you're faced... and get there REEEEEEEEEEEAL quick.
Because if you don't, you're gonna get yourself KILLED!!
The PHENOM has left the building!!"
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
A backdrop - Some time.
LoC Champion SHAWN JESSICA HART, PhD. is interacting with his environment in a way that promotes laughter and provokes thought. After doing or saying something particularly clever, he takes a step forward, looks into the camera, and breaks into spontaneous promo.
SJH: "Heh...HAH!! And might I add HAAAAAAH!!!"
He waggles his finger in a manner most admonishing, a la Dikembe Mutombo.
SJH: "Y'know, for a guy called the FIRST, you're probably the LAST guy around here one would expect to have a GODD(FCC)MN clue what's going on, nnnnnnnndaddio!!!"
He laughs to himself.
SJH: "Here you are, hollerin' to the Heavens about the misfortune that's beset you in your quest to BANISH Anthology and dispense henceforth with their BASTARD antics. Going so far as to claim that you've been detoured to some sick side-road where yours truly lies in wait, a cleverly-devised distraction designed to keep you from debunking the Dangle Brothers of the world!"
Hart raises his left eye brow suspiciously.
SJH: "I can't help but wonder... is this REALLY what you think?! Do you HONESTLY believe that you've been sent here like some kind of Messiah to right the wrestling world's wrongs and win back the masses that have UNDOUBTEDLY fled in an attempt to save themselves from the utter perversion that me and my comrades disperse?! MOREOVER... are you SERIOUSLY soooooooooooo out of touch with reality as to think that me, the MUFF DADDY, the Prime Minister of GETTIN' SINISTER, is nothin' more than a side-show act, set in your path to keep you busy while the BIG BOYS roam free?!"
He grits his teeth in an effort to stave off the rage that builds within him.
SJH: "Well LISTEN here, you SNOT-NOSED son of a B(FCC)TCH!! You may THINK you have some greater purpose in this sport... that you're the shining beacon of all that is bold and beautiful in Empire Pro Wrestling, but in the end... all you'll be is another name on a long list of poor unfortunate souls who were STUPID enough to get caught in the tracks of the freight train Anthology!!"
He cracks an impish grin.
SJH: "And as for ol' SJH being nothing more than some kind of second-rate diversionary tactic.... heh.... all I've got to say is that if you think that's the case, you're delusional to the point of hopelessness, bro. Cuz IN CASE you've been stuck under a rock for the last TEN YEARS, you're talkin' to Shawn Hart, the HEAVYWEIGHT CHAAAAAAAMPIIIIIOOOOOOON OF THE UNIVERSE!! And despite the recent miscues with my Antho-mates... n' REGARDLESS of the fact that I served as opening act on the last pay-per-view, the cold, hard fact remains that SJH is the HOTTEST thing to hit this dirtball since Global Warming!!
I don't give a ding-dong-DAMN where I'm booked on the card or whether or not the powers that THINK they be refuse to recognize my numerous titles. I AM, WAS, and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalways WILL BE the BADDEST mo fo EVER to grace a wrestling ring! Call it an outrage, call it a MOCKERY, my Magic 8-ball says it's the TRUTH!! And the truth of the matter is that while you sit there on your high horse talkin' about DISTRACTIONS, the only thing you've been DISTRACTED from is the fact that I'M the MAIN ATTRACTION here!!
NOT Wells, NOT Tact...
Not Cameron Cruise, not the new guys and CERTAINLY not YOU!!"
Hart licks his lips.
SJH: "So my advice to you, FRIEND, would be to get smart to the situation with which you're faced... and get there REEEEEEEEEEEAL quick.
Because if you don't, you're gonna get yourself KILLED!!
The PHENOM has left the building!!"
FADE OUT.
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