AGGRESSION 50: Fusenshoff vs. Karl "The Dragon" Brown
- Thread starter DBrunkGXW
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EpyonMarx
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[FADE IN. It’s a simple, clean hotel-room. By the foot of the bed is a small gym bag, but other than that the room is unremarkable except for the man standing looking out of the window, his arms on the desk. He’s in stone-washed jeans and a grey T-shirt, and as we PAN ROUND and ZOOM CLOSER, we see it’s “The Dragon” watching the world go by]
Karl: It’s always amazed me how time and distance can affect perception. The last time I was over here was just after a match for TEAM, not long after I lost the Empire Pro Intercontinental Championship. I had a lot on my mind, but I remember back then the weather was pretty cold but it seemed… pleasant. The people I remember were pleasant, polite, and left me alone after the initial rush for autographs those of us who make it to TV usually experience at some point. I knew back then I was leaving wrestling but everything seemed… right.
Or at least that’s how I remember it now. It could be the reality was different. Maybe the fans kept pestering me, or maybe I was in a foul mood. It could be the weather was foul and I’ve just coloured it in reminiscence. Nostalgia, whether for the recent past or something decades earlier, generally makes things seem better than they were; I very much doubt life was better in the nineteen eighties, for example, but I was a lot younger then and life seemed that much quieter and more peaceful.
Nostalgia… it’s confusing, and it can give you expectations that have every chance of being dashed when reality hits you.
[He turns from the window, pressing his back against the wall]
Karl: That’s what I’m going to have to guard against stepping back into the ring after so long. I know it’s been a long time since I was in front of an Empire Pro crowd, and chances are things hurt a lot more than I remember them. More importantly, though, is people might have expectations of me that are based on how they remember me, rather than what I was or who I am now. As long as Lindsay and I held belts, I’ve been out of action even longer. When I left I’d been hitting the gym most days for… ten years or more? With my school rugby career, martial arts, then the wrestling training, it took trips to the hospital to stop me working out, and that stopped pretty soon after I left the ring. Sure I’m in good shape, great compared to most people, but can my body still handle the type of matches I used to have?
That’s actually what stopped me challenging Fusenhoff several months ago. I started thinking, I’ve got to get in the ring with this guy, see what he’s all about, but it kept striking me that I wasn’t in the same shape I had been. I’m still active in martial arts but that’s not the same as being in ring shape, having conditioning for getting slammed around. I could’ve come back any time, I’m sure, but I would’ve been a disappointment – for Fusenhoff, for the fans who remember some of the matches I had with Adam or Cameron or Foxx, and I’ve been a disappointment to myself. An embarrassment to myself. This image people have of “The Dragon” – the guy who nearly beat Christian Sands in the quarter finals of the World Title tournament; the guy who took everything JA could throw at him to win the IC title; the guy who was only the second person in Empire Pro that Lindsay Troy couldn’t beat – it’s a lot to live up to, and I wanted to be sure that I still could. Very, very sure. Hell, I’m not even totally sure I’m back to my peak physical condition now, this close to Aggression.
But I’m as close to it as I’m ever going to be without being in the ring again. And now… feels like the right time to find out just what the fuss about Fusenhoff really is.
Am I the same Dragon you saw in two thousand seven? No. Are you the same person you were two, three years ago? In that time you’ve probably all done what I did – met people who’ve made you think about your life, your views, your priorities. You might’ve switched careers like I did, learnt or developed talents and skills, or simply gotten wiser with the years. Someone you met for the first time two years ago, who you saw only the once – if you were to bump into them today, you’d probably think of them as you did back then. It’s not as bad as bumping into an old school friend, but the person you thought was so cool has done what you’ve done. Changed with time. And they’re not going to be the same.
Where’m I going with this? I bet Neels is curled up in a ball as or if he watches this. Well, the point I’m making is simple.
Things change. People change. Nostalgia can give you a great feeling, but in the end it’s deceptive. I want to make sure that Fusenhoff, and the fans, keep that in mind.
That said, I hope he doesn’t think it’s going to be easy. If going back into radio was any indication, it won’t take very long at all for me to shake off any residual dust, and once that bell rings you’ll probably find that the focus and dedication are just the same. People do change, but some things don’t, and throughout my life I have always… always… pushed myself, and found a way to push through my limits when I need to. Someone like Fusenhoff, I’m going to be tested, I’m going to be challenged, and I’m going to have to push through a lot of limits.
I’m not the same Dragon from two thousand and seven. I’m not going to be falling back into the same exact slot I was in when Sergeant pinned me to win the title. As far as I’m concerned, this is a new chapter for me in Empire Pro Wrestling. The first one started against Mike Diamond, and this one starts with Fusenhoff.
Whether it starts with a win or a loss, I can say this.
[He turns, walking past the camera. We PAN ROUND to see him picking up his gym bag, presumably to head to a workout]
Karl: It’s good to be back.
[FADE OUT]
Karl: It’s always amazed me how time and distance can affect perception. The last time I was over here was just after a match for TEAM, not long after I lost the Empire Pro Intercontinental Championship. I had a lot on my mind, but I remember back then the weather was pretty cold but it seemed… pleasant. The people I remember were pleasant, polite, and left me alone after the initial rush for autographs those of us who make it to TV usually experience at some point. I knew back then I was leaving wrestling but everything seemed… right.
Or at least that’s how I remember it now. It could be the reality was different. Maybe the fans kept pestering me, or maybe I was in a foul mood. It could be the weather was foul and I’ve just coloured it in reminiscence. Nostalgia, whether for the recent past or something decades earlier, generally makes things seem better than they were; I very much doubt life was better in the nineteen eighties, for example, but I was a lot younger then and life seemed that much quieter and more peaceful.
Nostalgia… it’s confusing, and it can give you expectations that have every chance of being dashed when reality hits you.
[He turns from the window, pressing his back against the wall]
Karl: That’s what I’m going to have to guard against stepping back into the ring after so long. I know it’s been a long time since I was in front of an Empire Pro crowd, and chances are things hurt a lot more than I remember them. More importantly, though, is people might have expectations of me that are based on how they remember me, rather than what I was or who I am now. As long as Lindsay and I held belts, I’ve been out of action even longer. When I left I’d been hitting the gym most days for… ten years or more? With my school rugby career, martial arts, then the wrestling training, it took trips to the hospital to stop me working out, and that stopped pretty soon after I left the ring. Sure I’m in good shape, great compared to most people, but can my body still handle the type of matches I used to have?
That’s actually what stopped me challenging Fusenhoff several months ago. I started thinking, I’ve got to get in the ring with this guy, see what he’s all about, but it kept striking me that I wasn’t in the same shape I had been. I’m still active in martial arts but that’s not the same as being in ring shape, having conditioning for getting slammed around. I could’ve come back any time, I’m sure, but I would’ve been a disappointment – for Fusenhoff, for the fans who remember some of the matches I had with Adam or Cameron or Foxx, and I’ve been a disappointment to myself. An embarrassment to myself. This image people have of “The Dragon” – the guy who nearly beat Christian Sands in the quarter finals of the World Title tournament; the guy who took everything JA could throw at him to win the IC title; the guy who was only the second person in Empire Pro that Lindsay Troy couldn’t beat – it’s a lot to live up to, and I wanted to be sure that I still could. Very, very sure. Hell, I’m not even totally sure I’m back to my peak physical condition now, this close to Aggression.
But I’m as close to it as I’m ever going to be without being in the ring again. And now… feels like the right time to find out just what the fuss about Fusenhoff really is.
Am I the same Dragon you saw in two thousand seven? No. Are you the same person you were two, three years ago? In that time you’ve probably all done what I did – met people who’ve made you think about your life, your views, your priorities. You might’ve switched careers like I did, learnt or developed talents and skills, or simply gotten wiser with the years. Someone you met for the first time two years ago, who you saw only the once – if you were to bump into them today, you’d probably think of them as you did back then. It’s not as bad as bumping into an old school friend, but the person you thought was so cool has done what you’ve done. Changed with time. And they’re not going to be the same.
Where’m I going with this? I bet Neels is curled up in a ball as or if he watches this. Well, the point I’m making is simple.
Things change. People change. Nostalgia can give you a great feeling, but in the end it’s deceptive. I want to make sure that Fusenhoff, and the fans, keep that in mind.
That said, I hope he doesn’t think it’s going to be easy. If going back into radio was any indication, it won’t take very long at all for me to shake off any residual dust, and once that bell rings you’ll probably find that the focus and dedication are just the same. People do change, but some things don’t, and throughout my life I have always… always… pushed myself, and found a way to push through my limits when I need to. Someone like Fusenhoff, I’m going to be tested, I’m going to be challenged, and I’m going to have to push through a lot of limits.
I’m not the same Dragon from two thousand and seven. I’m not going to be falling back into the same exact slot I was in when Sergeant pinned me to win the title. As far as I’m concerned, this is a new chapter for me in Empire Pro Wrestling. The first one started against Mike Diamond, and this one starts with Fusenhoff.
Whether it starts with a win or a loss, I can say this.
[He turns, walking past the camera. We PAN ROUND to see him picking up his gym bag, presumably to head to a workout]
Karl: It’s good to be back.
[FADE OUT]
Fusenshoff
League Member
Fade in to Fusenshoff. Sitting in front of an EPW backdrop, the casual fan may not notice the subtle changes in his appearance. He looks like he’s been shaving more often lately, as the only five o’clock he’s seen recently is what he was drinking last night. It seems he’s had a haircut or two, professional haircuts, in the last six months. The leather jacket he’s wearing doesn’t look new, but it looks like it’s either been washed or it’s a different coat that he bought used from somewhere. It’s possible, no matter how unlikely, he even had his coat dry-cleaned.
Fusenshoff: “We’re approaching two years since my first match in Empire Pro. Our Intercontinental Champion inaugurated the latest chapter of what may be considered an otherwise mundane and calamitous life.
“I lived in relative solitude as my friends experienced higher learning. They lived through a roller coaster ride of sensations which comes from growing and fumbling through the excess freedom of college. I missed out on parties that last all weekend and studying with the cute girl from my Arts and Humanities class. There was no tailgating in the freezing cold with friends I barely know, but may end up spending the next four years drinking with. I could’ve spent semesters studying Chaucer and Homer with some of the world’s most brilliant minds.
“Instead I allowed my grief to consume me. It was paralytic as I spent all my time reliving one lousy moment and its repercussions. I lived with no home and dead-end jobs. Halfway houses were like oases back then. They’d give me a place to squat, set me up with a sh*tty job and I’d work until my bosses and co-workers finally had it with the smell of blackjack on my breath. It’s remarkable I found this gig. I only have to be sober on fight night and get paid well for twenty minutes of work.
“One thing I’ve always loved about jobs is how they can be so preoccupying. We’ve all been there where the time soars through the clouds and you almost seem to wake up amazed at how attentive you were to the task at hand. It’s exhilarating when it hits you. An addiction so fierce you relish it when you can let everything go and just focus on the moment in front of you.
“That’s the only blessing that has come from living the way I did for so many years. People with healthy lives don’t cherish those moments as much as those who live with trauma as their shadow. You don’t just enjoy those moments when they happen to occur. You embrace them like a mother does her newborn.
“I spent those five years trying to cultivate that feeling as much as possible. It was my only way of escape. I got pretty good at it. I was desperate for it.
“I sought out those moments like I do booze. At first the cloud of grief felt like a cross I had to bear. But after a time you have no choice. I started drinking. I kept drinking, but the numbness is a temporary hideaway. It doesn’t transport you to another place entirely. The demons still linger.
“Some people can get lost in an episode of Friends or a zombie movie. Books used to do it for me before the accident. That wasn’t enough anymore. It takes so much for me to find those places where the loss and guilt can’t penetrate my thoughts, even for a split-second.
“I’ve found that place in the ring. My time between the ropes is my only safe haven. More often than not it’s fulfilling enough that I’m glad I didn’t finish myself off years ago.
“Over the past few years I’ve learned to refine my focus. Getting dropped on your head is jarring and takes time to get used to. Some guys allow the ebb and flow of a match to alter their approach and concentration. I’ve even slipped here and there.
“But I’m getting more and more consistent as the months pass.
“Karl, there’s no question we both have a mutual respect for each other. We’ve never met in the ring, but we’re both aficionados of the sport. We know talent and class when we see it.
“That said, I’m hoping this promo period will be a little less polite than it’s been so far. I’ll be looking to rattle your cage at the first opportunity. So far you’ve just been spouting off reasons you’re not washed up or rusty. That’s all well and good, but it doesn’t mean a whole lot to anyone but you. I don’t care if you’re coming off a triple bypass. I’m going to fight you the same way. If you know me as well as you seem to, then it goes without saying.
“So let’s take off the mitts and show these people why we’ll be the highlight of Aggression 50.”
Fade out as Fusenshoff leaves the backdrop. He’s serene and seems to be very ready for this match, but careful not to get too excited.
Fusenshoff: “We’re approaching two years since my first match in Empire Pro. Our Intercontinental Champion inaugurated the latest chapter of what may be considered an otherwise mundane and calamitous life.
“I lived in relative solitude as my friends experienced higher learning. They lived through a roller coaster ride of sensations which comes from growing and fumbling through the excess freedom of college. I missed out on parties that last all weekend and studying with the cute girl from my Arts and Humanities class. There was no tailgating in the freezing cold with friends I barely know, but may end up spending the next four years drinking with. I could’ve spent semesters studying Chaucer and Homer with some of the world’s most brilliant minds.
“Instead I allowed my grief to consume me. It was paralytic as I spent all my time reliving one lousy moment and its repercussions. I lived with no home and dead-end jobs. Halfway houses were like oases back then. They’d give me a place to squat, set me up with a sh*tty job and I’d work until my bosses and co-workers finally had it with the smell of blackjack on my breath. It’s remarkable I found this gig. I only have to be sober on fight night and get paid well for twenty minutes of work.
“One thing I’ve always loved about jobs is how they can be so preoccupying. We’ve all been there where the time soars through the clouds and you almost seem to wake up amazed at how attentive you were to the task at hand. It’s exhilarating when it hits you. An addiction so fierce you relish it when you can let everything go and just focus on the moment in front of you.
“That’s the only blessing that has come from living the way I did for so many years. People with healthy lives don’t cherish those moments as much as those who live with trauma as their shadow. You don’t just enjoy those moments when they happen to occur. You embrace them like a mother does her newborn.
“I spent those five years trying to cultivate that feeling as much as possible. It was my only way of escape. I got pretty good at it. I was desperate for it.
“I sought out those moments like I do booze. At first the cloud of grief felt like a cross I had to bear. But after a time you have no choice. I started drinking. I kept drinking, but the numbness is a temporary hideaway. It doesn’t transport you to another place entirely. The demons still linger.
“Some people can get lost in an episode of Friends or a zombie movie. Books used to do it for me before the accident. That wasn’t enough anymore. It takes so much for me to find those places where the loss and guilt can’t penetrate my thoughts, even for a split-second.
“I’ve found that place in the ring. My time between the ropes is my only safe haven. More often than not it’s fulfilling enough that I’m glad I didn’t finish myself off years ago.
“Over the past few years I’ve learned to refine my focus. Getting dropped on your head is jarring and takes time to get used to. Some guys allow the ebb and flow of a match to alter their approach and concentration. I’ve even slipped here and there.
“But I’m getting more and more consistent as the months pass.
“Karl, there’s no question we both have a mutual respect for each other. We’ve never met in the ring, but we’re both aficionados of the sport. We know talent and class when we see it.
“That said, I’m hoping this promo period will be a little less polite than it’s been so far. I’ll be looking to rattle your cage at the first opportunity. So far you’ve just been spouting off reasons you’re not washed up or rusty. That’s all well and good, but it doesn’t mean a whole lot to anyone but you. I don’t care if you’re coming off a triple bypass. I’m going to fight you the same way. If you know me as well as you seem to, then it goes without saying.
“So let’s take off the mitts and show these people why we’ll be the highlight of Aggression 50.”
Fade out as Fusenshoff leaves the backdrop. He’s serene and seems to be very ready for this match, but careful not to get too excited.
EpyonMarx
New member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2003
- Messages
- 1,004
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- 0
- Location
- Nottingham, England
- Website
- www.karl-brown.co.uk
[FADE IN. “The Dragon” is sitting on an unnamed hill, dressed as you might expect from him: a fleece jacket, jeans and boots. In his right hand he’s holding a bottle of water which he sips from periodically]
Karl: Aww, Fusenhoff – and here I thought we were going to have a good old-fashioned, spirit-of-competition, may-the-best-man-win slugfest. Now you’ve spoilt it all by saying you want to try and rattle me. Shucks.
Of course, I’m joking. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. Rattling an opponent, getting into their head and causing them to make a mistake… it’s what any decent competitor should do. It happens in almost every sport; you put someone off their game, get into their head, and you can almost guarantee the victory. It’s like chess – whoever makes the second to last mistake, wins. The sooner you make your opponent make that last mistake, the sooner you can pin their shoulders to the mat or tie them up in a near unbreakable submission hold and force their body to order their mind to quit.
I’m also joking because I appreciate your honesty. It’s an incredibly rare thing in this business, someone who’s open and honest. There are a lot of people who try to hide who they are within a persona that becomes so well-worn, they forget who they actually are. Then there are the ones who’ve tried to become what they want to be and hide who they really are. At least with you, you admit you’ve made mistakes, you’ll make mistakes in the future, and you’re working hard to eliminate them. You’re also honest enough that I don’t see any need to cut you down from your pedestal, because you have worked incredibly hard to get their and are prepared to work just as hard – without an overblown ego – to stay there. I’m actually getting closer to being able to answer the question, “What do I think about Fusenhoff?”
What I think about you, right now, is mostly positive. You’re planning to try and rattle me, and you’re going to give me everything you’ve got. I wouldn’t expect or want anything less. But… are you sure you can beat me? I don’t mean are you totally certain you will beat me, because anything’s possible – but are you going to beat me, or just wrestle me?
You see, Fusenhoff, I’ve been in competition for sixteen years in one sport or another. I know that you can never guarantee a win, for the same reason that you can’t guarantee the sun coming up tomorrow. You’re as near to certain as makes no odds it will, but the Earth may decide not to spin, or the sun might die, or any other number of infinitely small possibilities. But the one thing I have done and kept to, in almost every single contest I’ve been in – is gone in to win. Not to have a great and spectacular match. If I can win inside ten seconds, trust me, I’ll take it. Anybody would, rather than risk injury by continuing when they didn’t have to. Of course I’d rather my opponent pushed me, forced me to break through my own limits, but if they can’t do that and I can beat them without breaking a sweat… it saves on showering.
I hope you understand what I’m saying, Fusenhoff. Don’t think that this match will be the highlight of the card, because if either one of us sees a chance to get the pin or apply that unbreakable submission hold we’re going to take it, whether the fans have had their money’s worth or not.
Of course, I hope I’ve simply misread the situation. It wouldn’t be the first time and it won’t be the last. I want the fans to go home satisfied after seeing two young men wrestle a clinic. But, as I say, I can’t promise that.
But, I do want to offer you one further piece of advice before we get to Aggression, by way of thanks for the insight into your mind. It will also tell you, hopefully, why despite your wishes to rattle me, you’re going to find it much harder than you would’ve done a couple of years ago.
Life isn’t meant to be taken seriously, Fusenhoff. Love, loss, grief, anger, happiness, joy, frustration – it’s nothing in the grand scheme of things. Life doesn’t take you or I seriously, and the sooner people stopped taking it seriously the better it’ll become. You’re fighting your own demons, some people are trying to grab titles and gold, others are trying to get promoted in the office and others still are trying desperately to cling to former glories so they won’t be seen as somehow weak. Me? Life is life to me. I’ve done things I wouldn’t do now, but they’re done and I won’t worry about them any more. I don’t even look to the future, only walk towards it.
Whatever you do with your life, life itself doesn’t care. The sooner you realise that, and stop taking life at all seriously, the better you’ll be. At least, that’s my philosophy. I could be totally wrong.
I know come Aggression, neither of us is going to make it intentionally easy for the other to beat them. We’re both very proud competitors, whether the battle is against an opponent or striving to break through our own physical and emotional limits. I’m going to take this match seriously from the first bell to the last, but after that… well, we’ll see. I hope you reflect on what I’ve said, Fusenhoff, because trying to rattle me is more likely to frustrate you than it is me. And when you’re frustrated… and you make a mistake…
This Dragon’s still got some Bite.
[FADE OUT]
Karl: Aww, Fusenhoff – and here I thought we were going to have a good old-fashioned, spirit-of-competition, may-the-best-man-win slugfest. Now you’ve spoilt it all by saying you want to try and rattle me. Shucks.
Of course, I’m joking. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. Rattling an opponent, getting into their head and causing them to make a mistake… it’s what any decent competitor should do. It happens in almost every sport; you put someone off their game, get into their head, and you can almost guarantee the victory. It’s like chess – whoever makes the second to last mistake, wins. The sooner you make your opponent make that last mistake, the sooner you can pin their shoulders to the mat or tie them up in a near unbreakable submission hold and force their body to order their mind to quit.
I’m also joking because I appreciate your honesty. It’s an incredibly rare thing in this business, someone who’s open and honest. There are a lot of people who try to hide who they are within a persona that becomes so well-worn, they forget who they actually are. Then there are the ones who’ve tried to become what they want to be and hide who they really are. At least with you, you admit you’ve made mistakes, you’ll make mistakes in the future, and you’re working hard to eliminate them. You’re also honest enough that I don’t see any need to cut you down from your pedestal, because you have worked incredibly hard to get their and are prepared to work just as hard – without an overblown ego – to stay there. I’m actually getting closer to being able to answer the question, “What do I think about Fusenhoff?”
What I think about you, right now, is mostly positive. You’re planning to try and rattle me, and you’re going to give me everything you’ve got. I wouldn’t expect or want anything less. But… are you sure you can beat me? I don’t mean are you totally certain you will beat me, because anything’s possible – but are you going to beat me, or just wrestle me?
You see, Fusenhoff, I’ve been in competition for sixteen years in one sport or another. I know that you can never guarantee a win, for the same reason that you can’t guarantee the sun coming up tomorrow. You’re as near to certain as makes no odds it will, but the Earth may decide not to spin, or the sun might die, or any other number of infinitely small possibilities. But the one thing I have done and kept to, in almost every single contest I’ve been in – is gone in to win. Not to have a great and spectacular match. If I can win inside ten seconds, trust me, I’ll take it. Anybody would, rather than risk injury by continuing when they didn’t have to. Of course I’d rather my opponent pushed me, forced me to break through my own limits, but if they can’t do that and I can beat them without breaking a sweat… it saves on showering.
I hope you understand what I’m saying, Fusenhoff. Don’t think that this match will be the highlight of the card, because if either one of us sees a chance to get the pin or apply that unbreakable submission hold we’re going to take it, whether the fans have had their money’s worth or not.
Of course, I hope I’ve simply misread the situation. It wouldn’t be the first time and it won’t be the last. I want the fans to go home satisfied after seeing two young men wrestle a clinic. But, as I say, I can’t promise that.
But, I do want to offer you one further piece of advice before we get to Aggression, by way of thanks for the insight into your mind. It will also tell you, hopefully, why despite your wishes to rattle me, you’re going to find it much harder than you would’ve done a couple of years ago.
Life isn’t meant to be taken seriously, Fusenhoff. Love, loss, grief, anger, happiness, joy, frustration – it’s nothing in the grand scheme of things. Life doesn’t take you or I seriously, and the sooner people stopped taking it seriously the better it’ll become. You’re fighting your own demons, some people are trying to grab titles and gold, others are trying to get promoted in the office and others still are trying desperately to cling to former glories so they won’t be seen as somehow weak. Me? Life is life to me. I’ve done things I wouldn’t do now, but they’re done and I won’t worry about them any more. I don’t even look to the future, only walk towards it.
Whatever you do with your life, life itself doesn’t care. The sooner you realise that, and stop taking life at all seriously, the better you’ll be. At least, that’s my philosophy. I could be totally wrong.
I know come Aggression, neither of us is going to make it intentionally easy for the other to beat them. We’re both very proud competitors, whether the battle is against an opponent or striving to break through our own physical and emotional limits. I’m going to take this match seriously from the first bell to the last, but after that… well, we’ll see. I hope you reflect on what I’ve said, Fusenhoff, because trying to rattle me is more likely to frustrate you than it is me. And when you’re frustrated… and you make a mistake…
This Dragon’s still got some Bite.
[FADE OUT]
Fusenshoff
League Member
Fade in to Fusenshoff sitting once again in front of an EPW backdrop. He considered an elaborate vista with fire and brimstone or water and earth that somehow would tie into the theme of his promo and show his ingenuity. Fortunately, instead his habits held true and he wasn’t forced to feign glamour to shadow trepidation under the guise of merit. So instead it’s the stool, worn attire and 750 mL of verve.
Fusenshoff: “It must suck when your own words bite you in the ass. And with teeth like a dragon, those incisors can be crippling.
“Well I’ll say this much Karl, you’re definitely not the same man you were two years ago when things finally started taking a downturn and you tucked tail immediately, spreading your wings and heading off to… well, wherever the hell you went… some dojo apparently.”
Fusenshoff pauses for emphasis and sucks down some liberation in a bottle.
“You’re not entirely different from the Karl we remember. The personality seems the same. You’re still all logic, taking it wherever you feel like whether it’s true to your character or total bullsh*t to make a point. I’ll get to that later.
“You’re still just as dull. I’ve finished logic puzzles designed by Cameron Cruise that are more entertaining than a typical Karl Brown promo. You’re less lively than a cult party that’s already passed out the punch.
“That’s about where the similarities end, though between the old Karl Brown and the new one. Like, what happened to the Karl that doesn’t read body language or tone of voice and sticks strictly to the words as they’re meant to be interpreted by Merriam-Webster? James Joyce is rolling over in his grave like a canine craving Beggin’ Strips right now.
“I said I’d ‘rattle your cage at the first opportunity’. There was nothing in there about making it my personal mission to ruffle your scales. I have no intention of hinging whether I’ll win or lose on that point. The major emphasis of a promotional period is to antagonize one another. Our tête à tête had all the virulence of a tickle fight when I said that. Hell, the whole dialogue began with you verbally fellating me in public while I stood in the ring and you were on-stage at Aggression 49. Far be it from me to take the initiative and foreshadow the inevitability of an abrasive diatribe from yours truly at some point in this encounter.
“So if you were under the impression that I’d fret for hours while grinding my teeth and breaking pencils in half as I gauge your reaction to my every word… well then we haven’t been properly introduced.
“Hi, I’m Fusenshoff- two ‘s’s. I like groveling in my sorrow, drinking more than a German platoon, and I don’t give a sh*t how you feel about anything I say or do. Nice to meet you.
“Sorry- never been much of an approval seeker. That sense of self-importance pretty much goes out a fifteen story window when you’re caught sleeping in a stall at White Castle because it’s really f*cking cold outside and having an address isn’t one of your lifestyle priorities.
“But hey, you go ahead and worry about what the fans think, what I think and the ‘image people have of “The Dragon”’. Some people take pride in what they’ve accomplished. I can’t fault you for that. You certainly didn’t miss out on naming off a laundry list of wrestlers in EPW that you’ve trampled. You said yourself ‘the one thing I have done and kept to, in almost every single contest I’ve been in – is gone in to win.’
“That was two days ago.
“But when you fought Mike Randalls a few years back you said ‘I would likewise be content if I went through the rest of my career without another victory, so long as I continued to best myself.’
“Two years is a long time. I guess you forgot about that character trait you used to cling to. That, or I was talking about making our match the highlight of the night and you decided to make a point that was bullsh*t, but made you look good. That, or Randalls was pestering you to burn the EPW IC Title and you thought the logical thing to do was to come up with not caring about winning on a whim.
“Two years is a long time. You’ve just changed your mind; changed your approach. People change when years pass and you’ve been out of the game. You’re full of pride now and what’s pride without winning? Lord knows you’re no stranger to vanity. Against Lindsay Troy you were gung-ho about it. You said things like, ‘Pride is the prize when we set foot in the ring against each other.’ And then there was ‘Pride is at stake at Aggression. The pride between wrestlers; personal pride and acknowledgement.’
“Then less than two years later against The Wolf, during your I don’t care about the IC Title phase because Mike happens to be crapping on it right now, you exclaimed ‘Do I feel pride, or dignity, with the belt? No. I don’t feel pride in my own abilities – I merely trust them.’
“Now that statement has the potential to be spun using made-up, fly by the seat of your pants logic and you’re the master at that. So to bury any retort, I also saw you say ‘To feel pride is to leave oneself open to misery when it transpires that said pride was misplaced, and like misery, pride merely clouds the mind, and further limits understanding by shrouding a number of other possibilities.’
“I apologize about all the digging just to make the point that you spin logic like a dreidel and do it so well that almost everyone doesn’t catch it. I like to do homework, especially against my more talented peers. It gives me that feeling of nostalgia, like I’m back in high school. Gotta love nostalgia Karl. Or maybe it’s because I didn’t get to do research in college so it lets me pretend I didn’t spend years in utter misery. Misery that fuels me to keep kicking out when all logic says I shouldn’t.
“It’s my reason for wrestling; for fighting; for being here. It’s not just my reason when it happens to suit my argument.
“You may be able to twist reason and manipulate it however you see fit Karl Brown, but when it comes to your character none of it makes any sense. How can you focus during a match when you don’t even know what your reason for fighting is? Is it pride? Is it winning? Is it to better yourself, like you told Mike? How can anyone, including you, remove the doubts about anything you claim you believe?
“It sure is a good thing you have your charisma to fall back on.”
Fade out as Fusenshoff has a look of assurance and indomitability on his face. He simply sits there until the screen fades to black this time.
Fusenshoff: “It must suck when your own words bite you in the ass. And with teeth like a dragon, those incisors can be crippling.
“Well I’ll say this much Karl, you’re definitely not the same man you were two years ago when things finally started taking a downturn and you tucked tail immediately, spreading your wings and heading off to… well, wherever the hell you went… some dojo apparently.”
Fusenshoff pauses for emphasis and sucks down some liberation in a bottle.
“You’re not entirely different from the Karl we remember. The personality seems the same. You’re still all logic, taking it wherever you feel like whether it’s true to your character or total bullsh*t to make a point. I’ll get to that later.
“You’re still just as dull. I’ve finished logic puzzles designed by Cameron Cruise that are more entertaining than a typical Karl Brown promo. You’re less lively than a cult party that’s already passed out the punch.
“That’s about where the similarities end, though between the old Karl Brown and the new one. Like, what happened to the Karl that doesn’t read body language or tone of voice and sticks strictly to the words as they’re meant to be interpreted by Merriam-Webster? James Joyce is rolling over in his grave like a canine craving Beggin’ Strips right now.
“I said I’d ‘rattle your cage at the first opportunity’. There was nothing in there about making it my personal mission to ruffle your scales. I have no intention of hinging whether I’ll win or lose on that point. The major emphasis of a promotional period is to antagonize one another. Our tête à tête had all the virulence of a tickle fight when I said that. Hell, the whole dialogue began with you verbally fellating me in public while I stood in the ring and you were on-stage at Aggression 49. Far be it from me to take the initiative and foreshadow the inevitability of an abrasive diatribe from yours truly at some point in this encounter.
“So if you were under the impression that I’d fret for hours while grinding my teeth and breaking pencils in half as I gauge your reaction to my every word… well then we haven’t been properly introduced.
“Hi, I’m Fusenshoff- two ‘s’s. I like groveling in my sorrow, drinking more than a German platoon, and I don’t give a sh*t how you feel about anything I say or do. Nice to meet you.
“Sorry- never been much of an approval seeker. That sense of self-importance pretty much goes out a fifteen story window when you’re caught sleeping in a stall at White Castle because it’s really f*cking cold outside and having an address isn’t one of your lifestyle priorities.
“But hey, you go ahead and worry about what the fans think, what I think and the ‘image people have of “The Dragon”’. Some people take pride in what they’ve accomplished. I can’t fault you for that. You certainly didn’t miss out on naming off a laundry list of wrestlers in EPW that you’ve trampled. You said yourself ‘the one thing I have done and kept to, in almost every single contest I’ve been in – is gone in to win.’
“That was two days ago.
“But when you fought Mike Randalls a few years back you said ‘I would likewise be content if I went through the rest of my career without another victory, so long as I continued to best myself.’
“Two years is a long time. I guess you forgot about that character trait you used to cling to. That, or I was talking about making our match the highlight of the night and you decided to make a point that was bullsh*t, but made you look good. That, or Randalls was pestering you to burn the EPW IC Title and you thought the logical thing to do was to come up with not caring about winning on a whim.
“Two years is a long time. You’ve just changed your mind; changed your approach. People change when years pass and you’ve been out of the game. You’re full of pride now and what’s pride without winning? Lord knows you’re no stranger to vanity. Against Lindsay Troy you were gung-ho about it. You said things like, ‘Pride is the prize when we set foot in the ring against each other.’ And then there was ‘Pride is at stake at Aggression. The pride between wrestlers; personal pride and acknowledgement.’
“Then less than two years later against The Wolf, during your I don’t care about the IC Title phase because Mike happens to be crapping on it right now, you exclaimed ‘Do I feel pride, or dignity, with the belt? No. I don’t feel pride in my own abilities – I merely trust them.’
“Now that statement has the potential to be spun using made-up, fly by the seat of your pants logic and you’re the master at that. So to bury any retort, I also saw you say ‘To feel pride is to leave oneself open to misery when it transpires that said pride was misplaced, and like misery, pride merely clouds the mind, and further limits understanding by shrouding a number of other possibilities.’
“I apologize about all the digging just to make the point that you spin logic like a dreidel and do it so well that almost everyone doesn’t catch it. I like to do homework, especially against my more talented peers. It gives me that feeling of nostalgia, like I’m back in high school. Gotta love nostalgia Karl. Or maybe it’s because I didn’t get to do research in college so it lets me pretend I didn’t spend years in utter misery. Misery that fuels me to keep kicking out when all logic says I shouldn’t.
“It’s my reason for wrestling; for fighting; for being here. It’s not just my reason when it happens to suit my argument.
“You may be able to twist reason and manipulate it however you see fit Karl Brown, but when it comes to your character none of it makes any sense. How can you focus during a match when you don’t even know what your reason for fighting is? Is it pride? Is it winning? Is it to better yourself, like you told Mike? How can anyone, including you, remove the doubts about anything you claim you believe?
“It sure is a good thing you have your charisma to fall back on.”
Fade out as Fusenshoff has a look of assurance and indomitability on his face. He simply sits there until the screen fades to black this time.
Last edited:
EpyonMarx
New member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2003
- Messages
- 1,004
- Points
- 0
- Location
- Nottingham, England
- Website
- www.karl-brown.co.uk
[FADE IN to a lone red flame, flickering softly. For now, when we hear a voice, it echoes unseen]
Karl: Tricks. Magicians use them to entertain the crowd and earn some money. Priests and shaman have used them for centuries to beguile and control. And ordinary men use them to play a perpetual game of one-upsmanship. Not all tricks are obvious, and not all tricks are subtle. Some are word tricks, some are sleight of hand, some are visual and some are auditory. But they all have the same core use.
[Suddenly, the flame is reflected in dozens of mirrors. They start as a circle, running behind our vantage point, but quickly change to form first a winding corridor, and then a straight one, another source-less flame in the far distance burning green]
Karl: They’re all used for personal gain. Money, fame, status, position… anything you can imagine, can be gained by tricks. And almost all tricks can be seen through.
Except the tricks we play on ourselves.
[The red flame sputters, and in its death-throes almost screams in agony. The green flame still burns brightly, growing in strength as the mirrors close around it. A low, lonely note plays from a ghostly unseen flute as we drift through the flame and into a mirror. We turn, the flame flickering in the distance as the sound of gravel being crunched underfoot joins the flute. We turn again, the sound shifting to come at us from behind]
Karl: We all play tricks on ourselves. The man who loathes his job but tells himself that he does it to feed his family could do another job, but not only has he tricked himself into thinking he needs this one to provide for his family, he’s also tricked himself into thinking he might not get another job. The company president who builds an illusion of greatness through his position and wealth tricks himself into believing he’s worth anything, when he could in reality be replaced by a toy hamster without negative impact on the company. The man who dives from the hotel balcony with his two children can fool themselves for years, thinking that if they’d done something differently, their children’s deaths could’ve been avoided but that too is a trick – not to soothe their soul, but to punish it by reliving what can’t be changed. But by far the biggest trick that any man can play on themselves… is a very, very simple one.
It’s life. More precisely, thinking we can understand our own lives.
[Suddenly the droning note stops, the footsteps stop, and the glow from the green flame dies. We are left cold and alone in pitch Nothingness]
Karl: At best, we can only make vague guesses and assumptions. We can’t even discuss what we think we don’t know, because we cannot communicate. At least not without being misunderstood.
[The scene changes, showing “The Dragon” standing alone in a vast plain. We ZOOM IN from distance, sweeping down until we’re level with his face. ZOOMING OUT slightly, “The Dragon” turns, gesturing to the plain]
Karl: Ask any group of people to explain – this – and you’ll get some of the same words used, but the meaning’ll be different. We all perceive things differently, rely on our minds to understand what we perceive, and use the limited modes of communication we have to try and tell others in a way that they’ll perceive what we do.
Understand? Mankind has made life such that no two men can understand each other. And because man as a whole has a need to define itself based on relations with others, because we can’t form one opinion on something as seemingly basic as a definition of a plain, we can’t begin to understand ourselves. To understand ourselves we’d need a consensus of opinion and communication means we’ll never achieve it.
Or if you want the short version, Karl Popper said it’s impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood.
And it seems… Fusenhoff, since he responds to that name, and I have both been guilty of misunderstanding the other. Egg on my face? Not really. Like I said earlier, I’ve made mistakes before. I’ll make more. I learn more from mistakes, they’re fun. Hopefully Fusenhoff’ll learn the fun of having made mistakes.
Yes, I’m going to keep mispronouncing your name. It rolls off the tongue easier, and a name’s just something other people use to identify you, so if you respond to it, hey, let them use it. But that’s not the point here. The point I’m making… is you’ve fallen into a whole raft of tricks and traps, none of which I set… ok, maybe one or two that I set. My mind works differently to most so seeing someone supposed neuro-typical is interesting. Like watching someone from a totally alien culture with different sociological rules. I can’t help it.
But… ignoring the traps I set, you fell into one I didn’t think was possible to fall into anymore. Not the forgetting what’s different about me, but… forgetting that I don’t care if I beat someone. If you remember what I said… I said I’ve always gone in to win, but winning doesn’t necessarily mean me beating you. That’s the difference between me and, say… let’s take Christian Sands as an example. He’d come to the ring to beat you. That’s what he’d focus on. I come to ring to test my own abilities, and if I break through my own limits, I win. It used to be if I beat my personal best in the triple jump, I won. I’d also normally win a medal but that never really interested me. It’s the same now in wrestling – if I beat my own abilities, I win. If you don’t put up enough of a fight for me to come close to my limits and I pin you or make you submit, I’ve won. Because I’ve learnt something – just how far my limits are. That might be difficult for some people to understand, but it’s what I mean when I say I go out there to win.
Mike Randalls? That match? Heck, I remember that one. I said pretty much the same thing back then as I have all week. It’s a test of my own limits that I’m after. When Sergeant beat me, what irritated me most wasn’t losing the title, but not having given it my absolute all. If you beat me and I don’t give it everything I’ve got, I’ll be miffed at myself. When Troy Douglas made me submit, I was actually pretty happy.
I hope you understand that a bit better. Sorry I couldn’t make it all singing and dancing but, truth be told, most of what passes for entertainment these days I find dull. Different people, different opinions.
Even about what constitutes a plain.
[He starts to walk away from the camera, before turning on his heel to face the camera, arms outstretched]
Karl: You know what, Fusenhoff? Despite us both not really getting each other, this match is still looking interesting to me. I doubt my limits are anywhere near what they were, but beyond all the misunderstanding I do see you as someone who won’t stop. Who wants to push himself as much as I want to push myself. If we’re at similar levels, it’ll be interesting to see who goes beyond that limit first. If one of us is below-par, it’ll be interesting to see if they can force themselves back to standard. A battle of prides, a battle of two egos, and a battle where we could both walk away winner, no matter who pins the other.
Whatever happens, I’m going to shake your hand. No game, no trick, and nothing to gain from it.
[Suddenly, “The Dragon” disappears from view. We PAN DOWN to where he stood, and see a small handmirror. ZOOMING IN closer, we see “The Dragon” standing in the mirror, leaning against the bonnet of his car just off the freeway]
Karl: OK, maybe one more trick.
[FADE OUT]
Karl: Tricks. Magicians use them to entertain the crowd and earn some money. Priests and shaman have used them for centuries to beguile and control. And ordinary men use them to play a perpetual game of one-upsmanship. Not all tricks are obvious, and not all tricks are subtle. Some are word tricks, some are sleight of hand, some are visual and some are auditory. But they all have the same core use.
[Suddenly, the flame is reflected in dozens of mirrors. They start as a circle, running behind our vantage point, but quickly change to form first a winding corridor, and then a straight one, another source-less flame in the far distance burning green]
Karl: They’re all used for personal gain. Money, fame, status, position… anything you can imagine, can be gained by tricks. And almost all tricks can be seen through.
Except the tricks we play on ourselves.
[The red flame sputters, and in its death-throes almost screams in agony. The green flame still burns brightly, growing in strength as the mirrors close around it. A low, lonely note plays from a ghostly unseen flute as we drift through the flame and into a mirror. We turn, the flame flickering in the distance as the sound of gravel being crunched underfoot joins the flute. We turn again, the sound shifting to come at us from behind]
Karl: We all play tricks on ourselves. The man who loathes his job but tells himself that he does it to feed his family could do another job, but not only has he tricked himself into thinking he needs this one to provide for his family, he’s also tricked himself into thinking he might not get another job. The company president who builds an illusion of greatness through his position and wealth tricks himself into believing he’s worth anything, when he could in reality be replaced by a toy hamster without negative impact on the company. The man who dives from the hotel balcony with his two children can fool themselves for years, thinking that if they’d done something differently, their children’s deaths could’ve been avoided but that too is a trick – not to soothe their soul, but to punish it by reliving what can’t be changed. But by far the biggest trick that any man can play on themselves… is a very, very simple one.
It’s life. More precisely, thinking we can understand our own lives.
[Suddenly the droning note stops, the footsteps stop, and the glow from the green flame dies. We are left cold and alone in pitch Nothingness]
Karl: At best, we can only make vague guesses and assumptions. We can’t even discuss what we think we don’t know, because we cannot communicate. At least not without being misunderstood.
[The scene changes, showing “The Dragon” standing alone in a vast plain. We ZOOM IN from distance, sweeping down until we’re level with his face. ZOOMING OUT slightly, “The Dragon” turns, gesturing to the plain]
Karl: Ask any group of people to explain – this – and you’ll get some of the same words used, but the meaning’ll be different. We all perceive things differently, rely on our minds to understand what we perceive, and use the limited modes of communication we have to try and tell others in a way that they’ll perceive what we do.
Understand? Mankind has made life such that no two men can understand each other. And because man as a whole has a need to define itself based on relations with others, because we can’t form one opinion on something as seemingly basic as a definition of a plain, we can’t begin to understand ourselves. To understand ourselves we’d need a consensus of opinion and communication means we’ll never achieve it.
Or if you want the short version, Karl Popper said it’s impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood.
And it seems… Fusenhoff, since he responds to that name, and I have both been guilty of misunderstanding the other. Egg on my face? Not really. Like I said earlier, I’ve made mistakes before. I’ll make more. I learn more from mistakes, they’re fun. Hopefully Fusenhoff’ll learn the fun of having made mistakes.
Yes, I’m going to keep mispronouncing your name. It rolls off the tongue easier, and a name’s just something other people use to identify you, so if you respond to it, hey, let them use it. But that’s not the point here. The point I’m making… is you’ve fallen into a whole raft of tricks and traps, none of which I set… ok, maybe one or two that I set. My mind works differently to most so seeing someone supposed neuro-typical is interesting. Like watching someone from a totally alien culture with different sociological rules. I can’t help it.
But… ignoring the traps I set, you fell into one I didn’t think was possible to fall into anymore. Not the forgetting what’s different about me, but… forgetting that I don’t care if I beat someone. If you remember what I said… I said I’ve always gone in to win, but winning doesn’t necessarily mean me beating you. That’s the difference between me and, say… let’s take Christian Sands as an example. He’d come to the ring to beat you. That’s what he’d focus on. I come to ring to test my own abilities, and if I break through my own limits, I win. It used to be if I beat my personal best in the triple jump, I won. I’d also normally win a medal but that never really interested me. It’s the same now in wrestling – if I beat my own abilities, I win. If you don’t put up enough of a fight for me to come close to my limits and I pin you or make you submit, I’ve won. Because I’ve learnt something – just how far my limits are. That might be difficult for some people to understand, but it’s what I mean when I say I go out there to win.
Mike Randalls? That match? Heck, I remember that one. I said pretty much the same thing back then as I have all week. It’s a test of my own limits that I’m after. When Sergeant beat me, what irritated me most wasn’t losing the title, but not having given it my absolute all. If you beat me and I don’t give it everything I’ve got, I’ll be miffed at myself. When Troy Douglas made me submit, I was actually pretty happy.
I hope you understand that a bit better. Sorry I couldn’t make it all singing and dancing but, truth be told, most of what passes for entertainment these days I find dull. Different people, different opinions.
Even about what constitutes a plain.
[He starts to walk away from the camera, before turning on his heel to face the camera, arms outstretched]
Karl: You know what, Fusenhoff? Despite us both not really getting each other, this match is still looking interesting to me. I doubt my limits are anywhere near what they were, but beyond all the misunderstanding I do see you as someone who won’t stop. Who wants to push himself as much as I want to push myself. If we’re at similar levels, it’ll be interesting to see who goes beyond that limit first. If one of us is below-par, it’ll be interesting to see if they can force themselves back to standard. A battle of prides, a battle of two egos, and a battle where we could both walk away winner, no matter who pins the other.
Whatever happens, I’m going to shake your hand. No game, no trick, and nothing to gain from it.
[Suddenly, “The Dragon” disappears from view. We PAN DOWN to where he stood, and see a small handmirror. ZOOMING IN closer, we see “The Dragon” standing in the mirror, leaning against the bonnet of his car just off the freeway]
Karl: OK, maybe one more trick.
[FADE OUT]
Fusenshoff
League Member
Fade in to Fusenshoff standing just off the highway, leaning against a light pole. There’s nothing but desert in front of him, yet all the viewers see is the lighted spectacle of casinos and extravagant landmarks behind him. His legs are crossed as he stands, a bottle hanging from a loose arm along the pole. He looks around the desert as cars pass him.
Fusenshoff: “Now that was a coup Karl. No one can pull off inconsistency as consistently as you.
“I’ll give you credit for one thing. You stuck to your guns and continued with what you’re ultimately good at. You used logic, though it was very borderline this time, to twist things in what I’d assume you thought was your favor.
“Winning just means doing your best now, huh? I think we better take this to the presses. They’re gonna wanna know about this, after all. Turns out winning means you tried your best and losing just means you half-assed it. Forget the rest, right?
“I’ll call Drew Brees and you call Brett Favre. We’ll make sure they rally the troops and let them know. I can see it now as they sit in the war room and discuss how to win this weekend.
“There’s the grizzly old Brett, Adrian sitting in the front row so he can actually see, Bryant McKinnie scarfing down a hot dog. Brett says ‘Listen men. Our strategy has changed entirely. I realize that Brees, Colston and Bush have the potential to put up fifty points on us. Well, none of that matters anymore. All we have to do is the best we can. We try our hardest, improve upon last week, and WE’RE IN THE SUPER BOWL BABY! WE MIGHT BE GOING TO DISNEYWORLD! I know, I know, I’m amazing! Now settle down. There’s still a big concern. If both teams try their hardest we both go to the Super Bowl, so we might have to face three teams for the Lombardi Trophy. We’ll just have to try our best then, too.’
“Somebody better call up the Olympic committee because it’s not 1949 anymore. They’re gonna be giving away a lot of gold in Vancouver this year. And the riots?! Can you imagine the number of riots? Sports teams all over the world will have their respective cities and countries going insane as five, ten, maybe more teams in every league will be winning championships.
“Actually, that sounds pretty fun. Maybe you’re on to something Karl.
“Forgive me if I didn’t see this extraordinary trend coming. I should’ve known that when Karl Brown contradicts himself the earth stops on its axis until he comes up with the proper logic to fix it again and make everything right.
“Forget that you mentioned you’ll take a win however you can get it. Remember that whole spiel about saving yourself from showering? I mean, come on man, you’ve gotta be sick of reaching by now. You want to redefine the word win all of a sudden, when you harped on Big Dog incessantly years back for using words out of context.
Well I’ve had enough. I think I proved my point. And since it doesn’t happen often against The Dragon, I’ll simply sit back and enjoy it.
Fusenshoff looks behind him, raises his bottle to the Vegas skyline and takes a swig of his blackjack.
“The fact is you’ve got one solid point. I think we’re both giddy with anticipation over Aggression 50. We’re two men that don’t stay down easy, to put it very lightly. We’ll test each other’s fortitude at a rate rarely seen in this sport. Then again, maybe you’re right. Perhaps one of us will make a mistake early and it’s be over before the blink of The First’s guyliner. I’ve had that happen twice with Dan Ryan and Ice Tre. That was well over one and two years ago, respectively, but like you said, strange things do happen. You, on the other hand, well this is your second match back. You spent your entire first promo ruminating over how rusty you’ll be for this.
“It does worry me a bit that you’re already doubting your resolve, too. Like I said before though, these are things I have no control over. Therefore, worrying about them is fruitless. All I can do is prepare myself for this match and, to come full circle, I’m getting pretty good at that. I promise you that I’ll be ready, focused and fully prepared to last as long as it takes, or pounce on a mistake early.
“I’ve been consistent at it for years now.”
Fade out very slowly as Fusenshoff takes another chug. Soon all that can be seen is the Vegas lights as taillights pass one by one in the foreground.
Fusenshoff: “Now that was a coup Karl. No one can pull off inconsistency as consistently as you.
“I’ll give you credit for one thing. You stuck to your guns and continued with what you’re ultimately good at. You used logic, though it was very borderline this time, to twist things in what I’d assume you thought was your favor.
“Winning just means doing your best now, huh? I think we better take this to the presses. They’re gonna wanna know about this, after all. Turns out winning means you tried your best and losing just means you half-assed it. Forget the rest, right?
“I’ll call Drew Brees and you call Brett Favre. We’ll make sure they rally the troops and let them know. I can see it now as they sit in the war room and discuss how to win this weekend.
“There’s the grizzly old Brett, Adrian sitting in the front row so he can actually see, Bryant McKinnie scarfing down a hot dog. Brett says ‘Listen men. Our strategy has changed entirely. I realize that Brees, Colston and Bush have the potential to put up fifty points on us. Well, none of that matters anymore. All we have to do is the best we can. We try our hardest, improve upon last week, and WE’RE IN THE SUPER BOWL BABY! WE MIGHT BE GOING TO DISNEYWORLD! I know, I know, I’m amazing! Now settle down. There’s still a big concern. If both teams try their hardest we both go to the Super Bowl, so we might have to face three teams for the Lombardi Trophy. We’ll just have to try our best then, too.’
“Somebody better call up the Olympic committee because it’s not 1949 anymore. They’re gonna be giving away a lot of gold in Vancouver this year. And the riots?! Can you imagine the number of riots? Sports teams all over the world will have their respective cities and countries going insane as five, ten, maybe more teams in every league will be winning championships.
“Actually, that sounds pretty fun. Maybe you’re on to something Karl.
“Forgive me if I didn’t see this extraordinary trend coming. I should’ve known that when Karl Brown contradicts himself the earth stops on its axis until he comes up with the proper logic to fix it again and make everything right.
“Forget that you mentioned you’ll take a win however you can get it. Remember that whole spiel about saving yourself from showering? I mean, come on man, you’ve gotta be sick of reaching by now. You want to redefine the word win all of a sudden, when you harped on Big Dog incessantly years back for using words out of context.
Well I’ve had enough. I think I proved my point. And since it doesn’t happen often against The Dragon, I’ll simply sit back and enjoy it.
Fusenshoff looks behind him, raises his bottle to the Vegas skyline and takes a swig of his blackjack.
“The fact is you’ve got one solid point. I think we’re both giddy with anticipation over Aggression 50. We’re two men that don’t stay down easy, to put it very lightly. We’ll test each other’s fortitude at a rate rarely seen in this sport. Then again, maybe you’re right. Perhaps one of us will make a mistake early and it’s be over before the blink of The First’s guyliner. I’ve had that happen twice with Dan Ryan and Ice Tre. That was well over one and two years ago, respectively, but like you said, strange things do happen. You, on the other hand, well this is your second match back. You spent your entire first promo ruminating over how rusty you’ll be for this.
“It does worry me a bit that you’re already doubting your resolve, too. Like I said before though, these are things I have no control over. Therefore, worrying about them is fruitless. All I can do is prepare myself for this match and, to come full circle, I’m getting pretty good at that. I promise you that I’ll be ready, focused and fully prepared to last as long as it takes, or pounce on a mistake early.
“I’ve been consistent at it for years now.”
Fade out very slowly as Fusenshoff takes another chug. Soon all that can be seen is the Vegas lights as taillights pass one by one in the foreground.