AGGRESSION 50: Michael Bastard vs. Kenneth Williams vs. John Doe

[DBrunkGXW]

Post all RP here - this match is triple threat, first fall wins.

 

[John Doe]

FADEIN...

John Doe is sitting at a card table, he is playing Solitaire, s he sets each card down he taps the table looking for another clean move to make. A few seconds go by, a few more cards set down. He finally puts a finger up motioning for the camera to come closer to him.

DOE:

"Congratulations Mr. Dishon, congratulations on your victory at Aggression. The kid has heart he has spirit he has everything it takes to defeat Erik Black this week. I suffered a lost, hell, it was expected, and nothing out of surprise, but rest assured that with that loss comes a slew of things."

"Let's say the Doe stock went down a few points, it fell, I don't need to hear about it, nor do I want to. I know what I want inside, that's what matters, and honestly no one wants to hear the mushy mellow cut back crap that I can spit on these air waves."

"They want to hear honest from the heart facts that I have. Things I believe in, they don't want to hear about how much a passion I have for wrestling, how happy I am or glad I am to be back in Empire. No, they don't."

"They want to discover John Doe, well I am a figment, I am just a man, I am unknown to myself and I am unknown to others. No one knows who I am. That's a plus, my game may seem the same, it may seem constant, but it isn't."

"There's a plus to being a shadow, just a face in the crowd, no one knows how truly dangerous you are. Yes, I have come to face the facts that I am not as good as back in my day, I can't even remember half of my Empire Pro days."

"That's why I have now, why I have the time and place to rip a new ass in some people. And believe me that time to start beating people from ring to ring side, to execute each move with precision and class, that time is now."

"Audience does rally behind a loser, they really behind a hero, something to believe in. I will give them something to believe in, starting with Ken Williams and Michael Bastard."

"So I heard, Bastard will be a challenge, a challenge I will set focus on, Williams, well, I'm not too worried about. Fact is I really don't know either one of you, just like Dishon you are both new to Empire."

"But, you won't be as lucky as Dishon was, you won't be as fortunate to get an upper hand on me, that's for damn sure. You think that Dishon won because of skill, the guy is exploding with talent, but he isn't better than me."

"No, he is a lucky kid, he had nothing to lose if he got pinned by me, I am the veteran. That may not mean much, but it does to me, it means I have something to prove, you new scraps, you will get your time."

"My time is now."

"I learned from the best, I faced the best, and I lost to the best, now I am taking those lessons and using them, I am at a peak, I am going to show you and Empire what it takes to get to the top."

"I am a humble man, I enjoy simple things in a simple time, but there is one thing I hate, and that is losing. I hate being put to my shoulders and not being able to justify to myself why it happened. Sure I can say Dishon was better, he proved that, but that's not enough."

"I made an error, I am not out of my game, I am not some step rock for some new comers. I am better than that, and I can prove that this week."

"Aggression 50, is a milestone in this company, and as much as it pained me not to see my name making the DVD, not one of my matches being added to a legacy, after all I did for this company, after the matches I went through, I will still appear on this card."

"I may be curtain jerking this place, but I am going to do some with some damn honor. As much as this company may look at me as some half assed astronaut that they just want to get rid of. As much as this company may look at me like I am a leper. *I will still go out and put in my efforts."

"My efforts this week will not go without reward. Oh, there will be a payout, there will be light at the end of my tunnel, that you can believe, it begins with Williams and Bastard."

"It is one route motion, ain't no one going to stop it."

"Count on it."

FADEOUT.

 

[TH]

The scene is a refrigerated meat locker, bare except for a lone side of beef hanging from the ceiling. In the background is Michael Bastard, fists taped, wearing only boxing shorts, a wifebeater and his wrestling boots, laying waste to the beef. In the foreground stands his manager, The Amazing Logan, dressed in a knit cap, gray hoodie, faded jeans and Doc Marten boots, his back hunched over and his cane doing most of the work keeping him upright. Vapor gushes out of his mouth as he begins to speak.

TAL: For those who had the privilege of witnessing us dismantle and destroy Kenneth Williams at Onslaught, hello again. For those who are tuning in for the first time, I'm supposing a proper introduction is in order. I am the Amazing Logan, and I represent the man behind me. He is Michael Bastard, rage personified, an amalgamation of concentrated hatred and blinding fury, as much human wrecking power as you can possibly fit in five feet, eleven inches and two hundred-twenty eight pounds. If you don't believe me when I tell you, well, you'll only have to wait a few more days to see it for yourself. Aggresson 50, the grand stage, seen by fans of two different wrestling promotions. That will be where the official debut, under the bright lights and the scrutiny of the entire wrestling world.

And it's there where the swarth of destruction will stand up and be noticed.

Kenneth, it began with you at Onslaught after finally deigned to show the world your face and let people know about your history. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed that you showed up and illuminated your heretofor dark history if you will. It screwed up my narrative pretty good. Here I was, hoping to have Michael's dry run be against someone anonymous, someone no one would remember, and here you come out, spewing generic lines about having nothing to say, all the while trying to paint some sort of picture of a hybrid between Undertaker's Dead Man and Biker characters. Yes, that impact was about as impressive as the fight you put up for Michael at Onslaught.

Fear not though, Kenneth. I have good news for you. Since you obviously are an afficianado of the kind bud, Michael here is going to give you an out to get the best stuff around. You see, I read a report the other day about medicinal marijuana. You know, they're legalizing it in more and more states around the Union, New Jersey being the latest to kick the tires on it. Apparently, it's very potent, several times stronger than what you get on the streets. It makes your garden variety sweet leaf look like oregano and pencil shavings. What does this mean for you? Well, after Michael finishes the job he started at Onslaught, you'll have no problem justifying to any doctor the pain in your joints and muscles. You'll be able to get a medical marijuana card with no problem whatsoever. Even as your body is ravaged, you won't feel any pain at all.

As for you, John Doe, ah yes, you, the shitty gimmick personified. The man who claims to be an amnesiac but acts an awful lot like you're not concerned about regaining your memories. I'd say you're more like Chuck Norris playing an amnesiac rather that someone who actually lost his memory. If you're not trying to fool all of us, then bravo at really not wanting to know who you really were, because if your current wrestling career is any indication, well, I don't think who you were pre-brain trauma was all that spectacular to begin with. When the thing you're most remembered for is being on the receiving end of a swirlie from Adam Benjamin, well, I think that speaks for itself.

And I think you share the same low image of yourself that I have of you, because no man who is confident in his abilities would try to utter the phrase "the audience loves a loser". No, John, the audience doesn't love a loser. They pity losers. The audience loves underdogs, and there's a huge difference because sometimes the underdog wins. John, you will most likely have the crowd behind you in this match, because you will be the underdog, the buffalo in the sights of the mighty mountain lion. The only chance you have of survival is hoping that Kenneth proves to be the slow member of the herd or that you get a head start and run for your life. Because if you turn around and try to stampede, well, you're only going to catch a killshot to the jugular. Michael, like a mountain lion, is quick and he's hungry.

Bastard stops punching the side of beef, leans in and sinks his jaws into hunk of meat. He clamps down and rips a wallet-sized piece out, chewing on it with the intensity of a cougar devouring its kill.

TAL: See John, the support of the crowd can only take you so far. You say you're at the beginning of your journey, the latest attempt at rebooting your franchise after several failed ends, and you say that you welcome the challenge from Michael as a springboard point to something bigger and better. Well, I'm glad you see Michael as a challenge, as even the toughest fighters would have trouble taking him down, but I'm sorry to say the feeling isn't mutual. This match is not but a showcase to the entire world for the utter obliteration that this man tortured by demons can unleash. I would have rather have had Michael face one of Empire's aces, but everyone has to start somewhere, and I doubt Dan Ryan wants to risk one of his top stars like The First or Jared Wells getting hurt on what will be the biggest free television show in his company's history.

I wish I could give you more respect, John, but you haven't done anything to earn it. And that's why I see no reason why Michael can't tear through you and Kenneth without breaking a sweat. Aggression 50 will be a night to remember for all the fans, and I can guarantee that for both of you, it'll be a night you'll both want to forget.

John and Kenneth...

Bastard swallows the last bit of raw meat and bellows out.

MB: WELCOME TO THE FREAKSHOW! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Bastard's primal scream continues as Logan lifts his cane and knocks the camera out of the frame. The screen goes to static.

 

[John Doe]

DOE ( VOICE OVER):

“Silence….intake it….”

“Solitude…embrace it…”

“Satisfaction…endorse it…”

“Defeat…accept it…”

FADE IN….

We are inside of a gym. John Doe is sitting on the apron of the ring, he is unwrapping some tape on his hands as he nods a bit gathering what words he wishes to say. This gym is a bit underground, more of a place where a man would go to train in solitude. He leans against the ropes hand resting on the bottom one as he speaks.

DOE:

“First, I want to establish something, I never played a gimmick, Logan. I never wanted to play a gimmick. Gimmicks are reserved for people who have some need for attention, they want some sort of spotlight.“

“I actually want to the real side of it all, Logan. Truth is, I have no reason to discover my past, I have nothing in that past. You lack to see that, you would rather accuse me of fraud than intake the fact that this is NOW. I am a John Doe, a nobody, a man that wanders the earth seeking his identify through one place.”
“Wrestling.”

“My identity, who I am, what my past is, it is here, in this very business. That’s my identity, that’s my persona. Whatever my past was, who I may have been, what I use to do, that is irrelevant to me, this industry is all that matters in my life.”

“But you can be just like every other person Bastard, bring up past matches, past defeats, state I have a sh-tty ‘gimmick’. History, it only tends to repeat itself if one allows it to.”

“I regret to inform you, that’s not the case this time around. As you sit in judgment, with a thought that I will fall to you, you have already done the ultimate sin.”

“You see, Logan, as you are the trumpet for Bastard, since you are the mouthpiece, let me point out something. If you want to quote me, if you want to take my words and use them to your benefit, at least make the effort, Logan, to do it slightly correctly.”

“At least give me that amount of dignity. “

“I said: the “audience does rally behind a loser” NOT the’ audience loves a loser’ as you said I did. If you took the time to listen to my entire sentence you would gather up the gist of the point. Allow me to explain, please.”
“I lost last week to Dishon, the audience, the want to rally behind the loser, which Is me, the want to rally behind the hero, which is me, they want something to believe in, again, me.”

“Never, did I give the phrase that I believe I will lose, never came out of my mouth, but you were so fast to shoot at what you thought you heard than take the time to digest the actual meaning.”

“So, let’s settle something here, Logan. As much as you want to promote and make Michael seem as an unstoppable force, you’re lacking to get the larger picture on my words, words you attempted to turn on me. You can’t get the bigger picture as I said, but somehow you can lead this man to victory?”

“Blind leading the blind.”

“That’s who you seem to be Logan, and pardon me if I am wrong, I don’t know you. You know me by what you have seen in videos and tapes, you don’t know me as a person, and you don’t know what lies in my heart of hearts.”

“But you will witness it, you will see it firsthand.”

“I have no stopping point Logan and Bastard, and as Judas Priest would say, ‘some heads are going to roll’. Is Michael a challenge? Sure is, any man is a challenge, but your under estimation of me, that is your downfall.”

John stretches a bit standing up on the apron and now leaning against the top rope.

“Though, I see one thing that you fail to see, Logan. You don’t believe the support of that crowd is enough? A thousand people screaming for you to overcome the odds, to secure victory? “

“Yet, you say that Michaels demons, his torments, that will avail. No, you are mistaken, Logan, they are equal, they are both tools, both sources that bring power, the need for victory, and inflicting pain.”

“You are all too confident in Michael’s abilities, he will be able to showcase his athleticism in that ring, he will show up to Aggression Fifty and he will stand in that ring with me and Kenneth Williams. But there can only be one winner, Logan.”

“Aggression Fifty, isn’t your day, not with me in there. I don’t know where you have wrestled, I don’t care where you have been, the toughest fighters may have had trouble taking Michael down, but they didn’t have the drive that I have Logan.”

“Please, continue to eat your meats and eat your potatoes, that won’t be enough to win this match I am afraid. You don’t have it inside of you to do it.”

“As you said, you wish you could give me more respect, that I didn’t’ do anything to deserve it.”

“That’s a matter of perspective, every man deserves some respect, but I will make sure after I put Michael down for three, that you realize who you need to respect. “

“Yes, respect is earned, and I will earn yours following my victory, or maybe I won’t, it just depends what kind of man you are inside.”

“Real men stare a challenge in the eyes, take it head on. I am going to do that at Aggression Fifty, this is the show, this is the big one, and this is where I excel.”

“Accept it, deny it, pretend it’s not going to happen, I don’t give a damn. Just don’t say I didn’t tell you.”

FADEOUT

 

[TH]

Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge, Not Respect

Scene is alongside dusty Nevada Route 160 coming from the southwest of Sin City, Las Vegas at dusk. A beaten up 1989 Ford F-150 sits pulled off to the shoulder. Michael Bastard is in the background, leaning on the side of the truck, taped arms covered by the sleeves of a gray hooded sweatjacket, wearing ripped up jeans and dusty work boots. The Amazing Logan stands in the foreground, wearing his fedora, a dark gray sport jacket with black pinstripes, old-style Mountain Dew t-shirt underneath, faded blue jeans and Doc Martens. He leans forward on his cane and looks into the desert sky as it melds from day into night.

TAL: Not a gimmick, John, eh? That's fascinating, because everything I heard, everything I read, everything I've seen tends to suggest otherwise. I mean, why go to all the trouble of getting into wrestling as an amnesiac instead of treating your symptoms, that seems rather odd to me. But, at heart, I'm not a disagreeable person in the least. If you really say you're not a terrible gimmick, a real boy so to speak, then John, I believe you. If it's still real to you, dammit, it's real to me. But that begs the question, if you're not a gimmick, then what are you? I mean, going by your name, it leads me to believe that you either really don't remember who you are or you're just... generic. John Doe, a placeholder name, a term they use for peons, unknowns, collateral damage, the non-descript. I really didn't want to believe that, John, but then you come out and say some pretty garden variety things. Everybody deserves respect? The blind leading the blind? Really John? Christ, if I had known the discourse was going to be lowered to those levels, I'd have busted out my Billy Bob Thornton from Slingblade impersonation and offered up some a dem French-fried taters.

It's reasons like that that I show you no dignity, because you deserve none. Dignity is reserved for people with more than two brain cells to rub together so they can make more than the required amount of synapses to get their asses out of bed in the morning and figure out ways not to die from unnatural causes. In fact, if you make it to the arena without walking into an open sewer grate, I'll be impressed. I mean, arguing semantics and demanding respect for getting your head flushed down the toilet, disappearing for years and then losing to a man whose name is absurd even for this industry's standards isn't the best way to begin garnering respect. Even with your cute attempts at wordplay, are you living in the same world as I am? Fans do not pull for losers. People, by their very nature, are bandwagon jumpers. I mean, two years ago, how many Yankee fans did you know as opposed to two months ago? People like to feel like they're pulling for a winner, or at least that their horse has a chance. That is, the underdog. A fundamental flaw in your understanding, John. Maybe a Freudian slip, that you know you're destined for losing and are rationalizing it, because you're too vanilla to articulate a reason as to why you're going to win. Or maybe it's not whitebreadedness. Maybe it's a lack of confidence.

You see, I speak highly of Michael because I am confident in his skills. I'm confident that he'll channel his anger and his pain enough so that you don't walk out of Las Vegas healthy, but not too much that you end up accidentally winning because he violated the castigo excesivo rule. I'm fairly certain that he can win any match he wants because he knows how to fight, he doesn't give up and he has an endless source of energy welling in him in the form of his scars and his anguish. Again, I don't blame you if you don't believe me, because let's face it, Kenneth Williams is hardly competition. It's just a shame that you're going to have to feel it firsthand.

So John, if you want respect, show me something other than what you and five thousand other mediocre talents display from their handbooks. Show me a sign that you wouldn't remain anonymous in a crowd trying to gain attention from one person. Until then, to quote the great Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka,"You get nothing. You lose. Good day, sir."

Logan turns around and looks at Bastard.

TAL: Are you ready?

Bastard nods.

TAL: Good, let's head into town.

Logan turns around and swings at the camera with his cane. The camera knocks over and turns to static.

 

[John Doe]

Re: Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge, Not Respect

FADEIN…

John is in his own personal time, reading a book in his home. He is relaxed and he is calm, prepared with statements to Logan’s latest promo he is armed and ready. He has been training harder, working on his ring skills to prepare for this match up, but for now its time to relax. He is reading Of Mice and Men, a great book and sits at the head of the table. He sets his book down and begins to talk.

DOE:

“Why get into professional wrestling, Logan? A lot of questions you have their my friend, questions I already answered for you, but I really don’t have the time, or patience to repeat myself, Logan. I told you who I am, I explained why I do this sport, I even broke it down for you. For you however, I always did enjoy helping out slower people.”

“Honesty, you STILL can’t get the point. Do you have ADD? Are you just not paying attention? Or are you too stuck trying to prove to the wrestling community that I am a ‘gimmick’, and a poor one at that?”

“Hell , Logan you want to talk ‘generic’, you aren’t the first to try and stake a claim that my name means this, and my name means that. That has NOTHING to do with what will happen at Aggression Fifty. You trying to find some viable point to convince yourself you have a chance to win, it just ain’t solid.”

“It’s not even a starting foundation.”

“You don’t see that though, Logan, you don’t see the overall image, you are stuck painting two dimensional when we are in 3D. You are too concerned with the concept of my name, John Doe, rather than what exactly I am going to do to your buddy, Michael.”

“I don’t get the idea of calling my NAME a place holder, I don’t see the connection it makes to peons, unknowns, and collateral damage, I am sure we can take ANY name and spin some tale to it, about how it means this or that.”

“You lack any course of action, in fact you are so frustrated attempting to find SOMETHING to pin on me, that you are willing to take pop shots at my name. “

“And you were talking about being lowered to a certain level? As your unoriginal statements leave your mouth, as you follow a path many have followed, sh-t the booking lines just went up for you my friend, your odds are pummeling.”

“Simply put, I am Scott Brown, you are the health care bill, isn’t’ passing, isn’t going anywhere.”

“That’s just a humorous example, Logan, now you go on and try to pick it apart to make it seem like you have a snowballs chance in hell with me in that ring. As far as I am concerned, when that bell rings, I want to hear the second one ring a few minutes following.”

“With my arm raised of course.”

“Although Logan, you still haven’t gotten the hint, and as I said earlier if you want to quote me, do so correctly, that’s if you even want to be considered creditable, which you are failing so hard at doing.”

“I NEVER demanded your respect, in fact I said, “respect is earned, and I will earn yours following my victory, or maybe I won’t, it just depends what kind of man you are inside.” I believe that says enough right there, I want to earn your respect, not force you to give it to me through demands.”

“I even said you don’t have to give me it, it’s all depends on what kind of man YOU are. I am a man that respects everyone, I respect you, Michael even Ken Williams, and I respect you because you are willing to put yourself in that very ring, just like I am.”

“That is respect on a whole new level, if you refuse to respect me simple because Adam Benjamin put my head in a toilet, well, then that’s your issue, not mine. Your idea of respect and when it needs to be given, well, it’s simply flawed.”

“Ever hear the term, never underestimate and opponent, do you know why? Because if you have no respect for him, if you walk in like an arrogant pr-ck, you will be out smarted, simply because he wants it more than you, and he has respect for the industry and the people in it.”

“That’s me, Logan. The one who will lead Michael down the tunnel, take Michael to places you did not know he could go. Aggression Fifty isn’t just some place where Michael will showcase himself, it will be a place where he learns how to accept and deal with defeat.”

“How you deal with it, is not up to me, I am just the one to supply the experience.”

“I enjoy everything you say Logan, you are a one of a kind act, or would that be considered a ‘gimmick’? You really try hard to prove you are right. Sadly, you are wrong. People want to feel like they are pulling for a winner, Logan? The underdog is not a loser? And then you bring up the Yankees?”

“Let’s talk baseball then, Logan. The Chicago Cubs haven’t won a world series in over one hundred years, but they have a huge fan base. They sell out Wrigley Field every game practically, even though the fans know this year or the year next they will not win a world series they still support them.”

“Is that not a loser? Pulling for a loser? Isn’t the audience rallying behind the loser, or as you say the underdog? Did you not say, “The audience doesn't love a loser. They pity losers. The audience loves underdogs” Well by this example we can say the loser is the underdog. “

“The Yankees have never been the underdog, they have the money and fan base to make them a powerhouse team. If you ask people who they think will be in the playoffs they will say The Yankees, it’s a household name, is a dynasty team.”

“Even Webster says an underdog is a LOSER or predicted LOSER. So technically, the loser is the same AS an underdog, what you are trying to say, Logan? What are you getting at? Nothing you have said has made an ounce of sense.”

“But you rationally think Michael can defeat me? No, sorry, that is not how any of this WORKS. His anger, his scars, his pains, all of those tools he has, like I said, are nothing to what I use to channel myself. Now as you sit there, finding some reason to believe in Michael, saying he knows how to fight, remember. I do too.”

“I am not entering a brand new world, I am not new to this routine, and it is a routine. It has become something that happens a lot, some new person trying to believe in a higher cause, in a reason they can defeat me.”

“Aran Dishon, he did beat me, on his own will power and talent. He pulled one up on me, but that is fine, as I said, history only repeats it’s self if one allows it to. Well it isn’t going to happen.”

“I am not afraid of Michael, he is not the first man I have wrestled, I don’t fear his size, I have wrestled bigger and more talented.”

“That’s just something you have to live with, it’s something you have to accept. Nothing in this world is a guaranteed, not even victories.”

“Well, this week, in Vegas I will welcome Michael to Empire Pro.”

“Then you can state that you encountered one person that was better than the other ‘five thousand’.

FADE OUT.

 

[TH]

Respect Is Only Freely Given by the Weak

The scene is the Bellagio Hotel, a moderately-priced, well-furnished room. The Amazing Logan, appearing as he did out on the road into Vegas, stands well in front of an open bathroom door, where steam distorts the vision inside. Michael Bastard is in the shower stall, very well hidden from view.

TAL: Oh, how cute, John, you learned how to pick up a dictionary. Bravo, kid, bravo. Of course, picking up a dictionary and knowing how to use it are two different things, but hey, kudos to you for taking those baby steps. In case you're wondering, John, I know what Webster's says, and I'm impressed you knew where to look and didn't accidentally pick up Webster, the complete series on DVD. Still, and this is pretty crucial for someone who's so real with his amnesia that even after all these years of being immersed in the life is still learning the finer points of the English language. There are two facets to any given word: the denotation and the connotation. Denotation is what you come at me with, and it's why I laugh at you.

Sure, if you want to get technical about things, there's an underdog in nearly every affair, but when you get down to the nitty gritty, the underdogs people support have a fighting chance. You come at me with the Cubs, a team that spends money and gets so close at times but fails in embarrassing and hilarious fashion that mental patients who cling to them believe they're cursed, and I tell you they're no losers, they're underdogs, perpetual underdogs for whatever cosmic or mental reason. See, when I say loser, I mean entities like the Kansas City Royals, the Detroit Lions, these teams that even their hometown fans have forsaken for their years of futility. No one supports them because no one believes that they will get the return on the investment.

Logan laughs to himself

TAL: Jesus Christ, I can't believe I just got pulled into an argument about semantics. See John, this is why you fail the verbal examination. You don't get it. You're too wrapped up in rationalizing your impending loss that you can't see why you're a loser and not an underdog. Yes John, I said it, you're already making excuses, even if you don't know it, even if you don't want to admit it. You come out and say things like the audience gets behind a loser or this gem, that you freely give out respect to everyone. Why, why do you respect everyone willy nilly? What have I done to earn your respect, John, well, other than school you in the ways of how to speak like something other than a troglodyte? What has Michael done to earn your respect other than brutalize the third man in this match in a fight that you probably didn't show up on time to the arena to see? You think you crying about how you want respect because you give it so freely will earn that? Think again.

You see, while you might think of me as a harsh critic, I am far more forgiving than the man you will be facing at Aggression 50, the biggest free television stage in the history of this company. You see John, I pity you. I feel sorry for you. I have a heart, and even though I feel no respect for your mental or physical abilities, it will pain me to see you ripped limb from limb. I mean, I can't even go see Freddy f*cking Krueger without cringing for half the movie.

But Michael Bastard? He doesn't feel pity. He doesn't feel sorrow. In fact, there are a very small range of emotions that Michael feels, and for good reason. The man has been broken, beaten and scarred, mentally and physically. He's had people let him down, people use him up, people ignore him in his time of greatest need. His body was a slave to illegal narcotics. His body ripped apart, scarred from living a harsher life in the last few years than anyone should ever have to live. Before I found him, before I was able to give him the things that his soul needed to heal, it was too late. The emotions that a normal human being like you or me feel, they were gone. The things he has in his soul? No one wants to admit that a man could exist in such a state. It's that scary, John.

And it's because of that, John, that I pity you, I feel sorry for you. I'm a man. Michael? He's a shell, looking for something to fulfill him. Something healthy, something that won't destroy him in the long run. Unfortunately for you and for our pot-smoking grave-dwelling friend, what's healthy for Michael will be lethal for you.

So, while you're at it, while you have the dictionary out, look up some other words, like blood transfusion, fracture, decimation. But don't worry about figuring out how to use them. You see, where you're headed, the connotation and the denotation both spell really, really bad things.

Logan looks back at the open bathroom door, steam still billowing out, and then knocks the camera over with his cane, sending the camera to static.

 

[John Doe]

This Time Pay Attention

FADEIN…

A pet store, John Doe is standing in front of a birdcage that hosts a Parrot. He is laughing a bit saying words to the animal and waiting for responses back. He isn’t really paying attention as the cameras are now behind him, he finally notices them a few seconds following giving a small nod and a smile to the camera men.

DOE:

There you go parrot, keep on repeating the same thing, good parrot, you are semi-intelligent. You remind me of this guy Logan, ever hear of him?

Parrot: Logan, Logan.

DOE:

Indeed, Logan, he acts exactly like you. Hmm…

Ah! Logan, are you watching, are you listening? You haven’t been LISTENING at all my friend, you have been just watching with your ears closed, not paying attention.

I just want to cut right to it. Logan, you keep on trying to justify what an underdog is. Off to it, try and twist a word and try to make it to your own definition, to what you WANT it to mean.

Hell, I can do that too, I can take words and force them to mean something, I can tell you this is what it is and no matter what it will always be that way. Is that correct, would I be right?

NO.

But, at least we got you off the topic of gimmicks and onto SOMETHING else. Congratulations, Logan, you are finally being redundant on a new subject.

But, you go on talk about sports, tell me about the Cubs, the Royals, the Detriot Lions, but hell, they STILL have a fan base. People STILL go out and root for them and rally hoping, knowing it won’t happen, thinking it can’t happen, but BELIEVING it will.

Hence, the loser is the underdog, and the audience is STILL rallying behind them. Your point of fans leaving and abandoning them. When one fan leaves another takes its place, and there will be one fan for that team.

What exactly is your point, Logan? What are you trying to get at other than attempting to skew a word underdog to your PERSONAL definition that goes against what INTELLIGENT people say it means.

Now please, go back to the drawing board.

Logan, you ask questions, that I gave answers to already, JUST TO FILL AIR TIME. You ask these ridiculous questions and I am forced to answer them, not because I want to, but because I have to. I have to show the world how incredibly stupid you are.

And it doesn’t surprise me that the fans despise you.

They don’t even give him, Michael, a pity cheer. I would, just simply because he is from that human wasteland of Flint, Michigan.

I give you respect Logan, because I respect people who get in that ring, just like I do. It takes a certain mind and person to want to do this for a living, and people who do, like you and I, deserve respect. I told you that, you lack to hear it.

And as FAR off the mark you are believing you are ‘schooling’ me with your words, as you are failing SO epically hard at everything, that even you can't see it, but I can, and so can the fans.

As you make so many errors, as you repeat yourself time after time like a parrot, you just show ME and the fans, who root for the ‘underdog’, how much EASIER it’s going to be for me to pull one over you.

So, keep on promoting, Michael, Logan.

Like I said, I have no fear for him, and I do not feel sorry for him. I don’t care how many narcotics have been pumped inside of him, he can be a walking crack child and use every bit of his crack baby powers to try and beat me.

All it will be is a sad attempt at victory.

He can have any tool he wants, Logan. It STILL wouldn’t be enough to defeat me. So you go on, cut another promo on how big Michael is, how angry and mad he has become, how his mother was raped and his father snorted crack, whatever else you can pull out of your ass.

I on the other hand will shake my head in how sad it is that you are trying so hard to make him seem unbreakable.

Trust me, he will be broken.

Trust me, he will suffer more than any of those drugs have done to him.

And trust me, the state I put him in, he will wish he wasn’t existing.

Remember that, because I may forget it.

FADEOUT

 

[TH]

Drivel Is Not Worty of Attention

The scene is outside the Bellagio. A valet has pulled the beaten-up F-150 around to the entrance area. Michael Bastard, dressed in sweats and a wifebeater, is loading up duffel bags into the bed. The Amazing Logan stands on the passneger's side, dressed as he's been for the last two appearances.

TAL: Maybe I had it all wrong after all, John. Maybe my skepticism and sarcasm at your supposed head injuries and amnesia are misguided. Maybe you really did suffer a head injury. I mean, how else could you still be fixated on the BS semantics, or debating on which terrible teams have the most head-injured fans that still support them? Maybe I should be a little less harsh on you for not being able to comprehend what I've been saying and mistaking it for some kind of parrot act. It's clear I'm dealing with someone operating at less than optimal brain functionality.

John, I know you're not going to get what I'm about to say, but I'll do it anyway, just for posterity. Have you ever heard the phrase "perception is reality", John? Of course not, you wouldn't be poring through ticket sales statistics to try and use techincalities to make it appear that I'm a fraud, a crackpot, but the overarching point is that if you keep losing, no one will care about you. I've seen it plenty of times all around the sporting world, whether it be Royals games routinely not selling out, or the many guys in this industry that I've seen in my 15-plus years around it who come out to crickets because they lose and they lose in such a fashion that it doesn't make the crowd give a rat's ass about them.

John, if you can somehow figure out a way to be like Kenta Kobashi, a guy the fans rallied around early in his career despite being an abject loser, rather than the Josh Novells or the Lady Freedoms of this business, the lone guy who can break through despite being totally inept at his job, well, bravo to you. If you feed off that energy and hold the crowd's approval in higher esteem than getting the winner's portion of the paycheck, John? Hell, I'll think you're an idiot, but if it gets you high, then so be it.

But don't pretend that those people out there will make you win when you're severely outmatched. Don't think their support will allow you to outmuscle Michael, outtough Michael or even outsmart Michael. It's not going to happen. You see, while you're in this for the support of the crowd, Michael is in it to win and inflict as much punishment as he can doing it. Those are the things that drive him, whether the crowd cheers him, boos him or sits on their hands while he's in the spotlight. If you think I care about what they think? Well... you know what, you're more insipid than I thought you were to begin with. Those people may pay the bills and I may be grateful that they pack the arena to watch this modern day gladiatorial exposition, but what they think of me or my charge couldn't be any further from my train of consciousness that it is.

So you go ahead, you strain for approval. You pull out all the stats you can and hope that someone says, "YEAH RIGHT ON! You tell that stupid Logan that he's full of poop because he says the Lions have no fans! Yeah!" Because after Aggression 50, that approval ain't gonna pay the hospital bill, John. It ain't gonna get you closer to any thing remotely resembling a leather belt with gold affixed to it. It ain't gonna get you any closer to garnering respect from me, from Michael, or from anyone who appreciates a good wrestler.

All that approval is going to get you is maybe a get-well card and solace that you've pulled the wool over the eyes of the myopic genpop into thinking you're any more than a blithering buffoon with no depth of perception.

Bastard finishes loading and walks around to the passenger side to hop into the seat. Logan knocks the camera over with his cane, fading to static.