Re: AGGRESSION 53: Michael Bastard & Donovan Astros vs. Karl Brown (c) & Shawn Hart (
The scene is a shared hotel-room in Minneapolis, a suite. The door one of the bedrooms is closed. Logan stands in front of it.
TAL: If you haven't noticed by now, Michael has a really deep, dark past. I don't know if I've intimated any of this before, but if I have, I didn't go deep into it. Yes, when I found Michael, he was addicted to heroin, PCP and horse tranquilizers, otherwise known as ketamine or Special K. I picked him up out of that gutter and saved him from that life, one that would have ended badly for him. But the fact that he survived as long as he did is a testament to both the hardiness of his body and to the superior discipline I provided him in his recovery. Now, Michael is clean.
Why am I telling you all this? Well Karl, you see Michael is fast asleep in the room behind me, approaching four in the afternoon, Central Standard Time. Did he have a late night last night, partying and reveling? No. Did he relapse? No, he did not. Then why is he asleep? He was bored so much by your latest promotional video that he passed out. Think about it, a man who was addicted to ketamine, one of the most powerful tranquilizers known to man and survived, was knocked out by your promo. You are a Weapon of Mass Sedation. Why am I not asleep? Well, I too am an addict, although my drug of choice is caffeine. It would take a promo twice in length and thrice in dryness to put me out. Thank our lucky stars that Cameron Cruise wasn't in this match, or else maybe I'd have fallen victim. Thankfully, I'm not, and I can address your concerns, especially those about Michael being desperate.
You see, Karl, Michael is desperate. I won't deny that; he's always at his wit's end. Have you ever been in the ring with a desperate man, though, Karl? Well, of course you have. Facing a desperate wrestler is commonplace in this industry full of desperate men, be they washouts looking to hold onto fleeting glory or never-will-bes trying to prove to the world that they have talent when they clearly don't, guys coming back from injury et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. They can bite you if you're not careful, but for a techincal marvel like you, Karl "The Dragon" Brown. See, for the regular hapless case, you can scout out them going for a big move early, or counter a wide punch and it's all over, right?
But you see Karl, Michael is a different kind of desperate. He can do things that those other men can't, that quote-unquote sane men wouldn't even think of doing because he can do them. He fights with a spirit of desperation, but there's someone home. He knows the score at the very least, and for the things he doesn't know, I'm there to back him up, bestowing upon him nuggets of knowledge that he can use. Even if that weren't the case, Karl, you saw it at Aggression 52 in the way it took everything including a nuclear-charged kitchen sink from Layne Winters to put him down. Or maybe you didn't, since you're admitting that you haven't paid attention to Michael until now, and that you're lying through your teeth, your crooked, yellow, English teeth about how you're not going to underestimate Michael come Aggression 53.
Either way, your patronizing attitude is going to be your downfall. I have to wonder if you've ever, ever taken a beating as vicious and ruthless as the one Winters laid out on Michael, a beating that he was barely able to eke a three count on, but would have knocked a lesser man out for a ten count. You say it's his job to want to get right back into the ring after taking eight German suplexes, but yet I have to wonder if your prissy, British body would have done the same or if it would have done the predictable thing and chartered the first jet back across the pond for your bad food and socialized healthcare. The fact is, you're woefully out of touch with the kind of person Michael is, and the sad part is, you've admitted it through the things you've said. You wouldn't have been raring to go, but Michael, well, Michael was, and he is right now.
So the question becomes, are you ready? Are you ready to go into battle with the Wrestler Your Favorite Wrestler Is Afraid of, Karl? The New Craziest Bastard in the Empire? Or are you just sitting there, counting the days until you can get this over with, because hey, it's already in your mind that you've got this in the bag. You and Shawn Hart, two decorated Champions of the Empire, sitting back, waiting for the two dysfunctional challengers to rend their partnership asunder for a chance at gold. The only thing is, Hart hasn't shown up yet, and who knows if he'll be there come Aggression 53, even if he does show up in the flesh. Of course, if he does show up, you may yet have nothing to fear, as I'd rather have his longer tenured, more prestigious belt around Michael's waist than your Television Champion. So maybe you ought to take a holiday if you can. Because while I'd rather have Michael take the Intercontinental Championship, he doesn't care what kind of gold he has, just as long as he gets to have some.
And trust me, if you think Astros is going to be a problem for us? The guy hasn't had the temerity to speak up yet either. If he's intimidated now, then just wait until we get to the ring. Michael won't have to lift a finger to get Astros to do what he's told. All it'll take is a stern command from me, and then Michael can take the both of you down himself, which as we've already established, will just end up being you anyway.
But don't worry about it Karl. Again, it is just business, and given that your partner is the one who's putting up less of the resistance here, I don't think you'll have to worry about a damn thing. But be forewarned. Your implied hubris has been taken note of. You may escape this round relatively unscathed and you may escape a date with the Reaper next week with your gold on the line, but that doesn't mean you're saved completely. No, Michael is going to make a reckoning with everyone here sooner or later.
That is, unless you can somehow garner Michael's attention with another overdose of verbal Valium during the match itself. Then, we might be in trouble. For now though, well, when this sleeping giant awakens, well, it's not going to be pretty.
Logan raises his cane to hit the camera, but pulls back, making the cameraman flinch and reflexively turn the camera off.